Dr Cullen and the Rick Astley Blues
by vampfan173
Summary: Drop dead gorgeous boy genius, neurological resident at UDub Medical Ctr & momma's boy, Dr. Edward Cullen has relied on two constants: a well-planned life & the wisdom of 80s pop icon Rick Astley's songs. But when a certain brown eyed girl complicates tho
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** To those who previously followed or favorite this story, I thank you. I did not abandon my story. As I was writing chapter 28, I reviewed that entire story and found way too many errors. I decided to remove the story to edit and revise some of the storyline and fix the mess. I was embarrassed by all the errors. Please forgive me. I am not planning on changing the plot or outcome just cleaning it up a bit. I'm not too proud to beg so if you read a chapter PLEASE leave a review; good or bad.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

**Chapter 1 "Never Gonna Give You Up" [radio version]**

_"We're no strangers to love, You know the rules and so do I, A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, You wouldn't get this from any other guy, I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, _

_Gotta make you understand, Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. . ."_

"Oh for Christ's sakes babe," whined Carlisle as he peeked over the top of the medical journal. A hint of playfulness sparkled in his deep blue eyes. "If you love me at all, please stop singing that ridiculously sappy song to _my_ son. The eighties are over; move on woman!"

"Ridiculous! Sappy! I will have you know Dr. Carlisle Cullen that _Never Gonna Give You Up_ is neither ridiculous nor sappy. It's romantic and he is _my_ baby boy," cooed Esme in her lovey- dovey voice. With the sappy song still playing in the background, Esme walked over to her son who played on the floor with his baby doctor set. She smiled down at _her_ baby boy before she picked him up and placed him on her hip. "Huh baby, isn't momma's favorite song in the whole-wide world so romantic," continued Esme's cooing.

Nodding in agreement, "yike song momma."

At her son's response, Esme turned to her husband and playfully stuck out her tongue.

Carlisle shook his head, rolled his eyes and snickered. "Very mature sweetheart, very mature. He's barely a toddler. What does he know about romantic music? I bet if you asked him if he liked that song by that guy who wears eyeliner . . . you know who I'm talking about." Carlisle paused to think of the song or the band. "Anyway, he'd say yes to that song too."

"When my son grows up he is going to be the most romantic man in the whole-wide world," Esme gushed as she ran her fingers through her son's unruly copper hair. Her lovey-dovey voice returned as she spoke to her son. "All the girls are gonna want to marry you. Isn't that right my baby boy? All the girls are gonna want to marry _my_ baby boy but I won't let them because you're momma's baby boy, huh my baby boy." She turned back to her husband, "And the song is 'Just Like Heaven' by The Cure sweatheart."

At Esme's declaration, Carlisle stood up and took his son from his wife.

"When my son grows up he is going to be one of the most respected neurosurgeons in the whole-wide world and we are going to work side-by-side in the operating room. You won't have time for sappy romance songs and silly girls. Isn't that right son?" proclaimed Carlisle as he turned to his wife and playfully stuck out his tongue at her.

With his twinkling emerald green eyes and lopsided smile, Carlisle's son once again nodded in agreement but this time to his father's declaration.

Smugly satisfied with his two year old son's nod, Carlisle eyed his wife. "At least my son's red hair doesn't look like that carrot top Rick Astley guy. He looks like the red-headed stepchild," teased Carlisle.

Esme huffed. "My son doesn't have red hair. I will have you know that his hair is a copper bronze shade. I looked it up," she huffed to her silly husband. "And why can't he be both romantic and a highly respected neurosurgeon at the same time. He can be deadly handsome and intelligent just like his daddy."

"Then it's a plan," victoriously declared Carlisle.

"Then it's a plan," giggled Esme.

"Our boy will be a highly respected neurosurgeon."

"And a drop dead gorgeous romantic at heart," quickly added Esme with a laugh.

"And romantic," agreed Carlisle with a silly defeated smile.

"Really honey, in all seriousness, you do know that we really don't have any say in what he is going to be when he grows up. His decisions will be entirely his own. As his parents, our job will be to support whatever he wants to do," lectured Esme.

Carlisle nodded in agreement, "but it's nice to dream don't you think. . . and, hey! When did you become so mature?"

"Oh hush you! I am a college graduate I will have you know. Now, finish your article." Esme lightheartedly scolded.

Esme retrieved her son from her husband's arms and walked over to the stereo where her favorite romantic song began to play again.

Carlisle just shook his head and laughed as he watched his wife and son sing along.

_"We've known each other for so long, Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it, _

_Inside we both know what's been going on, We know the game and we're gonna play it, And if you ask me how I'm feeling, Don't tell me you're too blind to see . . . Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. . ."_

Meeting her husband's eyes, Esme loudly whispered to her emerald green eyed copper bronze haired baby boy Edward. "Okay baby, we will only listen to our song when daddy, who has no taste in music what so ever, isn't home. Okay my baby boy."

**A/N:**

"_Never Gonna Give You Up"_ by Peter Alan Waterman, Matthew James Aitken, and Mike Stock. Next chapter will be up fairly soon I promise. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2 Some Kinda Love

**A/N:** This is Edward's story but will be told from both Edward and Bella's point of view. I promise not to repeat chapters but may include snippets to move the chapter along. Because Edward is a closet Rick Astley fan, all the chapters will be titled after one of Mr. Astley's songs.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I take no credit for any mention of our pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

**Chapter 2 Some Kinda Love**

**EPOV**

"Yes mom . . . yes . . . yes I submitted my application on time . . . no, I haven't heard anything yet. . . Yes, I was notified of a match in March but I haven't received any further information about a location yet. . . Yes, I know but . . ." I hate lying to my mom but, in this case, it is a very necessary evil.

"I simply don't understand baby boy."

Internally, I laugh at her term of endearment. For as long as I can remember, my mom has called me baby boy, especially when she is in momma bear mode. There's no doubt about it, I'm a momma's boy. Always have been, always will be. That's why the concern in her voice was killing me.

"This is so strange. You should have heard by now. You should have received some sort of notification. . . I just don't understand what's causing the delay. Maybe I should ask your father to look into why you haven't heard anything yet."

"I promise, if I haven't heard anything within the next week or so, I'll let dad use his connections to see what he can find out."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise," I laugh. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Will Alice be back from Maui in time for the ceremony?"

In late May, my younger sister Alice had graduated from NYU completing a double major in both Marketing and Entrepreneurship. Despite the current state of the economy, she has plans to start her own business; in what, she still has no idea but that's her plan. As a graduation gift, my parents gave Alice a trip for two to Maui. So before Alice begins her life as megalomaniac, she and Rosalie Hale, her best friend from college, are enjoying a well-deserved vacation of sun, surf and sex on the beach. I shudder at the thought of that last statement so I rephrase it; many sex on the beach cocktails. Okay wait, so now I have included the word 'cock' and my sister in the same thought, another shudder. Let me try this one last time; So Alice and Rosalie are enjoying a well-deserved vacation of sun, surf and pina coladas in Maui. Yes, that is so much better.

"Oh my silly baby boy, you know your sister wouldn't miss her big brother's graduation for anything in the world. Oh my God, two graduations in less than one month. No wonder I feel like I'm having a heart attack," grimaces Esme. "We reserved a room for her at the same bed and breakfast. Of course, we booked her room on the other side of the inn if you get my meaning," mischievously laughs my mom.

Oh great, first I say _cock _and Alice in the same sentence and now my mother is commenting on her and dad's sex life. I can imagine my mom with her left eyebrow arched and her crooked smile as she insinuates . . . never mind what she is insinuating. I shudder again to shake away the disturbing image from brain. "Ewwww, mother please, I did not need to hear that!" Yeah, now that medical school is over I really need to move on with my plan and find a wife soon, really soon.

"Oh baby boy, don't be silly. In less than a week, you are going to be a doctor. Please don't tell me you missed the class on the birds and the bees," she chortles.

"Thanks for the visual mom. Now I'm gonna have to go home and bleach my brain to get rid of the image no child ever wants to imagine about their parents," I grumble.

"Oh don't be silly. . . Are you sure you don't need me to bring you anything? Do you need a new shirt or tie? What about socks? Are you okay with socks," she agonizes.

"Mom, relax. I'm fine. I've already sent my suit to the dry cleaners to be pressed. I have the dress shirts you sent me last week along with the half dozen or so new pairs of socks and ties," I attempt to reassure my solicitous mother.

My parents are going to spend graduation week at a local bed and breakfast in Hanover. Both being Dartmouth alum, they want to spend the week visiting the campus and catching up with old friends and faculty. My dad calls the visit a mini vacation but I suspect mom has ulterior motives and really wants to help with the packing and selecting my graduation attire for me.

I remind mom that the upcoming week is going to be extremely hectic for me and I really won't have much time to spend with them. She assures me not to worry about entertaining them. She mentions they have a very busy itinerary planned for their visit and will be perfectly fine on their own.

"Listen mom, I don't mean to cut you off but I really do have to go. I've gotta a few errands to run, I've gotta start packing up the apartment, and then Jazz and I are meeting some friends for dinner. I will see you in less than a week okay. I love you mom."

"Okay, I love you too my baby boy. I'm so proud of you and I will see you soon. Bye."

For the past six years, I've shared an off campus apartment with my best friend, Jasper Whitlock. Jasper and I met in an undergraduate science class and have been best friends ever since. Our apartment is the typical graduate student's apartment. We have a non-descriptive living room set, a dining room set which is used more for studying than eating, and two generic bedroom sets.

Since Jasper and I didn't have a lot of unnecessary clutter, we didn't have much to pack other than our clothes. We did, however, need to decide what basic furnishings would be donated, sold, or simply given away to other needy students. However, there are two essential items that would definitely need to be carefully packed away, my PS3 and Jasper's Xbox 360 and our assortment of video games.

Along with a busy week of cleaning and packing, my graduation from Geisel Medical School of Dartmouth includes an extremely hectic yet traditional series of rehearsals, ceremonies, and receptions.

On Friday morning, the medical students will rehearse at the Life Science Center Courtyard. In the afternoon, there's an awards ceremony followed by a reception at McLaughlin Cluster Lawn.

On Saturday morning, Jazz and I will be up early for our class photo at the Oopik Auditorium followed by the Processional Ceremony with both prestigious keynote speakers and student speakers and, once again, a reception will follow at McLaughlin Cluster Lawn.

On Sunday, the graduates will meet at Sanborn House or, if it's raining, at Silsby Hall to line up for the commencement ceremony. Rain or shine the ceremony will begin precisely at 9:30 a.m. the College Green.

Anticipation of the week's upcoming events has put me in a slightly nostalgic, if not a melancholy mood. Despite the number of errands and packing I have planned, I found myself sentimentally wandering the campus that has played such an inherent role in my life thus far. I've spent eight years of my life on this campus, four years as an undergraduate and four as a graduate student. Wandering Dartmouth is not how I had planned to spend my day but there was something off balance about today. Without questioning this anomalous sentiment, I continue to aimlessly walk the campus for the last time.

I am pulled out of my nostalgia as the sounds of campus life come to life. Finding myself in front of the campus bookstore, I wonder in to browse one last time not looking for anything in particular to buy.

I had already gotten my parents a thank you gift for all their love and support these past eight years but when I happen to chance upon the Dartmouth Geisel Medical School hoodies; I couldn't resist. I'm certain my parents would proudly wear them. As a joke, I decide to purchase an oversized hoodie for Alice knowing all too well she wouldn't be caught dead wearing one unless, of course, it was a Chanel hoodie.

I stifle a laugh at my very uncharacteristic last minute spontaneity. Yes, definitely an off kilter kind of day. As I reach for the hoodies, my hand bumps a delicate pale hand causing an electrical shock wave through my entire body.

Before I can apologize for the shock, the owner of the delicate pale hand screams out in pain. "Man that shit hurts!" She flails her hand in the air attempting to shake the pain away but then suddenly stops. "Hey, does that mean we have some sorta electric cosmic connection," laughs the owner of the delicate pale hand.

I apologize for bumping hand and setting off a shock wave as I continue to grab the hoodies checking for the appropriate sizes. I lecture the girl with the delicate pale hand, "Well actually an electric shock is due to the unreleased static electricity that builds up in your body. It is not released until it has a conductive point, much like a capacitor."

"Okay, okay Sheldon relax," placates the girl with the delicate pale hand.

"Sheldon," I ask with a quizzical look on my face. "Who's Sheldon? My name's Edward."

"Well, hola Edward. I'm Penny," she laughs.

Penny continues to laugh as I internally question exactly what she was laughing about.

I clear my throat to grab her attention. "Well Penny, it was nice to shock you . . . I mean meet you . . . meet you. Yes, it is nice to meet you. Listen, I've gotta go," I stutter. "Enjoy your hoodie."

I walk in the direction of the cashier with a laughing Penny following close behind. As we stand in the cashier line, I turn in her direction and smile. Really looking at her for the first time, I notice that she is quite stunning. Don't get me wrong, she is a bit odd with her random laughter but, never the less, quite exquisite. Upon closer inspection, I notice her warm chocolate eyes with splashes of twinkling golden honey. Haphazardly, cascading around her face is long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights. The contrast between her dark features and luminous skin is breathtaking. An intoxicatingly faint scent of freesia or strawberry or wisteria or a combination of all three tantalizes my senses. We continue to lock eyes as I attempt to identify her intoxicating scents but my trance is broken by the cashier clearing his throat. My head swivels between the cashier and Penny before I mumble a sorry to the cashier. Emphatically, yes, without a doubt, the most uniquely stunning woman I have ever seen.

To sneak one last look at Penny, I turn back and offer to let her go ahead of me in line.

"Penny, since you have only one item why don't you go ahead of me," I offer.

She giggles as she graciously accepts and thanks me for the gesture.

Penny moves forward and hands her hoodie to the cashier.

"That'll be $69.99," announces the cashier.

Removing a small backpack from her left shoulder and placing it on the counter, Penny takes out her wallet and proceeds to count out a stack of single dollar bills. I wonder why she only has single bills. Pausing, she scowls and recounts her stack of singles once again before addressing the cashier.

"I'm sorry man. I seem to be short about eight bucks. I'll come back some other time. Oh well, thanks anyway. . . Man, I really wanted a Dartmouth hoodie. Oh well."

Shrugging her shoulders, Penny replaces her stack of single bills into her wallet and slings her backpack over her left shoulder.

"Um, excuse me Penny," I interrupt. "If you don't mind I could give you the eight dollars?" The offer comes out sounding more like a question than statement. "Honestly, it would be my pleasure."

"Oh Sheldon sweetie, that is so gallant of you but no thanks. It's okay. I can come back another day. No biggie."

"But you just said you really wanted a Dartmouth hoodie. So take the money and buy the hoodie. Believe me I am more than happy to give you the eight dollars. As you said it's no biggie." I mimic.

This makes Penny giggle again as she continues to decline my offer. I decide to come up with an alternative plan.

"Bye again Sheldon and thanks all the same," she calls as she heads for the exit door.

Momentarily, I stare at her long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights swaying side to side. My heart begins to beat erratically the farther she walks away from me. I turn to the cashier, place my hoodies on the counter and tell the cashier I will be right back.

"Penny! Penny wait," I call out to her as she continues toward the exit. "Penny!" I catch up to her just outside the door. She stops and turns toward me. "Since you won't take my offer of money, will you take my very old very used sweatshirt," I offer as I begin to remove the Dartmouth sweatshirt I am wearing. "Think about it. You won't have to make another trip back and you'll save about seventy bucks. It may be just a tad too big for you but please take it just the same." I won't lie. This is my very first Dartmouth sweatshirt and it holds great sentimental value but I need her to take it. I don't understand why but I _need_ her to possess something of mine.

"Oh Sheldon, you really are just too gallant. Thank you kind sir, I would be most honored to take you up on your offer," she accepts with a slight curtsey. "I can see you're not gonna be satisfied until I accept your offer but . . . would you be offended if I at least paid you for the hoodie?"

A scowl crosses my face but before I could respond, Penny laughs again.

"Scratch that. I think I knew the answer to that question even before I asked. And, the look on that beautiful face of yours says it all," she laughs throwing her head back.

She thinks I have a beautiful face. I smile.

Smiling, Penny accepts my very old very used sweatshirt. She drops her backpack and, before putting the hoodie on, she places it close to her face, instinctively closes her eyes and sniffs the sweatshirt. Her eyes slowly open as she captures my eyes and then she smiles.

Absolutely uniquely stunning but odd I internally confirm as I swallow a lump in my throat.

Penny picks up her backpack and hangs it over her shoulder. She steps closer to me and quickly places a kiss on my cheek.

The instant her soft pouty lips touch my cheek I again feel that electric shock wave travel my body.

"Yup, definitely an electric cosmic connection," she giggles. "Thanks again Sheldon. I truly do appreciate your kindness and I promise to take extra good care of _our_ hoodie," she states in a more serious tone. With that final declaration, she turns and walks away causing my heart to experience erratic palpitations.

I call out, "Oh and Penny, my name is Edward not Sheldon."

Laughing loudly, she calls back, "Yeah, I know Edward. And my name isn't Penny it's Bella!" She shakes her head and giggles as she continues to walk away from me.

Bella? Why would she tell me her name is Penny if it's really Bella I question? Yes, most definitely odd, beautiful but odd.

With one last look at Bella, I walk back into the bookstore. I return to the section that carries the hoodies and pick up a new one for me. Thinking Jasper might appreciate one last souvenir of our years here at Dartmouth, I grab one more for him too.

By the time I get back to my apartment, Jasper is already in the process of packing.

"Hey man, where you've been? We have to meet everybody soon."

"I'm sorry Jazz. I had a couple of errands to run and then . . . ," I continue to retell the story of my wandering the campus one last time. I recount the story of my meeting the very stunning yet very odd Penny slash Bella.

As I continue with my Penny slash Bella story, the more loudly Jasper laughs.

"You know Edward for someone as highly intelligent as you, you really are oblivious sometime. Don't you know who Sheldon and Penny are?"

I think for a moment and shake my head no.

"Sheldon and Penny are from The Big Bang Theory."

The blank look on my face tells him I have no clue who or what he is talking about. He picks up the television remote control, turns on the television and begins to channel surf.

"There has to be a rerun on. There's always a Big Bang Theory rerun playing. Yes! I knew it. Now sit, watch and learn Sheldon," orders Jasper.

As Jazz and I watch a rerun of The Big Bang Theory, I focus my attention on the Sheldon character and wonder why Bella compares me to the likes of him. By the end of the episode, I have mixed emotions about this Sheldon Cooper character. Yes, Sheldon is definitely different from the other characters on the show but I find him to be endearing. Is that how she saw me? I didn't know how to feel about this comparison. More importantly, why am I worrying about her opinion of me? I'm never going to see her again. What she thinks of me should be of no consequence but . . . it is.

At our favorite hangout, I quickly down a couple of drinks though I am not much of a drinker. I listen to Jazz regale our friends with my Sheldon and Penny story. I hear their muffled laughter but my mind is a million miles away. I order a cheeseburger and fries. I hadn't eaten all day and I am starting to feel somewhat lightheaded. I decide it best to eat if I plan on having another drink.

Later that night, my head and the room are spinning. I knew that last drink was a mistake. I have never been one to hold their liquor. I am exhausted and more than a bit intoxicated but I can't sleep. I grab my IPod, shuffle my songs, and try to sleep when Rick Astley's "Some Kinda Love" begins to softly play. Yeah, on one of my visits home, momma bear had somehow gotten a hold of my IPod and felt it necessary to load it with a catalogue of Rick Astley music. Spending most of my childhood with Rick Astley's number one fan, a Mrs. Esme Cullen, I became a closet fan through osmosis.

_"They set the wheels in motion Adam and Eve, The beginning of romance, He was a lonely man, I do believe, So he thought he'd take a chance, I know just how he was feeling, He'd been advised not to fall, But when his senses were reeling, That man, he wanted it all . . ."_

The rest of graduation week is as busy as I anticipated it would be. Jazz and I empty our apartment and ship our belongings. Mom and dad are busy with old friends but, surprisingly, mom somehow finds time to check that my graduation suit is clean and pressed and that the apartment is in ship shape for the landlord's inspection.

Jasper and I promptly arrive at Sanborn Hall carrying a chilled bottle of champagne compliments of Jasper's parents. I pull out the paper cups I have hidden inside the sleeve of my graduation gown. As I disperse the paper cups to our fellow graduates, one by one Jazz fills them. We raise the cups and toaste to the past, the present and the future.

Precisely at 9:30 a.m., Pomp and Circumstance simultaneous begins with the first step of the graduation march. When it is time for the valedictorian speech, I rise and walk to the podium. Family, friends and the distinguished guest politely clap. Once the clapping ends, I hear a faint voice shout, "That's my baby boy."

My eyes scan the audience as I shake my head and laugh. I compose myself as I begin my speech. While I understand that this speech represents the entire graduating class, I am obligated to include a personal thank you to my parents. I look directly to my father and then to my mother. Looking between my mom and dad, I thank them for all their support and convey, as best I can, how much I appreciate all they have done for me. I look once again to my dad and tell him I love him. Lastly, I look into my mother's eyes and say, "I love you momma bear."

In pure Esme style, she proudly stands up and yells, "I love you too my baby boy!"

The audience simultaneously laughs and applauds. The rest of the ceremony proceeds in a blur and, before I knew it, Jasper and I are officially graduates of the Geisel Medical School of Dartmouth. I have successfully completed one more step in my life's plan and more than ready to begin the next. In a moment of satisfaction, I close my eyes and am met with . . . . warm chocolate eyes with hints of twinkling golden honey. . . long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights. I stare back at those eyes until the image fades away.

**A/N: **

Ain't too proud to beg. . . please, please, please leave a review. I would love to hear any suggestions from those who are reading my story. "Some Kinda Love" by Al Hodge, Lesley Duncan and Tony Cox.


	3. Chapter 3 Ones You Love

**A/N: **Thank you to those who have viewed or visited my story. Knowing that someone is reading the story is so encouraging. If you read this chapter, please leave a review to let me know what you think. Reviews are like a drug to me lol.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I take no credit for any mention of our pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

**Chapter 3 Ones You Love**

At end of the ceremony, Jasper and I give each other a very manly congratulatory hug. We are both going to spend a day or two with our respective families before heading out. With one last mandatory high five, we separate in search of a familiar face. I attempt to make my way through a sea of graduates and their family and friends. Suddenly, I realize that I have not seen my sister Alice in the audience but, in all honesty, trying to spot anyone in this crowd is like the proverbial needle in a haystack, nearly impossible. I seriously hope that Alice hadn't missed the ceremony not for any selfish reason but I knew she would be guilt ridden for missing her big brother's graduation. I would never hear the end of how sorry she is and her persistent begging of forgiveness.

Continuing my search, I finally recognize a pixie like voice. I walk in the direction of the high pitch voice and spot my parents searching in all directions. I hear Alice call out _Edward_ once more as she bobs up and down attempting to see above the crowd.

I call out to Alice but, of course, it is my mother who spots me first looking more like a quarterback than my mother as she maneuvers her way through the crowd.

I brace myself for the mother of all bear hugs I undoubtedly know is coming. As my mother comes face to face with _her baby boy_, she stops dead in her tracks. Instead of a momma bear hug, she smiles and reaches out her hand to mine. Confused, I hold out my hand to her. My mother's emerald green eyes fill with tears as she looks into mine. She chokes back her tears and proudly whispers, "Congratulations Dr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

With sudden clarity, I realize my mother wants to be the first to officially call me doctor. As tears roll down her cheeks, _I_ pull mom into a bear hug. She returns my bear hug with her own hug as she cries into my chest. In between her sobs, I hear her mumble into my deep green graduation gown how proud she is and how much she loves her baby boy before she sobs again.

I look up to see dad and Alice giving us our mother and son moment. Knowing there is going to absolutely be no way of prying his wife from her baby boy, my dad steps forward and hugs me with mom sandwich between us. He shakes my hand while congratulating the newest doctor of the family.

When dad is finally able to pry mom away from me Alice immediately steps in to take her place. Despite her constant denials, I laugh at how much she and mom are alike. She apologizes for being late to the ceremony but her plane had been delayed in Maui. I assure her that I was just glad she made it. I compliment her tan and that seems to take her mind off missing part of the ceremony. She chatters on about the warm weather and beautiful beaches of Maui and how much fun she and Rose had.

Once we make our way to the rental car, mom suggests we go out for a celebratory lunch. She recommends that the restaurant near the bed and breakfast might serve a nice lunch. Dad concurs and Alice states she doesn't mind where we eat.

"Mom, it's been a long week. Would you mind if we just went out for pizza and beer," I suggest.

"Pizza! Oh baby, we can't celebrate your graduation from medical school with pizza," she whines.

"Esme, need I remind you it is _Edward's_ day and if _he_ wants to celebrate with pizza and a beer, then pizza it is."

"But, but pizza? . . . Oh, alright. Pizza it is, if you're sure," concedes mom.

I nod in agreement.

The parking lot of the pizzeria is packed with cars.

My dad laughs. "Well it looks like Edward isn't the only one who wants to celebrate with pizza."

"I'll go place our name with the hostess," offers Alice. She says that it's pretty packed inside and it would probably be better if we wait outside.

As we wait, mom fawns over my valedictorian speech and thanks me for acknowledging her and dad. Dad pats me on the back shaking his head in agreement.

"Yes, thank you son. Your mother and I were very touched."

We continue with small talk. Alice comments on the differences of our graduation ceremonies. I talk about possibly going on a short vacation before starting my residency and Alice soundly recommends Maui. Dad begins to tease mom about her outburst during the ceremony and we all laugh.

"I don't care," huffs mom in protest. I love my baby boy and I don't care who knows it."

"I love you too mom." I coo back.

"Oh brother," moans Alice as she rolls her eyes in fake disgust. "And let the love fest begin."

Mom and I both turn to Alice and stuck out our tongues. Alice rolls her eyes again and laughs. "Very mature mother."

"Besides, mom and I aren't any worse than you and dad. Huh, daddy's princess," I tease in my best baby voice.

"Edward, stop teasing my princess," dad playfully scolds.

Alice and I banter back and forth as to who is more spoiled until we hear the hostess call our name. We stop mid-argument as we all follow her to our table. As we sit, she informs us that our server will be right with us. She asks who the graduate is as there are quite a few families here celebrating. I raise my hand and she congratulates me. Walking away, she turns around giving me a sly wink and a smile. Alice raises her brow and smirks at the hostess's gesture.

"Oh honey, pizza for your graduation celebration is not a celebration party. We cannot toast all your hard work with beer."

"Mom really it isn't a big deal. Besides, I know that little soiree you've planned for me once I get back home will make up for a pizza and beer party."

"What! Who told you?" Esme turns to Alice. "Alice, did you tell your brother about the party," mom asks in shock.

Before Alice could answer, I inform her that Jasper accidentally let it slip about a week or so ago.

Mom looks so disappointed that her surprise has been ruined. I reassure her I will act surprised which seems to placate her.

"Speaking of celebrations Edward, your mom and I got you a small graduation gift." As my dad speaks, mom opens her purse and hands a small wrapped box to dad.

"Dad, really you didn't need to get me anything."

"I know son but we wanted to. It's something you might . . . Oh, just open it," he orders.

I tear away the elegant wrapping paper and opened a small black box. The box holds a Dartmouth class ring with the medical school logo. Upon closer inspection, I notice the inside engraving that simply reads with love. As I admire my ring, I recall previously explaining to my parents that I wouldn't be ordering my class ring. The ring would have made a great memento of my time at Dartmouth but since I didn't wear much jewelry I didn't see the point.

"Guys, thank you. This is great. Mom, no wonder you weren't too upset when I told you I decided not to buy the ring."

Eyeing an approaching waitress Alice interrupts, "Oh, I think that's our waitress."

My senses are suddenly bombarded with freesia and wisteria and strawberry. My heart beats erratically.

From behind, I hear, "Good afternoon folks. My name is Bella and I will be your server today." As she introduces herself, she moves to the center of the table and begins to distribute the menus.

When she hands me my menu a look of surprise covers her face. "Sheldon, Sheldon, is that you?" She leans in a bit closer. "It is you," she giggles.

I look up noticing she is wearing _our_ hoodie. Discreetly, my eyes roam down and notice she has paired it with leggings and purple high top converse that match her hair. I smile. She's a waitress. That explains the stack of single dollar bills. I was relieved that they aren't stripper bills and then I shamefully reprimand myself for the off-colored joke.

Hoping my greeting appears casual while my heart races I say, "Hello Penny, how are you?"

"Her name is Bella not Penny," interrupts Alice. "And his name is Edward not Sheldon. This isn't The Big Bang Theory," playfully corrects Alice.

Dad smiles at Bella but my mom's reaction to the fact that I am acquainted with our beautiful waitress is neither subtle nor discrete. A huge mischievous smile crosses mom's face as she turns her body toward Bella. Placing her hand out to Bella, she introduces the rest of the family. Politely, Bella shakes hands with mom, dad and Alice.

I notice just a hint of pale pink blush spread across her cheeks and there goes my heart again.

Bella attempts to get back into waitress mode by telling us about the house specials but my mother definitely has other plans.

"Oh, so tell me Penny slash Bella. How long have you and Sheldon slash Edward known each other," she asks with a definite gleam in her eye.

I can already see the wheels turning in my mother's head.

Bella shakes her head and chuckles, "Oh Mrs. Cullen, don't get the wedding invitation printed just yet. I don't really know Edward. We just ran into each other about a week ago . . ."

Just as Bella starts to retell the story of how we met, she is interrupted by one of her other customers. Bella turns to her other customers letting them know she will be right with them. "Sorry about that folks, I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menu and be right back." With that, she walks to the other table.

Unsuccessfully, I pretend to read the menu all the while I feeling three set of eyes fixed on me. Trying to deflect the inevitable, I nonchalantly ask what everyone feels like having to eat and . . . silence. "What?" Fully aware I'm not going to win this battle, I retell the episode of the infamous Sheldon and Penny meeting. However, I leave out the part where I gave Bella my Dartmouth hoodie.

"She seems like a sweet girl baby boy. Why didn't you ask her for her number?"

"Mom, I'm leaving in a couple of days. Why would I ask a girl for her number when I'm leaving. Speaking of which . . ."

"Oh no you don't, don't try to change the subject young man," scolds mom.

Alice chuckles, "Ohhhh brother, you know you are in deep shit when she uses _young man_."

"Believe me mom. You're going to like this." I pull out an envelope addressed to mom and dad in my messy script. I tried to address the envelope the best I could. With my illegible chicken scratch that passing for handwriting, I knew I was destined to be a doctor.

Looking at the envelope still in my hand dad asks, "What is this son?"

"It's a thank you gift for everything you and mom have done for me. Please just open it."

Letting mom do the honors, dad hands her the envelope. She pulls the card out placing the folded paper that is inside the card on the table. Together she and dad read the thank you card. The card is one of those generic humorous thank you cards but the real gift is the folded paper on the table. She hands the card to Alice to read next. As Alice reads the card, mom picks up the folded paper, unfolds it, and, once again, she and dad read the paper. Simultaneously, mom and dad look up at me and then back down to the paper. They reread the paper once more . . . Neurological Surgery Residency . . . University of Washington Medical Center (UWMC) Neuro-Oncology . . . discipline . . . seven more years . . .

Again, in complete Esme fashion, mom screams, jumps up from her chair and locks me in one of her infamous momma bear hugs.

"You're coming home! You're coming home! Oh my goodness, I can't believe this. You're coming home to stay. Oh, my baby boy is coming home. Thank, thank you so much." Mom stops and steps back from me. In an extremely serious voice despite her tears, she questions, "Wait, you're not doing this just for me are you? Yes, I love you and miss you terribly but . . . is this really what you want to do?"

Dad reaches his hand out to mom. "Esme, come sit down and let Edward tell us all about it."

As mom and I sit back down, I look up and am met with her warm chocolate eyes fixed on mine. I begin to slowly smile until I see those warm chocolate eyes with the hint of twinkling golden honey fill with tears.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and please leave a review to let me know what you think. I would love to hear any comments or suggestions. Next chapter should be up in a day or two. Thanks again for reading.


	4. Chapter 4 Don't Say Goodbye

**A/N: **Here's the next chapter. If you read the previous version, there are some minor changes. Please enjoy and leave a review. It would make me so happy!

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of our pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

**Chapter 4** **Don't Say Goodbye**

When Bella realizes I'm staring into her warm chocolate tear-filled eyes she subtly turns from me wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie . . . _our hoodie_. I smile at the thought of our hoodie when my mind is invaded with a myriad of emotions realizing that my mother's happy tears have affected Bella do deeply. I smile again.

A few moments later she turns back with her pleasant waitress smile on her face. As she approaches our table, she positions herself nearer my mother and lightly places her delicate pale hand on mom's shoulder. "Mrs. Cullen, are you alright. Is there anything I can get you? Maybe, I could get you a glass of water?" Bella's attempt to help my mom only makes mom cry more.

"Oh Bella slash Penny," weakly laughs mom at her little joke. "Aren't you the sweetest thing ever! Thank you, a glass of water would be nice . . . thank you," sobs mom as she attempts to compose her emotions and slow her tears. "I'm just so happy . . . these . . . these are happy tears. I promise. My baby boy just gave us the best gift ever."

Bella looks to me with an arched eyebrow almost appearing to be silently scolding me for making my mother cry. After silently reprimanding me, she turns back to mom.

"Well Mrs. Cullen, I'm glad those are happy tears," softly rubbing small soothing circles on mom's backs. Returning to waitress mode, Bella asks, "Now, can I get anyone else something to drink?" She jots down our drink order. "Okay folks, I'll be right back with your drinks and to take your order." She looks to my mom, "And you Mrs. Cullen," shaking her finger at mom,

". . . no more tears. This is a celebration." She winks and smiles at mom as she walks away.

"She's a sweetie," smiles mom as her face morphs into a glare sharing the same arched brow as Bella. "So my baby boy, tell me, just how long you have known about completing your residency in Seattle?" scolds mom. All signs of happy tears gone. "I can't believe you didn't tell me or your father. We have been worried sick about this whole situation," she admonishes. "I knew it was strange that you hadn't heard anything. How could my brilliant son not be placed?

"Sweetheart, take a breath and give your baby boy a chance to answer," interrupts dad. "So son," turning to me, "completing your residency in Neurological Surgery at the University of Washington Medical Center, impressive, very impressive. That is a tremendous achievement Edward. I'm so proud of you son." Smiling at me, dad continues, "But son, you have no idea how worried your mother and I were."

"Thanks dad and, mom, I'm really sorry about lying to you. You have no idea how hard it's been keeping this a secret. Remember last week when we talked mom? I almost told you then. You were killing me with all your worrying and concern. I love you mom. I hated hurting you but I wanted so badly to surprise you and thank you for all you've done for me."

In the middle of my apology, Bella returns with our drinks. We talked the entire time she was away that none of us bothered to look over the menu. I've been to this pizzeria on a number of occasions and knew anything we ordered would be delicious. That's when it dawns on me. I've been here quite often over the past eight years and I've never seen Bella here. I'm positive that if I had I would have remembered.

As Bella places our drinks on the table, she comments on how much better mom appears and asks if we are ready to order. We look at each other and apologize that we haven't had a chance to look over the menus.

"Understandable, completely understandable. Well, if you're in the mood for pizza," she hums for a moment while tapping her pen to her lips, "I recommend the house special pizza. Definitely yummy," she states triumphantly.

I don't hear her recommendation as I am more focused on her pouty lips. I hear dad clear his throat. "Um yeah, yeah that sounds great." I agree with her recommendation even though I have absolutely no idea what it is. Dad turns to Bella and tells her the house special will be fine. Alice chimes in and orders the house salad with dressing on the side. I roll my eyes.

"Good choice Alice," as Bella arches her brow _again_ silently scolding me. Bella excuses herself to place our order. Nonchalantly, I pick up my beer and take a sip as my eyes follow her to the restaurant's kitchen.

"A toast to my big brother! Congratulations Edward, I really am so proud of you" crows Alice. We raise our glasses as mom, dad, and Alice shout congratulatory cheers. We click our glasses together before taking a drink. I laugh that I am celebrating one of the most important moments in my life with a glass of beer. Alice interrupts my thoughts. "Hey! Maybe we could share an apartment near the hospital. That would be fantastic. We haven't lived in the same house since I was fourteen years old," she playfully suggests.

"I'm sorry Alice but I've already made other roommate arrangements. Jasper is going to be doing his residency in Seattle too. We've sort of have an apartment already." I pick up my beer again to camouflage my search for Bella. I'm also mindful the moment I spoke the words _have an apartment_ I would be in big, big trouble with Alice and mom.

"Edward," whines Alice. "You and Jasper have been roommates for over six years. It's my turn."

"Alice, Edward doesn't want to share an apartment with his baby sister. And what do you mean you sort of have an apartment already," scolds mom. Yeah, there it is. Nothing gets passed her.

"Once we both received our residency assignments in Seattle, Jazz and I began to search for apartments on the internet. We found a couple that had potential. So a few weeks ago, Jazz flew to Seattle, checked out the apartments and put a security deposit down on a two bedroom near the hospital." Again, I sip my beer and survey the room. Bella was very busy waiting her other tables. The pizzeria is definitely bustling with celebrating guest.

"So baby boy, exactly where is this apartment? Is it furnished? What appliances do you need for the kitchen," interrogates mom. "I know you and Jasper don't have much. I was at your apartment. I know you got rid of most of your furnishings. . . Oh my goodness, I am going to be so busy when you get home."

"Mom, remember it's not going to be just my apartment. It's Jasper's apartment too. Please don't go overboard okay. You have free reign over my bedroom and my bathroom and, maybe, part of the kitchen but I'll have to check with Jasper about the rest. Sound good?"

Mom doesn't seem to be listening to me. She pulls out her phone and begins texting away.

"Sound good," I repeat. No answer. "Mom, who are you texting?"

Completely ignoring me, mom turns to my sister as she continues to text. "Alice, since you're going to be available this summer how would you like to help with Edward's apartment."

"Mom, please remember. It's not just my apartment. Jazz will be paying half the rent. It's his apartment too," I reiterate.

"I know baby boy. You have nothing to worry about. Jasper said he would be more than happy to let me furnish the apartment."

"Mom, who are you texting right now?" I ask as I hear dad and Alice chortle. "Mom!"

She stops texting placing her phone back in her purse. "I was texting Jasper. I congratulated him on his residency placement. I also reminded him that he only has a month before he will be starting his residency. And . . . did he really want to spend that month shopping for apartment furnishing and such. I may have also mentioned that I would be decorating your bedroom and I would be more than happy to decorate his room too. That way he could enjoy his vacation. He told me to knock myself out which I take to mean I get to do the entire apartment," mom smiles triumphantly.

Just as I am about to scold my mom for her deceitful tactics Bella arrives with the house special pizza and Alice's house salad with dressing on the side. I almost roll my eyes at Alice's order but notice Bella's arched brow daring me to say anything about her order.

"Here we go folks. Enjoy. Let me know if you need anything else."

"This looks delicious. Thank you for the suggestion." As mom begins to serve her reunited family, she turns her attention back to Bella. "So Bella, tell me about yourself. Are you a student at Dartmouth? What's your major? Do you live on . . ."

"Wow, slow down there Mrs. Cullen. One question at a time," giggles Bella as she holds her hands up.

I pick up a slice of pizza trying not to appear too eager for more information about Penny slash Bella.

Using a very poorly executed impression of the old movie star John Wayne, Bella begins to explain, "Well, I tell ya lil lady, no I don't go to Dartmouth." Her voice reverts back to her own. "I've only been in Hanover for just over a month and I've been working here for the last few weeks."

"That explains why I've never seen you here before," I announce louder than necessary.

She turns and smiles at me with her warm chocolate eyes. I couldn't help but smile back. Dad clears his throat and I look back at mom who knowingly arches her brow and smiles.

"So what are you doing besides working here," questions Alice.

"Mmmm, nothing much. I just work here. That's all."

"Are you planning on attending Dartmouth in the fall?" continues mom with her interrogation.

"No, just working here for now. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to be doing in the fall yet. Keeping my options open and all that ya know."

How can she not know what she is going to be doing in the fall I think to myself? What type of plan is that not knowing where you are going to be a few months from now. Once again, our conversation is interrupted by another customer. Bella apologizes, tells us to enjoy our meal and celebration before walking to her other table.

The rest of our celebratory lunch is a mixture of conversation, weird looks from mom and Alice, apologetic looks from dad and, of course, the casual glances in Bella's direction. Every once and a while, our eyes lock and a faint pale pink blush crosses her checks.

Dad motions for our waitress when we are all sufficiently stuffed with the house special pizza and Alice with her salad. She nods in acknowledgement and makes her way back to our table.

"You folks got room for dessert," she laughs knowing by the looks on our faces there will be no dessert.

In unison, we answered, "NO!" and laugh.

"Well then I'll be right back with the check. Would you like a box to take the rest of the pizza with you?" she asks in her waitress voice.

I shake my head yes knowing cold pizza would hit the spot later. She returns with the check and my box. Alice and mom tell Bella how much they enjoyed the Sheldon and Penny story. They mention how much they both enjoyed meeting her as mom wishes Bella good luck on her endeavors. Another faint pale pink blush crosses her checks as Bella returns the sentiments. Surprisingly, mom and Bella embrace in a goodbye bear hug. Then it's Alice's turn for a goodbye hug with Bella. Silly tears fill all three lady's eyes as if they are life-long friends saying goodbye for the last time. With a final goodbye, mom and Alice excuse themselves making their way to the lady's room.

Dad shakes Bella's hand telling her how much he enjoyed meeting her. Once again, she returns the sentiments.

There's an awkward silence until dad says he is going to take care of the check leaving Bella and I alone at the table. Not really sure how to describe my mixed state of emotions, I am not sure what to do or say. Luckily, Bella seems just as unsure until she breaks the silence between us.

"Well Sheldon, it was good to see you again. Thanks again for the hoodie. You broke it in just the way I like it," she laughs rotating her shoulders as if she was trying to get comfortable in the hoodie. "You have a beautiful family. Your mom is . . . your mom is something else you know but in a good way."

I laugh at her silliness but accurate description of my mom. "It was good seeing you again too Penny. By the way, my roommate explained the Sheldon/Penny reference. Very funny," I deadpan. Just as I step in to hug her goodbye, dad calls out that they are ready to leave. I look to see my family waiting near the exit door.

Bella and I look back at each other and, without a farewell hug, say goodbye. I turn and walk toward my family as Bella walks to another table. She looks up for a moment and our eyes lock. She smiles and her warm chocolate eyes sparkled. I smile back and mouth a final goodbye.

As we walk back to the rental car, mom and Alice are uncharacteristically quiet, solemn even. Opening the passenger door I realize I have forgotten my left-over pizza box.

"I forgot my pizza. I'll be right back," I flatly state. I jog back into the pizzeria just as Bella is walking toward the entrance with my pizza box in hand. Before I realize what I am doing, I walk directly up to Bella, gently cup her face with my hands and kiss her hello. Bella drop the pizza box as her fingers slowly weaved into my hair as she returns the kiss. The deeper and longer the kiss becomes the more she tugs at my hair. As we slowly end our kiss, we gaze into each other eyes, smile and, in a hush tone whisper goodbye. We both stoop down to pick up the left-over pizza box and bump heads. Bella hands me the box as I am held captive by her warm chocolate eyes with a hint of twinkling golden honey now sparkling with unshed tears.

One last time we mouth goodbye as I walk out the door and she walks back into the restaurant.

The car ride back to my apartment is silent. I stare out the window as the scenery blurs by while I consider the events of the day that had begun as celebratory day and has now turned to a day of unspoken emotions. The silence is finally broken when mom turns to me and quietly asks, "So baby boy, would you like to explain to me why Bella slash Penny was wearing your Dartmouth hoodie?"

A/N: Dun, dun, dun . . . silly cliffie I know. Please let me know what you think. If you like this chapter or don't (yikes but I hope you do) please leave a review and let me know what you think. I hope to have next chapter up in the next few days. Until then remember reviews are my drug.


	5. Chapter 5 Where Do I Begin

**A/N: Thank you so much to those who have taken the time to send me a review. Your reviews made my day, sincerely and truly. I have over 847 visitors and views but would love if some of you would leave a review too. It would put a smile on my face. Well, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you do : ) **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of our pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 5 "Where Do I Begin"**

I am thrown for a loop by my mother's rather startling but frank question. If I was standing up, you could knock me over with a feather. Shock covers my now pale face as I feel mom's glare. Through my peripheral vision I sense her glare only intensified as she arches her questioning brow. Oh no, the arched brow. I'm in for it now. I still haven't looked in her direction acutely aware how hard it is for me to lie to my mother.

"Yeah Edwwwarddd, why was Penny slash Bella wearing your hoodie?" teased Alice as she turns to face me joining mom in her interrogation. "Would you care to enlighten us as to why Bella, our waitress, a girl you said you hardly knew, was wearing your hoodie?" Alice bats her eyes as she continues her cross-examination.

My mind is racing a mile a minute attempting to come up with a reasonable explanation without mom and Alice making more out of my gesture than necessary. Suddenly it hits me, how does Alice know Bella was wearing my hoodie, _our hoodie_? For that matter, how did mom know? Admittedly, Bella did say she doesn't attend Dartmouth but lots of people wear sweatshirt from schools that they don't attend. Mom can read me like a book. She must have somehow figured out that I had not told the entire meeting Bella story. I thought I had detailed a convincing account of our meeting. Had I unknowingly given _our_ hoodie secret away? No, I didn't but that still doesn't explain how mom and Alice know that is indeed my hoodie. I thought back to our lunch. I didn't remember Bella mentioning anything about _our_ hoodie in front of my family but, Alice, Alice can be a scary little pixie at times the way she knows things.

The electric waves pulsating between my synapses and dendrites come to a shocking halt as mom scolds, "Oh no you don't young man, I can see those wheels turning in your head. I want some answers and I want them now. I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

I muster all my inner courage to face my mom and, not quite looking into her suspicious emerald green eyes, I speak. "Mom, we are in Dartmouth country. Everybody in the area owns a Dartmouth sweatshirt." Yeah, that sounds convincing but, for some reason, I feel guilty for deceiving my mom - I feel like that kid Ralphie in the Christmas Story movie when he lies to his mom about how he broke his glasses. I don't like keeping secrets from my mom but I am all too familiar with the inner working of that woman's mind; she is not going to let this go. If I reveal the truth about giving Bella my hoodie, she will blow my small gesture of kindness way out of proportion.

With an even higher arched brow, if that's even possible, mom coldly demands, "I will not ask you again young man. How. Did. Bella. Get. Your. Sweatshirt?"

I'm not a child I'm a grown man, a doctor for fuck sake. I will not be intimidated by the way mom punctuated each word. I'm not going to let my _mommy_ manipulate me so I begin to speak. "Mom, I'm a grown man. I'm not a . . ." but before I can finish dad interrupts.

"Son, just answer the question. Do you not know your mother at all? She is one relentless woman when she is on a mission _and_ she is on a mission. To be honest, I'd like to know how Bella came into possession of said hoodie too," snickers dad.

With a reluctant sigh, I hang my head in utter defeat; I am resigned to the fact that I have no other choice but to tell the entire story, well not my entire story. Before I answer mom's question, I do have a small question for mom and Alice.

"Fine, I promise to tell you everything but before I do I want to know how you," pointing between mom and Alice " . . . knew that that was my hoodie."

Mom laughs triumphantly. "I KNEW IT! Alice, didn't' I tell you that that was Edward's sweatshirt. I knew it."

"Answer the question mom. How did you know?"

"Alright, alright calm down. Well, as Bella served us I noticed a faded paint stain on her right sleeve. The stain was the same color as your bedroom walls. Annnd, the paint stain was in the same spot where _you_ had gotten a paint stain. Remember? It was on one of my visits and you wouldn't let me redecorated your hideous apartment so I painted instead. I had that exact shade of green specially mixed for your bedroom to offset your hideous curtains and bedding. Oh my goodness, that room was an eyesore but I digress." She shakes her head in utter distain thinking about my bedroom. "When you came in to inspect my paint job you accidentally rubbed up against the newly painted wall with your right arm. Remember now?"

"You can barely see that stain now; it's so faded but that doesn't explain how Alice knew."

"Silly Edward," giggles Alice. "Mom told me when we went to the lady's room. Oh yeah, we had quite a conversation about you and Miss Bella."

"And stop deflecting son. Answer my question," mom orders.

"Fine, I'll tell you. Like I said, we met at the bookstore. She did shock me when our hands touched." Mom smiles at that bit of information and gives Alice a subtle nod. "We were both shopping for hoodies. When we went to the counter to pay she was about eight dollars short. I offered to give her the money. . ."

"That's my baby boy," proudly interjects mom.

I shake my head. "But she declined the money. She said she would come back later. She said it was no 'biggie.' As she walked out, I followed her. That's when I offered her my old used hoodie free of charge. At first, she was hesitant and offered to pay for the used hoodie but with a bit of persuading she accepted my offer. End of story. Satisfied now Detective Cullen."

I smile knowing I have kept some small parts of the story to myself, Bella smelling the hoodie before she put it on or how she said she will take care of _our_ hoodie. I don't want to tell them that part of the story. That one small part I refuse to reveal is only for me, the part about how the hoodie will forever be only ours. Yeah, that one small part of the story is only for me. Internally, I smile.

Mom suspiciously eyes me once more before a wide grin spreads across her satisfied face. For the moment, she and Alice appear somewhat placated with the story.

"But I still don't understand why you didn't ask her for her number. She was such a sweet girl and absolutely beautiful even with that purple hair thing she had going on," whines mom.

Before I can respond, Alice explains Bella's choice in hair color. "Mom, it's the fashion right now to use unnatural hair colors as highlights or lowlights. And that deep purple Bella used worked perfectly with her natural hair color. I loved the way is shimmered when the light hit her hair."

For once in my life, I am glad that Alice has decided to dominate the conversation. I was glad that Alice's talk of Bella's hair enticed mom away from her original question. As my sister chatters on about various hair colors and styles and skin tone and shape, I close my eyes and thoughts of Penny slash Bella and _our hoodie_ and warm honey chocolate eyes and pale skin and freesia and . . . hello kisses and . . . goodbye kisses.

I feel the car pull into a driveway. My eyes open only to be met with concerned emerald green eyes staring into mine. "You should have asked her for her phone number," she whispers before exiting the car. I sit for a moment, shut my eyes and then pinch the bridge of my nose when warm honey chocolate eyes stare back at me. The eyes fade away into a warm sweet memory as I exit the car.

The next day flew by as I pack up the rest of my personal belongings. Well, to be perfectly honest, as mom packs up the last of my things because apparently I don't know how to properly pack.

"Oh no," I dramatically whine while I flail my arms above my head, "I'm only the valedictorian of my graduating class but am completely incompetent of packing a box. Dad, I am so sorry you wasted all that tuition."

Dad being dad just smiles and continues to read something interesting on his phone. He knows better than to go up against momma bear.

Waving hoodies up in the air, mom asks, "Edward, are these the hoodies you bought us?"

In all the Penny slash Bella hoodie drama, I had completely forgotten to give my parent's, Alice and Jasper their new Dartmouth hoodies. I hand one to dad as mom gushed how proud they will be to wear the sweatshirts. While Alice politely thanks me as she examines the size against her small pixie figure, she discretely tosses her hoodie into the suitcase. I laugh fully aware that that would be her reaction. Like I said, she wouldn't be caught dead in a hoodie.

On his way to the airport for a week's vacation with his family, Jasper drops by to return his key. He profusely thanks mom for volunteering to furnish and decorate our new apartment. He gives her free reign realizing anything she decides will be fine with him. He is cognizant the hospital's hours are going to be killer and would be satisfied with a mattress and blankets. Mom laughs and assures him that she could probably do a little more with the apartment than a mattress and blankets. After goodbye hugs and kisses between families, Jasper tells he'll see me in a week at our new Seattle apartment. On his way out, I toss him his sweatshirt. He holds it out, smiles and nods. Before leaving, he gives Alice a wink. She huffs rolling her eyes at him and mouths 'you wish.'

We eat an early lunch at a local diner before heading to the airport. As we pass the pizzeria, I am assaulted with images of Bella, a stranger I have only met twice. I wonder what is it about this captivating stranger that has invaded my every waking thought despite my dismal attempts to forget her. I am resigned that I am never going to see her again.

After the car interrogation, I am grateful mom and Alice haven't mentioned Bella or the hoodie incident again. I would be lying to myself if I said I was not extremely attracted to her. After all, we did have this electric cosmic connection. She was dazzling . . . her voice . . . her face . . . her smell. She simply dazzled and assaulted my senses. Despite my attraction, I had to stay in control. I can't catch myself of guard. I have a plan for my life and I can't risk deviating from that plan. That's just not who I am, I follow through no matter how difficult or challenging. More importantly, it would have been unfair to begin any type of relationship with her. I was leaving within the week and she had just settled, end of a story that never began.

The flight home is quiet. Mom and Alice want to sit together to map out a strategic plan of attack for the new apartment. Dad and I talk about what I can expect my first year of residency. After being fully schooled on first year, I feel mentally exhausted. I decided to sleep the rest of the flight. Apparently, once I start my residency, sleep will be a welcomed luxury. Reclining my seat, I plug in my iPod, hit shuffle and close my eyes. Random songs from my playlist attempt to lull me to sleep with no success. It's when I hear the first few notes of a Rick Astley song, one of my mom's all-time favorites, do I slightly smile letting the song carry me to sleep.

_"To tell the story of how great a love can be? The sweet love story that is older than the sea, The simple truth about the love she brings to me, Where do I start? With her first hello, She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine, There'll never be another love, another time, She came into my life and made the living fine, She fills my heart, She fills my heart with very special things, With angels' songs, with wild imaginings, She fills my soul with so much love, That everywhere I go I'm never lonely, With you my love, who could be lonely, I reach for her hand-it's always there, how long does it last? Can love be measured by the hours in a day? I have no answers now but this much I can say, I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away, And she'll be there"_

That is the first time I dream of Bella slash Penny . . . warm chocolate eyes with hints of twinkling golden honey. . . long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights. . . freesia . . . strawberry . . . hoodies . . . pizza and beer . . . goodbye kisses.

My sweet dream is invaded by a female voice informing passengers that the plane will be arriving in Seattle in approximately twenty minutes.

Ever so slightly shaking his head, dad leans toward me and whispers, "It's a good thing we sat together."

Yanking out my ear buds, I responds with sleep still thick in my voice, "Huh, why?"

"Let's just say I never knew you talked in your sleep," laughs dad.

"I do?" No I don't," I declare with a quizzical expression on my face still confused as to what dad is insinuating.

Dad laughs a bit louder this time. He shakes his head up and down, "Oh believe me son, yes you do and quite clearly."

"What did I say," I suspiciously asks.

This time dad laughed out loud, "Oh no son, I'm keeping that little bit of interesting information to myself. You never know when I might need you to do something for me. It's called leverage my boy, leverage."

Trying to be more insistent, "Seriously dad, what did I say?"

"Like I said, jusssst be glad we sat together. Trust me. You would not have wanted Alice or, God forbid, your mother to hear what I heard. You would have never heard the end of it. Now, that's all I'm saying on this subject." And with that enigmatic statement, he smugly returns his tray table to an upright position.

What did I dream about? What did I say? Thinking back to my dream, the only thing I can recall is Bella slash Penny . . . twinkling golden honey warm chocolate eyes . . . long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights. . . freesia . . . strawberry . . . hoodies . . . pizza and beer . . . goodbye kisses.

"Oh my God, fuck."

"Exactly!" laughs dad as our plane lands in Seattle.

A/N: Next chapter will be Bella's point of view of the story thus far. I referenced some phrases from Twilight. Hope you guys didn't mind. As always, please, please, please review. I would love to hear input. Good, bad or indifferent. "Where Do I Begin" by Francis Lai & Carl Sigman sung by Rick Astley


	6. Chapter 6 Breathe

**A/N: **Chapter 5 ends with Edward landing in Seattle to begin his new life as a resident. This is a perfect spot to get to know Penny slash Bella a little better don't you think. I love the numbers of those viewing and visiting my story, thank you so much. Thank you to those who are kind enough to leave a review. That makes me even happier!

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of our pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 6 Breathe**

**BPOV - **_** About a month and half before the hoodie incident at the Dartmouth bookstore.**_

"Now tell me Miss Swan, what kind of waitressing experience do you have?"

I hesitate for a brief moment before I answer the restaurant manager's question. I'm usually not this jittery during an interview but I need this part time job. I'm running a tad low on funds and trying my hardest not to touch what I have left of my small inheritance.

"Well, let me think." I purse my lips. "When I was in high school I worked part-time at a diner. I've been a hostess, a runner, a bus boy and a waitress. Oh, and I worked at One-Eyed Pete as a cocktail waitress before Pete started training me as a bartender. Pete's a beer and wine kinda place, nothing fancy like organic cocktails," I stifle a nervous giggle.

"Good . . . but I'm curious as to why you've had so many different jobs?"

"That's understandable. If I looked over my application, I would wonder the same thing." I concur. I hope the manager doesn't think I was some kind of unreliable flake with all the part time jobs I have listed on the application. "Believe me, it's not because I've been fired from a lot of places, it's actually the opposite. I'm a really good worker if I do say so myself. I'm friendly, a people person. I'm competent and more than willing to learn anything you wanna throw at me. I believe I got my work ethic from my dad. I can work any schedule you give me." I pause taking a deep breath after my rambling. I smile at the thought of my dad knowing he would huff at my compliment about his work ethic. "In college, I worked a lot of different part-time jobs to coincide with my class schedule. Sometimes a restaurant could accommodate my school schedule but sometimes they couldn't. So, I would have to find a different job."

The manager nods in understanding. "That clarifies the long list of part-time jobs. Good to know. Good to know. Since you've held so many different restaurant jobs, is there a certain job in the restaurant that you're interested in learning?"

I consider her question for a moment before I answer. "I'd love to work in the kitchen. I think I'm a pretty decent cook but I've only really cooked for a few people at a time. Cooking for a people-filled restaurant seems challenging."

"Your application says you have a bachelor's in Anthropology and a master's in Education. If you don't mind me asking, why aren't you looking for a position in your chosen field? Why do you want to waitress?"

I know the answer to that question before the manager has even finished her question. Almost every single person who has interviewed me has asked me the same question. "To be very honest, I worked extremely hard in college, extremely hard to maintain my grades and graduate on time," I emphasize. "Now, it's my time to relax and enjoy my life. I'm not ready to get a real job, no offense."

"None taken," interrupts the manager.

". . . and waitressing can be considered a job in my specialized field. My degree in Anthropology affords the ability to develop and nurture interpersonal relationships, I observe and evaluate social behaviors and develop cross cultural communication skills. So you see, in reality, I have a degree that makes me the perfect waitress," I declare with a satisfied grin.

"Impressive, Ms. Swan."

"I like waitressing. I like meeting new people and hearing their stories. It's rough on the feet and my lower back after a busy shift but I'm young." I shrug my shoulders. "I can handle it. I know at times waitressing can be chaotic but, at the end of the day, I can go home, soak my feet up and relax. If I have a bad day, I can start fresh the next. It's all good."

The manager smiles at my philosophical response. "This is family owned and operated pizzeria. My husband runs the business end and I manager the restaurant. I work with the staff and customers. We specialize in homemade pizza but we do have a small menu which features lunch and dinner plates, salads, soups and desserts. If I gave you a menu to take home, do you think you could learn the menu by Wednesday?"

"Wednesday? Do I have the job," I excitedly question.

"Yes you do. For now, I can offer you about twenty five hours a week. After graduation, business tends to slow a bit. We mostly get the locals after the college kids go home for the summer. If we're busy and you're not scheduled, I may give you a call and ask you to help out. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, feel free to call me anytime you need some extra help." A Cheshire cat grin crosses my face. "Thank you so much. I appreciate the offer." Relief flooded my entire body knowing I now have a paying job again even my toes tingle with relief and a bit of excitement.

"Now let's see," the manager continues with the interview, "are there any specific days you can't work?"

"No, no I can work any day any time. I'm available day or night," I smile.

"Do you have any questions you would like to ask me? Anything I haven't addressed?"

Having worked in so many restaurants and bars, I know the routine. "What about a uniform or restaurant shirt? Most restaurants have some type of staff uniform."

The manager surveys the room. "As you can see, we're not that big of a place," the manager states. "It's very casual here, everyone knows everyone. Most of our customers are college kids or the locals. My husband doesn't see the point in spending money on uniforms. He said if a person walks up to a table and says I'm your waitress why do you need a uniform." And now it is the manager's turn to laugh.

She stands and holds out her hand, "Welcome to Mi Piace Isabella?"

"Actually, I prefer Bella's and thank you so much. I won't let you down Mrs. Kelley."

"And I prefer Charlotte not Mrs. Kelley." She smirks. "I'll introduce you to my husband Peter when you come in on Wednesday, okay Bella. I'll see you Wednesday morning at 10:00 sharp. The door will be locked so just knock and someone will open it for you."

"Thank you Charlotte. See you Wednesday." And with that, I am once again a working stiff. I appreciate that she has given me this opportunity. Hopefully, with tips I'll be able to save up some much needed cash for my next trip.

Feeling pretty good about myself, I decide to take a leisurely stroll home. Currently, home is a single room rental with kitchen privileges. One of the advantages of living in a university town is there's usually single rooms or small studio apartments to rent. I travel light and don't need much room: a place to sleep, to shower, and to cook my meals. Being late in the semester, I'm extremely lucky to find an available room. The landlady, Mrs. Cope, informs me that the single room has recently been vacated by a student who moved to a larger place with her boyfriend. She shakes her head back and forth at the idea of the female student moving in with her boyfriend. I smile at her antiquated reaction.

Once I settle into my room, I give Charlie a quick call giving him the 4-1-1 on my current place of residence. I ask how he is doing and if he's eating healthier. I tell him all is fine with me. I love my dad Charlie and I know he currently is not a happy camper about my traveling alone. I figured a call every now and then wouldn't hurt.

The week after my college graduation, I told Charlie of my plans to zigzag my way across the country. I strategically packed my military style backpack, gave a very worried looking Charlie an uncomfortable hug goodbye. I was finally free, free to do anything I wanted and go anywhere I wanted. I knew I sounded selfish, and perhaps I was being selfish, but I wanted to start living _my_ life. I didn't have any set plans. I was just going to travel and discover America, maybe even the world. A few years ago, grandma Swan had left me some money in her will. I didn't spend one thin dime of my small inheritance. Dad was proud that I didn't touch a penny of my money. He commented how it was a sign of maturity for someone so young not to take the money and splurge, spend it unwisely. He thought I was saving the money for a rainy day but little did he know I had had plans for the money.

My first week at Mi Piace is indeed a chaotic. It's always hard getting use to a restaurant's routine, to find your niche in the flow of things. Even though the pizzeria had a casual atmosphere, there was much to learn. To me, the hardest part of my job is carrying the pizzas to the table. Depending on the pizza topping, some of those suckers can be mighty heavy suckers. However, one of the best advantages of my new waitressing job is the benefits. Near closing time, if a customer fails to pick up their order, the employees get to take the food home. Charlotte and Peter don't like food going to waste. For me, taking home a couple slices of pizza, an antipasto salad or a half-order of mushroom ravioli saves on my food expenses.

I've made friends with the small staff and socialize outside of work with a couple of the other waitresses. Once a week, Charlotte and Peter hold staff meetings after closing time. Charlotte says it is good for business to have employee input on business matters as well as employee morale but, truth be told, it's just an excuse to have a few laughs, grub on some free pizza, and share waitressing war stories.

I have been at the pizzeria for about a month or so and am feeling a little antsy to explore my new town. So on one of my days off, I lace up my high tops, grab my camera and journal to set out on my survey. I don't have any set agenda; I'm just going to go where my feet take me.

As I do in all the places I have visited, I take pictures of random buildings, historical sites and the geography. I scribble down my thoughts and reactions and descriptions in my journal to coincide with my photos.

As I continue my walk to no place in particular, I find myself at the entrance of Dartmouth. From where I stand, the campus looks so collegiate. I laugh out loud at my obvious description of the university.

"What else would an ivy league college look like," I say to no one in particular. From the main entrance, I take a panoramic snapshot of the main entrance before I make my way onto the campus. It was only when I step onto the campus that I notice the hubbub. Being a recent graduate, I notice the obvious hustle and bustle of the pre-graduation activities. There is a familiar brouhaha in the air that causes my thoughts to wander back to my graduation.

The feeling of graduation excitement in the air makes me a bit nostalgic about my graduation. I recall telling Charlie I didn't want or need to make a big deal about my graduation, celebrations and gifts, not really my thing. Since he wasn't permitted to buy me a graduation gift, he insisted that we at least go out to a low key non-celebratory dinner he joked and I conceded. We ate at the local diner and toasted my graduation with a draft beer.

I decide to treat myself to a Dartmouth graduation souvenir laughing at the irony of my no gifts policy. My gift to me will be more of a small reminder of my time in Hanover, New Hampshire rather than a graduation gift. I attempt to justify my spontaneous purchase. I saunter over to the campus directory, locate the bookstore on the map and make my way over to the store.

I peruse the aisles waiting for my souvenir to jump at me. I don't want to buy myself just any old random gift. I want the souvenir to be meaningful, memorable. Feeling sentimental, I am determined to get a souvenir that will instantly remind of the exact moment I saw it. After all, it is my graduation gift I internally chuckle. I begin to notice some students wearing Dartmouth hoodies. In particular, I fancy the green and grey hoodies. For some inexplicable reason, I am not only nostalgic about graduation but about home and the greenery and the grey clouded skies. That's when it jumps at me. I decide I will purchase that specific green and grey Dartmouth hoodie to remind me of home.

I wonder my way over to the clothing section of the store. Another shopper, a rather tall guy with unruly silly cooper bronze hair, is browsing the variety of hoodies on display. I begin my hunt for my green and grey hoodie. In my peripheral view, I notice that the other shopper is wearing a worn out version of the hoodie I want. I take a sly glance at his sweatshirt and attempt to match the design with the new hoodies.

Finally locating the sweatshirt I want, I happen to reach up at the exact same moment as the unruly silly cooper bronzed haired guy. As my hand touches his strong manly hand, a wicked electric surge travels it way all the way down to my toes and they curl.

A nanosecond later I cry out in pain, "Man that shit hurt! Hey, does that mean we have some sorta cosmic electric connection," I laugh thinking of my mother Renee's influence on me.

The silly unruly hair guy apologizes as he continues to pull down the hoodies apparently checking for sizes. He seriously lectures, "Well actually an electric shock is due to the unreleased static electricity that builds up in your body. It is not released until it has a conductive point, much like a capacitor."

Internally, I laugh at his scientific explanation of static electricity. He instantly reminds me of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory but so much more handsome than Jim Parsons. And those eyes, oh my God, those emerald green eyes that compliment his silly unruly cooper bronze hair. Oh yeah, definitely so much more handsome than that Parsons guy. Actually, upon closer inspection, I can wholeheartedly and honestly declare him to be the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on. Yup, definitely eye candy material.

"Okay, okay Sheldon relax," I placate.

"Sheldon," he asks with a confused look. "Who's Sheldon? My name's Edward."

Seriously, who doesn't know Sheldon and Penny? For Christ sake, you can find a rerun on television almost any time of day.

"Well hola Edward. I'm Penny." I laugh.

A/N: I promised I wouldn't repeat whole chapter but I did say I may overlap some events. I know most of this is a fluff but I think we needed some insight into our Bella. Please let me know what you think by leaving a review. I would love, love, love it. Next chapter up in a day or two and it will still be Bella.


	7. Chapter 7 Breathe part 2

**A/N:** Okay fellow Ff readers, hope you're enjoying the story so far. Since my last chapter post I have gotten over 1,550 views and 600 visitors. A big big THANK YOU TO ALL! A review would be yummy too. Now here's more of Bella's point of view. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 9** **"Breathe" Part 2**

I continue to laugh as the cooper bronzed cutie pie appears utterly confused.

He clears his throat, coming out his state of confusion, and stutters, "Well Penny, it is nice to shock you . . . I mean meet you . . . meet you. It is nice to meet you. Listen, I've gotta go. Enjoy your hoodie."

And with that, he begins to walk in the direction of the cashier. With my hoodie in hand, I follow close behind to the cashier. Of course, I laughed all the way thinking about how beautifully clueless he appears to be. As we stand in line for the cashier, he nervously turns and smiles in my direction. This allows me an opportunity for a much needed closer inspection of this jittery Sheldon. Upon closer inspection of his facial features, I am awestruck at just how stunningly beautiful Sheldon is. Don't get me wrong, he is still totally clueless but that doesn't deter from his absolute gorgeousness. In fact, his cluelessness kinda makes him even more beautiful if that was even possible. I let out a very unladylike snort as my mind has that One Direction song on shuffle . . . 'that's what makes you beautiful' because that _is_ what makes him beautiful.

I notice the contrast between his silly unruly cooper bronze hair and deep emerald green eyes to his pale luminous skin all which contribute to his beauty. He has strong facial features with a sharp jawline and prominent nose that seems to turn ever so slightly to one side. That slight nose imperfection is the only indication that this god-like creature is human. Nobody's perfect but Sheldon here comes mighty close in my book. And then upon even closer inspection, I notice what appears to be a day's growth of stubble and I am a goner. Growing up in the northwest a one day stubble is considered quite smexy, smoking sexy. Yummy, definitely yummy I giggle like a twelve year old One Direction fan.

Imperceptibly, I take in a breath but am unable to identify his scent. I'm more than relieved that he has no hint of one of those god awful cheap men's cologne, thank goodness. Those cheap colognes are an assault to mankind. His scent, however, is indescribable and uniquely his own just like his beauty. Yes, most emphatically, without a doubt, uniquely beautiful.

I am pulled from my Sheldon survey as he turns to me once more and offers to let me go ahead of him in line. Handsome and polite and smexy, definite perfection all rolled up in one nice big package. Suddenly, my mind and eyes wanders in another very inappropriate direction.

"Penny, since you have only one item, why don't you go ahead of me," offers Sheldon.

I giggle again hoping he can't tell what I am thinking at this very moment as I graciously accept thanking him for his gallant offer.

Moving past one day's growth smexy Sheldon, I hand the hoodie to the cashier.

"That'll be $69.99," announces the cashier.

Placing my small backpack on the counter, I remove my wallet and proceed to count out a stack of single dollar bills, my tip money. Pausing, I scowl and recount the stack of singles one more time before looking up to the cashier.

"I'm sorry man. I seem to be short about eight dollars. I'll come back some other time. Oh well, thanks anyway. . . Man, I really wanted a Dartmouth hoodie. Oh well."

Shrugging my shoulders, I put the stack of single bills back in my wallet; sling my backpack over my left shoulder as I start to head out.

"Um, excuse me Penny," smexy Sheldon interrupts. "If you don't mind, I could give you the eight dollars?" The offer comes out sounding more like a question than statement. "Really, it would be my pleasure."

"Oh Sheldon sweetie," Yeah Penny calls everybody _sweetie_, "that is so chivalrous of you but no thanks. It's okay. I can come back another day. No biggie." It isn't urgent that I buy the hoodie today. I'm going to be here for some time. I can always come back another day to buy my graduation present to me.

"But you just said you really wanted a Dartmouth hoodie. So take the money and buy the hoodie. Believe me I am more than happy to give you the eight dollars. As you said, no biggie," he mimics.

This makes me giggle again as I continue to decline his generous offer. He appears to be thinking about something when I once again start for the exit door.

"Bye again Sheldon and thanks all the same," I call out over my shoulder.

I feel his mesmerizing dark emerald eyes staring in my direction. My heart beat races erratically the farther I walk away from him. Oh my God, am I having a heart attack caused by the electric shock of one smexy Sheldon. I hope not but what a way to die!

"Penny! Penny wait," Sheldon calls out to me as I near the exit. "Penny!"

Just outside the book store door, I stop and turn toward him as he catches up to me.

"Since you won't take my offer of money, what do you think if I give you my very old very used sweatshirt," he offers as he begins to remove the sweatshirt. He implores, "Think about it. You won't have to make another trip back and you'll save about seventy bucks. It may be just a bit too big for you but please take it just the same." He seems to really want me to have his very old very used sweatshirt. I can't understand the urgency of his request; he seems almost desperate for me to have his hoodie so who am I to deny him.

"Oh Sheldon, you really are just too gallant. Thank you kind sir, I would be happy and most honored to take you up on your offer," I acknowledge with a slight curtsey. "I can see you're not gonna be satisfied until I accept your offer but . . . would you be offended if I at least paid you for the hoodie?" I can't just take his old used hoodie from this completely beautiful stranger, could I?

A scowl crosses his face but before he can respond, I let out a snicker.

"Scratch that. I think I knew the answer to that question even before I asked. And, the look on that beautiful face of yours says it all."

"You think I have a beautiful face?" he asks attempting to hide what seems like a sly smile.

Smiling, I take his _very old_ _very used_ sweatshirt. Before putting the hoodie on, I sniff his sweatshirt attempting to decipher his indistinguishable manly scent, nope not a clue. I smile at his emphatically indescribable unique aroma knowing how it only complements his smexy gorgeous being.

Absolutely uniquely beautiful but odd, I internally confirm, before I picking up my backpack and sling it over my shoulder. Taking possibly my last chance at getting closer to this beautiful man, I step closer and boldly place a thank you kiss on his cheek. I take a good whiff of his scent while I'm up close and personal but, as my lips touch his cheek, I instantaneously feel that same electric shockwave travel my body.

"Yup, definitely an electric cosmic connection," I nervously giggle like that twelve year old One Direction fan again. "Thanks again Sheldon. I truly do appreciate your kindness and I promise to take extra good care of _our_ hoodie," I declare in a more serious tone. With that, I turn and walk away causing my heart to again beat erratically.

He calls out, "Oh and Penny, my name is Edward not Sheldon."

Laughing aloud, I holler back even though I'm not a holler back girl, "Yeah, I know Edward. And my name isn't Penny it's Bella," I giggle as I shake my head continuing to walk away from smoking sexy Edward.

On my way back home, I occasionally lift the sleeve of _our hoodie_ and inhale; yup, there are definitely no words to explain it. Exhausted from my afternoon excursion, I decide to shower, eat a small dinner and veg out in front of the television. For some strange reason, it hurts to remove our hoodie; and when I did, rather than dropping it on the floor, I respectfully place it the bathroom counter. After a quick shower, I throw on a pair of yoga pants and _our_ hoodie. I convince myself it is sorta cold out but I know the real reason. I flip on the television surfing the channels until I see Sheldon Cooper on the screen and hysterically laugh to myself. Yeah, it definitely is a Big Bang Theory marathon kind of night.

I don't remember drifting off to sleep but that is the first night I dream of smexy Sheldon slash Edward.

The pizzeria is hectic. Family after family walks through the door for a celebratory graduation lunch. "Isn't Dartmouth an ivy league college, I question to no one in particular. "How is having pizza and beer for lunch any way to celebrate a graduation from Dartmouth?" Then I remember back to my own non-celebratory dinner and shake my head at my hypocrisy.

After dropping off a pizza at one of my tables, I walk over to my newest customers hearing a girl at the table say, "Oh, I think that's our waitress."

Suddenly, my senses are bombarded by an indescribable scent. My heart begins to beat erratically as I recognize that silly unruly cooper bronze hair.

"Good afternoon folks. My name is Bella and I will be your server for today." As I greet my customer, I move to the center of the table and began to hand out menus. I hope that no one at the table notices my shaking hands or nervous voice. Yeah, the twelve year old One Direction fan girl has returned.

As I hand out the last menu, a look of wonder crosses my face. I never thought I would see that man's beautiful face ever again. "Sheldon? Sheldon, is that you?" I lean in a bit closer to get a quick whiff of his scent. I needed a fix. The sweatshirt had lost most of his aroma. "It is you," I giggle.

I smile as I tried to assess if I looked presentable with what I am wearing. I had on _our hoodie_ with a pair of leggings and my purple high top converse that matched my hair.

"Hello Penny, how are you?"

"Her name is Bella not Penny," interrupts the girl sitting with _my_ smexy Sheldon. "And his name is Edward not Sheldon. This isn't The Big Bang Theory," she playfully corrects.

The older gentleman at the table smiles at me. However, it is the woman wearing a non to subtle and slightly mischievous grin that catches my attention. She is just as exquisitely beautiful as Sheldon only an older female version. I hope I look that good at age. Placing her hand out, she introduces her family to me. Politely, I shake hands with Mr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen and Alice Cullen, my smexy Sheldon's sister and I think _Pop pop fiz fiz oh what a relief it is._

I feel a hint of blush spread across my cheeks and my heart race as I shake Edward's electric hand. I compose myself and get back into waitress mode by telling the Cullen family about the specials. However, Mrs. Cullen seems to have other plans by the look on her face.

"Oh, so tell me Penny slash Bella. How long have you and Sheldon slash Edward known each other," she inquires with a definite gleam in those emerald green eyes of hers. I can almost hear those wheels in her head turning.

I shake my head and chuckle, "Oh Mrs. Cullen, don't get the wedding invitation printed just yet. I don't really know Edward. We just ran into each other about a week ago . . ."

Just as I begin to retell the story of how her sexy son and I met, I'm interrupted by one of my other tables. I apologize, giving them a few minutes to look over the menu and saunter over to the other table.

Unsuccessfully, I pretend to busy myself with my other tables as I inconspicuously eye the Cullen table. I watch as Mrs. Cullen and Alice or, should I say Briscoe and Curtis, seem to be interrogating an guilty looking Edward.

As the interrogation continues, Edward pulls out an envelope and hands it to his parents. Mrs. Cullen pulls out a card placing a folded paper on the table. I think it's touching the way Mr. and Mrs. Cullen both treasure the card as they read. Mrs. Cullen passes the card to Alice. As Alice reads the card, Mrs. Cullen picks up the folded paper and, once again, she and her husband read the contents of the paper. Simultaneously, they gaze up to Edward and then back down to the paper. They reread it once more.

Without warning, Mrs. Cullen screams, jumps from her chair and grabs her son with what can only be described as the mother of all bear hugs.

Even though I shouldn't have eavesdropping, I couldn't resist.

"You're coming home! You're coming home! Oh my goodness, I can't believe this. You're coming home. Oh, my baby boy is coming home. Thank, thank you so much." She stops taken aback. In an extremely serious voice, she questions, "Wait, you're not doing this just for me are you? Yes, I love you and miss you terribly but . . . is this really what you want to do?"

Mr. Cullen reaches out to his wife. "Esme, come sit down and let Edward tell us all about it."

My eyes fill with silly tears at the sudden realization that my beautiful stranger is leaving. Of course he's leaving, he just graduated. I left after my graduation. Why wouldn't he be leaving, silly Bella. As Mrs. Cullen takes her seat, I look away and am met with his emerald green eyes fixed on mine. He begins to slowly smile until I realize he has seen my tears.

Embarrassed by his discovery, I subtly turn away and wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie . . . _our hoodie_.

A moment later, I turn back with a pleasant waitress smile plastered across my face. As I approach our table, I stand close to Mrs. Cullen and lightly place my hand on her shoulder hoping she doesn't mind a stranger's concern. "Mrs. Cullen, are you alright. Is there anything I can get you? Maybe, I can get you a glass of water?" My attempts to calm her only set off the floodgates.

"Oh Bella slash Penny," she weakly jokes, "aren't you the sweetest thing ever. Thank you, a glass of water would be nice . . . thank you," she weeps as she hiccups to slow her tears. "I'm just so happy . . . these . . . these are happy tears. I promise. My baby boy just gave his father and me the best gift ever."

I give him my deadly arched eyebrow look. I silently scold him for making his mother cry. After sufficiently silently reprimanding him, I look back to his mother. "Well Mrs. Cullen, I'm glad those are happy tears." Back in waitress mode, I ask, "Now, can I get anyone else something to drink?" Taking the rest of the drink orders, I give them a few minutes to look over the menu. If I am being truly honest with myself, I need a few moments to compose myself.

Placing their drink orders on the table, I comment on how much better Mrs. Cullen appears. I then asked if they are ready to order. Looking to one another, they apologize that they haven't had a chance to look over the menus.

"Understandable, totally understandable. Well, if you're in the mood for pizza," I hum for a moment while tapping my pen to my lips in thought, "I recommend the house special pizza. Definitely yummy," I suggest triumphantly.

Edward agrees with my recommendation of the house special pizza. I notice Edward roll his eyes as Alice orders a salad.

"Good choice Alice." With another deadly arched brow aimed directly at Edward, I silently scold Edward again before excusing myself to place the order. Unlike me, some woman like to eat rabbit food.

Every so often I take a peek at the Cullen table. Well, not so much the Cullen family but more at Edward than the others. They appear to be enjoying their graduation celebration. At one point, Mrs. Cullen is texting as Edward scowls. Wonder what that's about. Then I admonish myself for being just a tad too interested in the Cullen table.

The chef calls me to say that my order for table seven's pizza is ready. I place the pizza and salad on the serving tray and head back to the Cullen's table.

"Here we go folks. Enjoy. Let me know if you need anything else," I say in my best waitress voice as I distribute the food.

"This looks delicious. Thank you for the suggestion," compliments Mrs. Cullen as she serves her family. "So Bella, tell me about yourself. Are you a student at Dartmouth? What's your major? Do you live on . . ."

"Wow, slow down there Mrs. Cullen. One question at a time," I laugh holding my hands up.

Edward nonchalantly picks up a slice of pizza as I speak.

Using a very bad impression of the old western movie star John Wayne, I explain, "Well, I tell ya lil lady, no I don't go to Dartmouth." Ridding my voice of the bad John Wayne imitation, I continue. "I've only been in Hanover for just over a month and I've been working here for the last few weeks."

"That explains why I've never seen you here before," shouts a surprised Edward.

I smile at him as he reciprocates the smile. His dad clears his throat as Edward eyes his mother who arches her brow and smiles knowingly.

"So what are you doing besides working here," inquires his sister Alice. I like saying _his sister_.

"Mmmm, nothing much, I just work here. That's all."

"Are you planning on attending Dartmouth in the fall?" questions Mrs. Cullen.

"No, just working here for now. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to be doing in the fall yet. Keeping my options open and all that ya know." Another of my tables calls for help, I excuse myself and walk away.

I spy the rest of the Cullen's celebratory lunch is a mixture of conversation, weird glances between Mrs. Cullen and Alice, apologetic looks by Mr. Cullen to Edward and, of course, Edward's casual glances in my direction. Every once and a while, our eyes lock and I feel a faint blush cross my pale checks. Mr. Cullen motions for me when they have finished with their meal.

"You folks got room for dessert," I laugh knowing by the looks on their faces there will be no tiramisu for dessert.

In unison, they answered, "NO!" and laugh.

"Well then I'll be right back with the check. Would you like a box to take the rest of the pizza with you?" Edward shakes his head yes. I return with the check and the pizza box. Alice and Mrs. Cullen stand as they tell me how much they enjoyed the Sheldon and Penny story, it was a pleasure meeting me and wished me good luck.

With another faint blush across my checks, I return the sentiments. Surprisingly, Mrs. Cullen hugs me goodbye. Then it is Alice's turn for a goodbye hug. This family sure does like to hug I think to myself. Silly tears fill in all three of our eyes as if we were life-long friends saying goodbye for the last time. With one last goodbye, Mrs. Cullen and Alice leave. Mr. Cullen gently shakes my hand telling me that he too has enjoyed our meeting; I return his sentiments.

There is an awkward silence until Mr. Cullen says that he is going to take care of the check leaving Edward and I alone at the table. Not really sure what I'm feeling, I'm not sure what to do or say. So I simply speak.

"Well Sheldon, it was good to see you again. Thanks again for the hoodie. You broke it in just the way I like it," I snort rotating my shoulders as if I'm trying to get comfortable in our hoodie. "You have a beautiful family. Your mom is . . . your mom is something you know but in a good way."

Edward laughs at my obvious uncomfortable awkwardness. "It was good seeing you again too Penny. By the way, my roommate explained the Sheldon/Penny reference. Very funny," he deadpans. Just as he steps to hug me goodbye, his dad calls that they are ready to leave. I look to see the rest of the Cullen family waiting at the door.

Edward and I glance back at each other and without a hug say goodbye. He walks toward his family as I walk to another table. I peek up for a moment and our eyes lock. A small shy smile crosses my face and his emerald green eyes sparkled. He smiles back and mouths goodbye; then he is gone. I feel sort of empty.

Walking pass the Cullen's empty table, I notice that Edward has forgotten his leftover pizza. I pick it up hoping to still catch him in the parking lot. As I reached the door, Edward is jogging back into the pizzeria just as I walk toward the entrance.

Before I comprehend what is happening, Edward walks straight up to me, gently cups my face with his tenderly firm hands and kisses me hello and, at the same time . . . goodbye.

I drop the pizza box slowly weaving my fingers into his silly unruly cooper bronze hair. His hair is amazingly soft. I could live the rest of my life with my hands weaved into his hair. With as much passion as I can summon, I return the hello slash goodbye kiss. The more intense the kiss becomes the more I tug at his amazing hair. As he slowly ends our kiss, we gaze into each other eyes, smile and whisper "goodbye."

Edward stoops down to pick up the pizza box all the while his eyes fixed on my tear filled eyes. I desperately try to memorize the kiss and the eyes.

One last time, we mouth goodbye as Edward walks out of my life and I walk out of his. I lift a sleeve to wipe the tears from my eyes only to once again be assaulted with his indescribable scent on our hoodie and I smile.

**A/N:** Lots of pop culture references and, sadly, I do not own any of them. I hope you enjoyed another chapter from Bella's point of view. If you liked this chapter, please leave me a small gift in the name of a review.


	8. Chapter 8 Together Forever dance

**A/N:** I'm so happy right now! My story has gotten over 1900 views! Okay, I hope you enjoyed getting to know Bella. I tried not to repeat too much of the story but I thought it was important to see the story from Bella's point of view. Now back to smexy Edward. This chapter is a bit longer than some of the previous chapters because I want to start moving the story along for a possible reconnection of B/E very soon. Enjoy and let me know what you think with a review : )

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

_This is where we left Edward at the end of chapter 5:_

_What did I dream about? What did I say? Thinking back to my dream, the only thing I can recall is Bella slash Penny . . . twinkling golden honey warm chocolate eyes . . . long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights. . . freesia . . . strawberry . . . hoodies . . . pizza and beer . . . goodbye kisses._

_"Oh my God, fuck."_

_"Exactly!" laughs dad as our plane lands in Seattle._

**Chapter 8 "Together Forever" [dance version]**

Feeling like a bear awakening from hibernation, I sluggishly awake arching my back while stretching my arms over my head and my legs toward the end of the bed. I groan as I hear my bones pop. I open my eyes to the ceiling of my boyhood bedroom and stare at really nothing in particular allowing my entire body to slowly awake. Dragging my legs over the edge of my bed, I sit up once again staring at nothing in particular. I run my fingers through my hair instantly reminded of Bella running her fingers through my hair as we kissed goodbye and I am instantly hard. Shaking off the memory, I stand with some difficulty making my way to the bathroom for a few necessary human minutes and to do something about my currently painful situation just from the thought of her hands in my hair. Once I take care of my situation, I nab a t-shirt from my unpacked suitcase and shuffle downstairs to the kitchen.

Sitting at the kitchen island, mom furiously types on her laptop.

"Morning mom," I mumble as I survey the kitchen for sustenance.

Looking up from her laptop, she laughs, "Morning? Baby boy it's almost one in the afternoon."

"One! Are you kidding me? I haven't slept this late . . . come to think of it I can't remember the last time I've slept this late. Sorry."

"Oh don't be ridiculous. You were exhausted. Enjoy sleep while you can because in a month you won't remember what sleep is. I remember when you father started his residency he would walk in the door, kiss me hello, eat diner, and knock out. Are you hungry?"

I nod as my stomach growls. "Is there any coffee left?"

"No but I could make a fresh pot. I can make you breakfast or lunch. You pick," offers mom.

"Actually, breakfast sounds good. If it isn't too much trouble, I could really go for some homemade strawberry waffles, a couple of scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and maybe some hash browns. If it's not too much trouble," I sheepishly grin at mom. I know she can't resist my crocked smile. After hibernating like a bear, I am just as hungry.

She rolls her eyes, "No trouble at all. Anything for my baby boy," playfully fusses mom.

"Dad at the hospital?" I ask making small talk while mom cooks. It feels strange to be home after being away at school for so long. I've missed home cooked food especially my mom's cooking.

"Yes, he needed to go in for a few hours to check on a patient but he should be home soon. So what are your plans before you start your residency, going to take a trip like your sister? I'm sure Alice wouldn't mind spending some time with you. You haven't really spent time together in such a long time. It would be nice to do some brother sister bonding," mom proposes as she works on my breakfast.

"Mom, I've got my month all planned out and it does not include going shopping with Alice," I whine like a child. "This week I'm relaxing at home and spending time with you and dad. So, if you want to do anything special with your baby boy," I bat my eyes at mom, "this is your week but remember I'm relaxing so don't go overboard okay."

"Yes sir," salutes mom before returning to my breakfast.

"Next week, Jazz and I are going to taking a trip to Alaska. We've been talking about a trip to Alaska for a few years now. When I get back we're going to settle into our apartment. The week before I start my residency I'm going to familiarize myself with the hospital, do some reading, and get as much sleep as I possibly can. I'm going to need to go shopping for some new work clothes. I don't have any suitable. I guess Alice could help me with that if she wants. Oh, I nearly forgot. What day is your little soiree?"

"Oh Edward, it isn't going to be a little soiree it's going to be a huge soiree! I have pulled out all the stops to celebrate my baby boy's graduation from medical school. We are having a ten piece orchestra and I hired the most fabulous catering service . . ."

I interrupted mom mid-sentence, "MOM! You have got to be kidding me. I don't need . . ."

And before I could finish mom snorted, "Oh Edward, do you really think I would plan a party like that for you. I know my boy. I was just teasing. The party is Saturday evening and it's going to be in the backyard. I want to enjoy this celebration so I _did_ hire a catering service, a bartending service and a deejay. To quote Alice, it's going to be very casual chic. Don't worry honey you'll have a great time. Oh and I order some of your favorite foods especially for you. Since the surprise has been ruined, don't worry about acting surprised. You were never a very good actor anyway. You're so easy to read. Everyone will see right through you," she winks before going back to her cooking.

Relieved I don't have to act surprised; I sit and enjoy my first cup of coffee. I inhale the coffee's aroma as I go over my plans for the month. For some strange reason, my thoughts go back to my junior year in high school. I remember reading _The Great Gatsby_ and how, as a young boy, Jay Gatsby had his life all planned out. He knew precisely what he wanted out of life and how to achieve it. For a moment, I feel like Gatsby. Early in my life, I had sketched out exactly what I wanted in life and how I planned to achieve those goals. I did a mental inventory of my checklist: graduate college - check, graduate medical school - check, medical residency - check. Marriage was next on the list but, for a brief moment, my mind wanders back to Bella. I recall her conversation with mom and Alice at the pizzeria. I thought about how _she_ had no set plans whatsoever, _"No, just working here for now. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to be doing in the fall yet. Keeping my options open and all that ya know."_

"Ta dah, there you go! How does that look for your first official meal back home?" asks mom proudly as she places several plates in front of me.

"Fuck mom, that's way too much food. I can't eat all of that!"

"I bet you haven't had a home cooked meal since Christmas. Now eat," she sternly orders in her momma bear voice.

"So, what were you doing on your laptop when I came in? Looking at porn mom, really at your age," I tease with a mouthful of scrambles eggs.

"Ha ha, you're so funny Edward. There is no way I would be looking at porn knowing your father would be home any minute. I always wait until he's home so we can enjoy it together," she calmly informs me.

I almost spit out my mouthful of food hoping she was kidding. I'm an adult. For fuck sake, I'm a doctor but no child wants to imagine their parents watching porn. Once again my mom has made me want to bleach my brain.

"I was ordering some things for your apartment. I love how you can order something online and then just go pick it up at the store. It's such a great time saver," she informs. "On the plane ride home, Alice and I came up with a few different layouts for the apartment and some color schemes. We're going over to apartment tomorrow to take some measurements then we're going furniture shopping. I guess it's a good thing you and Jazz are going to Alaska next week. That gives Alice and me plenty of time to get the apartment in some sort of proper living condition. I'm going to need to call the landlord to see if it's okay to paint the walls. Do you have the phone number or does Jazz have it? I'm also going to need your key and, oh, I think I will make a couple of spare copies too and . . ." Mom pauses only to take a much needed oxygen break.

"Mom, please don't go overboard. You promised." I protest as she pauses.

"Listen to me young man. That apartment is going to be your home for the foreseeable future. You will be at UWMC for the next seven year. You're not in college anymore. You are an adult and you will live like one. Believe me, you and Jasper will appreciate all my hard work when Alice and I are done with that apartment. Now stop fucking complaining for fuck sake, say thank you mom, I love you mom and finish your fucking breakfast."

"Thank you mom. I love you mom. Sorry mom." I've been home less than a day and mom's back in full momma bear mode. It makes me happy that she is happy. I know how much she has missed me and how much I have missed her. I, Dr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, am a bona fide momma's boy and proud of it.

After being away from mom and dad for eight years, I do feel like a child again especially sleeping in my bedroom that hasn't changed one iota since I graduated high school. Mom acknowledges that she had experienced the empty nest syndrome once Alice left for college and couldn't bring herself to changing mine or Alice's rooms. I hope being home permanently would rid mom of her loneliness, momma's boy remember.

On Friday, mom and Alice are frantic with last minute party preparations. Mom insists dad and I get out of the house because we will only be in their way. Dad takes the day off from the hospital so we could spend some quality time together; and, at the same time, stay as far away as possible from hurricane Esme and typhoon Alice.

All relatively close to each other, we decide to be tourist and visit Pike's Place, the Space Needle and Pioneer Square. I haven't lived in Seattle for eight years and I miss everything about this city. I love Seattle. I don't think I will ever tire of this city and, after being away for so long, I feel the need to reconnect. As we walk, I enjoy the fresh Seattle sea breeze. We talked about nothing and everything. Dad provides me with more insight as to what my life will be like during my residency.

By the time we make it to Pioneer Square, we're both feeling hungry. Dad recommends a local cured meats restaurant. There's a short line but, fuck the cured meats looked delicious, so we wait patiently in line continuing our conversation. Being a frequent customer, dad recommends the salami sandwiches. I order some salami, pancetta and prosciutto. As dad orders his sandwich, he thinks of mom and Alice. He considers that after a hectic day of party planning, they could probably use some relaxation time. What better way to relax than with some wine, cheese and cured meats for a light dinner. He places an additional order to go. Dad is right about the cured meat sandwiches. They are fucking delicious. I'm definitely coming back here again.

We are both quiet on the way home, reflective almost, until dad breaks the silence. "Edward, why didn't you ask that girl Bella for her number? Even I could see there was something, some kind of connection between the two of you. And don't think just because your mother hasn't mentioned her to _you_ that I haven't had to hear about her _every_ single night. Every night it's 'I love my baby boy but sometimes he is a fucking idiot' or 'that girl was just perfect for my baby boy even with her purple hair.'

"Dad you're right. She did seem perfect for me even with her purple hair," I attempt to make light of my feelings. "I would have loved to have known her but I was leaving the next day, starting my residency in a month. You've just reminded me what that's going to be like. And, on top of all that, we are on two completely different sides of the country. It wouldn't have been fair to either one of us and you know it. If she lived here, I definitely would have stayed in touch." I finally say it out loud acknowledging my feelings. I say what I have been denying since the first time I saw Bella slash Penny and smile at what could have been.

"You're right son. I'm sorry for bringing her up. It's just that your mom is driving me crazy with all this Bella nonsense." Shaking his head, he repeats, "You're right. I'll talk to your mom about it tonight. Hopefully, that will be the end of the discussion."

Early Saturday afternoon the caterers, bartending staff and deejay arrive to complete the final preparations for the party. While the final preparations are taking place outside, I decide to shower and dress for my party. Facing the showerhead, I shut my eyes allowing the water to wash away my pre-party jitters. Flashes of sparkling honey . . . warm chocolate . . . long brown mahogany hair . . . purple highlights . . . plump pouty lips . . . delicate pale hands in my hair . . . goodbye kisses. Painfully, I wash away the images knowing I am never going to see Bella again. I open my eyes releasing the images forever or for now anyway. When I returned to my bedroom, I shake my head but not really surprised as I spot clothes on my bed that were not there earlier. I'm sure mom didn't put Alice's ensemble together. Alice knocks on my door requesting that I hurry and get downstairs as some of the guests have begun to arrive. I take one last look in the mirror attempting to control my unruly hair but failing miserably. Giving up I make my way out to my graduation party.

The back yard is amazingly transformed. I really have to give credit to mom and Alice. They really did know how to throw one hell of soiree. By the number of lights covering every possible inch of foliage, once the sun sets the entire yard will be illuminated with an array of sparkling white lights. Each linen covered table is centered with a small water-filled crystal bowl with a glowing candle complimenting the sparkling lights. Along with the centerpiece, sits two bottles of dinner wine. There are two fully stocked bars at each end of the yard. I snicker at the deejay thanking God there isn't a ten piece orchestra in his place. In front of his turntables, a portable dance floor has been laid. Looking in the direction of the caterers, my senses are captivated with the mouthwatering aroma of some of my favorite comfort foods. Walking a bit closer to the food, I survey roast beef, rare I hope, some kind of gourmet four cheese macaroni and cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, and glazed carrots in some of the serving trays. Yeah I'm definitely having seconds and perhaps thirds tonight. Rather than serving cake for dessert mom orders my favorite New York style cheesecake with various types of fruits, toppings and whipped cream. Yeah, I'm a doctor and should know better but hell when it comes to comfort food I have no control. What the hell, it's my graduation party and I am definitely going to celebrate. I love my mom.

As more guests begin to arrive, I'm greeted and congratulated by some familiar friends and family and some not so familiar. Dad has invited some associates from the hospital and mom, not too subtlety, invites some of her friends and their daughters, subtle mom, very subtle. Alice, who has invited her friend Rosalie, is talking with one of the caterers double checking that all is running smoothly. I'm relieved when Jasper and my cousin Emmett arrive just before some of my old high school friends. Most of my high school friends arrive paired with their wives or girlfriends: Ben Cheney and his pregnant wife Angela, Eric Yorkie and his live-in girlfriend Maggie, Paul and his wife Leah, Sam and Emily, and James Hunter with Victoria. James and Vicki have been together since sophomore year of high school. My best friend from high school Garrett brings his wife Kate and her two sisters Irina and Tanya. All three of the blonde haired blue eyed women beauties definitely share a family resemblance. Emmett, Jasper and I appear to be the only single guys at the party.

Twilight sets as the sparkling white lights illuminate and the deejay's music plays softly in the background. With drinks in hands, we socialize near the bar catching up on everyone's lives. Ben proudly informed the group that he and Angela are having a boy. James and Vicki congratulate Angela as Vicki comments she hopes to be in the same condition very soon. Paul and Sam talk about the struggles of opening a family owned restaurant in this economy. Our conversations continued as we loudly joke reminiscing about the idiotic things we did in high school and college and how sad it is that we are all getting old. The women complain that they are not old. Gradually, just like in high school, our groups slowly divide into a boy's camp and a girl's camp. The men begin to talk sports while the women focus on Angela Cheney's pregnancy. Alice talks about the planning of the surprise party only for the surprise to be ruined by Edward's friend Jasper. Alice's eyes move in the direction of the culprit. Jasper hears his name and winks at Alice. Alice huffs. I'm having a great time catching up with old friends and, just for a split second, a sad thought of Bella crosses my mind.

Mom walks to the deejay's table and asks him to turn off the music for just a few moments. Using the deejay's microphone, she asks for the guest's attention. As the guest quiet, she thanks everyone for joining her family in celebrating her son's graduation and hopes they are enjoying themselves. She invites me to join her and it is my turn to speak as she hands the microphone over to me.

With thankful emotion I speak, "I want to thank my parents and my little sister Alice for this swanky soiree. All of you know how my mom loves to plan and throw parties. She promised not to go overboard and I am extremely happy to say she kept her promise. Everything is amazing mom." I turn to kiss mom on the cheek. "I want to congratulate my baby sister Alice on her graduation from NYU. Saying I'm proud of you doesn't seem like enough but I am so proud of you pixie." The guests clap as Alice proudly smiles and waves to the guests. "I would also like to share this little graduation soiree with my friend Jasper. He and I have been friends and roommates for the past six years and I know firsthand how much he deserves to celebrate too. Congratulations man." I lift my glass in his direction as Jasper does the same to me. "Thanks everyone for coming and have a good time. Now let's eat because that food smells mighty delicious."

I return the microphone to mom as she invites the guests to eat dinner. Everyone makes their way to the buffet as the deejay resumes playing soft dinner music.

I invite Garrett and his entourage of women to sit at my table. Garrett had attended the University of Washington and, like Jasper and me, will also be starting his residency at UWMC. As we eat, Garrett, Jasper and I discuss our respective residencies. Garrett sit next to Kate, Alice and Rosalie are sandwiched in between Emmett and Jasper while I sat between Irina and Tanya. We eat and talk over one another enjoying the meal and drinks and friends. Just as planned, I have a second serving of everything. I save enough room for my cheesecake for later in the evening.

Once dinner is over, the deejay begins to play dance music. Some of my friends dance as couples while others dance in groups. Tanya asks me to dance first then Irina and then Tanya again. I notice my cousin Emmett dances with Rosalie a few times before they head to the bar for a drink. Jasper requests the honor of a dance with Alice but each time she declines still angry that he ruined my surprise. I dance with my sister apologizing that my graduation from medical school had overshadowed her own graduation. She laughs it off and tells me not to be concerned in the least. She assures me she didn't want a party.

I question in shock, "You didn't want a party? Since when does the ultimate party girl _not_ want a party?"

"Since daddy bought me a new canary yellow Porsche Cayenne, that's since," Alice answers with wink.

"You got a Cayenne for your graduation and I got a party! No wonder you didn't seem at all upset that I was getting all the attention. And here I was feeling so guilty you dirty little pixie."

"Exactly," winks Alice as Jasper asks to cut in.

This time it's my turn to laugh as I tell Jazz 'no problem' walking away from a very surprised and angry Alice and very elated triumphant Jasper. Before I can make my way off the dance floor, mom reaches for me.

"Dance with me baby boy," as she waves her hand in the direction of the deejay.

I take mom's hand and walks to the center of the dance floor. Hearing the first few notes of the new song the deejay plays, I know instantly what song is playing. Having had more than a few drinks, all inhibitions are gone as mom and I begin to sing along loudly. This encourages some of the older guest to make their way to the dance floor and singing along as well to the eighties classic. I spot dad in the crowd shaking his head and laughing.

_"If there's anything you need, All you have to do is say, You know you satisfy everything in me, _

_We shouldn't waste a single day. So don't stop me falling, It's destiny calling, A power I just can't deny, It's never changing, Can't you hear me, I'm saying, I want you for the rest of my life._

_Together forever and never to part, Together forever we two, And don't you know, I would move heaven and earth, To be together forever with you . . ."_

By the end of the song, everyone is singing along clapping loudly at the end. Mom and I hug.

"Thanks for the dance mom. I love you. The party was perfect."

"You're so welcome my baby boy. I love you too. Now, I'm gonna say this only once and you will never hear it from me again. You should have asked for her number but what's done is done. Now move on with your plans."

For a few more hours, the guests dance and drank and eat again before saying their goodbyes. I've lost track of both Emmett and Jasper while I socialize with my friends individually. Garrett and his entourage find me talking to James and Vicki. I excuse myself for a few minutes to say goodbye to Garrett and to walk them to the door. I thank Garrett and Kate for coming and tell Irina and Tanya how much I enjoyed meeting and dancing with them. As the small group walks to their car, Tanya stays back a bit to reiterate how much she enjoyed the party.

"It was extremely nice of your family to invite Irina and me. We had a wonderful time Edward. Thanks again everything was perfectly wonderful. Umm, I know you're going to be busy once you start your rotations but if you ever want to catch a movie or just hang out to relax on your days off I would love to see you again," Tanya asks shyly.

For the briefest of moments, I stop before saying, "Thanks Tanya. That would be great. To be honest, I don't know what this first month is going to be like so I can't promise. . . "

She laughs, "Remember my dad's a doctor. Don't worry I know what you're in for. Just when you're free give me a call."

She smiles as we exchange cell phones and enter our contact information. Walking to the car, I open the car door for her. As they drive away she waves goodbye.

Walking back to the party, I feel a slight pain in my chest.

**A/N:** Please don't throw things. To the Edward/Bella purest, don't worry I'm a HEA kinda gal and we may see Bella next chapter if you're still with me after the Edward/Tanya phone number exchange. "Together Forever" sung by Rick Astley written by Peter Alan Waterman and Mike Stock


	9. Chapter 9 Where Do I Begin? remix

**A/N: **This chapter will move our story along a few months. In case you're thirsty, this chapter also has a small glass of lemon aide.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

**Chapter 9 "Where Do I Begin" [remix]**

**EPoV**

With about 15 minutes down time, I make my way to the cafeteria for a quick bite to eat. I pull out my cell phone noticing a voice message probably mom checking to see if I'd eaten. I peruse the prepackaged selections grumbling that none look as appetizing as mom's food. Yeah, I'm a momma's boy always have been always will be. Grabbing a turkey wrap and a bottle of water, I listen to the message surprised that it isn't my mom.

"Um, hi Edward it's Tanya?" She sounds as if she's asking a question. "I was thinking about you today so I just called to see how you're doing? I know you're really busy but I just wanted to say hello and see how you're surviving." I hear a nervous giggle as she continues. "I know it's been a few days but I wanted to let you know I really enjoyed myself the other night. Maybe . . . um . . . on your next day off I could . . . oh, I don't know . . . perhaps cook dinner for us or we could go out to grab a bite to eat. My treat of course since you paid for the movies last time." Again she sniggers. "Okay, so . . . um yeah . . . hope to hear from you soon. Okay, bye."

I shake my head at the sound of her insecure voice. Tanya Denali had recently been hired by a prestigious law firm specializing in corporate law. She once mentioned that the senior partners appreciated her confident aggressive approach to corporate law, an assertive force. The irony of her message is that she sounds anything but confident or aggressive. In fact, she sounds like a twelve year old girl talking to a boy for the first time.

Since my graduation party, Tanya and I have gone out a few times nothing serious, very casual. She initiated our first casual date by calling me just after I returned from my Alaskan trip. Since then, we've gone to the movies and out for pizza once. I had lost my appetite at the pizzeria brushing it off due to the lack of sleep. Our conversations usually centered on my day at the hospital, Tanya's latest case at the law firm or war stories of how our respective mothers dealt with being married to doctors in the early years. Being friends with Tanya is easy, comfortable really. She understands my life and all the sacrifices that go along with being a resident.

I'm astonished at how quickly my first year of residency has passed. At the start of July, I began my internship with a six month surgical rotation in General Surgery and now it's nearly the end of October. In January, I'll do a stint in neurology, neurosurgery, neurosurgical intensive care medicine and then neuropathology.

I never do have an opportunity to return Tanya's call. Finishing up an exhausting fourteen hour shift, I make my way home. All I want to do when I get home is take a long hot shower, eat a quick meal and sleep. Oh yeah, sleep sounds real good at the moment.

As soon as I get home, I head straight to the bathroom and turn on the shower. While the water warms, I drag myself to the kitchen and pop a frozen dinner in the microwave. My frozen dinner isn't the typical store bought hungry man kind of meal.

_The first week Jasper and I started our residencies; we were visited by the home-made frozen food fairy. Jasper thought it was funny as hell that mom had used her emergency spare key to sneak food into our freezer. I, on the other hand, did not see the humor in the situation. I was going to call mom demanding she stop coddling me; that I am a grown man and am more than capable of feeding myself. I had done while in college and med school. Always the voice of reason, Jasper pointed out a number of things to me. First, he reminded me that I had been away from home for eight years and mom was making up for eight years of missed mothering. I remember her admitting to experiencing the empty nest syndrome. However, I suspect Jasper was playing the guilt trip card to satisfy his stomach's own needs, that sneaky bastard. Second, mom's frozen dinners are a thousand times healthier and more tasty than anything we could buy. Third, we had been living on frozen dinners and fast food for the past eight years and he wouldn't mind a home cooked meal one single iota. Fourth, neither one of us could cook for fuck. Lastly and most importantly he emphasized, mom's food was fucking delicious and, if I said one single word to mom, he would tell her how I talked about a certain mahogany haired beauty in my sleep. Hum, maybe I did talk in my sleep. Jasper's blackmail worked. I never once mentioned the frozen dinners to mom. Jazz and his stomach, on the other hand, had no shame and would leave special requests on the refrigerator door which mom gladly obliged._

Returning to my shower, I shut my eyes allowing the stream of hot water ran down my weary face and body. Blindly reaching for the body wash, I squirt a dollop in my hand washing up my arms to my shoulders. I reached to my left shoulder blade massaging my tense shoulder muscles. I switch arms repeating the massage up to my right shoulder blade.

No matter how hard I try I'm haunted by my nightly visit of golden honey chocolate eyes . . . full plump lips . . . long mahogany brown hair framing her heart-shaped face . . . glistening deep violet . . . pale luminous skin . . . a breathtaking kiss . . . the faint scent of freesia. I blindly reach for my now hard rock cock in my soaped hand imagining Bella on her knees our eyes lock in a mesmerizing stare as her small delicate hand wraps around my cock. I hiss in utter pleasure. I became painfully hard visualizing her in front of me. She licks her plump lips; I groan. Her tongue swirls around the head of my rock hard cock licking my pre-cum and I groan again, my head falls back. She flattens her tongue on my tip as her soft pouty lips tortuously begin to kiss my twitching cock. Our eyes still locked. If I look away, I know she will vanish. She runs her soft velvet tongue up my shaft before trapping my cock between her full plump lips. Engulfed in her warm velvet mouth, I am in heaven. My hands weave into her hair as she owns me, loves me with her mouth. Before I can cum, I lift her up urgently needing to feel her soft heavenly pale skin as close to mine as humanly possible. She tightly wraps her soft long legs around my waist digging her heels into my ass; I place my aching cock at the entrance of her warm moist heaven. I feel her pebbled nipples on my chest and needing to feel her even closer. Urgently, she lowers herself on me. With darkened lust filled eyes, we still for a moment, before our mouths and tongues hungrily attack. I back her up against shower wall as I relentlessly pound into her velvet warmth. My pounding intensifies as the walls of her pussy tighten around my cock; I spill all have into her. An indescribable orgasm invades my entire being as my legs begin to weaken. Erratically, I slide my cock in and out of her a few more times before we still. Holding tightly, we smile waiting for our crazy beating hearts to slow. I close my eyes to give her one last kiss . . . and she's gone.

At the hospital, my hectic daily routine doesn't allow my mind to wander in her direction and, for that, I am definitely grateful. When it comes to my medical career, I am unbendable, determined. I can't educe a time in my life when I did not want to be a doctor. Nothing or no one will deter me from that plan but, in the privacy of my shower, I'm a fucking pathetic idiot. Almost nightly, I jack off in the shower to a girl I've only met twice. Even though I'm resolved to get Bella out of my head, I know it's humanly impossible to forget her no matter how hard I try.

The few casual dates Tanya and I have had have been a welcomed distraction from the stresses of my residency but they are only a temporary distraction. I begin to think about Tanya. I admire Tanya; Tanya with sapphire blue eyes and natural blonde hair. Her physical beauty pairs well with her confident strong personality except when it comes to me. When it comes to me, she turns into a giggling school girl. To the outsiders, anyone can see we epitomize the perfect successful couple. If I'm being honest with myself, she perfectly fits into my plans but doesn't and that is the conundrum. I'm fully aware that she longs for a different type of relationship than I am willing or able to give her. Then it hits me but, all along, I've known it. I'm not being fair to this woman. She was a good person. We need to talk. I'm captivated by the memory of a woman I cannot forget, won't forget. Yup, for such a smart guy I am a fucking pathetic love struck idiot.

Quickly dressing in a fresh undershirt and low hung flannel bottoms compliments of the laundry fairy, I remove my dinner from the microwave, grab a cold beer from the fridge and plop down on the sofa. I set the warm plate and cold beer on the table and pick up the remote. After masturbating in the shower, my body is relaxed but my mind is reeling. Surfing the channels for any mindless television program that will lull me to sleep, nothing catches my attention until I find a late night rerun of The Big Bang Theory. In my head, I hear Alice say 'this was a sign' but, in my current state of mind, right now I can't handle the bantering of Sheldon and Penny. I turn off the television eating in silence. Stabbing away at my food, I concede that letting mom cook did indeed have its advantages. My favorite comfort food of medium roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes and glazed carrots works its magic. With my stomach satisfied, I rinse my plate and place it in the dishwasher.

As I toss my empty beer bottle in the recycle bin, Jasper walks in mirroring my earlier state. He mumbles a 'hey' as he walks in the direction of his room. Shaking my head, I return to the freezer, select one of _his_ comfort foods and place it in the microwave before making my way to my room. I knock on his door calling out, "Jazz, there's a plate in the microwave if you're hungry," as I continue to my room. Without opening his door, he calls back, "thanks man." With our busy schedules, we've become ships passing in the night roommates.

In my room, I place my IPod on the dock and hit shuffle lowering the volume hoping the music will lull me to sleep. For a moment, I think about my friendship with Tanya, about how fucking pathetic I am for not asking Bella for her number, how mom was right that I am fucking pathetic and, last but most definitely not least, my thoughts are haunted by my beautiful Bella slash Penny. Just as I am lulled into a welcomed sleep, the fates decide to play a wicked joke on me, Rick "fucking" Astley. I don't know how or when but somehow, someway my mother is going to pay for this.

_" . . . With her first hello, She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine, There'll never be another love, another time, She came into my life and made the living fine, She fills my heart_

_She fills my heart with very special things, With angels' songs, with wild imaginings, She fills my soul with so much love, That everywhere I go I'm never lonely, With you my love, who could be lonely, I reach for her hand . . ."_

I am a man of logic and reason so, logically, my mind knows it is impossible to have these feelings for a complete stranger but my heart does not know of logic and reason. My heart knows something entirely different. Reluctantly, I consent that my mother is right on a couple of things. First, I should have gotten Bella's number. Second, I am a miserable fucking pathetic idiot; I add miserable myself. Thirdly, there is only one way to resolve my current state of affairs and, with that resound decision, I am succumbed by sleep.

Despite my lack of sleep, I wake earlier than usual the next morning anxious to get me plan in motion. The very first thing I do is to turn on my laptop. I quickly dress for the hospital, fill two travel cups of coffee for Jasper and me before returning to my computer. I search for the Mi Piace website in Hanover. Glancing at the time, I calculate that it is only 8:30 a.m. back east, realistically way too early for anyone to be at the pizzeria. So I add the phone number to my cell phone contacts. I am determined that at the very first opportunity, I will place a call to Mi Piace and ask to speak to Bella. I _am_ going to fix this. I am tired of being a lonely fucking pathetic idiot haunted by my idiotic mistake.

My mother raised a gentleman so I am also going to have to return Tanya's call sometime today. She is an amazing woman but she needs to know that we can only be friends. I feel guilty knowing I'm going to be giving her that 'it's not you it's me' speech but it is me.

When I work my shift, my entire focus always centers on my patients. I never permit any outside concern or personal problem counteract my responsibility to my patient. Today, however, I struggle to stay focused on my patients as my mind continues to wander knowing I will soon be speaking to Bella. Occasionally, I find myself smiling at the thought of hearing Bella's voice only to be brought back to reality by the senior resident clearing her throat.

"You with us Cullen or do you want to go back to sleep," she sternly admonishes.

I don't get a break until late in the afternoon but, rather than running to the cafeteria for a quick snack like I usually do, I rush outside to a nearby patio table. Being October, the metal bench and table are cold as Seattle gears up for winter. My heart erratically races as I pull out my cell phone reviewing my contacts for the pizzeria's number. I take a few deep breathes to steady my voice and heart as the restaurants phone rang.

"Mi Piace. Charlotte speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hello, I'm sorry to bother you but . . . um . . . if it's not too much trouble um . . . could I please speak to Bella for a few minutes. I mean if she's not too busy." Instantly, I realize my voice sounds a lot like Tanya and dread returning her call even more. Is this how she feels when she calls me?

"I'm sorry. Bella doesn't work here anymore. She quit about a week ago. Are you a friend of hers?"

At Charlotte's words, my hopeful heart crashes. I feel as if my heart is being ripped out of my chest; there is pounding in my ears. Stop, calm down. Think logically. Don't panic. Think. My eyes scan the exterior of the hospital as I quickly think of a response.

"Do you happen to have her phone number? I need to contact her. Do you know if she has moved?" I anxiously inquire but I'm sure Charlotte can hear the masked calm in my panicked trembling voice. "It's an emergency," I lie.

"I'm sorry. I can't give out personal information on an employee, past or present, unless you're on her contact list. Are you on her contact list?"

A defeated solemn 'no' was all I could say.

"I'm sorry I can't help you dear. Goodbye." And with those final words, she hung up.

Ending the call, I am numb not numb from the cold late October air but emotional frozen. I stare out at nothing at all forcing myself to accept that she is gone. I have no way of contacting her now. I don't know where she lived. I don't have a home number. She quit her job a week ago; she's gone I repeat to myself. Well, that's that. It's official. I, Dr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, am indeed, without a doubt, a fucking pathetic idiot. Before returning to my floor, I just sit. Bella and I together forever would have been pure heaven but I also have to face the fact that I am never going to see her again. Reluctantly, I need to file her away as a haunting memory permitted to only occasionally invade my sleep. I have to let her go. I have to get on with my life.

The next day I finally returned Tanya's call.

"Hey Tanya, it's Edward," I say in a monotone voice.

"Yes Edward, I recognized your voice," she giggles like a school girl and I wince.

"Listen I'm so sorry for not calling back sooner. The hospital has been hectic and by the time I get home I'm exhausted." I pause for a moment. "So I was . . . um wondering if your dinner offer . . ."

She xcitedly interrupts me midsentence, "Of course the offer still stands. I know how busy you are at the hospital. Yes, I'd love to make dinner for you. What's your favorite meal?"

For a second, I wave of guilty floods through me but I shake it off. "Please don't go to too much trouble. Something simple is fine with me. I'm off next Thursday if that works for you." I inform her.

"Next Thursday is perfect. Is five too early for you? Maybe after dinner we could watch a movie? Any movie in particular," she eagerly asks.

"That sounds fun. You pick the movie. Anything will be fine with me. So I'll see you Thursday at five okay," I confirm.

The following Thursday Tanya and I have Caesar salad, spaghetti and meatballs, garlic toast with tiramisu cheesecake for dessert. Not being much of a baker, she confesses she bought the tiramisu cheesecake at a bakery near Pike Place. Homemade or bakery bought it was still delicious. We watch "Argo" with Ben Affleck; I ask for a second helping of the cheesecake. That simple request seems to make her night. I feel a pang of guilt but shake it off.

**APOV/EsPOV**

"Mom, would you like to go downtown with me this afternoon? I need to checkout at some office spaces. I've been checking around and I'm interested in a couple of the offices near Westlake Center. They might be a bit pricey but I still wouldn't mind taking a look anyway. Maybe we could have a late lunch or an early dinner. I still have a couple of Christmas gifts I need to buy. Rosalie is so hard to shop for. She has everything!" Alice rolls her eyes. "I need to get something for Jasper too. Jasper's gift is gonna be tricky. If I get something too special, he'll know he's got me and he'll stop trying," explains Alice.

"Oh honey, who are you kidding? Jasper owns your ass."

"MOM! I can't believe you just said that to me."

Calmly, Esme replies, "Why honey? It's the truth and you know it. Speaking of which, do you think your brother has thought to pick up something for Tanya?"

"Probably not besides how many times do I have to tell you! It's not serious with them. For the millionth time, their relationship is just casual. He said he's too busy at the hospital right now for any kind of serious relationship."

"I need to remind my baby boy that your father and I were married the first year of his residency. Either way, dating Tanya may be casual to him but I don't think Tanya thinks it's casual. I'm sure she has already bought your brother a Christmas gift. He'll feel horrible if he doesn't have something to give her in exchange. I'm going to text him right now."

shopping w/Alice-will pick up something for Tanya-okay? – _mom_

Okay thanks – _baby boy_

Esme rolls her eyes at her son's quick noncommittal response. She tilts the phone for Alice to read his noncommittal reply. Alice nods in confirmation.

C ur on ur own for dinner tonite - spending $$$ w/Alice – _Esme _ _3 u_

: ( pick up something for me on your way home-anything is fine with me – _C 3 u 2_

Exhausted, Alice declares, "Believe it or not I'm done. Let's go put these things in the car and think of a place to eat."

"I'm with ya sister. My feet are killing me. What do you feel like having? I'm hungry. Seafood sounds good to me," Esme recommends.

"Ohhhh, how about Kells at Pike Place. Kells sounds delicious. Yum, crab cakes annnnd since I'm driving you can get a couple of beers," tempts Alice.

"Oh honey, that's a great idea. Seafood and beer. Kells it is!"

Fortunately, Esme and Alice miss the dinner rush and don't have too much of a wait. Alice asks if any tables are available near the windows for a view of the ocean and night sky. The hostess sits them near the window as requested before saying, "Your server will be right with you ladies, enjoy." Looking over the menus, they chatter about what they wanted to eat. They agree to share their plates. As Alice looks at the view and Esme texts her husband, their server approaches.

"Good evening ladies. My name is Bella. I'll . . ."

Before she can finish, Esme and Alice let out an ear piercing scream, "PENNY!"

**A/N:** Okay, so that was my first lemon. I'm moving the story along. Let me know what you think. I know the Tanya bashing is coming so let me have it. Duck and cover lol. "Where Do I Begin" sung by Rick Astley and written by Francis Lai and Carl Sigman. I don't own Kells Irish Restaurant and Pub at Pike Place but love to eat there!


	10. Chapter 10 Dial My Number

**A/N: **I knew some Bella/Edward purists were going to throw things but I beg you to remember I'm a HEA gal. Every story has to have some conflict otherwise there is no fun.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 10 "Dial My Number"**

**BPoV**

Shuffling my menus back and forth as I head in the direction of my new table, I've yet to see the faces of my new customers. I see one woman with her head down apparently texting on her cell phone while the other is looking out at the night sky. The moment I welcome the women, they turn to in my direction astonished. With what can only be described as an ear piercing high pitched scream, I hear my pseudonym name Penny being yelled. Several things happen simultaneously. In a split second, I have gone from a confident waitress to a bumbling mess of nerves. Immediately recognizing Alice and Mrs. Cullen, my heart beats erratically. Like one of those old nineteen fifty's cartoon character, my eyes shoot in and out of their sockets as my mouth hangs open like a freshly caught wide-mouthed bass - My dad's a fisherman so believe me I know what a wide mouth bass looks like and, at this very moment, I know that's exactly what I look like. In a complete state of shock and disbelief, I freeze as my eyes quickly began to wander. They search the restaurant not looking for anything or anyone in particular. Who am I kidding? Of course, I am looking for someone in particular. The two women leap off their seats and I am entangled in the mother of all bear hugs by momma bear and her cub. Not sure how to respond to this reconnection, I wrap one of my arms around Mrs. Cullen and the other arm around Alice. At my greeting, they hug me even tighter. I am surprised they haven't started jumping up and down . . . and then they do.

Sensing I'm not being released from this bear hug anytime soon, I take the initiative of peeling myself off of momma bear and her cub otherwise known as Esme and Alice Cullen.

"Bella, it's so good to see! How have you been sweetie . . . How long have you been working here . . . . When did you get here . . . What are you doing here . . . Does Edward know you're here in Seattle?" Esme shoots question after question at me not allowing me any time to get a word in but momma bear's last question catches me off guard. My face flushes just hearing his name. Alice spies my dark pink flush that won't fade away and smiles coyly. Long ago I filed away that Sheldon slash Edward episode of my life in my internal happy memory box. Only when I need a 'pick me up' do I indulge a brief peek into those sparkling deep emerald green eyes and then I am reminded how hard it is to forget that man and his eyes and his electric touch and silk hair and soft kiss . . . and my blush darkens.

"Mom, we're causing a scene. Let's sit down." Noticing that many of the dinner customers are watching our little three ring circus of a reunion, Alice advises us to take a seat.

"Yes, sorry let's sit. Alice honey can you grab that chair from the other table for Bella. Come Bella," she pats the chair next to hers, ". . . sit next to me. We have so much to catch up on. I'm so happy to see you again. You . . ." There is a twinkle in _her_ emerald green eyes just like his.

"Umm Mrs. Cullen, haven't you forgotten something," I snort.

Looking confused, Esme counters, "What have I forgotten dear? Is your name not Penny slash Bella," she questions, "or are you going by another name these days?"

"No . . . no new name, my name is Penn . . . I mean . . . yes my name is Bella . . . yes Bella, but I can't sit and catch up on old times. Umm, momma bear have you forgotten that I'm your waitress? I'm assuming you and baby cub over here," I tilt my head in Alice's direction "came for dinner. You're sitting in my section."

"Oh honey, nobody cares about that. Now sit down and let's catch up," Esme persists.

I laugh at her persistence. "As much as I would love to catch up on old times the whole one time we met, I do most emphatically believe my boss would mind if I sat down to catch up on old times at a customer's table."

As our reunion calms, I desperately try to calm my still erratically beating heart thwarted that Esme and Alice are in fact alone. Despite my disappointment, I return to waitress mode, "Now if you ladies are ready to order I would be glad to take your order or do you need a few more minutes to look over the menu."

"Oh okay, if you insist on getting all waitressy on us," pouts Esme, "I guess we have no other alternative but to order. Soooooo, I will have a Blue Moon beer with an orange slice. My baby cub is driving so this momma bear here is gonna have some fun."

I take Alice's drink order and give the women a few minutes to look over the menus. I promise I'm not going anyway and will be right back with their drink order. In all honesty, I felt the need to assure Esme I'm not going to disappear. Walking away from the table, I turn back to see their two heads join like one of those magnetic bobble heads. They are quickly immersed in an animated yet hushed conversation. Every once and a while, Esme's head shoots in my direction before quickly returning to her conversation. Then it's Alice's turn to spy on me. In my entire life, I have never seen two people talk so fast.

At the bar, my boss mentions the reunion hoopla and I explain that the two women have just escaped from an insane asylum. We laugh at my humor but, looking back at the two women, I don't think I'm way off in my assumption. I then tell the real story for the uproar and, secretly, wish I can sat at their table and catch up on old times . . . catch up on news of Edward. My break can't come soon enough tonight.

I grab their drinks returning to their table. Using my best waitress voice, I place their beverages on the table, "Here you go a Blue Moon for momma bear and an iced tea for baby cub. Are you going to be ordering a honey jar or would you some salmon?" I joke.

With my reappearance, Esme and Alice quickly disjoin heads, straighten in their chairs, quickly browse their respective menus and suspiciously grin at me. Suddenly, the world feels off-kilter with these two lunatics. A few moments ago they were talking up a storm but now they are eerily quiet and calm, strange, definitely strange. I shrug off their weird behavior. After all, I don't really know these two women. For all I know, this _is_ their normal behavior. I take their orders returning to the kitchen sensing two set of death ray glares bore into my back. Not being able to shake off the sudden change in their behavior, I peek back at their table. Esme returns to frantically texting but, this time, Alice appears to be included in the texting conversation.

Hey baby boy r u almost off your shift yet? – _mom_

Yes just leaving. why? U never text me when I'm at the hospital. – _bb_

"Mom, tell him to get his ass here now if he knows what's good for him," demands Alice.

"Hush you. I know how to handle my baby boy." Esme wags her brow as the mischievous twinkle in her eyes returns. Alice smiles and sits back quite satisfied.

Alice & I r near the hospital. Come join us for a late dinner ok. my treat. I miss u – _mom_

What restaurant? – _bb_

Pike Place/Kell's pretty plz if ur not too tired – _mom_

"Don't give him an out if you're not too tired. Just tell him you need to see him now."

Sounds good but it has to be a quick dinner I have to be back at the hospital early tomorrow morning okay. I am really tired too – _bb_

YAY! I'll have food & drink on the table by the time u get here. Love to hear how everything at the hospital is going. Oh & I have a little surprise for u too : ) Text me when u arrive. I'll come out to meet u. l8tr 3 u - _mom_

Mom plz no going overboard w/xmas presents plz – bb

Oh hush, who said anything about xmas gifts! stop texting & get over here NOW young man ):

Sorry mom see u soon - _bb_

"Where did you learn to text like that mom," laughed Alice.

While tending a nearby table, I wink and smile at Esme. Hoping for a pleasant smile in return, I'm greeted with what can only be described as a rather smug self-satisfied expression. She turns and continues her conversation with Alice while she sips her Blue Moon. Hum, that's odd. I raise my eyebrows in confusion before bringing my attention back to my current table. Yes, odd happenings are most unequivocally afoot.

I pick up Esme and Alice's plates from the kitchen and head back to their table. As I approach, Esme retrieves her cell phone from her purse and places it on the table. She must have some very important business the way she is attached to the phone. I serve the plates asking if there's anything else they needed. I'm really playing off this waitress thing because inside I'm desperately trying to figure out a way of subtly bringing up Sheldon slash Edward without appearing too obvious or eager. I hope they're slow eaters. That should give me plenty of opportunities to revisit their tables like any good waitress, yeah right.

"Oh, this looks so good. I'm hungrier than I thought. Doesn't this look scrumptious Alice?"

"Yes, it looks delicious. After all our office hunting and shopping, I guess I'm hungrier than I thought. If it isn't too much bother, could you bring me another Blue Moon with an orange slice, a Dublin Coddle and a Hibernian salad," requests Esme in a overly sugar sweet voice.

I'm stunned by Esme's order. "Boy, you really are hungry as a bear!" I chuckle at my own play on words.

"I guess I am. Perhaps now is a good time to place my order for Carlisle too." Esme explains, "I told him he was on his own for dinner tonight but you know how most men are when it comes to food and cooking. It's fast food or starvation."

Bingo! There's my opportunity to bring up Edward without drawing any suspicion.

"How is Mr. Cullen doing? Good I hope." To be honest, at the moment I can care less how Mr. C is doing but I don't want to seem too obvious.

"Oh my husband is fine. He's still at the hospital . . . he's a doctor . . . did we tell you that the first time we met . . . I can't recall . . . anyway, when Alice and I decided to run some errands like I said I called and told him he was on his own for dinner but after seeing all this food what kind of wife would I be if I didn't bring him something appetizing to eat," Esme rattles on.

"I'm sure he would appreciate the kind gesture . . . and speaking of kind gestures . . . how's your son Edward doing these days?" Just speaking his name makes my heart races. "I haven't thought of him in ages." Okay, yeah I'm lying through my teeth but they don't know that. I hope my blush doesn't give me away.

"Soooo . . . you've thought of my baby boy have you. Hum, interesting."

And the smug looks return.

"Edward . . . hmmm . . . let me see." Esme looks pensively to Alice before answering. "Well my baby boy is finally back home in Seattle where he belongs . . . he's doing his residency at UWMC." Yeah, there's that self-satisfied look again. I look to Alice and she shares the same self-satisfied smug smile. Now I'm more than a bit curious as to why these two Cheshire cats are so smug. And, just as my heart rate has return to a regular beat, it's tearing at my chest when I hear that Edward is living in Seattle. Internally, I'm having a heart attack but, externally, I'm attempting to look cool, calm and collected praying to all that is holy that my face isn't betraying me. My face is always so easy to read.

"Oh, I'm sure you're just so happy to have your son home . . ." great, my voice trembles as I speak. If my blush doesn't give me away, my voice sure does. I cringe.

"Bella, I don't mean to interrupt you but I really am hungry. I hate to be a bother but would you mind terribly placing my order now." She bats her eyes at me.

Shit and double shit. She interrupts me right in the middle of getting information on Edward. Damn it all to Hades!

"Oh, I am so sorry." I'm flustered by her interruption. I thought that she had wanted to catch up! "Yes, I'll place your order right now. Would you like to place Mr. Cullen's order now or would you like to wait until later? I could place his order and have it ready by the time you're done. That way the food will be nice and warm." Since she doesn't want to catch up on old time, I'm back in waitress mode; I glower a bit.

"That's a perfect idea. You're the best waitress in the world Bella," declares Alice.

"Thanks Alice. I aim to please." I saluted in between my disappointment. "So Mrs. C, are you sure you want that extra plate and salad?"

"Oh most definitely and the sooner the better," she winks. "I'm just so hungry."

My mind is reeling as I return to the kitchen. That woman can go from zero to sixty in a split second. First, she wants to catch up and, as soon as I start talking, she interrupts me. Fuck this fuckery. My thoughts are going in a hundred different directions. I take a deep soothing breathe to keep my mind off the entire Cullen clan before attending one of my other tables.

For a moment, I walk behind the bar to fill an order and chat it up with Seth the bartender. He's a library full of colorful 'drunk' stories that always guarantees a good laugh. I enjoy talking to him and record some of his more colorful stories in my Seattle journal. His latest has me laughing louder than I should but I can't help it. The story also takes my mind of this whole crazy Cullen reunion. I wipe laughing tears away from my eyes and give Seth a quick one arm hug thanking him for his latest anecdote. He returns the friendly one-arm hug.

Picking up my drink order, I spy two very pissed off Cullen women glaring at me. The expression 'if looks could kill' quickly crosses my mind. My eyes meet Alice's narrowed eyes as her death stare track me around the restaurant. To be quite honest, I'm kinda scared to look into the eyes of Esme Cullen. At the current moment, that sweet woman appears none too happy with me.

To avoid the death glares of momma bear and her cub, I return to the kitchen and check on the orders. I notice Esme picking up her glowing cell phone and walking toward the restaurant entrance. From the look on her face, that must have been an important call. I gather up her additional order making my way back to her table.

For some unexplainable reason, my skin suddenly begins to prickle and my heart pounds out of my chest. My senses are overwhelmed with an unforgettable indescribable scent . . . his scent. The plates in my hands begin to tremble and the room spins as the blood drains my face. I stop and see Alice with the widest of all Cheshire cat grins. I'm frozen as her eyes guide me in the direction of Esme returning to her table . . . and following close behind . . . copper bronze unruly hair . . . emerald green eyes . . . . my beautiful memory . . . my Edward.

For a second time tonight, several things happen simultaneously. As I remain frozen in place with an erratically beating heart and trembling hands, Esme looks to Alice who looks to me. Alice's gaze then guides Esme's eyes to mine; our eyes lock. All my senses tell me he is here but I am unable to tear my eyes away from Esme in fear that he will fade away. As our eyes remain locked, she breaks our connection and turns to Edward. Her mischievous twinkling eyes look sweetly, lovingly into his as she tilts her head in my direction. She guides his eyes to meet mine. Everything is a blur but us. For an infinitesimal moment, he stops dead in his tracks our eyes locked before he takes three large strides in my direction.

Standing face to face eyes locked, his strong warm hands capture my face before crashing his lips to mine. I'm frozen but as he sucks my lower lip I melt return his hello kiss. Our tongues slowly sensuously danced together. I reach up weaving my fingers through his heavenly unruly hair. The longer the kiss lasts the harder I pull and tug. The more I attempt to be as humanly possible to him the louder he moans.

Plates loudly crashing to the floor finally burst our bubble. I faintly hear someone calling my name. Then I hear the muffled sounds become clearer as voices of customer catcalls, whistles and claps. Reluctantly, I open my eyes and sadly ended the most romantic spiritual kiss I have ever experienced. Edward opens his eyes, wraps his arms around my waist and simply smirks. I am officially a plate of wet noodles, a body absent of bones, a bona fide goner.

My boss appears from nowhere asking to see me privately. Reluctantly, Edward unwraps his arms and watches me follow my boss to the kitchen. I follow my boss but my eyes are planted on Edward. Oh God, please don't disappear.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen out there. It's just that . . ." I tearfully tried to explain.

"Listen Bella, obviously you didn't know your friends were going to be here. It's even more obvious," he snorts "that you want to visit with them. So just this once" he raises a stern finger, no not that finger, in my face, "I'm going to let you clock out now so you can catch up with your friends. But just this once got it. I'll have Lauren take over your table. Now go clock out and change."

"Thank you so much." My voice quivers. "I promise nothing like this will ever happen again. I'm sorry about the plates. I'll pay . . ."

"Just get out now before I change my mind."

I clock out and run to the staff room. I grab my purse and slip on my hoodie . . . _our hoodie_. His scent all but gone but I hope to remedy that very soon. I yank the elastic band off my hair and run my fingers through it. I take a few cleansing breaths before I making my way back into the restaurant. He's still here. He didn't fade away like a puff of smoke. A smug smile crosses my face when I find Edward pacing in the exact same spot I left him.

His pacing comes to a halt, "Nice hoodie Penny," he observes with his sparkling emerald green eyes. He reaches his hand out to me, I place my hand in his and we hold on tightly to each other as he leads me to Esme and Alice's table.

With self-satisfied smiles, Esme and Alice maneuver their chairs to make room for Edward and me. Edward grabs two extra chairs from an empty table placing them extremely close together. Once settled, we reconnect hands much to the apparent delight of his mom and sister.

Before one word is spoken, Lauren appears with Esme's order. "I believed you dropped this," she chuckles as she places the plates on the table.

"That looks scrumptious but I simply couldn't eat another bite," she remarks in her best Scarlet O'Hara impression.

"But Mrs. Cullen, didn't you say you were starving?" I'm shocked by her statement.

Laughing, she turns to Edward placing the meal in front of him. "Baby boy are you hungry?"

Light bulb on! With the palm of my hand, I smack my forehead as realization hits me just as hard. Sometimes I can be so dense. The strange behavior doesn't seem so strange anymore. I shake my head and narrow my eyes to both women.

In unison, I hear a high pitched innocent, "Whatttt?"

Still not having uttering a single word to Edward, I lean in his direction and ask accusingly, "Did you know about this Sheldon or are you as clueless as me?"

"Know about what?" Edward's tone and his confused look confirms he is most definitely out of the loop about this loopy setup too.

"We've been set up by momma bear and her baby cub over there." As I speak, I notice Alice has taken my cell phone from my backpack and frantically typing away.

"Alicccce! What are you doing with my phone," I screame trying to grab the phone away.

"I'm simply saving my brother from another six months of misery. I've enter his contact information in your phone and I sent him a text with all of your phone number and e-mail," she gloats. Just as she finishes her sentence, Edward's phone vibrates.

He grins as he reads the text before quickly texting a response and now my phone vibrates. I snort as Alice picks up the phone and reads _my_ text aloud. "Thanks. I should have done this six months ago – E." Alice appears to be responding to the text. I hear one phone chime and, this time, Esme answers her phone. Another phone rings and Alice reaches in her pocket to answer her phone.

"There. Now we all have Bella's contact information and she has ours. There's no escaping us now."

Between Lauren bringing the meals and the cell phone business, I still had not had an opportunity to catch up with Edward. I turn my chair to face his as Lauren again returns with Carlisle's take out. Reaching for the take out, Esme and Alice fake a wide yawn and exaggerate an arm stretch.

"Oh, I'm sooo sleepy. It must have been the beer. You know what a light weight I am," she snorts. "Alice, would you mind if we went home honey?" She bats her eyes. "Edward, I'm so happy we had this time to catch up," she laughs at her own joke before turning to Bella. "Bella, now that I have your number we are going to spend lots of time together but I hope you'll excuse me dear."

"Mom! You invited me to dinner and now you're leaving?" Edward fake outrage.

"Oh baby boy. Don't worry my treat. You stay, enjoy your dinner and," looking at me, "your company." Esme wiggles her eyebrows.

I feel a faint blush spread across my face at Esme's wicked gleam.

We all stand to say our goodbyes. I tightly hug Alice whispering a sincere quiet thank you. I then hug Esme even tighter and thank her. She whispers, "go get him slugger."

Edward and Alice punch each other in the arm. Edward hugs Esme. I can tell they are having a short private conversation and I try not to intrude.

"Have fun kids," Esme calls out as she and Alice head toward the exit door.

Suddenly, alone with Edward, my heart beats erratically again and, before, I can think of something to say, Edwards lips crash to mine. Yeah, talk is so overrated.

A/N: This was such a hard chapter for me. I really wanted to make Edward and Bella's reunion romantic but funny. Once I got started, I wrote a couple of different versions of the Cullen/Bella reunion but wasn't quite satisfied with any version until I completed this version. Let me know what you think. I've had over 2,000 views/visits but only 43 reviews. Sad face – please make it happy.


	11. Chapter 11 When I Fall in Love

**A/N:** Hope you like this chapter. It's Edward and Bella getting reacquainted. I wanted their reunion to be special. I would love to hear your thoughts. Please read and let me know what you think. Reviews make me happy!

**Chapter 11 "When I Fall in Love" [single version]**

Though our kiss has ended, for now, I am close enough to inhale her warmth; breathless, I breathe her in. She is all the oxygen I will ever want or need. I'm aware my darkened lust-filled eyes mirror the want I see in her eyes. Those golden honey warm chocolate eyes I have dreamt of every night for almost six months. Then her pouty lips morph into a wide grin and again I'm positive we mirror the same goofy grin. Simultaneously, we speak.

"This is ridiculous . . ."

"I'm so sorry . . ."

"No . . . no I'm sorry. You go first."

"No, no you go first."

And then we both laugh a very nervous laugh. You know that type of awkward first date kind of laugh when you want to say everything but can't say anything at all.

"Rock paper scissors?" She fretfully suggests.

"Really," I questions raising my brow in disbelief, "rock paper scissors? What are we twelve? All right, I'll go first." Extending my hand out, I reintroduce myself, "Hello, my name is Sheldon slash Edward but my friends call me Edward," I smirk. "And you are?"

Bella places her delicate pale hand in mine sending an electric shock wave to consume my entire being. Yes, our mysterious electric connection is as strong as ever.

She declares, "Hello. Nice to meet you Sheldon slash Edward. Hopefully, we'll be very good friends very soon so I think I'll call you . . . Edward." She warmly smiles into my eyes. "Edward, my name is Penny slash Bella but my friends call me Bella." She pulls her hand away from mine and winks, "Shocking."

Not wanting her to pull away from me ever again, I move in closer. "I'm hope you will consider me a _very close friend_ because after that kiss I would hate to think you go around kissing perfect strangers like that." Then it's my turn to wink.

Bella's eyes sparkling in delight but she doesn't speak and suddenly a deep red blush crosses her cheeks. I desperately hope our reconnection is what has brought on that beautiful blush. Her sparkling eyes move side to side as if she is thinking about something. _"What the fuck is wrong with me. I'm a strong, confident, intelligent woman. I fearlessly travel the country all alone but sitting here with this beautiful man, this gorgeous stranger, I can't control myself. I blush at his words and . . . his looks and . . . his touches. I can't even seem to control my erratically beating heart. . . Get a grip on it woman . . . Oh my Gog, not that kind of grip. Relax, breathe."_

As she pats my chest she nonchalantly declares, "Oh don't worry Edward, I always kiss perfect strangers like that."

"WHAT?" I yell out in shock. The thought of her kisses anyone like that but me sends a different type of shock wave through my body.

"Yup, I sure do and I'll tell you something else," Bells smirks as she inches closer to my face, "You're my first ever perfect stranger." Her smirk morphs into a soft smile as her lips softly touch mine as she breaths, "yup just perfect."

"Good," I stutter in a deep breath. I only slight pull my face away from hers not wanting to lose our connection. "Before we go any further, let me just say this," my tone and demeanor turn thoughtful as I continue. "That first day we met in the bookstore you had my head swirling. Like you said 'we had this cosmic electrical connection'."

She smiles and blushes; her eyes search mine again as she appears to be remembering her shocking words to me that day. _"Electrical connection! Oh my effing God, what this beautiful man is doing to me! Stay calm. I know my face is so easy to read. If he only knew what he is doing to me being this close to me . . . I'm dying to touch every inch of his beautiful body . . . to feel all of him right now. If that kiss is any indication of what that man can do, I can't wait for more . . . Calm, stay calm." _

"I'm basically a very serious, rational, logical, methodical kinda guy but meeting you . . . I don't know . . . I can't explain it . . . your purple hair and matching converse . . ." I ramble nervously. "See what I mean! I can't even put together one coherent sentence together thinking about you. Anyway," I shake my attempting to speak one cohesive sentence. "I wanted to apologize for not asking you for your phone number at the bookstore but like I said I wasn't thinking straight that day. I had so much on my mind and then meeting you just scrambled it more."

"I know precisely what you mean," she reassures me.

"I kicked myself for not asking you for your number but then the logical side of my brain took over. I knew I was leaving in a week. I convinced myself it was for the best. Starting any sort of relationship would have been unfair to you . . . and me with my leaving," I shrug my shoulder, "the point was moot since I didn't think we would ever see each other again."

Bella chuckles at my apology. "Oh Edward, we really are two peas in a pod. I know exactly what you mean 'cause that's how I felt. I don't know why I didn't think to ask you for your number. I'm a modern kinda gal but, honestly, you had my mind reeling too. You turned me into this clumsy awkward seventeen year old high school girl instead of the confident intelligent woman I am," she chuckles again. "I couldn't think clearly around you and by the time _my_ mind stopped reeling it was too late. You were gone. And then I thought, what were the odds of running into a perfect stranger again?"

"Exactly! I'm so glad you understand because believe me if I had a chance for a do over I would have gotten your cell phone number, I would have requested to be your friend on Facebook, I would have followed you on twitter, I would have . . ."

"Okay, okay I get it," She interrupts. "Well, thanks to Alice we don't have to worry about that anymore. I think you have all my personal information including my social security number."

Together we laugh at Alice's meddling but internally I thank that meddling pixie.

"Oh, that reminds me! I have to ask you something that has bothered me for some time now . . ."

"Can I get you another beer? Bella, what about you? Would you like something to eat or drink," interrupts Lauren.

Looking at his meal, Edward realizes he hasn't touched his food or beer.

"I'll have a draft beer and some baked chips. I'm not that hungry. Thanks Lauren."

"No problem. I'll be right back."

"Edward, please eat. I'm not going anywhere. We can multitask; we can eat, drink and talk. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good, I really am hungry. I just got off a fourteen hour shift at the hospital."

Bella's eyes flutter as she leans in toward me, "So what were you going to ask me before we were so rudely interrupted?"

I mimic her gesture and lean in closer to her. The proximity of our closeness has Bella's heart racing; I can sense it as she attempts to stills. I slowly move a few strands of hair behind her ear; she blushes. The tip of my nose lazily travels from her shoulder, up her neck to her ear and I stilled. With my lips to her ear, I deliberately inhale while one of my long fingers wraps around the hanging cord of our hoodie. At the intimacy of our connection, I stop breathing.

In a near silent smooth velvet whisper, I whisper, "At the bookstore . . . why did you smell _our_ hoodie?"

And now it was my turn. She closes her eyes for a moment as a small smile spreads across her face at the memory. She slowly turns her face in my direction and _my_ heart races. With her soft full lips, she lightly traces my jawline and my breathing deepens. With her lips to my ear, she deliberately inhales while softly placing her hand on mine; out fingers mingle together and an electrical shock travels my body. At the intimacy of our closeness, I fail to breath; sensing electrical shockwaves impulse throughout my entire being.

In a near breathless whisper, she reveals, "I needed to be close to you," she pauses, "I needed your indescribable scent inside me."

I close my eyes and moan at her double entendre relieved that I won't be standing up anytime soon. That could be quite an embarrassing situation in this crowded restaurant. Lauren's peppy voice interrupts our intimate moment and our connection is broken.

"Here you go Bella a draft and baked chips. Enjoy," She places the order on the table.

A flustered Bella thanks our waitress as I straighten in my chair finally eating a mouth full of my dinner. Bella stares down at her plate munching on a couple of baked chips. We glance in the direction of the musicians playing, the restaurant scenery and the other customers. We look at everything except each other. The sexual tension has vanished and is replaced with an uncomfortable silence until I entwine my fingers with hers. We both breathe a sigh of relief as we continue our respective meals in silence.

Once I finally finish my meal, I courageously break our comfortable silence. I set my fork on the plate and finally face her, "Well that was delicious. I don't think I could eat another bite of food. Now let's talk, _really talk_ and get to know each other. Okay with you?" I say in all seriousness as she nods in agreement. "Where should we begin," I ponder aloud. "I know! I'll ask you a question and then you can ask me something. How does that sound?"

"You mean like twenty questions?"

"Oh no," I shake my head, "I want to know everything about you and twenty questions isn't going to be enough. Lady's first?" I insist.

"Okay, so obviously you're wearing scrubs and your mother did mention you're doing your residency at UWMC, so let's start there."

I take a long deep breath before responding. "Well, I've always wanted to be a doctor even as a child. I remember when I was a kid I had one of those toy doctor sets. You know the kind?"

She nods in recognition.

"Anyway, I must have gotten it as a gift; I don't remember but I would play with it for hours. I would examine my other toys, my mom, and my dad. I loved to play doctor." I chortle. "Not _playing_ _doctor_ but I'd pretend to be a real doctor."

"Don't stress yourself, I get it. You weren't a perv," she reassures me.

"My dad was doing his residency when I was born. I spent most of my early childhood with my mom. I think that's why we're freakishly close." I shake my head returning to the subject at hand. "I think dad felt guilty about being away at the hospital so much. He didn't have much free time to spend with me. I remember sometimes he would come home, sit me on his lap and he would read to me."

"Oh that's so adorable."

"Yeah, it would have been if he read me Dr. Seuss or something like that. He used to read to me from his medical journals and then point out the relating pictures describing them with medical jargon." I laugh at the memory. "At the time, I didn't understand a word he was reading but I remember enjoying our time together."

"So you became a doctor because of your dad?"

"No, I don't think I ever consciously said I wanted to grow up to be a doctor like my father but, in some way, his reading those medical journals must have some kind of influence. Don't you think? I was also a bit of a strange kid when it came to medicine and doctors. I loved going for my check-ups and getting shots. I was always curious about medicine so I would ask the doctors and nurses questions after question."

"That's doesn't make you strange. That's adorable. I can imagine a little Edward interrogating the medical staff."

I blush at her use of the words 'adorable' and 'little Edward.' She squirms in her chair at her words. I smirk suggesting there is nothing 'little' about me as her blush deepens. "Okay, okay that's enough about me."

"For now," Bella interjects.

"It's my turn for a question. So, the last time we saw each other you were working at a pizzeria in Hanover. How did you end up in Seattle?"

A expression of solemnity instantly replaces her playful blush, "I had promised myself that after graduation, I was going to travel the country, possible see the world."

"What! You're traveling the country alone?" I interrupt in shocked outrage.

Frowning at my outburst, Bella ignores my follow up question continuing with her story.

What the hell is wrong with this woman! I couldn't fathom the thought of her ever coming to harm traveling alone, unprotected. My heart and mind races at what she has disclosed.

"As I was saying dad," she continues in a sarcastic tone, "after graduation, I decided to do some traveling. I just needed to breathe. I needed to do something that _I_ wanted. I needed to do something for _me_. I needed to live my life for once. Believe me," snorts Bella, "I know how selfish I sound but, believe it or not, I'm really not a selfish person."

Looking into my concerned eyes and furrowed brow, she continues with her story.

Bella shakes her thoughts away as she speaks, "As I was saying, I was born in this tiny minuscule of a town called Forks. It's about a four hour drive from here as a matter of fact."

"Yes, I know where Forks is. My parents have a cabin there. I've actually been there a few times during the summer months when I was younger."

Bella's eyes twinkle at my admission that I'd visited her hometown. "That town is so small that if you sneezed you'd miss it right," She snipes. "Anyway, my dad loved it . . . I should say loves it . . . he still lives there. He's never been a fan of big city life. My mom, on the other hand, quickly grew bored of small town life. I remember her telling me that she used to beg my dad to move but he wouldn't hear of it. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he can be a stubborn son of bitch." She pauses for brief moment. "FYI, I may have unfortunately inherited that trait from him. Just so you know for future reference." She gives me a playful wink. "As I was saying, I think I was about four or five when my mom decided she had had enough of small town life. She told dad she was leaving and she was taking me with her. My parents argued back and forth, declared their love for each other but agreed they could no longer happily live together. They knew that if they stayed together they would end up resenting and possibly hating each other. They both agreed they didn't want me living in a home with two miserable unhappy parents. That was the first time I had seen my father cry." Her eyes glisten as she speaks of her father. "He hugged me goodbye promising over and over to see me as soon as he was able." Bella subtly wipes the tears away unashamed at her emotions.

"Wow, that's rough but what does that have to do with you living your own life," I question in a cutting tone still concerned for her safety.

Noticing my tone, she raises a brow.

"Sorry," I apologize.

"So, mom and I moved to Phoenix. She had family there. We lived with my grandmother for some time. I learned a lot from my grandmother. She was great. By the time mom was able to get us our own apartment, I knew the basics of housekeeping. I could even do some light cooking," she declares proudly, "and the older I got the more my cooking improved."

"So you can make me a home-cooked meal?" I ask wiggling my eyebrows.

Again, she glares at my interruption. "Do you want to hear this or not? Anyway, the problem with my mom is that she doesn't think things through. She's very spontaneous at times. She's never really grown up either; I think that's way she grew so restless in Forks. I think the best way to describe my mom is she's a female version of Peter Pan. As I grew up, our roles seemed to reverse. I became more the parent and she became the child. I took care of our home while mom tried to find herself." She does air quotes with her fingers and rolls her eyes. "When I was about sixteen, my dad had a minor heart attack. Like I said, he's stubborn and downplayed the severity of the attack as not a big deal but I knew better. I told mom I was going to live with my dad."

"How did she take that bit of news?"

Shaking her head, Bella answers. "She whined 'but what about me?' I told her to grow up because I was leaving whether she liked it or not. I was going to go take care of my dad. Charlie, my dad's name is Charlie, complained and insisted he didn't want to interrupt my life but I'm stubborn too remember. So, I moved to Forks and what I found waiting for me was shocking. No wonder he had had a minor heart attack. He was living off pizza and beer for fuck sake, men." She rolls her eyes at me and eyes my dinner plate. "Anyway, for the last two years of high school I took care of my dad. Eventually, he returned to work a much happier _and_ healthier man. Despite his original insistence that he didn't need me, he loved having a chance to play dad again."

"But what does all of that have to do with you traipsing the country alone," I reiterate.

"Relax. I'm getting to that part. As my high school graduation neared, I began to hint that I would be leaving. Charlie thought I was talking about leaving for college but I was leaving to start living _my_ life. I didn't resent helping my dad. I love him. I would do anything for him, _anything_. I wanted to help him after he got sick but after raising my mom and caring for dad I needed some time to myself, some time for me to start my life. Does that make sense?" She seems to be questioning herself more than asking me.

"When I told Charlie about my plans we argued. I mean knock down drag out fights about my future. My dad played dirty. He called my mom. So now I was arguing with both my parents. On this one subject they were a united front. So after about a week of screaming, fighting and lots of soul searching on my part, I conceded. I told dad I would go to college but I made it crystal clear, to both my parents, that once I was through with college I was going to do some traveling whether they liked it or not." She took in a slow cleansing breathe as she finished this part of her story.

Placing her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands and batting her eyes, she asks, "So what were you like as a kid?"

"Wow. After your story, my childhood is kinda boring." I stifle a yawn as I answer. "Sorry, long day."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. You must be dead on your feet. Do you want to get going? I'm sure you'd rather be in a nice warm bed than listening to the woes of my childhood. I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm fine," I feign attempting to appear wide awake.

Once again she arches an eyebrow looking straight into my exhausted emerald green eyes, "Don't you lie to me. How long was your shift?"

How do women do that? Between mom, Alice and Bella, I think Bella has got them beat on that eyebrow thing. She makes me feel like a repentant child as I quietly respond, "Not quite fourteen hours."

"FOURTEEN HOURS! OH MY GOD EDWARD. Please go home. I am so sorry. Why didn't you say anything?" Flustered, Bella turns waving in Lauren's direction.

"What can I get you Bella?"

"Can we please get the check as soon as possible Lauren? We're kind of in a hurry."

"Yeah, I'd be kind of in a hurry too," Lauren looks in my direction smirking and Bella coughs to get her attention. "Oh, um sorry. The check's been handled by that lady who was here earlier but if you want to leave an extra tip I have no problem with that," jokes Lauren as she walks away.

"Bella really I don't . . ."

"Don't you dare say you don't mind staying! We are leaving right now whether you like it or not. Now up. What time do you need to be at the hospital tomorrow?" scolds Bella as she stands ready to leave.

She must really mean business because her hands are on her curvaceous hips. My mom and Alice both do that when they're angry too. "Six in the morning," I sheepishly answers fully aware of what's coming next. I wince.

"SIX IN THE MORNING!"

Yup, there it is. She storms toward the door shaking her head. With my head down, I follow close behind. I desperately want to reach for her hand but I know better than to push an angry woman. I'm surprised as Bella's hand reaches back mingling our fingers together despite her anger. I contently smile knowing she already owns me heart and soul.

Once out the door, we stopped unsure what to do next until Bella softly spoke.

"Edward, I'm sorry for embarrassing you in there. That was completely uncalled for. You are an adult. You don't need me telling you what to do. I apologize. After everything I told you about leading my own life . . ."

Without thought or hesitation, I crash my lips to her. My hands weaved through her soft mahogany hair as her hands weaves through my unruly mess. As if we have done this all our lives, our tongues dance as one. Our lustful moans are embarrassingly loud as our lips suck and nip and pull, own. Unfortunately, the need for oxygen forces us to part.

"Apology accepted."

"Listen, I want to see you again but I don't have a day off from the hospital until the day after Christmas. I'm usually at the hospital anywhere from twelve to fourteen hours . . ." I stop talking when she scowls hearing the number of hours I'm at the hospital. "but could I call you or text when I get home?" I beg petulantly.

"I'd love that Edward." Bella reassures me.

Taking her hand in mine I offer to walk her to her car. It's dark; I feel the need to protect her. I want to take care of her.

"I don't have a car. Seattle has one of the best transportation systems in the country. I take the bus." She state very nonchalantly. "And don't tell me I can't take the bus home. I have been taking the bus since I moved here. I'll be fine." She softens her voice as she attempts to comfort me. "I'll be fine; I promise."

"Please let me drive you home, I would feel . . ."

Despite my hesitation and concern for her well-being, I'm fully aware that arguing with this amazingly gorgeous woman will be futile, so with one last long hug and kiss goodbye that I don't want to end, I grudgingly walk away from Bella ignoring an inexplicable pull.

Once in my car, I send a couple of important texts.

_B_ - Please be safe – text me as soon as you are home – _E xoxo_

_E – _I promise – _B xoxoxo_

Thanks mom – I owe you one luv u - _bb_

Almost immediately, his phone chimes with a text.

: ) ur welcome luv you too bb – _mom_

I laugh convinced mom has been waiting with phone in hand for news of my dinner with Bella. My phone vibrates as mom sends another text. The text has been forwarded _and_ it's from Bella.

Momma bear - Thank you so much, I owe you one! ; ) – _Bella_

As soon as I park my car, I send another text. I'm too worried knowing she's on a bus late at night. _B_ - thanks for tonite. I had a great time. Can't stop thinking of you. R u home yet? – E

E - almost dad, now stop worrying & go to sleep. FYI I can't stop smiling thinking about u isn't that silly? I had a great time too. Now plz get some sleep. If u want u can text me tomorrow – B

_B_ – what do you mean if I want? I didn't want to let you go tonite! Glad ur home safe & sound good night I'll be dreaming of you – _E _

Too cheesy? – _E_

No – Now Go To Sleep! - _B_

As I settle in bed knowing Bella is home safe, my mind is befuddled with memories of Bella. I know I should be sleeping; five in the morning comes too quickly but thought of Bella have my adrenaline racing through my veins. Hoping soft music will lull me to sleep, I place my IPod on its dock and climb back in bed. I shut my tired eyes only to be greeted with by her warm sparkling golden honey chocolate eyes and this time I am content. Almost as if my IPod can read my mind, it plays . . . _"When I fall in love it will be forever, Or i'll never fall in love, in a restless world like this is love is ended before it's begun, And too many moonlight kisses, Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun When I give my heart it will be completely, Or i'll never give my heart, And the moment I can feel, That you feel that way too, Is when I fall in love with you Maybe i'm old fashioned feeling as I do, Mabye I am living in the past, But when i meet the right one, I know that i'll be true, My first love will be my last"_

I drift away and dream of Bella.

**A/N:** So what do you think? I would love to hear your thoughts. "When I Fall in Love" sung by Rick Astley Songwriter(s): Victor Young, Gerald Mosby, Ming Zhou Huang, & Edward Heyman.


	12. Chapter 12 Just Good Friends

**A/N: **Sorry for the long delay. Laptop was out of commission for a couple of weeks but, hopefully, all fixed now. There may be a couple of small glasses of lemony goodness.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 12 "Just Good Friends"**

**EPoV**

_Buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz. . ._

"EDWARD! Get up you're gonna be late man," yells Jasper from his bedroom.

_Buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz ._ . .

"EDWARD! Get. Your. Ass. Out. Of. Bed. What the fuck is wrong with you today. Get up! You're never late. You're gonna be late," Jasper hollers again banging several times on our adjoining walls.

"I'm up . . . I'm up," I mumble through a yawn. I drag my legs over the edge of the bed but still don't move. My eyes are sealed shut but at least I'm sitting up. My body knows it is 5:15 a.m. Like clock- work, I'm up and in the shower by that time every morning. However, this morning my body feels as if it has been run over by a truck. I feel as if I have just fallen asleep a few minutes ago. The maddening buzz of my alarm goes off again shouting for me to get up. Not wanting to hear that annoying sound again I reach over and hit the alarm. I intake a few deep breaths of the morning air reluctantly opening my eyes shuffling to the bathroom like a zombie. Reaching into the shower to turn on the warm water, I begin my morning routine.

Stepping under the warm massaging water, I tilt my head back and close my eyes . . . _chocolate brown eyes . . . twinkling golden honey . . . hooded lust filled kisses . . . long mahogany brown hair . . . glistening deep violet . . . full pouty lips . . . sucking and biting . . . moans . . . wanted you inside me . . ._ I lather up some bath gel washing my upper body. With the memory of last night and Bella, my soapy hands follow the warm water down my body to my awakening cock.

_A cool blast of air hits me as she steps into the shower . . . our eyes lock . . . she gives me a sly wicked smirk . . . warm water trickles down our bodies . . . her body glistens . . . she squirts a small dab of bath gel in her hands . . . traces small soothing circles on my heaving chest . . . her arms wrap around my waist . . . her fingers dig into my back pulling herself closer to me . . . she grinds her hips against mine . . . we moan in pleasure . . . 'let me help you with that' . . . her hand slides between us. . . I hiss as her thumb rubs the tip of my cock . . . her warm grasp moves up and down my shaft. . . she gloriously torturous me with her hand . . . soft kisses turn to a fight for domination . . . moans and groans . . . fingers weave through her hair . . .her leg hitches on my hip . . . she guides me to her wet warm entrance . . . I feel her pulsating with need . . . I twitch as I lift her up . . . she wraps both legs around me . . . her back against the shower wall . . . out . . . in deeper . . . out . . . in deeper faster harder . . . harder, faster . . . more . . . harder, faster . . . faster. . . _

A couple of hard knocks on my bedroom door rip me from my Bella induced sexual fantasy.

"Edward, you want some coffee?"

I groan at Jasper's interruption unable to finish the job at hand so to speak. Logically, I'm fully aware if I don't get a move on I'm going to be late - I don't like to be late especially when it comes to work. I bang my head three times against the shower tile before I yell back to Jasper.

"Yeah, thanks Jazz. I'll be right out," I moan.

The shower wakes me up but, if I don't immediately get some caffeine into my system, I will be one of the walking dead today. After dressing, I shuffle my way to the kitchen finding Jazz already pouring two tumblers of coffee.

"Thanks man. I really needed this today." I add two teaspoons of sugar and hazelnut flavored creamer to my coffee, inhale my addiction before taking a much needed sip.

"What time did you get off last night? I didn't even hear you come home," Jazz yawns as he searches for a frozen lunch.

"I got off about eight but I met mom for a quick dinner. When I got there she sort of had a surprise for me." The thought of Bella has me grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Fuck, it must have been one hell of a surprise by the way you're smiling. Did she buy you a new car for Christmas? 'Cause if she did, can I have your old one," he laughs stuffing his frozen lunch in his backpack.

"Nope, sorry Jazz, no new car. Her surprise was better than anything she could buy me," I answer as I take my turn to search for my frozen lunch.

"Hey, do you think momma Esme is too busy with Christmas stuff to bake me something for our Christmas potluck? Some of the residents thought it would be a good way of celebrating the holiday since we're gonna be stuck at the hospital."

I roll my eyes at Jasper's request. He knows damn well that mom would do anything for her two boys. Since he and Alice officially began to date a few months ago and his family was on the other side of the country, mom has semi-adopted Jasper. She insisted that he needed a family and someone to look after him despite the fact that I argued he was a grown man fully capable of caring for himself. Jasper, on the other hand, had completely sided with Esme if it meant homemade meals and free laundry service. So at the age of 27, I got a new baby brother.

"Jazz, just leave your request on the fridge. I'm sure she would be ecstatic to cook you anything you want. You know mom. If you asked her, she would probably cater the whole party," I laugh.

"So if you didn't get a new car, what was the surprise she got you last night," he inquires as we make our way out the door.

"Penny slash Bella," I simply state waiting for his reaction.

He continues to walk down the hall toward the staircase not saying a word, no reaction - perhaps he has forgotten about her. Thinking I would never see Bella again, I rarely mentioned her but that didn't stop _me_ from thinking about her and occasionally talking about her in my sleep.

Suddenly, he stops in his tracks. "Momma Esme got you Penny slash Bella for Christmas?!"

I smile a Cheshire cat smile as I recap last night's surprise. Jazz listens intently without saying a word as we make our way to the garage. It always seemed ridiculous for us to drive to the hospital in separate cars but having two completely different schedules there really was no other option.

"She didn't _buy_ her for me. Long story short Bella works as a waitress at Kell's Irish Pub. Mom and Alice were having a late dinner there last night. Bella was their waitress. Mom demanded I join them and when I got there . . . viola . . . Bella. She and I stayed to catch up. That's why I got home so late." I yawn before I continue my story. "Jazz, I would have stayed there all night talking to her. That is until she yelled at me and ordered me home to bed after I happened to mentioned how long my shift was." I chuckle at the memory her scolding and her concern.

Before Jazz starts his car, he rolls down his window and calmly asks, "But what about Tanya, Edward." He rolls up his window and drives away leaving me dumbstruck.

"Fuck . . . fuck . . . fuck . . . Tanya . . . fuck . . . fuck . . . fuck," I spoke to no one in particular as I get in my car. After seeing Bella last night, I had completely forgotten about Tanya. I never thought about Tanya the way my mind is constantly invaded by thoughts of Bella. No matter how hard I tried to forget her, everything about her was forever embedded in my thoughts. I have to solve this fucked up situation I've gotten myself into. My mom raised a gentleman and would have my hide if I wasn't up front with Tanya about my feelings for her. What are my feelings for Tanya anyway?

I like Tanya. She's a good friend. We get along and we have a lot in common but for me we are nothing more than friends, nothing serious. I enjoy her company. I was never serious about her as a girlfriend and I hoped I never gave her that impression. I stop to reassess our relationship. Fuck, aside from an occasional hug or kiss on the check good night, our friendship couldn't be labeled romantic. But, I would be lying to myself if I pretended that she wasn't romantically interested in me. Knowing I had long shifts at the hospital, she would kindly offer to bring me meals which I always graciously declined to her disappointment. On my days off, she would offer to make me dinner at her apartment. Fuck, this is going to get complicated. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I want to remain friends with Tanya but I have to be honest with her. My mind reels with the realization that I might indeed hurt her . . . Fuck . . . fuck . . . fuck. This is why I never really had a serious relationship in college or med school. Relationships are just too complicated . . . but . . . but that is exactly what I want with Bella, a serious relationship.

With my mind on autopilot preoccupied with my Tanya debacle, I am brought back to reality as I pull into the hospital parking lot. I rush into the hospital with a few minutes to spare, my phone vibrates with a text message.

_E - If u feel like I feel u didn't sleep much. Drink lots & lots of coffee. Have a good day - just so u know I was up all nite thinking of u - smiling sleepy face!_

Just as I finished reading the text, I receive another text.

_OMG, u do know this is Bella right? Fuck I nvr asked if there is someone who would be up all nite thinking of u fuck nvrmd Im text rambling sorry have a good day- B _

_Just so u know u kept me up all nite 2-yup dead on my feet but thinking of u last nite was worth it : ) _

_Yes I know this is Bella-sorry can't keep this up too much longer-shift starting-can I text u on my break? - E_

_Sorry to read u can't keep it up too long lmao ; ) I would love for you to text me l8ter – B_

_Woman ur killing me - ttyl – E_

**BPoV**

. . .SLEEP! . . . . . .SLEEP! . . . . . .SLEEP! I repeat over and over in frustration to myself as I pound my fist into my bed. The last time I looked at my alarm clock it was 2:12 a.m. It is now 2:17 a.m. Fuck, go to sleep Bella. My body is exhausted but my mind is wide awake.

I can't stop thinking about him; my mind is reeling with images of Edward. That gorgeous man is the explanation for my current state of non-sleep. If I didn't know he had to be at the hospital in about three and a half hours, I would call him and ask what the fuck is he doing to my head. In frustration, I hit the bed again. God, I can't stop thinking about that beautiful excuse of a man. I had finally come to terms with the fact that I would never see that beautiful man again. I had neatly packed away the memory of him but the moment I saw Edward at the restaurant and he kissed me . . . yup, all bets were off.

_Those lust filled sparkling emerald green eyes . . . that fuck awfully gorgeous cooper bronze unruly hair . . . those strong hands . . . jawline . . . velvet voice . . . My breathing deepens as I massage my breast imaging his hands on me. I close my eyes trapping my left nipple between my two fingers . . . his teeth trap and bite my hardened nipple . . . his tongue languidly licks the my nipple . . . moan . . . places soft kisses across my chest . . . more moans . . . traps my other hardened nipple . . . moans and so wet . . . While one hand continues to work my breast, the other slowly travels down my body causing my heart to race in agonizing anticipation. His thumb circles my clit with the most torturous pleasure as his long fingers strokes my very warm very wet pussy . . . wet curled fingers . . . exploring in out . . . harder, harder . . . faster, faster . . . faster harder . . . fuck yes . . . right there . . . right there . . . fuck don't stop . . . fuck . . . please don't stop . . . please, oh God . . . please . . . blinding stars and curled toes . . . sparkling emerald green eyes . . ._

As I wait for my heart to settle down, I think, if _that_ doesn't fucking get me to sleep, I don't what will. Yeah, well, to be completely honest, I know precisely what will do the trick . . . the real thing would be so much better than my hand I admit as I finally succumb to sleep.

The next time my eyes open, it's only 5:15 a.m. I've only slept for a total of three freaking hours. My tired bloodshot eyes scan the room settling on a crack of dim light coming from between the curtain and window. I contemplate going back to sleep, yeah, so not happening. Reluctantly, I drop my legs over the edge of my bed and slip on my raggedy old kitties. I felt like an old woman buying slippers but with the cold wooden floor of my current place of residency there was no other option. Besides, I love looking down at Hello Kitty every morning as I shuffle about my room. Kitty and I have one-sided conversations about the day's plans or work or Edward. I wiggle my feet when it's Kitty's turn to answer. Okay, don't judge because sometimes life can get a bit lonely.

As much as I love living _my_ life, I have to admit it does occasionally get lonely at times but I would not trade my life for anything in the world. I absolutely love visiting new places and meeting new people. If I hadn't visited Dartmouth, I would have never met that beautiful man Edward or his quirky family. They're great, weird but great.

Since I'm awake at this ungodly hour, I decide to splurge and treat myself to an early breakfast with lots and lots of copious cups of coffee. Perhaps I could explore Pioneer Square, take some pictures, do some journal writing and later do some Christmas shopping for Charlie. I don't hate shopping per se, I just despise the Christmas crowds. Being early and a weekday, I'm hoping the stores won't be too busy. Shopping usually tires me out. Perhaps, if I went out for a while, I could come home and take a short nap before my shift. I hop in and out of the shower and dress warmly for Seattle weather.

It's just before 6:00 a.m. and I figure Edward is awake. I send him a text thanking 'little miss busy body' Alice for the contact information.

Feeling all girly inside, I hope Edward has thought about me as much as I have thought about him last night. I take a deep cleansing breath to calm my sudden nerves and type. I reread my text. Satisfied, I hit send.

_E - If u feel like I feel u didn't sleep much. Drink lots & lots of coffee. Have a good day - just so u know I was up all nite thinking of u - smiling sleepy face!_

Just then I notice I've forgotten to include my name. My heart races as I suddenly realize Edward might have a girlfriend. I don't like the thought of _a girlfriend_ one single bit but what if he does. My heart aches at the thought of him with someone else. He wouldn't have kissed me like he did if he had a girlfriend. Would he? How would I ask him without sounding to obvious for information? I quickly send another message.

_OMG, u do know this is Bella right? Fuck I nvr asked if there is someone who would be up all nite thinking of u fuck nvrmd Im text rambling sorry have a good day- B _

My phone vibrates almost immediately. I'm relieved reading Edward's name on the screen.

_Just so u know u kept me up all nite 2-yup dead on my feet but thinking of u last nite was worth it : ) _

A second text follows close behind.

_Yes I know this is Bella-sorry can't keep this up too much longer-shift starting-can I text u on my break?-E_

_Sorry to read u can't keep it up too long lmao ; ) I would love for you to text me l8ter – B_

_Woman ur killing me - ttyl – E_

Rereading our text messages, I stroll down the street toward the bus stop. A frown covers my face as I realize he has failed to answer my first question about someone being up all night thinking about him. My heart deflates at his evasiveness. I try to reassure myself. _Maybe he was in a hurry. Maybe he didn't read the entire text message. Maybe he didn't have time to tell me about his gorgeous perfect girlfriend._ I admonish myself, "Stop being a seventeen year old girl. He would not have kissed me like that if he had a girlfriend. End of story."

As I stroll the quiet streets of Pioneer Square, I sip an extra-large cup of strong black coffee. I take some pictures of the stunningly eclectic Romanesque, Victorian and Edwardian architecture. I giggle like a school girl as I think of the Edwardian architecture which, in turn, reminds me of d Edward. Silly school girl and my silly school girl crush.

My stomach growls informing me that breakfast is long overdue. To be honest, I can go for another extra-large coffee too. I locate a nearby family-owned restaurant. In my travels, I have discovered small family-owned restaurants tend to have the best food. The hostess slash waitress states it will be about a ten minute wait. I nod just as my phone vibrates with another text message. Being all silly school girly, I immediately hope it's from Edward but logically I know he's busy at the hospital.

_Can I get the wedding invitations printed NOW ; ) – Esme_

I can't help but laugh out loud recall the comment I made to Esme about wedding invitations months ago. She remembered. My laugh catches the attention of some of the other customers and I blush at my outburst.

Smiling at the memory, I send back a text.

_Not just yet momma bear ; )_

Almost instantaneously, my phone rings. Reading the name, I laugh out loud again.

"Hello momma bear. How are you this fine winter morning?"

"I'm fine Bella. Thank you for asking," she sings. "Now, since you're awake, how would you like to meet Alice and me for breakfast? I was so tired last night we never did have a chance to catch up." Her voice is laced with sugary sweet sweetness.

"I'm actually waiting for a table as we speak . . ."

"Great! Where are you? We're on our way. Change the table to three," she excitedly interrupts.

I know there's no arguing with momma bear so I cave and read the name of the restaurant off a menu. In the background, I hear her instructing Alice to enter the name in the GPS and once again, I laugh out loud at their antics.

"See you in ten" is all I can make out before she hangs up on me.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed my slightly sweetened lemonade full pitchers to follow soon. I would love to hear your thoughts and reactions. Remember, reviews are like oxygen to me. So if you read this chapter please review too. My story is not beta'd so please let me know of any mistakes. Thanks


	13. Chapter 13 Where Do I Begin?

**A/N: Okay, so Bella and Edward are reunited and all is well. However, some people weren't too happy that Tanya was all but forgotten once he saw Bella. Please remember that they **_**are**_** "just friends" although Tanya does want more. They don't have a physical relationship so there wasn't any cheating. This is a girl's chapter but some info is revealed. We're going to see a lot of Bella, Esme, Alice and Rosalie but there may be some Edward/Bella too. Thanks to those who review and provide me with feedback. Make me so happy. I would love to hear from a few more of you. Please, pretty please.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 13 "Where Do I Begin?"**

**BPoV**

It's not even nine in the morning. That woman has absolutely no right to have that much energy at this ungodly hour. I've been awake for over three hours and, if I don't get at least two more cups of coffee into my system, I will be a candidate for zombie land.

"Excuse me. I need to change my table for one to a table for three," I inform the hostess.

"No problem but the wait might be a few minutes longer. Is that okay?"

"That's fine. The other two guests aren't here yet anyway."

As I loiter in the waiting area, my phone vibrates with a text from Alice.

_Sorry make that a table for four - 3 u - Alice_

I roll my eyes at the text before returning to the hostess to change the number of guests from three to four. She informs me that the wait time will be the same and will let me know when the table is available.

I'm curious as to who the other person Esme is bringing. I smirk hoping it might be Edward. Hmmmm . . . Edward for breakfast . . . I mean breakfast with Edward. Yeah, that's what I mean. Unfortunately, I know he's at the hospital. _"Who could it be?"_ I wonder if poppa bear has been roped into joining us for breakfast. I imagine Esme and Alice literally roping and dragging a reluctant Dr. Cullen along. I have to admire that man. Any person able to put up with momma bear and her cub Alice has got to be a saint . . . _or_ a drunk I laugh.

I decide to wait just outside the door. After my last meeting with momma bear and her cub at work, I _do not_ want a repeat performance of _that_ three ring circus. It is just way too early in the day for high pitched screams and rib crushing bear hugs in the middle of a small restaurant.

On second thought, perhaps waiting outside in the cold wet Seattle morning is not the best decision I've ever made. As the brits might say, "_I'm freezing my effing bollucks off_." In hopes of warming up a bit, I wrap my arms in front of my chest rubbing my hands up and down my arms. When that attempt to warm up fails I yank the extra-long sleeves of our hoodie over my hands before sticking both hands in the kangaroo front pocket.

The thought of _our hoodie_ has me feeling like a silly love sick teenager instead of the strong confident independent 26 year old woman I am. My inner silly love sick teenager mind wanders back to last night _and _Edward _and_ his hello kiss _and_ our comfortable conversations and our constant need to remain connected through even the slightest touch of our hands.

I wonder if Edward feels that immediate inexplicable connection between us. I cringe hoping it just isn't me being a silly seventeen year old girl_. _For the first time since I had set out on _my_ adventure, I'm conflicted at the sudden momentary flashes of settling down, of a career, of a home life, of a family. I attempt to bury those thoughts of being shackled down. _I still had so much I wanted to see and wanted to experience. I couldn't . . ._ My unnerving thoughts are interrupted by a loud car horn and the sound of a female voices calling out my name.

My eyes follow the direction of the voices and I spot a far too energetic waving Esme and Alice exiting their car. I shake the unnerving thoughts away as I smile and wave back. Unexpectedly, the third breakfast guest exits the car; it's not Dr. Cullen unless he's in disguise as a woman and not just any woman. No, this woman is an impeccably dressed 5'9" amazon with silky honey blonde hair, ice cold violet blue eyed, and a body to die for.

I know I'm a strong confident independent woman but, being on the other end of her ice cold stare; I literally shrink into my extra-large hoodie. Then it suddenly dawns on me; my heart began to race. Is this amazon woman with the death ray eyes the woman Edward so subtly failed to mention as _the person who might be up all night thinking about him_? My breathing hitches and the blood drains my body as the women approaches. I get a much better look at this drop dead gorgeous diva and all my confidence shatters.

As expected, I'm pulled into a bone crushing bear hug by Esme and Alice. Death by bone crushing bear hug or death ray glare, I'll take the bone crushing bear hug any day. Resigned with the fact that I won't be released until I reciprocate, I have no other alternative but to give in and return their hugs. My tight embrace only makes the women laugh and hug tighter if that is even possible. We pull away as Esme turns to amazon woman.

"Rosalie this is Penny slash Bella." Esme turns to me and giggles, "That never gets old."

I roll my eyes in exaggeration as she stuck out her tongue.

"Bella, this is Rosalie Hale, Alice's best friend."

I smile reaching my hand out in Rosalie's direction. To my surprise Rosalie extends her hand to mine as we greet each other.

"It's so nice to meet you Bella but if you will excuse me for just a moment." Rosalie removes her hand from mine and walks into the diner. I see her stop to speak with the hostess for a moment before following the direction of the hostess's stretched out arm.

Rosalie makes her way to the woman's room just as the hostess pops outside informing us that our table is ready. We enter the warm restaurant and follow her to our table.

As we settle in, Rosalie exits the woman's restroom looking around for us. Spotting us, a huge grin crosses her face as she strolls to our table and plops down next to Alice. What surprises me is that not only is her smile genuine but she is now wearing designer prescription glasses.

"Oh my God, that is so much better. I can see again," chuckles Rosalie in relief. "Please forgive me for being so rude a moment ago Penny slash Bella but I'm as blind as a bat and one of my contacts fell out in the car. I couldn't see a thing."

"_Oh great_," I thought to myself as I smile at Rosalie, _"she stunningly beautiful and genuinely sweet. I hate her."_

"I don't understand why you don't just wear your glasses more often," admonishes Alice. "You get that whole sexy librarian vibe going with them on."

"Alice! I can't believe you just said that in front of me," snorts a playfully shocked Esme.

In a low seductive Marilyn Monroe voice Rosalie whispers, "Oh Alice, you know I only wear my glasses for Emmett _and_ only on special occasions." Then she winks at Alice and they both laugh out loud.

_Emmett? Who's Emmett if she supposed to be thinking about my Edward all night long?_

Trying to control my nervous voice I ask, "Who's Emmett?" to no one in particular.

"Oh I'm sorry Bella. Emmie's _my_ hunk of a man boyfriend," purrs Rosalie as her finger drew lazy circles on the table.

Esme and Alice eye each other. "Please don't get her started on Emmett. We'll never get her to shut up. By the way, Emmett's my cousin and one of Edward's best friends," informs Alice.

"_Boyfriend! Yes! Fist pump. Sexy amazon librarian woman has a hunk of a man friend. Yeah, all is right with the world," _I think to myself as I laugh along with Esme and Alice. _But my revelry is quickly squashed, if Rosalie isn't thinking about Edward, then who is?"_

While Rosalie playfully sticks her tongue out at Alice, I admonish myself for judging Rosalie so harshly. I'm ashamed and should know better than to judge a book by its cover so to speak. If I am being completely honest with myself, I think . . . I think I'm jealous.

Our waitress drops off menus and takes our order of four very large coffees.

"Are you sure you need any more coffee this morning you two." I wave my finger in the direction of momma bear and her cub bear.

"I haven't had a drop of java this morning," Esme responds.

_Oh brother, if this is how this woman is without a caffeine fix am I in for it now._

We perused the menus as the waitress drops off our coffees. The waitress takes each of our breakfast orders but my jaw hits the table when I hear Rosalie's order.

"Um, let me see. . . I'll have the three egg breakfast special. Make the eggs over easy and sour dough toast please, extra butter on the side. Does the special come with hotcakes?"

The waitress nods a no.

"Then add a small stack of chocolate chip hotcakes on the side." Rosalie scans the menu once more. "Yeah, I think that's it." Rosalie smiles satisfied with her order.

"Ummmm Rosalie, I don't mean to be rude, especially because we've just met, but how do you keep that," I wave my hand up and down her body, "rocking body eating like a truck driver?"

Before Rosalie answers, Alice steps in with a deadpan response. "She inherited a very fast metabolism from her father's side of the family. She eats like that all the time. We hate her. If you feel the need, you can hate her too. You have my permission."

Rosalie sits with a smug smile on her face as Esme scolds her baby cub for saying _hate_.

"I'm sorry Rose. I don't really hate you. I simply despise you with my entire being for your fast metabolism and I damn you to Hades," apologizes Alice in a sugary sweet fake voice.

"Oh Alice, I love you too. Kissy kissy." They turn and throw air kisses at each other.

"All right, all right enough you two. Let's get down to business," commands Esme.

Suddenly, there is silence as I feel all eyes settle on me.

"Now Bella, I want to know everything and I mean everything about you but, more importantly, I want to know exactly what is going on between you and my baby boy. And you better not tell me nothing is going on because after that kiss," Esme fans herself, "I witnessed last night don't you dare say nothing is going on."

Nervously, I gather my thoughts before I regale the group with the story of how Edward and I met. Without interruption, I speak about my parents, about my promise to Charlie to get a college education that would afford me a good job in today's economy and _my promise_ _to him_ that once I finished college _I was going to live my life_. The three women intently listen to my story but it's my last bit of information that piqued Esme's interest.

The waitress serves our plates as we silently began to eat. I'm thankful for the interruption of my interrogation. I spy Rosalie's food and shake my head as we continue to eat.

Esme breaks the silence. She faces me before questioning, "So what do you mean by _live your life_?"

In all honesty, her tone frightened me. I've never really had to answer to a parent before. I basically took care of my mom and then Charlie when he had his heart attack. For all intent and purposes, I've always been the parent thus me phobia of being shackled down.

I stall answering Esme's question by shoving a huge fork full of food in my mouth but that woman is relentless. She continues her stare until I swallow my food and sip from my coffee cup. Yeah, she's not going to let go of that one.

"Like I said, my grandmother left me a small amount of money. I saved the money to travel the country. Before I even think about being shackled down with a job and adult responsibilities, I want to see things and meet people and I want do things I might not get a chance to do once I start working and having a family. I don't just want to say _I wish I could or wouldn't it be nice to. . . _ Does that make sense?"

"Such as?"

"Okay, for example," I explain, "Late last summer, I traveled to the northeast to see the leaves of the oak trees and the maples change colors. I even got a part-time job working on a farm that taps the maple syrup. Anyway, I've only ever lived in areas where it's either all grey and green or all sunny and brown. I really wanted to be able to say I've seen the leaves change. I've seen the season change. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying if I was to settle down I couldn't see that but it wouldn't be spontaneous. With a job or a family, seeing the leaves change would have to be penciled in during vacation time or when the kids weren't in school." I pause looking over the edge of my coffee cup. "I know I'm rambling. It's just how I am." I shrug my shoulder at my own self-assessment. "I like knowing that I can get up and go on the spur of the moment. I want my life to be an adventure." I laugh, "After all, I am my mother's daughter. I got my father's stubbornness and my mom's love for adventure. That's a dangerous combination."

"How long do you stay in one place?" Esme's tone turning more serious as our conversation continues.

My phone vibrates just as I was about to answer her question. I look at my screen and see it's Charlie.

"Excuse me for a minute. It's my dad."

"No problem, go right ahead sweetie." Esme, Alice and Rosalie continue to eat quietly as I answer the call.

"Hey dad, what's up? . . . uh huh . . . okay, if you're sure . . . I'll have to get back to you . . . I'm not sure what my work schedule for Christmas week is gonna . . . okay, I'll let you know as soon as possible . . . I love you to old man. See you soon. Bye."

I sip my coffee and another fork full of food before Esme continues with her interrogation.

"So how long do you stay in one place?"

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "Oh, it just depends on what I'm in the mood for and if I can find a part-time job to help with my expenses."

"Aren't you scared to travel the country all alone?" Rosalie asks quietly. "You really are brave. I don't think I would have the courage to do what you're doing. I know my parents would never allow to do what you're doing grown woman or not."

I snort at Rosalie's declaration recalling my dad's reaction to my news. "Believe me Rosalie my parents are none too happy about what I am doing either. My dad and I had several knock down drag out fights about this. At one point, he called and told my mother on me like that was going to make a difference. When Charlie finally realized I wasn't going to change my mind, he insisted on teaching me some basic self- defense moves."

Searching through my backpack, I yanked out my keys. "And as a going away present he got me this." I hold up small can of pepper spray attached to my keychain.

We all laugh but there is a look of motherly concern on Esme's face.

"So what are you doing here in Seattle?" This time it's Alice's turn to interrogate.

"Actually, I graduated from U-Dub. I got my bachelors and master there. I love Seattle but when I was in college I was so focused on my studies that I didn't have the time to truly appreciate all that the city offers. On my holidays or vacations, I would go home to Forks. I would tidy up the house and cook as many frozen meals as possible for my dad."

Alice nearly spit out her coffee at that statement. I give her a quizzical look.

"I've never even seen the Fremont Troll! Can you believe that!"

"Hey, I've lived here all my life, well except when I was in college, and I've never seen it either," declares Alice.

"Exactly, my point! See what I mean. You've been here all your life so why haven't you seen the troll," I laugh. "Let's make a date. We'll all go see the troll together. What do you think?"

Esme narrow her eyes at Alice as she and Rosalie nod in agreement.

My phone vibrates again. I pull it out of my pocket and grin when I read Edward's name.

_Not on break but just wanted to say hi – hi – E_

_Hi back. Having an interrogation breakfast with momma bear, Alice and Rosalie – B_

_Omg – how did that happen? So sorry gotta go – E_

I look up from my phone only to be met with three sets of happy sparkling eyes and wide grins. With that, I feel a blush from the top of my head to the tip of my toes if that's even possible.

Saving me from further embarrassment Rosalie chimes in, "So how long do you plan on staying in Seattle Bella?"

"I'm not really sure yet." I answer honestly. "I've always wanted to see the Space Needle's New Year's Eve firework show. The last few years I spent New Year's Eve in Forks usually alone because Charlie always volunteered to work holidays. So this year it's definitely the Space Needle. I'm trying to save some money to go to Canada or Alaska to see the Northern Lights early next year, late January or February. After that, I'm not really sure although my mind keeps wandering to Hawaii. I would love to zip line in Maui or parasail or hike up a cliff and then jump off into the ocean. Thinking out loud now, maybe travel to Europe, stay at hostel. In Scotland there's a month long festival in August. Doesn't that sound amazing?"

I'm fully aware that the more I talk about my non-plans the more subdued Esme becomes. I feel the need to change the subject fast.

"Okay, enough about me. I want to know all about you. I already know Rosalie has a hunky boyfriend named Emmett but what about the rest of you. Alice, you said you went away to school. Where did you go? What did you major in?"

Alice energetically talks about college, how she and Rosalie met and bonded over the need to someday dominate the world and they both giggle at the memory. She becomes it bit more subdued, almost a different person, discussing her desire to start her own business. She confides that she is nervous about starting a business in this economy but feels confident she can make her business a success. .

Alice continues to talk about her business while I inhale another cup of coffee. We sit in somewhat comfortable silence as we finish our meals. I laugh to myself noticing that Rosalie is the first to finish her meal despite the fact that she's had the most food. There's simply no justice in the world.

"Bella, I hope you don't mind my eavesdropping on your conversation with your father, after all I am sitting right next to you," she laughs, "I couldn't help but hear but it sounds as if your Christmas plans with your father have fallen through. Am I right?"

I shake my head in acknowledgement. "No biggie, he usually works holidays anyway. We were going to spend Christmas morning together but one of his deputies asked if Charlie wouldn't mind covering his shift. My dad would do anything for his deputies. He's loyal that way. I'm sure I'll find something to do."

Without hesitation, Esme suggests, "I would love for you to spend the day with us!"

"Esme thank you. Your offer is so kind but I wouldn't want to interfere in your family celebration. I'm a complete stranger. What if I went into your house and robbed you. What would you do?" _There is absolutely no way I am spending Christmas with Edward's family. First, I don't know if he is seeing someone and second, he'll think I'm some sort of stalker chick._

"Then I would call your father to come and arrest you," she retorts.

Alice reaches over placing her hand on mine, "Bella, Bella, Bella. We don't know each other very well but there is one thing you must have figured out by now. Momma bear always gets what she wants. So what time will you be there? "

Rosalie nods her head in agreement as Esme triumphantly beams.

"If you're sure I won't be too much trouble, then I kindly accept your invitation." I pause for a moment. "I love to bake during Christmas. If my landlord allows me to borrow the kitchen I'd love to bring some Christmas goodies as a thank you for your kind invitation."

Esme taps her pursed lips with her finger and rolls her eyes side to side in thought.

"I have an idea. You will pack a bag and spend Christmas Eve, Christmas and the day after Christmas at my home."

Before she can finish, I interject a most emphatic, "No."

Alice and Rosalie huff, roll their eyes and shake their heads again.

"Esme there is no way I am going to spend Christmas week with you and your family. No way!"

_If I was being honest with myself, I would love to spend Christmas with the Cullen family, Edward in particular, but I really don't want him to think I have stalker tendencies._

"You listen to me young lady . . ."

"Oh no, you're in trouble now. She used _young lady_," sighs Alice.

"Christmas week, that's even better than three days."

"No, no I didn't mean Christmas week I meant the week _of_ Christ . . ."

"As I was saying, you are all alone for the holidays. You don't know when you will be able to visit your father. We have more than enough room and you can help me with my baking. You won't have to bother your landlady for the use of her kitchen. I have more than enough room in mine for two bakers. Now that's final young lady."

"Esme, I'm sure I will be scheduled to work a couple of days next week. I can't just come and go as I please in your home."

"Bella, I have been married to a doctor for almost thirty years. I'm use to people coming and going at all hour of the day and night."

She has an answer to every single one of my objections. Raising my hands to my side, "I surrender. Just tell me the time and place. I'm all yours."

In a pixie voice, Alice teases, "I told you," as Rosalie shakes her head in agreement.

"Esme, I have one very critical question. What about Edward? What will he think about a complete stranger staying with _his _family? I don't want him to feel uncomfortable with my presence."

"If it makes you feel any better, we probably won't even see Edward at all next week. The residents usually cover the holidays. So Christmas day will most likely be my husband, Alice minus Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, you and me. We usually have family and friends drop in and out all day but very informal."

_Esme's invitation to spend the week with the Cullen family has eased my mind. Edward must not have a girlfriend. If he had, she wouldn't have invited me into her home. _

And with that, my Christmas week is planned. The rest of the meal we chit chat about Christmas traditions, places to visit in Seattle, the Fremont Troll and New Year's Eve.

Despite the numerous refills to my coffee cup, I stifle a yawn, my lack of sleep finally hitting me.

"Well gals, it's been fun and I really hate to eat and run but I need to take a nap before I head off to work later this afternoon. I didn't get much sleep last night."

Self-satisfied grins spread across Esme and Alice faces.

Esme graciously insists on treating us as we argue over the bill. Knowing she always gets her way, I graciously thank her. We hug goodbye as I make my way to the bus stop and they cross the street to their car.

Alice shouts, "Bella, where are you going?"

I point to the bus stop as Esme's lips narrow and she shakes her head no. Without even being asked, I roll my eyes and walk in the direction of their car. Esme smiles as I get in the back seat. _Yeah, I learn fast. I am a college graduate after all._

I give Esme my address as Alice enters in the GPS. We sit in comfortable silence listening to Alice's Ipod watching the passing scenery. While riding in the back seat, Rosalie and I also exchange contact information. We take selfies to accompany our contact information. Alice gets in on the action sneaking a natural shot of me humming to a song. She sets the picture to _her_ contacts before informing me she also forwarded it to Edward.

I know Edward's busy but I send him a quick text informing him of my newly arranged Christmas plans. I don't want him to think I orchestrated this in any way shape or form.

When we arrive at the boarding house, I thank Rose and Alice for having breakfast with me. Esme gets out of the car, inspecting my current residence, then hugs me goodbye.

"I know we can be a bit overwhelming but you'll get used to it." She gives me one last embrace before she whispering, "and we're going to do something about that," tilting her head toward the house, "young lady. Oh, and don't think I didn't notice that you avoided my question about Edward. Good thing I have you all to myself next week," she winks.

I know there's no point in arguing with this dynamo of a woman. Just then my phone vibrates.

_Don't worry. I should have warned you. Mom always gets what she wants. - nice picture btw - E_

**A/N: So, how did you like girl time? On a side note, the first time I posted this story, some readers thought Esme to be a bit overbearing. Well, she is but her family loves her that way. I'm desperate to read your thoughts in a review. **


	14. Chapter 14 When I Fall in Love radio

**A/N: We're going to see a bit of Tanya this chapter. Poor Edward, what's a guy to do. This is not a fun chapter but a necessary one. Please don't hate my poor Edward. As usual, I would love to have some reviews to let me know if I should be ducking. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 14 "When I Fall in Love" [radio version]**

**EPoV**

Morning rounds had just begun when my lab coat pocket glows and vibrates. For a split second, I glance at my illuminated pocket before bringing my attention to the patient I'm currently assessing. I listen attentively as the attending physician continues the patient's preliminary diagnosis. I know better than to even think about taking a glance at my phone during rounds but as my group makes its way to the next patient, I strategically fall back. Nonchalantly, I slip my hand into my pocket sneaking a glance at the screen. The picture sent by Alice causes a lopsided grin to spread across my face, a serene looking Bella sitting in what appears to be my mother's car. Returning my attention to the attending physician's discussion, my eyes are met with the cold harsh stare of my supervising resident. That cold harsh stare wipes my grin straight off my face as I mouth _sorry. _Yeah, I knew better but I couldn't resist a glimpse of Bella.

"Don't let it happen again," she sternly reprimands.

I shamefully nod as I internally admonished myself, _"Stay focused Cullen."_

Rounds ran longer than usually. I only have a few minutes before I needs to meet my group to discuss patient cases.

Since the last time I checked my phone, I have received four new text messages. I quickly read them.

_Got railroaded into spending next week w/ur family ): I hope u don't mind. just can't seem to say no to momma bear and her cub – B_

_I think she's a keeper do something about it soon ; p – Alice _

_Bella has so graciously accepted my invitation to keep me company all next week. she's gonna help me with Christmas baking – "say thank you mom" ; ) 3 u baby boy- mom_

_And talk to Tanya asap! I know my baby boy will do the right thing. She's a nice girl but you need to be honest w/her. It's only fair to her AND Bella 3 u - mom_

I grin at the first three messages but the last message brings me back to reality. In any other universe, Tanya would fit perfectly into my life's plan of a medical career, marriage, home, family _but_ that was before Bella came back into my life.

My mind is jumbled with thoughts of Bella and Tanya. I try to rationalize how to end my non-romantic relationship with Tanya. I think back momentarily to the night of my graduation slash welcome home party. I remember Tanya asking me to give her a call. Her exact words were,

_"_ _Umm, I know you're going to be busy once you start your rotations but if you ever want to catch a movie or just hang out to relax on your days off I would love to see you again." _Then we exchanged cell phone numbers and I felt as if I was cheating on Bella. Come to think of it, Tanya initiated our first date. Tanya usually initiated most of our _date nights_ either by inviting me to a movie or making dinner for me at her apartment. Okay, now I just sound like a dick. In all honesty, she has never been anything but kind and considerate to me; I do enjoy her company but she isn't Bella. I hope we can remain friends but I know Tanya feels more for me than friendship. Unfortunately, I never felt anything but friendship for her. There was always a phantom haunting my mind – There was always Bella.

I tried without success to bury all thoughts and memories of Bella but to no prevail. No matter how deep I tried to bury her in my subconscious mind, I just couldn't erase the memory of her; our immediate connection was too strong to break.

My mom's is right as usual, I need to talk Tanya as soon as possible. I need to end our casual get-togethers now. In all honesty, we aren't even an official couple. So, if we are not an officially a couple, how do I end this? Fuck, what kind of dick breaks up with someone a week before Christmas? Yeah, I'm officially a fucking dick giving her the _'it's not you, it's me' _speech. I am not looking forward to hurting a good friend.

Resigned with doing the right thing for all involved, I attempt to refocus my attention to the conference room, the resident's discussions, patient assessments, prognoses and diagnoses. The attempt is futile. With this looming over my head, I know I have to _swallow my medicine_ so to speak. I excuse myself for a moment, step outside the door and call Tanya. My chest heaves harder with each unanswered ring.

**TPoV**

Since early this morning, Alistair and I have been reviewing depositions and legal files. We have a ground breaking international case scheduled for early next year. I need to make sure that all my bases were covered, that I have not overlooked any key points of the case. I don't want any surprises from the extremely intimidating opposing legal team. They're known for playing dirty and my confidence is a bit shaken at the moment. In most cases, I'm aggressive confident when presenting a case to court but this case is far too important to the firm and my career. I enlisted Alistair, a preeminent British lawyer in international law, to scrutinize every inch of every single deposition, legal files, notes, post its, everything. I needed a fresh pair of eyes.

_For a brief moment, Edward's eyes flash before me with the thought of eyes. _

If anyone can locate the proverbial needle in a haystack, Alistair's expertise and cunning can. He began his legal career in England before being lured to the firm by one of the senior partners.

Feeling my shoulder muscles beginning to stiffen, I get up to stretch my arms and legs. I rotate my neck side to side and I hear a slight crack; I cringe. If I don't get my circulation going, I am going to turn into a statue.

"Alistair, do you want some more tea," I offer standing near the credenza.

He looks up and nods before standing and stretching his arms too.

"Yes, thank you. Brilliant idea, I think a break is long overdue. We've been looking over these files far too long; I feel stiff as a board." For a split second he appears embarrassed by his choice of words. As he rotates his head and shoulders, his neck cracks too. "See what I mean," he chuckles not mentioning the sound of my cracking bones.

"Thanks for the scones by the way. They're delicious. I forgot to grab my yogurt from the fridge this morning. My mind was so preoccupied with getting to the office early this morning."

"Yes, these scones are adequate but not as good as the kind you get in England," he smirks. "I'd love to take you to my favorite bakery in England. I usually order the traditional sconces with heavy cream and strawberry preserve."

"With that British accent of yours, you make a simple pastry sound so haughty," I giggle, "and there is no way I would ever eat a scone filled with globs of cream. That sounds so fattening. I think I'll stick with my yogurt."

"I'd still love for you to see the bakery. It's so quaint. I think once you got there, you wouldn't be able to resist the _traditional _Britishscones."

"Enough about fattening cream filled British scones! Drink your tea and let's get back to work."

"Tyrant," he chuckles picking up his cup of tea.

My cell phone rings just as I'm making my way back to my desk. Alistair picks up my phone and, before handing it to me, glances at the screen. "Edward. Oh, I'm sorry."

Edward rarely calls me, especially when he's on duty at the hospital. I glance to Alistair. "Sorry, would you excuse me. I have to take this."

Alistair nods as he rises making his way just outside my office door.

"Hi Edward, how are you? Aren't you on duty today," I answer unable to hide the excitement in my voice.

"Yes . . . um hi Tanya . . . I hope I'm not disturbing you at work. I was calling . . ." B

I interrupt Edward mid-sentence, "No, you're not disturbing me at all." _I secretly hope he's calling to invite me to celebrate Christmas with him at his parent's home._

"Um Tanya I don't mean to rush but I only have a few moments. . ."

"Oh I'm sorry. I completely understand," I giggle like a school girl, "I'm sorry. You were saying."

As Edward speaks, I'm cognizant of Alistair impatient stare. I raise one finger and mouth _one minute okay_ but he turns away with an irritated scowl on his face.

"Anyway, I know it's completely last minute but if you're free for a quick lunch today . . ."

"A quick lunch sounds perfect. Just tell me where and when," I ecstatically agree.

"Well, I'll pick up some sandwiches and drinks from the cafeteria and meet you at the patio tables. It's cold outside but I could really use some fresh air if you don't mind. Say about three."

"Fresh air sounds good. I got into the office way too early this morning. Three's fine. See you then." I'm giddy with anticipation of our lunch, our lunch date that _he_ called to make.

"Okay, see you then. Sorry Tanya but I've got to go now. Bye."

"Bye Edward, see you at three on the dot." My school girl grin plastered across my face knowing Edward has called _me_ and asked _me_ to lunch.

Alistair returns to my office with a stern expression on his face. "If you're done with your phone call, can we get back to work now?" His tone is as stern as his face.

"Sorry for the interruption. Edward invited me for a quick lunch today. If you don't mind, we can work straight through and take a late lunch break. Say around 2:30?"

With a less than friendly tone and slight nod he answered, "Fine. Now let's get back to work." 

The rest of the day we work in uncomfortable silence. As I read over my documents, I try to think what I might have said to offend Alistair but instead my mind wonders to Edward and our upcoming lunch.

**EPoV**

As I hit the call button, my heart races not the way it accelerates whenever I think of Bella. Rather, my heart nervously beats against my chest fully aware I am about to hurt my friend, a good friend.

She answers the phone on the second ring; I can hear the excitement in her voice and I cringe.

"_Hi Edward, how are you? Aren't you on duty today." _

Fuck, she sounds so happy, hopeful, if I'm being completely honest with myself.

"_Yes . . . um hi Tanya . . . I hope I'm not disturbing you at work. I was calling . . ." but before I can finish she interrupts me._

"_No, you're not disturbing me at all." _

Yup, definitely sounds hopeful.

"_Um Tanya I don't mean to rush but I only have a few moments. . ."_

"_Oh I'm sorry. I completely understand," she giggles, "I'm sorry. You were saying_."

"_Anyway, I know it's completely last minute but if you're free for a quick lunch today . . ." _

"_A quick lunch sounds perfect. Just tell me where and when," she happily and all too quickly agrees._

Fuck, fuck and double fuck. I'm a fucking dick.

"_Well, I'll pick up some sandwiches and drinks from the cafeteria and meet you at the patio tables. It's cold outside but I could really use some fresh air if you don't mind. Say about three."_

There's no way in hell I'm having this conversation in a busy hospital cafeteria. I don't know how Tanya will react to what I need to tell her. I have to be honest with her; it's the only fair thing to do. I don't want her to be embarrassed if she gets emotional.

"_Fresh air sounds good. I got into the office way too early this morning. Three's fine. See you then."_

"_Okay, see you then. Sorry Tanya but I've got to go now. Bye_."

I end my call sullenly making my way back to the conference room. The rest of the day I avoid thoughts of my impending lunch with Tanya. I focus on my patients . . . the attending physician . . . lab work . . . patient charts . . . and the cold harsh stares of the ever present supervising resident.

Just before three in the afternoon, I rush to the cafeteria. With the lunch crowd gone, I'm able to quickly grab a couple of wrapped sandwiches, tea for Tanya and a strong cup of coffee for me. After this lunch, I'm going to need something stronger than coffee.

Walking to the table, I spot a smiling Tanya waving and calling my name. I attempt a weak smile back as my heart beats against my chest. I inhale a few soothing breaths as I approach the table. Fuck, fuck and fuck. This is going to be hard but I have to man up.

"Hey Tanya, thanks for meeting me." I attempt to steady my voice as I speak.

"Oh Edward, thank you for inviting me. You know I love spending time with you. And believe me, I needed a break from the case I'm working on right now." She pauses. "My coworker brought some scones this morning. I snuck a couple for dessert," she tempts.

She is not making this easy for me but, then again, this isn't about me. It's about her.

"Thanks, they look delicious," I add with no sound of enthusiasm in my voice.

I place a sandwich and her tea in front of Tanya; she thanks me. We tear away the plastic wrap of our sandwiches and begin to eat in silence. After a few bites, Tanya breaks the silence.

"So what does your schedule look like for next week? I know first year residents usually get stuck at the hospital during the holidays."

Knowing what she's probably hinting at, I swallow some of my sandwich before I respond.

"Yeah, I'm pretty much stuck there every day next week. I checked my schedule this morning. Luckily, I got the day after Christmas off but I do work Christmas day. Bah Humbug." I joke attempting to lighten the mood. "So what are your plans? Are you spending the day with your family?" I notice her smile slightly falter at the news of my work schedule.

"I'm not really sure what my plans are for Christmas yet. Of course, I'm sure I'll visit my parents and sister. Other than that, I'm free for the day. . ." _Hint hint_

"Hey, since you're working Christmas day why don't I bring you a special lunch or dinner? My mom always makes a buffet for family and friends that drop by. I could bring . . ."

_This is it. I have to say something now before she goes any further._

"Tanya," I interrupt, "Tanya, I invited you to lunch today because I need to talk to you about something, about us." My voice sounds much more formal and solemn than I had intended.

The seriousness of my voice makes her smile completely disappear. She put her sandwich down, takes a deep breath before she slowly turns to me. Her glistening tear filled eyes give it away. She is fully aware of what I am about to say before I even say the hurtful words.

I swallow again before I begin the infamous '_it's not you it's me'_ speech. I despise myself at this very moment. I can see the hurt in her sad blue eyes.

"Tanya you're such a good friend," Fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be as I nervously run my hand through my hair, ". . . I appreciate everything you have done for me. I like hanging out with you . . . going to the movies and . . . the dinners . . ." I see a tear fall down her cheek as I continue. "We have so much in common _but_ . . ."

"But it's not me it's you," she whispers through her tears.

"I know that's such a cliché but it's true. I like you. I want us to be friends but I think we see this relationship differently. Honestly Tanya, how would you define us? Honestly."

She sucks in a deep breathe trying to control her tears before she whispers. "I like you Edward . . . I enjoy spending time with you." She wipes away another falling tear from her cheek before continuing. "I thought you liked spending time with me too."

"I _do_ like you Tanya just not in the way I think you like me. Am I right?" Fuck, I sound like such a fucking douchebag; I am a fucking douchebag.

"But you could learn to like me . . . love me . . ." she silently speaks as she stares at the cold table.

When I hear the word _love_ come out of her mouth I realize how naïve I've been. Her feelings for me are far stronger than I had thought. I minutely shake my head side to side.

"Tanya, maybe in another life time we would be perfect for each other but I don't want to lead you on. Believe it or not, I respect you far too much as a friend but I don't see us ever being anything more than really good friends . . ." I hear a painful sob and my heart cringes at the pain I am causing her. "I know _right now_ you probably never want to see me again but . . . but I hope, someday, we can be friends."

I try to place my hand on hers in a gesture of comfort but she pulls away from my touch as if my touch burns. Yup, I have officially just broken the heart of a really good friend, a good person. I feel like the douchebag that I am. Tanya looks, well, Tanya looks sullen, heartbroken.

We sit in silence. We don't talk or look at each other or touch our food. In my peripheral, I can occasionally see Tanya's shoulders shake and her silent sobs.

My lunch break is almost over and I needed to get back on the floor on time. I have no alternative but to break the silence.

"Tanya, you don't know how truly sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you . . ."

"But you did just the same," she whisper still staring at the table.

I shake my head in agreement and wince at the tears that wet the lunch table.

"My break's almost over. I need to get back. I hate leaving you . . ." I nervously stutter thinking I should have done this when we both didn't have to return to work but I wasn't thinking because I'm a douchebag.

"Just go Edward. I'm a big girl. I'll be fine," she silently utters in a nearly inaudible voice. "I'll be fine." A new stream of tears falls down her checks. "Just Go. Please just go." She wipes the tears away as her breath stutters.

I'm at a lost. I don't know what else to say or what else to do; I want to comfort her but I know I can't. I rewrap the rest of my uneaten sandwich, pick up my coffee and stand. Tanya's eyes are still fixed on the table. Before I reluctantly walk away, I whisper a final _I'm so so sorry_ before I hear heartbreaking sobs.

I toss my uneaten lunch in a nearby trash can. My appetite has all but disappeared. I pull my cell phone out and send two quick texts.

**I just talked to Tanya. I hurt her mom. I hurt a good woman. I am officially a fucking douchebag – ur douchebag baby boy**

**Can I call you later tonite? I really need to hear your voice – E**

**U r not a douchebag. U did what had to be done. Tanya is too nice a person to be lead on. I'm sorry she was hurt. 3 u my nondouchebag baby boy **

I don't get a response from Bella but I'm back on the floor so I have to focus on my patients now not my douchebag life.

**TPoV**

I don't know how long I sat and silently cried after Edward left. When my tears finally stop I take a few cleansing breaths. I wipe the residual tears off my check. I look around at nothing at all before pulling out my cell phone. I scan my contacts and dial the number; I take a few small cleansing breaths listening to my phone ring.

"Alistair McBain speaking," he answers formally.

"Alistair, it's um . . . it's Tanya . . . listen I'm not feeling very well. I won't be coming back to the office today. It must have been something I ate for lunch." I lie.

Alistair's tone immediately changes to concern. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No thank you, I think I'll feel better if I just lie down and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow . . . bye." Without giving him a chance to respond, I hang up as the tears came again.

**EPOV**

Like the cowardly douchebag I am, I'm so busy the rest of my shift I don't have time to allow my mind to wander to the Tanya or Bella. I have been on my shift for fourteen hours and I am physically and emotionally exhausted. Feeling like I'm on autopilot, I make my way to my car. I sit in my car and stare at nothing in particular. An image of Bella laughing crosses my mind and I smile. Then the image of Tanya and her silent sobs invade my thoughts. I've hurt my friend, a good friend; maybe I should check on her. Perhaps I should send her a text to see how she's doing but I don't want to send her mixed signals. I've hurt her enough; I need to give her some time.

On my way home my stomach growls. I'd survived on coffee most of the day having only taken a few bites of my sandwich during that fateful lunch. I consider going to a drive thru but I simply don't have the energy. I just need to take a shower, get into bed and forget this day ever happened. I feel like a selfish douchebag because I simply just need Bella.

Walking to my apartment, I pull out my cell phone realizing I still haven't heard from Bella. I feel disappointed. I admonish myself thinking it's karma for hurting Tanya. As I turn the corner, I see a figure sitting near my door. She stands as I walk closer to the door.

We stand in silence for a moment before she moves into my tired arms. Her arms wrap around my waist making soothing circles on my back. At first, I weakly wrap my arms around her but begin to hold on tighter. We are connected and I never want to let go.

She finally pulls away searching my melancholy tired eyes.

"Are you hungry," she whispers with concern.

I barely nod.

"Let's get inside. You go take a long hot shower and I'll cook."

After my shower, I dress in a grey undershirt and some plaid sleep pants. In bare feet, I follow the smell of roast beef and garlic potatoes, my stomach growls at the aroma.

"Well I didn't cook. I microwaved," she laughs attempting to uplift my mood, "but I served it on a plate. Now sit down and eat. What do you want to drink?"

"A beer would be great. Thank you," I mumble.

Not saying a word, Bella sips on a beer while I eat. When I finish my meal, she takes the plate to the sink, rinses it off and places it in the dishwasher. I sit there staring at my half-filled bottle of beer, thinking of nothing and everything all at once. She slips her hand into mine leading me to my bedroom.

She motions for me to lie down. I willingly comply. She turns on my IPod and lowers the volume before turning off the light. With the dimmest of moonlight, I can see her silhouette as she undresses and climbs into my bed wearing nothing but _our_ hoodie.

Despite my down hearten mood, my heart accelerates as she presses her back to my chest. She reaches back for my hands, places them near her heart and locks my arms with her arms. She tangles my legs with hers. Once we are comfortably spooning, she holds onto me tighter. In unison, we let out a long exhausted breathe.

"Go to sleep," she whispers as the music softly plays in the background.

In my unconscious state I think I smile for the first time since my fateful lunch when I hear, '_When I fall in love it will be foreverOr I'll never fall in love . . .'_

**A/N: This was a very difficult chapter to write. I would love to hear what you think. Please don't be too hard on douchebag Edward. He was only doing the right thing. **

_**When I Fall in Love**_** written by Frank Cole sung by Rick Astley.**


	15. Chapter 15 Whenever You Need Somebody

**A/N: **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. Also, I do not own Marge Simpson, Carol Brady, June Cleaver, Lorelai Gilmore, Claire Dunphy, Kitty Foreman, Rick Astley or any other pop culture characters.**

**Chapter 15 "Whenever You Need Somebody" [radio version]**

**BPOV**

How the hell did I get hoodwinked into spending Christmas week with complete strangers? Okay, not complete strangers but strange none the less. What kind of woman invites a stranger into her home to spend Christmas week with her family? _'A bossy momma bear named Esme Cullen that's who,'_ I internally respond to my own question.

Yanking off my chucks, I flop on my bed wrapping a warm blanket around me. I didn't get much sleep last night. After my early morning walk and an interrogation breakfast with the Cullen women, I'm more than ready for some much needed rest. My mind battles sleep with images of sparkling green eyes . . . and cooper bronze unruly hair . . . lust filled kisses . . . tangled arms and legs . . . moans and groans. Begrudgingly, sleep wins out as I struggle to dismiss those dazzling images away. Daydreaming about every single part of Edward's being is exactly the reason for my body's current state of sleeplessness. I needed a nap now. If I continued with this train of thought, I will never get to sleep and I will be dead on my feet at work.

Trying to rid my mind of all thoughts of Edward, I think of Esme. From the few times I've had the pleasure of talking to her, I'm certain she's one fierce momma bear. I admire the way she and Alice spoke so freely about anything and everything. I picture Esme as a slightly older slightly more overbearing version of Claire Dunphy, with hints of a modern day June Cleaver who keeps an impeccable home and has dinner on the table the moment Dr. Cullen gets home from a hard day at the hospital, of a kind-hearted Carol Brady who kisses away the boo boos, of the saintly Marge Simpson's with a disapproving scowl when she catches you with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar and of Lorelai Gilmore who listens to your deepest darkest secrets and keeps them locked away or easily solve your troubles away with a shot or two of tequila. I think of Esme and Edward's relationship and toss in an ounce of the ever-smothering Kitty Foreman into the mix for good measure. Kitty is to Eric as Esme is to Edward. I smile at my convoluted juvenile analogy. Yes, I more than like Esme Cullen, momma bear to that emerald green eyed god-like creature that is Dr. Edward Cullen.

Esme appears to be truly content with her life. As much as I love my mother Renee, I try to imagine being raised by a mother like Esme, a mother who _is_ the mother so her children can be the children. How different would my life be now? Would I be traveling the country alone, sleeping in a rented single room, living out of a backpack? Would I be so opposed to settling down with a home and family? I know I can't think about what could have been. I can't go back and change my life; I can only more forward with my life. I have to stop thinking about Esme and her June Cleaver life and my lack thereof. Unknowingly, she has me questioning my current life style but I don't want to question my life; I want to live it exactly as I am, free of shackles and restraints. So there I pout like a confused petulant child.

Great, I thought thinking about sweet momma bear Esme would lull me to sleep. On the contrary, thinking about her has had the opposite effect. I'm now wide awake; expeditious thoughts of uncertainty flash through my mind. I moan not in a good way as I pound my fist into the mattress. I need to sleep. Angrily, I traipse out of bed, grab my IPod, stuff my ear buds in my ear and hit play. I whisper, 'I will not think of beautiful Edward or perfect June Cleaver Esme. I will not think about how I am living my life. I will not think; I will sleep.'

Between my sleep mantra and music, I'm finally lulled to sleep for the next couple of hours. I'm dead to the world. I could have easily slept for five more hours but my subconscious warns me it's time to wake up. Yawning and stretching my stiff muscles, I quickly shower and change into my work clothes. Opening the door, I feel a cold draft so I pull on our hoodie as I make my way to the local bus stop. I'm tempted to send Edward a text but I know he's busy so I resist the temptation.

Even with the excitement of holiday hustle and bustle, my five hour shift drags. Tonight I'm going straight home, text Edward a good night and sleep like the dead. On my bus ride home, I review my cell phone text messages.

_I expect ur bags packed and ready to go bright & early Monday morning - I will pick u up at 8am SHARP! 3 u - momma bear_

I quietly laugh rolling my eyes at her demanding message.

_Fyi – we are going to speak in length about your current living arrangement. ; )_

And cue the eye roll again as I delete that message. I smile and my heart races when I see the next text is from Edward.

_Can I call you later tonite? I really need to hear your voice – E _

My brow furrows with concern as I reread his text. This isn't like Edward's usually playful texts. He had sent the text a little after 3:30, a half hour after I had started my shift. Concerned at his tone, I immediately open the next text hoping he had sent a hint of what was obviously troubling him.

_My baby boy needs to talk and I don't think he needs to talk to his mom this time. Please call me as soon as possible. _

Esme had sent her text shortly after Edward had sent his. Something is wrong with Edward; I can sense it from the seriousness of both their texts. I speculate, directly or indirectly, I'm somehow involved. I immediately call Esme. She answers on the first ring as if she had been waiting for my call.

"Bella, thank you for calling me." Her voice sounds subdued, sad even.

"Esme, I'm so sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner. I just got off of work and only just now saw your text. Is anything wrong with Edward? I got this cryptic message from him earlier today." I hurry through panicked words.

"Oh sweetie, I didn't mean to worry you. Edward's fine. I mean physically he's fine, emotionally, I'm not so sure. He just really needs to talk. I think it would be better if he talked to you instead of me this time."

"Me? Why do you think he would need to talk to me instead of you?"

Esme weakly laughs, "Oh sweetie, I know my son and I know right now he needs _you_ not his mother."

"Do you think he's off his shift yet? I could call him . . ."

"Could I ask a huge favor of you?" Esme interrupts. "I think what Edward needs to talk about might better be said in person. To be honest, I don't even know if he will be ready to talk but, if he is it would be better to talk in person."

"You want me to go to his apartment? Tonight? Right now?"

"He'll probably be getting home soon. I really hate to ask. I know you just got off work but . . ." Esme began to ramble.

Without a second thought, I interrupt Esme's rambling and request Edward's address.

"You are not taking the bus to his apartment right now. It's after eight. You don't even know where he lives. Do you?" She snorts. "Listen, you're doing me an extremely huge favor. I will pick you up and drive you there myself. I know I'm asking a lot from you Bella but, as you can probably tell by now, I would do anything for my children."

"Yeah, I know," I chuckle half-heartedly. "Okay, give me five minutes to jump in the shower. I'll be waiting for you. Just honk."

A relieved Esme copiously thanks me before hanging up. I hop in the shower, brush my teeth, change my clothes, and listen intently for Esme's honk.

As I wait, I immediately realize the almost instantaneous connection I had with the entire Cullen family, a familiar comfort that had been missing in my life. In my travels, I've met other people, other families but none had impinged on my life like the Cullen clan. The thought of our connection frightened me but simultaneously provided a sense of home and family. The faint sound of a car horn interrupts my thoughts.

Before I could shut the door, Esme profusely thanks me over and over again. I reassure her that thanks are not necessary. I only hope that this is the right plan of action for Edward, _and_ that I will somehow be able to help.

"Is there anything else you can tell me about why you think Edward is upset? I think it would help if I knew what I was walking into. I don't want to say anything that might upset him more."

"To be perfectly honest Bella, I don't know any of the details. I can tell you that he text me this afternoon and was very disappointed in himself. I think this story is something that Edward needs to tell you not me."

Concern must have covered my face.

"Oh don't worry too much sweetie." She pats my hand lightly trying to lighten the mood. "I promise it's not as bad as I'm probably making it out to be. I just can't stomach my baby boy being upset _and_, as much as it pains me to say this, he needs _you_ more than he needs _me_ right now." She winks then and smirks at me before turning her eyes back to the road.

"He did text me saying he _needed to hear my voice_," I whisper.

That little statement put the first real smile on Esme's face since I got in the car.

"Here we are then. Let's go wait for him inside. I have my own key." She winks again as she waves the key in the air.

"With all due respect Esme, I would feel more comfortable waiting for Edward alone. I don't know . . . I think seeing his mom and his girl . . . I mean seeing both of us might be a bit overwhelming don't you think?"

"His girlfriend huh," she smiles triumphantly.

I know I'm blushing. "No! I didn't mean _girlfriend_. I meant I'm a _girl_ and a _friend_," I stutter as Esme's smirk grows into an all-knowing smug grin. "Oh, never mind," I concede.

"I think you're right Bella. Here's his key. If he's not home yet, just go in and wait for him, although, Jasper _might_ be home. I don't know his schedule for this week."

I shake my head side to side. "Absolutely not, I will not take Edward's house key and let myself in. No, no way. And that _young lady_ is final." I look to Esme with a seriously arched brow. Yeah, I can give as good as I take. "You said if he's not home he should be home shortly. I'll just wait outside his door. What's his apartment number?" Before she can even think to argue, I include, "and that's that."

"Seventeen," she mumbles withdrawing her key.

In the short time that I've known Esme, I suspect it's not very often that she doesn't get her way. I lean over gently kissing her cheek and whispering a 'thanks' before letting myself out.

"Call me when you need a ride home. I'll be up," she calls out with _her_ brow arched.

I nod my head in acknowledgement as I search for Edward's apartment number. Standing in front of the door, I knock twice and wait to see if Jasper is home but there is no answer. I drop to the floor, bring my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around my legs, rest my head and wait.

It wasn't much later before I heard footsteps approaching. I turn my head in the direction of the footsteps. I slowly stand as he walks closer.

For a moment, we stand in silence before I move to hug him. There is no thought in my action just instinct – I know he needs me. I wrap my arms around his waist making soothing circles on his back. Edward tightly wraps his arms around me, we connect.

Finally pulling away, I search his tired melancholy eyes.

"Are you hungry," I whisper with concern.

He nods.

"Let's get inside. You go take a long hot shower and I'll cook."

While Edward showers, I wander his apartment before making my way to the kitchen. I open his refrigerator and freezer searching for something I could cook up quickly. I laughed suspecting Esme, not Edward or Jasper, stocked the fridge. Esme had said if it were up to men it would be fast food or starvation. I grabbed a home cooked frozen meal and placed it in the microwave. Yup, how's that for fast. While the meal reheated, I searched for a plate and silverware. The microwave buzzed and I plated the meal. Just then I heard the shower turn off.

A bare footed Edward, dressed in a grey undershirt and plaid sleep pants, walked into the kitchen. He smelled the air as I heard his stomach growl.

"Well I didn't cook. I microwaved," I quietly laugh, "but I served it on a plate. Now sit down and eat. What do you want to drink?"

"A beer would be great. Thank you"

I sit quietly sipping on my beer while Edward eats. When he finishes, I take the plate to the sink, rinse it off and place it in the dishwasher. I turn back to a motionless Edward staring at his half-filled bottle of beer. Wordlessly, I slip my hand into his hand and lead him toward his bedroom.

I motion for him to lie down; willingly, he complies. Whenever I'm feeling low the sound of soft music always seems to ease whatever is ailing me. I spy an IPod set on its dock- I lower the volume to a near hush, shuffle the playlist then hit play. As I turn off the light, beams of moonlight break through the curtain's edges. With the dimmest of moonlight, I undress down to _our_ hoodie before climbing into _his_ bed.

Hoping my small act of kindness is what Edward currently needs, I silently fit my body as close to his as possible like we are two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. I feel his heart pound against my back as I tenderly reach back for his arms and hold him tightly to me. At that intimate gesture, he tangles his legs with mine and I hold him even tighter. He lets out a long exhausted breathe.

"Go to sleep," I whisper as the music softly plays in the moonlit room.

I can't see but I can feel Edward succumb to sleep. His body relaxes and, occasionally, I hear him mumbling. At his incoherent mumbling, I silently giggle trying not to wake him.

Once positive Edward is sound asleep, I maneuver a peek and, despite his deep state of exhausted slumber, I see traces of pain on his furrowed brow. That look told me that if or when Edward needs to talk I will be there to listen but, for now, he needs to sleep. As Edward slept, my thoughts return to how I immediately and so trustingly connected with the Cullen family but, more importantly, is that indescribable overpowering electrical cosmic connection I feel with Edward. At that final thought, I tug on his arms tightly before falling asleep. A small smirk inches across my sleeping face when my subconscious hears a deep melodic voice _When I fall in love it will be forever Or I'll never fall in love . . ._

I feel velvet soft kisses across my neck and I moan in appreciation. My dreams of Edward are vivid but never this arousing. My breathing deepens as I dream of his teeth capturing my earlobe as the tip of his wet tongue outlines my ear. _Best dream ever. _His tongue continues to travel back to my neck as his teeth lightly bites and his pouty lips suck. I turn on my back tilting my head up allowing him more access to my willing neck. I moan deeper as his warm tongue licks as his lips kiss . . . and sucked . . . down my neck. My hands float over his face up to his unruly hair as my fingers massage and grab on tightly. His warm wet mouth sucks harder and I shamefully moan louder in utter pleasure. I lift my leg over his hip pulling him closer to find the friction I desperately need. He moans _Bella_ and my eyes shoot open.

"Edward! Edward, wake up. Edward," I breathlessly whisper in a panic as my heart pounds out of my chest.

He moans my name again before slowly opening _his_ eyes. Our eyes lock before realization hits.

"Oh my God Bella I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I thought I was dreaming," Edward cries as he scrambles to pull away from me. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I can't believe I did that. I'm so sorry."

"Edward, stop. Stop," I say more firmly as I attempt to calm an extremely embarrassed Edward.

"Don't apologize 'cause um . . . I kinda um . . . um enjoyed it . . . I thought um . . . I thought I was dreaming too," I embarrassingly admit making every attempt to avoid eye contact. Thank goodness it was still dark out. I could feel my face blush deep crimson red.

I pull him toward me motioning him to lie back down; we spoon but not quite as connected as before. Edward's lower half of his body does not tangle with mine. I wickedly smile guessing the problem he is trying desperately to hide. Without warning, I push my ass into his problem, yup there it is, and lock our legs together. Our hearts race at our connection.

"I'm so sorry," Edward awkwardly whispers into my ear.

Without saying a word, I shake my head. I wait until my breathing slows before speaking.

"What time do you have to get up?" I ask softly. That's a good neutral opener.

"5:00 a.m." He softly answers back, his breathing back to normal.

With one eye, I peek at the glowing blue numbers of his alarm clock, 4:43.

"You've got about fifteen minutes. Do you want to try go back to sleep . . . or we could talk."

Without hesitation he states in a hushed dejected tone, "I hurt someone yesterday. I hurt a very good friend, a really good friend who has never been anything but nice to me."

"Did you mean to hurt _your_ friend?"

He doesn't respond. I feel his head slowly nod side to side.

"Do you want to tell me how you hurt your friend?"

"I told her we could only _ever_ be friends," he murmurs. "I had lied to myself. I knew she felt more for me than I felt for her but I ignored her feelings."

"Did you ever tell her you felt more for her than you really did?" My heart races thinking about Edward telling her he loved her.

Again, he doesn't answer but simply nods, "No, I do like her as a friend . . . but nothing serious . . . not like what I feel for you."

His voice trails off at the last part of his answer. "From your behavior, I take it she didn't take it very well. Am I right?"

"No, she didn't take it very well. I tried to tell her it wasn't her, it was me but . . ."

Before he could finish his sentence, I interrupt him. "Oh Edward, please don't tell me you gave her the "_it's not you, it's me"_ line."

"But it isn't her. It is me. I told her I still wanted to be friends . . ."

"Oh my God! I can't believe you gave her the _"let's be friends"_ line too. Men can be so dense sometimes. Poor girl, she must have been devastated."

"But I _do_ still want to be friends. We have a lot in common. We know a lot of the same people. We enjoy each other's company." I have to admit jealousy stirs deep within me at his innocent caring words.

We are silent for a few moments before I ask, "Why did you tell her you could only be friends?"

Waiting for his answer feels like an eternity. My breathing deepens as my heart pounds out of my chest.

"Because of you," he whispers.

I feel his heart race too. I close my eyes at his words. "I'm so sorry you hurt someone you care for. I'm sorry you're hurting too."

We silently hold on to each other until the alarm clock goes off. I detach one arm from his, reach over to turn the alarm off before attempting to slip out of the bed.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to use the bath room," I reveal sheepishly. I don't know why I'm suddenly embarrassed. We had slept together and had a hot and heavy session of foreplay.

When I return to the bedroom Edward is gathering his work clothes.

"Do you mind if I put some coffee on?" I'm not quite sure what to say or do. At least, making coffee will keep me occupied for a few minutes.

"Please, if you don't mind. I forgot to set the timer last night. I'm just gonna go get ready for work okay." He sounds a bit uncomfortable too as he tilts his head in the direction of the bathroom.

In the kitchen, I open some of the cupboards doors searching for the coffee and filters. After filling the coffee pot with water, I measure the pot with hazelnut flavored coffee. My kinda of man, hazelnut flavored coffee, my favorite. As the coffee brews, I wondered if I should scramble some eggs for Edward. I go back to his room knocking on the bathroom door.

"Edward, I could scramble some eggs for you if you're hungry." I yell over the running water.

"Thanks that would be great. Would you mind adding a couple for Jazz too?"

"No problem. They'll be ready in a few minutes okay."

With that, I return to the kitchen and let out a yelp. I am surprised by who I assume to be Jasper, Edward's roommate.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You scared me."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks a very crooked smirk, "And who might you be?"

"I'm sorry . . . I'm Bella Swan and you must be Jasper." I reach my hand out to him.

"Yes ma'am, Dr. Jasper Whitlock at your service," he answers as he shakes my hand.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Whitlock or, if I'm not being too bold doctor, can I call you Jasper," I tease.

"Jasper's fine," he acknowledges as he pours to tumblers of the freshly brewed coffee.

"I'm going to make some scrambled eggs. How many would you like _Jasper_?" I tease exaggerating his name.

"Thanks darling. Two would be great," he mumbles into the freezer. "Ta-dah, I found it. The last roast beef and mashed potatoes. Ha, Edward's gonna be pissed. This is his favorite."

"He had that for dinner last night. It smelled divine. Esme must be a fantastic cook."

As we continue our conversation, I scramble the eggs. I pop a couple of slices of wheat bread into the toaster for good measure. Just as I plate the food and butter the toast, Edward appears in the kitchen dressed for the hospital.

Jasper acknowledges Edward's presence with another wicked smile and a gleam in his eye. "Hey man."

Edward shakes his head and rolls his eyes as I hand him his plate of eggs and toast. Instead of sitting at the table, Edward and Jasper inhale their breakfast while standing at the kitchen counter. As they inhaled their food, I excuse myself.

"Um Bella," Jasper calls out to me.

I stop and turn to him.

"Nice legs by the way," he comments through another smirk before Edward punches him in the arm.

"OH MY GOD!" I glance down at my naked legs, look back up to a smirking Jasper and I blush fifty shades of red before I race to Edward's room to quickly dress.

Once decent, I meet Edward and Jasper in the living room. Jasper's throwing his backpack over his shoulders as he picks up a set of keys.

"Bye Bella. Nice meeting you. Thanks for breakfast." He smirks.

Oh yeah, I'm going to get him back. In my best southern belle drawl I declare, "Oh, you're most welcome kind sir. It was a pleasure meeting you too. I'll be sure to tell me dear friend a Miss Alice Cullen," I raise my brow for good measure, "how much you admired my bare naked legs."

Jasper's eyes bug out for a brief moment before he snorts. "You're good. You're real good. Edward, my man, I'd keep an eye on this one. She a live wire," he states before waving a good bye.

I turn back to Edward and notice a sad smile on his face.

"You gonna be okay today?"

"I'll be fine. Thank you for last night. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to see you waiting at my door."

"Listen. When you have time we'll talk some more about this okay but right now I know you have to get to the hospital. So let's get a move on doc. There's patients to see, lives to save."

With that we walk out the door and in the direction of Edward's car before pausing.

"Wait a minute. How did you get here last night? Please don't tell me you took a bus at night. Wait! How did you know my address?" He rambles off question after question before the answers dawns on him. "Mom, am I right?"

I nod.

"Okay, I'll have to drive fast but I'm taking you home. You are not going to wait alone for a bus at 5:30 in the morning. It's still dark out. No argument."

"Edward, if you take me home you're going to be late. Believe me I _will_ be fine. Drop me off at the bus stop and I _promise_ I will text you the moment I walk in my door. I will not have you be late on my account. Now let's go, you're wasting time." 

He does not look happy but he knows I'm right so begrudgingly he agrees.

When I pointed to my stop Edward pulled the car over. I leaned in toward him, cupped his face and gave him a soft passionate kiss. I smiled as Edward returned the kiss with just as much passion.

"You have to go," I whisper through our kiss and he begrudgingly nods.

"The very moment," he orders out the window.

"Yes sir, the very moment," I respond in salute. "Now go before you're late."

I walk a few steps to the bus stop as I watch him drive away.

I pull out my cell phone and type a text.

_**I know it's early - Are you up- Bella**_

_**I'm up – where are you? – Esme**_

_**Waiting for the bus (cringe) –Bella**_

_**WHERE?! – I'll be right there young lady.**_

I send her the names of the cross streets and wait knowing once she arrives I'm going to be in big, big trouble. I smile.

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter. Like I said earlier, I don't like chapters that repeat the same events but I did want to give both points of view so some stuff did repeat. I would love to hear what you think. I'm prayer to reach 100 reviews with this chapter. I'm feeling insecure so please show me some love please. **


	16. Chapter 16 Full of You

**A/N: First, I want to send a huge THANK YOU to lvk1978, jerseyhelliwell, sujari6, acw1, animeforever18, blk3660, AbK, Leibeezer, shea1223, Katiej1477, Nippci, Bc, ginkgo00, t2r35a22, The Unfamiliar, dazzleglo, and Guest for your constant reviews. I cannot tell how much your comments mean to me. This Ff writing is scary business and hearing your responses to each chapter inspires me to continue writing when my confidence begins to falter. So once again THANKS! My story is not beta'd so the mistakes are all mine; I apologize. Lastly, I like a **_**slow burn**_** but now that E/T has parted ways we will see much more of E/B and, as always, the over-the-top overbearing momma bear Esme and her baby cub Alice. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 16 "Full of You"**

**BPOV**

Asides from being part bear, I'm now convinced that Esme may also be part speed demon. _Imagine a beautiful version of Cruella de Ville as she searches the streets for the 101 puppies._ Within a few minutes of our texts, I spy a shiny slick silver Volvo strategically maneuvering in and out of the early morning traffic and hear the blaring cry of her horn. Instinctively, I jump back from the bus stop as she pulls up far too fast and far too close to the curb. _I thought older drivers were supposed to be responsible drivers? _ With great consternation, I hop into the passenger seat of the speed demon's car.

Knowing I'm in big 'you're grounded kind of trouble,' I attempt to beat Esme at her own game so I make the first move. "Nice driving skills Danica Patrick." I snort at my little joke as Esme rolls her eyes. ". . . but, in all seriousness, let me apologize for not calling you last night." _Yeah buttering her up should do the trick. _"I hope you didn't wait up _too long_ but you were right," shaking my head in confirmation. "A phone call wouldn't have helped Edward last night. He needed someone. You know your baby boy so well. I admire that you love your son so deeply and knew exactly what he needed." _Yeah, smooth melted buttery buttering up. _

"Ohhh," Esme draws out ". . . don't you even try to butter me up missy. Number one, how dare you even consider taking the bus this early in the morning! I can't believe my baby boy didn't take you home. Just wait until I see him. He's going to hear it from me . . ."

"Edward _did_ try to give me a ride home," I interrupt as my confidence wanes, "but, if he had, he would've been late for work. I promised him I'd text him as soon as I got home. Please don't be upset with him, he's upset enough with himself as it is," I murmur shrinking deeper into the seat. "That reminds me. I better text him now before I forget. He doesn't need another thing to worry about."

_Got in a car with a raving lunatic won't be home for a while if ever bahahaha – have a good day at the hospital- keep your chin up - B_

Before I have a chance to put my phone away it vibrates with a text message.

_**It's six in the morning – how did she escape from the asylum so early lmao - btw thanks for coming over last night- seeing you was just what I needed– & sorry for the way I woke you up this morning AND I'm really embarrassed for . . . sorry gotta go - E**_

Reading the last line of Edward's text, much to my chagrin, I blush a deep crimson red. My deep crimson red clashes with my purple highlights so as discreetly attempt to calm myself shocked at my fashion faux pas. _Oh, who am I kidding? I don't want Esme to see my blush and start to speculate the cause of said blush._ Discreetly, I take slow cleansing breaths.

"Aren't you feeling well sweetie? You're all flushed." Esme reaches over placing the back of her hand to my forehead. "Nope, no fever. I hope you're not coming down with something," she voices fake concern. "Perhaps I should ask Edward to give you a thorough examination," she goads.

"Ewww, you_ are_ a raving lunatic you know that? Yes, I'm fine. An examination is not necessary. " I tease back. "But we digress. In all seriousness, you were right about Edward's emotional state last night. A phone call would _not_ have been enough. He was quite upset."

"Do you want to talk about it," Esme whispers.

I nod my head side to side staring out at the scenery.

"Do you work today?"

"Not until later this afternoon." I continue to look out the window as I answer.

"Let's go to my house. I can make us some breakfast while we talk. You can help me cook for my boys. I assume their freezer is running low."

I snort, "Yeah, Jasper took the last roast beef and garlic mashed potatoes this morning."

Esme pulls into the driveway of the most indescribably beautiful homes I have ever seen. I don't know much about architecture but the style appears to be early Victorian or Queen Anne. The exterior of the three-story house, yeah three stories, is painted two shades of white, a flat pale white with a glossy darker white on the borders, columns and friezes. The top of the home starts with a dark fish scale wood shingled hipped roof, spindled friezes and columns, beveled glass windows, a second story balcony and a wrap-around porch. Even in the daylight, I can see the twinkling multicolored Christmas lights and garland outline every inch of the exterior. An enormous fir tree perfectly decorated with Christmas lights and ornaments center the large center window. From top to bottom, the Cullen's home is magnificent. I let out an exasperated breath. _Could this family be any more perfect? _June Cleaver in her perfect June Cleaver home.

I feel like Elizabeth Bennett the first time she sees Pemberley. Elizabeth Bennett is to Bella Swan as Mr. Darcy is to Dr. Cullen. I internally smirk at my horrible analogy_ but_ I think I can grow to love this raving lunatic with her perfect life and perfect home and, most importantly, her perfect son.

"What's that matter sweetie?"

I could do nothing but point to her home as if it wasn't obvious what I was thinking.

"It's just a home Bella. . . squeaky floors and leaky faucets and all."

"That's not just a home . . . that's . . . that's . . . I have no words for what that is. It's absolutely the most exquisite home I have ever seen in my entire life."

"Thank you but I'm freezing my ass off out here and, if you don't mind, I would really like to get inside my exquisite home," she laughs

I nod and follow Esme through the front door wiping my feet a few more times more than necessary before entering the Cullen fairy tale home. I gasp as she drags me to the kitchen.

"Esme your home is . . ." I shudder, "I can't even describe," I pause, " . . . absolutely breathtaking doesn't even describe it . . . just beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it but, believe you me, when we bought it, it didn't look like this," she waves her arms in the direction her home. "It took an enormous amount of planning, research, designing and remodeling to get it in its current state. Now, come and sit down. Let's have some coffee while I make us some breakfast. Carlisle should be getting up soon."

"I'm not that hungry. I made some scrambled eggs for Edward and Jasper this morning but, if you don't mind, can I ask you something?"

"Of course sweetie, ask me anything."

"Why were you up so early this morning? I don't mean to be nosy . . . just curious. I _love_ to sleep especially in the winter. I love to cuddle under warm blankets. Fall and winter are my favorite seasons. Plus, believe it or not, I'm not much of a morning person unless I guzzle about three cups of strong coffee in me," I chortle.

"Oh that's easy Penny, I'm usually up this early every day including weekends. It started when Carlisle and I were first married. We married just as he began his residency. I thought it was romantic to get up and brew fresh coffee for my handsome doctor husband. Then I would cook him breakfast and pack him a homemade lunch to take to the hospital. By the time he had finished his residency, I had Edward and Alice. Early morning became my mommy time." Esme laughs as she continues to reminisce, "I did try to sleep late once the kids were older but by that time my body had its own built in alarm clock. Watching the breaking dawn over a freshly brewed cup of coffee is now my favorite time of day. So, whether I like it or not, I'm a morning person," she shrugs nonchalantly. "Now . . . how about a fresh cup of coffee?"

Esme pours two cups of coffee then places a third empty cup near the coffee pot. I sit at the kitchen island as she moves about the kitchen making breakfast. As she completes breakfast, she plates the meal, sets silverware on the kitchen island and instructs me to dig in.

We eat in comfortable silence, soft Christmas music floats through the air. Dr. Cullen, senior shuffles his way to the empty coffee cup. As he pours his coffee, Esme silently rises and plates his breakfast. He places a soft kiss on her check and her eyes twinkle. They are two pieces of a puzzle that fits perfectly together. Surprisingly, Carlisle places a whisper of kiss on my cheek and winks at me before delving into his breakfast.

"So . . . what kind of trouble are you two lovely ladies up to this fine morning?" teases Carlisle.

"Ohhhh . . . let me think," Esme looks up rolling her eyes side to side as she taps her lips with her finger ". . . um, first we're going to whip up a pitcher of margaritas . . . tie one on . . . then we're heading down to the docks to pick up a couple of sailors. Doesn't that sound like fun Bella?" Esme asks with a glimmer of mischief in her eye.

"Hey! Weren't you going to invite me," grumbles Alice as she rubs the sleep from her eyes.

"Well you ladies have fun," Carlisle declares as he finishes up his breakfast. "Sweetheart, do you think you'll be back in time for dinner or should I pick up something on the way home?"

"I'm not sure. It all depends if I get lucky or not." Esme wiggles her eyebrow. "I'll have to text you later and let you know."

"You do that." Carlisle winks back before he firmly wraps Esme in his arms and gives her a deep passionate breathtaking kiss.

As the kiss escalates, a sleepy disheveled Alice wonders to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup oblivious to the make out session currently heating up. I stare down at my plate a bit envious that Edward and I didn't get to do _that_ this morning.

As he pulls away from an extremely satisfied looking and very dazed Esme, Dr. Cullen smirks, "Bet you won't find someone at the docks who can kiss you like that woman."

"Can you please stop? We have company and it _is_ way too early in the morning for you two to start your nonsense," scolds an annoyed Alice.

Alice and I continue to nibble on our breakfast as Carlisle says his 'goodbyes' giving Esme one last kiss.

"Alice, you _don't_ have your own apartment?" I ask trying to make small talk as Esme and Carlisle continue their goodbye kiss.

"Nooo," Alice whines. "I wanted to move in with Edward but Jasper called first dibs. I'm staying here until I get my business off the ground. For now, it's a good idea financially. Besides, mom said she missed having me around."

"So how did she trap into coming here so early in this morning?"

A grinning Esme walks passed Alice pinching her arm. Alice winces in pain.

"I did not trap her. I saved her from having to take the bus home at almost six in the morning."

"What are _you_ doing up at six in the morning?" Esme questions a half-awake Alice.

"Oh she stayed overnight at your brother's apartment," informs Esme as she wagged her eyebrows up and down.

"Ohhhhh. _Edward and Bella sitting on a tree . . .,"_ Alice childishly sings.

"It wasn't like that. So stop Alice. He needed someone to talk to. _Your mother_," I emphasize, "thought it would be better if I talked to him in person. He was upset. I warmed him dinner. We went to sleep and this morning we spoke. End of story."

Alice shakes her head side to side. "Um Bella, I think you missed something."

I thought for a moment. "No, that's it." _I wasn't going to mention our dreamy make out session._

"Well, if that's it, how do you explain that purplish hickey on your neck?"

Alice gloats at Esme as Esme gloats at me and, for the second time this morning, I feel myself blush fifty shades of red. I get up at look at my reflection in the toaster. I spy the purplish hickey on my neck and smack my hand over the culprit.

"Oh my God," I groan as I force the hood around my neck. "Great! How I am supposed to go to work looking like a seventeen year old girl with her first hickey . . . great . . . just great."

"Well, we're waiting," Alice and Esme demand in unison.

"No comment."

"So how was my baby boy? Was he really upset?" Esme asks in a more serious tone. _Thanks for changing the embarrassing subject momma bear._

"I don't feel comfortable talking about this . . . What if Edward doesn't want me to discuss it? I wouldn't want to break his confidence . . . but why didn't you tell me Edward had a girlfriend? A girlfriend he felt the need to break up with because of _me_. Do you understand how guilty I feel right now."

"Sweetie, Tanya . . ."

Despite my feeling of guilt, jealousy creeps through my core; I cringe hearing her name for the first time.

"Tanya wasn't Edward's girlfriend but she wanted to be. She's a sweet girl, I mean woman, and we all knew she felt more for Edward than just friendship but the moment I saw you and Edward I knew Tanya didn't have a chance. A blind person could see the sparks between you and Edward. Edward never talked about Tanya the way he talked about you even when he tried to forget you."

My heart races hearing that he has talked to his family about me. "Edward talked about me? Why would be talk about me? We only met a few times." My voice raises an octave at each question.

"Oh honey, Edward talked about you for a while until he believed he would never see you again. That's all I'm saying. If you want to know more, you'll have to talk to Edward. I did, however, scold him for not getting your phone number the day of we ate at the pizzeria. A mother always knows what's best for her child." She winks at me as I try not to smile.

Esme sips some of her coffee before she continues, "Once you and Edward reconnected, I knew Tanya was out of the picture. I advised Edward to speak to her as soon as possible. Tanya is a good person but needed to understand Edward's true feelings for her or lack thereof I should say. I knew he only saw her as a good friend; he _needed_ to be honest with her. I know she must be hurting right now and, for that, I am truly, truly sorry. I also know my baby boy. I knew he would feel guilty and punish himself for hurting a good friend."

"And Bella," interposes Alice, "Edward couldn't have broken up with Tanya. Despite what she may have wanted _or_ felt for that matter . . . I know that sounds harsh . . . but Edward and Tanya were never an official couple. Edward really does like her but as a friend. He really does just like her as a friend _and_ you know how we girls hate that _just friends _status. Unfortunately for Tanya, in Edward's case, it was true. So don't feel too guilty okay." Alice attempts to reassure me.

"But I _do_ feel guilty. Edward was very upset last night . . . and poor Tanya . . . I don't even know her but . . . but to have someone breakup with you . . . oh my God . . . to have someone breakup with you just before Christmas! I didn't even think about that last night. Now I feel even guiltier."

"Now you listen to me young lady . . ." Esme begins to scold.

"Oh no, you're gonna get it now. She used _young lady_," teases Alice.

"Alice hush." Esme gives Alice a stern warning before turning her attention back to me. "Look at me Bella," Esme patiently waits until I face her. "Did you give my baby boy an ultimatum that it was either Tanya or you?"

I shook my head no. "I would _never_ do that! I didn't even know Edward had a girlfriend . . ."

Esme scowls as I use the word _girlfriend_ .

I speak again. "I didn't know Edward had a friend that felt more for him than he felt for her. Nonetheless, I still feel guilty."

"I knew my baby boy would feel guilty, _but _Edward would have felt even guiltier if he hadn't spoken with Tanya as soon as possible. He has too much respect for her to lead her on." Esme pauses again. "At breakfast the other day you felt there was someone in Edward's life didn't you?"

I nod slightly, "So why didn't you tell me about Tanya when I asked."

"It wasn't for me to say. That was for Edward to explain."

"What's done is done. I'm going to call Tanya in a few days to see how she's doing. Edward has you to talk to about his feelings, okay. So enough of _The Days of Our Lives _drama, we've got some cooking to do before I head down to the docks," chuckles Esme before giving me a weak smile.

Esme, Alice and I spend the rest of the morning cooking meals for Edward and Jasper and getting to know each other better. As we cook, we gab and laugh like a bunch of old women. Esme enters next week's baking fest schedule in my phone. I'm fascinated by Alice's impending business plans and how Esme continually concurs she is making the right decision about her career. I learn that Alice holds a degree in Marketing and Entrepreneurship and anticipates starting her own Public Relations firm. When Alice talks business I can tell she is a forced to be reckoned.

By the early afternoon, I need to get home and ready for work. Esme graciously offers to drive me home. She say that I could help her carry the newly cooked meals and load Edward's freezer on the way. I gladly agree in exchange for the ride home.

As we drive to Edward's apartment, I mention my father, the Chief of Police, would have no problem giving Esme a speeding ticket with the way she speeds through the streets. Esme gets the hint and slows down to just a few miles per hour above the speed limit. Esme and I discuss the Tanya slash Edward situation. Curiosity gets the best of me. I asks Esme to tell me more about Tanya. When she finishes, I berated myself for asking. With Esme's description of Tanya, I envision Edward and Tanya side by side. They are perfect for each other in every way. Suddenly, I feel ill.

Once at Edward's, I restock the meals in the freezer as Esme gathers a few bags of dirty laundry. She mumbles something about being the laundry fairy too and I can't help but laugh at momma bear. _She seems to flourish in the role of mother. _ I notice a scribbled note addressed to Esme from Jasper attached to the refrigerator door.

"Looks like Jasper has a special order," I call out.

"What does that boy want now," she laughs. "I don't know how many times I've told him he can just text me his special orders."

I pass her the nearly illegible note.

"Looks like we got our work cut out for us next week. The staff on his floor is having a Christmas day potluck. He needs a casserole for six to eight. Shame on him he knows me better than that." Esme taps her finger to her lip apparently thinking what to cook. Esme grabs her phone quickly typing a text. A moment later she receives a text in response and she smiles a satisfied smile. "Yup, good thing you're spending the week. I'm gonna need all the hands I can get. We have lots to do."

My phone vibrates just as Esme pulls into my driveway. It's a text from Edward.

_Can't stop thinking about you - If you're not busy tonite, I would love another sleepover – I slept so peaceful with you in my arms. I promise there will not be a repeat performance of this morning's activities – unless you ask ; ) seriously, would love to see you again – let me know- I can pick you up on my way home– E_

My crooked grin gives me away as Esme's eyes sparkle in satisfaction. Ignoring her _I told you so_ smirk, I give Esme a quick hug and kiss goodbye before promising to see her early next week for our baking fest. She informs me that we will see each other before next week. I roll my eyes as she drives away.

Walking to my room, I text Edward back. _I'll be waiting. text me when you get here.- B _I smile all the way to work. I'm sure the smile remains on my face the entire time I'm at work.

Around 8:30 my phone vibrates. I don't even read it but quickly sling my bag over my shoulder and run to Edward's waiting car. Inside the car, I throw my bag in the back seat. I lean into Edward, cup his warm face with my cold hands capturing his lower lip with my teeth just as he captures my upper lip. Our lips mold together _like perfectly fitted puzzle _pieces. We inhale each other's breath. I need his oxygen; he needs mine. Our kisses become wet, sloppy, and frantic as we suck and bite and tongues battle for dominance. My fingers weave into his unruly hair as I massage and yank and tug and we moan. The overwhelming intensity of our kisses finally end with the unfortunate need of oxygen. As our foreheads connect and eyes lock, our lips slowly pull but we remain a breath away.

"Hi," whispers Edward as he sat back in his seat and starts the ignition. "Put on your seatbelt. I drive kinda fast."

"Like mother like son," I mutter under my breath. When I'm sure there's no trace of sexual lust in my voice, I ask Edward about his day at the hospital. I'm not sure if he wants to talk about yesterday so I keep the conversation light. To be honest, I have no idea what he's talking about but I love hearing him talk about his work with such obvious passion and commitment. It's more than apparent that being a doctor is his calling. He apologizes for his mother's kidnapping shenanigans this morning. I assure him there is no need to apologize. I assure him I enjoyed every single moment of my time talking and cooking with Esme and Alice.

"You cooked for me?" Edward asks in surprise.

"Well your mom cooked, I helped and Alice watched."

Edward pulls into his parking stall as I grab my bag from the back seat. He jumps out, runs to open my door and slings my bag over his shoulder. As he leads the way, our fingers instantly interlock.

Once inside, Edward quickly showers while I warm and plate his dinner. Just as I start to make a small salad, Jasper walks in appearing dead to the world. He mumbles a hello before heading to his room. I pop another meal in the microwave and set the table.

Walking down the hallway, I knock on Jasper's door calling out '_chow's on'_ before making my way to Edward's room. Edward has just pulled on a pair of forest green plaid sleep pants as I walk in. My heart races and my mouth drops mesmerized as sparkling water droplets slide down his lean muscular chest. He catches my obvious ogling and pulls me to his chest. With tangled legs and arms, we fall to his bed as our lips give and take. We suck . . . and pull . . . and . . . grind . . . and moan . . . and groan and it is pure heaven. Feeling Edward's hardening cock, I raise my leg over his hip pulling him closer just as Jasper knocks on the door. We freeze moaning in frustration at Jasper's cockblocking.

"Come on guys! Food's getting cold. What you doing in there," he laughs.

Edward and I allow our breathing to slow. I stand as Edward put's on an undershirt before we make our way to the kitchen. I giggle as I notice Edward adjust his pants. Jasper's already eating as Edward and I sit.

"Aren't you feeling well Bella," asks Jasper with a voice of concern.

Confused I answer back, "No I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, with all that moaning I just heard I thought you might now be feeling well. Good thing there's a doctor here who might be able to help with what's ailing you," he snorts as Edward punches him in the arm and I turn a rip shade of crimson for the third time today.

As we eat, Edward and Jasper discuss their day and upcoming rotation schedules. Shortly after the New Year, Edward will be working the night shift for a few months. Jasper will be rotating to another medical facility. Jasper mentions that he and Edward will probably not see each other for a while. Edward brags how his schedule included a _golden weekend_ just before his new rotation. Jasper moans and suggests Edward has bribed someone to get a golden weekend.

"What's a _golden weekend_?" I ask totally clueless.

"It's almost three days in a row off from the hospital. I'll have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off before I report back to the hospital Sunday night," Edward gloats as Jasper's punches Edward in the arm.

Inhaling his dinner, Jasper rinses his plate and places it in the dishwasher. He covers a yawn before excusing himself.

"I'm gonna go give Alice a call before I do some reading. Thanks again for dinner darling."

"Good night Jasper," I call out, "Oh and Jasper, Alice said she might have a question or two about my legs," I tease.

Now it's Jasper's turn to moan but not in a good way.

While I tease Jasper, Edward tosses our plates in the sink, grabs a bottle of water, picks up my bag, flips off the lights and leads me to his room.

Edward putters around his room as I head for the bath room to change my clothes. Preparing for bed, my wonders back to my earlier thoughts; how comfortable I feel around the entire Cullen family. I'm glad that Edward seems in a much better mood today but it also did not escape me that we have thus far avoided talking about Tanya. I wonder if I should bring up the subject of Tanya or take Edward's lead.

Returning to the bedroom, I hear soft music float through the air. The lights are off except for the dim light of a small lamp. Edward sits up in bed inviting me in by padding the empty space. I turn off the small lamp before climbing into Edward's bed revelling at how perfectly we fuse. This time he wraps his arms and legs around _me_ and _I_ hold on tight. Just like last night, he lets out a long relieved breathe. _This can't be happening. Why do I feel so safe in near perfect stranger's arms?_

"_If there's anything you need, All you have to do is say, You know you satisfy everything in me, We shouldn't waste a single day, So don't stop me falling, It's destiny calling, A power I just can't deny, It's never changing, Can't you hear me, I'm saying I want you for the rest of my life . . ."_

"What is it with you and Rick Astley," I whisper softly into the dark room.

Edward groans before answering, "Esme."

"Enough said. By the way, thanks for the love bite." Sarcasm floats my whispered comment which then begins a whispered conversation in the dark. _Late night whispered conversations are the best type of conversations. _

"I'm sorry. I _did_ try to apologize this morning and then in my text but I got sidetracked both times. I didn't mean to do that. In my defense I thought I was dreaming," Edward smirks a very cocky self-satisfied smile against my hair. He knew he had inadvertently marked me as his own. "I know it's sort of juvenile but I like the idea of other men knowing you're taken."

"Am I taken Edward?" My heart races at his words.

"Oh, you most definitely are taken. I feel like I've waited a century for you Miss Swan instead of only six months."

I turn around looking into sincere lust filled eyes. I softly place my lips to his and speak in a sincere hushed breath, "Then I must be taken."

Playfully, I lick the tip of his nose before kissing and licking across his jawline to his ear. I lick the outline of his ear before whispering _mine_.

**A/N: I would love to hear what you think. Please leave a review. I'm hoping to reach 100 with this chapter so please help a gal out. **_**Together Forever sung by Rick Astley **_**written by Matthew James Aitken, Michael Stock Pete Waterman**


	17. Chapter 17 Body and Soul

**A/N: First, I want to send a huge THANK YOU to lvk1978, jerseyhelliwell, sujari6, acw1, animeforever18, blk3660, AbK, Leibeezer, shea1223, Katiej1477, Nippci, Bc, ginkgo00, t2r35a22, The Unfamiliar, dazzleglo, guest storypainter and jadedghost22 for your constant reviews. I reached my goal of 100+ reviews. I know it's not much but, to me, it's everything. So a huge, huge THANK YOU! Just a reminder that this story is not beta'd so any and all mistakes are all mine and I beg your forgiveness. There may be some lemony goodness in this chapter wink wink. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 17 "Body and Soul" [Album Version]**

**BPOV**

Edward's breathing accelerates as my lips ghost over his earlobe and whisper . . . _mine _ . . . then languidly lick down his neck _hmmmm_. . . _mine_ . . . laying soft kisses to his collar bone . . . _mine . . . _he quickly pulls his shirt off. I push him back down as I twirl my wet warm tongue around hisright nipple; he moans and I hum . . . _mine_ . . . I place soft hot liquid kisses across his chest and his heart pounds. I pause, my lips a breath away from his racing heart. Gazing into his eyes, I see so much more than lust in those beautiful eyes and I'm afraid to name it. Deliberately, I kiss over his erratically beating heart . . . _mine_ I possessively whisper over and over. Then with a wicked gleam in my eye, I stake _my_ own claim leaving a deep purple bite of my own. Mischievously, I lock eyes with Edward and wink.

Like a wild animal, Edward attacks his prey, me. He flips me onto my back crashing his lips to mine molding his body to mine. His tongue penetrates my mouth as we suck and fight for dominance. I pull and bite his lower lip as he ravishes my upper lip, teeth crash at our careless abandon. My body craves oxygen but I crave him more; I refuse to break our connection. I run my hands to the back of his head desperately pulling him as close as possible to me but I no matter how hard I pull I simply can't get him close enough to me.

Edward's hands find their way up my blouse - my breast fitting perfectly in his. He pauses for a moment then begins to succulently pull and tease my nipple. I raise my arms giving him permission to rip off my top . . . _he is_ _mine . . . I am his; he can have all of me. _A sexy lopsided grin spreads across his face before attacking the bottom of my breast licking up to my right nipple. He flattens his hot tongue against me before he licks and captures me between his teeth sucking harder. I moan in orgasmic pleasure. If he keeps this up, I'm going to cum from the pleasure of his mouth and tongue on my breast. As his sucks, his tongue flicks the tip of my nipple. With one last kiss to my right breast, he places hot wet kisses across my chest until his lips find my left breast and he repeats the pleasure to my left breast . . . he sucks . . . and licks . . . and captures . . . and kisses . . . _mine_. I moan at his words and ministration. _I smirk. Definitely a breast man, good to know._

Expectantly, he stops, glances up and locks eyes with mine while placing a loving kiss over my erratically beating heart; he whispers _mine_. For a brief moment, my breath stops as I search his eyes seeing nothing but truth . . . and something else I'm too frightened to acknowledge . . . He tears his eyes from mine then I'm pleasured with another agonizing kiss.

My hands capture his shoulders pulling his chest to mine. I need him so much closer. My legs wrap around his waist feeling his rock hard cock against my warm wet and more than willing pussy. My entire being coils. We moan in pleasure as I rotate my hips allowing my clit to enjoy our cosmic electric connection. Achingly agonizingly slow, Edward rocks up and down. I dig my heels into his ass trapping my prey never wanting to let him go. I dig my heels into harder; he moans . . . _fuck_ . . . as I feel his body coil.

Edward's hands tenderly treasure . . . explore . . . and massage . . . down my body. I feel every movement of his long firm fingers as they make their way down my lacy blue boy shorts in search of my wet quivering aching pussy. He strokes up and down my wet slit wetting his two fingers with my juices. Through deep yearning eyes, I watch as he licks and sucks his fingers dry. My breath catches sucking in my lower lip watching him licking off my juices - my breathing is out of control. He hums in satisfaction before placing his fingers to my lips. My tongue twirls around his fingers trapping my lips around his fingers as I suck. It's his turn to groan and I raise a wicked brow in satisfaction. Eyes still locked, he lowers his fingers to my entrance. I scream out in utter pleasure as his fingers enter me.

"Fuck baby . . . you're so warm . . . so wet . . . I can't wait to fuck your tight pussy."

_Oh my, I think I love dirty talking Dr. Cullen._ I shiver.

He curls his fingers in search for _the_ spot . . . _oh yeah, the spot right there_. His thumb presses down hard on my clit rubbing small agonizing circles. I feel the pleasure of his working fingers all the way down to my curled toes. I weave my trembling hands into his hair tugging him closer to me as he works me over.

"Oh fuck . . . right there . . . fuck Edward . . . harder . . . harder . . . please baby."

Fuck, this man is going to be the death of me but what a way to go. His fingers are amazing but I'm greedy now and I need, no, I desire so much more – I crave his rock hard dick inside me now.

"Edward please . . . I need you baby. . . I need you inside me right now . . . please baby." _I've imagined this man in me for the past six months. I can't wait any longer. _

He crashes his mouth to mine, "What do you need baby? Tell me what you want."

"I need you. I want you now," I whisper into his mouth before I crash my lips to his.

I push his sleep pants down with my feet giving me the first view of his, oh my God, his gloriously long rock hard cock. My mouth waters with anticipation as I suck in my lower lip.

_Condom! Fuck he better have a condom or I'm going to explode_.

With desperation in my voice, I whisper, "Edward, please tell me you have a condom . . . I'm going to explode if you don't."

One of Edward's hands reaches to his side table, opens the drawer and pulls out a square plastic package. I exhale in relief and Edward smirks at my relief. I frantically grab the package and rip it open with my teeth. Before rolling on the condom, I lick up the base of his long rock hard cock. I flatten my tongue swiping his precum. This time I smirk as his cock twitches.

"Anxious are we," he confidently teases through gritted teeth.

**EPOV**

As Bella lies back down, she lifts her hips allowing me to take off some very sexy blue boy shorts_. I want to rip those panties right off her knowing how desperate we both are but that can wait for next time. I smirk knowing there will be a next time and most definitely a time after that . . . forever if I have my way. _Painstakingly slow, I run one hand down her smooth long leg and place her ankle on my shoulder. She digs her heel into my shoulder trapping me.

"Please Edward . . . please now." She begs in agony.

I smirk as ran my other hand runs down her other leg repeating the motion.

Our hooded lust filled eyes remain locked. Bella hands grab hold of the sheets as I tease Bella's clit with the tip eliciting a sexy long _fuck _from her. I soak my cock with her juices positioning my twitching tip at her welcoming wet warm entrance.

"Are you ready baby?"

She nods as her pussy motions slightly forward. With one long thrust, I am home. We moan in unison pausing for a brief moment as we stare into others eyes. In that moment, I delight in _my_ tight warm heaven before pulling almost all the way out. My fingers dig into her hips as I move in and out. I need to go slow. I need this to last forever but . . .

"Please Edward . . . oh fuck . . . please harder . . . faster . . . fuck."

"Baby, I'm not . . . going to . . . fuck . . . I'm not gonna last . . ." I whimper.

Bella holds onto my arms pulling me closer to her. "Harder, please baby . . . fuck me harder now. I need you. Harder."

My lips crash hers as she wraps her body to mine. Her fingers scratch my back as the heels of her feet dig into my ass. I thrust harder and deeper and faster. My mouth sucks and pulls at her hardened nipple, my hand pleasures the other mound. I can't get enough of her; I want all of her.

With an inconsumable desire to get as deep as possible, I place a few pillows under her sweet ass before my thrusts become deeper. Yup, that works as we both moan in pleasure. Bella cries out in ecstasy_. _Her golden honey chocolate eyes roll back; I'm not going to last much longer. I feel the glorious coil, my balls tightening and my legs begin to shake. I pound harder . . . and faster . . . and so much deeper. Our bodies met thrust to thrust. Light droplets of sweat drip down my chest as Bella's warm velvet walls tighten around my cock.

"Baby . . . come for me . . . fuck . . . please tell me . . . you feel . . . you feel that . . ."

I hear her whisper a smoldering _yes . . ._ before erratically thrusting in and out of _my_ heaven.

Bella's head slowly moves side to side as her body willing takes all I am giving. Suddenly, her eyes meet mine, her walls tighten and her pouty swollen mouth opened with silent cries of unimaginable pleasure.

My body drops to hers, heart beating chest to heart beating chest and exhausted worn-out tangled arms and legs. Our swollen lips meet with soft light kisses before pulling away in smug satisfied smiles. I reluctantly pull out of her to remove the condom. We groan at our loss of connection. I rise entering the bathroom tossing the used condom in the trash can. I need a shower but I can't wash away her scent and the smell of her sex on my body. I wet a wash cloth with warm water and return to bed. Without a word, I gently wipe her juices from her legs and softly wipe the entrance of my new heaven. Silently, Bella watches through hooded eyes. Tossing the cloth in the hamper, I return to bed.

We spoon tangling our our arms and legs holding on tightly. One of my hands cups one of her breast. I smiled how it fit so perfectly in my hand. _Yes, I'm a breast man I smile. _My chin rests on the top of her head. I kiss her head and she sighs.

"I have wanted to do that since the first time I saw you," I whisper to her through the darkness.

"I've wanted you to do that to me ever since the first time I saw you too," she quietly giggles back.

"I'm sorry I didn't last as long . . ."

"Hush . . . it was perfect. We can do long and slow some other time. I've waited six months for that. You were perfect."

"I was perfect?" I'm glad she can't see the cocky grin that has spread across my face.

She playfully slaps my hand. "Yes, you were perfect. I'm quite satisfied right now."

"I'm quite satisfied myself. You're perfect for me . . . feel how we fit so perfectly together," I tightened my hold on her as she squeezes back.

"Um Edward . . . can I ask you something." Her voice lowers to a shy inaudible whisper.

"You can ask me anything."

"Do you always keep condoms in your end table?"

I laugh out loud at the sound of her jealous uncomfortable question. I hold on tighter before I respond.

"Yes . . ." _I sense her body tense at my answer_ "Yes," I whisper in her ear, "I always have condoms in that drawer. My mother put them in there when she decorated the apartment. She pointed them out to me when she finished decorating the apartment." _I feel her slightly relax._ "I've never checked but I bet Jazz has some in his drawer too."

"Oh . . . okay. I was just curious."

". . . but that was the first time I've ever used one."

At my words, she turns and softly kisses me. "Good to know."

She turns away from me again this time holding even tighter. We are quiet for a while.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. You invaded my thoughts during the day and my dreams at night." As I confess, I feel her heart begin to race. "I couldn't get you out of my mind. I beat myself up for not getting your phone number that day at the pizzeria." I laugh before I continue, "Mom and Alice were so angry with me too. Mom saw how you affected me." I pause. "May be I shouldn't talk about my mother after we just had sex."

We laugh in agreement. "Anyway, I couldn't get you out of my head. I couldn't concentrate. So one day I called the restaurant asking for you."

"You called me? . . . at the pizzeria? . . . when? . . . I never knew . . . no one said a word to me . . . why didn't anybody tell me you call?"

"Bella, relax. By the time I had called, you didn't work there anymore. I begged your boss to give me your phone number but she adamantly refused. She said she could give out personal information on her employees, current or former, without their permission."

I take a deep breath before I continue with my confession. "I didn't think I would ever see you again. I didn't know your last name. I didn't know anything specific about you . . . only that you worked as a waitress at a pizzeria and liked watching _The Big Bang Theory_, one of my favorite shows now by the way." She giggles. "Anyway, once I was resigned to the idea of never seeing you again . . ."

"That's when you started seeing Tanya," she continues my sentence. I simply shake my head.

"Bella, I would have never gone out with her if . . ."

"Edward, stop. Just stop. You don't have to explain to me. You were living your life. I get it."

"But . . ."

"But nothing . . . you were a beautiful memory too. I never thought I would ever see you again. I thought about you so much it was driving me insane. So one day I put on my big girl panties, jotted down some memories in my journal and then filed you away only to be taken out on special occasions but thoughts of you kept creeping back. You, sir, are unforgettable."

"I can't tell you what it means to me that we have found each other again." I hold her tighter rubbing her ass against my awakening dick.

She pulls slightly away. "As much as I would love a repeat Dr. Cullen," she speaks in a sexy sultry voice, "you need to get some sleep. I will not be held responsible if you falling asleep on your feet tomorrow."

"I wish we could stay like this forever."

I feel Bella's heart race at the word _forever _before she gently slaps my hand.

"Go to sleep," she commands.

**BPoV**

As I feel Edward's breathing begin to slow, I attempt to maneuver out of his arms. The more I pull away the tighter he holds on.

I tap his hand, "Edward, I need to go to the bathroom."

"Sorry," he mumbles sleepily.

I slip on my discarded top making my way to the bathroom. I switch on the light and stare at my reflection in the mirror. My insides feel . . . I can't explain the pure bliss I'm experiencing but on the outside I look a mess. My lips are swollen. I ghost my fingers over my lips and smile thinking of Edward's lips on mine. I smirk as I think of how I boldly licked his cock. My hair looks like a bird's nest . . . and I smell . . . I smell of sex and Edward. _Edward's sex_ I smirk. I'm doing fine, just fine. I have a few human minutes before climbing back into bed and into Edward's waiting arms.

5:00 a.m. comes way too early; the alarm is way too loud for this time of the morning. "Go away," I mumble to the clock. Edward stirs and moans too.

Sometime during the night, Edward and I have moved out of our cocoon. He is now sleeping on his back. My head and torso rests on his chest. My hands lay across his chest as his arms are wrapped around me and our legs are a tangled mess of limbs.

As the clock buzzes away, Edward pulls me closer with a kiss. Even in my sleepy state, I know there is no way I'm going to kiss Edward with _my_ morning breath. I slap my hand over my mouth moving my head side to side. I utter a definite no between my hands.

"Please," he begs.

With my hand still over my mouth, "There is no way I am kissing you with morning breath."

"Please," he whines, "I need you."

.

Keeping my hand over my mouth, I break free from my capture's hold, run into the bathroom locking the door behind me. I relieve myself before jumping into the shower. I then search the drawers. If Esme has condoms in the side table, she sure as hell will have extra toothbrushes. Bingo! I brush my teeth and attempt to smooth down my wet tangled hair.

Edward's gathering his clothes as I make my way out of the bathroom. He smiles and kisses my cheek before shutting the bathroom door behind him.

I dress not chancing a repeat performance of Jasper seeing me half naked again. I slightly open the bathroom door and call out _breakfast_.

"Please, for some reason I'm really hungry this morning."

"Ha ha, very funny. That's such a man thing to say." I slam the door louder than necessary. I hear his confident laughs over the sound of the shower. For a moment, my mind wanders to a naked Edward and a hot shower. _Yummmm_

I brew the coffee and rinse out yesterday's coffee tumblers. I fire up a pan and throw in a few slices of bacon for the boys. Popping some bread in the toaster, I then scramble some eggs. Just as Edward and Jasper wander into the kitchen, I finish wrapping their breakfast sandwich. I pour the coffee tumblers as Jasper begins his search of frozen foods.

"Ah, the frozen food fairy made a visit yesterday," he declares.

"She did and I helped . . . Oh, and Jasper just so you know, I marked Edward's name on the roast beef and garlic mashed potatoes. Just so you don't get confused," I smirk.

"What? Why does Edward get all the roast beef," he whines.

"Because I made it special just for him that's why," I tease in return.

I pulled out a container with Edward's name and placed it next to a bottle of water.

"Thanks babe," Edward smirks as he packs _his_ lunch.

Sounding like a spoiled child, Jasper bullies, "You think you're so smart. Well, we'll see about that."

"What does that mean?" I question.

"I'm not saying a word." He childishly zips his mouth and locks his lips. A crocked smile crosses his face. "Thanks for the coffee and breakfast Bella. I truly appreciate your kindness ma'am. See ya folks later."

Once Jasper makes his way out the door, Edward crashes his lips to mine. Once again, we bite and suck and pull as our tongues battle for control. We moan reluctantly pulling away.

"Now that's how I wanted to kiss you this morning."

Dazzled by the kiss, the only thing I can do is nod in agreement.

"Do you work today?"

I shook my head no still dazzled.

"What do you have planned for the day then?" Edward chit chats as he gathers his things for the day.

"I don't have any plans. I'll probably do some laundry. Work on my journal. Wait for a sexy doctor to invite me to meet him for lunch," I shrug my shoulders, "nothing much."

He encircles me in another embrace, "I'm the only sexy doctor who will be inviting you anywhere," he whispers in my ear.

Electric chills travel down to my toes. "Well then what are you waiting for," I whisper back.

He kisses my lips lightly. "I'm not sure what time I'll be free. Can I text you later?"

Nodding, we gather our belongings and readied to leave.

"Don't argue today. I'm taking you home," insists Edward.

"I will not have you being late because of me. That is final." I counter in a determined voice. "If you want, you can drop me off at the bus stop a few blocks over. No arguments."

"Fine. I can see there will be no arguing with you . . . today at least. You are so stubborn."

Edward pulls over at the bus stop. We turn toward each other for a quick good bye kiss that quickly turns passionate. I come to my senses and pull away. I jump out of the car afraid to be too close to that man. I can't control or thinking clearly when I'm that close.

"I'll text you later about lunch okay," he calls out.

I agree and call out, "Play nice with the other doctors."

He winks and waves before driving off.

My phone vibrates as I wait for the early morning bus . . . deja vu. I look at my phone and roll my eyes.

_**How are you feeling this morning? ; ) – Esme**_

_**I'm fine thank you – B **_

I'm confused at her text. Why is she texting me at almost six in the morning.

_**Just fine? That's not what Alice said. – Esme**_

Oh fuck, what is she getting at? More to the point, what did she already know at this ungodly hour of the morning?

_**Alice? – B**_

I play dumb.

_**Jasper told Alice last night that he heard some kind of noises coming from my baby boy's room last night. Some sort of moaning and groaning. I hope no one is sick - Esme**_

_**OMG! Are there no secrets in the Cullen family?!**_

_**Nope not a one – Now where are you? & you better not tell me the bus stop – Esme**_

_**Okay, then I won't tell you I'm at the bus stop – B**_

Yup, a nanosecond later my phone rings. I don't even bother to say hello. I simply gave her the cross streets and hang up. I wait for my ride with a wide satisfied _just had mind-blowing sex_ grin.

A/N: Please, let me know what you think.


	18. Chapter 18 You Move Me

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. RL has gotten in the way of my writing; I hope you can forgive me. This isn't beta'd so all mistakes are mine. I ask for your indulgence and forgiveness. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 18 "You Move Me"**

**BPoV**

Knowing what is to come, I attempt a wavering smile on my face as Esme's car pulls up along-side of the curb. I open the passenger door and hop in. "Good morning momma bear, funny meeting you here," I nonchalantly sing.

With narrowed eyes, she slightly turns and with an even more sinister arched brow captures my attention with a deadly stare. As she begins to speak, she slowly annunciates each commanding word. My wavering smile is all but gone; Now, I am frightened.

"Now you listen to me young lady, I do not _ever," _Esme's voice rises slightly as she utters the word, "and, I mean _ever_, want to hear you are waiting for a bus all alone at six in the morning. Do you understand me?"

"Esme, really I'm fine . . ." I attempt and miserably fail to appease her.

"Don't you dare tell me you are fine! It's six in the morning. It's dark; it's cold. You're all alone in this big bad city. What if something happened to you? I would never forgive myself . . . or Edward. And don't think I'm not going to give him a good talking to the next time I see him."

"But I _am_ fine," I placate as she speeds away. "I'm a grown woman. I told you before I'm a policeman's daughter. I can protect myself. Trust me. I've traveled the country all alone and nothing has ever happened to me. Plus, if worse comes to worse, I have my pepper spray, remember." I illustrate proof by waving my can of pepper spray in the air.

"You will not wait for a bus this early in the morning ever again on my watch. Do I make myself crystal clear young lady?" Matching the cold Seattle air, her voice is ice cold and deadly.

"Geeze, what a grouch," I tease attempting to lighten the mood. And cue the silence, yup, nothing, nothing but another deadly glare. "Loud and clear." I mumble in defeat. "I'm sorry for worrying you. It will never happen again." _Oh my gosh, where did that come from. Charlie and Renee never scold me like that. Come to think of it, she sounds a bit like me when I've reprimanded one of my parents._

"There are a lot of savory characters in Seattle. I should know I married one." She burst out laughing at _her_ attempt to lighten the mood. "And, thank you, I accept your apology. Now, what's on the agenda for today?" From the passenger's seat, I can see a glimmer in her eye.

"Well, I don't work today . . . so the first thing I'm going to do when I get home is have a huge cup of coffee . . . then I'm going to do some laundry. I want to catch up on some writing but . . . hmmm, I also have to go buy my dad his Christmas gift. I kinda got side-tracked the other day and . . . and later," I draw out, "I may have a late lunch date with a sexy Dr. Cullen from the hospital."

"You're having lunch with Carlisle," she deadpans.

"Not that sexy doctor the _other_ sexy Cullen doctor. He's going to text me when he knows what time he can take a lunch break."

"Okay, so this is the plan. I'm going to drive you to your _room_," she rolls her eyes, "and pick up your laundry. Then we'll go back to my house. I'll brew you some strong coffee while I make Carlisle's breakfast. While I'm cooking you can start your laundry. After breakfast, we can do some Christmas shopping. I still have a few things I need to pick up too and then, when Edward texts you, I can drop you off at the hospital."

"That sounds great but I really don't want to carry my laundry back home on the bus," I break midsentence, "You're going to wait for me at the hospital aren't you?" This time I deadpan.

"No Miss Smarty Pants, I'm not going to wait for you at the hospital. Alice and I will surprise _my_ sexy doctor with a late lunch so there." _I imagine Esme sticking out her tongue like an insolent child. _"But . . . if we happen to finish our lunch around the same time you finish _your_ lunch, I _might_ be able to give you and your laundry a ride home."

This time I roll my eyes. _That woman has an answer for everything. _

"Fine, there's no point in arguing with you is there?"

"Nope," she pops her _p_ in satisfaction.

The rest of the day ran on schedule, Esme's schedule that is. Over a hot strong cup of cinnamon flavored coffee, Esme and Alice listen intently as I speak of my upcoming trip to see the northern lights. Esme logs onto her laptop and we hunch over researching possible places to stay and the best possible location to ensure the most amazing views of the lights.

Alice and I discuss our respective college lives before the topic of conversation segues to her new business. She asks if I would brainstorm some ideas with her sometime after all the chaos of Christmas. With my background in Anthropology, she thinks I may be able to provide some additional insight. Girl talk flows freely between us until she broaches the subject of a very early morning phone call received from one Dr. Jasper Whitlock. Imperturbably, I try to ignore Alice and Esme's teases and insinuations but, as usual, my crimson blush betrays me.

I attempt to reassure them that I am not the type of woman who sleeps around. It just kinda happened I explain as they let out a roaring laugh at my admission. _I hate these women, not._

At the mall, we meander from store to store. It's so hard to buy a gift for Charlie. He is a very simple man that would be happy with a home cooked meal tied up in a bow so, for now, I give up. Alice and Esme, on the other hand, have no problem buying up the stores.

Following the orgasmic aroma of a nearby coffee stand, Alice suggests stopping to refuel with a cup of pumpkin spice latte and raisin scones. I add a resounding _yes_ to her suggestion. After picking up our orders, I follow Alice to our table and plop onto a chair in utter relief and exhaustion.

"You have no stamina Bella. We haven't even been here that long. How do you plan on keeping up with Edward at this rate," teases Esme.

"She's probably tired from her lack of sleep last night. From what Jasper said, she and Edward were up all night if you catch my drift," Alice snorts.

I slightly cringe further into my chair at their insinuation but refuse to let these to nuts get the upper hand, tired or not, "You two nuts are definitely cracked," I refute. ". . . and if . . ." Edward saves me from their insanity with a text message around half past one.

_Sorry for the late notice - been busy – is lunch in the cafeteria around 3 okay? - E_

_3 is perfect – I have my own private chauffer today. I will pick up something to eat - u can save ur frozen lunch for tomorrow – b_

"I'm meeting Edward for lunch at 3. I told him I would bring lunch. Do you mind if we leave soon? I need to pick up something to eat."

"Sounds like a plan. Let's get going then."

Alice decides to stay at the mall claiming she still has 'so much shopping to do.' How she can still have more shopping to do is beyond me. Esme instructs Alice to send her a text when she's finished pillaging the stores. We grab her packages, walk to the car and discuss what to bring Edward and Carlisle for lunch. Deciding on pizza, Esme calls and places an order for two small pizzas, garden salads and bread sticks for the respective doctors and their dates.

This being my first visit to the hospital, Esme guides me toward the cafeteria. I'm more than positive I would have gotten lost in this labyrinth of a building. Esme grabs some plates and napkins while I select some drinks.

"Just text me when you're ready to go. I'll meet you back here. I wouldn't want you getting lost looking for me," she calls out over her shoulder.

"Ha ha, you're sooooo funny. See you later," I playfully wave her off.

About ten minutes later, I glance up to see a hurried Edward rushing to the table. I begin to rise as he wraps his arms around me, his lips molding to mine. Completely forgetting I'm in the middle of a hospital cafeteria, my fingers naturally weave into his hair as I tug on his harder and he moans. We continue our hello kiss until someone loudly clears their throat mumbling _get a room_. We reluctantly slow our kiss to the sounds of loud applause, whistles and cat calls. I shake my head in embarrassment as Edward grins a sexy lopsided grin. We sit.

"Hi," I whisper through a lust filled voice.

"Hi, yourself," he smiles. His happy sparkling emerald green eyes even smile.

"I hope pizza's okay. My private chauffer highly recommended the toppings." I plate Edward two slices as I speak.

"Pizza's great. Thanks . . . yum, my favorite." He hums in satisfaction at his first bite.

"I like mushrooms too but I prefer them in my ravioli." I talk with a full mouth. "Mmmm . . . this is good. So how's your day going so far?"

"Busy as usual. I'm probably gonna have to stay late tonight. I need to catch up on some reading and review a few of my cases." With a sultry voice, he leans in closer to me and whispers on my lips, "I'm so glad I got to see you today. I don't think I would be able to concentrate without my Bella fix."

My lips tremble as he places a soft kiss on my lips. "Mmmm, yup that pizza sure is appetizing," he winks before taking another bite, "It's a good thing you brought me pizza. I can warm up my lunch for a late dinner. So how's your day going," he laughs knowing I've been with momma bear all day.

I recount my day thus far as he apologizes for his overzealous mother and sister. I confess that, despite the fact that they were both crazy lunatics, I can easily grow to truly like them.

Just as Edward finishes off his third slice of pizza his phone vibrates. I'm fully aware that he has to leave when he looked up and begins to apologize.

I shake my head for him to stop. "No apology necessary. I'm glad we got to have lunch together. Now, kiss me goodbye and go."

He wraps his hand behind my neck massaging his fingers through my hair as his mouth molds to mine. I can sense we are both holding back most likely because he has to get back on the floor. Just as he ends our kiss he presses his lips hard against mine ending with two short pecks. Like magnetic bobble heads, my lips move forward as his lips move back. He smirks when I open my eyes in search of his warm lips.

"I can't promise when I can see you again this week. I'm so busy especially because of the holidays."

I nod hoping to reassure him that I will be fine. "Just go before you're late. Call me or text me when you're free. Don't worry about me. I'm fine." He gets up to leave but turns back, "Go now young man before I tell your mother."

He raises his hands in defeat, "I'm going. I'm going."

I text Esme that I'm ready to any time she is assuring her I am in no hurry.

Waiting for Esme, I clear the table and reflect on all that has happened to me in such a short amount of time. I think about how quickly I am becoming attached to the entire Cullen family, especially Edward.

"Bella bear, are you ready to go?"

I'm pulled from my thoughts as I hear Esme calling my name. "Yes, momma bear."

We walk in direction of the exit when Esme suddenly calls out, "Tanya? Tanya?" She walks toward an impeccably dressed tall blonde woman carrying a small Christmas gift. I stand back as Esme greets this exquisite woman with a hug and kiss to her cheek. "How are you doing dear," she asks with sincere concern.

Tanya attempts to convince Esme that she is doing fine but with the sadness that covers her face anyone could see she isn't telling the entire truth. Esme gives her another reassuring hug saying, "Everything will be all right dear."

"Oh, I bought this gift before . . . well before. I came to drop it off. It is already wrapped so I thought . . . anyway perhaps you could save me a trip and give it to Ed . . . to him. I was just going to drop it off at the nurse's station."

"I'd be glad to honey." Tanya hands the small wrapped gift to Esme. "So what are your plans for the holidays?"

Pain crosses Tanya's face before she takes a slightly stuttered breath. "I'm not sure. I think I'll be spending Christmas with my parents and my sisters. Other than that, I'll be working on a big case I have coming up. What about you?"

"Oh the same, family and friends and lots of fattening foods," Esme attempts to lighten the mood. Momentarily, Esme turns toward me giving me a sad look.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Tanya this is my friend Bella. Bella this is Tanya."

We exchange pleasantries of _hello_ and _nice to meet you_ before Tanya says she needs to get back to work. With one last hug and wishes for safe and happy holiday, Tanya leaves.

"She looks so heartbroken," I utter as I watch Tanya walk farther away. My eyes glisten with tears.

Esme sadly acquiescence in agreement.

"I feel so guilty . . ."

"Don't you dare feel guilty! We've already gone over this. It would not have been fair to her allowing her to think their relationship was anything more than friendship. It was better that he talked to her now than later. I know she is heartbroken right now but what else was there to do . . . Now let's get you _home_," she rolls her eyes in disgust at the word home.

The ride _home_ is silent as each of us are lost in our own thoughts.

"Thank you for spending the day with me Bella. I had a wonderful time."

"I did too momma bear. I think you and Alice are quickly becoming my new bff's."

"Thanks. I think I like the sound of that, bff."

I reach in the back for my clean laundry. With my arms full, I lean into the window for a final goodbye.

With melancholy lingering in her voice, Esme speaks, "Call me if you want to talk okay. You know I'm up early." She waves her hand near her ear as if she was talking into a phone and I smile.

With our final goodbyes, I carry my clean laundry to my small empty lonely room. I drop on my bed with my thoughts laying heavy on my mind.

**EPoV**

The moment I walked into the cafeteria and saw Bella, I don't know what came over me. My feet couldn't walk fast enough. I needed to touch her . . . hold her . . . kiss her. I crashed my lips to hers never wanting to let her go. If it weren't for the clapping, whistling and cat calls, I would probably still be kissing her. I'm usually not a very spontaneous person but all logic flies out the window whenever she around. I forget who I am. Dr. Edward Cullen would never passionately attack a beautiful woman in the middle of a hectic cafeteria. That Dr. Cullen would never make a spectacle of himself but when it came to Bella, I didn't care.

Lunch with Bella felt so natural as if we had had lunch together every day of our lives. I thought of Tanya for a moment and how I enjoyed her company but how differently I felt with Bella. I can't explain it. It's as if we have known each other our entire lives. We're like magnets. Our movements instinctively mirror each other just so naturally. No matter how much I liked Tanya as a friend we did not share the same type of connection that Bella and I shared. As guilty as I felt for hurting Tanya, I know I did the right thing. I hoped we would remain friends . . . someday.

When my phone vibrated I knew lunch was over. I loved how she didn't pout or protest but simply understood this is my life and sent me on my way.

The rest of the afternoon affords little time to think of Bella. By 7:00 p.m., I settle down with my warmed dinner and a stack of charts to study and review. I find it hard to get started. I feel distracted. I read the first few lines of the patient's chart over and over. My phone glows against the darkness of the window with Bella's name appearing on the screen. My heart races.

_Hope I'm not interrupting – you said you're working late tonite – I dropped off an extra- large cup of hazelnut flavored coffee & slice of coffee cake for you at the nurse's station thought you might need to pick me up - please enjoy – B_

I leap from my chair quickly making my way toward the nurse's station in hopes of catching Bella.

"Oh Dr. Cullen, someone dropped this coffee for you. I was just coming to find you," calls out one of the night nurses.

"Yes, thank you. How long ago did she leave," I ask hurriedly.

"Just before you arrived. She's probably still . . ."

I take off in the direction of the elevators before the night nurse can finish her sentence. I feel her . . . sense her even before I see her standing in front of the elevator doors.

She turns before I call out to her. We move toward each other as our arms automatically wrap around each other. I can feel the cool evening air on our hoodie and rub my hands up and down her back to warm her body as my lips warm her lips.

Before breaking our brief kiss, I whisper 'thank you' as she whispers back 'you're welcome.'

"Now go. You have work to do. If you're not too tired when you get home, send me a good night text. Now go," she orders as she playfully pat my ass.

"Can't keep your hands off me can you," I call back before picking up my coffee at the nurse's station.

The next two hours of reading and reviewing charts are occasionally interrupted by images of Bella in my bed . . . and her moans . . . and her touches . . . and her kisses . . . and her chocolate eyes locked with mine . . . and her long soft legs wrapped around mine. I have to shake the images from my mind if I plan to continue with my reading.

Finishing the last drop of coffee and picking at the last few crumbs of cake, I contently smile at her thoughtfulness.

_Sorry to bother you - going out for drinks and music w/Alice & Rosalie- text me when you get home – I'll text you when I get home to –B_

I had secretly hoped she would be waiting at my door again. I'm disappointed for a brief moment until I chastise myself for being so selfish.

_Have fun but be careful – Rosalie and Alice together are a dangerous combination – E_

_Thanks for the warning ; )- B_

Since Bella will be out for the night, I decide to stay a bit longer despite my fatigue. When the words on the patient's charts begin to travel the pages, I know it's time to head home. My eyes burn from all the reading I've done. I should probably get them examined. I'm sure as hell going to need reading glasses sooner or later. I shut my eyes pinching the bridge of my nose, I drop my head back for a moment and stretch my legs out under the conference table.

**BPoV**

I feel the warmth of the car heater as I open the door.

"Thank you Esme. If I had taken the bus, his coffee and cake would have been cold by the time I dropped it off. I hope I didn't disturb your dinner. "

"Don't be silly. After the pizza this afternoon, Carlisle and I weren't that hungry. We just nibbled on leftovers. You didn't bother me at all and you know how I feel about bus rides in the dark. Besides, I know Carlisle will enjoy his caramel latte."

My phone glows in the darkness.

_Rose and I are going out – want to come? I'll pick you up around 9 – casual dress - drinks and music- A_

I enthusiastically type back. I haven't been out in ages. Because of my responsibilities at home, I was never much of a party girl in high school _or_ college but drinks and music sounded fantastic. I only wish Edward was going too but I know that's improbable.

_Thanks – that sounds fun – I'll be waiting – b_

"Alice just invited me to go out with her and Rosalie. I can't remember the last time I had a girl's night out. She's going to pick me up around nine," I excitedly inform Esme.

"I should warn you that when those two get together trouble always follows," Esme laughs.

She pulls into the driveway. I repeat my gratitude for the ride as she hushes me.

"Have fun tonight and watch those two. I'll call you soon."

With that, I run to my ugly lonely room to shower and change. I dress casually and slip on my comfortable and warm black Uggs. Yeah, I knew they aren't the most attractive shoes but they _are_ so warm and comfortable. Besides, I wasn't out to impress anyone. My feet might as well be comfortable I giggle thinking about Edward.

Alice texts she and Rosalie are waiting out front. I slip on my jacket, grab my phone and excitedly run to the car like a teenage girl. I greet the girls as Alice informs me that her cousin Emmett will be joining us. She looks at me in the rearview mirror and rolls her eyes and I giggle.

"Where are we going?"

"Um . . . just a small bar and grill near the U-Dub. I forget the name. I haven't been there since I got back from school. Rose and I used to meet some of my high school friends there when I would come home for visits. They have fantastic hot wings . . . and drinks."

Rose turns to me and coos, "Emmett should be there already. He said he would get a table and order the appetizers for us."

I try to hide my smirk as I spy Alice roll her eyes again.

"Um . . . so Alice, why didn't you drive your Porsche tonight," I attempt to change the subject of dreamy Emmett.

"Two words . . . two-seater."

"Oh, I didn't think of that silly me."

"So you and my brother seem to be getting along." Alice wags her eyebrows in the mirror for me to see.

"Oh _are_ they," questions Rosalie. "Just how well _are_ they getting along Alice? Do tell. Do tell."

I purse my lips at their tongue-in-cheek conversation before I calmly interrupt.

"Yes, Edward and I are getting along very well. Thank you for asking. Yes, I like him very much. Why wouldn't I besides being drop dead gorgeous he's a kind gentle man. We had a cosmic electric connection the first time we touched." I grin to myself at the memory. "Yes, Edward and I had sex last night. Yes, it was quite satisfying. Yes, I will probably have sex with that hunk of a man again as soon as I possibly can. Yes, he'll probably have to restock the condoms in his drawer because of all the sex we're going to have. I'm going to have buy Jasper some of those soundproof ear plugs. You know the kind that Sheldon wears when Leonard and Penny are having sex because next time I plan on being really loud. Now is that what you wanted to hear ladies?" I smugly wait for their responses.

Crickets . . .

Bahahahaha . . . Oh Bella, you're the best. I think I love you but that was way too much information!"

Playing dumb I continue, "What? Isn't that what you wanted to know?"

"Yes but I didn't want to hear the details of you and my brother . . . that's just . . . ewww, now I have to bleach that image from my brain. Thank God we're here."

Rosalie silently nods her head in agreement. My rant appears to have left her speechless.

"So, who is going to be the DD tonight?"

"That would be Emmett. I only let him come tonight if he is our DD. He had a friend drop him off. He couldn't pass up a night with his Rosalie so he agreed. What that means ladies is . . . let's get our drink on," Alice loudly declares.

Rosalie texts Emmett telling him we have arrived. He meets us at the door, greets Rosalie with a quick hug and kiss before leading us to a table with drinks and appetizers waiting as promised.

Before introduction can begin, Emmett pulls me into a grizzly bear hug. "Bella bear. It's good to meet you! Alice and Aunt Esme can't stop talking about you."

"Ummmm . . . and you are?" I ask confused.

Emmett puts me down pulling away from me with a look of shock covering his face.

"I'm Emmett?" He questions rather than states as if I should know him.

My eyebrows furrow in question, I shake my head side to side with a blank stare on my face. "Nope Emmett doesn't ring a bell. Sorry."

"Bella, it's me! Surely, Rosalie must have mentioned me to you," he looks to Rosalie in confusion, " . . . or my cousin Alice . . . Edward hasn't mentioned me . . . definitely Aunt Esme _must_ have mentioned my name to you," he sounds defeated.

As he continues down the list of family names, I continue to shake my head no.

"Emmett, Emmett McCarty Cullen," he yells over the music patting his hand on his chest.

I stare at him for a moment, "Ohhhhh, Emmett McCarty Cullen. _You're_ Emmett McCarty Cullen. Why didn't you say so? You're Edward and Alice's cousin. Esme and Carlisle is your aunt and uncle. You're Rosalie's Emmie," I coo, "of course, I've heard of Emmett McCarty Cullen."

A wide dimpled smile spread his across his face. His smile quickly disappears as a thoughtful look crosses his face. He wags his finger in my face.

"You're good. You're really good."

Alice, Rosalie and I loudly laugh along with Emmett. Rosalie wraps her arms around Emmett soothing his back and male pride.

"Don't pay attention to her Emmie. She has a weird sense of humor. In the car, she told us all about how she is going to have lots of sex with Edward and she's gonna to buy Jasper earplugs because she's going to be loud," Rosalie innocently states.

Emmett wags his eyebrows, "You're going to have lots of loud sex with my cousin? That calls for a drink."

We raise our glasses as Emmett toasts, "To Edward and Bella and lots of loud sex."

"To lots of loud sex," we shout in unison before guzzling our drinks and slamming the glasses on the table.

I apologize to Emmett for teasing him. He gives me a one-arm hug saying all is forgotten but warns I better watch my back. The rest of the night is filled with lots and lots of alcoholic beverages, except for Emmett, and hot wings and laughter and music and dancing. I'm glad I wore my Uggs. Alice and Rosalie really, really enjoy dancing. I chuckle as Emmett discourages any man who has the audacity to approach me for a dance. Like a centurion, he stands in front of me with crossed arms and shake his head side to side, no. _Move along_ is his favorite rejection line.

I'm having such a fantastic time but the only thing that would have made this night perfect would have been if Edward could have been here. Through drunken eyes, I occasionally check my phone for a text message but sadly there are none. So I have another drink. The rest of the night is a blur of faces and music and drinks and laughter and Emmett trying to get three very intoxicated women in Esme's car.

I think I whine that Edward hasn't texted me all night . . . I think Alice and Rosalie yell at me to shut up about Edward . . . I think I pout . . . I think I can't walk straight. I think Emmett carries me over his shoulder. I think I try to focus on my cell phone . . . I don't think Edward texted me . . . I think I pass out in a strange bed holding my phone . . . I think.

**A/N: If you enjoyed this chapter OR if you hated it, please leave a review. I'd love to hear what you think**. Reviews give me an idea of what my readers thinks about the story and I'm kinda losing my confidence. I got over 10.5k in traffic visits/views but only a 100+ reviews. I'm thinking people are taking a peak but not reading or liking what they read. Let me know pretty please. It would really help with my fleeting confidence. Again, thanks to lvk1978, jerseyhelliwell, sujari6, acw1, animeforever18, blk3660, AbK, Leibeezer, shea1223, Katiej1477, Nippci, Bc, ginkgo00, t2r35a22, The Unfamiliar, dazzleglo, guest storypainter and jadedghost22 for the 100+ reviews.


	19. Chapter 19 Take Me to Your Heart

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this hangover Bella. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 19 "Take Me to Your Heart"**

**EPoV**

Jasper pounds on Edward's bedroom door. "Edward, get the hell up man. What's the matter with you? Edward! Turn off your alarm, get up"

Not hearing Edward stir, Jasper bangs on the door even harder and waits for a sign of life. Fully aware Edward is going to be late extremely late if he doesn't get his ass out of bed immediately, Jazz pushes the door and yells, "Get the fuck up now dickhead. You're going to be late for rounds." To Jasper's surprise, Edward's bed is empty. His eyes scan the room before making his way to the bathroom again calling out to Edward. Getting no reply, he takes a sideway peak into the bathroom only to find it empty.

Jasper runs back to his room in search of his cell phone. Worriedly, he dials Edward's number listening as it rings over and over before going to voice mail. Jasper hangs up and redials. Again, the phone goes to Edward's voice mail. Jasper stops and thinks for a moment. A couple of different scenarios play out in his head. Edward could still be at the hospital but a twenty four hour shift isn't likely. He could have spent the night at Bella's house. Maybe he's in her shower and didn't hear his phone but wouldn't have Bella heard it ringing? The last possibility is that something has happened to him. Jazz doesn't want to even consider that his best friend might be injured. He dials Edward's number one more time.

_Buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . ._ _buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . ._

Edward's breathing deepens at the sound of the distant buzzing sound. He attempts to move but his neck and back are so stiff he can't seem to move. He's cognizant of the fact the he is definitely not sleeping in his bed.

_Buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . ._

His stiff fingers blindly reach out in the direction of the low vibrating buzz of his cellphone.

_Buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . buzz . . . _

With phone in hand, Edward's sleepy eyes blink open focusing on his now silent phone. Three missed calls from Jasper. He frowns as he realizes there are no missed calls _or_ texts from Bella. In a sleepy haze, he searches to conference room realizing he had fallen asleep while reviewing patient charts. He rubs his neck, rotating it side to side loosening the knots in his sore neck muscles and, in the process, cracks a few bones. He winces at the slight discomfort. Raising his arms over his head and stretching out his legs, he finds his entire body tight and sore. He can't remember falling asleep last night. He must have been more tired last night than he realized to have fallen asleep on such an uncomfortable conference chair.

Edward's eyes pop out at the time on his phone, 5:20 a.m. Fully aware he doesn't have time to go home to shower and change, he decides to grab a quick shower and find some clean scrubs in the doctor's call room. Just as he is going to call Jasper, his phone vibrates.

"Hello," he mumbles through a gravel voice.

"Ed, where are you man? Are you okay?" Jasper voices with concern.

"Yeah Jazz, I'm okay. I feel asleep in the conference room reading some charts. Man my body is sore." Edward complains as he rubs and twists the pain in his neck.

"Yeah, I thought that's what might have happened or . . . you were sleeping at Bella's," Jasper laughs in nervous relief, "but I wasn't sure. Do you need me to bring you anything . . . I can meet you outside the hospital in about fifteen minutes. I'm just about ready to leave."

"Thanks Jazz that'd be great Jazz. I could use some clean scrubs and my toothbrush."

"Okay, see ya out front in fifteen."

Before meeting Jasper, Edward drops the patient charts at the nurse's station. With morning breath, he hopes to avoid the morning staff. He grabs a few towels and quickly showers. As he showers, he considers leaving an extra set of clothes and toiletries in his car just in case this ever happens again. He then redresses in his previous day's clothes.

Perfect timing, as Edward walks out he sees Jasper walking toward the door entrance. "Thanks man. I really appreciate it. I must have been more tired last night than I thought. I don't even remember knocking out."

Edward takes his clean clothes and toothbrush. Jasper smirks while Edward's brow furrows.

"Maybe it was from all that _activity_ . . ."

Before Jasper can finish, Edward punches his arm warning Jasper with his eyes.

"Thanks for checking on me man. You saved my ass today," Edward calls out as he makes his way back into the hospital to ready for his shift.

At the resident's usual morning meeting place Edward stands waiting. Alone, he has time to wonder why Bella didn't text him last night. He turns the screen of his phone face up and double checks for any missed calls or texts he knew weren't there.

She said _she_ would text him when she got home.

He said _he_ would text her when he got home.

Fuck, he wonders if she is upset that he hadn't texted her. He wonders if that is why she didn't text. _More importantly, he wonders when he became a thirteen year old love-sick girl._

Suddenly, a more unsettling unnerving thought invades his already overactive imagination. What if Bella met someone else last night, someone who made her laugh out loud and bought her lots and lots of drinks and danced close, body to body close, with her all night long. Then he wonders why he sounds like an insecure jealous seventeen year old high school boy. He chastises himself for his adolescent thoughts. _There must a logic reason why she didn't text me last night._ Mid-thought he's interrupted be the stern voice of the head resident.

"Good to see you're the first to arrive Cullen."

"Thank you sir . . . um ma'am," he yawns as he shakes off excess sleep. "Sorry. Maybe I'm not fully awake just yet."

After Edward permits his insecure thoughts to invade his usually very rational cerebral cortex, he is desperate to text Bella. Logically, he understands his juvenile behavior is unwarranted but, emotionally, his heart and mind don't care. So while the other residents file in and, despite the way too early time of day, he quickly types out a text.

_Good morning Bella, sorry I didn't have a chance text u last nite, fell asleep reviewing charts, hope u & the girls had a good time last night - E_

Satisfied his text message reveals no indication of his overly active juvenile imagination, he hits send. He's oddly comforted by the text he has just sent. At this ungodly hour, he isn't expecting a response to his text back but he relishes in their simple text connection.

**BPoV**

Bella groans as she feels a strange electrical current travel her arm. Instinctively, she squeezes her hand tightly around the object before falling back into alcohol induced stupor.

Pounding, painful agonizing pounding at her temples. She groans but the vibration of her groan only causes more excruciating agonizing pain. She searches for a cool pillow placing it at the temples of her throbbing head. She takes comfort in the pillow's coolness. She attempts to fall back asleep but the pounding of her temples continues to punish her denying any further sleep.

She painfully peaks through squinted blurred eyes scanning the room, a very unfamiliar room. Her shocked eyes shoot wide open. With her throbbing headache all but forgotten, she throws off the blankets checking to see if she is dressed. Slightly relieved, her legs scramble to the floor as she darts to the doorway. Still dresses, she's fairly confident she didn't hook up and have a one night stand. She prays she's either at Esme, Rosalie or Emmett's home. Cautiously, Bella peers out the door looking up and down the unfamiliar hallway.

In her panic, her half-forgotten headache returns in full force. With her adrenal pumping through her entire body, she feels as if her head is about to explode. Still frozen in the doorway, she rubs her temples and tries to think over the excruciating pain.

She thinks _'What did I do last night?'_ As best as she can, Bella reviews the previous night's activities step by step. She remembers going out with Alice and Rosalie. She remembers Esme's warning and now wishes she had taken her advice. She remembers meeting a protective Emmett McCarty Cullen and she slightly smiles. She remembers dancing and drinking; she remembers lots of drinking and she groans. She vaguely remembers whining that Edward had not text or called her. She remembers Alice, Rosalie and Emmett telling her to shut up and stop whining about Edward. Then she remembers she'd not texted Edward last night either. Even in her drunken haze, she remembers holding her phone waiting for a text from Edward that never came.

Why didn't he text me last night she pouts. Quickly, Bella attacks her bed in search of her cell phone. Her sudden turn causes the room to slightly spin. She swears she will never ever drink that much again ever as she moans in agony. She sits on the edge of the bed waiting for the room to still. She focuses on the television screen in an attempt to make the room stop spinning until her eyes focus on the alarm clock, 12:47 p.m. "Fuck, I'm dying and I need to be at work in just over two hours. Would somebody please kill me now," she whimpers. Through her throbbing pain, she attempts to smile when she notices a text from Edward. .

_Good morning Bella, sorry I didn't have a chance text u last nite, fell asleep reviewing charts, hope u & the girls had a good time last night - E _

Relief travels her body as she reads that Edward had fallen asleep at the hospital. Now, however, she feels guilty for whining that Edward had not contacted her last night. She has officially become a love sick girl instead of the strong independent woman she is.

"What the hell is wrong with me," she reprimands. "This is all too comfortable."

As Bella weakly chastises herself, she winces while typing a message to Edward.

_**Just woke up – in excruciating pain – surprised I can spell excruciating the way I'm feeling right now- you were right I can't remember most of last night**_- _**sorry I didn't text you when I got home – never did make it home – B**_

After sending the text, Bella notices a glass of water and two aspirins on the night stand. Agonizingly slow, she rises peeking out the window, Esme's house. Relieved, she pops the aspirins in her mouth washing them down with the water. Each gulp made her head pound confirming that two aspirins aren't going to be enough to soothe the pain she is currently experiencing. She drinks the entire glass of water but now her body craves an extra-large cup of java.

For the first time since Bella had met Esme, she hopes June "Esme" Cleaver is waiting in the kitchen with a huge pot of strong coffee with Bella's name on it.

"Why good afternoon to you . . ."

"No need to shout momma bear. Please tell me there is fresh coffee in that pot. I'd give my first born for a cup of coffee."

"Listen here missy, you will not be selling _my_ grandchild for a cup of coffee."

"Quiet, I need quiet and coffee pleaseeeee . . . shhhh . . . quietly." Bella gently sits at the kitchen island rubbing her temples. "Thanks for the aspirin momma bear," groans Bella.

Esme smirks as she quietly pours a large mug of coffee. She places it under Bella's nose before popping a couple of slices of bread in the toaster.

"Didn't I warn you about Alice and Rosalie . . ."

"Please don't yell at me momma bear . . . I'm not feeling well . . . and I need to be at work in about two hours . . ."

"You can't go to work in your condition!"

"Please," Bella moans in agony laying her head down, "Please stop yelling before my head explodes."

Esme quietly giggles, "Sorry Bella bear," she hushes, "but there is no way you can go to work in the condition you're in. You need to call in sick or find a replacement before as soon as possible."

With her head still down, Bella mumbles that she can't call in sick in such short notice.

"Momma bear, I hate to ask but could you give me a ride home so I can shower and change before work."

"But Bella . . ."

"Please, please for all that is holy stop screaming at me," cries Bella shutting her blood red eyes in torment.

"Fine let's go but eat some dry toast first. Food is probably the last thing on your mind but you can't go to work on an empty stomach."

After one more cup of strong black coffee, some dry toast, and a long hot shower, Bella reluctantly makes her way to work despite Esme's strong, albeit hushed, protest.

"Bella, you don't look too good. Are you feeling okay," inquires a concerned looking Seth.

"Oh Seth, I feel about as good as I look. There are tiny little men in my head trying to hack their way out. I think I'm going to die soon and all this misery will be over."

"Why don't you see if someone can cover your shift? I'm sure the boss won't mind especially since you're dying and all."

"As much as I would love to leave, I really need the extra money right now. I'll be okay. I just need to take it a little slow today. Thank Seth."

"You need any help, just let me know."

Bella nods in agreement then winces as the tiny little men in her head begin to drill her temples.

Five hours later Bella wonders out the employee's back door. She slowly inhales the cool night air before making her way to the bus stop.

Through her peripheral, she notices a tall dark figure leaning against a car. For a nanosecond, she panics until she inhales his familiar manly scent. Her entire body relaxes silently walking into his waiting arms. Her head rests on his chest. She feels his heart race. He lightly settles his chin atop her head cognizant that she may still be in pain. They fuse together wrapped in the warmth of each other's arms no words spoken. His arms hold tighter before he begins to warm her back.

"Let's go home," he whispers.

Bella nods as Edward walks her to the passenger's door. He unlocks the door, waits for her to slide in then quietly closes the door.

They drive to Edward's apartment in comfortable silence. He massages her left thigh as she tangles her fingers with his. There connection broken only to exit the car.

Once inside, Edward leads Bella to his room. She sits on the edge of the bed kicking off her shoes as Edward turns on a warm soothing shower. He tests the water before returning to the bedroom. Taking her hand, they shuffle to the shower. He begins to remove Bella's clothes as she returns the favor and undresses Edward.

For a moment, they stand face to face completely bare before Edward motions toward the warmth of welcoming of water. Positioned directly under the pounding water, Bella closes her eyes and drops her head back onto Edward's chest. He squeezes bath gel into his hand and began to massage her shoulder and back. A soft moan escapes her lips breaking their silence.

Edward smirks as he continues down her back. He applies more gel to his palms as he wraps his hands in front and allowing his hands to explore the front of her body. She locks her fingers in his and slowly guides his hands to her breast. She releases her hands from his as he gently kneads her luscious breasts. As he continues his ministration, she reaches back grabbing his firm ass. She pulls her body closer to his feeling his long hard arousal. It's his turn to emanate a soft gasp as she rubs her ass against his cock.

Needing more of a release, Bella turns wrapping her arms around Edward's neck as he wraps his arms around her waist. She lifts her face to his as he slowly lowers his plump lips to hers. Their lips softly touched once as Edward moves his mouth over hers. He breathes, "I missed you," before their lips crash in desire.

_Lips mold and suck . . . tongues longingly dance . . . hands grab and dig and possessively dig into skin. . . moans and groans . . . and pure unadulterated pleasure _

Edward's lips traveled down her neck where he sucked just below her earlobe as she shivered despite the warm running water. The tip of his tongue traced the outline of her ear as he again whispered, "I missed you so much," placing soft hot kisses down her neck. His mouth traveled to her wet breast. He licked her puckered nipple before pulling it into his mouth. He sucked and teased her nipple while his fingers played with the other nipple.

"I missed you too," she utters between kisses.

Needing him closer to her hot pussy, she raises her leg over his hip. She grabs his firm ass pulling him even closer to her warmth. They moan in unison as he pushes her against the wet tile. Mouth devours mouth, lips suck and pull, teeth crash, tongues caress, hands explores bodies just as the warm pounding water cools.

Unwillingly, they pull apart from the shock of the increasingly cooling water. Their bodies shiver.

"Let's get out of here," Edward groans in utter frustration knocking his forehead against the tile. Bella shivers in agreement.

Quickly drying off and wrapping a towel around their naked bodies, they make their way to the bedroom. Edward slips on a pair of boxer and flannel sleep pants before tossing one of his shirts to Bella. Bella dresses in his undershirts as he admires her alabaster long legs. Placing his Ipod on the dock, he sets his alarm at ungodly early hour and climbs into bed anxiously waiting as Bella slides into Edward's arms.

Low music hums in the background as they lay face to face. Their lips a breath away Edward whispers, "Is it weird that I sleep so much better with you in my arms?"

"No," Bella breathes back before she captures his bottom lip. Edward responds by sucking her swollen upper lip. Slowly, their legs tangle as their arms hold on tightly to each other. Reluctantly, Bella pulls away first needing air just slightly more than Edward's lips on her.

Edward grinds against Bella's warmth as he whispers, "Believe me as much as I want to continue this we both need to get some sleep."

Bella rotates her hips against Edward's long hard cock and whispers back, "And as much as I would like to continue this, you're right. I'm exhausted and there are still some little men working on my brain."

With a low chuckle Edward reminds Bella that he _had_ warned her about Alice and Rosalie.

Bella turns away from him positioning her back against his chest, her head under his chin and their arms and legs holding each other tightly. Sleeping in Edward's arms is fast becoming her new favorite way to sleep . . . and that worries her.

"Thank you for picking me up from work," Bella yawns.

"You're welcome but it was purely a selfish act. I _needed_ to see you."

Shyly Bella murmurs, "I met Tanya yesterday."

Edward's body stiffens. "Where?"

"Your mom and I were coming out of the hospital and she was walking in. Esme spoke to her for a few minutes before she introduced her to me . . . Edward? You know she is kind of perfect . . . I think she's kinda perfect for you . . ."

"Tanya's great. I'm not going to lie but she isn't perfect for _me_." He holds Bella tighter.

"She seemed really upset Edward. I feel responsible for that."

"Don't. . . you are not responsible for what Tanya is going through right now. This is all my fault . . . and I feel badly for her pain but you're not to blame yourself. Got it?"

Bella reluctantly sighs.

"By the way, I'm sorry I didn't text you last night," Edward murmurs into Bella's hair.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry I didn't text _you_ last night. I was just a bit intoxicated last night."

"Just a bit," he mocks.

"Okay a lot intoxicated . . . _yawn . . . _Oh yeah, I met your cousin Emmett . . . _yawn . . . _ I think I kinda remember him putting me to bed . . . _yawn_ . . . I think . . . I can't really remember some of last night . . . most of last night is now lost in the black hole never to be remembered again."

_Yawn . . . _"Emmett put you to bed? . . . _yawn . . . _what bed? . . . _yawn . . . _where?" his hushed voice on edge.

Despite her sleep, Bella giggles and slaps his hand. "Are you jealous?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Emmett is in love with Rosalie."

"I don't know Sheldon, you kinda sound jealous to me," Bella softly sings. "What other reason is there for you to worry about what bed he put me in?"

"I am _not_ jealous. I just wanted to make sure he took good care of you in your intoxicated condition," spews Edward.

"Oh yeah . . . he took good care of me alright," teases Bella as she rubs against Edward's still long hard glorious cock.

"That's not funny Penny." Edward argues into her hair. "And you better stop that," his cock nuzzled between her ass checks, "before I forget how sleepy we both are. I _am_ exhausted and my body is still a bit sore," exhales Edward.

"Do you want me to give you a massage?"

"As much as I like the sound of your hands all over me, I think I just need a good night sleep after the night I had on that chair. By the way, how bad was the hangover?"

"It's so bad that I'm sure I'm never going out with your sister and Rosalie ever again. They're a dangerous combination. I think Alice has a hollow leg . . . _yawn . . . _and you're right, as much as that shower helped with my massive hang over and other parts," Bella rubs against him one last time, "what I really need is a good night sleep."

Edward tightly squeezes Bella and in a halfhearted hushed tone agrees, "Sleep it is."

"Edward, would you do something for me?" Bella mumbles nearly asleep.

"I would do anything for you Bella."

She reaches down and tugs at his sleep pants. "Take these off."

"Really," he asks in surprise.

Bella nods and in a faint voice answers, "Yes . . . I want to sleep naked in your arms tonight."

At her request, Edward tugs off his pants while Bella pulled off her top. Their naked bodies lay meshed together back to chest, fingers and arms locked tightly and legs tangled.

"Thank you, this is perfect."

Edward nods in agreement. "Yes, this _is_ perfect. Now go to sleep."

As they drift off to sleep in each other's arms, Bella places their joined hands just above her heart. The low soft music fills the room. In his subconscious sleep, Edward dreams of golden honey chocolate eyes and . . . _Are we lovers Or only just friends? Come tomorrow Will I be lonely again? When you see me Is it love in your eyes? What you feeling Deep down inside? _

_Do you think about me (Think about me) When I'm far away? Do you dream about me?_

_(Dream about me) Can I find a way To make you want me? (Make you want me) The way I want you 'Cos I think I love you (Think I love you) Could you love me too?_

_Take me to your heart Never let me go If you knew what I'm feeling You would not say no_

_Take me to your heart Never let me go For your love, for your love Is all I need to know_

_Can you tell me When you look at me If you need me In all honesty? Because I'm certain_

_As sure as can be I'd make you happy Eternally . . . _

**A/N: Edward's Rick Astley song **_**"Take Me to Your Heart" **_**is written by songwriters Peter Alan Waterman, and Matthew James Aitken. For some reason, this was an extremely hard chapter to write even though I knew the direction of the chapter. If you read this chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts. **


	20. Chapter 20 Sleeping

**A/N: FYI, there may be some lemony goodness. This story isn't bated so all the mistakes are mine. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 20 "Sleeping"**

**EPoV**

Sometime during the night, we must have changed positions. Despite the remnants of a deep sleep, I smirk fully aware that her very naked body is molded to mine. I slowly breathe in the cool morning air as my eyes scan up and down our bodies. Bella's soft breath tickle my chest as she breaths in and out. Her head and chest lay on the right side of my body, one of her arms draped across my waist while her other arm is tucked under her chin, her long mahogany hair blankets my shoulder and arm. I notice faded strands of purple and the memory of my first encounter with Bella slash Penny causes my heart to accelerate. _My_ arms and legs tenderly embrace Bella's body a bit tighter.

After sleeping in that conference chair the previous night, my body feels rejuvenated, my backache and stiff muscles are all but gone. And, as much as I ached to make love to Bella all night long, there was no denying our bodies need for sleep. Admittedly, sleeping with a naked Bella wrapped in my arms is indeed a more than satisfying consolation prize. I lightly squeeze her upper torso and she responds by nuzzling even closer before returning my squeeze. My body reacts to the light soft lips that ghost up my chest as my morning wood hardens. I return her morning greeting by kissing the top of her head. Her soft lips travel across my collarbone, up my neck, and across my jawline to my waiting lips. _Morning breathe be damned to hell_.

"Morning," she whispers on my lips.

I whisper a 'good morning' before sucking in her lower lip, my tongue begging entrance to her warm welcoming mouth. Bella exhales a lustful moan at my early morning playfulness. She rubs her naked chest against mine, her nipples pebble. Teasingly, she pulls away slightly from my grasp. Her golden honey chocolate eyes sparkle with dark desire. I waste no time in taking what she is giving. My hands capture her breasts as my mouth greedily sucks. Lustful moans and groans fill the silence of the early morning as she arches her back in ecstasy.

I flip Bella onto her back as she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist. I feel her wet warm entrance as she rotates her hips rubbing her clit against my rock hard cock. We moan.

"Grab a condom," Bella's husky sleep-filled voice begs, "I need you to be in me right now."

I feel the walls of her warm wet pussy pulsate in desired desperation.

Without hesitation, I roll on the condom positioning the tip of my cock at my wet throbbing heaven. Hesitating for a moment, the impatient Bella pushes her hips forward. I smirk at her impatience before retaking control. I grab and knead the soft curves of her hips noticing the slight electrical connection before slamming into her silky warm heaven. I relish the way my hard cock stretches and fills every part of her warmth. She whimpers at the pleasurable sensation squeezing her walls. I groan and it's her time to smirk.

"Does that feel good," Bella teases lustfully raising her eyebrows before they still for a brief moment. I crash my lips to hers quickly finding a pounding rhythm and with each thrust getting as good as I give.

Moving in and out and in and out pounded harder and deeper each hitting her right there. Her legs and arms pull me tighter demanding me even closer deeper.

"Please . . . harder . . . harder baby . . . deeper . . . fuck yes right . . . right there . . . ohhhh fuck," she cries reaching down to rub her swollen clit.

"Fuck baby . . . I'm . . . uh . . . I'm not going to last . . . much longer," I moan wrapping her soft long legs around my neck. Our new position allows me to fill my Bella deeper.

"Just . . . uh . . . yes . . . just fuck me harder," she moans in pleasure between her breathless gasps.

A light sheet of sweat covers my chest. The sounds of slick skin against slick skin join the cries of satisfaction.

My balls tighten as Bella's walls tighten around my commanding cock. Dark lust-filled eyes lock as I slowly pushed in . . . and pull out . . . and push in . . . and pull out . . . and push in one last time. Her back arches and her toes curl as she cries out a silent satisfied _fuck_.

Unable to break our connection, Bella's legs slowly travel down my neck only to lock her luscious legs around my waist. I pillow my head on her breast. I feel her beating heart that is mine and lightly kiss her breast murmuring, "I'm sorry I ignored my girls. I'll get to you next time."

Bella giggles as she continues to catch her breath. "Yup, definitely a boob man_." _

As I soften inside Bella, I painfully pull out groaning at the loss of connection. I remove and tie the used condom tossing it in the trash basket.

"Nothing like waking up to a quickie."

"I'm sorry I didn't last longer. I couldn't help myself."

"Don't be silly. You were perfect but please get rid of that," pointing to the trashed condom, "I don't want momma bear to know what we have been up to. Well I'm sure she knows what we've been up to but she doesn't need to see the evidence. That's just creepy." She cringes at the thought.

Just as I begin to speak the alarm clock goes off with a loud annoying buzz. We groan in frustration as I reach over smacking the alarm. With one quick kiss, I hop off the bed. Bella hums 'yummy' enjoying my naked backside as I saunter to the bathroom.

I stop and turn. "Are you going to join me for a quick shower or are you just going to stare at my ass?"

"I don't see the problem in doing both. Keep on walking while I enjoy the view," giggles Bella as she waves me away. "I'll get up as soon as the water is warm." Once I disappear into the other room, stretching my body enjoying the feel of my satiated sore muscles. I hear Bella doing the same and I smile victoriously knowing I have made her feel that way.

As soon as I step into the shower, Bella joins me. Knowing there was no time for seconds, we hurriedly wash each other relishing our connection. We jump out before the water can turn cold.

Once dressed, we follow the aroma of the freshly brewed pot of coffee. Our morning routine begins.

"Ah, this is what I call service," announces Bella as she pours coffee into two tumblers, one for me and one for Jasper, before pouring a cup for herself.

Edward searches the freezer deciding what to have for lunch as Bella begin to open and close cupboards.

"What are you looking for," laughs Edward watching Bella continue to search the cupboards.

"What do you gotta do around here for a bowl of Lucky Charms," whines Bella.

"Marry a leprechaun . . ." giggles Alice "or have a quickie with my brother."

Bella and I mimic the little girl from The Exorcist as our heads whip in the direction of a smug looking Alice. Her arms folded in front her, one leg crossed over the other as she leans against the wall.

"What are you doing here," I stutter flabbergasted.

"Hum . . . well I guess I'm here doing the same thing you and Bella are doing."

"ALICE! THAT IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR FUCK SAKE. I'M YOUR BROTHER. I DON'T WANT KNOW OR HEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU AND JAZZ DO."

"Oh brother, you didn't hear a thing but I sure did." Alice wiggles her eyebrows as she laughs.

"That's because my Eddie pooh here knows what he's doing," brags Bella as she pats me on the ass. "I'm so sorry you can't say the same about _your_ man."

Just as an outraged Alice is about to defend her Jasper's manhood, he walks into the kitchen. Without saying a word he grabs Alice, swings her around and drapes her over his arm as he plants a long hard hot tongue-filled kiss.

Disgusted, I turn away as Bella whistles and claps for more.

As Jasper releases a now lust-filled Alice he boasts, "Who doesn't know what he's doing?"

Bella taps me on the shoulder, "Are you going to take that? Let's show 'em how it's really done cowboy."

"Bella, I am not going to have a kissing contest with my sister and Jasper . . ."

Bella doesn't wait for me to finish as her lips attack mine. All thoughts lost to me as Bella's fingers tug on my hair pulling me closer to her. Passionate moans begin to fill the air as I back her against the kitchen wall. Bella's leg hitches around my hip digging her heel into my ass and pulls me in tighter.

" . . ' .STOP," screams an outraged Alice.

With one last peck on the lips, we pull away.

"And, _that_ my dearest Alice is how is done," gloats _my_ triumphant Bella.

"I hate you," groans Alice.

"Well as much as I _don't_ want to continue this inane conversation, I need to get going. Alice, since you are here, would you mind giving Bella a ride home. She insists on taking the bus rather than allowing me to drive her home."

Bella sticks out her tongue as I finish my request.

"No problem big brother."

I give Bella one last quick kiss before promising to text her later. As I walk out the door, she slaps my fine firm ass and giggles, "You like tits, I like a fine behind."

"I'll see you later darling," Jasper calls out to Alice as he follows me out the door.

**BPoV**

"So Bella, whatcha wanna do today?"

"Oh Alice, I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you but I _really_ do have to get my dad his Christmas gift. Then I need to go home and start packing since, as of Monday, I have been sentenced to a week at Casa Cullen and then I work the late shift tonight."

"Then may I suggest the following. I will drive us to my house where I know mom will have breakfast waiting. After breakfast, I will drive you home where you can do some packing. While you're packing, you can help me brainstorm more ideas for my business. We can go shopping and have a late lunch before you need to go to work. Doesn't that sound like a plan?"

"I don't know what it is about you Cullen's and plans but I have to admit that sounds like a really good plan."

Alice and Bella spend the rest of the day together according to Alice's agenda. During breakfast, Alice regales the morning's events to Esme. Esme surprises me as she boasts, "That's my boy, just like his father."

"Ewwwwww," Alice and I cry out in unison.

"What? We're all woman here. As long as I don't hear about the details, I'm fine."

"I've said it once and I'll say it again. You're one cracked nut Esme Cullen."

"And proud of it," boasts Esme. "How about we take our coffee to the family room?"

Esme switches on her Ipod adjusting the volume before she makes her way to an overstuffed cozy floral high back chair. Alice and I sit at each end of a matching floral sofa. I love the warm cozy feeling of the room and contently sigh. We begin to discuss Alice's business plans as Esme stitches a homemade quilt humming along to the music. I notice that a similar quilt hangs on the back of the sofa. I allow my fingers to trace the lines of the stitching of the homemade blanket.

"Esme, did you make this quilt? It's absolutely beautiful." I pull the quilt down examining the designs. "The design looks similar to some of the quilts I've seen in New England. It has that Americana feel or quality to it. The design is so unique but familiar."

"Oh thank you sweetie. Yes, I did. It's a hobby of mine. I learned it years ago. I know they're kind of old fashioned but I find the sewing relaxing. Sometimes when I'm all alone I flip on some music, pour a glass wine and sew to my heart's content."

"Um, perhaps it's that glass of wine that's relaxing not the sewing," teases Alice.

"Ummmmm . . . perhaps," concurs Esme, "but they are beautiful don't you think? I have dozens of them in the hall closet. Would you like to see them? Each one has distinct pattern and color scheme."

I nod my head as I follow Esme to the closet. "Esme," Bella shyly spoke, "if you wouldn't mind, could I maybe uh . . . could I maybe buy one of these. I have been looking for a Christmas gift for my dad and I can't seem to find anything at the mall that he might like. I know he would absolutely love one of these quilts."

"I'm sorry sweetie but these aren't for sale. I couldn't possible sell these."

Disappointed, I try not to let it show on my face. "Oh, I understand. You put so much work and detail into each one of them. I wouldn't want to part with them either but it does . . ."

"Silly Bella bear," interrupts Esme, "I could never sell one of these to you but I am more than happy to give you . . . one free of charge."

A huge smile spreads across my face as I fling myself around Esme. "Oh, thank you momma bear! Charlie is going to love this . . . but I absolutely insist on paying you for this."

"No. Absolutely not. Do not insult me young lady with money."

"Please," I pout pushing my lower lip out.

"No young lady and that is final!"

As Bella and Esme searched through the assemblage of quilts for the perfect quilt to suit Charlie's personality and recliner, she silently planned some way or another to pay Esme back monetary or not.

"And don't think I don't know what you're thinking."

Bella's eyes pop out as Esme smiles a knowing smile nodding her head.

"Well Alice, it looks like we don't have to go to the mall after all."

"Are you sure Bella? There isn't someone special you needed to buy a gift for?"

"No, no one I can think of off-hand." I'm fully aware to whom Alice is referring but relish teasing her. "I thought you were going to take me home so I could start packing for my visit."

"Speaking of which, I have decided that you will no longer be renting that hideous room. I propose you give your landlady notice and move in here effective immediately," commands Esme.

I address Esme in a serious tone, "Esme, I truly appreciate the offer but you can't just invite a perfect stranger to come live with you. To be perfectly honest, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be in Seattle. I'm settled, comfortable where I'm at right now. It doesn't make sense for me to pack up, move, and unpack only to pack again when I leave."

Despite my rejection of her offer, I consider how much I would love to live in Esme's house. A myriad of thoughts invade my mind. In spite of my independent life style, I have to admit I enjoy the feeling of the overprotective mothering Esme. I have to admit I like being looked after for a change. With the exception of my grandmother, I never really had this type of mothering connection. With her immaturity and wild antics, my mother never let me be a child. For the first time, I feel like a child in this home. Yes, I take comfort in the Cullen family and the Cullen home but that feeling worries me. I'm not part of this family. _This_ family and Edward makes me question what I'm really doing with my life. Esme's question brings me out of my self-examining thoughts.

"How much baggage do you really have Bella? Be honest," Esme quietly questions. "Be honest," she repeats sensing my turmoil.

I pretend to be fascinated by the stitching on her quilt as I think. I feel two set of solemn eyes on me waiting for a response.

"Well, I'm waiting."

"Okay . . . I don't have a lot of stuff. My entire wardrobe can fit in my army backpack."

At the mention of her entire wardrobe fitting in one giant backpack, Alice gasps in horror.

"How do you survive Bella? What about accessories and handbags and shoes?"

I snort at Alice's reaction. "Alice I don't really go anywhere that requires any of those things but I do have a sturdy pair of hiking boots that come in mighty handy."

"Alice honey, I don't want to talk about shoes and purses right now. Let's stick to the topic at hand shall we."

"Bella, I have offered you a rather tempting offer. Think about it logically. Would you rather stay where you're at, a cold lonely single room with limited use of the kitchen, or would you like to live here and have free range of the house for as long as you like. Either way, you would be staying with a perfect stranger. "

Yeah that last statement was meant to hit below- the- belt and it worked. I begin to interrupt but Esme insists I listen to her entire proposal.

"This is a three story house. You can pick any room you want . . ."

"Ohhhh . . . you can have Edward's old room," Alice wickedly suggests.

Shaking her head no, Esme gives Alice a stern look.

"Sorry." Alice sinks back into the comfort of the sofa sipping her now cold coffee.

"As I was saying you can pick any room you want. Pick the guest room on the third floor if you're looking for privacy. As an adult you can come and go as you please. You could also keep Alice and me company. You have to admit we get along famously. With both Edward and then Alice away at college, I have been alone in this house for over four years. I would love to hear young voices and laughter in this house again, that is until my children start giving me grandkids and then I won't care two bits for anyone else." Esme's eyes twinkle at the thought of grandchildren. "but, more importantly, I won't have to worry about you anymore."

Esme is playing dirty throwing in the _worried mother card_ but the fact that Esme worries about me cuts me to the core. I feel guilty making Esme worry; it is an odd emotion for me.

"Esme, I thank for your concern but the fact still remains that I _am_ a stranger despite the fact that we get along so famously. Who allows a complete stranger move into their home?"

Esme calmly lais down her quilt, stands up from her cozy chair and walks in front of Bella. Placing her hand out, palm up Esme asks for Bella's phone.

"My phone," I quizzically question. "What on earth do you want with my phone?"

Esme wiggles her fingers. Confused, I place the phone in her hand. Esme's fingers ran across the face of the phone.

I can faintly hear a phone ring as Esme places the phone on speaker.

"Hey Bells. What's up?"

"Chief Swan, this is Esme Cullen . . ."

"Who is this? Where's Bella? Has something happened to her? Who are you?" cries a worried Charlie to the strange voice on the other end of his phone.

I hear my father's concern and quickly take the phone from Esme. The last thing I need is for my father to have another heart attack.

"Dad, calm down. I'm fine. Relax, take a few deep breaths. I'm okay. Don't give yourself a heart attack."

"Who is that?"

"That is Esme Cullen . . ."

Esme takes back the phone. "Oh Chief Swan, I'm so sorry for frightening you. Please forgive me. I wasn't thinking. Let me start again. I am Esme Cullen a friend of your daughter . . ."

Alice and I listen as the conversation continues between Esme and Charlie detailing her request and reasoning. I hear grunts of agreement from my dad Charlie. Esme instructs Charlie to run a background check on the entire Cullen family if that would make him feel more comfortable. She mentions that she is surprised they had never met before as they do, on occasion, visit their Fork's cabin during the summer months. Charlie acknowledges that he is familiar with their cabin. Their somewhat distant connection does appear to give Charlie some small comfort about my safety.

"Mrs. Cullen, no offense but I think I will be running background checks despite the fact I don't think a serial killer would be calling me. My daughter is stubborn and, even though I don't approve of what she's doing, she assures me that she can take care of herself. So, if she has befriended you and your family, I guess that's okay with me."

I'm surprised Charlie is having such a long conversation with Esme. To say that he is a man of very few words is an understatement. He is more a grunt and groan moustache kinda of man.

Esme gives Charlie her landline and cell phone number as added assurance that she is indeed not a serial killer. Charlie laughs and I'm shocked at his loud outburst. She has cast her spell on my father. Content with the outcome of her talk with Charlie, Esme hands the cell phone back to me.

"Hey daddy, did the grown-ups get _my_ life all squared away?"

Esme scowls at my note of sarcasm.

"You listen here young woman," Charlie scolds, "You're my daughter and I know I don't say this too often but I love you and I worry about you out there all by yourself. If Mrs. Cullen wants to watch over you, I'm all in for you staying with them until you decided to move on."

My face blushes and tears fill my eyes at Charlie's declaration of love and concern.

"I love you too Charlie." A couple of tears fell down my checks. Esme holds out a tissue as I mouth a _thank you_. We talk more about Charlie's holiday schedule and we both decide that it would be better if I came to visit after the holidays are over. He assures me that he is going to be too busy to have a real visit between the Christmas and New Year holidays. Despite his complaints, I understand the holidays are a busy time for him but I also know he loves his job.

"All right but keep your eyes open for a package. I'm sending you something _pretty_ amazing." Bella winks at a smiling Esme.

"Bells, you know how I feel about gifts."

"Oh, I know but I promise you're gonna like this. I'll talk to you soon okay. Don't overdo and make sure you're eating healthy and not just pizza and beer," I scold.

"Yes mother." It's Charlie's turn for sarcasm.

Once I hang up, I turn to Esme. "Right then you two, post office first so I can mail Charlie's quilt, my old room so I can notify my landlady of my immediate departure and pack, back here to unpack and then work."

Esme and Alice let out high pitched screams as they attack me with rib crushing bear hugs.

On the way to the post office, I send Edward a quick text. Like a teenage girl, I giggle as I hit send.

_Sorry I know you're busy but I thought you should know – no more sex for us. I am officially living under the Cullen roof. Doesn't that make me ur lil sis now? –__B_

Almost immediately, my phone vibrates and I read the text.

_**IF LIVING W/MY MOM MEANS NO MORE SEX, YOU ARE MOVING AS SOON AS I'M OFF DUTY! NO! I'M NOT UR BROTHER. THAT MEANS LOTS & LOTS MORE SEX - E **_

_If you insist, lots & lots & lots more sex – B_

_I insist – E ; )_

The rest of the day is a blur of chatter, arguing, packing and overall commotion. Esme argues with the landlady ultimately quieting her with some hush money while Alice and I pack. As tempting as it is, I do not pick Edward's childhood room but rather settle on the top floor guestroom. I enjoy the view the room offers. I take a few pictures and write of the day's events while Esme and Alice make a late lunch. Alice drops me off at work and later picks me up. We talk business on the way _home_ and continue as we do further research on Alice's laptop. With a glass of wine in hand, Esme and Carlisle cuddle on the big comfy sofa, watching the glittering Christmas lights as they talk in hushed voices.

_**What are you doing? I can't sleep & it's all your fault – E**_

_Alice & I are doing some research for her business. why is it my fault that u can't sleep – B_

_**I miss you in my arms (pout) – E**_

_I can't leave Esme will want to drive me. What am I going to say. Take me to your son's apt so we can have sex, not happening. – B_

_**What room are you in – E**_

_Top guest room, why? – B_

_**I'll be there in a bit. Leave the door unlocked – E**_

I fake a yawn and stretch as Alice logs off her laptop.

"It's been a long day . . . I'm exhausted. I think I'll head off to bed." I turn to Esme and Carlisle, "Thanks again Esme for your kind hospitality. I have to admit that this does beat my former room. See you in the morning."

They assured me that it is their pleasure before Alice and I walk up the stairs to our respective rooms.

"Night sis," teases Alice.

The term of endearment _sis_ shocks me as I slightly stumble at the word. Once in my new room, I change into a night shirt and boy shorts. I set my Ipod on its dock lowering the volume before flipping off the light. Slipping into bed, I smile at the handmade quilt covering my bed. The dim moon light slightly lit the room.

I attempt to get comfortable. I toss back and forth moving to my right side then my left. I hug one of the pillows as a weak substitute for Edward. A few times I pound the pillow in frustration. Edward is right. My body craves him, needs him.

Just as I let out an exasperated moan the wooden floor creaks. In the dim moon light, I see Edward undress. I smile making room in the bed for Edward. He slides into the bed as our bodies automatically fuse together.

Together we let out a comforting sigh as Edward kisses the top of my head. I place a soft kiss on his chest.

"Better. Now I can sleep," he whispers.

I simply nod as my eyelids drop . . . I dream of my Edward.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. Reviews make me just about as happy as Bella loves to cuddle with Edward. Until the next time : )**


	21. Chapter 21 Dream for Us

**A/N: I like the slow burn and I will not be rushing the storyline. I want to spend as much time with my Edward and Bella as possible. Hope you all stick with me until the end. Thus far, chapter 20 got over 1300 visits and views but only 6 reviews (sad face). If you read, please review. A special thanks to those who read and REVIEW each chapter. You know who you are and make me happy. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. Lastly, I do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.**

**Chapter 21 "Dream for Us"**

**EPoV**

_Tap . . . tap . . . tap . . . _

I slightly stir at a sound. "What the heck is that noise?" My voice raw with sleep.

"What noise? Hush babe . . . way too early . . . go back to sleep," mumbles Bella as she cuddles tightly against me.

I grin as she cuddles closer until I hear _tap . . . tap . . . tap . . ._again.

This time it's Bella that hears the tapping. "Grrrr . . . what is that noise . . . it's way too early," she grumbles.

"Edward, if you don't get up right now, you're going to be late to the hospital," whispers Esme from behind the door.

"Mom?" I groan. "MOM!" My eyes shoot open.

"Yes, it's mom. Who else would it be at five in the morning? Now get up, you're going to be late," repeats Esme as I hear her tiptoe away from the door.

"Oh my God! This is so embarrassing. How did momma bear know you were here? I thought you snuck in last night?" Bella's throaty morning voice cries in my ear. "She's going to know that we slept together. Well, not _slept together_ but we did sleep together . . ."

"Bella calm down. I'm pretty sure mom knows we've already slept together," I laugh climbing out of bed gathering my clothes.

"You know what I never understood is why people refer to having sex as _sleeping together_ when in fact there is no sleeping going on. If you're having sex and there is sleeping obviously someone isn't holding up their end of the bargain. Did you ever stop to think about that?"

"Really Edward?" Bella asks in horror. "You want to have a philosophical discussion about the correct term for coitus right now when your mother just caught us in bed together?"

"I don't understand why you're so upset. Yes, we slept in the same bed, together but we didn't _sleep_ together," he reiterates. "I honestly don't think mom will be upset with you _or_ me. We're all adults here. You didn't get this upset when Alice heard us yesterday morning. On the contrary, if I recall, you were quiet proud of my performance assuring Alice I knew exactly what I was doing," I proudly grinned.

"First off, I didn't know Alice was there. Second, Alice teased me first. I couldn't let her get away with that. Thirdly, she's your sister _not_ your mother. Besides, she was doing the same thing with Jasper we just didn't hear her. Fourth, we were at _your_ apartment not here disrespecting your mother's home. She must think I'm some kind of trollop seducing her baby boy. How am I ever going to face her again?"

Bella continues her worried tirade into a pillow as I walk out of the room. With no response from me, she lifts the pillow watching me making my way to the staircase.

"Edward," she calls in a whisper. "Edward, where are you going?"

"I'm going to go talk to my mother and straighten this out before you have a nervous episode. Then I'm going to finish getting ready for my shift before I come back up here to give you a goodbye kiss. Now take a couple of slow soothing breathes before you pass out."

With that, I disappear down the stairs as a still mortified Bella buries her face under the pillow and blankets. I smile.

_We're no strangers to love, You know the rules and so do I, A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling_

_Gotta make you understand . . ._

_Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, _

_Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you . . ._

Esme sings along to one of her all-time favorite Rick Astley songs as she cooks breakfast for her growing clan. A rather smug satisfied smile crosses her face at having successfully refilled her empty nest.

I glance at mom's iPod and smirked at the song playing before placing a soft kiss on her check.

"Thanks for waking me up. I forgot to set my alarm last night. I don't know what has gotten into me lately." Edward wiggles his eyebrows at his mother and smirks. "It isn't like me to be so irresponsible about my time management."

"No problem baby boy. I didn't mean to intrude but I know how important it is to report to your floor on time." Esme giggles, "I remember more than a few times your father and I got carried away . . ."

"Mom please, it's way too early in the morning to hear about you and dad." In an attempt to change the subject of mom and dad's early morning sexual romps, I wave an empty coffee tumbler. "Can I borrow this?"

"Don't be silly baby boy of course you can." Esme rolls her eyes at her son's silly unnecessary question.

"How did you know I was here," I question as I continue to fix my morning coffee.

"Oh honey, you're crazy about that girl up stairs. I figured something was up after that fake stretch and yawn and _'I'm tired' _nonsense she pulled last night. She and Alice were hard at work until she got some mysterious text messages. She's an amazing woman but she's really not a very good actress," snorts Esme. "Along with the fact that she doesn't have a car, she sure as hell wasn't going to ask me to drive her to your apartment so she could sleep with my baby boy. The only possible alternative left was for you to come here."

"You are one smart cookie Esme Cullen."

"Yes, thank you. I _am_ one smart cookie but to be perfectly honest with you I saw your car in the driveway as I was coming down the stairs. But I am one smart cookie. I was able to get Bella to live here _with_ her father's approval I might add," gloats Esme. "Now, do you want me to fix you a lunch for work?"

"No thanks, I'll just grab something from the cafeteria."

"Isn't Bella coming down?" asks Esme as she places a plate of buttermilk pancakes and scrambled eggs.

"No, she is too embarrassed. She thinks that you think that she's some kind of floozy because she has seduced your baby boy," I mumble through a mouth full of buttery pancakes and maple syrup.

With a determined look on her face, mom marches out of the kitchen. I continue to eat my breakfast. I hear her climb the stairs to Bella's room mumbling something about silly girls.

**BPoV**

Esme knocks on the door once before barging into the room. She spies Bella hiding under the warm winter blankets before yanking them off ordering Bella to the kitchen immediately.

Stun-eyed, I stammer an apology for disrespecting the Cullen home. Esme rolls her eyes and raises her hand in a _talk to the hand_ gesture as she yells back, "Kitchen now Bella."

Ashamed, I slide out of bed, make a quick visit to the bathroom and trudge down the stairs determined to continue my apology. What I find in the kitchen makes all thoughts of an apology disappear into thin air. There, in the kitchen, are Esme and her baby boy singing to a Rick Astley song. What is it with the Cullen's and 80s pop icon Rick Astley music. _Yes, Esme and her baby boy is definitely one cracked nut. _

_And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see _

_Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you_

_Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you . . ._

Dumbstruck, I stand near the kitchen island staring at the mother- son singing duo. However, what Edward does next rattles me to my core. Rather than being embarrassed by being caught singing such a cheesy pop song with his mother no less, his shiny emerald green eyes lock with my golden honey chocolate eyes and continues to sing . . .

_Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you_

_Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_.

I feel Edward's heart begin to pound as he cups my face gently molding his lips to mine. Then my heart rate begins to accelerate as my hands mirror Edward's returning his soft gentle kiss.

Edward is letting this cheesy pop song say all the things he has wanted to say to me since the first day he saw me at the Dartmouth bookstore.

I understood Edward's wordless declaration and, to be very honest, that frightens me. My heart races even harder.

Our kiss iss broken by the last notes of the song and Esme's whistles and claps.

I slap my forehead as the thought of an apology returns. " .God Esme, you must think I am the biggest skank. First Edward sneaks into the house and sleeps with me under your roof. I am so sorry for disrespecting you and Dr. Cullen. And now he plants a toe-curling kiss right in front of you. I am so . . ."

Before I can finish my apology, Edward plants another harder toe-curling kiss and I have no other choice but to surrender and return his kiss.

Momma bear shakes her head and laughs as she keeps herself in the kitchen.

Edward ends the kiss with one last soft peck to my lips. Dazzled and light-headed, I simply smile a silly school girl smile. The expression on my face must have resembled Rapunzel when she first sees Flynn Rider and I giggle like a girl at the thought.

Feeling slightly cocky from my reaction, Edward turns to give his mom a quick hug and wink goodbye before quickly kissing me one last time. "I'll text you later," he whispers near my ear which causes my skin to shiver. Dazzled again, all I can do is nod and smile as I my twinkling eyes follow Edward leave for the day. I lick my lips tasting Edward and butter and maple syrup on my lips. I close my eyes and hum in satisfaction.

"Well when you're finished fantasizing about my baby boy, sit down and eat your breakfast. We have lots of cooking and baking to get to today."

Embarrassed, I sit and cut into my plate of pancakes attempting to avoid Esme's eyes. Esme giggles as she replays her song singing along loudly. This time I listen more closely to the lyrics as my thoughts wonder to Edward . . . and the Cullen family . . . and my family . . . and the current direction of my life.

We spend the rest of the day cooking and baking and talking about everything and nothing in particular. Every so often I think back to my own mother and childhood and how the aromas that filled the Cullen house never filled my childhood home. It wasn't just the smell of baked cookies and breads and pies. It was the smell of a real home, a real family.

**EPoV**

On the drive to the hospital, I think how shy Bella suddenly felt in front of my mother. What had happened to his outspoken no holds barred Bella? Calm blankets my thoughts as I consider how all my life plans are falling into place but, more importantly, how perfectly Bella fits into my plans. I also think how perfectly she fit in my arms and how perfectly I fit in her. A sly smirk at crosses my face at that last image.

I make it to the hospital early enough to review some cases and make a few notations. Between juggling morning rounds, lab work and case reviews, the morning flies by. It isn't until after one that I have an opportunity to take a quick lunch break. I grab some notes making my way to the cafeteria for a quick lunch.

As I search for a free table, I immediately recognize the voice calling my name. I look up in the direction of my father's voice and waving hand.

"Hey dad what are you doing at the hospital today? Don't you usually take a couple of weeks off during the holiday?"

"Yeah normally I do but your mom, Alice and Bella banished me from the house. Apparently, they didn't like that I kept helping myself to samples. Alice said I had ruined the Christmas cookie aesthetic," he snickers "so I thought I would come and check in on one of my patients."

As dad and I eat lunch, we talked about one of my more problematic patients and possible diagnosis and treatment.

Changing the subject I ask, "So what are they baking that you couldn't resist the temptation?"

"The question is more like what weren't they baking," laughs Carlisle. "Mom has the dining room table and kitchen-island filled to capacity with baked goods . . . and that Bella of yours is a pretty good baker. I snuck a taste of her mouth-watering pumpkin bread. Mmm, mmm, good."

As dad raves on and on about the tasty delicious goodness currently at the Cullen household, I boldly interrupt and declare, "I know our relationship is new dad but Bella's it for me."

My outburst stops dad mid-sentence all playfulness gone in his voice.

Between Esme and Carlisle, Carlisle has always been the voice of reason. Carlisle is thoughtful before he speaks. "Son, in all seriousness, if it was up to your mother, she and Alice would already be planning your wedding as we speak."

Knowing my mother and sister, I nod in agreement as dad continues, "From the _little_ time I've spent with Bella, your mother tends to monopolize her you know," he grunts, "anyway, from the time _I have _spent with her, I can see why you are so taken with her. She is obviously beautiful, even with that purple hair of hers," Carlisle comments.

"Hey! I like her purple hair," I protests.

"Of course you do son. She's_ your_ Bella. You like everything about her. I knew it months ago. Don't forget I sat next to you on the plane ride home," Carlisle reminds me.

At my father's words, a hint of pink floods my cheeks as I desperately trying to recall my Bella dream and what I could have possibly said in my sleep.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Carlisle continues, "she's a beautiful young woman, fiercely independent, intelligent and possesses one hell of a wicked sense of humor. What's not to love?"

Carlisle throws out that last comment about _love_ to gage my reaction. He waits for me to deny that he loves Bella. Edward doesn't say a word and _that_ speaks volumes to Carlisle.

"I love you son. Someday you are going to be a great doctor and surgeon. A medical career has always been part of your plan. I also know your plans also include marriage. What you need to understand . . . consider is that being a doctor's wife is not an easy job. Your mom, God bless her soul, makes it appear so effortless. Being a surgeon's wife can be very lonely at times. Why do you think your mom has so many different hobbies? There are long hours at the hospital and late night emergency calls. A weaker woman might start to question your long absences from home. You are going to need a woman who is willing to acknowledge your professional commitment and dedication and not resent you for it. I recently read that the divorce rate among surgeons is higher than most other specialists."

"Dad, I'm not planning on asking Bella to marry me tomorrow," I protest.

"I know you're not going to ask her tomorrow. You're much too pragmatic for such a spontaneous unplanned gesture," he snorts. "I'm playing devil's advocate here. I want you to really think about your plans. I want you and your sister to have what your mom and I have had. When you get married you mom and I hope it will be forever."

"I hope so too dad but what does any of this have to do with Bella?"

"Now remember Edward, I'm playing devil's advocate here okay. Have you really talked to Bella about _her_ plans?" Carlisle waits for a response. "You're mom already loves that girl and never stops talking about her so I probably know more things about her than you do right now. For instance, did you know she is planning on leaving soon? I think she's going somewhere up north, Canada or possibly Alaska."

My heart races at the news of _my_ Bella leaving. I didn't know she plans on leaving soon. I stammer, "What . . . what do you mean she's leaving soon?"

"Exactly my point son. Before things go any further between you and Bella, you need to sit down and have a long hard talk about _your_ future plans and _her_ future plans. You're my son and I love you. I don't ever want to see you get hurt and I don't want this to affect your career." Carlisle pauses for a moment attempting to gage his son's reaction to his fatherly advice. "I've seen resident's work suffer when they were experiencing personal problems at home. Son, I don't want that to happen to you. You and Bella need to . . ."

Carlisle's sentence is interrupted by his cell phone. After a brief conversation, dad apologizes explaining he has an emergency with the patient he had checked on earlier.

Stunned by the news of Bella leaving soon, I can only nod as my father rushes out of the cafeteria. Carlisle's words play over and over in my mind. _'Did you know she is planning on leaving soon?'_ _'Did you know she is planning on leaving soon?' 'Did you know she is planning on leaving soon?'_

Anxiously, my eyes roam the cafeteria looking for no one in particular while I try to grasp the news of Bella's impending departure. Without thought, I snatch my cell phone from my lab coat pocket to quickly type a text.

_Do you work tonight? – E_

Almost instantaneously, I receive a text message back.

_**Yes, why? – B**_

_What time are you off? – E_

_**Got the late shift, 11pm – B**_

_I'll pick you up – E_

_**NO YOU WILL NOT! YOU HAVE BEEN UP SINCE 5AM! WHEN YOU GET OFF WORK GO HOME, TAKE A SHOWER, GET SOMETHING TO EAT AND GET A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP! DREAM OF ME ; ) THAT'S AN ORDER YOUNG MAN – B **_

Bella is in a playful mood and almost immediately sends another text. I, on the other hand, can only think about the fact that my Bella is leaving soon.

_Or you can sneak into my room again since momma bear doesn't mind. I'd love to slip into my bed and find you there sleeping . . . if you want – B_

_How are you getting home –E_

_Alice, Rosalie & Emmett are meeting for a late dinner and drinks - B_

_Good, then I'll be there when you get home – E_

_See you tonight –B_

In an almost out of body experience, I rise, throw my trash away, place my tray on top of the stack and return to my floor. All I can focus on is my father's words _'Did you know she is planning on leaving soon?' 'Did you know she is planning on leaving soon?' 'Did you know she is planning on leaving soon?' _I feel like one of those movies where the actor stands still as the rest of the world speeds by in fast forward.

My hectic day and evening consist of caseloads, patients, lab work and thoughts of my Bella leaving soon. My heart aches at the thought of her _ever_ leaving. I need to get this _leaving _misunderstanding cleared up as soon as possible; I can't allow my personal life blur into my professional life. At the hospital, it is imperative that the patients are my primary concern. I never anticipated being distracted by my personal life. This rather large bump in the road is most definitely not part of my plan.

As soon as my shift ends, I head to my apartment; I take a lightening quick shower, throw some clothes in a duffle bag for tomorrow's shift and head home to wait for Bella.

From the living room window, Esme spies Edward's car pull up the driveway. She smiles knowing her baby boy is home.

I knock on the Christmas decorated door, calls out a 'hello' before walking toward the kitchen. My senses are assaulted by the mixture of freshly baked goodies and roast beef. My stomach growls at the aromas that fill the air. I had been in such a big hurry to see Bella that I had forgotten to grab something for dinner.

I call out a quick hello to dad who is reading a medical journal in the family room. Carlisle returns a slight wave as he returns to his reading.

Esme plates a serving of roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes and some steamed broccoli. She knew her baby boy would be in dire need of some comfort food today. She places the plate on a free corner of the island, grabs cold bottle of beer from the refrigerator and sets it in front of the dinner plate. She kisses her son's forehead before making her way back to the family room. Despite her normally overbearing behavior, she's fully aware that her baby boy needs some alone time to think about his current state of unsettled affairs.

I sit alone in the kitchen contemplating the very idea of Bella leaving soon. I had too many unanswered questions bouncing around in my head. How will I cope with her gone? How long would she be gone? Will she be back or will she move again? How will I sleep without her? How will she sleep without me? How will I function without her?

Despite my sudden hunger, I play with my food sliding the fork through the mashed potatoes creating nonsensical designs while I think. I guess I lost my appetite. I get up and rinse the plate before placing it in the dishwasher. The forgotten cold bottle sits on the island top creating a ring of water.

Passing the family room, I call out that I'm going to bed to no one in particular.

"Good night my baby boy," Esme calls out in a soft worried voice.

Once I make my way up to Bella's room, I methodically readied for bed. I set his alarm for five in the morning. I place my iPod on the dock and hit the play button before lowering the volume to a near soft hum. I climb into Bella's bed, reach over and turn off the lamp.

Laying my head on Bella's pillow, I close my eyes and inhale Bella's scent of freeshia . . . strawberry . . . wisteria . . . of her being. A painful smile crosses my pained face. I inhale again as I dwell on the possibility of losing her now. I've just found her. I couldn't lose her so soon. I wouldn't lose her. She is my forever.

Despite the myriad of colliding thoughts, I fall asleep.

. . . _Bella laughed as Edward twirled her around the dance floor . . . her long white dress sparkled in the moonlight . . . he pulled her back into his arms as he sang . . . _

_When I fall in love it will be forever . . .Or I'll never fall in love . . . In a restless world like this is. . . Love is ended before it's begun . . .And too many moonlight kisses . . . Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun . . . When I give my heart it will be completely . . . Or I'll never give my heart . . . And the moment I can feel that . . . You feel that way too . . . Is when I fall in love . . . _

_With you And the moment I can feel that . . You feel that way too . . . Is when I fall in love . . . With you_

_He melted into her loving arms . . . _

"You're talking in your sleep again," Bella whispers into my ear.

"Hmmmm? What did I say," I mumble with a gruff sleepy voice. My arms find their way around Bella's torso as we tenderly locked arms.

"I think you were singing," she yawns. "Something about moonlight kisses . . . I missed you today," she says through another yawn as she wraps her legs around mine.

"I missed you too."

Bella twists her body around and presses three soft kisses to my waiting lips before molding her body to mine. "Good night babe. Go back to sleep." Bella pats my hand and relaxes into my embrace.

In a near silent pain-ridden whisper, I plead, "Why didn't you tell me you're leaving soon?"

Bella inhales a sharp breathe of air. "Wh . . . what?"

**A/N: This chapter is not betad so all mistakes are definitely mine.**_** Never Gonna Give You Up **_**sung by Rick Astley and written by Peter Alan Waterman, Matthew James Aitken, Mike Stock. **_**When I Fall in Love**_** sung by Rick Astley and written by Victor Young and Edward Heyman**.


	22. Chapter 22 Hold Me In Your Arms

**A/N: I know the direction of my story and how it will end. I'm not sure how many chapters it will take to get there. I'm anticipating a few more chapters of smooth sailing before we hit some rough seas. This chapter's narration alternates between Edward and Bella. Thank you to hcribley and Michaela18 for your comments. I revise a few of my mistakes and identified the POVs. I hope this fixes the problem! Let me know what you think. P.S. This chapter was originally called "No Condoms" so you know there will be some lemony goodness this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I know Stephenie Meyer owns it. Lucky duck! I also don't own Sheldon or Penny either.**

**Chapter 22 "Hold Me in Your Arms" [7" Version]**

**EPoV**

"Why didn't you tell me you're leaving soon," I repeat slightly louder this time more to myself than Bella, saying the words out loud make the possibility of her actually leaving a reality that I must acknowledge.

"I . . . I . . . I _was_ going to tell you as soon as I had definite plans." Despite her exhaustion, Bella's voice falters, her heart races.

Instantaneously, I'm rattled with guilt for causing her such a heightened state of anxiety. Just like mine, her heart feels as if it is about to be ripped from her chest but . . . I _need_ some answers. Burying the fear of my _own_ impending heartache at the mere mention of _my_ Bella leaving, I need to reassure her that I am here for her. I place the palm of my hand above her scared racing heart lightly patterning small circles to soother her racing heart.

She places her hand over mine both feeling that slight jolt of our _cosmic electrical connection. _Her hand jumps at the shock but my mind is invading with the memory of our first touch. Then, despite her fears, a small smile crosses her face. She inhales a slow deep cleansing breath attempting to control her voice before speaking.

"Edward, I'm going up north . . . either Canada or Alaska to see the Aurora Borealis . . . you know, the Northern Light." Her words stammer a bit to get out.

"Yes, I know what the Northern Lights are Bella. I grew up in Seattle remember." I try to mask the hurt in my voice but my response can't hide its biting sarcasm. She shudders at my tone. Realizing how the tone of my voice has wounded her, I take a few seconds before I reiterate in a palliative whisper, "Bella, when are you leaving?"

We're each being overly cautious with our choice of words and responses. I realize that we need to have a _real_ talk about so many things; we need to know everything about each other, no secrets or surprises before it's too late. We need to address the pink elephant in the room. I fear my heart would be irrevocably broken if Seattle is just a pin on a map for her, to be honest, if she left me forever.

Before answering, Bella turns in my arms; we are face to face. Her eyes tell me what she feels rubbing against her. Undeniably, I yearn for our bodies to be one but now isn't the appropriate time. If she repositions herself, there will be no turning back and talking will be the last thing on both our minds. We can't solve this problem with sex. I know that even in the darkness, she senses the hurt and pain in my eyes.

_**BPoV**_

The fact that Edward is so hurt by my leaving frightens me. Staring into his eyes, my mind is bombarded with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. If I am being completely honest with myself, these thoughts and emotions scare the shit out of me.

"I am planning on going mid-January," I whisper into his pained eyes. I repeat, "I'm probably going mid-January for a week or two at the most. Then I'm going to visit my dad for a week or until we drive each other insane," I snort hoping to make light of the conversation. "The holidays are always so busy for him. Once they're over, he'll have more free time for a real visit anyway."

Edward squeezes his eyes shut. "That means you'll be gone almost a month." He seems to be speaking to himself more than to me.

I firmly cup Edward's face and whisper, "Edward," but like an obstinate child, his eyes remain shut.

"Edward, please open your eyes and look at me . . . please," I beg. "Please."

I hear the pain in _her _voice. Slowly, I respond to her plea. With just the thin stream of clouded moonlight, I can still see her agonizing golden honey brown eyes and, instantly, a wave of guilt washes over me causing more pain.

"Edward, yes I will be gone for about three or four weeks but I _promise_ I _will_ be back."

At my words, he squeezes his eyes attempting to shut out the pain.

I vehemently shake my head side to side. I need to get his attention. "Edward, look at me," I speak more forcefully this time. "I. will. Be. Back. Okay? I. Promise." Trying to lighten the mood, I add, "Girl Scout's honor."

"Bella, do you promise you'll come back?" I'm startled by the sound of desperation in his voice and, even more, by the tears filling his eyes.

At his emotional plea, tears fill the rims of my eyes. I try to respond before my treacherous tears have a chance to slide down my cheeks. "Yes, Edward. I promise. I will always come back to you." My promise is barely spoken when Edward crashes his lips to mine. Our fallen tears mingle as I don't hesitate to move my body as close to him as humanly possible. Well, as close as I can be since we're both wearing our night clothes.

**EPoV**

I'm fully aware of my childish behavior but she is a ghost returned to give my lonely life a life. I lost her once before, I cannot lose her ever again.

She weaves her fingers through my hair and tugs yearningly. She's fully aware of how what that does to me and how much she needs every part of me; her fingers send a sensuous tingles to my toes. We passionately kiss. I groan and she smirks. One of my hands has found its way to the small of her back holding her tighter while the other hands cups her round firm ass. I can't resist grinding my rock hard cock against her warm heat. She moans and now it was my turn to smirk.

Never wanting to break our connection but in desperate need of oxygen, I place soft kisses down Bella's neck. I suck feeding on her and smirk as she lifts her head to give me more access. At her pulse point, I suck harder consuming her like a seventeen year old boy. I know I'm going to leave a mark claiming what is mine but I didn't care. I want everyone to know Bella is _mine_ in every way. The harder I suck the more she moans. Under my shirt, her hands desperately claw up my back. I grab her earlobe with my teeth and she hisses. With the tip of my tongue, I lick her lobe before tracing the outline of her ear with my warm wet tongue leaving her breathless. My hot breath makes her shiver with desire; I smile again before whispering _mine_.

_**BPoV**_

Drunk with need, I can do nothing but respond with a whimper before I whisper _mine _in return_._ At this moment, I can care less that, once again, I will be going into work with a hickey from my wicked doctor.

"So uh . . . _kiss on the neck_ . . . I guess . . . _kiss and suck_ _the neck_ . . . that was . . . uh . . . _suck and grind my cock against her wet slit _. . . our first fight huh? I've . . . _kisses on the lips _. . . heard um . . . _more_ _kisses_ . . . that we have to have make-up sex . . . _suck on lower lip and grind_ . . . after a fight," Edward implores.

I let out a low moan and giggle between kisses, "Oh Edward . . . _mmmm that feels so good_ . . . . um that wasn't a fight . . . _ohhhhh yes_ . . . That was . . . _mmmmm_ . . . a conversation." For a brief moment, I reluctantly pull away from him to speak, "Believe me, when we have our first fight the entire neighborhood will know it," I promise with a wicked laugh. "FYI, I kinda have a bad temper when pushed too far."

"Well, can we have sex anyway?" He begs breathless while attacking my swollen lips. He rubs his straining cock against my clit and we both hissed in wanton pleasure.

With a breathless pant, I whimper into his mouth, "Pleaseeee tell me you have a condom?"

At the word condom, Edward's eyes pop open. "Condom! Shit, I don't have a condom and . . . my mom's accommodating but I'm relatively sure she didn't supply your nightstand a drawer full of condoms."

My body stiffens at the realization that there will be no sex. I groan, "No condom."

**EPoV**

"No condom." I state dejectedly; I'm fairly sure I my rock hard cock whimpers too.

With a playfully wicked twinkle in her eyes, Bella disappears under the sheets. She pushes my t-shirt up replacing his shirt with wet warm kisses that travel down my chest. Her warm tongue licks and sucks a trail of kisses from my chest to my naval. Teasing me, she twirls the tip of her wet tongue into the small cavity; I jerk in anticipation, a sly giggle escapes as she travels in the direction of my weeping cock. I'm breathless. Her lips settle to my left hipbone for a moment before she begins her attack. She kisses and sucks hard making sure to claim me as hers; she whispers _mine _as our eyes meet_. _She pushes down my sleep pants releasing my aching cock. She let my cock bounce against my stomach before licking her way up the shaft and place a soft kiss on the head. She then spread her legs, reaches down to her slit coating her fingers with her wetness.

I hiss as she wraps her slick fingers around my throbbing shaft; she pumps up and down several times. I kick the blankets off so I can see her take control of the body she owns.

"Fuck baby," I utter, "that feels so good." My hooded eyes lock with hers as she sticks out her tongue again. My breathe hitches as she flattens her tongue against my weeping tip. She moves her tongue across my slit before taking in as much as she can with her hot greedy mouth. Her slick hand firmly traps what her mouth can't. I try to keep my eyes on her but my eyes and head roll back from the pure pleasure of her mouth. My entire being quivers in the pleasure invading my body. I have lost all control. Involuntarily, my hands make their way into her hair, guiding her to my pure unadulterated surrender.

Bella's tongue continues to lick my cock before moving her mouth up and down sucking and humming. The warmth of her mouth and the vibration of her hums continue to cause an electric wave to travel my entire body. The harder she sucks, the more I hiss with pleasure and the wetter she becomes; I can smell her need. She moves up and down sucking harder. My hips jerk up causing the tip to hit the back of her throat; she sucks harder. She rolls my balls in her other hand as they begin to tighten. I'm not going to last much longer.

"Babe, I . . . I'm going to cum," I try to warn.

_**BPoV**_

Without releasing him, I hum "cum." That's all it takes. His head drops back again as his hot liquid slides down my throat. I swallow his release before slowly licking and sucking up and down a few more times. Sated, I finally release his satisfied cock with a quick last kiss to the tip; it twitches and he hisses once again. I simply smirk.

Before traveling back up his body, I rip off my top. I move up Edward's heaving chest teasing him with my hardened nipples. Our connection sends an electrical shock wave through my entire being. Knowing how he loves my tits, I wickedly dangle one of my nipples above his watering mouth. He wastes no time in capturing my hardened nipple between his teeth before he imbibes more of my soft breast. His hand fits perfectly around my other breast as he continues to tease. Once he's satisfied that breast, he places soft wet kisses across my chest to enjoy the other. My body writhes; his tongue teases and sucks and pleasures my breasts, _his girls_.

**EPoV**

Pulling away from her breast, I flip our bodies. It's my turn to return the favor. Before making my way down to her warm wet heaven, I pay homage to _my_ girls one more time.

Bella giggles at her breast man in between her moans.

I follow her mouth-watering fragrance and inhale, centering my greedy mouth at her swollen nub. I place her legs over my shoulders; Bella locks her ankles, trapping me. _I'm not going anywhere._ I look into Bella's eyes. She watches with hooded eyes as I begin to tease her swollen clit. I lick . . . and kiss . . . and flick . . . and Bella writhes in sweet agony. I hold her still as I run my tongue up her slit before teasing her clit again. Repeating my action, she grabs onto my hair pulling me closer.

I smirk as my tongue enters her body; she squirms.

"Mmmmm . . . oh baby, your tongue . . . oh yeah, right there . . . don't . . ."

Her body begins to tighten; my tongue continues its assault. I slightly stretched her open, curve my fingers up until I hit her g-spot. I feel her walls clench around my fingers wishing it was my cock feeling her silk warmth.

"More baby . . . please . . . don't stop. . ."

At Bella's demand, I add another finger moving in and out of her faster and harder, my thumb taking control of her clit. "Cum for me Bella . . . let me see what only _I_ can do to you."

_**BPoV**_

My hands leave his hair; needing more leverage, I reach back to grab the headboard. My back arches as I squeeze my eyes shut to be met with lightening white shooting stars. My legs quiver as my toes curl, a silent _O_ escapes as my body rides a shock wave of a sexual ecstasy.

Coming down from my orgasm, I watch through hooded eyes as Edward sucks on the fingers that had just sated my body. The finger licking is one of the most erotic acts I have ever witnessed. Looking him straight in the eyes and an arched eyebrow, I pull Edward's fingers from his mouth to mine. I suck my juices off his fingers.

I grunt, "Woman, you are going to be the death of me."

"Thanks . . . and, as fantastic as that was, make sure you carry a condom with you from now on," I demand.

"Just one," I ask confidently.

"Ha ha ha, you're so funny. Come on let's go take a quick shower and get some sleep."

We quickly shower but not together to avoid the temptation of touching each other again.

Once back in bed, we spoon holding each other just a bit tighter than before.

"You okay now," I silently ask.

"More than okay," I whisper in return.

I slap his hand knowing he didn't answer the real question. "You okay about me leaving," I reiterate.

"Yes, I'm fine." I whisper. "I know you have to leave but I _also_ know that you will always come back to me."

"Yes, I will . . . I will always come back to you," I yawn. "Now let's get some sleep. I am exhausted."

"Hey babe?"

"Hmmmm."

"How much of what we just did do you think my parents heard? You were kind of loud."

" .GOD . . . .GOD. . . I completely forgot about them," I scream in a horrified whisper. "That's it Edward. I love momma bear but I am out of here. I am going to die of embarrassment."

Edward snorts, "Oh babe," _I love his terms of endearments _"don't be silly now go to sleep. I gotta get up early."

"Really Edward! . . . really? You want me to go to sleep now. You are an evil, evil man Dr. Cullen and someday I am going to get even with you."

Edward kisses the top of my head and hugs me bit tighter before coaxing me to sleep. My exhaustion eventually returns despite the embarrassment; I fall asleep in his arms.

As Edward sleeps, he mumbles something unintelligible. "What did you say?" My voice is rough with sleep. He mumbles some more incoherent words but then I clearly make out _the_ words . . . _falling in love_ . . . between more of his mumbling. Sleep is all but forgotten; my heart races.

Edward's alarm goes off way too early for my liking. I hear the alarm before Edward so I gently urge him awake. He stirs and stretches while grumbling something about getting a fast food job so he could sleep in. I giggle quietly. Edward shuffles to bathroom for a wake up shower while I snuggle into his side of the bed. I fail to go back to sleep when his words _falling in love _invade my sleepy thoughts.

Hearing Edward's movement in the room, my thoughts are distracted as I peek out from under the blankets. Edward has walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his hips.

"What _is_ the matter with you Edward? You nearly gave me a heart attacking looking all sexy in _that_ towel of yours." My croaky morning voice complains. "How am I supposed to go back to sleep now with that yummy image of you in my head? I want a repeat of last night but I know that's not gonna happen." I sit up and pound the bed. "I might as well get up and go help your mom with breakfast. I'm sure she already has something or other stirring downstairs." I shake my head throwing the blankets off. "Like I said last night you are an evil, evil man Dr. Cullen," I grumble making my way to the bathroom.

Fully awake from his morning shower, Edward just laughs as he continues to ready for his shift. He knocks on the bathroom door telling me he'll meet me in the kitchen. I yank open the door and, without saying a word, dramatically point to my neck. My eyes squint and lips prune in disapproval.

Without saying a word, he yanks down the left side of his scrubs low enough for to see a rather large deep purple mark. Now it's his time to eye me with a high arched brow.

"Well at least nobody can see yours. Mine on the other hand . . ," I growl knowing I'm going to wearing a turtleneck for the next week.

"You let me do that to you and you know it," he proudly smirks, "I didn't hear any complaints over all your moaning."

Remembering the sensation of Edward's lips on my neck gave me thrills and chills. I had to concede that, in the heat of the moment, I did beg him not to stop. I return his smirk, "Yeah, I guess I did and, just so we are clear, no one and, I mean no one, but me will see yours. Understood?"

Edwards lips mold to mine as he promises 'no one but you'.

As predicted, Esme is already busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She has prepared a tumbler of coffee, lunch and a snack for her baby boy.

"Well it's about time you got down here. Bella, we've got lots to do today. Grab some breakfast and a strong cup of coffee," Esme winks at me knowingly. All I can do is lower my head into my hands and moan. "Now, no time for that, let's get cracking," Esme orders. "Alice should be here to help soon."

**EPoV**

Mom winks at me and I snort at her playfulness. I pack my lunch and shovel breakfast down. I call out a quick goodbye thanking mom for breakfast and lunch before taking a pouting Bella by the hand. "Walk me out to my car."

Bella silently gets up and follows me to my car. I toss my backpack in the car before trapping Bella between my body and the car. Softly, I mold my lips to hers. I try not to let the kiss get carried away. My senior resident won't take to kindly to me sporting a hard on under my scrubs.

"Let's spend the night at my apartment tonight. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me."

"I'll call or text you later okay. I have to go or I'm going to be late."

I place two short pecks to Bella's lips before getting in my car and driving away. As her image gets smaller in my rearview mirror, I think how I could get use to waking up to Bella every morning and kissing her goodbye and coming home to her every night. As her reflection disappears, I recall her words from last night, _"Yes, Edward. I promise. I will always come back to you."_

_**BPoV**_

I remain in the driveway watching Edward's car drive down the street. I don't return to the house until his car was out of sight. As I walk back up to the house, I once again admire Esme's outdoor Christmas decorations. Suddenly, melancholy invades my thoughts wishing I had grown up in a family like the Cullen's. I wish for the beautiful memories Esme has given her family. I wish Renee had breakfast ready in the morning. I wish we could have spent the holidays baking and decorating cookies together. I wish we had special Christmas ornaments to decorate the tree. I begin to wish for many things which in turn starts an entirely new train of thoughts and wishes.

My wishes dissolve into thin air as I walk back into the kitchen. I find Esme dancing with Carlisle to some romantic Christmas song. I clear my throat but the love birds are lost in their own winter wonderland.

As the song ends, Carlisle gently lifts Esme's chin placing a gently kiss to her lips.

"Good morning my love," Carlisle whispers.

Esme giggles like a school girl, "Good morning handsome."

I smile realizing Edward must have learned some of his _moves_ from his father. Esme is putty in husband's hands.

A starry-eyed Esme finally notices me sipping coffee. Esme clears her voice, "Oh there you are sugar bear. Ready to work?"

"Yup, what's on the schedule for today?"

She rattles the agenda for the day as we get started and a few hours later Esme, Alice and I are almost done with today's baking agenda.

Every so often I glance at my phone for any missed calls or texts. I ignore Esme and Alice as they exaggerate eye rolls.

"Hush you two. You're no one to talk Miss starry-eyed Esme." I point and wave my finger in Esme's direction. Just then my phone rings and I jump. Alice and Esme let out a howling laugh. I stick out my tongue but frown at my phone. "Shut it you two." Disappointment covers my face. "Hello dad." I listen as dad talks. Occasionally, I shake my head and agree with whatever he's saying.

"No, dad don't. Promise me you won't open your gift until Christmas morning . . . at least wait until Christmas Eve. Promise, okay . . . okay, thanks. For someone who didn't want any gifts, you sure are acting like a kid," I laugh. "Okay, so, I'll see you at the end of January. I'll call you with more definite dates as soon as possible. You better make sure you have someone ready to cover your shifts. I'm not coming to visit you to sit home alone while you go to work. Understood? And I better not find any junk food in the pantry or fridge. "

Esme and Alice can't help but overhear Bella's conversation. Hearing that I'm leaving apparently seems to be worrying both women. Although she seems to be busy in the kitchen doing nothing, Esme appears distracted and every so often gives Alice a sad smile.

**EPoV**

For only having slept just over five hours, I'm not as tired as I thought I would be but a catnap does sound good. I decide against sleeping during my lunch break. If I fall asleep, I know my body will crave more than thirty minutes.

My day is busier than I thought it was going to be too. I haven't had a chance to call or text Bella until late in the afternoon. I take the elevator down to the lab and use that opportunity to send her a text.

Hopefully will b off by 7 do u work tonite?- E

_**Yes, but I'm off at 8 – B**_

I'll pick you up from work. Pack a bag for our sleepover ; ) – E

_**Are you a 12 year old girl? R we gonna paint our nails and curl our hair too- B**_

Definitely not! I've got other plans for us ; ) see u tonite gotta go. - E

Just before six there is an emergency with one of my patients. There's no way I'm going to be off by seven or eight for that matter. I can't call Bella she's in the middle of her shift at work and won't have her phone on her. I text Alice explaining the situation and beg her to pick up Bella and drop her off at my apartment. I'm disappointed I can't pick her up but relieved Alice agrees to help me out.

_**BPoV**_

Alice picks me up from work explaining Edward's hospital emergency. Not having much rest the night before, I leave Alice and Jasper in the living room lumbering my way to Edward's bedroom. I take a warm soothing shower and slip into one of Edward's old t-shirts. I turn on the television, snuggle under the blankets and settle in to wait for Edward. I cuddle one of Edward's pillows as I flip through the television channels. An enormous smile crosses my face when I find a Christmas rerun of The Big Bang Theory. The last thing I remember before dozing off is laughing as Sheldon opens his Leonard Nemoy DNA gift from Penny.

I grab the remote control and switch off the television. The bed shifts as I slide under the warm blankets. I mold Bella to my chest kissing a good night to the top of her head. Bella mumbles some nonsense as she snuggles closer to me. Unconsciously, she wiggles her ass into my cock; I moan. Exhausted, I release a stressful breathe as I hold Bella tighter in my arms. I don't know how I ever had a peaceful night sleep before Bella came into my life. I don't know how I'm going to survive when she leaves so from tonight on I will cherish every moment with her as I drift off to sleep holding her just a bit tighter.

A/N: Thanks to animeforever18 "the pink elephant in the room." Last chapter had just over 1K views and visits but only a few reviews. If you read, be kind and leave a review. You would make me so happy. Next chapter should be up soon.


	23. Chapter 23 I Don't Want to Lose Her

A/N: This chapter was hard to write because of where I know it will eventually lead. I left a few hints in previous chapters of things to come. I'm looking at a few more happy chapters before we hit some rough patches. Yikes!

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I know Stephenie Meyer owns it and E.L. James owns Christian Grey. Sad face. I also don't own Sheldon and Penny or Cersei and Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones.**

**Chapter 23 "I Don't Want to Lose Her"**

**EPoV**

"I'm really sorry about the emergency at the hospital last night," I apologize through a piece of buttery toast.

"As much as I was looking forward to a grown-up sleepover," Bella looks over at me with a devious smirk, "I guess I was more tired than I thought. The last thing I remember was watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory." She snorts, "Have you seen the Christmas episode where Penny gives Sheldon Leonard Nemoy's DNA . . . classic."

"No, I've haven't seen that one yet. I'm still not caught up on all the seasons yet . . . So, what do you have planned for the rest of the week?"

Bella thinks for a moment before she stutters, "Oh . . .um . . . I have the afternoon shift today and then I want to catch up on some writing. I haven't written in a while and there's some stuff I want capture while it's still fresh in my mind . . . Um, I'm not sure what I'm doing for Christmas yet since I'm not gonna visit Charlie until January. I'm thinking I'll do some research on the internet and look for something festive to do . . . see if there are any local holiday events . . . or maybe just catch a movie. . . I dunno yet."

"What do you mean you're just going to catch a movie on Christmas Day? You can't spend the day all by yourself. What about my family Bella?"

"Relax Edward, don't blow a gasket. What do you mean what about your family?"

"Aren't you going to spend the day with my parents?!"

Bella's voice raises a few octaves as she speaks. "Edward, I will not, I _repeat_, I will not intrude on your family's Christmas . . ."

I laugh out loud shaking my head side to side, "Bella, Bella, Bella, do you not know my mother at all? Do you think she is going to allow you to spend Christmas day alone?"

"I won't be spending it alone. Of course, I will visit with your family but I don't want to intrude on _their_ entire day."

"Babe, that sounds great but don't think you're off the hook with my mother. She would be so hurt if you didn't spend the entire day with her. She knows you're not going to see your dad and I have to work . . . I bet she already has your gifts wrapped and tagged . . ."

"Gifts! Edward your mom shouldn't be buying me a gift let alone gifts."

Again I laugh at Bella's naiveté as Bella contemplates my last declaration.

"How about this? . . . How about I spend the morning with your family then later I can bring you a special lunch? A Christmas lunch," she smiles, ". . . just the two of us . . . spending _our_ _first_ Christmas together? We could start our very own tradition . . . a Christmas lunch tradition." Her smile widened.

My heart skips a beat smiling at the thought of creating our very own special lunch holiday tradition. I pull her into my arms, place a soft kiss to her lips and whisper, "A Christmas lunch tradition . . . that sounds perfect."

"Then once your shift is over . . . hmmm," Bella taps her finger to her chin. "Do you think momma bear would let me make Christmas dinner for the family? I'd love to cook for you and your family." Bella's cheeks blush a light pink as she continues to speak, "You know to show my appreciation for allowing me to be part of their holiday and for welcoming me into their home."

"You know she would do anything to make one of her kids happy." Edward speaks into Bella's lips in between kisses.

"Ewwwww . . . don't ever say that again!" Bella pulls away from my lips and slaps me on the chest.

"What?" I question.

"That would make us brother and sister _and_ it would be so very wrong if I did this to you." Bella moves as close as she possibly could, weaves her fingers through my hair, rotates her hips against me and crashes her lips to mine.

My breathing speeds up and I willingly succumb to her pouty controlling lips.

When Bella attempts to pull away to catch her breath, I pull her back into my arms. This time my strong commanding lips take control as my tongue begs for entrance into her hot wet mouth. More than willingly, she opens to me giving me full control.

Reluctantly, we pull apart knowing things are getting way out of hand. We have to stop. Forehead to forehead, we grin.

"Definitely not brother and sister . . . I misspoke," I concede.

Breathlessly, Bella confirms, "most definitely not. Besides, we're nothing like Cersei and Jaime."

"Who?" I ask quizzically, my head jerking back in confusion.

"Cersei and Jaime . . . Game of Thrones"

"Game of Thrones?"

"Oh never mind . . . I'll explain later, it's not important right now," she whispers cuddling closer.

I hold Bella in my arms as she places her ear against my beating heart.

In a low smoldering voice I speak, "I'll be at the hospital for the next few days then I have two days off right after Christmas. What do you say we spend every single moment of those two days _and_ nights completely alone?" I wiggle my eyebrows at the word _night_s. "Oh yeah, and I have my golden weekend coming up in two weeks . . . three days off. Do not . . . _kiss . . . _make any . . . _kiss . . . _plans . . . _kiss . . . _got it. See if you can take off work too okay." A frown suddenly blankets my face. "You're not going to be gone by then are you?"

"No, though I'll probably be leaving soon after that."

I frown in disappointment and, from my silence, Bella feels the need to reassure my insecurities.

"I promised I would always come back to you and I _will_ so stop pouting like a big baby. With your change in schedule from days to nights, we'll probably not see very much of each other anyway. We will be like two ships in the night. Now get going before you're late. We'll talk more about this later."

I grab a frozen lunch stuffing it in my backpack before picking up a Space Needle key ring from a ceramic bowl. I place it in Bella's hand.

"Be here when I get back," I command.

All Bella could do is nod at my commanding sexy voice. I give her one last teasing kiss before leaving. In the middle of the kitchen, Bella stands frozen with a silly satisfied smirk on her face. "I think I like bossy Dr. Cullen," she calls out to me. I smile.

Driving to the hospital, I think about our conversation. Admittedly, Bella has quickly become the center of my world, my universe. I don't like the idea of Bella ever leaving despite her promises to return. When she leaves I know I'm going to miss her sleeping in my arms. _How did I ever survive before she came into my life? How would I survive if she ever left me?_ I would miss her eyes, her scent, her arms, her lips . . . I would miss her entire being and that makes my heart ache.

On my way to the elevator, I call my mom. Yes, it's early but I know she is already up and about doing something or other.

"Good morning, my baby boy. Did you enjoy your sleep over? Wink, wink," teases Esme.

"Mother, my sleep over was fine. We slept and that is all you need to know. I don't mean to cut you off mom but I need to ask you something of vital importance before I report to my floor."

"What is it honey? You sound serious."

"It _is_ serious mom." I continue my conversation as Esme listens intently. At the other end of the line, she grabs a pen and paper jotting down some notes as I speak.

"I know it's a lot to ask mom and if you don't have time I'll underst . . ."

"Now you listen here young man," interrupts Esme, "I always have time for you and Alice and Bella."

Edward chokes on Esme's words _of having time for Bella_ recalling their kiss.

"Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything."

"Are you sure you're fine with this mom?"

"I'm more than fine with it. Now hang up so I can get working," she orders.

"Oh mom, just one more thing before I go. Please talk to Bella about her plans for Christmas okay."

"What plans? She's spending the day with us."

I smirk knowingly at my mother's reassuring words.

"Just talk to her okay. I'll talk to you soon. Bye mom and thanks. I love you."

"Bye my baby boy, I love you too."

With that done, I report to work with a smug satisfied smile. Unfortunately, the stern look I receive from his chief resident wipes the smile right off my face. There isn't much to smile about the rest of the day either. Despite the holidays, the floor is quite hectic and affords me absolutely no time at all to think about _my_ girl, no my woman.

During lunch, I send her a quick text between bites of my lunch. I smiled as I think about Bella's suggestion of creating our very own Christmas day lunch tradition.

Very busy today but thinking of you. Hope to b home by 8 see u laters baby – E

I don't receive an immediate text back from Bella but just as I finish up my lunch, I receive a response.

_**Really? laters baby! Is this Edward or Christian? – B**_

Startled to see another man's name on the text, I immediately text her back. As I feverishly type, I wonder if Bella is romantically involved with _this_ Christian character too.

CHRISTIAN!? BELLA, WHO THE FUCK IS CHRISTIAN?! - E

_**FSOG – B**_

BELLA! .CHRISTIAN! & WHAT THE FUCK IS FSOG? – E

Bella, I need to get back to my patients. I don't know what FSOG is. Now answer my question. I want to know who the fuck Christian is right NOW!

_**Edward, are you jealous?**_

Obviously she realizes I'm jealous and decides to tease me but this is no time for teasing. I ignore her text and angrily type out another text.

I am not going to ask you again. Who is Christian?

_**Giggles and yums and wiggling eyebrows. I think I like hot jealous bossy Dr. Cullen. I mean Christian. ; )**_

I abruptly stand scrapping my chair loudly against the linoleum floor, grab my his phone, and march outside, angry jealously causing my adrenal to spike. Once outdoors, I search for a private spot and call Bella's cell phone.

I hear Bella giggle as she answers the phone. "Hello Christian . . . I mean . . ."

I, none too happy, do not see the humor of this situation. I am not at all in a playful mood and want nothing more than a few answers right now. In a heated voice, I interrupt and demand to know who the fuck is this Christian. Even over the phone, Bella can probably hear my rapidly beating heart and heavy breathing.

Trying to calm down, I pinch the bridge of my nose waiting for her answer.

_**BPoV**_

My teasing has gone a bit too far, so I speak softly. "Edward."

There is no response but I can hear his heavy breathing. "Edward, you wonderfully silly jealous man, _Christian . . ._" His breathing hitches as I utter another man's name.

"Christian Grey is the main character from the _Fifty Shades of Grey _trilogy. FSOG is the acronym for the book. He's a fictional character in a book Edward."

Strangely, I feel giddy at his obvious jealousy. I have never had a man want to own me so completely but I'm mortified that I have unintentionally hurt him none the less.

There still was no response but his breathing seems to have somewhat calmed.

"Edward, his favorite saying is '_laters baby'_ that's why I called you Christian. I can't believe you've never heard of that book. Have you been living under a rock?" I attempt not to laugh at the situation and Edward's lack of pop culture knowledge.

There's still no response but no heavy breathing either. My poor oblivious Sheldon, I know he needs more convincing.

"Edward, you are the _only_ man in my life. I lo . . . um . . . you are the only man in my life okay."

In a near whisper, Edward finally speaks. "Bella, I'm so sorry for the way I spoke to you. Please forgive me. I promise it will never happen again. I . . . I just don't think I could take it if . . ."

"No Edward, I'm sorry too. I was only teasing you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Can you forgive me?"

_Okay, so perhaps I overreacted just a tad and now I feel guilty for not understanding her little joke. Think . . . think . . . think. _"I guess I _was_ having a bit of a _Sheldon_ moment . . . and, yeah, I guess I was just a bit jealous."

Bella giggles at my admission. "You think! Yeah, I guess you were just a tad jealous. I'm sorry, please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive Bella. I overreacted plain and simple and I am truly sorry."

"Are you okay Edward?" Bella asks with serious concern.

"I am now that I know you were only talking about a fictional character. I don't think my heart could handle you falling in love with anyone else but me," I murmur in relief.

"Edward, nobody falls in love with fictional characters silly man. Now, shouldn't you be getting back to work? I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Yeah, I better get going. Hey, I thought you were at work. Why were you texting me if you were at work?"

"Oh . . . um . . ." Bella pauses for a moment, "I'm . . . um . . . on my break. I better get back to work too. See you tonight, okay?"

"See you tonight. Laters baby."

"Laters baby," giggles Bella at my attempt at humor even though I still don't get the joke.

The thought of Bella being with another man . . . no, I cannot even fathom the thought. I've never felt this way for another person, ever. She has stirred emotion in me I never knew existed. I need to get this ugly indescribable jealousy under control, I've never act like that before and it will never happen again. She said there is nobody but me and I believe her because there is nobody but her. Yup, she is not the center of my world, she is my universe.

Reality slaps me right in the face when I literally ran smack into the chief resident as I attempt to sneak back onto the floor.

"You're late," she grumbles through a tight mouth and stern eyes.

"Sorry, it won't happen again," I apologize picking up a patients folder.

_**BPoV**_

I'm guilt ridden lying to Edward about being at work especially after he panicked at the mere mention of another man's name. I needed to figure out a way of buying Edward the perfect Christmas gift without him finding out. As much as I'm starting to love Esme, I also didn't want her to know. I wanted it to be a surprise. Not having much money, I'm determined to get something meaningful, something that represented our unusual relationship. I kind of have an inkling of what I want to get but I need to see it close up before making a final decision.

In most cases, I really don't mind shopping but I'm not a huge fan of crowded malls. Through my travels, I come to appreciate the small independent business owners and the eclectic merchandise they tend to offer in comparison with the retail stores. But, with only a couple of days before Christmas the mall is packed with late holiday shoppers. Luckily, I know what I have in mind and will only have to rifle through a few stores to find Edward's perfect gift.

I locate one of the stores and, not wanting to waste time searching, I ask a sales clerk for assistance. The frazzled clerk directs me to the appropriate section of the store and I am more than relieved to find exactly what I have in mind. Now, I just have to decide between the various styles. Closely inspected one, put it down and then, closely inspected the other. I place them side by side to do some comparison shopping.

I'm feeling kind of satisfied with myself right about now. I know I have selected the perfect gift for Edward. Once he sees it he will know exactly how I feel about him. No longer in a hurry, I saunter on over to the end of a very long holiday line. While waiting, I reexamine the selection several more times. I'm quite content that I have made the right choice.

On my way out the mall, I make one more quick purchase. On the bus ride home, I pull the last minute gift out of the bag. I examined all sides of the gift running my hand lightly over the top and patting it with my fingers before returning it to its bag. "Perfect."

My phone vibrates. Looking down at the screen, I smile knowing exactly who will be calling.

"Hola momma bear. Long time no talk."

"Hola sweetie. What have you been up to today?"

"Oh you know . . . a little bit of this and a little bit of that," I tease not wanting to give any secrets away.

"Will you be making your way home anytime today?"

"I'm actually on my way to Casa Cullen's as we speak."

"Bella, are you on a bus?" She asks in a scolding tone.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am and, before you scold me and send me to my room without my supper, I _wanted_ to take the bus." _Oddly enough I like that Esme is scolding me, weird huh?_ "I had some important and private errands to run. Plus, I love Seattle winters and I wanted to do some walking." I whisper the last part, ". . . and some thinking. I'll see you in about an hour or so. How does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect sweetie, see you soon."

I crave the cool crisp air of Seattle; I need it to help me gather my thoughts. The solitude of the walk home is exactly what the doctor ordered. And, as promised an hour later, I make my way through the backdoor of Casa Cullen. My senses are greeting with the aroma of the Cullen's Christmas traditions. I love the fragrance of the baked good and the Christmas garland and the Christmas tree. I hum along to the sound of the Christmas song floating softly off in the distance. My eyes twinkle like a child at the glow of the Christmas tree lights.

"Esme, I'm back. Where are you?"

"Finally!" Alice calls out. "Where've you been all day," she whines.

"Alice, like I told momma bear I had some personal business to attend to."

Alice shakes her head back and forth in disappointment, "Bella, Bella, Bella, don't you know by now this family doesn't' know the meaning of the words privacy or secrets. There are no secrets in this family. We are freakishly close so don't you even try to keep a secret from me. Now, where were you today?" she demands simultaneously tapping her the tip of her shoe.

As Alice scolds me, I attempt to hide my purchases. A no-nonsense Alice places her hand out palm up and wordlessly demands to see what was in the packages. I roll my eyes attempting to defy Alice's silent command.

Placing both packages behind my back, I boldly proclaim, "Well . . . since I am not part of this family . . ."

"Not yet anyway," declares Esme over my proclamation. A sly smirk spread across her face.

My head spins and my eyes bulge out at Esme's honestly surprising comment. I take a second to gather my thoughts after Esme's comment.

I clear my throat, "All I will say is that I did tell Edward a little white lie. I told him I was going to work but I actually went shopping for his Christmas present."

Alice and Esme squeal in joy as Alice lunges for the bags in my hand. Anticipating her possible reaction, I'm prepared and, with in lighting fast speed, I move farther away from Alice. What I didn't anticipate is Esme's ability to leap off her chair so quickly. The bags are out of my hands and into Esme's in a split second. And, just as fast Alice is at her mother's side.

"Hey! You play dirty. Two against one, that's not fair!" I yell. "Don't you dare open those bags you two evil Christmas elves."

Positive the two evil Christmas elves are going to take a peek, I have no other choice but to play dirty too. In the softest sincerest pleading voice I plead, "Please don't open those bags. It's our first Christmas together. I want it to be special. I want him to be the first to see the gifts I got him. They're not much but they mean so much to me and I hope they will mean something to him too. Please," _I deserve an Academy Award for this performance._ I look pleadingly into their eyes, "please. I've never spent Christmas with someone special. Please."

I sort of feel guilty playing dirty but as I speak my words became more and more true. My eyes begin to glisten at the truth of my words.

Without hesitation, Esme and Alice return the unopened bags.

"Thank you," I whisper with soft sincerity. "I'm going to put these in my room and I'll be right down. I think the temptation will be too great if I leave my bags here." I pause half way up the stair, "Oh, do you think I can have some wrapping paper and ribbon?"

"Of course you can sweetie, help yourself to anything you need. The gift wrap is in the hall closet." Esme coos in my direction. I search through a box of wrapping paper selecting the perfect Christmas wrapping paper for Edward's gifts. I also gather a small box, some adhesive tape and ribbon too.

With my hands full, I lean over and kiss Esme on the check, "Thank you."

To avoid any further temptation for Esme or Alice, I decide to wrap Edward's two gifts. While wrapping the gifts, I think about taking some holiday pictures for my journal. I think about labeling this section a traditional Christmas in the northwest. Before heading back down, I grab my camera.

I silently tiptoe down the stairs hoping to photograph some candid shots of Esme and Alice working in the kitchen. I'm awarding with a few natural shots before Alice notices the camera and begins to direct me where and how to take my pictures. Eventually, the three of us take turns photographing pictures of each other.

Esme asks me to show her how to set the camera's timer. As she set the timer, she has Alice and I stand side by side in front of the Christmas tree before quickly making her way in between the two of us. Instinctively, we place our arms around each other's waist, look into the camera and yelling a loud _cheese._ Esme then snaps a few more group shots in front of the tree. She takes some shot of her and Alice and then some with the two of us before taking some individual shots. She has me and Alice around the room in different poses and expressions, some serious others playful. When we're done Esme settles into her favorite chair and works on one of her quilts, Alice and I look through the pictures on the camera.

"These pictures are great. Would you mind loading them onto my computer Bella? I'd love to make a couple of prints. I know my Jazzy would love the one of me sticking out my tongue," Alice giggles.

Alice's request seems to give Esme an idea.

"Sure Alice, no problem."

The rest of the evening is busied with finalizing Christmas preparations and cooking the weekly meals for Jasper and Edward.

Around six, I gather my belongings, say a quick good night to Esme and Carlisle before Alice drives me to Edward's apartment.

Once in front of Edward's apartment building, Alice waits for me to gather all my belongings. "Thanks for the ride Alice." I notice Alice doesn't turn off the car engine. "You're not coming in?"

"Nope, Jazz is coming over for dinner later and we might watch a movie. He'll probably sleep over so you'll have the place all to yourself." There's a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "You're welcome." She sings.

"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya' have fun tonight."

"You too."

I hide Edward's Christmas gifts, prepare a light dinner and wait for him to get home. Relaxing on the couch, I watch a random Christmas special on the television. Hearing the door unlock, I turn off the television and step in front of the door. To apologize for teasing and upsetting him earlier that day, I plan on showing him that _he_ is the only man in my life.

When Edward walks into the apartment he sees Bella standing there. His eyes travel up her pale luscious legs that never seem to end. She's only wearing _their_ Dartmouth hoodie and a wicked smirk. Dropping his backpack and slamming the door shut with his foot, he takes two long strides, wraps Bella in his arms, and traps her between the wall and his body. His lips crash against hers as his tongue invades her hot willing mouth.

Trapped against Edward, I feel his growing erection against my body. I hitched her leg around his hip, pull him even closer, and rotate my hips against his.

We moan in unison.

"Bedroom, now," Edward pleads into my mouth.

"Now," I agree.

Edward lifts me kneading my round firm ass. I smirk that his hands always go straight for the girls or the ass. I wrap my other leg around his waist as we continue our heated frantic kisses.

Edward carries my down the hall to his bedroom and drops me onto his bed. As he pulls off his shirt and toes off his shoes, I get on my knees and work off his pants. I fall back on the bed as Edward's hands make their way up our hoodie. I hiss at the feel of his hands on my pebbled nipples.

Breathless, we cry out at once, "Condom, Now!"

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this early post. Let me know what you think with a comment or review. They are very helpful to me. While I'm not getting the number of reviews I've ask for, I'm more than happy with the 1.1k + visits and views for Chapter 22. Please feel free to continue reading and review ; ) **


	24. Chapter 24 White Christmas part 1

**A/N: This chapter will be divided into two parts. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all . . . lucky lady. I don't own the Gringe Who Stole Christmas. Also, I don't any songs related to Mr. Rick Astley especially his classic version of White Christmas.**

**Chapter 24 "White Christmas" part 1**

_**BPoV**_

The next few days before Christmas are a hubbub of holiday activities. Alice, Rosalie and I lent Esme much needed helping hands with last minute gift wrapping, baking and cooking for Jasper's potluck and the Cullen's Christmas open house. On more than one occasion, either Esme or Alice or both made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that I would be spending the holidays with the Cullen Clan.

"Honestly Bella, did you really think I was going to allow you to spend Christmas day alone. Do you not know me at all young lady? I have a good mind to call your father right this minute," Esme scolds as she stirs a pot of holiday delight.

Usually outspoken, I can do nothing more than whisper "sorry ma'am" and "yes ma'am" at Esme's berating. In the background, Alice and Rosalie giggle at my derision. I glower back at the two with _"I'm going to get you"_ eyes.

"Momma bear, I really am sorry. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I just didn't want to intrude on _your_ family holiday." Penitently, I attempt to beg her forgiveness. "I know you're not very happy with me right now but . . ."

Mid-sentence, Esme wraps her arms around me. Without a thought, I drop my chopping knife, wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and wrap my arms around Esme's waist. Daughterly, I place my head on Esme's strong shoulder. Esme's speaks to me in the most sincere tone I have ever heard, "Bella, I know we haven't known each other very long but, speaking for the _entire_ Cullen family, I feel as if you have always and will always be part of this family. I can't explain it. I just feel it. Call it mother's instinct."

Wrapping her arms around an emotional Esme and me, Alice wipes a tear away. "I know what mom means Bella. I feel like you're already my sister."

Rosalie, feeling a bit excluded, blinks away a tear or two not wanting to rub her contact lenses before she weaves her arms around the women.

"Sweetie, what's for lunch? I'm starving. All that cooking smells delicious," Carlisle calls from the family room unaware to the love fest going on in the kitchen. Mouth-watering aromas lead him to the kitchen where he encounters an assemblage of whimpering weeping women. "What happened? Is everything all right?" Worry resonates from his voice as he pulls his tearful wife into his arms assessing her body for any type of injury.

"Oh honey, I'm fine. You know us women. Get us together during the holidays with a couple of glasses of eggnog under our belt and we turn into blubbering fools."

Esme despises lying to Carlisle but she doesn't want to further embarrass me. She sends a wink and slight smile my way.

"Mmmm, eggnog with extra brandy sounds mighty good right about now." As an oblivious Carlisle settles at the kitchen island waiting for his eggnog, the other women return to their previous jobs of mixing, chopping and cleaning.

"Bella, what were you going to ask me earlier before I so rudely interrupted you," Esme asks preparing Carlisle's brandy eggnog.

I pause from my chopping, "Well, ummm, as a way of thanking all of you for everything you have done for me and making me part of your family, I would love to cook Christmas dinner. I know you're planning on having a brunch buffet for your open house but I really would love to cook dinner for everyone."

"That sounds like a wonderful suggestion," Esme and Carlisle beam in unison.

With a wide grin, I fill them in on my lunch plans with Edward but reassure them I will be back early enough to prepare a special thank you dinner. I further suggest serving dinner a bit later in order to wait for Edward and Jasper to get off their shifts.

"Oh honey, that's a perfect idea. So let's see," Esme ponders a momentary thought, "okay, there will be . . . mmmm, Carlisle and myself, Alice and Jasper . . ." Esme turned to Rosalie, "Rosalie, what are your plans for tomorrow? I'd love if you and Emmett had dinner with us."

"Emmie and I haven't made any definite plans for tomorrow evening," coos Rosalie speaking of her Emmett, "but I know he would love to spend some time with his two favorite cousins. Let me call him and I'll let you know." Rosalie steps into the family room to call _her_ Emmie while the rest of the family talk about the dinner menu.

"Emmett and I can make it. Thank you for the invitation."

I talk about cooking a traditional turkey but the more I discuss the menu the more I consider cooking Edward's favorite meal of medium rare roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes and glazed carrots instead.

"Oh, I know Edward would love that and Jasper will eat anything," snorts Esme. "I know the perfect dessert . . ."

I nod my head back and forth, "Nope, this is my gift to you." Now it's my turn to admonish Esme. "No, no, no momma bear. This is _my_ gift to you. You are not permitted in the kitchen once I start cooking do you understand young lady."

"But . . .," pouts Esme.

"No if, ands or buts." I stand with both hands on my hips. "I'm doing it _all_ including dessert. Got it?"

Esme hangs her head in defeat while Alice and Rosalie giggle again.

"Now that that is settle, Alice would you mind driving me to the grocery store. I've got lots of shopping to do."

Later that afternoon, I text Edward letting him know I will be staying at Esme's tonight. Sometime later I receive a response.

Will drop by my apartment to pick up fresh clothes and meet you there later ; ) - E

; ) sounds good – B

Exhausted, the Cullen family and I cuddle in the living room. The fireplace and the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree illuminate the otherwise dark room. Wrapped in blankets and new Christmas slippers, complements of Alice's Christmas tradition of new slippers on Christmas Eve, we sip brandy eggnog and talk of the Cullen's past Christmases. The sound of crackling firewood and Christmas songs softly fills the background. Looking around the room, I eye a framed picture of Esme hugging Alice and herself that they had taken near the tree. A warm unexpected homey feeling invades my thoughts. I return my attention back to Carlisle and listen intently as he spoke of Edward's excitement at receiving his very first doctor set. Thinking of Edward as a baby, I smile.

At that moment, Edward the man snicks up from behind greeting me with a sweet kiss behind my ear. He whispers a hello. Despite being covered in one of Esme's homemade quilts, wearing new fluffy slippers and the fireplace warming the room, goose bumps cover my body at the touch of his lips to my neck. Edward moves around the oversize chair, lifts me in his arms, sits down on the chair then settles me on his lap. His movements were so swift I didn't have time to protest. I squirm in his lap uncomfortable at our intimacy in front of his family.

"If you don't stop that squirming, I'm going to have to take you upstairs right this instant," he whispers for only me to hear.

Edward's warning causes me to freeze mid squirm. Edward simply smirks at my sudden stillness. "Good girl."

"Alice, where are my slippers," asks Edward as he toes off his shoes. A warm smile crosses his face as he notices I'm wearing black and pink Hello Kitty slippers. "I see everyone has their new slippers but me. You better have gotten me some good ones this year," he warns.

"Well Merry Christmas to you too big brother," scolds Alice tossing him a pair of black and yellow Batman slippers.

Holding me with one arm, he catches the slippers with the other. He drops them to the floor sliding his feet into his new slippers. "Nice and cozy, good job Alice."

Alice sticks her tongue out and turns away to the sound of approaching footsteps. "Jazz, you're here!" She jumps into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist. With Alice molded to Jasper's body, he makes his way to her empty seat. Alice gets comfortable on his lap before suddenly jumping off. A quizzical look covers Jasper's face. Alice darts toward the tree, grabs another pair of new Christmas slippers, slips off Jasper's shoes and slips on _his_ slippers. Alice settles back on her Jazzie's lap placing her head on his shoulder while his arms envelope her tiny body.

"Thanks darling," he whispers in her ear. And like me, Alice suddenly shiveres despite the warmth of the room.

Looking around the room, Esme frowns before unexpectedly stands up and plops herself onto Carlisle's lap. Instinctively, Carlisle weaves both arms around his wife and tugs her closer to his chest.

Alice and me giggle at Esme's spontaneity. "What? I felt left out. Besides before you two came along, your father and I used to . . ."

"Ewwwwww, no, no, no. No sex stories from you especially on Christmas Eve," yells Edward and Alice.

But before Esme has the opportunity to argue with her children about the sex life pre Alice and Edward, she hears one of her favorite Christmas songs play in the background.

"Bella, would you mind if I borrow my baby boy for a few minutes?"

Edward kisses the top of my head before he places me back on the oversized chair. He walks to his mother and places his hand out. "May I have this dance madame?"

Like a southern belle, Esme bats her eyes and places her hand into her baby boy's hand rising. Edward leads his mother into his arms as they dance to _White Christmas_ sung by, who else, the gingerly Rick Astley.

Alice rolls her eyes and groans. I glance to Alice as she whispers, "Mom and Edward have an unnatural devotion to Mr. Rick Astley. It has something to do with the fact that he's a ginger like Edward."

"Hush, Alice. Just because you don't appreciate . . ."

"I don't know Ali. I kinda of like this version," Jasper interrupts as he places Alice on the floor. "Shall we?" He motions for Alice to dance with him.

"Oh Jazzie," giggles Alice. "You're so romantic," she responds as she melts into his waiting arms.

Esme whispers something to Edward before turning to her husband. She pulls him into her arms as Edward walks toward me. Edward places his hand out and, without a second-thought, I place my hand in his. Our eyes lock as our bodies begin to sway to the romantic sound of Mr. Astley.

All three couples dance, lost in their own bubble until the song morphs into another song. Carlisle kisses Esme. Jasper kisses Alice. Edward continues to look into my eyes before he broke the trance and lovingly kisses me. The gentle kiss turns frantic forgetting we have an audience. When Jasper whistles, Bella pulls away but Edward holds me tight in his strong arms. We kiss one last time before returning to their chair.

My voice filled with passion or lust, I declare, "I think I'm kind of fond of that British ginger." .

"That's my girl," laughs Esme. "That man's voice could get anyone in the mood. I'll never forget what song we were listening to when Alice was conceived?"

"Ewwww, mother please stop NOW!" Alice screams breaking the romantic mood that filled the room.

"Oh you're no fun at all."

Attempting to change the subject of parental sexual antics, I ask Edward and Jasper if they had eaten dinner yet, that works. Alice and I make our way to the kitchen as Edward and Jasper follow. Esme snuggles deeper into Carlisle chest murmuring memories of romantic days past.

"God, I thought they would never leave."

Carlisle snorts as his lips hover over Esme's lips. "Me either," he speaks before trapping her bottom lip between his teeth.

Moments later, a slightly flushed Esme walks into the kitchen to say goodnight. "The girls and I need to be up early so we can get to the hospital and set up for your potluck." She turns to Jasper to remind him of the potluck tomorrow. "So I'm heading off to bed. Night kids."

Alice rolls her eyes at her mother's flushed state, "Sure mom. Goodnight"

I blush at Esme smirk and know Esme will definitely _not_ be going straight to sleep then I smirk.

Esme turns back remembering a final thought, "Since we will all be together for dinner, let's wait until after dinner to open presents."

We agree before one by one the remaining couples say their goodnights making their way to their respective bedrooms.

Edward and I spoon under the blankets of my bed; we're a tangle of wrapped arms and legs.

"That had to have been one of the best Christmas Eves I have ever had, thank you" I whisper not just to Edward but to myself.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Do you like your slippers? Don't tell Alice but, if she ever stopped her slipper tradition, I probably never get another pair of slippers."

"I loved mine. Believe it or not I have never had anything with Hello Kitty. I'm really more of a Jack and Sally gal but . . . I do love my slippers. They are going to come in handy when I go up north to see the aurora borealis."

At my words I notice Edward stiffens at the mention of my trip. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I ask, "So, what time should I meet you tomorrow for our first ever Christmas lunch?"

"Hopefully it will be a slow day tomorrow. Other residents said it's usually is. Let's meet around one. I'll meet you at the entrance but I will text you if an emergency comes up. What are you bringing me to eat?"

"I'm bringing you a light lunch because I plan on filling you to the gills at dinner. Esme said we can have a late dinner tomorrow. We are going to wait for you and Jasper to get off your shifts so we can eat all together. So what can I expect tomorrow here at Casa Cullen?"

"Oh, it's really just a casual day. Mom will light the fireplace, keep the Christmas tree lit and have coffee and hot chocolate brewing all day. Family and old friends may drop by for quick hellos, maybe share a cup of eggnog or two or just to help themselves to some of mom's brunch and baked goods."

"Now, as much as I would love to do other things in this bed than sleep, we have a long day tomorrow. So let's get some sleep." Edward kisses the top of my head nuzzling in for some much needed sleep.

I feel Edward's breathing change and know he's sound asleep. My thoughts drift to my real family. I miss my grandmother. I think of my mother and wish she had been a different type of mother. Deep down in my heart I know my mother loves me and I love her but I wish she would have given me the type of life Esme has given her children. I wish that I could have been the child and she the mother instead of the other way around. I breathe a heavy sigh at the memories of always having to be the responsible one in the family. My thoughts eventually drift to the man whose arms are possessively wrapped around me. I know I can't change the past but maybe, just maybe, I can change the future. _Maybe_ I think . . . as I drift to sleep.

Not even the magic of the Cullen family can order a white Christmas. Christmas is cold with light drizzles. Esme is the first to make it downstairs closely followed by the rest of the clan. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and I load the car with all the food and provisions needed for Jasper's potluck. Edward and Jasper ready for work. Quick _Merry Christmases_ and kisses are exchanged as we pile into our respective cars. Remembering something, Edward runs back in the house and runs back out in lightening quick speed. Running past Esme's car, he winks at me.

The Cullen gang quickly sets up a smorgasbord of baked good, breakfast and lunch meals as well as an assortment of appetizers. Jasper profusely thanks Esme for her generosity. He pulls her into his arms and giving her a huge bear hug thanks her with a kiss to each cheek. The aroma of the mouth-watering food wafts into the staff lounge. A trickling of the early staff begins to make their way into the lounge. They wish the Cullen family a Merry Christmas before Esme motions the staff to help themselves to the smorgasbord of holiday delights.

"It was my pleasure. Now enjoy," orders Esme as we make our way out the door. _I enjoy being a Christmas elf and I smile contently as my heart grew three times bigger today._

Back at Casa Cullen, everyone has an assigned job to ready the house for the surge of family and friends. By 9 a.m., the first of a long line of guests arrive offering happy holidays and helping themselves to Esme's goodies . . . _scratch that . . . _to Esme's delightful baked goods . . . _yeah, that's better._

Alice stays close to me knowing I'm a bit nervous meeting more of the Cullen clan, Carlisle's colleagues from the hospital, Esme's assorted friends from her various charities and such, close friends and acquaintances. I'm introduced as Edward's girlfriend to more people than I can or will ever remember.

During a lull, I go to the kitchen to get Edward's lunch ready; Alice make her way up to her room for a short nap. She isn't the domestic type and all this cooking and baking and early rising has finally caught up with her.

Carlisle pops his head informing me that more guests have arrived requesting I join the family again since Alice has apparently jumped ship.

"Be right there poppa bear."

Carlisle holds his arm out to me. I walk into his welcoming arms as he places an arm around my shoulder. Another man about Carlisle's age stands as we enter the living room. I grin as Carlisle begins to introduce me to the newest guests. Without a second thought, Carlisle boasts, "Bella, this is Dr. and Mrs. Denali. This is Edward's girlfriend Bella and our newest tenant."

Hearing the name Denali, I'm instantly cognizant that these are Tanya's parents. My heart races and, despite the cold, my palms begin to perspire. Of late, I had not thought of Tanya but the image of a brokenhearted Tanya immediately invades my brain. I wipe my sweaty hands against my jeans before shaking hands. I pray they don't hear the nervousness in my voice or my shaking hands as I meet them.

"Merry Christmas, it's so nice to meet you." I try to control the nervousness in my voice as I speak.

"You're Edward's girlfriend," inquires a shocked Mrs. Denali. "I hadn't realized Edward was seeing anyone."

Mrs. Denali's eyes travel from mine to just behind me. I turn to see the Denali sisters and Esme returning to the living room. They each are carrying a small plate of Christmas cookies and coffee, laughing until they obviously hear their mother's question. All the Denali sisters focus on an uncomfortable me.

Realizing her husband's unintentional faux pas, Esme immediately attempts to remedy the situation. "Tanya you remember Bella don't you? Kate, Irina, this is Bella."

Despite her obvious shock and hurt at the news that Edward already has a girlfriend, she politely greets me. "Yes, of course, I remember Bella. It's good to see you again." Tanya shows no sign of hurt in her voice.

Taking their sister's lead, Kate and Irina exchange polite niceties with me as well.

Esme encourages everyone to sit as she turns the subject to trivial Christmas chatter. The men talk shop while the women discuss gifts and New Year's Eve plans. Uncomfortable, I remain fairly silent trying to avoid Tanya and her sister's glances. Perhaps realizing her glances are making me uneasy, Tanya looks around the room. Tears fill her eyes as she focuses on a picture of Esme, Alice and me in front of a Christmas tree. She can't remain in the Cullen home one second longer.

"Mother, if you don't mind, I'm not feeling very well. Do you mind if we leave soon." Her strained whisper quivers in pain.

I cringe at her pain.

"Of course sweetheart, I understand." Mrs. Denali pats her daughter knee before turning to her hostess. "Esme, I'm so sorry to rush off. I guess I didn't realize it was so late. The girl's grandparents are probably waiting lunch for us as we speak," Mrs. Denali rattles an apparent lie.

"Oh, no need to explain. I'm just glad all of you were able to drop by," a considerate Esme speaks as she leads the Denali family to the door. Esme hugs her dear friend goodbye. Mrs. Denali and Esme exchange sad knowing looks. Esme hugs Kate and Irina goodbye. She saves her last goodbye for Tanya, giving her an extra-long hug and whispers words of apology. Tanya discreetly wipes a tear away before saying goodbye to Carlisle and . . . me.

**TPoV**

As soon as our car pulls away, tears freely ran down Tanya's cheeks. Kate holds me in her arms as I silently wept. Irina rubs soothing circles on my back. My sisters know I have always had feeling for Edward. They use to laugh at me when, as a girl, I would plan our wedding. I know now that will never happen and . . . I cry even harder.

_**BPoV**_

As the Denali car pulls away I run into the kitchen. I'm shaking holding back my tears. Esme follows close behind wrapping her arms around me; I weep. "She loves him doesn't she? She really loves him. Did you see the hurt look in her eyes? . . . She couldn't get out of here fast enough . . . This is all my fault. I never meant to hurt her . . . I never meant to hurt her." I cry harder at the thought of her broken heart.

Esme rubs soothing circle on my back as she tries to calm me down. "Now you listen to me young lady. I know Tanya's heart is broken. I have known her since she was a young girl, she has always had a crush on my son . . . and it hurts me to see her in pain but," Esme forces me to look into her eyes, ". . . but you can't force someone to love you. Edward did not love Tanya. He likes her but they are just friends. Now, I don't know where you and Edward are in your relationship but I know my son . . . and I know he loves you and you love him." Esme pauses for an answer. "Am I right?"

I blink in astonishment at Esme's declaration.

"Am I right?" She asks again more tenderly.

All I can do was nod in confirmation as I hiccup trying to subdue my tears. I hiccup again, "I think I feel in love with him the first time we touched."

"That's what I thought," confirms a satisfied momma bear. "Now go upstairs and freshen up. I'll pack the rest of Edward's special Christmas lunch for you. Don't let him see you sad like this. It's Christmas and you have a special lunch to get to. Now go." Esme lightly swats my back side and I squeal. " . . . and Bella," she calls out to me, "tell him what you just told me."

Upstairs, I wash my face, comb my hair and change my clothes. I powder a light blush to cover my pale skin and some lipstick hoping to fool Edward. Back downstairs, Esme hands over the keys to her car and Edward's special lunch. Before leaving, Carlisle pulls me into a hug and apologizes for his mistake. I kiss his cheek and reassure him that I'm fine.

Arriving at the hospital, I'm determined not to ruin our first special Christmas lunch together. I text Edward letting him know that I'm waiting at the hospital entrance. I take a few deep cleansing breathes repeating my mantra _you can do this . . . you can do this . . . you can do this._

**EPoV**

I immediately texts back telling Bella I will be right down. I drop my phone in my pocket and pat the pocket making my way to the elevator. I rush out the elevator and into Bella's waiting arms.

Strangely, our greeting seems to be comforting rather than passionate. Bella seems to find solace in my arms. She wraps her arms around my back and holds on to me tightly. She sniffs my chest and, _currently unaware of her emotional state_, I laugh at her gesture.

"Come on, I have a special place reserved for our very first ever special Christmas lunch." I carry the lunch in one hand and weave our fingers together in the other. Bella follows close behind. I am determined to make this indeed a special tradition. I lead Bella to an unfamiliar area of the hospital. She giggles when I pull out a set of keys and unlock the door that read Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"Special huh? I bet momma bear had something to do with this."

"Nope, I thought of dad's office all on my own. I'm not all about good looks you know. I also have some brains up here." I point to the side of my head.

Dad's office has a sofa and coffee table which I have already decorated with a Christmas table cloth, plates and cups. I hand the lunch back to Bella to let her plate the food.

We eat and talk about nothing in particular and then about how much Bella has enjoyed her first Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with the Cullen clan. I mention that I did sneak down to Jasper's floor for some of my mom's baked goods but promised I did not ruin my appetite. Bella pretends to be upset but I see right through her playfulness.

When they finish our meal we relax back on the sofa. I pull Bella into my arms and placed her legs over mine. _Something is slightly off with her despite her smiles and laughs._ I know I have to get back to work soon so I don't want to start anything that I know I can't finish. However, I do have a special surprise for Bella. It has been burning a hole in my pocket all day.

I play with Bella's hands for a few moments turning them palm up and then palm down. Admittedly, I'm a bit nervous.

"Edward, what are you doing you silly man?"

Instead of answering Bella's question, I turn her hand palm up once more and place an exquisitely wrapped small ring size box in her hand.

Bella gasps at the tiny box sitting in her shaking hand.

**A/N: Part 2 should post soon. Please review if you read this chapter. Let me know what you think; I do take suggestions into consideration. Thanks for your support!**


	25. Chapter 25 White Christmas part 2

**A/N: Over 1.9k visits and views last chapter! That's a record for me but a few more reviews would be nice too (wink wink). Thank you to all who are sticking with the story. The story is beta'd so please forgive all the mistakes. If you find any blatant errors let me know so I can go back and make revisions.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all except Sheldon and Penny. I don't own them either. **

**Chapter 25 "White Christmas" Part 2**

_**BPoV**_

I stare at the exquisitely wrapped gift, the delicate ribbon bond tightly around the box and my heart beat races. At the weight of this tiny box's significance, I panic. A swirl of painful memories . . . images of a trapped Renee and a shattered Charlie and a failed marriage and a young girl growing up way too early collide in a whirlwind. My palms sweat; my hands tremble. I'm certain this is going to end badly, very badly.

Edward clears his throat, "Um Bella, are you just going to keep staring at it or are you going to open it?" His eyes travel from the box into the eyes of the storm. "What on earth are you thinking Bella? You have the strangest look in your eyes."

At Edward's words, I blink away the storm away.

"Traditionally, when someone gives you a gift um I think you say _'thank you'_ then you open it." An unexpected nervous laugh escapes. Realization crosses his face and morphs from happiness to a hurtful shock. "I don't think that box is going to open itself," murmurs Edward. His smile melts away and the unopened gift vibrates about his quivering hand.

The tremble of my hand travels up my arms and down to my toes; I attempt to control the shaking of my body as my trapped heart tries to escape. Broken fragmented thoughts of Charlie and Renee morph and collide with thoughts of Edward as I continue to stare at his gift. _'This is too much too fast . . . I can't hurt him . . . I love . . . I have to get out of here . . . I can't hurt him . . . this is too fast . . . I have to leave . . . I can't, this is too fast . . . too soon . . . I won't hurt him . . . what the fuck am I doing here?'_

Trying to calm my nerves, I inhale a few deep sharp soothing breathes hesitant to look into Edward's hurtful eyes as I breathe in and out. _I wish I had a brown paper bag right now . . . does that even work?_

"Ed . . . Ed. . . Edward," I softly stutter, "I . . . I . . . this . . . this is too much . . . too soon." My eyes pool with tears knowing I am about to hurt him with my rejection.

**EPoV**

Listening to Bella's stuttered words and seeing the tears in her eyes, a light bulb illuminates above my head. Honestly, I had not given thought to what Bella might think of the gift. I smile and shake my head side to side.

"Oh, no, no, no Bella. It's not what you think." I move a bit closer to comfort her. "I promise. You're right. It is way too early for _that_. Please, trust me okay. Just open it," I plead.

A somewhat placated Bella nods. She rips away the ribbon and slowly tears away the wrapping paper her eyes darting between the box and me. Once the wrapping is off, I take the box from her hands. I place the box in my left hand opening the lid with the right.

At its contents, a confused expression crosses her face but, this time, she is looking between my smiling face and the _man ring_ in the box. Yes, a_ man ring?_

"Ummmm . . . thank you?" Bella's brow creases and she awkwardly smiles. "I love it?"

"May I?" I smirk as I remove the man ring from the box.

Bella simply nods looking perplexed, mystified as to why I'm giving her a _man ring_. Her expression morphs again, "Oh Edward, I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? You give me a gift and instead of being grateful, I act like a thankless twit . . . I'm totally ashamed of myself. Please forgive me?" She pleads.

Bella watches as I pull the ring from the box. I hold the ring above my head as a delicate platinum chain dangles off the band. She closely reexamines the ring. "It appears to be some sort of school ring, a man's school ring but . . . but the ring size seems way too small for a man."

Trapping Bella's eyes with mine, I nervously whisper, "Bella, in high school, I never really had time for a girlfriend. I was always too busy studying. I didn't have time for girls let alone a girlfriend."

At my declaration, Bella relaxes and sly smiles.

"Picture this, a seventeen year old high school boy genius, tall gangly science geek, president of the Biology Club, and very unsexy black thick rimmed glasses."

"Mmmmmm . . . yummy. . . black rimmed glasses. Did you have a pocket protector too Sheldon junior?"

Bella's voice is deep and husky and, suddenly, there is a gleam in her eye. _Focus I tell myself._

"Bella, you make me feel like a seventeen year old high school boy who can't control his hormones. You're all I ever think about." I smirk as I wiggle my eyebrows up and down.

Surprisingly, Bella giggles and blushes at my sincere words.

"Please believe me when I say this. I've _never_ really had a steady girlfriend. Girlfriends weren't really part of my plan but they are now. I mean _you_ are now . . . um but when I was in high school they weren't. Damn, I don't know why I'm so nervous. I planned exactly what I wanted to say to you. I wanted this to be perfect and . . . and I'm screwing this up." Briefly, I pause to collect my thoughts. Recapturing her eyes, I bravely declare, "Bella, I want you to be my first, my last . . . my forever."

As she listens to my teenage confessions, Bella's tears teeter on the rims of her eyes just a blink away from trickling down her blushed cheeks.

Sounding like a teenager again my voice cracks as I ask, "Bella Swan, would you go steady with me?"

_**BPoV**_

And just like that, poof! All the images of Renee and Charlie and a grown up little girl disappear in a puff of smoke at his heartbreakingly romantic words. _This man is my Mr. Darcy, my Heathcliff and my Edward Ferrars with a dash of Dr. Sheldon Cooper all rolled up in one. _With that thought, the floodgates open and my tears fall. I hesitate for a nanosecond before whispering, "Yes, Edward Cullen, I'll go steady with you."

Beaming smiles spreads across our faces. Edward takes my hand in his.

"Okay, so you'll wear my ring?"

I giggle a school girl giggle, "Oh my God! Is that what the _man ring_ is Edward?"

"Hey, that's not a man ring." Edward's voice fakes outrage. "I'll have you know this is my Dartmouth class ring! I had it sized down to fit your ring finger _but_ you can also wear it around your neck . . . whatever you prefer." A pensive look crosses his face. "Do kids these days even go steady or do they jump straight into sex?"

"Really Edward," I arch my brow, "_kids these days._ What are you like a 109 or something? Next thing you know, you'll be calling my dad to get his permission to court me before taking me out for an ice cream sundae," I tease.

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny." Edward rolls his eyes at my sarcasm. "Now, do you want to wear _my _ring on your finger or around your neck?" He dangles the chain on his finger as it slightly swings side to side.

Staring deeply into his eyes, "Edward, I would be honored to go steady with you. I may even live dangerously and go on an unchaperoned stroll with you, better yet, let's live on the wild side and sip an ice tea on your mother's veranda but," I hesitate, "but I_ cannot_ take your graduation ring!" I don't give him time to interrupt. "If you have forgotten, I was there when your parents gave you that ring! I remember momma bear's face when she gave it to you. She cried when she saw your reaction to her gift to you. Don't you remember? What would she say if you gave it to me?" My voice raises an octave in nervous excitement.

"Bella, just calm down and do me a favor and read the inscription."

"Inscription?" In my nervous rant, I fail to notice the downsized man ring has a delicate inscription inside the band. I closely hold the ring up to the light and read '_Bella and Edward . . . Forever'_ And the waterworks begin as I reread, "Bella and Edward . . . Forever." With blurred vision, I look into Edward's beaming face.

"Forever," he echos just like a silly love sick seventeen year old high school boy before he takes the ring from me.

"Now, let's get down to business, right ring finger or neck."

"Neck, please."

Dangling the ring on the chain, he places it on my chest, moves my hair to the side and clasps the chain around neck. He softly kisses the back of my neck before moving my hair back.

An electrical jolt travels down my spine as I touch the ring and agree, _'Forever.'_

Edward pulls me toward his chest. We embrace as he seals the deal with a kiss to the top of my head.

"My Bella."

"My Edward."

Snuggling in each other's arms, we sit in comfortable silence. Every once in a while, my fingers trace the outline of my man ring and grin. Finally, I break the silence. "Edward, I love that we're going steady . . . and that I'm wearing your man ring but I sincerely hope momma bear won't be too hurt that you gave me your Dartmouth ring. You do know I would have been just as happy with a cherry flavored ring pop."

"Bella," He inhales into my ear sending chills down to my toes, "who do you think took the ring to the jewelers to have it inscribed, sized and bought the matching chain for me?" He playfully captures my earlobe between his teeth and my nostrils flair in excitement.

"Momma bear?" I ask in shortened shivered breaths. "So she's not going to be angry?"

"Nope," Edward confirms smugly. "Quite the contrary, she would have been quite disappointed if you returned home _without_ my ring around your neck or on your finger."

For a few moments more, we sit quietly in each other's arms before I once again break the silence. "Edward, can I tell you something?" Suddenly, I'm shy as I entwine our fingers.

"Bella, you're my steady gal. You can tell me anything." His playful words have a serious undertone.

"I'm sorry I panicked when I first saw your gift. I . . . I thought it was a different kind of ring. I . . . I um . . . I hope I didn't hurt your feelings."

"No Bella, I'm sorry. Honestly, I didn't think about your possible reaction to a box that size. I guess I wasn't thinking. I think I was too excited to give you my ring . . . but . . . but, rest assured, the next time I present you with a box that size it won't be during lunch in my father's office, Christmas or not."

"Can I tell you one more thing," I murmur into his chest inhaling a whiff of his unique scent to get me through the rest of the day.

"Of course you can my official steady girlfriend," he teases.

"I never had a boyfriend in high school and um . . . um . . . this is my first time ever going steady too." I bury my face deeper into Edward's chest at my silly confession.

"So I'm your first?" smirks Edward.

"Well not my first . . ."

Edward growls at my words.

". . . sorry but you _are_ my first steady boyfriend."

**EPoV**

I reign in this new found jealousy, "You know Bella now that we're going steady and all don't you think it's about time we went out on a date or two."

"Nope, dates are overrated. I like things just the way they are." Bella declares in between the soft kisses she is placing down my neck.

Two things happen simultaneously, I lower my lips to meet Bella's just as my alarm goes off. We groan aware our first ever special Christmas lunch is officially over.

"I'm sorry babe. I wish we could continue this," I lightly peck her lips, "but I have to go. Thank you so much for this delicious lunch but, more importantly, thank you for officially being my girlfriend. I'll see you tonight at dinner okay." I stand beginning to help Bella clean up.

Bella waves my hand away. "Give me a good bye kiss and go back to work. I've got this. And, don't snack on any Christmas goodies because I am cooking a very special dinner for you and your family," she warns.

"Yes ma'am," I salute exiting my dad's office.

_**BPoV**_

After tidying up Carlisle's office, I race home to get started on my Christmas dinner. Before I start my meal, I call Charlie to wish him a Happy Christmas. Hoping he isn't still on duty, I chance a call to his cell phone, no answer, no surprise there. I dial another number and, when he answers the station's phone, I purse my lips and roll my eyes. "Workaholic," I mumble.

"Happy Christmas, Dad! Arrest any elves today?" I spot a picture of Edward on the desk and suddenly my voice sings with a bit more excitement than usual. I try to hide my girlish giggle as a different image of my new steady boyfriend Edward invades my thoughts. I clear my throat and shake off a sexy Dr. Cullen image. _What the hell is wrong with me for heaven's sake; I'm talking to my dad! _

"Hey Bells, Merry Christmas to you honey. No, no elves but I did stop a red nosed reindeer. Got him locked in the cell on suspicion of drunk driving. Just finished impounding his sleigh," chortles Charlie. "Are you having a good Christmas with the Cullens? You sound like you're in a pretty good yourself. You been drinking that spiked eggnog again?" Charlie snorts again.

"Ummm, you could say that. So, what are your plans for the rest of your day dad?"

"Well, Billy invited a bunch of us over for an early dinner and then I'm coming back to the station for a few more hours until the guy on the night shift shows up."

I huff in frustration. "Dad, you're supposed to be taking it easy not work a 24 hour shift," I scold him like a child.

"I know, I know but one of the guys asked if I would cover part of his shift . . ."

My good mood is all but gone knowing Charlie is working all day and most of Christmas night. Our family was never big on Christmas traditions or the holidays but I still don't like the fact that he is working so many hours in one day. It isn't good for his health and he knows better than that. I worry that he isn't really taking proper care of himself.

"Well, don't overdue okay. You know it's not good for your health. I'll see you in a few weeks and when I get there absolutely no work understand Chief?"

"Okay, Bells I promise. By the way, thanks for the quilt. Billy said it matches my bedroom perfectly. Said he wouldn't mind having one for his room."

"You and Billy sound like a pair of old women but I'm glad you like it dad. I'll let Esme know, it'll make her day. So, what color quilt does Billy want?" _My dad is none too subtle_.

Charlie mumbles, "Oh well, um . . . don't go out of your way Bells . . . but um, earth tones would be nice. You light browns and forest green maybe."

"Earth tones, really dad you and Billy really are a pair of old women but I'll see what I can do okay. Listen, I have to go okay. I'll see you in a couple of weeks. I love you dad."

"Love you too kid. Always have, always will. And don't forget to give your mom a call okay."

"Sure, sure but she probably doesn't even realize today's Christmas," I drone.

After ending the call, I reflect for a moment that maybe Charlie and I can start our own holiday traditions like the Cullen family shares; it's never too late to begin. I make a mental note to discuss it with Charlie when I visit. A wave of hopeful melancholy floods my thoughts until I hear Alice and Esme's arguing voices. I follow the voices to the kitchen where I discover Esme starting _my_ dinner.

"Oh no you don't young lady this is _my_ gift to you. Now out." I stamp my foot, sternly pointing toward the door ordering Esme out of her own kitchen.

Alice trails behind a sullen Esme into the family room as I busy myself peeling potatoes and seasoning the roast and so on. I want everything to be perfect for my guests. Every so often Esme sneaks in and trying to help but I stand firm and chase her out with whatever kitchen utensil is in my hand at the moment. Eventually, I relent, partly because I'm tuckered out, and permit Esme to make some homemade biscuits as Alice sets a festive table. Carlisle volunteers to select a few bottles of red wine to compliment the roast.

_**EPoV**_

Jasper and I rush to the apartment to pack an overnight bag, grab a quick shower, and set of clean clothes but I chose to wear a suit and tie for Bella's special dinner. I stuff Bella's other gift in my bag before we make our way to Casa Cullen. Walking through the door, my senses are assaulted with the heavenly aroma of my favorite meal of medium rare roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes and glazed carrots. I gleam with pride knowing that _my_ _girl_ has cooked Christmas dinner for me.

Dinner is a mish mash of conversation and laughter and lots and lots of scrumptious food and drink. Carlisle sits at the head of the table while Esme sits at the other end. The other couples scatter around the table in no particular pairing. Everyone praises Bella on her fabulous dinner.

Mom's eyes sparkle with pride, "I am beyond happy that my empty nest is once again filled with my babies and then some."

Dad winks at mom's glowing face several times. The rest of the dinner conversation flows between hospital talk, Alice's business, Bella's upcoming trip and Christmas gifts. The women gush at Bella's gift from Edward. Jasper and Emmett tease Edward about his romantic gesture. Rosalie smacks the back of Emmett's head telling him to shut it. Jasper relays to Esme that her Christmas smorgasbord was a huge success and the staff is hoping for seconds on New Year's Day. Mom blushes adding that the girls helped too. And once again, dad winks with pride at his blushing wife.

Emmett and I battle for the number of servings until the roast and all the fixings disappear. To say that I'm proud as a peacock of my girl is an understatement. I marvel at how perfectly she fits into my family and my plans. _I know, I know it too soon but a man can dream can't he_?

After we have devoured the last of our holiday dinner, everyone gathers around the Christmas tree. I run up and change into more comfortable clothes, slip on my slippers grabbing Bella's slippers on the way out of her room. Dad fiddles with the fireplace before joining mom on the sofa.

I sit at Bella's feet and pull off her shoes. I give her a quick foot massage. I snort when she attempts to suppress a few moans then slip on her black and pink Hello Kitty slippers. I cozy up to Bella on the other end of the couch.

"Thank you for the massage. How did you know my feet are killing me?"

"I'm a doctor; doctors know these things."

Bella giggles as she rubs her feet in her slippers. "And, by the way," she places a kiss to my cheek, "you looked mighty handsome in your suit Dr. Cullen."

I return the kiss and thank her.

As Alice always does, she takes charge of handing out gifts. With the exception of a very few gifts, the majority of the Christmas presents appear to be silly gag gifts.

"Oh goodie, my presents are going to fit right in. I was a little worried," she whispers in my ear.

"I assume this is for you." Alice hands Bella a small bag with a tag that reads '_to Penny from Sheldon_.' She then hands me a gift which looks like a giant wrapped tootsie roll. The tag reads '_to Sheldon from Penny_.' "This is obviously yours."

"On three?" I ask.

"On three," Bella concurs.

"One . . . two . . . three," we count aloud in unison.

As I rip off the wrapping paper and curled ribbon, Bella pulls the tissue paper out of the bag. Knowing smiles cross our faces. I hold up a light grey _soft kitty_ t-shirt while Bella pulled out a pale _pink soft_ kitty.

"Thank you Sheldon! It's exactly what I wanted."

"You're welcome Penny," I wink before lifting Bella on my lap placing soft kisses on her lips. "I guess great minds think alike."

"I guess they do . . . _kiss . . ._ I guess they do."

Alice hands out the last of the gifts. Too busy leaving a trail of kisses down her neck, I ask Bella to open my last gift since I'm otherwise preoccupied with something much more important. In her lust filled haze, she simply obliges. As Bells unwraps my last gift, I discreetly move her hair behind her ear placing steamy kisses around her ear. She trembles as she pulls out a frame from the box. She holds it up for me to see; I am, however, too distracted. My lips continue to send shivers down to her toes as I eye the frame she is holding.

"It's a frame," she announces in a breathless voice.

My lips freeze near Bella's neck as our eyes lock onto the picture in the frame. Slowly, I move from her neck as her hand begins to tremble. I reach toward the frame encasing a picture of Tanya and me sitting side by side laughing. I reach out removing the gift from Bella's hand and place it face down on the coffee table. I tightly wrap my arms around Bella and place a tender kiss to the top of her head before whispering, "My Bella."

Bella holds onto my protective arms whispering back, "My Edward."

I hope that the rest of his family is distracted by their own merriment to see that Bella is upset by the last gift.

_**BPoV**_

_Logically, I understand that the picture was taken long before I arrived in Seattle but seeing how well Edward and Tanya look together still stings. Seeing a real smile on his face, the kind of smile that reaches his eyes cuts me to the core. They appear to be the perfect couple; like they just fit so well together. She looks like a doctor's girlfriend . . . or wife should look. She doesn't look like the type of woman who would have purple highlights or proudly wear a pair of black and pink hello kitty slippers or wear soft kitty t-shirts or travel around the country afraid to settle down in any one place for too long._

Edward pulls me closer to his chest and whispers _my Bella_ again. Another kiss to the top of my head brings me out of my self-doubts and insecurities. Cowardly, I glance up and lock eyes with Esme who gives me a reassuring wink. I close my eyes and with a slight smile on my face shake my head in acknowledgment.

Each couple sit contently in each other's arms listening to the Christmas music floating in the background as we appreciate the twinkling lights and warm fire.

**EPoV**

I feel Bella's breathing change and realize she's fallen asleep. I rub her back and she stirs.

"Come on, let's go to bed. It's been a long day," I yawn.

Still sleepy, Bella yawns and stretches.

"Well guys, this has got to be one of the best Christmases ever but I think we're going to call it a night. Sleeping Beauty here can't seem to keep her eyes opened. Thanks again for everything."

Apparently, Bella isn't the only one tired. Mom's head rests on dad's shoulder while soft snores came from Alice who sleeps in Jasper's arms. Both Emmett and Rosalie are knocked out in the oversized chair.

Everyone stirs and mumbles 'good night' and 'Merry Christmas' before falling back to sleep.

I lean down to pick up Bella. She rests her head on my shoulder as I trudge up the stairs. I carry her bridal style to her room.

Downstairs the faced down frame remains abandoned on the coffee table.

Half asleep, we change into our pajamas and slip into Bella's bed. Before knocking out for the night, Bella reaches into her night stand and grabs one last wrapped gift. She handed it to me and with a hoarse voice whispers, "This is for both of us. Open it."

"Thank you," I yawn pulling away the paper. Despite the sleep that has overcome me, I can't help but laugh out loud.

"Tomorrow we can read chapter one together. Now, let's go to sleep," she grumbles in her sleep.

I place the _Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_ on the nightstand and then turn off the lamp. I snuggle behind Bella wrapping my arms around her. In her sleep, she weaves her fingers with mine and pulls me closer to her chest locking our legs. We exhale as I place one last loving kiss to the top of her head. She kisses my hands.

There's silence for a brief moment. The sound of the wind and soft rain hits the window drowning out the sounds of their breathing.

"I love you my Edward," she whispers into my hands.

"I love you my Bella," I speak into her hair. The haunting thought of the faced down frame lingered far in the back of my mind.

**A/N: So, what did you think? Please leave a review and let me know. I hoping to reach 200 reviews with this chapter. **


	26. Chapter 26 Together Forever House

**A/N: No excuse for posting this chapter so late. A big smile thank you to blk3660, queen cullen0527, sujari6, dvandever, guest, Vivi H88, jadedghost22 and Leibeezer for your reviews. A silly grin to Courtney518, Cmatt518, I AM Elizabeth Bennet, Stellybelle, Squeezy101, channas, emmettcullendisoder, dvandever, giovfamily, hollyandvine, liltwist, pcirish, redsonjacullen, stupidlamb2010 and sydsam10 for following my story this last week or so. If inclined, please leave a review if you like what you read. This chapter time is going to move the story forward in time. **

**Disclaimer: To quote Jerry Seinfeld, Yadda, yadda, yadda . . . Stephenie Meyer . . . yadda, yadda, yadda. I also don't own any part of The Big Bang Theory either. Sad face.**

**Chapter 26 "Together Forever" [House of Love Mix]**

**EPoV**

Despite the fact that I have two consecutive glorious days off from the hospital, my body automatically wakes up at 5 a.m. I plan on spending every precious second of that time with my steady gal. So, let's get things started I think to myself. I playfully smack Bella's ass and command her out of bed, instruct her to stuff some clothes and toiletries into her backpack, grab _my_ _Fifty Shades of_ _Grey_ trilogy set and meet me downstairs in fifteen minutes flat. "Time is a wasting." I plan on holding her captive in my apartment and bask in every free moment. With her soon leaving to follow her next whirlwind adventure and me starting my night shift rotation, time is indeed too precious to waste.

"Are you gonna tie me up to the bedpost so I don't escape," Bella wickedly teases as she stumbles out of bed rubbing her tingling backside.

"Hurry woman, you're wasting valuable time that could be otherwise used for . . . shall, I say, more interesting things." I wag my eyebrows and smirk before heading to the other bathroom to shower and dress.

In the kitchen, my parents are quietly enjoying their morning coffee. Mom is nibbling on some leftover cranberry bread. After all our Christmas snacking, none of us have been very hungry the last few days.

"Good morning my baby boy, you want something to eat?"

At her 'baby boy' greeting, I roll my eyes. I dearly love my mother but when, for goodness sakes, is she going to stop calling me 'baby boy.' The last few nights I've been having sleepovers with my girlfriend upstairs in her very own home. I grin at the thought of _my girlfriend_ but, I stamp my foot figuratively. _So, okay, yeah maybe I still am her baby boy_. "No thanks mom. I'm not hungry. Oh, and just so that you don't worry, Bella and I are heading out for a couple of days. Don't expect her home for the next few days."

"Why? Alice and I thought maybe Bella would go after Christmas shopping with us," mom pouts.

Just at that moment, Bella enters the kitchen packed and ready to go.

"Thank goodness, you're kidnapping me. I'd rather be tied up with a grey silk tie and locked in a red room than go shopping the day after Christmas."

Carlisle chokes spewing his coffee across the table.

Mom's eyes dart to her choking husband then to my very wide open eyes and settles on a smirking Bella.

"Bella, I think we better get going now." I grab her backpack hoping for a quick escape from this obviously embarrassing situation.

"Oh poppa bear don't worry. I was only kidding." Bella lightly pats my dad's back to ease his choking fit. "There will be no tying of hands or feet with a grey silk tie. Edward and I are only planning on doing some heavy reading." As she speaks, she walks over to me pulling out the first volume of my Christmas gift from her pack. She waves the book in the air. "See, just some heavy reading."

"Oooooh, I've been dying to read that book for so long," exclaims mom with a bit too much excitement. "Bella, may I please borrow the books when you're done?"

I cringe dropping my head to my chest shaking it back and forth and moan, "Please shoot me now." Being away at college for so many years, I had forgotten how blunt my mom can be at times. And, as much as I love Bella, she doesn't help the situation. _Yeah, I said the L word!_

"Oh momma bear, this isn't _my_ book . . ."

I moan again and reiterate, ". . . please, shoot me now."

". . . it's Edward's," Bella proudly professes. "I gave it to Eddie here for Christmas."

_Eddie, _yeah I guess being called _Eddie _sounds kind of cute coming from Bella but I digress from the issue at hand. I clear my throat and not looking either of my parents in the eye, I grab Bella's free hand, "Bella, come on. Let's go."

"Edward! Oh honey, maybe we could read the book all together." Mom rubs her palms together in thought. "I have an idea . . . perhaps we could form a Fifty Shades book club. We could read all three of them together. I am positive I could talk Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett into joining us."

"Mom you're not serious are you?" I can't hide the outrage in my voice. My Rick Astley lovin' mother knows about _these_ books. _My_ saintly mother wants to read these books out loud in the same room with her baby boy. _What in this world coming to?_ The idea of reading this book with my mother has just deflated my plans so to speak.

"Hey, I feeling out of the loop," dad interrupts. "What is the book about? I've never heard of it."

Gently, mom squeezes dad's thigh and whispers in his ear, "I'll tell you about when they leave." Her eyes sparkled with a wicked glimmer of mischief.

I shiver looking in Bella's direction before taking the book from an equally wicked smug Bella. I stuff the culprit in her backpack and wrap my arm around her waist directing her out of the kitchen calling out a quiet 'good bye.'

"Bye momma bear. Have fun explaining the book to poppa bear," snorts Bella as I drag her out the front door.

Once outside, I turn to Bella, "Really Bella, was that necessary? My father almost choked to death with your 'tying up' comment. He's going to think his son is some kind of sexual deviant once my mother tells him what this book is about!"

"Oh, stop being so dramatic. Believe me I'm positive _you_ are the last thing your father is going to be thinking about once your mother explains. Didn't you see that wicked gleam in her eye?"

I grumble at the image that has now invaded my head. "Thanks, now I have a completely different image in my head. If we plan on having sex anytime in the next two days, you have _got_ to stop talking about my parents and their sex life." _I desperately need to rid my mind of my parents and their sexual activities. _"Let's stop at the market and pick up a few groceries."_ Yeah, food, that'll do work._

_**BPoV**_

"Oh, don't think I can't see what you're trying to do Sheldon. You're trying to change the subject of your parents and sex," I shake my head and giggle as I get into the passenger's seat. "Okay, I'll go along with it if it will make your life easier." I switch gears. "I don't have to work today but I do have to work tomorrow afternoon for a few hours. So you only have a day and a half to do with me as you please." I wag my eyebrows at Edward as he looks straight ahead. His swallows hard at my words and I smile in satisfaction as his Adam's apple bobs up and down.

"While you're at work tomorrow, I can catch up on some reading but, let me be clear, I will be catching up on _medical_ reading and nothing more," he states emphatically. Repeating Esme's action, I snicker, place my hand on his thigh and squeeze. He reciprocates by placing his hand atop mine gently squeezing before interlocking our fingers. Edward looks down at our joined hands, he sighs. _We fit perfectly._

We ride in comfortable silence. I look out the window. Edward breaks the silence as he begins to hum then sings "_. . . together forever and never to part, together forever we two, And don't you know I would move heaven and earth, To be together forever with you . . ." _

Still looking out the passenger's window, I join in mumbling through the words I don't know as Edward's singing becomes louder; more telling. When the song ends, he raises our joined hands to his lips. "Yup, we fit perfectly," he sighs through the kiss.

**EPoV**

The next two days are filled with more 'getting to know each other better' questions as we cuddle on the sofa. We nap wrapped in each other's arms followed by a quickie or two, read a few chapters from the book that will not be named, as Edward now refers to it, followed by more quickies and two nights filled with long slow love making. On two occasions, Jasper pops in to shower and shave before making a quick exit. While Bella is at work, I catch up on some much needed _medical_ reading and review some notes. I call mom to ask for help with cooking a romantic dinner for Bella. "No mother. Absolutely not, I want to do this on my own. You can't come over to help. I'm a grown man. I can do this; I just need a little assistance." I want to do this all on my own for my steady girl.

Over my disaster of a romantic dinner, we discuss our plans for New Year's Eve as Bella teases me about obviously not inheriting Esme's cooking skills. I scowl pretending to be hurt by her playful insults but, in all honesty, I had to acknowledge I did indeed not share mom's cooking skills. I offer to order a pizza but Bella will not hear of it.

"Don't be silly. This is the most lip-smacking food I have ever eaten because it was cooked by you . . . with love." She flutters her long dark lashes at me and smirks.

I roll my eyes as I bite into a piece of undercooked potato. "Seriously, I will not be offended in the least if you want to order a pizza with toppings of your choice."

We argue about how to spend my upcoming _golden weekend_. I want to go to Forks to meet Charlie; Bella wants to explore more of Seattle's hidden treasures. After some shrewd reasoning and compromising, Bella wins out. We have some pretty hot make up sex on the kitchen counter before sharing a second round in the shower.

My voice is as soft as the moonlight glow illuminating the room. I talk about my new nighttime rotation softly tracing circles on her back. She sighs at the tingling sensation my fingers leave on her body. I never tire of the cosmic electric shock I feel at the slightest touch of her skin. I pray our cosmic connection never ends.

Half asleep, Bella mumbles into her pillow about her upcoming Northern Lights trip, her hopes of hearing mystical legends from the locals, capturing some amazing photographs of the lights to add to her journal and the possibility of traveling somewhere much warmer for her next trip. She snuggles against the mattress to get comfortable. Suddenly, her hands reach to her neck as she unclasps the chain placing her ring on the nightstand. Once free of the ring, she snuggles up against my chest as a satisfied smirk crosses my face.

Noticing her change in breathing, I reach to the nightstand setting the alarm at an ungodly early morning hour. Although physically exhausted, I'm unable to sleep, a myriad of thoughts jetting about my mind. Hoping some soft music will calm my jetting thoughts; I shuffle the music on my IPod before settling into bed. Settling back into bed, Bella instinctively gravitates toward me and my smirk returns. We are a tangled mess of arms and legs. Staring into the darkness, I exhale a slow soothing breath before kissing the top of her head and shutting my eyes.

As much as I was looking forward to my _golden weekend_, I wanted to make our first New Year's Eve together unforgettable. So I did the unthinkable for a first year resident. I made the ultimate sacrifice and traded my golden weekend for New Year's Day off. It was easy to find a first year resident willing trade one day for three days off.

With the Christmas rush over, I knew mom would be more than willing to help with the arrangements. I emailed her a detailed list of what I wanted. Romance was the theme for the night. I instructed her to add any touches she felt necessary but warned her not to go too overboard. I knew mom only had a few days to get this together but, when mom's on a mission, there is no stopping her. And, mom was on a mission.

_**BPoV**_

The musicians are louder than normal tonight; the boisterous crowd is singing along and banging on the tables. The holidays do that to people no matter what part of the country you are. It's hard to hear yourself think over the clicking of glasses and the merriment and music. Lauren leans over the bar and yells in my ear, "Hey Bella, what are you doing New Year's Eve?"

I jump up and yell back into her ear, "Um, to be honest Lauren, I haven't made any definite plans yet. As long as I can catch the fireworks and take some pictures from the Space Needle and kiss Edward at midnight, I think I'll be good. What are you doing? Got any special plans?"

I catch Seth eyeing Lauren's backside as she leans against the bar. I give him the evil eye and he smirks before turning away.

"Ummm . . . well . . ." She eyes Seth before turning back to me. "I think I have a late night date," she giggles.

I roll my eyes knowing she's obviously talking about Seth. "When did that start?"

"When did what start?" Lauren innocently asks. _Yeah, she doesn't pull off the innocent act very well. _

Before we can continue our conversation, my boss clears his throat. "Bella, can I speak with you for a moment . . . in my office?"

It's never a good sign when the boss wants to talk to you in the office. "Sure," I stutter. Seriously, what else can I say? I follow him to his office and shut the door behind me.

Sam takes a seat behind his desk as he waves his hand to an empty chair. "Have a seat and don't look so worried. I'm not firing you; I just need to ask you something and it's louder than normal out there."

I let out a huge sigh of relief at his comforting words. "That's a relief. So what's up boss?"

Sam seems nervous as he begins to speak. "Okay, so I know you're scheduled to be off at ten on New Year's Eve. . . but ummm . . . I need you to umm . . . stay until one instead."

I cringe at his words again; my heart sinks. I desperately want to see the Space Needle fireworks show. It's one of the major reasons I came to Seattle in the first place. More importantly, however, I need to kiss Edward at midnight.

"One of the waiters had a family emergency and I need you to cover his tables. You're a great waitress Bella and I hate to play the boss card but I _am_ doing you a giant favor by saving your job while you're gone next month."

"Yeah well, you got me there." I need all the extra money I can get my hands on for my trip so there's nothing I can do but agree to cover the shift. "There's always next year." _I shock myself at my own words of next year._

"Thanks Bella, you're a life saver."

"Yeah, I'm a life saver." I repeat in less enthusiastically. On my way back to the floor, I text Edward the bad news before dropping my phone into my apron pocket.

**EPoV**

It's been so long since Jasper and I have spent any time together. Since starting our first year of residency, we're more like two ships passing in the night. Tonight, however, we finished our shifts at the same time. We relax on the sofa, eat one of Bella's frozen dinners and watch a rerun of The Big Bang Theory. Well not a rerun for me since I still haven't caught up on all the seasons yet. My phone vibrates with a text message. "What! No, no way. This can't be happening."

"What's the matter man?"

"It's Bella. She just text me telling me she has to work on New Year's Eve until one in the morning."

"That sucks but don't you work the next day anyway? It's not like you guys could go out and party all night long."

I explained my romantic New Year's Eve plans to Jasper. When I finished my story, Jasper picks up his phone and the crack of a whip escapes his phone. He smirks a lopsided smirk.

"What the hell is that?" I ask with a quizzical look on my face.

"That my dear friend is the sound of a whip because _that_ is what you are."

Forgetting my dilemma for a moment, I ask, "And why exactly do you have an app that makes the sound of a whip?"

Jasper then explains he got the idea from a Big Bang Theory episode. He found the app and was confident that it would somehow eventually be put to good use. ". . . but I didn't think I would be using it this soon." He smirks again.

I roll my eyes. "Can we get back to the problem at hand please? What am I going to do? My mom's already done most of the leg work. This is a disaster." I drop my head into my hands rubbing my face in frustration.

"Calm your horses there big fellow. All you gotta do is get another waiter or waitress to cover her shift." Jasper states calmly before hitting the whip app again.

"Okay genius, exactly how am I going to do that? I don't know any of Bella's coworkers. Oh, this is a disaster," I repeat.

"Calm down Sheldon. I have a plan."

I listen intently as Jasper speaks. He really is a sneaky bastard, smart but sneaky and I think his plan is going to work. I call mom to explain the current state of affairs. She gasps at my news but listens as I relay Jasper's plan of attack.

"Don't worry about a thing baby boy. I've got this under control. You and Bella are going to have the most memorable and romantic New Year's Eve in the history of all romantic New Year's Eves or my name isn't Esme Cullen."

Bella texts me telling me she will be off work in about fifteen more minutes. I text her back letting her know I'll be outside waiting. "Thanks for all your help Jazz. I really appreciate it. I just hope this works." I take my plate to the kitchen, slip on my shoes and grab my car keys. "I'll see you later. I'm gonna pick up Bella from work. I'll probably just hang out with Bella tonight. Talk to you later." As I shut the door, I hear the sound of the crack of the whip one last time. "Asshole," I call out as I hear Jasper laugh.

**BPoV**

I must have been really tired last night. The next morning I can barely whisper goodbye as Edward quietly makes his way down the stairs for his shift at the hospital.

"Well good morning sleepy head," laughs Esme as she pours me a cup of fresh coffee. I love how momma bear spoils me.

I rub the sleep from my eyes as I let out a loud morning yawn. "Thanks momma bear. I was bushed last night; the restaurant was so busy."

"Edward told me about New Year's Eve. I'm so sorry sweetie. I know how badly you wanted to take pictures of the fireworks. You must be so disappointed." _Let the interrogations begin._

I hold my coffee cup to my nose inhaling the aroma hoping the smell will help me wake up. "Yup, I am disappointed but what can I do," I drawl out. "Sam is holding my job for me while I'm away next month. I kinda owe him. Besides, there's always next year." I sip my coffee noticing Esme's Cheshire cat grin at my words _'always next year.'_

"So, who's working with you on New Year's Eve?" Esme asks as she rises to scramble some eggs.

I take another sip of coffee. "Well, I know that Lauren is working that night for sure and some of the servers on the day shift. I pretty sure Bree's working . . . Siobhon, Claire, Jared and Maggie . . . oh yeah and Diego but lucky Lauren gets off at ten. She told me she has a late night date planned. She's working this afternoon since she gets off early tomorrow night." I ramble on.

_BINGO! _"So do you work today?" Esme asks trying to hide the excitement in her voice.

"Nah, I'm off today since I work late tomorrow night. Sam said it was the least he could do." I shrug before finishing off my first cup of coffee trying not to think about disappointment. Then my eyes shoot open. "I just thought of something. Edward works the day after New Year's Eve so really we couldn't have done anything anyway. I really just wanted to kiss Edward at midnight but I can kiss him anytime I want so what's the big deal." I smile. "I feel better."

Esme plates my eggs and toast and pours me another cup of coffee. "Okay, so this is what we are going to do today. Since you don't work how about we do something girly. Let me call Rosalie and Alice to meet us. We'll get our hair done, maybe a mani-pedi and definitely a massage.

"I'm not much of a mani-pedi kinda gal but what the heck, it's the holidays." I finish my second cup of coffee and grub down my breakfast.

Esme and I meet Rosalie and Alice at the salon. We sit and chit-chat about nails and hair. I have to admit, I'm having fun doing this girly stuff. As Alice and I discuss the pros and cons of gel nails, Esme's phone vibrates. She reads a text and places her phone back in her purse.

"I'm so sorry girls but Carlisle is having some sort of car problem. I have to meet him at the mechanic."

"Ahhhh," we cry in disappointment.

Esme talks to the receptionist then turns back to us. "Don't let car trouble ruin the day. Get the works, my treat." She smiles holding up a black credit card. "Take care of my girls." She winks at the receptionist. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

**EsPoV**

I drive like a bat out of hell to the closest bank to make a sizeable withdrawal. I'm not sure how much I'm going to need, better to be safe than sorry. I pray the plan works. Next, I walk into the restaurant and ask for a table for one in Lauren's section.

Lauren walks up to my table. "Hey, I recognize you. You're a friend of Bella's right?"

I smile. "Yes, yes I most definitely am Bella's friend. You're Lauren right?" I ask innocently. _I'm good. _ She nods. "Nice to meet you Lauren, I'm Esme Cullen." I reach my hand out to shake hers. "Now that we're friends Lauren, how about you sit so we can chat?" Lauren looks confused. "I have a proposition for you." I wave to the empty chair across from me inviting her to sit.

"I guess I can sit for a minute," Lauren stretches out the words confused at the request of a near stranger.

As soon as Lauren sits, I lay my cards on the table so to speak. She listens intently as I speak. "Oh, that is so romantic. I wish I had a man like that." She swoons at my story. "Mrs. Cullen, do you have another son for me?"

"Sorry sweetie, I only have one baby boy and he is all Bella's." I laugh when Lauren pouts at my news. We strategically negotiate back and forth for a few minutes. "So, do we have a deal?"

"Yes, we have a deal. My date will just have to wait until one, no biggie." Lauren answers confidently. "Let me go talk to Sam right now. I'll be right back and let you know what he says."

A few minutes later Lauren returns to my table, all smiles. "All set. Bella works until ten tomorrow and I work until one."

At her news, I reach into my purse and inconspicuously slide three hundred dollars into Lauren's anxiously waiting hands.

"Thanks for the tip." Lauren stands, "Now that that is over with, what can I get you to eat?"

"Oh I'm sorry sweetie. I'm not really hungry. I have to get going but thanks again. I can't tell you how much my son will appreciate you switching shifts. It was good doing business with you. Happy New Year Lauren."

"Happy New Year Mrs. Cullen."

As I make my way to my car, I smile contently knowing that my baby boy will have the New Year's Eve he planned with his steady girl. I'm not one to flaunt my money but when it comes to my children, this fierce momma bear will do everything and anything, including bribing a more than willing waitress. I text my baby boy letting him know his plans are back on. That was fun. I would have made a good spy I laugh to myself.

Alice, Rosalie and Bella are getting their pedicures by the time I return to the salon. "I'm back!"

"Mom, you're just in time for a pedi. Have a seat."

Just as I settle my feet into the warm tub, I hear Bella's phone ring. I casually watch as she reads a text. I smile as she smiles a Happy New Year kind of smile at the phone's screen.

"Lauren just text. She said Sam changed the shift for tomorrow night. I work until ten instead of one. I can't believe it." Bella cries. "I'm going to text Edward right now and tell him the fantastic news!"

**A/N: **Next chapter should be up within the week. I know there were no lemons but next chapter should more than make up for it. I would love a review. It would make me as happy as Bella is right now.


	27. Chapter 27 Portrait of My Love part 1

**A/N: First let me thank dazzleglo, blk3660, queen cullen0527 and Leibeezer for your chapter 26 reviews. I can't tell you how happy you make me especially when I'm feeling insecure about my story. With only 4 reviews, I'm not sure how the readers are responding to my Edward and Bella. Chapter 26 had over 2.3k visits and views but, sadly, only 4 reviews. Please, if you read this chapter, leave a review to tell me what you think. I will be so grateful for all comments on the story. Secondly, thanks to the story's new followers: EdiBell, Harley97, SillyBeautifulOversensitiveGirl, Evelynn grey, lalalalalaxD, and 11woww11 for following my story. You make me happy. Now on with New Year's Eve celebration. This chapter will be divided into two parts. I hope you don't mind too much. P.s. this chapter isn't beta'd so all mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all except Sheldon and Penny. I don't own them either. **

**Chapter 27 "Portrait of My Love" part 1**

**EPoV**

Bingo! The moment my phone vibrates and I read Bella's text I know Jasper's plan has worked; I know mom's restaurant reconnaissance has worked as well. I text Bella telling her will talk about New Year's Eve plans tonight when I get home. _I like that . . . home with Bella. _I text mom to confirm the rest of my plans are a go. She returns my text with _'you doubt my mad skills' _and asmiley face. I grin as I return to work. Not even the severe expression on my senior resident's face can affect my good mood. I clear my throat, "Good afternoon, Dr. Stanley."

She mumbles, "Cullen" as she stares me down.

I stand just outside the doorway of Bella's room watching her intently scribbling an entry in her journal. If I didn't want to devour every inch of that woman right this moment, I could stand here for an eternity watching my girl.

Apparently sensing she is being watched, Bella looks up from her journal and smiles a smile that illuminates the entire room. My heart soars. She closes her book, places it on the nightstand and pats an invitation for me to join her on her bed.

I close and lock her bedroom door before toeing off my shoes making my way to her bed. Willingly, I mold my body to hers wrapping her in my arms and legs. She weaves her fingers in my unmanageable hair tugging and massaging my scalp. I breathe her in before capturing her lips with mine. Her tongue begs entrance and I gladly oblige. My eyes close from pure unadulterated pleasure. Our bodies move in sync as whimpers escape our kisses. Desperate for oxygen, despite my need for Bella's kisses, I end our kisses with two soft pecks to her swollen lips. Breathlessly, I whisper, "hi."

She slowly opens her eyes and breathlessly whispers back, "hi you."

I can't help but place a couple of soft kisses on her cheeks and forehead. She contently closes her eyes again and smiles so I place a wisp of a kiss to each of her eyes. "Best hello kiss ever. I can easily get use to this." I nuzzle my face against her neck inhaling her fragrance.

"I know whatcha mean. This . . . um . . . this is nice," Bella stutters as I continue my ministration to her neck ". . . but as nice as this is you better not give me a hickey Dr. Cullen. I got the prettiest dress ever for tomorrow night and there is no way I can hide a hickey. So knock it off," she orders through a weak laugh.

I stop my kisses to her neck but keep my lips remain connected to her skin. "Okay but you're no fun," I pout. "Speaking of tomorrow, why did your shift change? Not that I'm complaining, I'm just curious." _I know exactly why her shift changed. _I continue to speak while my lips travel to her earlobe as she moans in anticipation. I run the tip of my tongue along the trail of her ear breathing heavily. Her body shivers as she begins to speak.

"I . . . um . . . I . . . oh Edward . . . who cares about my shift," she cries out as she attacks my lips. We press our bodies hard against each other trying to get as close as possible.

After a few more minutes of dry humping and making out like a couple of high school kids, we finally pull away panting for air. When Bella's breathing slows she rests her head on my chest; I possessively wrap my arms around her body because she is all mine.

She snuggles even closer, "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"I'm not very hungry; I had a late lunch today." I respond as I squeeze her tighter to me. "So now that you're off at ten tomorrow night, let's make some plans," I whisper. "So, I know you want to take pictures of the fireworks so here is what I'm thinking." _My plans are coming together. Tomorrow is going to be perfect. _"I'm off at seven. I'll go home, shower and change then come back here and pick up your pretty new dress," I tease, ". . . and camera equipment. Just have everything you will need on your bed. I'll pick it up and meet you at the restaurant exactly at ten. I'd love to make reservations for a late dinner but I doubt I'll be able to get something at this late date. We could grab something after the fireworks."

"That sounds perfect. As long as I can kiss you at midnight and . . . get some pictures of the fireworks I'll be a happy camper." She pulls away from me to look me in the eyes. "Are you sure you're going to be okay staying up that late? I know you have to be at the hospital early on New Year's Day. I don't want you to be tired at work." Her brow creases with worry.

I smile at her concern but _if everything goes as planned, we'll both be more than a bit tired, we'll be exhausted._ "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine love. As long as I get to kiss _you_ at midnight, I'll be a happy camper too. We can come home right after midnight. If I get at least a couple hours of sleep, I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure and as much as I would love to continue this," I push my cock against her wet core and she moans in pleasure, "I think I really need to get as much sleep tonight to make up for tomorrow."

Bella hitches her legs over my hip trapping me in sweet agony. With a wicked gleam in her eye, she asks, "Are you sure I can't interest you in a quickie big boy." She wiggles her eyebrows as she grinds her hips to mine.

In lighting fast speed, I flip Bella onto her back, "You really shouldn't have said that."

My lips attack her as our arms rip away our clothes. Bella reaches into her nightstand drawer pulling out a shiny foil packet. I smirk in between kisses. "I just hope momma bear doesn't see my stash."

"Love, please do not talk about my mother while we're having sex. It sorta ruins the mood." I grunt through gritted teeth as I roll on the condom and center my tip at her warm wet heaven. "This is gonna be fast okay."

"As long as it hard," Bella teases.

"I'll show you hard." I grab her hips and begin to thrust in and out.

"Edward . . . please harder . . . huh, please . . . harder," she cries out.

I pull almost all the way out before giving her what her body craves, deep and hard thrusts. After one hard thrust, I quickly pull out turning Bella on all fours. She drops to her elbows and shakes her ass in my face. I spread her legs; grab her hips and pound into her from her backside with one quick thrust. With this new angle, we whimper at the pleasure. I'm hitting her deeper than ever before. She reaches down to rub her clit. I feel her walls begin to tighten but then she surprises me.

She flips me on my back, takes my cock in her hand positioning it at her entrance then slowly impales herself on me. She's angled so her hands lay flat on my sweaty chest as she begins to rotate back and forth. Her slow movements turn frantic. I sit up attacking her mouth before my mouth latches onto one of her breast. Her back arches as my balls tighten. There is a frenzy of movement before she orders me to come now. We become a tangle of sweaty arms and legs as our thrusts slow. She feels my erratic heartbeat as I feel hers. _Yes, fast and hard and quite satisfied._

I feel like a smug bastard this morning. Bella is so worn out from last night's activities that she doesn't budge as I ready for the hospital so I let her sleep. I leave a quick note on her nightstand reminding her that I will pick her up from work promptly at ten tonight. I place a soft kiss to her forehead before making my way downstairs. I follow the aroma of fresh strong coffee and the soulful sounds of Rick Astley's deep voice. Mom's up, nothing ever changes.

I'm greeting with a tumbler of coffee. "Morning, mom." I kiss my mom on her cheek because I have without a doubt the best mother in the world.

"And a good morning to you baby boy, your lunch is all packed and ready to go." She angles her head in direction of the counter as she plates some scrambled eggs for me.

"Mom you didn't have to get up early to make me breakfast."

"Oh sweetie, I have been a doctor's wife for over thirty years . . . OH MY GOODNESS." Mom's eyes are opened wide in shock. "I've been a doctor's wife for over thirty years," she shouts. "When did that happen? Wasn't it just yesterday that I held you in my arms and sang to you? Where has the time gone?" She questions more to herself than to me then shrugs her shoulders. "Oh well . . . anyway, I didn't get up early just for you baby boy. After thirty, my body automatically is up with the dawn whether I like it or not. Besides, if all goes well tonight, hopefully someone else will be getting up early to make you your breakfast from now on." A knowing smile crosses her face.

"Mom, don't get too ahead of yourself but you are right. If all goes as planned, it'll be a start." I wink at her as I finish my breakfast. "By the way, is everything set for tonight?"

Mom salutes me, "Aye Ay captain. Everything is set and ready to go. Text me if you need you have any last minute arrangement that need taken care of though, okay."

"Thanks mom but I think everything is set. I really appreciate everything you have done for me . . . for us. You're the best mom. I love you." I give her a thank you kiss on the cheek before leaving for my shift.

_**BPoV**_

Waking, I slowly stretch humming in satisfaction at the way my body remembers the way Edward took me last night. I can still feel his firm hands on my hips as he thrust into me from behind. I wouldn't doubt if I had some bruising by how hard he was holding me. He was so bold; I liked it too. A smug satisfied smile crosses my face until I get a whiff of some strong coffee calling my name. I stretch my body one more time before paddling my way to the bathroom.

"Good morning momma bear," I sing out. Without thinking, I plant a slight kiss on her cheek before making my way to the coffee pot. I stare at the cup realizing what I just did. _Was I being to forward with Esme? What made me do that? Is it the remnants of last night's euphoric feeling? What was I thinking? Oh my goodness, I hope she isn't offended._

"Good morning sweetie. You sure are up late today. I hope my baby boy didn't keep you up too late last night." Esme snickers as she wags her brow.

She's already starting with her little sexual innuendos but I'm not going to fall for her tricks so I ignore the comment. Unfortunately, I hear a throat clear and . . .

"From what I heard last night, it's quite clear, he most certainly did keep you up late last night," Carlisle confirms as he plants a whopper of a kiss on Esme's lips. "Morning dear."

Shock and embarrassment ripples through my entire being but I refuse to let these two wise guys get the better of me. "Et tu poppa bear?"

Carlisle winks at my from above his coffee mug.

Discreetly, I changed the subject of my sex life. "So, what are your plans for tonight?"

Esme snickers again. "Good save there slugger. I'll play. Well, I think we're just going to stay home tonight. We'll leave the celebrating to the young folk. Would do you say poppa bear?"

"Sounds like a plan momma bear. You, me and an empty house sounds real good." This time Carlisle winks at momma bear.

"Subtle poppa bear, real subtle," I groan at his innuendo as Esme giggles like a school girl.

"What's so funny in here," Alice questions as she drops her purse and keys on the kitchen counter.

"Oh, we were just telling Bella here how nice it will be to have the house _all_ to ourselves this evening," gloats Esme.

"Oh ignore them Bella. For as long as I can remember, they've been like this. If anything, I think they've gotten worse." Alice rolls her eyes as it's her turn to pour a cup of java.

The morning chit chat centers on our plans for New Year's Eve. I convey Edward's plans to meet me at work and then make our way to see the Space Needle fireworks spectacular. I say I should be home just after midnight since Edward has to be at work in the morning. Since it's going to be a fairly early night for all of us, I suggest we get up to watch the New Year's Day Rose Parade broadcasting from an always sunny southern California. We can cuddle in blankets and drink hot chocolate. Alice agrees that sounds like a plan. I notice Esme has a peculiar gleam in her eyes as we make morning plans.

Since Jasper has to be at the hospital the next day, Alice says she and Jasper are staying in for quiet celebration. Despite her plans to have her house _all_ to herself Esme invites Alice and Jasper over for a New Year's Eve dinner celebration. Alice sends Jasper a text inviting him to dinner knowing full well he never passes up an opportunity to have a home cooked meal by momma bear. Alice laughs as she displays his text, a yes in capital letters. Esme and Alice discuss the menu as I excuse myself to select an outfit for tonight.

I have a limited wardrobe and need to be strategic when putting my outfit together. Alice calls out 'knock knock' as she makes her way into my room plopping herself on the bed.

"Is that what you're going to wear tonight?"

"Yeah, do you think it's okay? I need to be comfortable and warm but . . . I also want to look nice. After all it's our first New Year's Eve together, you know." I wrinkle my nose.

"Oh Bella don't be ridiculous. You could be naked for all Edward cares. . ." Alice laughs out loud realizing what she has just said. "Oh fuck, you know what I mean. He won't care what you are wearing as long as you are together tonight."

I laugh agreeing with her. "I know what you mean Alice. I just want to look special."

We mix and match a few more outfits until we agree on the perfect outfit. We wish each other a Happy New Year before Alice leaves and I take a quick nap before work. I know we are going to be busy. Before leaving for work, I neatly place everything I will need tonight on my bed for Edward to pick up.

In the family room, Carlisle is reading a medical journal while Esme looks relaxed working on another one of her exquisite quilts. I notice the colors are similar to the hues I mentioned Billy would like for his room and I smile. I clear the lump building in my throat before I interrupt. I don't know why I feel so sentimental right now. Holidays have never been important in my family. Spending time with the Cullen's must be turning me into some kind of sentimental fool. Carlisle rises from his chair, wraps his arms around me and wishes me a Happy New Year. With a wink, he tells me to 'go get him' before returning to his journal.

Esme rises next and gives me the mother of all bear hugs. She whispers, "Happy New Year and have a wonder evening my sweet girl."

The words 'my sweet girl' brings back the lump in my throat and tears to my eyes. _Yup, I'm turning into a sentimental fool all right. _"Happy New Year to you too momma bear." I try to get it out before my voice and tears betray me but she hugs me tighter if that's even possible. "See you in the morning. Don't party too hard tonight. We've got a parade to watch tomorrow morning." I call out before leaving.

**TPoV**

"It's New Year's Eve Tanya. What are you still doing here at work? You should be home making yourself more beautiful . . . um . . . I mean getting ready to go out." Alistair jokes.

"I'm not going out tonight." I deadpan.

"You're not going out tonight!" A quizzical look crosses his face. "You have to go out tonight it's New Year's Eve woman."

"Well whether it's New Year's Eve or not I'm not going out so I might as well work."

Alistair is silent for a moment as he considers a thought. He claps his hands together. "All right then . . . how about this . . . you keep me company tonight? Since you don't have any plans tonight and this lonely Brit far from home," he gives me puppy dog eyes, ". . . doesn't have any plans, why don't we 'not have plans' together? That's a double negative, by the way, which means we should spend the evening together. How's that for fancy lawyer talk?" He confidently smirks.

I laugh at his convoluted invitation and even consider it for a brief moment.

**EsPoV**

As soon as I hear the door close, I drop my quilt and bolt to my room. There I gather everything on Edward's list. Alice walks in asking when we should start dinner but stops mid-question.

"What are you doing?" she demands. "I thought you were staying in tonight."

"I am staying in tonight. This is for Bella to wear tonight."

"Bella? Bella's outfit is on her bed. I helped her pick it out." Alice pauses for a moment to think. "Hey wait a minute. What's going on?"

I have no other choice but to let Alice in on Edward's plans. By the time I'm done, Alice is pitching in. She coos, "That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard. I didn't know my big brother had it in him."

"Oh he always had it in him. He was just saving it for the right girl."

Alice and I are in the kitchen finishing up our New Year's Eve dinner as Edward and Jasper come through the door. Jasper gives Alice a quick smooch on the lips before washing his hands and commencing to nibble at the food. Alice swats his hand away telling him to wait until the table is set. Jasper snatches one last nibble before sulking away.

**EPoV**

I have plenty of time to shower and change before meeting Bella at work but, knowing there will be traffic so I decide to leave a bit earlier. Like Jasper, I can't resist a little nibble of food as I wish everyone a 'Happy New Year.' Alice helps me carry out Bella's outfit instructing me to take care not to wrinkle the dress. I take inventory to ensure I have everything I need for tonight. I inform the driver we will leave in a few more minutes. _Yes, I hired a limousine. I need to spend every single minute with my girl and I didn't want to waste time driving._ I run back to the house to give mom one last thank you kiss for all she has done for me. I could never have done this alone and I know it.

Mom gives me a bear hug whispering, "Go get her."

With that, I'm off to set my New Year's Eve plans in motion. All my plans are falling into place. I even make it to Bella's work in plenty of time. Lauren meets me at the rear of the restaurant. I hand her Bella's clothes and shoes; she knows what to do next. I thank her again for all her help.

I ask the limo driver to take a picture of Bella, as inconspicuously as possible, the moment she she sees me.

_**BPoV**_

"Oh Bella, I ran into Edward near the entrance. He asked me to put your clothes in the staff lounge. They're in a black garment bag. He said he'll be waiting for you outside when you're ready. You're so lucky Bella, that man is dreamy man." Lauren giggles.

"Thanks Lauren. I've been so busy I didn't even see him come in. And by the way, hands off my dreamy man." I playfully warn . . . not.

I clock out near ten and dash to the lounge grabbing the garment bag before heading to the staff's restroom. Using the sink's basin as a makeshift tub, I quickly wash, reapply my makeup and fix my hair. Once I've washed off the smell of the restaurant, I quickly unzip the bag . . . wait a minute . . . what the hell is going on? These aren't my clothes and shoes. I wildly search the bag for my outfit when a small note falls from the bag. Picking up the note, I read, _"I hope you don't mind but there has been a change of plans. This outfit appears to be more suitable for what I have planned. Hurry, I'm waiting outside for you. Edward."_

Well it's either my work uniform or this, so I change into the dress and shoes encased in the garment bag. I glance at my reflection in the mirror. I don't know who this woman is or how she got here. All I know is that the man waiting outside for me is making it extremely hard to ever want to leave again.

As I walk through the lively restaurant, I search for Lauren to wish her a good night. However, the closer I get to the entrance door the quieter the restaurant becomes. My eyes roam the room noticing most of the customers are now staring and pointing fingers in my direction. I hear the sounds of _oh_ and _aw_ from some of the female customers along with some whistles and cat calls from the male customers. I blush at the unwanted attention. I finally spy Lauren who is wearing a shit eating grin as we wave goodbye to each other. She winks before heading back to her table and I shake my head.

Walking outside, I look pass a man dressed in a tuxedo standing in front of a limousine. I search for Edward's car. He said he would be waiting for me. With all the traffic, maybe he couldn't find parking. I feel the tuxedo man's eyes on me as I continue to search for Edward refusing to look in his direction. Irritated at his blatant staring, I use my peripheral vision to glance at tuxedo man who is now grinning directly at me. Instantly, I return the grin as I look directly into the eyes of the gorgeous man in the tuxedo, as I look directly into the eyes of my Edward.

**A/N: Part 2 of this chapter should be up fairly soon. If you like what you read, please leave a review. Reviews give me the confidence to write the next chapter faster.**

**Portrait of My Love sung by Rick Astley and written by Norman Newell Cyril Ornadel**


	28. Chapter 28 Portrait of My Love part 2

**A/N: Happy dance to LoveeDuckiee, Leibeezer, stupidlamb2010, shea1223, and kriebeltje for your reviews. Welcome to new favorites and followers EmmaJarrett, IsAbEILa5223, Keem2129, Mrs. , Savory, XKristinrenee, deecie72, dark-tigers, myhubbyissoedward and twiharts159. You guys make me happy! Chapter 27 had over 2.3k visits and views but sadly only 5 reviews. A few more reviews would make me so happy ; ) Yes, I'm begging cuz I'd love to know what you think about the story.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all except Sheldon and Penny and the designer Monique L Huillier. I don't own them either. **

**Chapter 28 "Portrait of My Love" part 2**

**EPoV**

Waiting for Bella, the cold Seattle air fills my lungs as I pace the length of the limousine. I'm so nervous hoping my plans for tonight don't fall apart. I hope she isn't too angry with me when she sees what's really in the garment bag. My thoughts wander back to my conversation with mom about the style and color of dress I envisioned for Bella. Admittedly, I know nothing about fashion and I hope mom was able to find the style and color of dress I described given the time restraints and my lack of knowledge about the latest fashions.

When considering the dress I thought about the first time we met, I remember the purple of Bella's hair and how the color made me smile, how my angel's glowing face made me smile despite her outburst, I smile remembering her outburst but I digress. I instruct mom that the dress needs to be purple and flow like an angel.

"_Edward! Purple? Really you want a purple dress? What is the matter with you son? You're so lucky you're not here right now 'cause I would smack the back of your head if I could. Purple ugh but I do like the flow like an angel idea." Mom scolds._

"_Not purple purple." I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "I don't know, I mean a very pale light purple. Almost like the color of her skin, not that her skin looks purple. . ."_

"_Son you're rambling."_

"_. . . umm a very pale purple like the color of her hair." I fumble through my description. "I don't know what it's called."_

"_Oh, you want a pale mauve . . . oh yes, that would look exquisite against her skin," mom corrects. "Very good son."_

"_I'd like the dress to hug her curves but flow as she walks . . .classic and elegant . . . maybe a one shoulder thing . . . "_

_As I continue to describe the dress, mom interrupts me indicating she knows exactly what I want. "You want something like a Monique L Huillier and . . ." _

"_Who?" I interrupt._

"_Never mind you clueless man, leave it all to me. I know exactly what you want. Oh this is going to be so much fun. I haven't shopped for a formal since Alice's senior prom. I'm so glad my babies are home. I've really missed doing mom stuff but . . . I would much rather be doing grandma stuff if you catch my drift." _

All thoughts of color and dresses and grandma stuff evaporate into a puff of smoke as the entrance door opens. There she is. My angel is a vision, my dream come to life. She takes my breath away; time stops for me. I will never forget how she looks at this very moment. She is _my_ perfection, my other half.

The one shoulder sheer pale mauve dress hugs her curves as the fabric wraps her body. Just pass her knees the layers of delicate fabric flows. The simple but elegant dress molds against Bella's incandescent skin, perfection.

While I stare in awe at my seraph's beauty, I smirk as her eyes avoid me. She is obviously looking for _me and my_ car as she ignores the man in front of the shiny black limo, me. I continue to stare into her eyes as she refuses to look in my direction. A smug sort of satisfaction sores through me by her refusal to look at a gawking stranger despite the fact that I am the stranger. She only has eyes for me and I thank the heavens. I smile as I notice her irritation at my blatant staring. Using her peripheral vision, she finally takes an irritated glance in my direction as I a wide lopsided grin cross my face. Instantly, a smile crosses her face as I look directly into the sparkling eyes of my angel. She simply shakes her head side to side as her smile grows.

Wordless, we walk into each other's embrace.

"You look simply beautiful my Bella." I whisper as she shivers at my words.

"You don't look to bad yourself there Dr. Cullen. I didn't recognize you looking all snazzy." She touches the jacket of my tuxedo. "This is a pretty nice change from your scrubs. You should wear a tuxedo every day."

We laugh out loud as she shivers in my arms again.

"Oh I'm sorry you must be freezing out here. Come on get in."

I open the passenger door and she quickly slides in. I slide in next to her immediately wrapping her in my arms. I rub my hands up and down her arms until she warms.

The driver hands me my cell phone before he starts the car. This guy is getting a big tip. The picture of Bella as she exits the restaurant is perfection. I show her the picture and she blushes.

"When did you have time to plan all of this?" The expression on her face tells me she knows the answer before I respond. "Don't tell, momma bear, right."

I simply nod.

"She must be climbing the wall right about now wondering how it's going. Come on. Let's put her out of her misery. We're going to take one selfie . . ." Bella holds up on finger to emphasize the point, ". . . and then the rest of this night is just for us okay."

I position Bella so our cheeks are touching, hold up my cell phone, say 'Happy New Year' and snap the picture. We examine the picture before I send the picture of Bella and our selfie to mom _and_ Alice. That should keep them happy for a while but almost as quickly as I send the pictures I get a text from mom.

_Did she like the dress? I'm dying to know! - m_

"Mom wants to know if you like the dress." I playfully ask running my fingers down her arm.

"Tell her she did good, it's absolutely stunning."

Bella is silent as I send mom one final text for the night.

_The dress is stunning, thank you for all your help, Happy New Year OVER AND OUT- E_

Bella hasn't move away from me. "This is such an amazing surprise Edward . . ." She plays with our now tangled fingers. ". . . no one has ever done something like this for me . . . ever" She brings my hand to her lips placing a soft kiss on each hand. ". . . but what about work. I don't want you to be dead on your feet tomorrow."

"Don't worry about anything. Trust me, I'll be fine." I go into detail about how I planned tonight with mom's assistance, well most of my plans. I hold out on some of the festivities for later tonight; I don't want to ruin all my plans. She snorts when I tell her about mom's meeting with Lauren but I leave out the small detail of the bribe, I mean sizeable tip.

Our drive is a short one. The limo stops as the driver goes to the trunk of the car. He takes out Bella's camera equipment, a small tote bag and a matching hooded cape. He opens the door. I hang the warm mauve cape over Bella's shoulders and take the camera and tote bag from the driver. I instruct the driver to meet us back here in two hours just half past midnight. I discreetly pass him a tip and tell him to get something to eat. He grins in agreement.

I take Bella's hand in mine as we maneuver through the crowd of boisterous celebrating tourist and locals. Between the blare of the loud music, the resounding noise of chatter and laughter, and those incessant clackers and noisemakers it's difficult to hear. I shout in Bella's ear, "Let me know when you find the right spot to take your pictures."

She pauses, her eyes roam in the direction of the Space Needle then she scans the crowd. She points in the direction of a slightly less crowded spot. I nod and lead the way. "Is this okay?"

She looks around and loudly answers back, "Yes, it's fine."

I hand her the camera and she immediately begins to adjust the lens. She quickly snaps a couple of pictures of me before I have time to object.

While Bella snaps pictures of the event, I take out a bottle of chilled Veuve Clicquot champagne from the tote bag. Strategically, I pop open the bottle careful not to hit anyone with the cork. I remove two crystal flutes champagne glasses from the tote and pour the velvet bubbles. I return the bottle to the bag as Bella stops taking pictures.

"You're not going to believe this but I have never had champagne," she shouts over the noise.

I trade her camera for a flute, hanging it over my shoulder. Her eyes sparkle as they fix to mine. I tilt my glass; she tilts her glass. I grin; she grins as the faint sound of the glasses click together. With the click of the glass, everything and everyone else fades away. We are in our own little bubble, just me and my angel.

I whisper with all the love in my heart, "Happy New Year _my_ Bella."

A single happy tear falls from her sparkling eyes, "Happy New Year _my_ Edward."

I wipe the tear away, place my finger to my lips and kiss the tear away. Watching my lips, Bella inhales.

"Edward," another tear escapes, ". . . you simply take my breath away."

I wink at her, "Silly woman, it's you that takes my breath away."

I sip my champagne as Bella tastes her first glass of champagne. Her nose crinkles as the bubbles pop. I caution her to take small sips as the velvety goodness can make her lightheaded and dizzy. She takes another sip.

"Thank you Edward. I'm not big on surprises but this . . . this is the most amazing romantic surprise . . . no one has ever, I mean ever done anything like this for me . . . ever. I will remember this for the rest of my life." She pauses for a moment. "I'm so happy you shocked me that day at the bookstore. Being shocked by you was the best day of my life." A wide happy grin spreads across her angelic face.

And with that silly grin, our bubble bursts. The sounds of New Year's Eve merriment invade our bubble with full force. "I shocked you!" I laugh out loud tilting my head back. "I beg to argue Penny but I believe it was _you_ who shocked _me_ with _that_ crazy cosmic electric shock thing you got going on and _your_ crazy purple hair." I snort back. "By the way, your hair looks beautiful."

Bella giggles then blushes. She fucking blushes a blush that matches the color of her dress and she looks simply stunning.

"You noticed I got my hair done?" she asks shocked at my compliment.

"Of course I noticed. I notice everything about you." I lift her chin with my finger placing a light kiss to the tip of her nose. Her eyes flutter at my closeness.

"You are one romantic man Dr. Sheldon Cooper." She snuggles up against my chest as I wrap an arm around her. She shivers.

"Are you warm enough?"

"I'm perfect. You're all I need to keep me hot," she giggles into my chest.

"You are a wicked tease woman." I lift her chin and, this time, I kiss her lips. When the kiss ends, she moves so her back is against my chest.

Through the night, we sip on our champagne, watch the people celebrate, and whisper words of love as we wait to ring in the New Year. Bella waves her empty glass in the air requesting a refill; I oblige. Her cheeks slightly redden with the alcohol. Our bodies begin to sway to the pounding music. Bella rubs her sweet ass against my hardening cock. The champagne is making her bold. _Midnight can't get here soon enough. _I place the empty glasses back in the tote bag.

Without warning, I swing Bella around. For a brief moment, breathlessly we stare into each's eyes before I attack her lips. Instinctively, her fingers weave into my hair; she pulls at the roots in wanton need. _She knows how much I love when she does that. _One of my hands travels down to the low of her back pulling her closer to where we both need to be. Sweet moans escape our lips. And, our bubble returns. We make out like two love sick teenagers. _No, we passionately kiss like two people madly in love because that is what we are._

A few things happen simultaneously that burst our bubble again. Someone knocks into me causing me, then Bella, to lose our balance and end our kiss. My foot knocks over the tote bag as the remaining champagne spills onto the street and the delicate glasses crash. Someone grabs onto to me in an effort not to fall.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry someone pushed . . ." the voice begins to apologize but then suddenly stops.

"No, no it's fine." I reassure the voice as Bella and I find our balance. I look to Bella to help her get her balance but follow her surprised eyes to the woman behind me, Tanya. Tanya's eyes are locked with Bella's eyes. I look behind Tanya to the man glaring at me.

Trying to deflect an uncomfortable situation, I take the high road and greet my friend Tanya. "Tanya, what a surprise to see you," I say as I wrap my arm around Bella's waist pulling her close to me. Tanya's eyes briefly focus on my hand at Bella's waist before looking to me.

Nervously, she stumbles at her words, "Edward . . . um . . . yes, yes it is a surprise to see you . . . and um . . . Bella right?" Tanya looks between Bella and me as the glaring territorial man walks closely behind Tanya.

"Yes. It's nice to see you again Tanya." Bella greets.

The glaring man clears his throat. Tanya turns in his direction. "Sorry, sorry this is my colleague Alistair McBain . . . Alistair this is Edward Cullen and Bella."

I extend my hand and, reluctantly, Alistair returns a weak shake removing his hand quickly. Bella extends her hand with a 'nice to meet you.' We stand looking at the crowd avoiding the awkward silence.

Bella clears her throat. "So Mr. McBain what part of England are you from?"

_Good work, nice neutral questions._

He laughs before answering, "Thank you Bella. As soon an American hears my British accent, the first they say is 'hey are you from England?'" We all laugh. "I'm originally from a small village just outside of London but temporarily living here in Seattle on business."

Sounding very much the lawyer, Tanya adds, "Alistair is assisting with that international case I told you about Edward."

"Ah, yes, I remember."

"He is an enormous asset to our firm and to me. I depend on his expertise on this case."

"Tanya was kind enough to accompany this homesick Brit to see the Space Needle Fireworks since I'm not able to be home for the London Eye fireworks display." He smiles at Tanya who has a sullen smile on her face and his smile falters. "I am sorry about almost knocking you down. Someone pushed by us . . . the domino effect I guess," laughs Tanya.

Both Bella and I talk at once, "It's fine it is getting rather crowded." _"That's okay, it was an accident."_

The awkward silence is back.

This time Alistair clears his throat. "Well, it was nice running into you folks but we were just passing through. We're looking for a prime viewing spot for the fireworks. I want to see if it compares with the London show." He looks to Tanya for confirmation and she shakes her head in agreement. "Have a good evening. Happy New Year."

"Yes, have a Happy New Year Edward," she pauses looking to Bella, "you to Bella. Please wish your family happy new year for me too."

"Thank you Tanya I will, the same to you and your family. Say hello to Kate and Irina and Garrett. I never see him anymore with our busy schedules even though we work at the same hospital." I attempt to lighten the uncomfortable conversation.

With awkward goodbyes, Alistair leads Tanya away but not before Tanya takes one final glance at Bella and then to me. Bella was silent as she looked up to the sky. I stood behind her encasing her in my arms. Placing my lips to her ear, I whisper, "I love you my angel." At my words, her body slumps against my chest.

"I love you Edward, so much."

We've said these words before but the emotions behind the words are too strong to deny the truth of the love we feel for each other. I hug Bella a bit tighter to my chest as she returns my hold.

"Well, there's a little bit of the champagne left if you don't mind drinking straight from the bottle," I tease.

I feel Bella's giggle vibrate against my chest. "No thanks I'm fine but help yourself."

I pick up the tote bag and toss the half-filled bottle and broken glasses in a nearby disposable bin. The Tanya incident is tossed away too. "Do you want to take more pictures or are you going to wait until the fireworks start?"

"I want to take pictures at midnight if you don't mind." Bella asks shyly.

"We're here so you can take pictures for your journal so . . . as long as I can have a kiss at midnight I'm happy." I hand Bella her camera.

"Well Sheldon, isn't the point of having a date on New Year's Eve is to kiss at midnight." Bella teases as she readjusted the lens settings and begins to snap pictures again.

The countdown begins and just as the crowd counts . . . 3. . . 2 . . . 1 . . . we're return to our bubble. I hear nothing but words of love, the beating of our hearts and the exchange of souls.

In need of oxygen, we pull away the sounds of the celebration return. I hand her the camera as she takes random pictures of people exchanging well wishes, the fireworks and goodbye to the old and hello to the new. . . whatever it may bring. Inconspicuously, I take a few pictures of Bella in action, she's so adorable as she bites her tongue as she concentrates. _So sexy._

Bella reviews some of shots satisfied with her collection. "All done. Let's get going so you can get a few hours of sleep."

I smirk as I take her camera and lead her out of the still celebrating crowd. We finally make it through the crowd enjoying the pandemonium.

Our driver opens the door as he sees us approaching. "Home please," I instruct the driver as he closes the door. Once inside the limo, I ask the driver to raise the partition. Before the partition is completely closed, Bella attacks me and I willingly let her.

"I love you so much Edward Cullen. I will never forget this night . . . ever. It was perfect, magical." she declares through her kisses to my lip, across my jawline and down my neck. She pauses at my rapidly beating pleasure point and begins to slowly lick and . . . suck.

"It was perfect." I stutter.

She giggles, "Is something bothering you Sheldon."

"I'll show you _bothering_ Penny." I position her so my throbbing rock hard cock rubs against her clit. Our hips grind together as it is my turn to attack her neck. I greedily suck at _her _pleasure point as she begs me not to stop. I am marking what is mine and she begs me to not stop. We kiss the entire ride.

Eventually, the limo stops and we need to stop. Our hearts are racing as we attempt to slow our breathing. Bella sits up adjusting her hair and dress. I run my hands through my unmanageable hair and adjust my tuxedo jacket to cover my obvious arousal.

"That was fast. I thought the ride home would be a little bit longer. I was rather enjoying . . ."

Bella pauses as the passenger's door opens. She peeks out the door but turns toward me with a confused expression on her face. "Where are we? I think he got the address wrong Edward," she whispers loudly.

I lean across her lap looking outside. "No this is the right address." I smirk.

The driver places his hand out to help a confused Bella out as I exit the other door grabbing her camera. Fixing her cape and dress, Bella surveys her surroundings. I thank the driver for all his help and slip him another rather large tip. He thanks me, closes the doors, and slowly drives away leaving Bella and me near the entrance of a small dock on Lake Union. I take her hand in mine silently leading her down the dock to a boat illuminated with crystal twinkling lights.

As we near the plank, I turn to help Bella across. What I find stops me in my tracks. Soft silent tears trace down Bella's cheeks. The tears sparkle with the reflection of the boat's lights.

"Bella, what's wrong sweetheart?"

In a silent whisper that matches her tears, she utters, "I will never love anyone as much as I love you at this very moment. You are an amazing man Edward Cullen."

I kiss her softly before leading her onto the boat. In the cabin, the soothing music from my IPod floats through the room. I smirk as one of Rick Astley's ballads plays. Bella smirks and, ever so slightly, rolls her eyes. I return her smirk shrugging my shoulders. A small table is set with two glasses and another bottle of chilled Veuve Clicquot along with assorted appetizers. I pop the cork and pour the champagne. Bella is silent still looking at me in awe. We sip the champagne and nibble on the fruit. We stand connected her back against my chest as we look out at the cabin window. Through our reflection in the window, I see Bella's eyes searching between the sky and the lights glimmering on the lake but I don't see anything but her angelic face in the reflection.

As I lower the glass from my lips, Bella takes the glass, places it on the table and takes my hand. Just at the moment, _When I Fall in Love _begins to play. She places her head against my chest; I wrap one arm around her back and the other holds her hand in mine. We sway to the soulful voice of Mr. Astley. I let the song say everything I am feeling.

When the song ends she leads me to the bed. I sit as she removes my jacket, unties my bow and unbuttons my shirt as I toe off my shoes.

As stunning as she is in the mauve dress, I need to feel her skin against mine. I wrap my arms around her waist slowly pulling the zipper. She slips off the sheer cloth that drapes her shoulder allowing the dress to pool at her feet. She reaches back unclasping her strapless bra. I gasp at her beauty as we fall onto the bed.

Tonight is our new beginning. Tonight is different. Tonight we treasure every kiss, every touch, and every embrace. Tonight we make love. We begin wordlessly kissing as moans of pleasure fill the room, the sounds of sleek skin rubbing against skin, of wanton groans, of hard agonizing thrusts, of tongues dancing, of licking and sucking, of pleads for more and finally of words of love.

We finally fall asleep tangled in each other's arms as the first light of dawn breaks through the clouds.

**A/N: I know this is quite the kind of lemon some of you may have been expecting but I wanted to make this more about love than sex. I hope you don't mind. A review would be mighty nice if you enjoyed this chapter, wink wink.**


	29. Chapter 29 This Must Be Heaven

**A/N: First, I am so very sorry for the delay in posting but real life can be a big bad BIOTCH sometimes. Please forgive me I'll try to do better next chapter. Thanks for the sweet reviews sujari6, esmie, queencullen 0527, msarkie, dazzleglo, blk366o, acw1, loveeDuckiee, Leibeezer, and shea1223. Welcome new followers and favorites BethandMolson, GethrenNZ, MichelleJK,** **MUW D'Bellegirl, HipHopB2ST46, KatherineGenavive,** **XKristinrenee, bendigo,** **betwl,** **boo1414, checkers1, d2woodworth, creativebella, cullenmeadow,** **SillyBeautifulOversensitiveGrl,** **jaantjj, kaserian33, bellaaliceswan4510, You make me happy : ) Forgive me if I skipped you. Some lemony goodness for the New Year! P.S. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all except Sheldon and Penny. Sadly, I don't own them either. **_**This Must Be Heaven**_** is sung by Rick Astley and written by Eugene Johnson, David Myles, Charles Overton and Robert Ross. **

**Chapter 29 "This Must Be Heaven"**

_**BPoV**_

The aroma of coffee and food invades my sleep. My stomach grumbles at the savory scents but I refuse to wake, I snuggle deeper into my pillow tugging my blankets up to my chin attempting to return to dreamland. I refuse to let the enchantment of last night end. In my dreams, Edward and I float among the clouds. He twirls me as my gown catches the reflection of the glittering stars and we laugh. For once in my life, I am blissfully and simply happy. I'm afraid that if I open my eyes, last night's magical fairytale dream will be just that, a fairytale dream_. I've never been a fairytale dream kinda a gal but I have to admit I'm kinda of loving it. _

The aroma of the food continues to tease me as my stomach demands to be fed, I groan in defeat. My body is telling me it's time to wake up. In search of Edward, my right hand reaches back only to be met with cold empty sheets. I groan again as my eyes squint open. Through the narrow slits of my eyelids, I spy my angelic mauve dress worn on the most euphoric night of my life; the dress sprayed across a chair. My shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor near the dress. I wiggle my toes enjoying the freedom of the heels. _Why someone can't design haute couture chucks I'll never understand. _A euphoric smile crosses my face as I close my eyes and hum in satisfaction.

"No use fighting it, you might as well get up," laughs Edward from across the room.

"I don't want to and you can't make me," I groan ". . . but . . . it sure would be nice to be served some of that delicious smelling coffee and food right here," I tap the bed lightly, ". . . by a hot young doctor this fine New Year's Day," I tease.

Edward takes several long strides before crawling up my sated body. He whispers in my ear, "Your wish is my command," before flipping me onto my back and attacking my mouth, ". . . but later."

I struggle to break free as I protest morning breathe.

My protests to be released are countered by his firm arms and playful laughter that fills the room. "I love your morning breath," he proclaims as his tongue dances with mine. 

"You're a weirdo if you like morning breath," I utter through his kisses and laughter.

Edward's kisses become more needy frantic. I have no alternative but to surrender my body to his. _Who am I kidding? He can have me anytime he wants morning breath and all. _ All thoughts of morning breathe gone. He pushes the blankets away; I feel his harden cock against my thigh as he centers himself. Suddenly, my entrance quivers in anticipation readied with my sweet warm juices. His needy lips bite down on one of my nipples, I hum in satisfaction. With his fingers he squeezes and pulls the other to attention. My breath hitches, my heart races against my chest. He suckles my breast, the tip of his tongue plays with my aroused nipple. I wrap my legs around his waist digging my heels against his nice firm ass. He plants frantic delicious kisses across my jawline as my hand aligns his rock hard cock at my entrance. He hisses in pleasure as I run my thumb along the slit of his tip.

His mouth trails wet kisses to my other breast, he moans, "are we in a hurry my love?"

"Edward . . . _uh_ . . . you started this . . . _mmm_ . . . now finish it . . . _ohhh_ . . . for fuck sake . . ." I pound the bed with my fist, " . . . before I . . . _ahhhh_." Before I can utter one more word, he thrusts into me filling and stretching my walls.

"Your wish is my command." He groans through gritted teeth as he begins to pound into me.

His thrusts are hurried and hard. I beg for more, harder and deeper. _Yes, please deeper._ He hangs my legs over his shoulders pounding deeper into me. My legs quiver and weaken at his thrusts. He's hitting that spot deep inside me, I love it. _I love him._ Without losing his rhythm, he lowers my legs flipping me over. I grab the headboard as he clutches at my hips. He takes me from behind, my juices dribble down my legs.

"Baby, I'm close. Cum with me," he grunts.

I rub my swollen nub, my stomach muscles coil, my weakened legs quiver as white stars explode behind my closed eyelids. Breathless, I fall to the bed as Edward's sated body covers mine. I feel his racing heart beat against my back. We are sleek slippery with sweat. He pulls out of me and rolls onto his back.

Trying to catch his breath, he snorts, "You hungry?"

I place my ear against his slowing heart, "I'm always hungry for you cowboy."

He wraps his sleek sweaty arms around my equally sleek sticky body. We wait for our heart rates to slow to a normal beat.

"Happy New Year baby."

"Happy New Year my love. I think we should start off every New Year just like that . . . it will be _our_ New Year tradition," he smirks. "Come on, let's go take a quick shower then I'll serve you breakfast in bed." His satisfied smirk remains on his face as he leads me to the bathroom.

I slap his hands away a couple of times as we wash away our sleek sweat. I know if I let his hands on me we'll never leave the shower. _I need to be strong. _Leaving a frustrated Edward in the shower, I grab a couple of towels wrapping one around my wet hair the other around my body. I stop to scan the suite for something to wear. I sense Edward standing behind me. His arm extends out and hanging from one of his long fingers, _yum his long fingers_, is _our_ Dartmouth hoodie and a pair of my royal blue boy shorts. Turning back to Edward, I'm greeted with a sentimental twinkle in his eyes. With eyes locked, I reach for the hoodie and shorts, drop the towel, and dress. His twinkling eyes turn to lust as I slip on our hoodie.

"Thanks Sheldon," I call out as I settle on the bed removing the towel to comb out my hair.

Edward plates the cooling food and pours two cups of coffee, "You're welcome Penny."

I take the coffee cups as he places the plates on the bed. We settle close together connected by our touching toes. Silently, we feed our hungry stomachs. As I eat, I think of how incredibly fortunate I am to have met Edward and his family.

"Tell me what you're thinking my love."

Without hesitation, I confess my inner most thoughts and emotions to him. "I'm thinking how much I love you . . . and how easy it is to love you . . . how natural it feels to me . . . to love you and . . . _and_ your crazy family. I never thought about falling in love before." I put my coffee down and snuggle deep into Edward's side wrapping my arm around his waist. He returns the gesture as I contently sigh into his chest. "I'm so glad we shocked each other that day in the bookstore. Your cosmic electric shock . . . that shock brought me to life . . . changed my life. Maybe I should call you Dr. Frankenstein instead." I nervously giggle shaking my head into his chest, "Never mind, I'm being too melodramatic." This is all too new for me, these uncharted emotions, the intimacy . . . the love. I attempt to downplay the depths of the love I feel for this man.

**EPoV**

I place two fingers under Bella's chin lifting her angelic face to mine, our eyes lock. "Don't do that," I whisper. "Don't ever be embarrassed that you love me. I'm not. I'm not embarrassed that I love you. This love . . . this connection between us . . . this thing is new to me too." I place a gentle kiss to her lips. "All my life I've had this plan," I snort at my words, "I planned to be a doctor, I planned to get married, I planned to have a family but . . . but I don't think . . . no, I know I really didn't think about _who_ I would marry . . . until now. Marriage and family was just part of my plan fill in the blank kinda thing." I take a deep breath as I continue to declare the depths of my love for this woman in my arms. "I don't know how to explain it. I've always planned on sharing my life with someone, to have what my parents have . . . but I don't think I ever saw the woman who would share my life until I met you. I know what I'm saying sounds so convoluted but I can't explain it. Maybe that's why I never had a relationship with any other woman . . . I was simply waiting for you." I place another kiss to her lips.

"Your words, your declaration of love . . . your simple honesty takes my breath away." Bella hesitates for a moment. "We're a lot a like you and I. I was always too busy taking care of my ditzy mother and overworked father and doing what my father thought was right for my life . . . I forgot to live _my_ life. You were always so careful to follow your plans that you forgot to live your life . . . see just like me."

I snort, "We certainly are two sorry souls aren't we?"

Bella nods in agreement, "Yup, I think we are two sorry saps but . . . but I think now that we have seen the error of our way we can fix it. So," she pauses for a moment, ". . . so this is what we're going to do. You're going to forget about your plans and just live your life . . . throw caution to the wind . . . que sera sera."

I laugh at her silliness, "I didn't know you were bilingual."

"I'm a woman of many talents mister." She suggestively hints.

I'm silent for a moment before speaking fearful of her answer, "Are you still going to see the Northern Lights?" _I never want her to leave me; I don't think I could live without her._ My heart races waiting for her response.

She straddles me, cups my face in her hands, her eyes lock with mine, "Yes."

A disappointed breathe escape, my eyes break her hold on me.

She forces me to look at her but, like the petulant child that I am, refuses to meet her eyes. I am afraid of what she is about to tell me.

"Look at me," she commands as I try to pull my face away, "Edward, look at me."

Unable to deny my love anything, I gaze into her imploring eyes.

"Yes, I'm going on my trip but I promise . . . I promise you with all my heart and all my soul that this is going to be my last trip." She closes her eyes as tears slide down her cheeks. "I think . . . no, I know I haven't been searching for something . . . I've been running away . . . running away . . . away from me and my life." She lets out a stuttered breathe. ". . . but I'm not running anymore. I promise."

Bella seals her promise with a searing reassuring kiss. I trust her words and kisses that she will return to me. I surrender to her words until she suddenly breaks our cosmic connection. "Oh my gosh, okay, don't get angry . . . I know I just promised that the Northern Lights trip would be my last but I forgot . . . you just dazzle me so that all rational thought flies out the window," she nervously giggles, ". . . I forgot that I'm also going to visit my dad for a few weeks . . . did you forget because I sure did."

Again, I release an uneasy breath and snort. "Yeah, I did forget about that . . . but then that's it right?"

An exuberant grin spreads across her face, "Yes, I promise that's it and then I'll never leave you or home again."

"_Home_, I like the sound of that." I whisper into her hair holding on to her just a bit tighter. I smile as she returns my hug and kisses my neck. I pull her face to mine. Our kisses are passionate and slow.

She breaks the kiss first, readjusts herself so she is sitting on my lap and places her ear to my heart. "I love the way our kisses make your heart race so fast." She places her ear to my heart again. "Thank you for last night and this morning."

"You're welcome but I must confess momma bear did help with most of the arrangements."

"I figured as much. Is this your boat? This is a boat right?"

"Yes, it's a boat sort of and no, it's not mine. It belongs to my uncle. He was kind enough to let me borrow it for a few days while he was out of town. We have it for the entire day. Now, you have two options, we can make slow passionate love again or we can watch a rerun of the Rose Parade, your choice."

Bella taps her index finger to her chin carefully considering her options. "Hummmm . . . this is a tough choice to make. Truth be told, I've never miss the Rose Parade. When I was a little girl I would get up early and watch it with my grandma. We would sip on hot cocoa while we watched the floats. When I went to live with my dad . . . well, he always worked holidays so I would get up, have a bowl of cereal, plop down on the couch wrapped in a comfy blanket and watch the parade on television. I can't break the one holiday traditions I have . . . so I vote . . . Rose Parade."

What? What did she just say? Stunned, I am absolutely stunned. _I cannot fathom that she would rather watch the freaking Rose Parade than make love to me. She would rather watch people sitting on a bunch of flowers waving to a crowd of strangers than make love to me. I can't believe her. I am absolutely shocked._

"Oh My Gosh! I wish I had my camera right now. That look on your face is classic . . . absolutely classic." Bella's words morph into laughter, loud boisterous laughter. Her outburst becomes louder as she appears to be experiencing some sort of seizure, her arms and legs flail. She wildly wipes her tears away between her hysterics.

Wordless, I get up to turn on the television to watch the stupid freaking Rose Parade and she laughs even harder, her body quivers. Still silent, I settle back on the bed. I fluff a few of the pillows placing them against my lower back. I might as well get comfortable _if_ we're going to watch the fucking Rose Parade. Why did I give her a choice? This is all my mother's fault for raising such a gentleman. I shouldn't have given her a choice. I should have ravaged her like I planned.

Bella's chuckles slow as she attempts to catch her breath. She nearly hyperventilates from her outburst. Wiping the remnants of her tears from the corners of her eyes, she looks at me again but a few more giggles escape. _I'm glad I amuse her. _

She takes a few deep cleansing breaths as she crawls toward me. Her laughter subsides as her golden honeyed eyes suddenly darken. Like a deadly snake ready to attack she slithers along the side of my outstretched legs; the closer she gets the faster my heart begins to beat. I am frozen by her transformation. Her damp hair glides along my thighs as her mouth settles above my umbilicus. Her molten lust filled eyes enmesh mine; she licks her lips then attacks with her hot wet tongue that encircles the outline of my navel. My breath hitches as she blows cool air to the trail she is leaving up my chest. I am mesmerized, trapped. She licks her lips again and breaks our gaze before she bites down on my hardened nipple. I feel her grin as a guttural cry escapes my lips. My heart pounds against my chest as I reach for her face. Her darkened lust filled eyes transform into something more, a wicked playful gleam.

"So um. . . so um no Rose Parade," I whimper.

"No," her husky voice vibrates on my lips, "No Rose Parade. Now shut up and kiss me."

I surrender to her attacking her mouth, our tongues battling, our limbs ripping away clothes, plunging her sleek wet heaven and hearts beating in unison.

The first time is hard and fast and desperate.

The second time we are purposeful telling our bodies revering every inch reaffirming our promises and our love. Blissfully exhausted, we sleep in our cocoon tightly bound by arms and legs and hearts that beat as one.

A few hours later I feel Bella nuzzle deeper into my neck; I breathe her in almost fearful of letting her scent escape. I pattern soft gently circles on her back hoping to wake her from her slumber. I'm so happy she picked option two instead of watching the Rose Parade and, as much as I would give anything to stay exactly like this for the rest of my life, we need to get up soon. The limo will be here soon and I need to be at the hospital early tomorrow morning. I continue to rub her back whispering her name. "Bella . . . love . . . you have to wake up sweetheart. We have to get going soon."

Bella inhales deeply as her body detaches from mine contently stretching her arms and legs. "No, I don't want to go," she pouts. "Why can't we stay here forever?"

"My thoughts exactly sweetheart but unfortunately I need to be at the hospital early tomorrow morning."

Bella's stomach loudly rumbles between stretches.

"And, apparently someone is rather hungry."

"I can't help it. You wore me out earlier . . . you were insatiable . . . deliciously insatiable," she purrs ". . . but I am hungry," she winks at me ". . . for food . . . I need to sustenance," she declares through another long stretch. "Mmmm and I'm deliciously sore big boy," she adds before crawling off the bed.

I smile quite satisfied with my performance.

I pin Bella against the tiles of the shower; her leg instinctively hitches above my hip as her arm urgently cling to my shoulders. I lift her other leg as I run the tip of my achingly hard cock along the slit of her pussy. I feel it quiver with anticipation as I plunge deep into her tight heavenly warmth. Our moans echo within the walls of the shower as I begin to move in and out of her slowly at first but my thrust become wild with need to be as in her as humanly possible. I hit her sweet spot over and over as I thrust and swivel against her swollen nub. There are no words only guttural moans and groans of pleasurable pain. We come together one last time as the water begins to cool.

We quickly wash, dress and gather all of our belongings. We silently stand on the bow's deck of the _boat_ staring out at the lake as we wait for our car. The evening air is crisp; Bella shivers. I rub my hands up and down her arms to warm her as she leans into me closer. "Do you want to wait inside? It's getting cold out here."

"No, I love the cold air. It makes me feel alive . . . unless you're cold. Do _you_ want to go in?"

I kiss the top of her head warm by her concern for me. "Nope, I'm fine too."

Bella turns to face me. She's on her toes, her face a breath away from mine. She kisses the tip of my nose and I smirk at her silly gesture. "This has been the most amazing unforgettable . . . I can't tell you what it means to me . . . I love you so much Edward Cullen," she presses a tender kiss to my lips. Bella giggles as she breaks our kiss, "Even with hot cocoa, this beat watching the Rose Parade with grandma any day."

As I spot the limo drive up, I grab our bags. Bella leads the way to the car; I follow close behind. The driver places our bags in the trunk of the limo as Bella and I snuggle in the back seat. She rests her head on my chest as mine rest on top. Contently, we whisper words of love on our ride home.

Before the driver has time to exit the car, momma bear and her baby cub Alice are pulling Bella from the limo.

"Oh my goodness, it's about time! Tell me everything. Were you surprised? What about the dress . . . and the shoes, did they fit . . . did you like the twinkling lights on the boat . . . that was my idea," she gloats proudly, "oh, look at you, you're absolutely glowing. My baby boy done you good I see," she chuckles, "he gets that from his father." Esme wiggles her eyebrows up and down.

Groaning at my mother's words I mouth _I'm sorry_ but Bella waves me off with a wicked wink.

"Yes momma bear your baby boy sure did _done_ me good over and over again."

My head drops to my chest swinging side to side as I groan, "Why Bella, why do you encourage them."

A momentarily stunned momma bear and her cub burst into a raucous laughter with Bella joining in. All three walk toward the house arm in arm in arm as I watch the three women I love the most in the entire world talk and laugh about our sex life. With my arms in the air, I give up surrendering to my new world. A hormonal 'seventeen year old boy' lopsided grin spreads across my face realizing just how perfectly she fits between Alice and my mother and, more importantly, into my plans.

As the euphoric dreamlike events of our New Year's Eve and day linger in my thoughts, reality sets. The next few days flew by. Before I know it, my new rotation begins. Bella and I have become like two ships that pass in the night. Yes, I know that sounds so cliché but unfortunately that is our lives right now. With the passing of time, it also means that Bella will be leaving soon. She will be spending some time documenting her last adventure, she promises over and over, and then spending time several weeks visiting her father. I'm miserable knowing she will be gone for nearly a month.

"Edward, stop pouting." Bella admonishes me from across the kitchen table. "With your new rotation, you won't even have time to miss me. You sleep all day and work all night. We hardly see each other as it is."

Logically, I know she's right. Since I started my new rotation, I've spent most of my free time at Casa Cullen with Bella. We have breakfast together before I go to sleep. She lays wrapped in my arms and we talk in hushed tones about our days _and_ nights until I fall asleep. When I get up we have a late lunch early dinner with my parents before we are off again in two separate directions. That's been our routine.

"I'm not pouting," I counter.

She stares at me with one of those eyebrow raised 'I know you're lying' looks woman do so well and I concede.

"All right, all right, I'm pouting. I'm just going to miss you so much my heart aches at the thought of you leaving me."

Bella puts down her coffee mugs and takes my hand from across the table and looks deep into my forlorn eyes. She takes a deep breath before she speaks. "Edward, I am going to say this over and over until you get it through that thick stubborn Sheldon Cooper head of yours. This is my last trip, at least alone, I promise you. You are my family now, you and momma bear and Alice and poppa bear and your crazy cousin Emmett and even that oxymoron Rosalie. I belong here with you. My life began when we met. My heart beats for you and you alone." She gets ups and sits on my lap. "I love you with all my heart and all my soul. I promise I will always be your Bella. I live for you; I will always come back to you." A single tear falls from her eye.

I catch the tear on the tip of my finger and kiss it to my lips. We sit in silence as our hearts beat in unison. I am content knowing she will always come back to me.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Again, sorry for the delay. Please leave a review the chapter moved you. Reviews are my air. Until next time. World Cup starting soon so gotta go. **


	30. Chapter 30 Till Then Time Stands Still

**A/N: I am so grateful to the over 2.3k who read the last chapter. A special thanks to esmie, blk3660, ginkgo00 and alc1002 for your reviews and welcome to larkz,** **Rhixoxo, natalyc, vampiregirlz1, felc13, Cullen1910, Evaw3192001, and all the new followers and favorites of this story. You make me so very happy by showing your support and love for my story.**

**For those who have reviewed, I've hinted at some possible trouble up ahead for our happy couple Bella and Edward. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda Stephenie Meyer and all that legal stuff. You know the drill. I don't own "Till Then (Time Stands Still) is sung by 1980s pop icon Rick Astley and written by Matthew Aitken, Pete Waterman, and Michael Stock. **

**Chapter 30 "Till Then (Time Stands Still)"**

**EPoV**

"You're here all the time anyway! I simply don't understand why you're being so difficult. You're here in the morning for breakfast and then you sleep in Bella's room all day. The only time you go back to your apartment is to shower and change into a fresh set of scrubs . . . and maybe pick up extra clothes to leave here. Please baby boy, just move back home."

Frustrated beyond words, I run my fingers through my hair yanking at the roots. I look to Bella for assistance. She raises her hands and words 'you're on your own.'

"This is between you and momma bear." She shakes her head. "I'm only a spectator at this rodeo, cowboy."

I throw the traitor a death glare, take a deep cleansing breath to appease my rattled nerves and, oh so calmly, look to my insistent mother. So mom understands I am deadly serious about my decision, I articulate my words in a slow monotone voice. "Mother, for the last time, I love you but. . . " I pause, "I am _not_," I emphasize the word not, "moving back home. When Bella gets back from her trip we are going to sit down and have a serious discussion regarding where _we_," I motion between Bella and I, "are going to live . . ."

"We are?" Bella interrupts with surprised tone in her voice.

I turn to her, "Yes, we are." I most emphatically declare.

"Well, okay then." She smugly smiles relaxing back into her chair.

"Now, if you will excuse me mother," I stand taking Bella's hand in mine, "Bella and I are going upstairs so she can finish packing and then I'm taking my girl out to eat before she leaves tomorrow."

"We're going out to eat?"

"Yes, we are." I most emphatically declare again.

"I think I sort of like bossy sexy caveman Edward." She suggestively runs her fingers up and down my chest, her eyes darken.

In Bella's room, I relax against the headboard as I watch her sort and fold clothes attempting to figure out how to fit all of her belongings into her army size backpack.

"I don't think my clothes are going to fit. I don't get it. I really haven't bought any new clothes since I've moved to Seattle."

"I don't understand why you have to take all your clothes anyway. You're only going to be gone a month."

"I travel light Edward. Believe it or not I actually don't have a large wardrobe I just know how to mix and match what I do have. Besides, I don't want to wear the same outfit day in and out day and I will need my warmer clothes up north. The best time to watch the northern lights is usually in the middle of the night, it'll be freezing."

Once Bella finally has all of her belongings neatly packed away and stored near the door, the thought of her actually leaving me finally hits. _My_ Bella is leaving me. My Penny with the purple hair and twinkling golden honey eyes with the scent of freesia or strawberry or wisteria is leaving. I won't see her for an entire month. A sharp hollow aching pang tightens; I grab at my chest. _She can't leave. I don't care what she promised; I'm not letting her go. _How will I survive and entire month without her kisses, without that electric cosmic tingle when my fingertips touch her skin, without her wrapped in my arms as we sleep, without her smiles and her laughter and her sexy voice when she is being frisky. I simply won't survive without my heart . . . my soul . . . my other half that completes me.

I'm not even aware that Bella has snuggled up against my side her lips gliding along the nape of my neck as her arms tug me closer to her. "Babe, talk to me. What's the matter? You were looking at me but your eyes . . . your eyes look vacant like you're lost in a trance. I was asking if you're still going to be able to take me to the airport tomorrow and . . . and, I don't know, you seem to look right through me." She kisses my neck. "I love you. You are my love, my home. You have nothing to worry about. I'll be back before you even have time to miss me."

My melancholy voice is barely audible, "I miss you already and you haven't even left yet."

"I think I've lost my appetite for food," she runs her fingers up my chest, "and . . . if you go lock the door I might be tempted to show you what I _do_ have an appetite for." Her wet tongue traces the outline of my ear as a shiver runs down my spine.

She giggles as my lips attack hers. Her giggles morph into moans of pleasure. We make love over and over with whispered promises and declarations of love.

I stand at the doorway watching Bella manically search the room double checking that she hasn't forgotten anything.

"Baby, you have everything. Come downstairs." _Seeing her now empty room, my heart feels as if it is being ripped away from my chest. I need to get out of here now. _ "Mom has a special goodbye breakfast ready for you and everyone is here for your sendoff. And you know how Emmett is when there's food around. If we don't get downstairs soon all the food will be gone and you'll be stuck eating that awful airplane food."

"I just don't want to waste money buying something I really don't need."

I stare at her beauty as she takes one last look around the room as she slings her laptop over her right shoulder and camera across her chest, "Okay, I got everything. Let's go eat."

As I pick up Bella's army backpack that holds _all_ of her worldly belongings, I notice a pale blue envelope _and_ her Dartmouth ring atop the bureau. A cold sweat shivers through my body; her backpack falls from my hands.

"Bella . . . Bella, you're ring . . . you forgot your ring." My words are barely a murmur; my eyes lock on the ring. I can't move frozen in place.

She captures my stone face in her hands forcing me to break my stare, forcing me to look into her imploring eyes but I am unable to move. "Edward, it was supposed to be a surprise . . ."

"A surprise . . . how is leaving the ring I gave you supposed to be a surprise for me?" I ask with righteous indignation.

"Don't get all righteous with me Dr. Cullen. You're ruining what should have been a romantic gesture with your childish . . . even a bit spoiled mistrusting behavior. I gotta tell you," she intakes a needed breathe before continuing her tirade, "I'm more than a bit disappointed in your behavior. Actually, I sort of pissed right about now."

"Bella . . ." I try to interrupt but she raises her hand to my face.

"If you must know, I was worried I would lose the ring. I didn't want to take a chance of losing it, it means everything to me so I decided to leave it with you for safekeeping until I get back. I left instructions with you in my note." She states flatly with just a bit of sting in her voice for added measure.

Stunned at her words, I am left speechless. I don't know what to say. I _am_ ashamed of my childish rant. For what seems like an eternity, I am immobile as her words infiltrate that thick skull of mine until I hear her sniffle. I've made her cry and my heart aches for a different reason. I've hurt the only woman I will ever love.

"Bella, I'm so, so sorry sweetheart. Please," I beg, ". . . please forgive me I beg you. I've never been in a serious relationship. I'm just so afraid I'm going to lose you; I'm frightened that you're never going to come back to me and when I saw that you left your ring . . . I panicked. I simply don't understand how leaving is so easy for you. I'm dying right now."

"I can't believe you just said that to me Edward Cullen." Her tears disappear as her angry voice rises. "You think this is easy for me . . . for me to leave you and . . .," her tears return, ". . . and your family? I haven't seen my father in a very long time Edward; I miss him. He drives me crazy but he's my dad and I miss him. I shouldn't have to justify my wanting to visit my father to you of all people." Teardrops trickle down her cheeks as she speaks of her father. "As close as you and Esme are I thought you would understand my need to visit him. I can't even begin to explain how difficult it is for me to leave you . . . but, you know what, you're making it really easy rights about now acting like you're the only one in pain!"

She exhales a deep angry breath before she stares me into my tortured eyes. "Edward, I love you with my entire being . . ."

I open my mouth to speak but she begs for me to just listen to her words.

"I never, in my life, thought I would fall in love with someone as deeply as I have fallen in love you. And, I know with all my heart how much you love me too but our relationship has to be more than just love . . . it has to have trust too. You have to trust that I am coming back to you and right now," she inhales a stuttered breathe trying to hold back her tears, "right now it seems like you don't trust me despite all of my promises that this is my last adventure and that _I am_ coming home to you."

Bella searches my eyes for understanding, acceptance of her words. "You know I love you and trust you. In here," I point to my brain, ". . . in here I know you're coming back to me but in here," this time I point to my heart, ". . . here there is so much pain. I'm just going to miss you so much . . . I feel like there's a hole in my heart . . . I don't have the words to explain." Tears freely fall from my eyes at my apology. "Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you my Bella."

Before I am able to finish my sentence, Bella's lips crash with mine, her hands delve into my hair as my arms gather her body to mine. With our bodies desperate for oxygen, we finally pull apart our chests heaving for air.

"I love you too Edwards," she declares through her breathless words.

"Ummm . . . so I guess that was our first fight huh." I sheepishly state as I wrap Bella back in my arms.

"Yeah, I guess it was. Too bad we don't have time for makeup sex." She says into my chest.

"I can be fast if you want."

Bella hits my chest, "I would love nothing more than fast hot makeup sex but unfortunately I don't want to miss my flight. Come on let's go eat. They must be wondering what happened to us."

"Um Bella, what about the ring?"

"Leave it there for now. When you're really missing me you can open the note and read it, okay."

"Okay, now let's go eat. You're right Esme's food beats airplane food anytime."

As we make our way toward the kitchen, Bella squeezes my hand to reassure me. I squeeze back letting her know I'm fine.

"Emmett, we are not eating until Bella . . .," Esme pauses looking to me, ". . . so, no quickie after that fight of yours?"

Bella walks to mom as they embrace in a loving bear hug. "Oh Esme, I love that your words have absolutely no filter especially when it comes to your son's sex life," she chuckles. "But sadly, no there was no makeup sex. And as much as I was tempted for Edward to take me against the bedroom wall I didn't want to be responsible for Emmett's demise due to lack of food. I couldn't live with myself if he missed a meal. Look at him he's practically fading away to nothing."

At Bella's insight to our sex life a few things happen at once, dad spits out his coffee across the table, Emmett chokes on his toast, Jasper's eyes nearly dislodge from his sockets, Alice and Rosalie hoot and howler with raucous laughter and, still joined together, mom and Bella's bodies shake uncontrollably. All I can do is drop my head to my hands muttering 'shoot me now.'

Once the girl's hoots and howlers subside, mom instructs us to serve our plates and sit at the dining table to accommodate the large group. The room fills with the noises of silverware and dishes clanking and chattering and questions about Bella's trip to see the northern lights and her visit with her father. Our meal is like one of those movies where one character is still and everything else moves in fast motion. I'm that character. I wish time to move as slowly as possible but my wish is not granted and, all too soon, I announce it's time to take Bella to the airport.

There's a huddle of well wishes, hugs and kisses and whispered goodbyes. I pack the car as mom and Bella speak in hushed voices. Mom cries as she wraps her arms around Bella. Bella mimics mom's tears as she lays her head on mom's chest. Mom rubs her hands up and down Bella's back as she continues to talk. They finally pull apart as mom runs into the house. She quickly returns with a bag containing the quilt she has been working on for Billy Black. Bella tenderly places one last kiss on mom's cheek; heads down the stairs to the car then turns to wave a final goodbye to the Cullen clan.

The drive to SeaTac is quiet. Our hands have been linked since I drove away from the curb but there are no words. Every so often Bella looks out the passenger's window then stares at my profile as if trying to memorize every line of my face but she is silent. I'm wasting precious time, time that should be spent to say anything and everything I won't have a chance to say while she is gone.

The closer we get to the airport parking structure the tighter Bella holds onto my hands. I lift her hand placing reassuring kisses to the back of her hand; she gives me weak smiles. While she carries the quilt bag, I carry her backpack and cases. Silently, I wait with her as she checks in at one of the airport's kiosk. She checks in her backpack, stuffs her camera in the quilt bag and shoulders her laptop case. I know this is where we will part. I experience atrial tachycardia as my heart begins to beat out my chest, my blood floods my ears and I am going to hyperventilate knowing this is it; this is goodbye.

Bella motions for me to follow her head. I trail behind as she walks toward a somewhat secluded corner. She places her bag and laptop case on the floor near her feet. She places her head against my chest placing her ear to my heart as she wraps her arms around my waist. I rest my chin on her head inhaling her scent as I possessively wrap my arms around her trembling body. We stand like this for what seems like an eternity.

"I'm going to miss you so much Edward." She inhales a breath. "If I hadn't promised my dad I would come for a visit, I don't think I would be boarding that plane." She exhales a shaky breath.

"We could Skype and tell him you changed your mind." I joke weakly knowing I would give _anything_ if she would change her mind and _not_ get on that plane. I kiss her hair again and hug her tighter.

She looks up to me as our lips tenderly meet. At first our kiss is slow, adoring, loving before it turns heated, urgent, desperate. I need to show her I understand why she needs to leave. I slowly break the kiss with soft pecks to her swollen lips. With foreheads connected and shimmering eyes locked, we slow our breathing.

"You're only going to be gone a month. I'm going to be so busy with my new rotation, working all night and sleeping all day, and reviewing notes in my free time I don't even think I'm going to have time to think about you," I smirk attempting to lighten our mood by using her earlier words.

A small weak smile finally spreads across Bella's face as she wipes her tears away before hitting my chest. "Don't go flirting with one of those pretty night nurses you understand me Dr. Cooper." She gives me another weak smile.

"And don't you go and fall in love with one of the locals just because he knows the best places to see the Aurora Borealis. I'm serious. Do you think I have time to give you a couple of love bites so all the men know you're taken?"

"I'm telling you Sheldon . . . I'm really loving this whole new sexy caveman act you got going on."

I wrap Bella in my arms again and talk into her hair, "I wasn't joking about the love bites Penny."

Finally, a real laugh escapes. "I know you weren't Sheldon . . . I have to get going Edward," her tone serious again. She looks up giving me one last goodbye kiss that will need to sear my memory for an entire month.

"Come on let's get you in that security line before it gets any longer." I grab her quilt bag and laptop as she leads the way. We walk hand in hand until she reaches the TSA worker. I walk alongside the rope instructing her to be careful, to call me as soon as she lands no matter the time, to take lots of pictures and, most of all, to enjoy her visit with her father. _I'm so proud of myself at this very moment. _

When we get to the end of the line I see panic in her eyes then tears begin to shed. I shake my head. "No, no, no Bella no tears okay." She shakes her head in agreement wiping them away. I cup her face, place one last soft kiss to her lips and declare with all my heart and all my soul, "I love you my Bella."

"I love you to Edward, so much."

"Okay you better be going and, don't forget, when you get back we _are_ going to talk about where we are going to live . . . and it will not be with my mother."

"Sounds perfect . . . I'll talk to you soon. I love you Edward."

"I love you Bella."

I watch Bella move through the security line. Every so often, she turns and smiles or waves at me. Once she is completely out of sight, I make my way to my car. I plug in my Ipod because if there ever is a time for some Rick Astley, now is definitely the time. Just as I start my car, I get a text.

_I love you Edward & remember I might not have service in the mountains. Just text me and as soon as I get service I'll text you back don't worry about me I'll be fine. If you're missing me feel free to sleep in my bed. I told momma bear not to change the sheets : ) 3U – Bella/Penny_

**I love you so much too Bella/Penny Oh so that's what you and mom were talking about . . . thanks you can tell me not to worry but I can't promise anything going back to sleep as soon as I get home . . . I will be sleeping in your bed. ; ) 3 – Edward/Sheldon p.s. I'll take good care of your ring too**

_Okay I have to turn off my phone now . . . I think I'm going to cry . . . I love you my sexy bossy caveman . . . see you soon_

**You're not sitting next to a single man are you cuz if you are you better let him know right now you are taken . . . love you too my Bella . . . show this text to the jerk next to you ; )**

On the ride home, I sing along with Rick Astley envious of his deep melodic voice. _Okay, I spent way too much time with my mom as a child._ Oh well . . . I continue to sing along . . .

_I've been away for such a long time, Every day i miss you, All those long and lonely nights_

_Counting the hours till i'm with you_

_Till then, I'll keep holding on, Praying i'm not wrong, Hoping that our love is still strong_

_(till then) Keep our love alive, Hope you're satisfied, Till you're right here by my side, And the hands on the clock, Going round and round and round, But time don't seem to be moving at all_

_Every minute you were on my mind, Every day i wrote you, Half of me is lost in time, Half of me is always with you_

_Till then, I'll keep holding on, Praying i'm not wrong, Hoping that our love is still strong, (till then), Keep our love alive, Hope you're satisfied, Till you're right here by my side, And the hands on the clock, Going round and round and round, But time don't seem to be moving at all_

_Another ticket for another trip, To another destination (destination), It's just the thought of you that keeps me strong, Moving in the right direction_

Melancholy complete sets in as I toe off my shoes and climb in between Bella's sheets. I set the alarm on my phone, wrap my arms around Bella's pillow and inhale her lingering scent as I fall asleep thinking of my Bella.

**A/N: Next chapter is all Bella on her trip up north to see the Aurora Borealis and her visit with Charlie. I'd appreciate a review, my new goal is 300. Please help.**


	31. Chapter 31 My Arms Keep Missing You

**A/N: This chapter is all Bella on her visit to see the Aurora Borealis and, of course, her visit with Charlie. There are plenty of changes for our dynamic duo in the next few chapters. This chapter is divided into two parts, Bella's stay in Alaska and her visit with Charlie. Sorry for the delay on posting this chapter. I had a difficult time writing it with several different versions because I know what is to come. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. My Arms Keep Missing You sung by Rick Astley and written by**

**Peter Alan Waterman, Mike Stock, Matthew James Aitken. **

**Chapter 31 "My Arms Keep Missing You" (part one)**

_**BPoV**_

Before turning off my cell phone, I reread Edward's last text; I trace my fingertips over his possessive puerile words. '_You're not sitting next to a single man are you cuz if you are you better let him know right now you are taken . . . love you too my Bella . . . show this text to the jerk next to you ; )' _ If he only knew I'm actually sitting next to a mother and her young daughter. I consider sneaking a picture of the mother and daughter to ease his possessive mind but then I reconsider. Nope, let him simmer in his own juices, so to speak, for a bit. I don't want him getting too cocky and take me for granted. I let out a short chuckle, '_Who am I kidding? He owns me body and soul and then some.' _

I relax into my seat as the steward reviewing the emergency procedures blurs his words mute. I only see my Edward, hear his voice. _My Edward_, I love the sound of that. I sigh like a silly lovesick school girl thinking about images of _my_ man. My images morph into memories of his eyes locked with mine as he enters me. I squeeze my thighs together releasing a deep longing sigh. I'm going to miss him so much. I'm going to miss _us._ I'll miss being wrapped in his loving protective arms as we sleep. How will I sleep without him tonight or any night for the next month? Oh, how I miss _him_ already. All my thoughts center on Edward _and_ I'm a goner. I am going to miss _my_ sexy version of Dr. Sheldon Cooper and how he always tries to explain things to me in terms of science or medicine. I smirk as my thoughts wonder to our discussion of his scientific explanation of the Northern Lights_._

"_I'm a bit rusty with the exact details but from what I recall," he scratches his temple in contemplation as I fake a long bored yawn, ". . . the aurora borealis is created when the northern magnetic pole interacts with highly charged electrons from the solar wind . . . the solar wind streams from the sun, I forget how long they take to reach the earth's atmosphere, anyway the wind interacts with elements in the earth's atmosphere and guided by the earth's core lines of magnetic force through the magnetosphere. The electrons mix with oxygen and nitrogen which creates the various colors. If I remember correctly, green and red occur in the higher altitudes and purple and blues closer the earth. The elements reacting to each other are what create the electric cosmic connection." A smoldering sexy smile spreads across his face as his lips ghost my lips making my heart race as he continues. "Together the elements create a sensual dance as they mingle among the night stars to form an indescribable unbreakable connection." Our lips crash as his lesson is forgotten._

The sound of a ding indicating it is now safe to walk about the airplanes' cabin snaps me out of my Edward daydream. I hadn't even realized the plane had taken off. I pull Billy's quilt from under my seat wrapping it around me. It feels like home. I can slightly smell Esme's scent on the quilt and hug the edges just a bit tighter. Skipping the airplane meal, I nap during part of my three and half hour flight. My adrenaline finally crashes after the excitement of last night and this morning's activities with Edward and the Cullens. After my short snooze, I feel the need to stretch my legs so I make a quick visit to restroom. Returning to my seat, I scrutinize pictures on my camera transferring many of them to my laptop. I catalogue the pictures according to cities, landmarks, nature, dates and the locals.

Coming across the pictures Alice, Esme and I snapped at Casa Cullen I am suddenly hit with a case of homesickness. _What was I thinking leaving my adopted family?_ These memories do not belong with my other pictures. These pictures are personal not to be filed away with random snapshots of strangers. To capture the memories, I decide to create a slideshow of the pictures and make a candid picture of Edward and me as my laptop screen saver. I stare into his twinkling emerald green eyes. For the first time, I notice small lines around the corners of his eyes. I trace the lines with my finger. He must be working so hard at the hospital; he never complains. His eyes reveal the love and adoration he feels for me as he watches me laugh. There is an ache in my heart as I trace the outline of his lips unaware that tears have filled my eyes until soft silent tears trickle down my cheeks.

On my peripheral, I notice a white tissue wave. I blink the tears away looking in the direction of the tissue. I mouth 'thank you' to the woman sitting next to me as I take the tissue and wipe me lonely tears away.

"Is that your husband?" She tilts her chin in Edward's direction.

"No, he's my boyfriend." I proudly answer tucking the tissue in my pocket.

She glances over to her sleeping child then back to me. "If you don't mind me saying so, he is one good looking man." She exaggerates fanning herself. "Don't get me wrong my husband is a good looking man especially in his uniform but _your_ man," she fans her face again, "he _is_ simply divine." She leans close to my ear whispering, "No wonder you were having a sex dream about him." She winks at me as she sits back into her chair covering her daughter with an airplane blanket.

I must look like a cartoon character as my eyes shoot out of their sockets as my lower jaw falls to my laps embarrassed beyond belief; I bury my face in my hands. The woman gently pats my knee telling me not to worry. "Don't worry, you're moans weren't that loud."

My face still buried in my hands feeling my blush down to my toes, a loud groan escapes between my fingers.

"Yeah, your moans were just like that."

"Oh My God, I am so embarrassed," I utter through my hands, ". . . did . . . did I say anything?" I shudder at the thought of what I may have said in front of a complete stranger . . . no scratch that, to all the passengers on the plane. If I were sitting with Esme and Alice, I would be gloating about Edward's sexual prowess but . . . but sitting with a complete stranger . . . this is so humiliating.

"Um, well . . . is your boyfriend's named Edward?"

I nod dropping my hands.

She giggles, "Don't look so worried most of it was hard to understand, lots of mumbled words . . . other than Edward and love . . . so relax."

I take a deep cleansing breath relieved I didn't say anything too embarrassing.

"I hope you don't mind but I took a peak at some of your pictures. They're amazing."

"Would you like to see them?" I suggest as a means of passing the time.

She nods in agreement. "I'm Maggie by the way and," she looks to her sleeping daughter, "and that little munchkin is Siobhan."

"I'm Bella, nice to meet you." I begin with my slideshow of the Cullen narrating each picture then viewing pictures from my travels. Before I know it, the flight attendant announces time to turn off all electronics and that the plane would be landing in Fairbanks in twenty minutes.

Once off the plane, Maggie, Siobhan and I make our way to the baggage carousel. While waiting for my oversized backpack, I turn on my phone ecstatic to be instantaneously greeted with an '_I love you and miss you already'_ text from Edward. At his words, I feel a tiny flutter deep within me. I send him a similar text knowing he's at work right now. We grab our respective bags, say our goodbyes and make our way out the airport. Maggie looks around and spots a tall good looking military man. Wide smiles cross both their faces as she and Siobhan runs into her husband's welcoming arms. I smile at their reunion; I want that kind of reunion with Edward. _I can't wait to get home. _I inhale deeply shrugging my shoulders muttering 'Oh well' as I look around for the rental car office. After signing my paperwork and getting my keys, I'm finally on the road heading about twenty miles north of Fairbanks to my lodge. To stay on my budget, I stop to pick up some groceries at a local market.

As I pull into the gravel covered lodge parking lot just before dark, I can't help but be excited knowing I am finally going to see the Northern Lights despite missing Edward and my adopted family. I turn off the ignition taking a deep breath mentally going over my agenda for the upcoming week and a half stay. A portion of my stay will be at the lodge and then at a local hotel in Fairbanks. I fully intend to make the most of my time having previously scheduling three separate nights for viewing the lights while the rest of my visit will be spent taking pictures of Fairbank's historical buildings and sites, do some hiking along the Tanana River and, keeping my fingers crossed, interview members of the local native Alaskans about the oral history of the Northern Lights.

Exiting my rental car, the glacial Alaskan air hits me. I shiver pulling the collar of my jacket higher around my neck. The Seattle weather is cold but it's nothing compared to this biting cold that seems to assault me to the core, my entire body shivers in response again. At least in Seattle, I had Edward's loving arms to keep me warm and, of course, _our_ hoodie. Momentarily, I pout thinking how will I sleep tonight without his arms around me but, as another blast of freezing air goes through me, I realize my clothes are not warm enough. First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going back to town to purchase much warmer clothes. There goes my budget and plan of saving money this trip . . . my last trip alone; I'm done roaming, running away and I am done denying what I want.

I drop my backpack in the corner of the room, place my grocery bags on the table and Billy's quilt on the bed and fall exhausted on the bed. I close my eyes my minding bombarded with a myriad of scattered thoughts. I giggle as I think of the word _myriad_ recalling the first time I heard it in the cult classic Heathers; it became one of my favorite words. "Okay, I'm losing my mind thinking about a vocabulary word when I'm just hours away of possibly seeing the magnificence that is the Northern Lights from my cabin's window . . . get a grip woman."

Unable to sleep, I grab my Ipod hoping music will lull me to sleep. As each song ends and a new song begins, I think of Edward until I hear a song that turns all my thoughts to momma bear. I don't know how she did it but as I scroll down my playlist I discover she has somehow managed to download her entire collection of Rick Astley songs into my Ipod. I recall Edward telling me a story about her doing the same thing to his Ipod before he left for college. She is going to pay for this invasion of my privacy. I close my eyes and plot my revenge until I hear _When I Fall in Love_ and I think of Edward and New Year's Eve and I think I owe momma bear some flowers when I get home. I hold my Ipod close to my heart thinking of my man as I slip into slumber.

After my nap, I reach for my cell phone to check in with Esme, really I just want to hear momma bear's voice. Maybe next year just us gals could plan a trip up here. I can't explain the need to let her know I've safely arrived and I'm fine. I've traveled all around the country and, sadly, never felt the need to check in with my mom Renee. This is a very new strange sensation for me. I toss the pillow against the headboard and wrap myself around the quilt then call Esme. She answers it on the first ring; she must have had her phone in her hand.

"Oh honey, come home I miss you already. Alice downloaded a countdown calendar on my laptop for me. You know the kind that shows the day, hour, minutes and seconds . . ." she takes a short breath, ". . . you know the kind I'm talking about . . . maybe I should have her install one for Edward . . . I didn't think of that before . . .oh, I'm sorry, hello sweetie. How are you?"

I wipe a few tears from my eyes attempting to control my voice before saying 'hello.' I can't believe I'm crying hearing her ramble on about her countdown calendar. "Hi momma bear, how are you? I'm good a bit tired but well." Our conversation easily flows as I discuss my plans for my stay as she warns me over and over to be careful and take plenty of pictures. I warn her I may not be checking in after today as I'm not sure if my cell phone will work in the forest. I ask her to take care of Edward, like she needs me to tell her that, and reassure him the time will go by so fast he won't have time to miss me. I say that more to reassure myself and confide that I can't wait to get back home. As I anticipate, Esme cries when I say goodbye and then I allow my tears to flow free down my cold cheeks.

A bit disappointed the Northern Lights were not visible on my first night; I am more than a bit anxious and optimistic for tonight. I know there is always a chance that the lights don't appear. I zip up my new much warmer and much heavier jacket, sling my camera over my shoulder and stick my cell phone in my pocket. If the lights appear tonight, I will focus on taking as many pictures of the night's sky as possible. My second tour will center on photographing and documenting the reaction of the other visitors as the lights illuminate the sky. However, my last visit will be for me. I simply want take in nature's gift, no camera or cell phone. With all my sense, I want to absorb the experience, the power of nature and imprint the smell of the spruce trees, the sounds of the crackling electric sky, the sight of the sky's colors, the taste of the hot chocolate and the touch of my tears running down my face as I take in the awe inspiring beauty of nature's mystical magical dance. A sudden wave of melancholy washes away my excitement realizing this trip would be perfect if only Edward were here by my side. _God I miss him so much. How will I last a month without him when he is in my every thought? _

On the short ride farther up the hill, our tour guide informs the group that while the lodge is far from the Fairbank's city lights going up higher will improve our chances of seeing nature's spectacular light show. The guide continues to speak into the microphone providing the scientific explanation of the Northern Lights. The tour guides voice is drowned out as I think of Edward and hear _his_ voice as he explains the phenomenon.

My first two visits up the hill go as planned. I record a short video of the spiraling green pixie lights as they dance across the sky on my cellphone and send it to Edward. _I wish he was here to see this with me. _As I record, I tell him we have to take a trip up here, I tell him I need his warm arms around me, I tell him how much I miss him and, pausing to control my trembling voice, how much I love him. I will send the video as soon as I get back to the lodge. I know he's at the hospital so he may have a chance to see it during his break. I want to share this experience with him. I record another video to send to Esme and Alice sans the personal narration and order them to start booking a trip next year for the entire family. A sly smirk crosses my face knowing momma bear will squeal in delight at my words _entire family._

From the Alaskan natives, I learn that the lights are carried by the sky dwellers who lead the spirit of those who have died a brave death through a hole that leads to the pathway of the true heaven. I tour Fairbanks receiving multiple texts from the Cullen clan during the day warning me to be careful and come home soon while, at night, Edward texts longing words of love.

On my last day in Alaska, I call Charlie to remind him of my time of arrival and, with a rather stern voice, I remind him that under no circumstances is he to work while I visit. He assures me that he has his vacation all scheduled and has informed his staff he will be unavailable. He tells me that a deputy almost had a stroke falling off his chair when he notified the staff he would be off for a few weeks. "They thought I was joking," he snorts.

I stand at the edge of the curb of the Port Angeles Airport waiting for Charlie in anticipation of the hour long awkward ride back to Forks. As I look down, I am suddenly overcome with the realization that I am standing in front of all my earthly possessions. "Bella Swan, you are so pathetic." Of course, I left my heart and ring with Edward but everything else I own is right in front of me. If my trip to Alaska has taught me anything, it is that I no longer want to be a drifter afraid to build a home with an unshakeable foundation. I am no longer afraid of becoming a trapped 'Stepford Wife.' In my travels across this country, Esme Cullen is one of the strongest women I have ever met. She does not apologize for being a stay at home mom during a time when women are expected to work rather she takes immense pride having created such a loving home, being a loving momma bear who would do anything for her baby cubs and a downright sexy adoring wife. She _is_ my role model. I will no longer only rent a room because it's easy than creating a real home. I've been frightened of life for so long but no more. I am determined to make drastic changes to my current state of affairs.

When I get home, I'm going to start looking for a real home, a home with Edward. "Maybe we'll get a dog," I say aloud. "I've always wanted a dog, Max if it's a male and Maxie if it's a female." A wide smirk spreads across my face visualizing Edward and I holding hands taking our dog for a walking in the evening as he tells me about his day at the hospital and I tell him about mine. Maybe we'll stop for a coffee. After all, in Seattle there's a coffee shop on every corner and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else but Seattle.

"What's that silly looking grin about Bells?"

My dad's voice awakens me from my Edward induced daydream. The passenger's window is down; he is leaning across the seat a matching smile on his face.

"I was just thinking about how happy I am to home for a visit," I unconvincingly lie.

"Uh huh, sure you were. You were never a good liar Bells." His voice is dry. Dad hops out of the car and begins to load my belongings into the trunk.

I don't relish sitting in the car in uncomfortable silence for the next hour. If it's not about police work or sports, my dad's not much of a talker so I am more than shocked when he begins the conversation. "So Bells, tell me all about this young man of your."

A/N: Information about the Northern Lights from .com website. I'm not that smart when it comes to science. I just love the Northern Lights, they're pretty awesome folks! Part two will continue with Bella's visit with Charlie. Once again, sorry for the long delay.


	32. Chapter 32 My Arm Keep Missing You P2

**A/N: Okay folks let's see a glimpse of what Edward and the Cullen clan have been up to since Bella left and then a good heart to heart between Bella and Charlie. It's a bit angsty. Not beta'd so all mistakes are mine, sorry.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. My Arms Keep Missing You sung by Rick Astley and written by**

**Peter Alan Waterman, Mike Stock, Matthew James Aitken. **

**Chapter 32 "My Arms Keep Missing You" Part two **

**EPoV**

I stretch my body automatically searching for _my_ Bella but instead I'm met with cold lonely sheets. I groan realizing she isn't here in bed next to me; she didn't sleep in my arms last night. I miss her so much. I miss watching her slip on _our_ hoodie before climbing into bed instinctively entangling her long naked legs with mine. I miss spooning . . . _oh how perfectly we fit together_ . . . I miss her scent of fressia, wisteria and strawberry . . . I miss our cosmic electric connection at every slight of touch. She's gone. _What will I do without her? How will I survive an entire month? _

In the short time we have been together, she has become my other half, I'm incomplete without her. I pull her pillow to my face inhaling her scent to pacify my craving for her body and soul.

Reluctantly, I pull myself away from thoughts of missing Bella. I need to get up and ready for the hospital. Grabbing my cellphone off the nightstand, I check for any new messages from Bella rereading a previous text '_loving the Northern Lights but their cosmic electric connection got nothing on us xoxoxo – I love you' _which only makes me miss her more. I admonish myself. _Get a grip man. You're not a lovesick seventeen year old boy . . . you can do this . . . it's only a month . . . now get up and stop moping. _I send a quick _I miss you and I love you _text before climbing out of bed. Despite just waking, I stretch my knotted muscles squeezing my eyes closed at my sore tense muscles. Perhaps a short run might help relax my tense body and rid me of some of this pent up missing Bella energy too. Reopening my eyes, I notice Bella's ring and instantly regret my earlier juvenile reaction until a brilliant idea pops into my head. Forget my run. I have some work to do.

In the kitchen, mom's eyes are transfixed on something of immense interest on her laptop. She hardly acknowledges that I'm in the room. Standing behind her, I sneak a peek grinning at the Northern Lights slideshow Bella had sent. To pull her out of her trance, I clear my throat but get no response. I extend my arm out and drop something to the right of her laptop. Yup, that got her attention. She silences the clank of metal to marble by placing her hand over the object but her eyes remain glued to the screen. Nonchalantly, she swipes the object into her hand, logs off the laptop and turns to me with a gleam in her eye. She knows me too well.

"So what's the plan baby boy?"

With great enthusiasm, I detail my plan. Mom listens intently occasionally nodding and humming in agreement. Her face gives her emotions away, her eyes twinkle in delight and when I'm done divulging my plan she leaps into my arms trapping me in a mother of all momma bear hugs.

"Oh Edward, I'm so happy for you." Mom's soft words are filled with emotion. She rarely calls me by my given name, she is serious. "I know you and Bella are going to be as happy as your father and I have been." She breaks her hold wiping a few tears away. "Now enough of this mushy stuff we've got to work."

"Mom, don't get ahead of yourself she has to say yes first." I nervously warn.

She swats the back of my head as she makes her way back to her laptop. "Of course she's going to say yes. You're perfect for each other . . . oh," an idea pops into her head as her eyes widen. "The deejay will _have_ to play _When I Fall in Love _for your first dance as man and wife and . . ."

"Mommm." I warn again.

"Okay, okay party pooper one thing at a time . . . but promise you'll think about it," she grins batting her eyes.

Ever the momma's boy, I promise to ask but make it crystal clear Bella will have the final decision as we begin searching images on the internet. I leave mom with a basic idea of what I'm looking for and warn that I alone will have the final say. Of course she pouts but agrees as I leave for the hospital. I send Bella one last text before arriving for my shift. God, I miss her so much.

_BPoV_

"So Bells, tell me all about this young man of your."

_Damn it_ I internally groan knowing I'm trapped in this car with a curious Charlie for another hour or so. _What to do, what to. Internally, I tap my chin attempting to come up with a plan to sidetrack the current topic of conversation . . . ah huh!_ Always the parent, I speak in a stern motherly voice, "Oh no you don't mister first things first. How are _you_ doing? I'm very unhappy with you at the moment."

"Why are you unhappy with me?" Filled with shock, he furrows his brow as his voice rises.

Satisfied that I have successfully changed the subject of Edward, at least for now, I try to hide the sly grin threatening to spread across my face. I look out the window until my victorious grin fades. I angle my body towards dad, furrow my brow and speak. "Merry Christmas dad," I say with an obvious note of sarcasm in my voice.

Charlie groans knowing full well where this conversation is leading. He tightens his grip on the steering wheel his knuckles whiten as his eyes focus on the road ahead. _Yup, just what I thought._

"You're just now taking time off for the holidays? It's the middle of January for Christ sake. Dad you're not taking care of yourself," I scold. "I've asked you over and over not to work so many shifts especially the night shifts . . . to give some of the night shifts to the younger deputies but . . ." He tries to interrupt as I shake my head side to side continuing my rant. ". . . instead of slowing down it's seems as if you're working even more hours especially since I left."

He winces at my last words and I am abruptly assaulted with the realization that perhaps he works more hours because he's alone but, more to the point, because possibly he's lonely. I feel a wave of guilt engulf my body as the words remain stagnant hanging in the air. His pride would never allow him to admit that he is lonely.

"Bells you have to understand . . . some of these new deputies don't have the experience they need to handle a night shift with a skeleton crew . . . some of them have families . . . young kids," he adds.

I counter, "Did you ever stop to consider that _maybe_ these new guys don't have the experience because _you_,"I point at him, "_you_ don't give them the opportunity to show you what they can do. You don't give them the opportunity to get the experience the need." I take a much needed breath. "Answer me this dad, who hired the new deputies?"

Charlie's voice is barely audible, "I did."

"Knowing you, I'm sure you reviewed their performance records from the Academy before you even considered them as viable candidates. You wouldn't have hired them if they didn't fit the bill. Am I right?" No answer. "Am I right?"

Charlie simply nods.

"Then let them do the job _you_ know they are more than capable of doing."

"But they have families Bells . . . young kids."

There's that phrase again 'they have young kids.' I resent those words. _I was once a young kid too but that didn't stop him from working double shifts. _I'm hurt as he repeats that some of the newer deputies have young kids and families. I recall countless times my dad working double shifts while I was in high school despite his health issues and warnings to take it easy. This time my voice is barely audible. "You used to work double shifts," I turn toward the window splattered with raindrops unable to look at my dad, "when I was in high school. Sometimes _I_ was home all alone while you worked double shifts. I was home all alone at night. _You_ had a kid at home but you still worked double shifts." I say accusingly then pause taking a stuttered breath. "What about _your_ kid dad?" My voice trembles. Staring out the window, now I wish I hadn't changed the subject. I could be talking about Edward right now instead of opening old wounds.

"Bells," he pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts then reaches over placing his hand on mine, "Bells when you came back to take care of me . . . after my heart attack . . . I saw how strong you were. You were this teenage kid who barged right in and took control. You took control of everything . . . the house, the cooking, school and taking care of me . . . I was so proud of you. You didn't need me Bells; I needed you. I needed you to take care of me. I'm ashamed to admit that but it's true. And, when I went back to work . . ." he squeezes my hand to reassure me, "I knew you would be fine without me. You showed me every day that you could handle things all alone."

I pull my hand away folding my protective arms across my chest. "I knew you needed me dad that's why I came home but . . . but guess what," my angry sarcasm returns, "I needed you too. Why couldn't you see that?" My attempts to hold back my hurtful tears fail as I angrily wipe them away. "I needed a _home_ too dad! I needed a real home and I needed my dad . . . I needed a family . . . I wanted a family! Just because I knew how to take care of a house didn't mean . . . never mind. It's not important now." I tighten my arms wishing they were Edward's arms. I need him so much right now.

Pain crosses Charlie's face. He is quiet for what seems like an eternity before he speaks again. "Bella . . . please listen to me . . . please, I didn't realize you felt abandoned. The way you took charge I just assumed . . . I don't know what I thought but believe me . . . " He begins to look around before pulling the car to the shoulder of the road and shutting off the motor. He turns his entire body to me, "Bella, look at me . . . please Bells, look at me."

I force myself to look up into his painfully tortured eyes as he begins to speak.

"If I could change the past, believe me I would in a heartbeat. I need you to understand that I have always loved you you're my baby . . . my daughter. I love you more than my own life. It broke my heart when your mother left taking you from me. At first, I thought I was miserable because your mom had left me but then I realized it wasn't your mom I missed . . . it was my baby girl." Charlie pauses for a moment. "I found keeping busy at the station got me through the days . . . I wasn't as lonely there. I don't think I would have survived if it hadn't been for my work . . . and after I got sick . . . you came back . . . you were so independent so in control of everything . . . I thought you didn't need me . . . plus, since we're being perfectly honest, I didn't know how to act around a teenage girl. I'd lived alone for so long I just thought it was better to leave you on your own. That's why, once I got better, I worked the extra shifts. I thought teenage girls liked their privacy . . . I didn't know anything about raising a teenager especially a teenage girl. That's not an excuse Bells . . . just the truth. I was scared."

For the first time in my life, I watch my father weep begging for my forgiveness. I fly forward wrapping my arms around my weeping father as his arms wrap around mine. I don't think I've ever hugged my dad. "Why didn't you ever tell me any of this," I plead. "I always felt like you just wanted me around to clean the house . . . and do the laundry . . . and cook your meals so that's what I did . . . I think that's why, as soon as I graduated from high school, I had to get away. I felt unwanted . . . tied down . . . spending so much time alone I thought this isn't a life . . . I can't explain what I was feeling . . . " I hiccup my words. "Then, when you forced me to go to college, I felt like I didn't have a say in running _my_ own life. I didn't want to feel trapped. I wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted. Don't get me wrong . . . you were right about making me go to college but, at the time, I resented you so much for controlling my life when I felt you really were never a part of it. Part of doing so well in college was because I hoped I would make you proud of me. I'm sorry if this hurts you but it's how I felt . . . how I feel."

Charlie pulls away looking me in the eye, "Bells, I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry that that's what you thought. I wasn't trying to control your life I just wanted to make sure you would be able to take care of yourself . . . to support yourself . . . not have to depend on a man. I wanted you to be able to eventually live your life the way you wanted and not have to struggle. When you told me you were going to travel the country, at first, I was worried but I knew you would be okay. I knew you could take care of yourself."

Wiping the last of my tears away, I murmur, "We should have had this conversation a few years ago . . . things would have been so different . . . my life would have been different."

"Well Bells, to be perfectly honest, if it's not about police work or sports, I'm not much of a talker."

I chuckle at his admission 'cause ain't it the truth. To tell the truth, this is the longest conversation I've ever had with my dad.

Attempting to lighten the mood, Charlie wipes away the last of _his_ remaining tears. "And, while we are being completely honest, I have to admit Bells I never wanted you to leave . . . you're one hell of a cook."

"Speaking of food . . . what exactly am I going to find in the fridge when we get home?" _Old habits are hard to break when it comes to taking care of my dad._

Charlie clears his throat and starts the car ignoring my question. He attempts to act busy looking in the rearview mirror then the side mirror in order to safely get back on the road but it's not working.

"Charlie, I asked you a question. What am I going to find?" I annunciate each word slowly to get my message across. "You might as well tell me now 'cause if it's bad at least I'll have time to prepare."

"Now honey, just remember the holidays are barely over . . . um, and a lot of the wives baked cookies and stuff . . . I couldn't be rude and say no could I?"

I huff in frustration. All my hard work in creating a health food regiment is down the drain. I cross my arms again mumbling about pizza boxes and beer cans.

"I love you Bells." Charlie whispers. I spy small crooked grin appear.

"I love you dad." I whisper in return.

"Bells, can I say one more thing?" He momentarily hesitates. "About your mom . . ."

I groan vehemently shaking my head side to side, "No dad. I do not want to talk about Renee. No."

"Okay, I get it. Now is not a good time but soon okay. This talking business . . . once you get started you sorta can't stop." He grins. "Let's change the subject. _Now_ tell me about your young man." Charlie's grin grows wider.

The last half of the ride home my dad drives quietly listening as I talk about my Edward, momma bear and the rest of the Cullen clan. When we pull up to the house Charlie shuts off the ignition, turns to me and looks me directly into my eyes. Quizzically, I look at him as he simply states, "You're in love with him." _That's my dad straight to the point and a man of few words."_

A wide revealing smile crosses my face. "I'm in with love him." _I guess, like my dad, I'm a gal of few words. _

"Can't fool a cop." He laughs. "Now remember Bells," Charlie says nervously as he exits the car motioning toward the house, "remember you love me okay."

"I have a bad feeling about this dad. All of a sudden you seem awfully jittery." Charlie is definitely nervous. Carrying all my worldly belongings, Dad's right on my heels begging me to remember he loves me as I slowly climb the porch stairs. I unlock the door and, after our talk on the ride home, I feel like maybe I'm home for the first time.

"I'll put these in your room. I washed the bedding for you and put some clean towels in the bathroom . . . so um you're all set." Head down, he nervously climbs the stairs mumbling something about food and I'm in for it now.

Making a beeline to the kitchen, I canvas the room for any hidden contraband groaning when I discover he failed to succeed in hiding food he knows he shouldn't be eating. "You would think a cop would know something about covering up I crime scene," I grumble. Obviously, he tried to clean up but failed miserably. It's not as bad as I thought but could be better. As my eyes squeeze shut a wide yawn escapes. I hadn't really slept that well on the plane and after the emotional roller coaster car conversation my body is telling me it's time for a much needed nap. I'm pooped. I take one last look around. _This mess can wait until later tonight or tomorrow._ Right now I need to hear Edward's voice and then a nap.

The phone doesn't complete its first ring before I hear, "Hey baby. I miss you so much. Come home now," he pleads "I can't sleep without you."

God, I miss that sexy pouty velvet voice. "Hi baby. I miss you too." Another yawn escapes. "Where are you right now? Are you home?" I try to hide yet another yawn.

"Bella, are you tired? You keep yawning."

I hear worried concern in his voice. "Yeah, I woke up way too early to get to the airport on time. I didn't really sleep on the plane. I'm just tired after traveling all day. You know how traveling can wear a person out. Where's momma bear? Was she able to open the pictures I sent her? Tell her I say hi and I miss her. How's work going?" Another longer and louder yawn escapes.

"Sweetheart, as much as I would love nothing more than to listen to that sexy voice of yours all night long . . . you sound like you really need to get some sleep. You sound exhausted."

"Ohhhhh, is that Bella?" I hear Esme's voice in the background questioning Edward. "Give me the phone baby boy. I want to say a quick hello to my homegirl." I hear Edward groan as he apparently struggles for the phone. I hear Esme laughing at her antics. _I miss her so much._

"Mom stop . . . give me my phone back now."

When Edward finally gets back on the phone I tell him I don't want to hang up. I miss hearing his voice but he insists I get some sleep.

"Go take a nap. I'll call you tomorrow morning when I get off my shift," he promises, "now you get some sleep doctor's orders. I love you baby."

"I love you too . . . talk to you tomorrow morning." I don't want to hang up as I stifle another yawn.

"Bella hang up the phone." Edward laughs.

"I don't want to." I pout. "You hang up the phone first."

"No, you hang up first." He laughs again. "I've never had a serious girlfriend. This is the first time I've ever done the 'you hang up first' thing. It's kinda of silly isn't it?"

"Yeah it is. I've never done this either. It is kinda silly so just hang up."

"No you hang up . . . oh God, this could go on forever."

In the background, I hear Esme mimicking 'no you hang up.'

"As much as I hate to, I'm going to hang up first." Despite his words, Edward doesn't hang up.

Lying on my bed my eyes begin to droop as my body relaxes into the bed. I can't keep this 'you hang up first' thing up any longer. "Edward, as much as I hate to declare defeat, you're right. I'm exhausted. I can't even keep my eyes open. I need a nap like yesterday. I'm going to count to three and we hang up at the same time okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning okay. I love you . . . bye baby." I whisper the last part.

"Bye babe . . . I love you too. Sleep tight."

I count one, two, three as Edward and I hang up in unison.

I yank off my shoes and tug off my jeans, snuggle under my purple duvet and am asleep before my head hits the pillow. Sometime during the night, I wake to moonlight darkness. I look around my room using the slivers of silver light to spy my childhood belongings before I falling back to sleep.

I must have been more tired than I thought. The next time I wake up it's nearly ten in the morning. Feeling refreshed, I stretch my body all the way down to my toes and, suddenly, all my thoughts turn to Edward and his toes curling orgasms. I smile until I remember Edward's call.

In a panic, I search for my phone. Damn it, I see a missed call from Edward. Disappointed, I listen to his sleepy voice message. Looking at the time again I know he's probably sound asleep by now. I'll have to call him later this evening. This night shift sucks big time. Instead, I make a quick call to Esme. For a few minutes, she fills me in on Edward, we gab about the family before she begins to gush over the pictures and video I sent her. I tell her I can't talk too long as I've got my work cut out revealing she would be outraged if she saw the state of my dad's kitchen. And, in typical Esme fashion, she offers to drive the more than four trek to Forks to help. I thank her for her offer but tell her she's being silly. I promise to call later and hang up.

I hit the bathroom and ready for the day before making my way downstairs. As usual, dad's in the kitchen reading his paper drinking a cup of java. Some things never change. "Morning dad sorry I slept so late. I guess I more tired than I thought."

"No problem Bells remember this is _our_ vacation," he snorts.

Surveying the kitchen I add, "Looks like a working vacation for me," I scowl opening my notepad application on my cell phone. I look around making some basic notes before checking the cupboards and then the fridge.

"What are you doing Bells?" Charlie sheepishly asks.

"First things first dad I'm gonna get this kitchen up to par then I'm going to start cooking and freezing some meals for you and then I'm going to create a meal calendar for you with healthy meals and recipes that even _you_ can follow," I scold. "Don't give me that look. You promised you were going to take care of yourself and look at this mess." Completing my shopping list, I ask dad for the car keys.

"Where are you going Bells?"

"_We_ are going to the market. I'm going to teach the right way to shop for groceries. Now grab your jacket and let's go," I order. _Okay, okay I hear my voice and, yup dad's right. I do sound just a little bossy. I sound like momma bear!_

Just as we are about to leave dad's phone rings. I give him the evil eye but his eyes plead to let him answer it. He promises this is the last time and, reluctantly, I concede. Old habits are hard to break.

"Okay, but _you_ are going with me the next time. You got it mister." I use my most stern voice and there it is again. I'm so bossy I chuckle to myself.

Charlie salutes me on his way to the landline, "I promise chief," and answers the phone. Covering the phone's receiver, he calls out to me and mouths 'I love you Bells.'

I smirk, "I love you too dad."

I stay at the market longer than I had expected. I had forgotten about the limited selection so I had to do some improvising. Pulling into the driveway, I honk the horn hoping Charlie will come out to help me carry the bags into the house. Walking into the house, I carry two of the heavier bags. I call out to Charlie letting him know I'm home. "Dad, come help me with the grocery bags." I laugh, "I bought enough to last you until spring." No response. "Dad, come help me please." I call out again but again no response. I walk to the end of the staircase calling out 'Charlie' more as a question. "That's strange. Where did he get to? If he had someone from the station pick him up," I grumble, "that's it. He will be in so much trouble."

Just as I dropped the heavy bags on the kitchen table, the corner of my eye spies something on the floor that catches my attention. I shot to the floor screaming 'dad' for what seemed like an eternity until I remember what to do in an emergency, stay calm. I quickly checking to see if he is still breathing, _oh God please let him still be breathing, _Keeping my eye on my dad's motionless body, I call 911 telling them my dad, the chief, is barely breathing.

I cry repeating, "Everything is going to be okay dad . . . everything is going to be okay . . . everything is going to be okay . . ." as I faintly hear the sirens approach.

A/N: Would really love to hear what you think.


	33. Chapter 33 Cry for Help

**A/N: Okay, let's see what's happening with Charlie and how Bella is handling things. It's going to be a bumpy road folks so hold on tight. Yikes! **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 33 "Cry for Help"**

_Everything is going to be okay . . . everything is going to be okay _but Charlie is face down on the kitchen floor hardly breathing. How is everything going to be okay? I look around the room; I don't know what I'm looking for but I continue to look until it hits me. Charlie's not breathing; he needs oxygen. I know I'm not supposed to move him but he needs oxygen. I position him so that he is lying on his back and begin CPR. What do I do again? In my panic, I can't remember anything. If I am going to save my dad, I need to stay calm, focus. _Stay calm and focus. _I begin CPR until I feel a firm but gentle hand on my shoulder and hear a voice telling me he will take over. Stubbornly, I shake my head no shrugging off the hand from my shoulder. _I_ have to take care of my dad. I hear another voice, a voice I think I recognize say, "Let him help Charlie Bella. He knows what his doing." I fight being taken away from my dad but two sturdy arms pull me up and away; my eyes remain fixed on his helpless body. A paramedic takes over CPR while another is assessing his condition readying him for the gurney.

The paramedics load dad into the ambulance. _They're taking him away._ In hysterics, I scream that I am going with him whether they like it or not; I refuse to leave his side. The paramedic with the voice I recognize helps me climb in next to Charlie. I can't connect the voice with a face; everything is such a blur all my focus is on Charlie. Sitting next to my dad, I whisper into his ear promising that everything is going to be okay. I reassure him that his Bells is here for him. I'm going to take care of him; he just needs to wake up. He can't leave me.

I don't know how long it takes to get to the hospital but, for me, it isn't fast enough. When the siren shuts off the doors are yanked opened. Quickly, they remove dad's gurney rolling it into the Emergency Room entrance. I follow behind until a nurse informs me I can't go any farther; I need to stay in the waiting room for now. As the automatic emergency room doors close I cry out, "I want to be with my dad. I want to be with my dad."

I stand frozen transfixed on the closed doors that separate my dad and me. I don't notice when the voice places a gentle hand to my back leading me to the waiting room. My feet are planted in front of the door. I won't move; I can't move from this spot.

"Bella you need to fill out some paperwork. They need some of Charlie's medical information."

Still in a trance, I pick up the clipboard mechanically filling out the forms. I don't know many of the answers and I begin to cry. _I don't know my dad like I should._ My cries become louder as the clipboard slips from my hands.

Someone sits next to me. The voice speaks, "The forms can wait for now." The voice places the fallen clipboard on a chair. "Can you tell me what happened to Charlie? It's important the doctor needs know how long he was out."

As soon as I hear my dad's name, I burst into tears as the voice rubs gentle circles on my back. I begin to talk through my tears. He hands me a few tissues to wipe my tears away. I begin to talk about how I found my dad on the kitchen floor. I don't know how long he had been on the floor. I had gone to the market and taken longer than I expected. I chide myself for taking so long. I began CPR and waited for the paramedics.

"You helped your dad by administering CPR."

I take a few calming breathes before looking up to the voice.

"Do you remember me?" Curiosity rings in his voice.

As I take a closer look, even with my blurred vision, I instantly recognize the paramedic to be Billy's son Jacob. I haven't seen Jacob since high school; he's a couple of years younger than me. "You're Jacob, Billy's son, I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you earlier. I'm just so worried about my dad." My voice stutters. "How long do you think it will take before I hear any news about my dad?"

"You stay here. I'll go talk to one of the staff nurses to see if I can find out anything. If you don't mind, I'd like to give my dad a call. I'm sure he would want to know about Charlie . . . would you like something to drink, water maybe . . . or some coffee?" He shrugs.

I nod my head mumbling a 'thank you' as my tears return. In worry, I've ripped my tissue to shreds. Jacob returns handing me a cup of cool water and a small box of tissues. He informs me that the nurses still don't have any information as of yet but a doctor will be out as soon as possible. Disappointed, there's nothing I can do but nod . . . and wait.

I feel so absolutely helpless after I _promised_ my dad I would take care of him. Sometime later Billy sits down next to me pulling me into his side. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and I cry again. He whispers that Charlie's a stubborn son of a bitch and I have nothing to worry about. A let a weak chuckle escape at Billy's words. While still comforting me, Billy and Jacob talk in hushed voices. I don't listen to what they are saying; my mind is bombarded with thoughts of only my dad.

I feel my adrenal crashing unable to keep my eyes open. Billy rubs soothing circles on my back as I briefly rest my eyes. I fight to keep them open but I lose the battle as my heavy eyelids close. Despite my sleep, I'm fully aware of my surroundings listening for the doctor and news. My heart pounds against my chest when I hear someone say 'Ms. Swan.' Half asleep, I jump to my feet. "I'm Ms. Swan. Is my father okay?" My adrenal returns as my entire body nervously shakes uncontrollably. Anxiously, I wait for the doctor's response and terrified by what he might tell me.

The doctor looks around at the other visitors in the waiting room. "Ms. Swan would you be more comfortable talking in my office."

"No, please just tell me how my father is doing." I cry out.

Billy and Jacob stand next to me as the doctor begins to discuss my father's condition. The only words that register are 'stabilized' 'lack of oxygen' and 'possible ischemic stroke' and 'long recovery.'

"He's being moved to ICU. You'll be able to see him as soon as he is settled in his room." The doctor looks to Billy and Jacob.

"Sorry, this is my dad's best friend Billy and his son Jacob . . . and it's Bella."

The doctor nods. "Good to meet you folks," they shake hands as the doctor continues to speak, "but please understand for right now only Bella will be allowed in his room . . . for now okay," the doctor looks to Billy and Jacob. ". . . perhaps in a day or two he can have more visitors. I just don't want to cause him any undue stress at this time."

They nod in understanding.

"But . . . but how is he? How long will he be in the hospital?"

"Bella, we don't know how long he was on the floor before you got to him . . . how long he was deprived of oxygen. Depending on the amount of time without oxygen determines the severity of his condition and recovery time. Once he's home, he is still going to have to go through more testing so we can determine exactly what to expect. You need to understand, he will never be the same again . . . both physically and mentally . . . but . . . let's wait and see." The doctor pauses. "Look, I know you don't want to hear this . . . but right now we just have to wait. And, you have to prepare yourself for what's ahead . . . for your father . . . and for you. I'll have a nurse come get you once his room is ready. We'll talk more once he's settled. There will be a lot for you to consider and I don't want to overwhelm you right now. For now, please try to rest, you're going to need it in the days to come."

"Thank you, doctor." I'm barely audible as I reach back for the support of the armchair. I sit.

Before the doctor leaves, Billy and Jacob speak to him. I look right through them. I've stopped crying. Now, I am just numb going over what the doctor just said until my thoughts go back to the conversation in the car. "_Bells when you came back to take care of me . . . after my heart attack . . . I saw how strong you were. You were this teenage kid who barged right in and took control. You took control of everything . . . the house, the cooking, school and taking care of me . . . I was so proud of you. You didn't need me Bells; I needed you. I needed you to take care of me. I'm ashamed to admit that but it's the truth." _My dad is right. I am strong, I do take control and _right now_ he needs me more than ever before. I promised him everything would be okay, that I would be here to take care of him and that is precisely what I am going to do. I am going to take control 'cause, as of right now, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do and, right now, this girl's gotta take care of her dad.

I am determined. So first things first, I pick up the clipboard loaded with medical forms and complete as much as I can before returning it to the admitting clerk. Next, I ask Billy if he would mind going over to my house and put away the groceries, pick up some toiletries for Charlie and lock up the house. Then I ask Jacob if he would mind getting me some food. Even if I don't feel like eating much right now, if I'm going to take care of dad, I'm going to need to take care of myself.

Once they leave, I take a few cleansing breaths. _I can do this, I can do this. Everything is going to be okay . . . everything is going to be okay. _My reaffirming mantra is interrupted by a nurse informing me she can take me to my dad's room now. _I can do this, I can do this. Everything is going to be okay . . . everything is going to be okay. _ I repeat the mantra on the quiet ride up the elevator, down the hall and into dad's ICU room. I stand in the doorway staring at my dad hooked up to beeping monitors and medical machinery.

The nurse is saying something but I'm not listening until I hear her say, "Talk to him. It's good for him to hear your voice."

I recall the doctor's earlier words _'He will never be the same again . . . both physically and mentally . . ._ _you have to prepare yourself for what's ahead . . . for your father . . . and for you.' _ But looking at the condition of my dad, my confidence is wavering. I'm terrified I may not be able to do this. I'm terrified I may fail him. I'm terrified I'm not strong enough . . . and I shed more tears.

After the nurse leaves, I place a chair next to his bed. I control my tears. I need him to know I am strong. I need him to know I am taking control. Slowly, my eyes survey his body from head to toe pausing at his faintly rising and falling chest. Needles and wire and surgical tape cover his motionless hand so I gently wrap my hand around his fingers. I whisper, in a shaken voice, "Dad, I'm here," but pause to control my voice. I need to sound strong even if right now I'm not. "You were right dad. I am strong . . . but right now I'm scared too. I'm really scared. I need my dad . . . I need my dad to be strong . . . to fight." I pause, "Billy said you were a stubborn son of bitch . . . that I have nothing to worry about . . . I know you won't let this get you . . . Billy's right. I just need you to fight this okay," my pleading voice not quite a whisper now, "If you do, I promise I won't scold you about the hidden pizza boxes I saw out back . . . did you think I wouldn't see them? Good thing you're a cop because you'd fail as a criminal you know that." I let out a small laugh. "Do you promise to try?" I pause for a moment as if he can answer me. "You don't have to answer me right now. I know how you are a man of few words but try okay . . . just try . . . for me."

I'm quiet as I leave my hand wrapped around his fingers while I rest my head near his shoulder. I close my eyes softly whispering my mantra that _everything will be okay_. The nurse returns informing me that two men are waiting for me at the nurse's station. I kiss dad on the forehead, something I rarely ever did, but somehow the daughterly kiss feels so nature. "I'll be right back. Billy's here."

"How's he doing Bella?" Nothing but worry crosses Billy's face.

I take a deep breath, "No news yet other than he's stabilized for now."

"I grabbed some stuff from the bathroom. I hope it's what you wanted. I got the groceries put away, and locked up the house for you."

I thank Billy as Jacob hands me a delicious smelling bag of food and drink. "I hope a cheeseburger and fries are okay. They're from the diner." He smiles. "Best burgers in town."

Just then, my stomach grumbles. I look up embarrassed. "Thanks, that's fine. I guess I am hungry." I laugh.

"Oh, I almost forgot Bella. I hope you don't mind. I brought your cellphone . . . well, I'm assuming it's your . . . it's too sophisticated for Charlie. Anyway, it kept ringing while I was at the house. I figured you might need it and here's the extra house key. I didn't know if you had your key on you."

"If you want, I can enter my cell phone number and my dad's landline into your phone. That way if you need anything, anything at all, you'll be able to reach one of us." Jacob offers.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." I hand him my phone; he quickly enters the phone numbers then returns the phone. My cellphone . . . I had forgotten my cellphone . . . my cellphone that kept ringing. As Billy continues to talk, I glance at all the missed calls and texts from Edward and Esme and Alice. I switch the phone to vibrate sliding it into my back pocket. Anxious to get back to dad's room and check my messages, I tell Billy I will call him as soon as I hear any news. I tell him I'll call the station and let them know what has happened to Charlie.

Jacob laughs. "Bella, this is a pretty small town or don't you remember. The guys at the station heard the 9-1-1 call. If you want, I can head down there and give them an update. I know they would appreciate it."

"Thanks that would be great." I look back toward my dad's room. "I appreciate all your help but I really do need to get back in there." I tilt me head in direction of the hospital room. "Who knows . . . if he wakes up he might start pulling out all those damn wires they got him hooked up to." I laugh half-heartedly. I give Billy and Jacob a goodbye hug.

Back in the room, I'm anxious. I don't know what to do. Despite my hunger, I put my food on the hospital tray pushing it as far from Charlie's bed as possible. I kiss dad's forehead telling him I'm back. "You have some good friends. Billy took care of the house and Jacob got me a burger and fries to tide me over. If you don't mind, I'm going to sit right over there and eat." I lean towards dad. "What? What's that? You want a bite? Nope, not happening mister, from now on it's only healthy foods for you."

My attempt to lighten my mood and joke at the enormity of the situation fails as I feel myself begin to cry. My body shakes as I hang my head in my hands. I'm a horrible person. How could make a joke like that especially at a time like this? I'm such a pathetic excuse of a person and daughter. I wrap my hand around dad's fingers begging his forgiveness for my callous remark. "I'm so sorry dad. Please forgive," I mutter. "I'm scared. I'm scared I'm not strong enough. I need you to wake up and tell me I can do this . . . that I'm strong enough to help you." My breath stutters. "Tell me you know I'm here dad. Please, tell me you know I'm here." My voice falters to a mere whisper, "Please tell me you know I'm here."

Under my hand, I feel a slight flutter; his little finger twitches. My head shots up; I'm breathless afraid to move my hand afraid to break our connection. I lean near his ear, "Please dad. Please tell me you know I'm here." And, I wait as my heart beats against my chest. I wait what I know feels like an eternity and there it is again a butterfly of a touch. And for the first time today, I cry happy tears. Now I know I'm strong enough to do this.

I kiss dad on the forehead and tell him I'll be right back. I tell the nurse about the slight movements. I follow her back to the room as she surveys the monitor. She tells me to keep talking to him and to let her know of any further movement. She tells me 'good job' and leaves with a wink.

Suddenly, I'm hungry as my stomach grumbles loudly. This time I eat without guilt. Half way through my burger, I can't eat another bite. I throw the leftovers in a hallway trashcan. I don't want any smell of food to linger in the room. After washing my hands, I return to dad's side resting my head near his shoulder and returning my hand to his fingers. I murmur how I'm happy we had a chance to clear up all of our misunderstandings. I reassure him that everything is going to be okay. I'm going to take care of him.

In the distance, I hear my name and then a gentle hand on my shoulder. I move my head toward the male voice calling my name but my neck is stiff. I can't remember falling asleep. I rub the soreness of my neck as I look out the window. It's nighttime. As I slowly stand stretching my aching body, I watch my dad the peer at the monitors. I don't know what I'm reading on the monitors but I watch them anyway.

"I know there's no point in telling you to go home and get some sleep so I had them bring in a small cot for you. There's a blanket and pillow too. It's better than waking up tomorrow with stiff neck and sore back." The doctor checks my dad and reads the monitor before making some notations.

"How does he look," I ask through a croaky voice. "Did the nurse tell you he had some slight movement earlier?"

"Yes, she did. Now it's very late. Get some rest. We'll keep an eye on him."

I use the bathroom, take off my shoes and lay on the small cot. The doctor is right. It's not very comfortable but feels a lot better than sleeping like a pretzel in that chair. I toss and turn trying to get comfortable. As I begin to relax, my mind finally wonders to Edward when I feel my cellphone in my back pocket. I pull my phone out seeing my screen covered with text after text from Edward. I see over 48 messages in my text box along with almost as many missed calls.

On my screen, I can read the last three texts without opening my phone. The most recent text sent a mere fifteen minutes ago reads _Bella baby please you're scaring me please call me ASAP please baby are you okay I'm worried I love you Edward. _The previous two texts are similar and have been sent within the last half hour. My hand shakes as my phone vibrates with a new text message _Bella my break is over I've got to go but please please please call me as soon as you can – I love you – your Edward._

I clutch my phone close to my heart as I feel my body begin to tremble as it tries to hold back my tears aching for release. I know I'm losing the battle so I grab my pillow covering my mouth as I muffle painful cries. My dad can't hear my cries. I cry silent cries. My body shakes as I force my tears to stop. Through blurred teary eyes I watch my father lay in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and monitors and I know. . . I know I can't leave him. I won't leave him. I promised. He has no one else but me. He needs me. Dropping my head to the pillow covering myself with the thin hospital blanket, I am resolved. I know what needs to be done as I silently cry myself to sleep.

The sound of the monitors and hushed voices wake me. I watch as one of the nurses checks that dad is comfortable while the other reads the monitor and checks his medications. I sit up my head aching from the stress. I rub my eyes; they feel swollen from last night's cry. "How's he doing this morning?" I ask as I sit up. My voice is hoarse from sleep.

"He's stable. The doctor should be here in an hour or so." She turns to face me as a look of concern spreads across her face. "Oh sweetie, how are _you_ doing?"

And the floodgates open. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean to cry. I thought I cried it all out last night . . . I'm just so . . ." My lips quiver as I attempt to smile. I make my way to the bathroom just in time to empty last night's burger. My stomach is tight from all this stress. I wash my face and brush my teeth with my finger.

"Feeling better?"

I just nod taking my place next to my dad. I kiss his forehead and take hold his fingers. I ask him how he's doing not expecting him to answer but hoping I feel any type of movement.

The doctor continues his diagnosis and prognosis for recovery, "he will need round the clock care Bella, at least for now . . . you won't be able to do this all on your own . . . you will need some help . . . one option may be a nurse daycare provider to help or . . . or you can place him in a facility Of course, that is an expensive option . . ."

I take notes but I'm too overwhelmed, it's too much to take all at once. "Will he improve or . . . or is he going to be like this for the rest of his life?"

"Like I said yesterday, he will be going through a number of tests once he is released from the hospital. Once I have the results, I will be able to provide you with more specific information."

As the doctor continues his examination, I feel my phone vibrate. My entire body tenses. I know it's Edward. My heart races at just thought of hearing his voice I know will be filled with love and worry. I know I will falter if I talk to him . . . I'm not strong enough when it comes to Edward. I'll want to race back into his arms . . . but I can't leave . . . maybe ever. And, he has his entire life planned out. If I hear his voice, I will shatter into a million pieces; without him I'll never be whole again. Who am I fooling? He is my other half, I'm incomplete without him. I'll never be whole again. So, I take the coward's way out. I do what is inevitable. I am resolved. I text two words that will free him to have the life he planned. I text _it's over_.

**A/N: Well there it is. I would love, love, love to hear what you think. If you read this chapter, please make me happy and send a review! The last chapter had 1.9K readers but only 4 reviews. Show the love please.**


	34. Chapter 34 Giving Up on Love

**A/N: Okay, so some of you loved how the last chapter ended and some of you are really angry with Bella and me right about now. For those of you not happy with the direction of the story or Bella's behavior, just remember she is under a lot of stress and may not be thinking clearly. Sometimes people in love make really stupid decisions thinking they're doing what's right for everyone involved, being noble and all that. As far as Charlie's relapse, that was always going to be part of my story; there were a few hints here and there. I have the story outlined and know exactly how it's going to end. For a brief moment, I thought about changing the story to appease some readers but changed my mind. This is my story and I need for it to end the way I originally planned. I hope you'll stick with me. BTW, this chapter goes back and forth between Edward and Bella and it is gonna be another rough one folks. Let the angst begin. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Mr. Astley or any of his songs. I also do not own or take credit for any mention of any or all of the pop culture, especially Penny and Sheldon. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 34 "Giving Up on Love"**

**EPoV**

I slip off my hospital scrubs and change into a t-shirt and flannel bottoms. I'm still not use to sleeping during the day but find some comfort sleeping in Bella's room while she gone. I pace the room before settling in front of the window staring out at the grey Seattle skyline. I open it slightly to enjoy the cool morning air before reaching for my cell phone. Glancing at the phone, I realize I've lost count the number of time I called Bella yesterday before, during and after my shift. She told me she was tired; I hope she's feeling okay, not sick or anything. I worry that I haven't gotten one single text back from her. That's just not like her not to respond with some off- colored comeback one-liner. I'm exhausted from last night's shift but I'm more worried about my girl. I can't go to sleep until I know she's okay . . . until I hear from her . . . a call . . . a text . . . anything. Maybe she dropped her phone or lost it. Thank goodness my interfering sister Alice had the foresight to include Bella's contact information in my phone. I call her father's home number a couple of times but each time there is no answer; I don't leave a voice message. A bit desperate I call the Fork's police station even though I know her dad's on vacation. As I suspect, someone informs me that he is not in today.

At last, my phone finally pings announcing a text message. I exhale an exasperated breathe I'm unaware I'd been holding. I pray the text is from Bella. My head drops down, my heart pounds, I focus on the cell phone screen. From the lack of sleep, my eyes are tired and, ever so briefly, the words are a slight blur. Blinking a few times to focus on the screen, I read _it's over. _The text is from Bella. Her name clearly spread across the screen just above the blue text bubble with the words _it's over. _At the instant, my entire world stops. You know like those movies where the character stops while everything inexplicably hangs in the air. I stare at the words dumbfounded, perplexed. My brow furrows in confusion. What does she mean _it's over? _I don't understand what's over? Shaking my head side to side, I reread the words _it's over_ trying to comprehend the meaning of these seemingly simple words. I know what these words mean but what I don't understand is what they mean to me and Bella. In disbelief, I reconfirm Bella's name above the words _it's over. _

"What is she talking about _it's over?"_ I voice loudly. "What's over? Not us, we're not over . . . what the fuck is going on." The volume of my voice grows louder.

She just sent this text; her phone must still be in her hand. I immediately call her. "Something is wrong. I don't understand." The phone rings and rings. "Answer your phone Bella . . . damn it . . . answer your phone Bella . . . I know you're there," I yell in between rings; I yell to her. "Bella, please baby, answer your phone," My yells morph into murmurs as my call goes to voicemail. "Please baby, answer your phone . . . I need you . . ." I inhale a sharp breath, "I need you to call me . . . Bella . . . please, don't do this to us," I plead, ". . . to you . . . and to me . . . please . . . what's happened . . . "

Ending the call, I stare shocked at her words denying the true meaning of _it's over_. I can't fathom what has happened to make her send that text. I can't think clearly; my mind is racing with thought after thought colliding not making any sense. _I know we are not over. I know something is not right . . . What could have changed in the past two days? Something is not right . . . . . No! Something is terribly wrong . . . She wouldn't do this to us . . . I know she wouldn't do this to us. I know it . . . we are real, this thing between us is real. She promised. Over and over she promised she would be back. Did she lie . . . but she left her ring . . . her ring that meant everything to her . . . wait, is that why she left the ring?" _

"Her note, she said to read her note later." _Was she planning this all along? No I don't believe it. _Frightened by what I might read, my heart pounds. _Was she trying to tell me something . . . something she was too afraid to say face to face?_ _No, she loves me. She knows how much I love her . . . I saw . . . her eyes . . . I saw the love in her eyes . . ._

My heart beats harder against my chest as I stand in front of the bureau. I look down at the folded note; a note that may hold my fate. Hesitating for a slight moment, fearful of what I may read, I take the folded paper into my trembling hands and unfold the note.

Edward,

If you are reading this note, I assume you can't take much more and you are missing me almost as much as I'm missing you. I'm missing the way you make my heart skip a beat when you walk into a room. I'm missing your smile and your beautiful eyes. I'm missing the silly Ricky Astley love songs that linger in the air when we make love. I'm missing your voice when you whisper sweet nothings in my ear and the way your breath tickles me. I'm missing your cocky smirk when you know I can't wait another second to feel you deep inside me. I'm missing the way your loving eyes darken when you can't wait another minute to be inside of me. I'm missing our cosmic electric connection when we touch, your scent, your arms and legs holding me after we make love . . . I'm missing how we fit so perfectly together . . . I'm just missing you so, so much.

I know you didn't want me to go but, I promise you my Edward, with all my heart and all my soul, I will come back to you and when I come back I am never leaving you again until you ask me to leave . . . and even then I may not go. I'm just not whole without you. You are my Sheldon and I am your Penny. You are my other half. You are what I have been missing my entire life. You are my life . . . you are my home.

Your Bella

Aka Penny

P.S. So, this is the first time I've ever written a love letter. How did I do? Too mushy? Should I have included some "dirty talk" to tide you over until I get back? Wink wink.

I'll be home soon. I promise. I love you . . . forever.

My entire being trembles at her written words. My legs falter dropping me to the edge of Bella's bed. Assailed by her lingering scent, I am acutely aware of her presence everywhere in this bedroom. A shaky hand trances small circles along the surface of her quilt while my eyes fix on the other shaky desperately clinging to her words . . . . her promises. I reread her letter attempting to make sense of it all . . . of her text . . . of her letter . . . of her promise of forever. She was coming back to me; no, she _is_ coming back to me. Now more than ever I'm convinced that something is definitely wrong. Folding her letter, I stuff it in my pocket. Taking my phone into my calming hand, I call again waiting for her to answer ending the call when it goes to voicemail.

_**BPoV**_

Cowering in the corner, I fix on the vibrating phone in my hand. _I am a coward. Plain and simple, I am a pathetic loser coward. Who breaks up with the love of her life via text? I do that's who. I'm a pathetic loser coward and everything in between . . . but I'm afraid. I'm so afraid right now. I don't know what to do. I __**know**__ what needs to be done but . . . I don't know what to do. I promised my dad . . . but I promised Edward too . . . and what about me? I'm so confused. Edward, I need you so much right now. _ I see Edward's name and his beautiful face on the screen, despite the promise of no more crying, I allow silent tears to stream down my face. I take stuttered breathes as I feel my broken heart shatter into millions of pieces.

My phone stops vibrating and I watch as a voicemail notification appears on the screen. The doctor begins to speak. For a few moments, I had forgotten he was in the room; I'd forgotten I was in my dad's hospital room waiting for him to wake up. Discreetly, I wipe the tears away while still staring at Edward's name on my phone. I drop it in my pocket turning to give the doctor my full attention. As the doctor speaks, I glance between my father and the doctor. I concentrate on my dad's prognosis occasionally wiping a tear away. His words lay heavy on my shattering heart. I take in a few stuttered breaths as I nod acknowledging I understand what I can expect for my dad's recovery. The doctor continues to talks about my options for dad's long term care and recovery but, more importantly what needs to be done for his immediate care once he is released. I stop listening when my phone vibrates again in my pocket. I don't need to look to know the calls from Edward. The tears return as I ignore the call. The doctor lays a gentle hand to my arm reassuring me that everything will be fine. My phone doesn't vibrate again; he doesn't leave another voice message.

"I'll be back later this afternoon. If you can, try to get some rest, you look exhausted. Maybe go home for a while, he'll be fine. The nurses will look after him. Go take a nap or a shower, eat something, put on a fresh change of clothes. You'll feel better. You're not going to do him any good," tilting in dad's direction, "if you don't take care of yourself first."

"I'll be fine . . . thank you doctor." I whisper as he exits the room. "I'll be fine." I try to reassure myself that everything will be fine more as I strategically move the plastic hospital chair close to dad's bed. I lay my head near his shoulder placing one hand on his arm careful not to touch any of the wires and intravenous needles piercing him while my other hand rests on my cell phone. I close my eyes listening to the rhythmic sounds of the monitor's beeping. The sound of the beeping becomes secondary to the whispers of my mantra that I am strong . . . that I can handle everything on my own like I've always done . . . that everything will be fine without Edward in my life . . . that I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life. As I consider what is ahead for me, I'm fully aware that my phone has stopped vibrating. That Edward has stopped calling.

**EPoV**

Standing in the middle of Bella's room, I look around and do something I never thought I would ever do during my entire medical residency. I scan my contacts for the number, hit send and I lie. I call in sick for tonight's shift. I am going to see Bella and I am going to see her right now. I'm going to get some answers. Something is terribly, terribly wrong. I can feel it with every fiber of my being. Whether she likes it or not, if she refuses to answer my calls, well then, I'm going to have to talk to her face to face. I'm going to Forks right now.

I need to wash away my exhaustion. I jump in the shower and change my clothes. I place her letter in my shirt pocket with a reassuring double pat before heading downstairs. If I'm going to be driving for four or more hours I'm going to need some strong coffee. In the kitchen, mom is searching something on the internet as dad reviews his copy of JAMA. Despite my worry, I smile as they sit together in comfortable silence. This is what I want with Bella and I'll be damned if she thinks this is over.

Keeping her eyes locked on the laptop screen, mom asks, "Why are you still up baby boy? I thought you were going to sleep. Are you hungry? You want me to make you something to eat before you go to bed? I can whip you up an omelet or some pancakes."

"No thanks mom," I mumble as I continue to open and close the cupboard doors in search of larger tumbler.

"Honey, what are you looking for?" Mom asks as she turns to me. "I might be able to help you out."

"Do you have a larger tumbler than this one?" I wave the tumbler in the air.

"No, sorry honey they're all about the same size as that one." Mom goes back to typing on her laptop. "You're not thinking of drinking coffee right now are you?" Mom's voice rises in surprise. "You won't be able to sleep baby boy. You know what a light weight you are when it comes to caffine." She giggles.

With sarcasm and irritation dripping from my voice, I loudly answer, "That's the point mother. I need the coffee to stay awake." Instantly, I feel guilty speaking to her like that. I've never spoken so rudely to my mother. I'm ashamed.

"Edward!" Dad's head shoots up as he puts his journal down. "I understand the stress you're going through right now son and how exhausted you must be feeling but do not ever talk to your mother like that again. Apologize to her right now."

Dad's never raised his voice to me. He's never needed to until now. He's right. I shouldn't have taken my anger and my worry out on my mother. I look to her as tears well in her eyes.

I kneel down next to mom as she lets the tears fall. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you mom. Please forgive me. Dad's right. I'm just under a lot of stress right now. I'm really sorry. You have my word it will never happen again." I reassure her as I wipe the tears away with my thumb. "I love you mom."

She gives me a weak smile and nod. "I love you too my baby boy. It's okay. Remember I'm a doctor's wife. I recall many a day when your dad came home tired and grouchy but I knew just how to take care for him." Her tears are gone as she turns to dad with a wicked smile and arched brow.

"That's enough Esme!" Dad whispers through tighten lips as his cheeks blush pink. "Edward does not need to hear that." Embarrassed, he clears his throat and returns to fake reading his journal.

Mom laughs, "Oh honey," as she waves him off, "he's probably not even stressed from work. It's more likely he's missing his girl." Now mom turns to me. "Have you talked to her today son?"

Frowning, I shake my head no trying to plaster on a fake smile.

"Well there you go. Why don't you go upstairs and give her a call. You're irritable because you miss her. Have some phone sex." Suggestively, she wiggles her brows at me as dad groans. "That's all it is. Go call her . . . you'll feel better. Then get some sleep."

Instead of going up stairs, I silently take the seat next to mom. I open my text messages and slide the phone across the table for her to read.

Quizzically, she looks at the phone and then to me. "Read it," I whisper.

She doesn't pick up the phone but I know she has read the message. Her quizzical expression morphs into pain. "What does she mean it's over Edward?"

My voice is barely a murmur, "I don't know mom that's why I'm going to Forks. She's not answering her phone or my texts. I don't know what's going on with her . . . but something is wrong mom. I know it. She was fine the day before yesterday . . . and now it's over. It just doesn't make sense."

Dad joins in the hushed conversation. "When are you going to Forks Edward? Aren't you on the rotation schedule tonight?"

"I called in sick. I'm not going in tonight. I'm going to Forks to get this straightened out. That's why I needed the large coffee tumbler. I'm leaving right now. I'll sleep when I get back."

The shocked look on both my parent's faces tells me they understand how determined I am to speak with Bella.

"Edward, you can't drive four hours to Forks after working an all-nighter! You might fall asleep at the wheel. I won't let you." Mom worries. "I'll drive you to Forks but you are not," she emphasizes each word, "I repeat you are not driving alone. I won't allow it. Bella or no Bella, you are not going alone, it's too dangerous in your condition."

"Mom I'll be fine," I say as I get up to pour myself some coffee. "My adrenal alone will keep me awake."

Dad places his calming hand on mom's arm to silence her. "Esme, you are not driving Edward. I _will_ take my son to Forks. I'll make sure he sleeps on the way."

"But . . ." mom tries to protest. "But . . ."

"No. Esme I love you sweetheart but, if you go with Edward, he won't get a word in edgewise. You'll try to fix this . . . whatever it is . . . for him . . . for them and, apparently," dad looks to me, "this is something that only Edward and Bella can fix." He nods to me for confirmation. "Now, I'm going to go upstairs and grab my jacket. I'd appreciate if you would fix me one of those tumblers of coffee and maybe a couple of sandwiches for the road." Dad makes his way upstairs as mom sits in silence. _Dad has always been so strong in a gentle quiet way._

"Honey, what happened?" Mom asks as she prepares dad's food.

"I don't know mom but something wrong." I inhale deeply to steady my words. "Something is terribly wrong. I feel like she's running away from me and I don't know why. I'm going crazy here. I need to see her."

I see mom's shoulders begin to shake. She's crying. I wrap my arms around her in comfort. She turns into me placing her head on my chest. She whispers, "Bring our girl home Edward. Whatever is wrong we will fix together. We're her family now." Mom catches her breath. "Maybe she just needs a little reminding of that fact."

I hear dad's footsteps. "Are you ready to go son?"

I nod.

"Do you have her father's home address?"

I nod again. "I have the address but I need to look it up the directions on GPS. Let's get going."

Dad gives mom a tight hug, whispers words of encouragement and a kiss goodbye before taking the coffee and sandwiches.

"There's a couple for Edward. Make sure he eats," mom orders.

I give mom a goodbye hug and reassure her that I'll bring our girl home. She gives me a weak sad smile. Dad and I pile into the car as mom looks on from the porch. She waves goodbye calling out to be careful and call her as soon as possible.

As soon as we hit the road, dad orders me to sleep per his promise to mom. I don't fight him; I'm exhausted. I recline my seat and shut my eyes. I dream of Bella. Sometime later I wake but my body still craves sleep.

"You doing okay son?"

My voice is groggy thick with sleep. "I'm okay. How long was I out?" I ask as I take a sip of my still hot coffee.

"Not too long, an hour or so." Dad pauses. "You know I never realized how much you talk in your sleep. First the plane and now in the car, you have some very interesting dreams," he smirks.

"What did I say this time?" I groan as I continue sipping my coffee.

"Nope not telling. I'm still saving them for a rainy day. So, do you want to talk about it?" He asks as he bites into his sandwich listening as I talk.

_**BPoV**_

My head rest near dad's as I whisper for him to wake up. I hadn't answered my phone when Edward called earlier but I still hold onto it as my lifeline. It doesn't ring anymore. He's stopped calling and texting. It's better for him this way.

The rest of the morning is quiet, uneventful except for the slightest of twitches of his right hand. Billy and Jacob come to visit dad. Jacob stays near the door as Billy moves closer to dad's bed. I offer my chair to Billy needing to stretch my legs.

"Bella, I know girls don't like to hear this but you look terrible. You're too pale." Billy jokes. "Please, let Jacob take you home for a few hours to rest and get something to eat. I'll stay with the old man for a while. I promise to call you if there is any change. Now go." Billy turns to Jacob still at the door. "Jake, you don't mind taking her home do you?"

A shower and a change of clothes do sound appealing. I turn to Jacob, "Are you sure it wouldn't be an imposition Jacob? I don't want to put you out."

"I'm at your service miss." He stands at attention and salutes.

"Thank you Billy. I promise I'll be quick. I'll be back within hour at the most. I promise." I lean down kissing dad on the forehead.

"Oh, no you don't Bella take your time. Take a few hours for yourself . . . rest, take a nap. If your old man gets on my nerves, I'll flip on the television. Now go."

"Thank you Billy. You have my cell phone number right? In case you need to get in touch with me."

He nods.

"I won't be long." I take one last look at dad before following Jacob out of the room.

I yawn a few times on the ride home and Jacob laughs each time.

"My dad was right. You are exhausted. I'm going to drop you off and I'll be back to pick you up around two if that's okay with you."

I check the time on my silent phone. "Two is perfect. Thanks Jacob. I really appreciate all your help."

Once home, I head straight for the bathroom making it in just enough time to empty my stomach. I'm stressed; my stomach is in nervous knots. My entire body aches. I hop into the shower letting the water wash away my stressful, anxious tears. I weep until the warm water turns ice cold. Quickly, I dress in _our_ hoodie and comfortable sweatpants wishing our hoodie smelled of Edward. I dry my hair before pulling it into a high ponytail. Setting the alarm on my phone for ninety minutes, I'm out for the count before my head hits the pillow. I think I have a vivid dream of Edward, of him scolding me for not answering my phone, but I'm not sure as my body stretches to the sound of the alarm. I'm still groggy as I make my way to the kitchen. I make myself something to eat and prepare a small meal to take back to the hospital. As promised, Jacob is here by two o'clock to take me back to the hospital. I set my stuff near the door just as he knocks.

"Come in Jacob you're right on time. I'm just checking that I have everything I need. Give me a second." I ask as I double check I have my phone charger and laptop.

"Take your time Bella, I'm in no hurry. If you don't mind me saying, you do look a lot better."

"Thanks, your dad was right. I guess I did need some time away from the hospital." I say as I gather my things and head out the door.

"Let me carry your stuff to the car." Jacob offers.

"Thanks but don't be silly Jacob. My laptop isn't heavy." I say as it begins to slip off my shoulder.

Jacob grabs it in time to stop it from hit the ground. "Not heavy huh? Give it here." He orders.

I surrender the laptop as he swings it over his shoulder. I lock the door and make my way down the stairs. I stand near Jacob as he places my laptop and small backpack in the back seat. He is just about to open the front passenger door when I hear an approaching car. My eyes follow the familiar car as it pulls up along the curb. I quickly look to Jacob wondering if he can hear the pounding of my heart as the familiar car's passenger door opens and closes. I'm frozen in my spot. I don't look towards the car. I can't move as I hear the approaching footsteps. The pounding moves to my ears. Jacob asks if I know the man walking in our direction. I don't answer. The footsteps stop next to me.

"Bella, who the fuck is this?" Disdain drips off every word.

"Edward," I can barely speak his name afraid to look into his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He steps closer as the venom in his voice repeats, "I said who the fuck is this?"

**A/N: This is my interpretation of the forest scene in **_**New Moon **_**when Edward leaves Bella. Love it or hate it either way let me know what you think. I'm a big girl I can take it I think.**


	35. Chapter 35 Love Has Gone

**A/N:** Truly appreciate the love for the last chapter. The angst will continue for the next two chapters. Some readers may be none too happy with Bella but, to me, that means you are invested in my story and the characters. I couldn't ask for anything more. Lastly, I'm sorry for the delay but busier with new semester than I thought. All my mistakes are mine, not beta'd.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80s pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs. Sadly, no dibs on Penny and Sheldon either. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

**Chapter 35 "Love Has Gone"**

_**BPoV**_

"Bella who the fuck is this?" Disdain drips off every word as Edward utters every angry word.

"Edward," I can barely speak his name afraid to look into his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He steps closer as the venom in his voice repeats, "I said who the fuck is this?"

_What is he doing here? Never in a thousand years had I thought he would come all the way to Forks. I can't breathe. My chest hurts; my heart is beating so hard. I'm deaf from the blood flooding in my ears. He's angry, I mean really angry but, boy oh boy he looks sexy hot right about now. No, no, no, what the heck am I saying? I haven't even looked at him yet; I can't trust myself right now. I'm too scared, frightened. I can't think straight. I want to drag him into the house and show him how much I've missed him but . . . but I can't . . . yeah, I can one last time for old time sake. What am I thinking? I'm not thinking. I can't think; my thoughts are going every which way. I can't think straight. I need to calm down. I can't let him see . . . I can't let him know. _

His voice raises an octave, "Bella answer me right now. For the last time who the fuck is this guy?"

Ever the coward now, I refuse to look in Edward's direction ignoring his demanding voice. Instead, I lock my eyes with Jacob. He blinks, his brow furrows; a flash of confusion in his expression as he identifies my panic. Telepathically, I attempt to send him a message not to mention anything about my dad_. _Ever so discreetly, I shake my head side to side but I fail. There's only worry in his confused eyes and concerned face.

Jacob finally breaks our connection turning to Edward's angry direction. Edward stubbornly refuses to break _his_ locked glare on me. He stretches his hand out to Edward. "I'm Jacob Black. I'm a friend of Bella's dad. And you are?" By the tone of Jacob's voice, it's obvious he is trying to defuse this possibly volatile situation.

My eyes remain fixed on Jacob as he speaks; ever the coward, I won't look in Edward's direction. Edward's eyes remain fixed on me, stabbing my sorrowful soul with his angry stare. I am a statue frozen in time by his piercing glare. My tired pale skin flushes rubicund. He ignores Jacob's attempts at an introduction.

Edward's voice is now cold, controlling . . . chilling as he begins to speak. I am more frightened now of this eerie calm.

His stare is as cold as his icy voice. "Well Jacob Black, if you would be so kind as to excuse Bella _and_ me. _We_ have a few matters to discuss . . . in private. Isn't that right Bella? Don't we have some matters to discuss . . . in private?" He emphasizes the word private again.

Jacob interrupts, "I'm sorry Edward but I promised to get Bella back to the . . ."

I melt at Jacob's words broken from my frozen state. I can't let him say another word or anything to Edward about my dad's medical condition.

"No," I nervously shout, "No, no it's all right Jacob. I'll talk to Edward . . . in private. Would you mind waiting for me in the car. This shouldn't take too . . ."

"You don't need to stick around and wait for Bella. We'll be here for a while. We've got lots to discuss. I'm sure you have something better to do with your time than hang around here especially when Bella's _boyfriend_ is here to take her anyplace she needs to go."

"Thanks Jacob," I whisper, "you don't have to wait . . . I'll . . . um, I'll call you later okay."

Jacob looks between me and Edward and back to me. "Are you sure Bella? I don't mind waiting."

Edward speaks up before I can open my mouth, "She sure Jacob. Goodbye Jacob." His cold demeanor is decisive.

Jacob retrieves my laptop and backpack from the car but before I can take them Edward's arm reaches out and grabs them; he flings them over his shoulder. Jacob gives me one last worried look as he backs out and drives away. My buffer is gone. I don't know where to look, what to do, what to say but, sadly, I know what I need to do. I need to lie . . . to break the heart of the most beautiful man I've ever met . . . I'll ever know. I can't leave my dad. If I tell Edward the truth, I know without a doubt he'll offer to stay here with me and I _am not_ going to let him ruin his career for me.

Edward is still in my peripheral. I am still too nervous to look into his eyes, into his angry face but . . . but it's now or never. I put my game face on. Angrily, I look to Edward and notice he hasn't come alone. A worried Carlisle stands against the passenger's door. His face winces as I take a double look in his direction.

Always the diplomat, Carlisle calmly speaks, "Hello Bella, it's good to see you again."

I'm even more ashamed of my cowardly behavior. I can't look him in the eye as I struggle to maintain an angry facade. I simply nod, "Carlisle," and look back into Edward's eyes.

"Edward, since I'm in the neighborhood, I think I'll go check on the cabin . . . maybe stop by to see Gerandy . . . just give me a call when you're," Carlisle hesitates, ". . . when you're ready to go."

Edward nods and Carlisle leaves giving us one last concerned look before he drives away.

"I don't know what you're doing here Edward. I sent you a text. I think it was fairly self- explanatory. Didn't you get it?" I hiss as I make my way back to the house stomping up the stairs. I feel him following close behind. My voice is steady but my hands are shaking; I use my body to conceal my unsteady hands as I unlock the door.

**EPoV**

_Without a doubt, I know more than ever that the woman standing in front of me is not my Bella. I know something is wrong and I'm not leaving here until I find out what it is. _

Uninvited, I enter her father's home. Without looking back, she hangs her keys on a latch and drops her laptop and backpack near the door. Silently, she walks into the living room. Tense, she stands with her back to me. I stop directly behind her, wrap my arms around her body resting my chin on her head. Instantaneously, her body molds to mine. _My_ Bella is back. "Please baby, tell me what's wrong," I whisper into her hair. At my words, her body tenses and her shoulders straighten as she attempts to struggle out of my arms. But, just as stubbornly, I hold onto her knowing she needs me.

It's the first time I've been in Bella's home. She is supposed to be visiting her father but he is nowhere to be seen. "Is your father home?"

For some reason, my question gives her the strength to pull out of my arms. Defiantly, she stares into my eyes.

"No, Edward, my father is not home right now. Now what are you doing here? I have somewhere important to be and I seriously don't have time for you . . . this."

She attempts to control her cavalier voice which further confirms that something is not right.

"Why did you come here? I thought my text was pretty clear; it's over Edward. What part of that don't you understand?" There's exasperation in her voice but her eyes give her away.

"You want to know why I came here Bella," I point my finger in direction of her chest, "I came here because you're lying to me . . . you're lying . . . I know _you_ and I know something is wrong . . . and I want to know what it is." My voice gets louder with each word as tears teeter on the rims of her eyes. "And, I don't care what you say; it is not over." My chest heaves. "If it is over, then why are you about to cry?" I challenge.

"I'm about to cry because I'm frustrated. I sent you a text because I didn't want to go through all this," she waves her arms, ". . . all this breakup drama. I _was _going to cry because I'm mad." Angrily, she wipes the tears away. "I cry when I'm angry. Did you know that Edward," sarcasm fills her voice. "No you didn't know that because _you_ don't know me at all Edward. That's why I _was_ going to cry but now I'm _not_ going to cry. Now please just leave. Go home." Her voice falters. "Just go home Edward . . . please Edward, just go home."

Yelling at Bella isn't going to help this situation so I take a few calming breaths before I speak. "Bella, I'm not going home. Stop trying to push me away. I know you're lying," she tries to interrupt but I put my hand up to stop her. "I know you're lying." Reaching into my pocket, she recognizes her love letter and momentarily her façade wavers. "If it's really over Bella, then why did you leave me this?" I hand her the letter and watch as she scans her written promises. 'Edward, If you are reading this note, I assume you can't take much more and you are missing me almost as much as I'm missing you . . . You are my other half. You are what I have been missing my entire life. You are my life . . . you are my home.'

She sits down on the recliner holding her letter; her eyes focus on an irrelevant spot on the floor. I can see the wheels in her head spinning. She's trying to think up another lie, a reasonable response to my question. "Honestly, Edward, when I wrote that letter I meant every word of it but . . . but I realized . . . something . . ."

"Enlighten me Bella. What have you realized in the last _two_ days?" I spit in contempt.

_**BPoV**_

My eyes narrow at his sarcasm. "I've realized that there are still so many things I want to do . . . and see. I want to go to Europe . . . maybe live there for a few years . . . maybe teach at an American school while I'm there . . . I have my teaching credentials . . . and after that I might go to Asia . . . or zip line in Hawaii. I don't know. I don't have my life all planned out like you do Edward." I spit. "I know I sound like selfish child but . . . but this is _my_ life," I emphasize, "and I am going to live it the way _I_ want." The more I lie the louder my voice becomes. I rise from the recliner and stand in the middle of the living room staring into his eyes. _I hate seeing the confusion in his eyes._

He stares at me in disbelief. I can see that he is starting to believe me . . . believe the lies. "You talk about getting a place for you and me . . . but being away from you has given me time to reassess my like. I don't want to settle down yet. If I went back to Seattle and moved in with you, I would be trapped again. I wouldn't be able to leave. I don't think I want to be stuck in Seattle the rest of my life. I would be miserable . . . and eventually I would make you miserable. That life you have planned . . . that's _your_ plan Edward and it's wonderful for you . . . but it's not for me." I voice as convincing as possible.

"Bella, if you don't want to move in together when you get back home then fine, we don't have to move in together right away. We'll wait. We can keep things the way they are until you're ready. I never meant to make you feel trapped." He sounds apologetic and I feel guilt.

"Edward, you're not listening to me. I'm not going back home . . . I mean I'm not going back to Seattle." I'm frustrated at his refusal to listen to what I am saying to listen to my lies. "Edward, you've only just started your medical residency. You have years ahead of you before you're established. You're going to always busy at the hospital; it's your life. Even now, when you're not at the hospital you're either reviewing notes or sleeping. I respect your dedication to your career. I really do. I respect that you've followed your plans and dreams . . . but they are _your_ plans, _your_ dreams not mine. It's what you've wanted your entire life and that's great for _you_ but it's not what I want for me." I point to my chest. "Besides," I pause to make sure my lies sound convincing, "You're always at the hospital. The only time we see each other is when you're climbing into bed to sleep. I get lonely." I look around the room. "I won't do that again Edward. I spent my entire childhood alone. I don't think I can live a life where I'm home alone taking care of the house and cooking and cleaning and making sure you have clean scrubs for work. I've done that already. I _can't_ do that again. I _won't_ do it again." I emphatically state knowing deep in my heart it's all I really want to do. I can tell by the look on his face that my words have wounded him but, if his being honest, he knows I'm right . . . well partly right.

"Bella, I know being involved with a doctor isn't an easy life but I know we can do it. You're not always alone. You have mom and Alice . . ."

"Edward, I love your family but it's not their responsibility to keep me company while you're at the hospital. They have their own lives to live. Alice and Jasper have their own lives to live. They don't need to look after me and . . . I'm sure the last thing your parents need around is a third wheel. Besides, you're not listening to me. I want to travel . . . I want to see so many things. You're talking as if I am going back with you. I'm sorry Edward but I'm not. Like I said in my text, it's over. You have to accept that. Go home and get on with your life just as you planned it. Find a girl you can share your life with, someone who really wants to be a doctor's wife . . . _my heart breaks as I push him further away _. . . a woman who wants to live the life of a doctor's wife . . . a woman who can make you happy. You're a real catch Edward. I'm sure it will be easy for someone as good looking as you . . . and, a doctor to boot, to find a woman who wants nothing more than to be a doctor's wife . . . to share _your_ plans. What about Tanya? You can't deny she would make a perfect doctor's wife." _I can't believe I just said that to the man I love. _"We both know she's in love with you . . . your life would be so easy with her. She'd fit perfectly into your plans."

Staring at me in disbelief, I can see that Edward is searching for the right words to hold onto me . . . to us.

"What if I took a year off and went to Europe with you? We could . . ."

_I knew it. I knew he would give it all up. I won't let him! _"See," I scream throwing my arms up in frustration. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. Why should you change your plans for me?"

"We could visit all the countries you want to see . . . stay as long as you want," he pleads.

I growl, "You're not listening to me Edward. I don't want to visit Europe. I want to live there. I don't want to go on a vacation," I hiss the last sentence.

My words anger him _and_ his next words stab at my heart.

"When are you going to grow up Bella and start acting like an adult? When are you going to stop running away like a little child?"

_Disdain oozes with every word. That's it; it's almost over. He's angry now. I hear it in his angry words . . . his hateful voice._

"Grow up!" I yell shocked at his words. "Look around Edward." I motion back and forth. "I grew up in this house a long ago time ago." I pause as an image of my mother flashes before my eyes. "No . . . I take that back. I grew up when my mom decided she still had a lot more living to do despite the fact that she had a young daughter." I spit. "I grew up when my mom left me alone with my grandmother day after day. Don't you dare tell me to grow up," I seethe through my teeth as my chest heaves.

He looks directly into my eyes. "I get that you had a hard life growing up but that doesn't give you the right to be so selfish."

I'm taken aback at his vicious honesty. "I'm selfish? First, I have to grow up and, now, because I want to live _my_ life I'm being selfish. I'm so sorry Edward for not living _my_ life the way _you_ want! I want to live _my_ life and if that makes me selfish then _I am selfish_." I scream. "What about you? This is all about _you_ and _your_ plans . . . how my life doesn't fit into your plans . . . but I'm the one being selfish."

"That's not what I meant. It came out wrong."

"Please listen, Edward. I don't want this. I don't want to feel trapped. I love Esme," _those are some of the first honest words I've spoken, _"but I'm not like her. I'm never going to be happy staying at home. I want to be able to come and go as I please."

"Like I just said, you're being really selfish right now thinking only about yourself and what you want. We are in a relationship and I thought when two people are in a loving relationship they put the other person first." His voice softens at the end.

He tries to reach for me but I recoil. I can't let him touch me again. Hurt crosses his face at my rejection.

"Bella, I understand you didn't have the best family life growing up but . . ." he runs his hands through his hair pulling at the roots in frustration, "but what we have . . ."

I interrupt, "Edward, we don't have anything. I said it's over."

"We can't be over Bella. I love you . . . you love me. I know you do." He pleads. "You're my Penny; I'm your Sheldon. Bella, whatever is going on please, I'm begging you tell me. Don't do this to us . . . please."

_If he doesn't stop I'm going to crumble right before his eyes. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to break and, if I do, I will ruin his career and his life. I have to make him hate me; it has to be a clean break. _

"Edward we keep going around in circles. You're just going to have to accept that it's over. We had fun but now it's time to move on okay. Now, I'm sorry but I really do have to be somewhere and I'm already very late. I'm sorry but you need to leave Edward."

Defeat finally crosses his face. He whispers, "Bella, please don't do this to us . . . please."

_I'm going to hate myself but this has to be fast clean break_. "Don't do what Edward? Don't live my life. I'm sorry if you don't like it but I am going to live _my_ life not _yours_." _Here it comes. This will send him away forever. "_Edward, there is no us . . . there never was. You were just my Seattle guy."

His breath hitches at my cold heartless words.

"I don't believe you Bella. You're lying; I don't know why you are _but_ you are; you're hiding something from me. I can feel it. I don't understand why you are shutting me out of your life."

"Oh sweet, innocent naïve Edward, you are so gullible. It's kinda cute really. I've traveled from city to city. What do think I did all alone in those strange cities? Like I said, you were just my Seattle guy."

"Bella, you are trying way too hard to push me away. I don't know why you're lying to me . . . but I know something is wrong I just don't know what it is. What we have is real and I'm going to prove it. I want you to do something for me Bella," he orders. "You owe me at least this one last request before you banish me from your life."

My heart beats against my chest. _What does he want from me? _

"I want you to kiss me one . . . one last time . . . then look straight into my eyes and tell me you don't love me. If you can make me believe that you don't love me . . . then," he intakes a sharp painful breathe, "then I promise to I'll leave you alone forever."

_Oh no, what am I going to do. The moment my lips touch his he's going to know I'm lying. I can't do this. I can't do this but I have to. His career depends on it. _

"I don't even need to kiss you to know the truth. I see the panic in your face. I know won't be able to do it because you're lying to me." He almost laughs at our ridiculous situation.

His confident words get my back up. I have to do this. He _will_ have the life he has always planned and I will keep my promise to my dad; my dad who needs me more than ever. I won't let him down.

_This is the last time I will ever hold Edward in my arms . . . ever press my lips to his . . . ever breathe him in . . . ever look deep into his eyes . . . the last time I will ever lie to him. _

"Challenge accepted," I joke as our eyes lock as I stand toe to toe with Edward. I lick my lips; his eyes darken as his breath hitches. I weave my fingers into his hair as his hands instinctively wrap around my waste pulling me tight against his chest. I force my eyes to stay open needing to look into his loving eyes one last time. My heart races feeling our cosmic electric connection as his hands roam my back. I capture his bottom lip as he takes my top lip. I inhale his scent as his tongue penetrates my mouth and we fight for dominance. I suck his tongue relishing what his kisses do to me. Our bodies mold together one last time. My heated blood pulsates through my entire being. Needing oxygen, we slowly break our final kiss.

I rest my forehead to his fully aware of the ramifications of the lie I'm about to tell. Pulling far enough away to look into his eyes, I find the strength I need to boldly declare "I don't love you Edward. Please believe it _is_ over."

"You're lying. You can't kiss me like that then turn around and say you don't love me," his hushed voice declares.

"Oh Edward, you're so naïve. As a doctor, I would think you of all people would know the physiological effects of kiss. I could call Jacob back, kiss him exactly the same way I just kissed you and get the same physiological reaction you're still experiencing right now."

He stands shocked at my cold calculating words as I walk to the door. I open it motioning him to leave. "Now, I don't mean to be rude but if you'll excuse me I'm late. Like I said, I really do need to be somewhere right now."

As he walks out the door, I hammer the last nail in the coffin. "It's been fun doc. See ya around. Say hi to momma bear," I wink. I know that last remark stabbed at his heart and . . . mine.

My callous comment makes him stop mid-step. I look into his now contemptuous icy cold eyes, "You know maybe you _are_ right . . . you never did fit into my plans. I think I will give Tanya a call when I get home." 

He believes me now. His devastatingly punishing words cut me to the core. I didn't think he would fight back but his cruel words are exactly what I deserve . . . and more. He walks down the stairs as I close the front door. I lean against the cold door before I rush to the bathroom vomiting dry heaves.

**A/N: Please don't hate Bella or me too much okay. This chapter is inspired from the **_**New Moon **_**novel when Edward makes Bella believe she isn't good enough for him just in reverse. I'm looking at three more chapters . . . I think. Okay, let me have it. I'm a big girl.**


	36. Chapter 36 Slipping Away

**A/N: **First, a ginormous apology for the late update, new semester is a killer**. **Well, well, well some of you were mighty angry with Bella last chapter. Chapter 35 was my version of Edward leaving Bella behind because _**he**_ thought he was doing the right thing by leaving. For those hating the cowardly Bella, please remember _**she**_ thinks she's doing the right thing for all involved too. Sometimes people in love do and say stupid things, no really they do! Thank you to all who left a comment and to the new followers and favorites of this story. This is a bit of a slow burn but not too slow. I appreciate those have stuck with the story so, so much AND now on with the show.

**Disclaimer**: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80s pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs. Sadly, no dibs on Penny and Sheldon either. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. Story not beta'd so all mistakes are mine.

**Chapter 36 "Slipping Away"**

**EPoV**

I storm out feeling the strong vibration of the slamming door on my back. I lean against the door's barrier for support huffing deep angry breaths. Despite the wall between us, I feel our connection . . . until suddenly it is broken. And, I'm angry, I'm angrier than I have ever been in my entire life. Who does she think she is trying to lie to me – and, I know without a doubt in my heart and in my soul, _that_ is exactly what she is doing; she's lying to me . . . _and_ to herself._ 'Like I said, you were just my Seattle guy.' _She could barely utter that fabricated falsehood._ 'Like I said, you were just my Seattle guy.' "_What a pathetic lie," I seethe. _"You know maybe you are right . . . you never did fit into my plans. I think I will give Tanya a call when I get home." _Yeah, what a pathetic lie.

_**BPoV**_

As the dry heaves subside, I shuffle to the bathroom sink. With a shaky hand, I grab hold of the sink's edge to support my trembling body as traitorous tears trail down my checks. Taking a deep breath, I angrily wipe the tears away looking into the reflection of a liar . . . a traitor . . . a coward. My face morphs from the pain my lies have caused my Edward . . . but he isn't _my_ Edward anymore . . . not after all my pathetic lies. The dry heaves return; I barely make it to the toilet. After surviving round two with the toilet, I rinse my mouth and dab a cold washcloth across my face all the while ashamed to look at my reflection.

In a trance, I walk back to the scene of the crime. My skin prickles sensing Edward is still close by; I can feel his presence with every fiber of my being. I want to yank the door open, throw myself into his arms and beg him to forgive me . . . but . . . but my dad needs me . . . I can't. I see my letter on the floor and my tears return. I wipe them away, pick up the letter and sit on the edge of my dad's recliner. I don't read the letter; I fold it into a tiny square as my traitorous words burn a hole in my hand. I'm numb and I want to jump out of my skin all at the same time. I'm tired; I'm just so tired of everything.

I spy Billy's folded quilt on the sofa. I know I should call Jacob to take me back to the hospital but . . . I feel so overwhelmed and drained right now. I need time to gather my strength . . . _and_ wits before returning to the hospital. Wrapping the quilt around me, I lay on the lumpy sofa. I miss Esme's big comfy chair right about now and the comfort of the quilt reminds me of her warm motherly arms. I need her right now so much. My heart aches knowing how much she is going to hate me for hurting her baby boy. Suddenly, my goose bumps disappear and I weep into the quilt . . . eventually succumb to sleep.

**EPoV**

From the other side of the door, I feel her . . . I feel our cosmic electric connection. No matter what she says she can't break _our_ connection. I won't let her. I won't; it's not part of my plan. I could pound on the wooden barrier between us, persuade her to open the door and force her to admit she's lying to me . . . but . . . but she's right about one thing. We can't keep going round and round about this, at least, not right now; we're both too emotional and we've already said things to each other we really don't mean. Angry bitter words would completely destroy us. I _know_ she doesn't mean the things she said. She's upset about something, she's confused and she's angry. She needs time to calm down; to think about whatever it is that is making her behave this way and the magnitude of actions. I huff. And, I need time to come up with a plan to get her back because I _will_ get her back. So as difficult as it is to leave, I find the strength to break our magnetic pull and walk away from her. Making my way down the road, I text dad asking him to meet me at the local diner we had passed on the way into town.

A few minutes later dad responds. _**Are you okay? My visit with Gerandy turned into a consultation, he needs a second opinion on a difficult case but I can be there in a few minutes. - dad**_

Immediately I text back. _No rush take your time, I'm going to take a walk. I need some time to clear my head. Just meet me at the diner whenever you're ready –_ _Edward_

I'm tempted to call Bella or, at the very least, send her a text but I am fully aware she needs time. So reluctantly, I rid myself of the temptation dropping my phone into my pocket. Walking along the roadside, a few large rain drops splatter against my face. I look up to the partially cloudy sky. _Perfect, just perfect . . . rain; that's all I need right now 'cause my day can't get any worse. _I walk a bit faster hoping to reach the diner before I'm caught in a down pour.

Entering the diner, a small bell chimes above the door. I look up to the bell as one last raindrop hits its mark right on the tip of my nose. Wiping the raindrops away, I stand near the cashier's counter waiting to be seated; the aroma of the diner's food has my stomach growling. Despite my emotional state _or_ because of it, suddenly I'm starving.

"Have a seat anywhere," calls out a passing waitress with a large tray of food balancing on one hand.

I sit at a table near the corner window. Almost immediately, the waitress places an empty coffee cup, wrapped utensils, a paper place mat and a two-sided menu on the table. Before I have a chance to read the laminated menu, she asks if I'm ready to order.

"Could I have a couple of minutes to look over the menu?" I whisper.

"No problem. Let me know when you're ready sweetie."

I nod as she walks away leaving me to peruse the menu. My stomach continues to growl but I don't know what I feel like eating. Perhaps I'm not really hungry. Maybe I am just eating my feelings . . . I sound like a girl . . . and now I sound like a sexist. My eyes scan the diner not looking at anything in particular. A few big yawns escape as my body begins to respond to my lack of sleep.

Sensing my indecision, the waitress returns, "Can't make up your mind huh? Well we've got a daily special that's not on the menu." She proceeds to describe the special - roast beef au jus, mashed potatoes and a house salad.

Not quite my favorite meal but a close second. Hearing the words roast beef my stomach growls again.

The waitress lets out a loud guffaw, "sounds like it's the daily special for you young man. I'll be right back with your order and, by the looks of those blood red eyes and yawns, I'll bring you some coffee too."

I'm too defeated to argue. I anticipate the food not being as mouthwatering as the meals Bella's cooked for me but I am in desperate need of some comfort food. In no time at all, the waitress slides a large white oval plate filled with my favorite meal. She pours some freshly brewed coffee as I reach for the salt and pepper. Still not sure why I'm eating, I slowly chew my food until I realize the meal isn't half bad. As suspected, it's not as delicious as Bella's but it's just what I need. Before I know it, I've eaten the entire plate and salad; I guess I was hungrier than I thought.

Refilling my coffee cup, the waitress jokes, "Well looks like you were pretty hungry after all. Can I get you some dessert . . . a slice of pie maybe?"

"Not right now but thank you. The food was delicious. Um, if you don't mind, I'm waiting for my father. Is it okay if I wait here for him?"

"Stay as long as you want handsome. Let me know if you change your mind about dessert."

She sends me a quick wink as she mouths 'cheer up' before making her way back to the kitchen. I return a half-hearted smile slowly turning my attention to the evergreen trees across the road. I stare out the window, all my thoughts focused on Bella. I sigh wondering what I am going to do _if_ I lose her . . . forever.

**CPoV**

"Knock, knock. You busy?" I tap the door sticking my head into his office.

Gerandy's head pops up from his computer screen. His sullen frown and serious brow instantaneously morphs into a wide surprised smile. "What the heck are you doing here? This _is_ a surprise Carlisle!" He rises from his desk reaching his hand out to mine firmly shaking it. "Come in, come in. It's good to see you. Are you staying at the cabin? You know you never come around for a visit unless you're on vacation. Have a seat." He motions to the empty chair as he sits back down.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important. Whatever it is you were reading must be serious. That was some intense look you had on that ugly face of yours," I joke.

"Har, har, har," Gerandy's serious expression returns, ". . . but all kidding aside Carlisle, I'm actually very glad you happened to drop by today. Obviously you're not here to work but, if you don't mind, I'd like to pick your brain . . . I've got this tough case . . . and I sure could use your . . . a fresh pair of eyes . . . your expert medical advice . . . a second opinion, if you will, on one of my patient . . . that's if you're not in any hurry."

"Actually, I'm here with my son Edward. He had some personal business to handle. I'm just waiting around for him . . . so I thought I'd drop by to say hello but I'd be more than happy to review the case if you think I can help." I pull my chair closer to Gerandy's computer as he turns the monitor so we can both view the patient's file. "So catch me up."

I grab a pen and note pad off his desk and begin taking some notes as he reviews the case. We discuss the patient's prognosis and rehabilitation timeline.

". . . and it's clear that, at least for the foreseeable future, the patient will need 24 hour care. I'd recommend getting started with extensive daily physical therapy for the one-sided paralysis as soon as possible . . . and eventually occupational therapy. Do you agree?"

"Absolutely but my concern is if the patient should be placed in a rehab facility where he can get round the clock care or . . ."

"What's the situation at home?" I interrupt. "Obviously, the caregivers will need to . . ."

Gerandy shakes his head. "_Caregiver_ . . . there's only an adult daughter."

I consider the full magnitude of caring for a stroke patient in this condition, it will be nearly impossible for _one_ caregiver to provide round the clock care. The patient and caregiver will both suffer; this is definitely more than a one man operation . . . or should I say one woman. Our consultation is interrupted by a text from Edward.

"Do you need to leave?" Gerandy worriedly asks.

"No, not this very minute but. . . " I pause, "but, if you don't mind, perhaps it would be wise to visit the patient now. I'd like to assess his condition before I _do_ need to leave."

Entering the elevator, we continue our discussion of the caregiver's options. At this point, the caregiver must begin extensive home modifications as soon as possible if the patient _is_ to be cared for at home. We stop at the nurse's station recognizing a few of the senior nurses. I'm introduced as a consulting physician first and old friend second.

In addition to the one-sided paralysis, the patient also suffers from Aphasia. If there is one ray of hope in this case, that is the one ray of hope. While the patient is unable to process words and vocalize his thoughts, he is fully capable of thought process and in full control of his faculties.

The day nurse is just finishing up as Gerandy and I enter the room. The patient is awake; his eyes instantly appear to focus on me. Approaching the patient's bed, I use my best bed side manner smile. Gerandy and I stand side by side as he introduces me as a consulting doctor on his case. "Chief, this is Dr. Carlisle Cullen from Seattle. He is consulting with me on your case."

The chief's eyes frantically move side to side. He seems to be trying to communicate with us . . . with me. _Wait, did he say_ c_hief._

"Chief?" I repeat to Gerandy. _No, it can't be; it just can't be._

A quizzical expression crosses Gerandy's face. "Oh, I'm sorry Carlisle. This is Chief Swan. He's the Chief of Police."

**EPoV**

I continue to stare . . . out the window . . . across the road . . . into the darkening evergreen forest. Nothing has changed. I'm fighting to keep my eyes open; my lack of sleep is catching up with me but my singular thought is of . . . Bella.

_**BPoV**_

I wake up from a much needed and very deep sleep. I rub my aching neck; I must have slept in an awkward position despite being wrapped in the comfort of Esme's quilt. Slowly stretching out my arms and legs my mind is bombarded with thoughts of my dad and his condition . . . and my promise to him . . . and Edward's unexpected visit . . . and my promises _him_. The early evening sky tells me how long I've actually slept. Momentarily, I stare out the curtained window; I feel numb, on autopilot but I need to get to the hospital. I haven't seen my dad the entire day; he must be worried that I'm not there. I need to call Jacob Black and let him know I'm fine; he looked worried when he left. I shake out the quilt and refold it placing it back on the sofa. I need to remember to bring it to Billy. I climb up the stairs to my room and change into more comfortable clothes. I slip on _our_ Dartmouth hoodie and my heart aches. I can't wear it anymore; I rip it off in exchange for a generic black hoodie that fits my mood. I text Jacob thanking him for all his help and letting him know I will be driving myself to the hospital. I grab my stuff, Billy's quilt and Charlie's car keys. Making my way to the hospital, a few large yawns escape; I'm still so tired despite my long nap.

I walk past the nurse's station and, before stepping into my dad's room, I put on my "_everything is going to be alright" _happy face. "Hi dad," I wave Billy's quilt in the air, "Billy's quilt," I proclaim trying my best to sound as upbeat as possible as I place it on the edge of the bed. Charlie and I were never the touchy feely type of people but, here in the hospital, all of that is a thing of the past. Setting the uncomfortable hospital chair near dad shoulders, I take hold of his hand and squeeze as tightly as I can in hopes of a response in return. Nothing, no response . . . but I need to be hopeful. Hope is all I have at this point.

I don't notice Dr. Gerandy enter the room until he clears his throat. I look up. "How'd he do today doc?" I ask while tracing small soothing circles on his hand. I let out another loud long yawn just as Dr. Gerandy was about to speak. "Sorry about that."

"Understandable Bella, you're under a lot of stress right now. Make sure you get plenty of sleep. You've got a tough road ahead of you. At this point Bella, he's doing as well as can be expected. I know, I know," he raises his hands, "that sounds so cliché but it's the God honest truth. Now, if you don't mind, we need to discuss some of your options for your father's care. It's imperative we begin PT as soon as possible." Gerandy looks to Charlie then tilts his head in direction of the door. "Let's go talk in my office." His voice softens.

I nod, get up, and kiss dad on the forehead. I whisper, "I'll be right back dad." I squeeze his hand tightly before following Dr. Gerandy to his office. I'm on autopilot.

"Before we begin, I want to let you know that I had the unexpected _but_ extremely fortunate opportunity of consulting with a highly respected neurosurgeon from Seattle about your father's prognosis . . ."

The room is spinning . . . neurosurgeon . . . Seattle . . . I no longer hear a word Dr. Gerandy is saying. My heart is beating out of my chest; pulsating blood floods my ears.

"Are you feeling all right Bella? You look pale. Can I get you anything to drink?"

His concern for my health brings me back.

"W-w-water please," I stutter. "I'm sorry I got a bit lightheaded. I haven't eaten all day." With a shaking hand, I take the bottled water drinking it slowly.

"This is exactly what Dr. Cullen was worried about. Bella, I believe and Dr. Cullen concurs that your father would benefit by being placed in a facility that is equipped to prove him with the around the clock care he is going to need once he is released from the hospital.

"But I promised my dad . . ." I interrupt my voice loud with indignation despite my nerves at hearing Dr. Cullen's name. I have to focus; this is not about Edward and Dr. Cullen right now.

Dr. Gerandy holds up his hand to interrupt, "Hear me out Bella. Dr. Cullen and I both feel, with time, your father's condition may improve _but_ he needs immediate extensive professional care _now_. You're not trained to give your father the type of care he will need once he is released. Down the road once his condition improves you can take him home but, for now, I suggest you look into having the Chief placed at the Stroke Rehabilitation Clinic at Harborview in Seattle."

"Seattle! Why a facility in Seattle? Why can't he be placed in a rehab center here? Why so far away?" I panic. "Why can't I be trained and take care of him at home?" I am desperate. "I just don't understand why Seattle."

"Bella, Charlie requires professional care. This is a small hospital. We can't offer what Harborview can offer. We need to get him in PT as soon as possible and Dr. Cullen has graciously offered to pull some strings to get Charlie admitted to the program."

"What! I can't allow him . . ." my voice wavers then fades away as my tears return. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry anymore. _I just broke his son's heart and now he's helping my father. _I wipe away my tears and try to pull it together.

"He's on the staff at UW Medicine _and_ he is a highly respected neurosurgeon there. He's actually getting ready to semi-retire so you were very fortunate that he was here today. As a consultant on the case, he can refer your dad."

"Bella, go spend some time with your dad. Think about what I've said. It's a lot to take in all at once. Do your research and seriously consider my recommendation . . . and Dr. Cullen's recommendation."

As I stand, I can't stifle yet another wide yawn.

"And, I better not hear that you slept here tonight. Go home and get a good night's sleep. Your father is in good hands. Go home tonight young lady doctor's orders."

I leave Dr. Gerandy's office with a weak smile. From down the hall, I hear muffled voices in dad's room. Billy and Jacob are talking to Charlie; giving him a pep talk. Jacob's eyes meet mine and gestures for us to leave the room. Billy continues to talk to my dad.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. My dad was worried when you never called for a ride to the hospital."

I smile at Jacob's genuine concern. I thank him and reassure him that I'm final; we return to the room. I present Billy with his very own slightly used quilt as he offers his chair to me.

**EPoV**

I cup my face in my hands desperately trying not to fall asleep in the diner. I've had three cups of coffee but can't seem to keep my eyes open. Between my lack of sleep, my adrenaline crashing from my fight with Bella and my meal, I am out for the count. I feel a strong firm hand on my shoulder gently trying to wake me; my sleep deprived eyes pop open. Dad sits at the empty seat next to me. Almost immediately, the waitress is setting the table in front of him.

"I'll take a cheeseburger with fries and a large coffee to go please."

"Coming right up handsome," the waitress smiles and throws an over the shoulder wink.

"How are you doing son? I'm sorry I took longer than I thought."

My voice is hoarse from lack of sleep, "No problem dad. I needed to calm down." My eyes shut as my voice falters.

"Let's stay at the cabin tonight. I'm exhausted and you look like you don't even have the strength to walk to the car."

I simply nod in agreement and yawn. "I'll call mom and let her know we'll be home tomorrow."

My cell phone doesn't complete the first ring before mom answers her phone.

"Oh baby boy! I've been so worried. Alice and I have been sitting here on pins and needles waiting for you or your father to call. Are you bringing Bella home?"

"No mom, I'm not bringing Bella home . . . well not right this minute anyway." Dad listens as I fill mom in on my fight with Bella. Every so often, mom adds her two cents in as she continues to stress that this is not _our_ Bella talking. I fight another yawn. "Listen mom dad decided it would be best if we slept at the cabin tonight and leave for home early tomorrow morning."

"Okay honey. Get a good night sleep. I promise everything will work itself out. Let me talk to your dad for a moment. I love you baby boy . . . sleep tight."

"Esme, we're going to head over to the cabin before it gets too dark. I'll call you later tonight . . . don't worry honey. I promise everything will work out . . . I promise."

_**BPoV**_

Dr. Gerandy was definitely right about one thing. I do need to take care of myself if I'm going to care for Charlie. I take a long hot shower washing away most of the events of today . . . with the exception of Edward . . . Edward who is always in my thoughts . . . I snuggle into my warm bed. The moment my head hits the pillow my eyes shut. My body automatically relaxes. I'm more exhausted than I thought. My breathing begins to even until my cell phone rings. _My Dad!_ From under the blankets, my hand searches for my cell phone reaches on the night stand. "Hello," I croak.

"Bella, we need to talk . . . no I need to talk . . . you need to listen."

I inhale a sharp quick breath. "Esme!" 

**A/N: **Okay, so this is a bit of a transition chapter. I'm not in the medical field so I had to wing it. I hope I didn't offend anyone in the medical field for my mistakes. 


	37. Chapter 37 Behind the Smile

**A/N:** Surprise!

**Disclaimer:** _Twilight _by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad.

**Chapter 37 "Behind the Smile"**

_**BPoV**_

"Hello," I croak.

"Bella, we need to talk . . . no I need to talk . . . you need to listen."

I inhale a sharp quick breath. "Esme!"

"Of course, it's me dear. You sound surprised to hear my voice. Were you not expecting me to call . . . oh, I'm sorry . . . looking at the clock now I see that it is rather late isn't it. Oh silly me, please forgive me for forgetting my manners."

For the first time in my entire life, a cold chill runs through my body. Oh, this is a different animal. Every word of _this_ Esme drips with sarcasm. She is angry and it's the worse type of anger; it's the momma bear protecting her baby cub anger. I knew she would despise me for hurting her son . . . _her_ baby boy. I hear the disdain in her voice . . . in her dead calm voice . . . her tone and words isn't anything I didn't expect from her. I wouldn't expect anything less from a mother who loves her children as much as she loves hers.

"Were you not expecting _me_ to call? I've missed you Bella. I know you're visiting your father but I had hoped you wouldn't forget all about _your_ _family_ in Seattle."

"Esme, I'm not part of your family . . ." The words are difficult to utter because I wanted them to be true.

"Bella, the moment my son fell in love you, you became part of our family. I thought you understood that." Esme pauses, "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Esme, anything."

"Do you love my son Bella?"

"Esme, I'm sorry . . . I'm so sorry," I pause to wipe away the silent tears running down my checks and to control my voice. I cover the speaker so she doesn't hear me. I won't allow her to hear the heartache in my voice.

"What are you sorry about Bella? Are you sorry that you've broken the heart of the only man you will ever truly love? Is that what you're sorry about? Or, are you sorry that not only are you lying to Edward and me . . . but you're also lying to yourself." Esme scolds.

I don't respond; there's nothing I can say. It's true.

"I need you to consider the consequences of your actions . . . of your lies Bella. To be perfectly honest, if you keep pushing Edward away like you're doing, one day he may do something really stupid out of spite." Esme weakly chuckles, "Men usually do stupid things when it comes to love and, unfortunately, my son is no exception to the rule. He just may do something stupid like move on with his life . . . without you. You need to consider _if_ that is what you really want."

Esme pauses as I absorb the magnitude of her words . . . of Edward moving on with his life without me.

"Do you really want Edward to move on with his life . . . with someone else . . . with someone else like . . . someone like Tanya perhaps," her voice fades.

The mention of Tanya is like a piercing stab to my heart. The pain is unbearable. She's pulling out all the stops. She's good.

Esme continues, ". . . someone who would fit so perfectly into his plans because I don't?"

There is silence between us.

Esme's voice softens, "_You_ are Edward's first and only true love and he is yours. I saw it the day of his graduation. I saw the way he looked into your eyes and the way you couldn't stop looking into his. I know it without a doubt . . . but I don't need to tell you that do I? You wouldn't be trying so hard to hide your tears from me right now if it weren't true."

The tone in Esme's voice changes now that she has gotten her message across loud and clear. Now that she knows her honest true words have affected me, have made my cry.

"Bella, I'm not saying these things to you to hurt you. I'm saying them because I love you sweetie . . . _we_ all love you . . . you need to remember that. Whatever you're going through right now, you need to remember we are your family whether you like it or not." Esme pauses to take a deep breath. "You _must_ know that . . . that you can tell your family anything. We are here for you sweetie whenever you need us we're here for you." Esme chuckles, "honestly, I think this entire mess is because you've never had to answer to anyone else. You've always been in charge of things and you don't know how to ask for help. That's it isn't it!"

Esme says this more to herself than to me but it's true. She's one smart cookie.

Esme is silent as I hear Alice call out, "I'm here for you too Bella!"

"Think about what I've said Bella. We are only a phone call away okay. Now get some sleep. I love you sweetie. Good night."

Alice calls out again, "I love you too!"

I shake my head acknowledging their words but I can't speak. If I open my mouth to utter a single word, I will breakdown so I quietly end the call. The floodgates open as I cry harder than I have ever cried in my life. My chest heaves in pain as I gasp for air in between my cries. My body trembles uncontrollably. I am physically ill as I come to the realization of I much I have hurt the one man I will ever love. I cry harder realizing what a horrible, horrible person I am. I don't remember falling asleep.

_I watch as I argue with Edward. "Please, Edward, I don't want to do this anymore . . . go round and round about this . . . I don't love you, you were just my Seattle fling, you were just a warm bed in a lonely city . . . thanks by the way but I've moved on, I'm not coming back but it was fun wasn't it . . . I wince at my false flippant voice . . ." Tanya stands near my Edward as their fingers entwine. No, I reach out to Edward but he disappears before I can reach him._

_**Sometime later . . . EPoV**_

_If there is one thing in my life I know I have no control over, it is that I will never ever ever be able to control my unruly hair, ever. Fuck, I sound like that Taylor Swift chick. So as I pace the small waiting room, running my fingers through my unruly hair again. The small room itself is a generic office with a desk and computer, credenza, a sofa, and random religious statues and pictures. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't say fuck in the waiting room of a church. I don't want to sit down and wrinkle my new Giorgio Armani tuxedo. My fiancée said the suit is the epitome of a wedding tuxedo and I will look breathtakingly handsome wearing it. A tuxedo's tuxedo she explained. Alice concurred. So here I am wearing Armani and trying not to get it wrinkled._

_"I - I - I'm nervous man like I'm having a heart attack nervous. Should I be this nervous on my wedding day? I've heard of wedding day jitters but this is ridiculous. I really think I'm having a heart attack," I stutter to Emmett while I place one of my sweaty palms over my heart. "I'm a neurosurgeon for Christ sakes; neurosurgeons shouldn't have shaky hands." I look at my shaking hands again and confirm, "Yeah, shaky hands and being a surgeon are definitely not a good combination." My incessant OCD rambling isn't helping the heart attack I am currently experiencing. I have never actually been diagnosed OCD but that doesn't stop my family and friends from insisting that I am OCD. I place two fingers over my radial pulse and begin to silently calculate my heart rate. Unhappy with the results, I repeat my self-examination by locating my carotid pulse and recalculate my erratic heartbeat. "Sweaty palms, palpitating heart, oh no, and now my ears . . . yup, definitely having a heart attack. Should. I. Be. This. Nervous. On. My. Wedding. Day!"_

_"I don't know man. I've never been married and I ain't biting that bullet any time soon unless the pee stick has two pink lines and yeah, surgeons and shaky hands are not a good combination. Good thing you're not scheduled to be in the operating room today," laughs my best man and cousin Emmett._

_I watch as he pulls out a bottle of a rather expensive looking scotch whisky and three shot glasses from a rather unassuming brown paper bag, classy. He pours three shots, stops to look at me, and then proceeds to pour a double shot into one of the glasses. "Here, take a shot of this. It'll help with the jitters and the shaky hands and stop worrying. You're not having a heart attack. Like you said, you're just having wedding day jitters. Now let's have a toast to your last few minutes as a free man and your beautiful bride to be."_

_If this is Emmett's attempt at comforting me, he is failing miserably but you gotta love the guy for trying._

_Emmett looks behind me, tilts his head to the side, and motions for my other best man Jasper to join us. With a sly southern smile, Jasper slowly rises from the sofa and saunters over to Emmett and me. Giving Jasper a once over Emmett yells, "Are you high Jazz?"_

_With a slight smirk, Jasper drawls, "It is highly possible."_

_"Man, who comes to a wedding high on weed these days? The sixties are over man. Move on," lectures Emmett as he hands Jasper the last shot glass._

_"Relax Emmett I'm just slightly faded. At least I'm not having a heart attack like this guy." Jasper turns and gives me a once over. His lopsided smirk returns as he watches my shaky shot glass and then looks back to Emmett, "See what I mean."_

_Emmett raises his shot glass. "A toast to my cousin's last moments as a free man and his beautiful bride!"_

_"To the bride," we respond in unison, click the three glasses, and shoot back the well-aged liquid courage. Emmett refills the glasses as quickly as they are emptied. Again my shot glass is a double while the other two glasses hold single shots. I eye the shot glass, arching my left eyebrow and glare at Emmett._

_Holding both hands up he snorts, "Hey, this is the closest I'm getting to a bachelor party. You cheated this best man," pointing to his chest, "out of a night of cheap drinks and cheap women. Now drink up!" Emmett challenges me and, reluctantly, I down the double._

_The two double shots are definitely having its intended effect. My erratic heartbeat has slowed to where I feel it's no longer trying to leap out of my chest. My heart attack symptoms have indeed subsided. My hands are much more steady, not surgeon steady but not trembling either._

_"That's it Emmett. No more! I didn't eat breakfast this morning. I really shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach. Hell, I shouldn't be drinking at all. She's gonna be pissed if I'm drunk during her wedding ceremony."_

_For a moment, I stop my rambling to think. I barely touched my plate last night at the rehearsal dinner. I remember just moving my food back and forth but not really eating. My mother had noticed that I wasn't eating and asked if I didn't like the food. She said she had specifically order my favorite comfort food of medium rare roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes, and glazed carrots. She wanted to send her baby boy off with one last healthy meal. It takes about a year for a new wife to learn how to properly cook for her husband, she mentioned and then laughed that she didn't want her baby boy to starve to death. However, instead of eating, I listened to my fiancée go over last minute details about the reception and the honeymoon. She really wants her wedding to be fairy tale perfect. So I listened, smiled and agreed._

_"Huh, come to think of it I can't remember eating any of my dinner last night." Looking up to the ceiling, I roll my eyes right and left a few times to confirm my lack of food. Yup, an empty stomach and lots of alcohol in the early afternoon is most emphatically a deadly combination. "I really shouldn't have any more. I haven't had anything to eat in more than twenty four hours. I think I've been so nervous about all this wedding stuff that food's been the last thing on my mind. Well, almost the last thing on my mind. Being a doctor, you would think that I should know better huh." There I go rambling again, no more heart palpitations and shaky hands but definitely still nervous._

_As I continue on my latest rant, Emmett pours another double and hands it to me. Without a second thought, I down it and go join Jazz on the sofa. Screw the tuxedo and wrinkles. Suddenly, I am feeling a bit light headed. I lean my head back, close my eyes, and take small calming breaths. There are flashes of mahogany and laughter and moans and sparkling golden honey brown and . . . my heart begins to race again. After a few moments, I take a long cleansing breath, open my eyes and notice the ceiling is slightly swaying. Yeah, that can't be good._

_I feel Jasper's hand on my shoulder but I don't turn toward him._

_"You okay man? You sure this is what you want? It's not too late to change your mind if you're not hundred and ten percent sure," whispers Jasper._

_Without turning to look at Jasper, I whisper back, "I'm sure. I want to be married. I want a family. I want a home. That's always been the plan. I'm sure. It's just wedding jitters. . . It's just wedding jitters. No, I'm good. It'll be good." I convince myself._

_" . . . as long as you're sure man. No doubts. To be honest, you're way too nervous even if you say it's just wedding jitters."_

_I quietly laugh. "No, I'm good. Honestly, I . . ."_

_Before I can finish, there's a light knock on the door. The door opens as a delicate arm appears waving a bottle. Alice glides the rest of the way in waving a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon in one hand and some crystal champagne flute glasses entwined in the other. Jazz stands and saunters over to his Alice._

_"From your future father-in-law. He sends his congratulations and says welcome to the family."_

_"Ah, that was nice of Ch . . . that's nice of him."_

_Emmett claps and rubs his hands together, "Just what this party needs!"_

_Alice hands the bottle to Emmett as she sets the champagne flutes on the credenza. Emmett expertly pops open the bottle and quickly pours the champagne. One by one, we pick up a glass. Once everyone has a glass, Jazz raises his flute._

_"We all know Edward is a Rick Astley fan but to quote the equally legendary soul singer Al Green . . . to love and happiness."_

_"To love and happiness," we echo as Alice, Jasper, Emmett and I click glasses to my impending nuptials._

_"Oh for Christ sake Jazz, the sixties are over! Move on man," laments Emmett as soon as he downs his drink._

_Jazz gulps down the last of his champagne. "I will have you know that Al Green is from the seventies not the sixties Emmett."_

_Emmett rolls his eyes and laughs, "Same difference man."_

_While Emmett and Jazz begin to debate the pros and cons of the seventies music versus today's music, I pour another glass of champagne. I tilt the bottle in Alice's direction and offer her a refill but she gracefully declines. I down the glass in one gulp. The room spins a little faster. Oh yeah, she is definitely gonna be pissed because I am now officially fucking drunk of my ass._

_"Okay guys, see you in a bit." Alice walks over to Jazz and gives him a quick innocent kiss before returning to the bride-to-be._

_As soon as Alice leaves the room there is another knock on the door. The wedding planner announces that it's time for the groom and his two best men to make their way into the front of the church._

_Emmett notices that I am having difficulty walking in a straight line._

_"Hey man, you okay? Maybe we shoulda skipped that last glass huh. You look like the altar boy who drank the last of the sacramental wine," chortles Emmett._

_"Nah, I'm fine. Just fine. Never better man. Neverrrr bettterrr." I slur as a drunken lopsided smile spreads across my face._

_"Oh yeah, she's gonna kill you and then she's gonna kill me and then she's gonna kill Jasper," snickers Emmett. "You're wasted."_

_I attempt to maintain my equilibrium, walk a straight line into the church and keep the room from spinning. I casually glance at the wedding guest. Through my blurred vision, I try to focus on the faces of my family and friends. I can definitely make out my mother and father's faces. It looks like my dad is smirking. He must know I'm drunk of my ass. Damn, I really shouldn't say ass in church . . . I shouldn't say ass either. My mom looks none too happy. Why isn't she smiling, this is her baby boy's wedding. She should be happy but she is definitely not a happy camper. I give her a short wave and slanted smile which only succeeds in making me dizzy and the room spin. Mom shakes her head back and forth in disappointment. I wish she would stop shaking her head. It's making me dizzy._

_She mouths, "are you sure?"_

_I simply shrug my shoulders and slowly turn to face the priest._

_Despite my current drunken stupor, I become acutely aware of her presence. My senses are assaulted with golden honey . . . mahogany . . . freeshia . . . strawberry . . . wisteria . . . her._

_She is here. I can sense her. I can feel her. I can smell her. I am calm._

_Mendelssohn's traditional wedding march begins and all the guests rise. This is it; I force myself to not sway. I wonder if it is obvious that I'm drunk and trying not to sway._

_The wedding procession begins as the adorable flower girl slowly walks down the aisle dropping faint pink rose petals along the way. She is followed by the bride maid, maid of honor and, finally, the bride._

_She perfectly fits her white satin couture wedding dress. She told me that the moment she saw it she knew it was the perfect dress; it was the dress she had dreamed of all her life. To make it even more perfect, she wore the traditional face covering veil. She said it would be romantic when I lifted the veil to kiss her the first time as man and wife. I remember laughing when she told me that but, hey, it is her wedding._

_A flash from the wedding photographer's camera brings me out of my alcohol induced reverie. The priest asks who gives this bride away and Emmett clears his throat as I begin to sway again. _

_Standing side by side with my bride, I attempt to be as still as possible. I will myself not to sway. I know I am failing miserably. In a hushed voice, she angrily questions if I am drunk. I think I nod ever so slightly but I'm not sure._

_"I can't believe you Edward. You're drunk on my wedding day. I wanted this day to be perfect," she continues to scold in an angry hushed tone. "We'll talk about this later." I calmly nod and turn back to face the priest._

_The rest of the ceremony is a drunken blur but her essence, her entire being comforts me, calms me. Even in my inebriated state, I know all will be well if she is by my side._

_I vaguely hear the muffled voice of the priest asks something about richer or poorer . . . sickness and health . . . for better or worse and, with deep emotion and love in her voice, I hear her say, "I do."_

_My turn next. Focus. I need to focus. Don't fuck this up. Oh shit, I said fuck in church. I'm going to hell. I just need to stop talking to myself._

_The priest continues to talk about . . . comfort . . . honor . . . forsaking all others and then there is silence. There seems to be an endless silence until I feel a nudge to my arm. I turn toward the direction of the nudge to see Jazz smiling at me while, once again, Emmett is clearing his throat. The silence continues as I try to keep me balance._

_"Edward!" she calls in a loud whisper._

_"Oh, oh yeah, I. . . I. . . I do." With those few stuttered words, there is a sudden inexplicable shift in my universe. Drunk or not, I can feel that something has gone horribly awry. Several things happen simultaneously as a noise catches my attention. I look around the church but I don't know what I'm looking for as I hear the words, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."_

_I'm still confounded by this sudden shift but bring my attention back to my bride as I slowly lift her veil. _

_My head is spinning out of control. As drunk as I am, this is not from the mass quantities of liquor I consumed earlier. I close my eyes and am inundated with flashes of mahogany and laughter and moans and sparkling golden honey brown and . . . my heart begins to erratically beat as I cup her face with my two hands. I begin to kiss her with all that I am but, like my universe, the kiss feels off-kilter . . . wrong . . . but that still doesn't stop me from telling her how I feel._

_"I love you so, so much my Bella . . . you're all I have ever wanted, you're all that I have ever needed . . . you are my life, you are my soul, you are my love, forever . . ."_

_Unhurriedly, I open my glazed eyes to meet my honey golden chocolate brown eyes. Instead, I'm confused as my eyes focus on a set of incensed cold steel blue eyes. A nanosecond later my jaw meets an efficacious right jab from the owner of those blue eyes . . . my new wife, Tanya._

I shot straight up on my bed causing the room to slightly spin. My bed sheets are soaked with sweat. My heart races out of my chest as Esme's words haunt me, _'Do you really want Edward to move on with his life . . . with someone else . . . with someone else like . . . someone like Tanya perhaps.' _

I can't think straight right now. I'm furious. "How dare Edward marry someone other than me!" I slam my fist into the mattress. "I don't care if it was only a dream . . . no a nightmare . . . how dare he marry that . . . that Tanya woman! I don't care that he was thinking of me the entire time . . . he still married her," I spit. "How dare he marry her? At least Esme had my back," I shout into the darkness of my room. Suddenly, I quiet. The only thing I hear is my heavy breathing and pounding heart. I sound like a crazy person talking to myself but I'm angry at _dream_ Edward for moving on without me. Realization hits me . . . and then the floodgates return. "What the hell was I thinking," I scream out between cries hoping Edward will forgive me. "I am such an idiot." I grab my cell phone off the nightstand immediately calling Edward's phone. After a few rings, it goes to his voice mail. I hang up. After the way I've behaved, what I need to say can't be said in a voice message. Just as I began to concoct a plan to get Edward to forgive me and take me back a wave of nausea hits me. I barely make it to the toilet before emptying the contents of my stomach. I rinse my mouth and face . . . my eyes pop open . . . OH SHIT! I scramble to my bedroom, grab my phone, and hit send. "Esme . . ."

A/N: Any thoughts? I would love to hear from you and your comments.


	38. Ch 38 It'll Take a Strong, Strong Man

**A/N: **So on with the show. Let me know what you think readers. last chapter had over 3.9k readers but only 16 reviews (sad face).

**Disclaimer: Twilight by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad. I don't own anything related to The Big Bang Theory either and I didn't sing or write any of the songs by Mr. Rick Astley. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 38 "It Would Take a Strong, Strong Man"**

_Several things happened simultaneously. Well, sorta simultaneously, several things happened over the period of a night._

**EPoV**

With my head precariously balanced in the palm of my hand, I feel myself losing the battle to keep my eyes open. Between the clatter of the diner, the lack of sleep from my previous night's shift at the hospital, my adrenaline finally crashing and my mind looping the confrontation with Bella, all I can think about right now is a good night sleep in a warm comfortable bed. My body craves sleep; I need to rejuvenate both my body and mind if I am going to formulate a plan to get Bella to come to her senses. Through heavy eyelids, I spy dad paying his check for his meal. He returns to the table and pats me on the back.

"Come on son, let's get going," whispers Carlisle.

I nod in agreement. Barely able to lift my feet, I trudge close behind as he leads me to the car. An image of a downcast and shivering Linus being escorting away from the Halloween pumpkin patch by his sister Lucy flashes behind my drowsy eyelids. I must be hallucinating from the lack of sleep and, if I had any energy left, I would be laughing at the analogy. The moment the passenger's door slams shut, my body molds to the seat as I drop my head back against the headrest finally resting my eyes. I must have fallen asleep; I don't remember but what seems like a moment later I feel a firm hand on my shoulder shaking me awake. My dad's voice floats into my troubling dream of Bella. I know it's a confusing dream but the moment my eyes open the dream is all but gone. All I remember is that, even as I sleep, all my thoughts somehow wander back to _my_ Bella.

Getting out of the car, the freezing air sends shivers through my body. I protect myself against the cold shoving my hands in my pockets and lowering my head into my chest. I wait as dad grabs a few bags from the back seat. I send him a quizzical look.

"You were sound asleep. I left you in the car while I stopped by one of the local stores to pick up a few necessities," dad chuckles.

I shrug my shoulders silently following him into the cabin. The cabin door opens and I am welcomed with warm reassuring air. I look to dad again as the lights illuminate the cabin.

He smirks, "I may have stopped by and turned on the heat after my visit with Gerandy."

I return a weak smile as I follow dad down the hall. We each grab some clean bed linen and blankets from the hall closet before making our way to the bedrooms.

"I know you're dead on your feet . . . I can help with the bedding if you like," dad kindly offers.

"No thanks dad I got it," my voice croaky from lack of sleep. _Sleep_ . . . I am just so damn tired . . . sleep is all I need so I can fix this mess . . . sleep and . . . Bella. Dad hands me one of the plastic bags before I head to my room. At the door, I turn back to dad, through a large rude yawn, and I thank him for all his help before disappearing into the room.

I just want to fall face down on the mattress. I'm too tired to make the bed so I haphazardly lay the sheets and blankets across the bed. I sit on the edge of the bed, toe off my shoes and undress down to my boxers. I remove a pair of flannel pajamas from the bag, pull off the tags and change. Retrieving my cell phone from my pant pocket, I hope to see any sort of message from Bella. Instead, I discover that my phone is dead just like me. I hadn't noticed that the battery was low when I called mom earlier. I left in such a rush this morning that I hadn't thought to bring my charger. "Fan-fucking-tastic," I grumble as I slip into my makeshift bed. My phone is still wrapped in my hand and _yawn_ . . . I'm asleep . . . before . . . . _yawn_ . . . my head hits the pillow.

**CPoV**

It's still relatively early but I am more than ready for a good night sleep. I'm physically and emotionally drained. This has been one hellva long day. Today feels longer and more draining than any of my double shifts I encountered during my residency. Between the four hour drive, my consultation with Gerandy, discovering his patient is Bella's father and, of course, worrying about Edward, I am more than ready for a good night sleep. Methodically, I place my take out on the night stand, make the bed up with the fresh linen and blankets, kick off my shoes, switch on the television and eat my semi-cold burger and fries.

Before calling my wife, I change into my new flannel pajamas and settle under the blankets. I lower the television volume and call my anxious wife. I image her pacing the kitchen floor anxiously waiting for any news.

The phone doesn't even complete its first ring. I don't say hello. I know exactly what she needs to hear. "He's sleeping. I haven't talked to him about what happened after I left him at Bella's house yet. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk right now anyway. He could hardly keep his eyes open. He's drained. Perhaps after he gets a good night sleep . . . after he has a chance to think, he'll feel more like talking." I stifle a yawn covering my mouth with my free backhand.

"I talked to Bella earlier this evening. There is something definitely wrong . . . but she is just so stubborn . . ."

I interrupt my worried wife midsentence, "honey, I have something to tell you . . . um . . . and, well you know I can't give you the specifics but . . ."

"Carlisle, what's wrong. You're starting to ramble," Esme worries. "Is it Edward? What aren't you telling me?"

"No, no it's not Edward . . . well, it's not directly about Edward per se . . . but it does have something to do with him . . . indirectly," I stutter feeling I'm giving away too much information.

"You never ramble unless you're worried about one of your patients. So, this must be about a patient. So take a deep breath sweetheart and tell me what's wrong. I'm here for you, _you_ know that. I'm always here for you; I'm listening. Lay it on me poppa bear; momma bear is here for you."

Her reassuring words comfort me; I contently smile. _I love my wife . . . even after all these years she knows exactly what I need. There is no one in this world like my Esme._ "Sweetheart before I begin there is one thing I have to tell you," I pause to take a deep heartfelt breath. "Thank you for marrying me almost," I stop to count how many years we have been married, ". . . is it almost thirty years already?" I say in shock. "Where did the time go?" I ramble. _Focus Carlisle. Focus._ "I love you Esme Cullen," I declare with my entire heart _and_ my entire soul. "I love you for being my wife all these years and for being the mother of our children. I love you honey."

"Oh Dr. Cullen, I love you too . . . so much. Now, tell me what's wrong. I've got a date with a sailor down at the docks," jokes Esme.

I shake my head at her running joke about the sailors at the dock, "The sailor's gonna have to wait tonight," I retort. "Now, before I begin, remember I can't give you any specific details okay."

"Carlisle, we've been married for almost thirty years. I know the drill. Just get on with it. You're making me really nervous."

Again, I smile at my demanding wife. "Well, after I left Edward at Bella's this afternoon, I dropped by Gerandy's office for a quick hello." I proceed to discuss the day's events. I mention seeing Bella with a young man coming at of her house and hear Esme gasp in shock.

"Don't worry honey. I honestly don't think there was anything romantic going on between this guy and Bella. It appeared he was simply giving her a ride somewhere . . . some of her things were in his truck. If they were romantically involved, he would have stayed but he couldn't get out of there fast enough. I think Edward scared him away," I chuckle. "Anyway, he left shortly after we arrived but I can tell you _your_ son was none too happy to see his gal anywhere near another man." I emphasize.

After reassuring Esme that Edward doesn't have to worry about any rivals when it comes to Bella' affection, I continue with the day's events. I explain how I happened across Gerandy in his office reviewing a difficult case. Carefully but not too carefully, I recount the consultation praying my clever wife would put two and two together. And, then I hear the knowing gasp; I can practically see the proverbial light bulb glowing over her head.

"That's it isn't it?" Esme demands in a whisper. "Bella's father is Dr. Gerandy's patient," she loudly cries. "He is . . . isn't he . . . isn't he?" Her urgent voice is barely audible again. "I knew something was wrong," she says more to herself than to me, ". . . I knew something was terribly horribly wrong. Edward knew it. I knew it. Oh my poor Bella, what must she be going through right now Carlisle . . . feeling so alone . . . feeling she had to handle this all on her own," Esme's voice fades as she begins to weep. I hear the phone fall to the table as she continues to weep.

There are footsteps and then I hear Alice's voice. I hear muffled voices in between Esme's cries. I call out for Alice to pick up the phone.

"Dad, what's going on? Mom's crying . . . what's going on," Alice voice trembles. She hesitates, "Did something happen to Edward? Is he okay?"

I recount my story to Alice as she continues to comfort Esme. I wish I could there . . . to hold her right now . . . be the one to comfort her. It pains me to hear her cry.

"Honey, please put mom on the phone. I need to talk to her."

Before she speaks, I hear her take a few cleansing breaths. She asks calmly, "Does Edward know?"

"No," I pause. "I was going to tell him but when I got to the diner to pick him . . . he was so tired . . . so emotionally drained . . . but I plan on telling him first thing in the morning before we leave." I chuckle again, "that's if we leave after he hears the news . . . and I'd really like to talk to Bella too. In all honesty, I think it would be more professional if I spoke to her first."

"Alice and I are leaving right now." Esme declares.

I hear the determination in her voice and now it's my turn to interrupt. "Esme, I know you're upset," I laugh, "and you want to fix everything . . . make it right this very instant . . . but _you_ are not driving all the way up here tonight. I rarely do this my love but I am putting my foot down this time," I command. "You are not driving four hours in the dark and on slick wet roads. I would be worried sick. Now, let's think about this logically." And, I begin my rambling. "Once you're here, you're not going to want to leave until Chief Swan is fully recovered." I hear her harrumph and I stifle a laugh. _Oh yes, do I know my wife._ "And, once I tell Edward, he more than likely he will not want to leave either. So here's the plan. We're going to need a change of clothes to last us at least a few days perhaps even a week. You'll need to pack a bag for us and Edward. Ask Alice to go to his apartment now and pack a bag for him. I'm going to call the hospital and arrange for Edward's schedule to be changed so he can have at least a few more days off. We are all going to need a good night's rest if we are going to be of any use to Bella." I inhale a deep breath and continue, "Now my dear, go pack our bags, take a nice warm shower . . . mmmm, you in a nice warm shower . . ."

"Carlisle! Now is not the time."

"Sorry sweetheart, I lost my train of thought there for a moment." I clear my throat, "As I was saying, get a good night's sleep and I'll see you and Alice tomorrow."

"Is that everything Carlisle?"

"Yes, I think that's everything for now."

"I love your plans Dr. Cullen. I'll see you tomorrow my love . . . and we will get back to the shower idea when all of this has settled down."

"Oh, I plan on it," I say with a devilish grin.

"See you tomorrow my love. Oh, and Esme, I'm sorry you won't be able to make your date with the sailor," I laugh before ending the call.

_**BPoV**_

"Esme . . ." I scream through a whispered cry. I just about blurt out that I think I'm pregnant but trap the words as they nearly escape.

_Wait . . . I can't tell Esme before I tell Edward that I think I'm . . . Oh holy crap . . . I think I'm pregnant. He would never forgive me if I didn't tell him first. Now she's gonna think I am a nut case calling her in the middle of the night for no reason. Honesty, I need to be honest. Not being honest is what got me into this jam to begin with. And, now I feel like Leonard Hofstadter ending my sentences with a preposition. What the heck is wrong with me right now . . . oh yeah, preggos. _

"Bella, are you all right? What's the matter honey?" Her concerned voice is groggy with sleep.

God I love this woman. She has unconditional love. I break her son, her baby boy's heart and she is still worried about me. And, here come the floodgates . . . yup definitely a bun in the oven.

"Momma bear . . . I'm so sorry," I weep. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," I beg through my hiccups. "You're right. I don't know how to ask for help. I've been on my own for so long . . ." my voice fades before I hiccup again, "I need . . . I . . . I need your help . . . please help me." I drop my phone on the bed and drop my head into my hands and sob. I hear Esme calling my name. I wipe the tears away and desperately try to calm my hiccups as I retrieve my phone.

"Honey, please don't cry. You're tears are breaking my heart," Esme pleads. "Tell me what's happened."

"Momma bear I've made a mess of everything. You were right. I had a dream, no a nightmare that Edward married Tanya," I hiccup. "He married her . . . _hiccup_ . . . but he knew I was there watching . . . he could sense me and he _still_ married _her_," I cry. "How could he marry her if he knew I was there . . . he loves me not her . . . I can't believe he married her . . . _whimper_ . . . and he had to get drunk to do it . . . _hiccup_ . . . so that means he doesn't love her right . . . I can't believe he married her! What am I going to do? I called Edward and he didn't answer my call. He hates me now." And, my crying begins all over again.

Esme lets out a small giggle. "Bella stop crying and listen to me. Edward does not hate you. He is none too happy with you right at the moment but he does not hate you. He loves you and you know it. Edward did not marry Tanya. You just had a very bad dream. Obviously my words from last night's conversation really hit home with you if you're this upset. I'm glad you were listening to me. Now, I want you to put the phone down and go wash your face and have a drink of water so you can calm down. When you're done come back to the phone. I'll be waiting on the other end."

I shake my head in agreement as if she can see me. I follow her orders then return to the phone. I notice my hand is shaky. My rattle nerves can't be good for the baby. I force myself to calm down. "I'm back."

"Feeling a bit better now," Esme asks.

I shake my head again.

_**EsPoV**_

"Now listen to me. Edward is still in Forks. Carlisle had a consultation at the local hospital . . ."

I hear her gasp. _I can't let her_ _know that I know Carlisle was there seeing her father. _"They were both exhausted and didn't want to chance the long drive back so they stayed overnight at our cabin. I'm going to give you the directions to the cabin. Do you have a pen and paper handy?"

"Yes, go ahead. I'm ready."

After I give Bella detailed direction to our cabin, I order, "Now, _try_ to get some sleep. Go talk to Edward. Get this mess straightened out. I will call you in the morning okay. Don't worry Bella. Everything will work out. I promise."

"I'm so sorry Esme for the way I acted. Can you forgive me?"

"Silly girl, there is nothing to forgive. Sometime people in love do really stupid things. Now go to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning. I love you."

"I love you too momma bear."

**EPoV**

I feel myself toss and turn all night despite my exhaustion. I can't sleep. My thoughts are as tangled as my body is tangled in the sheets of my unmade bed. In my sleep, I feel as if I am being trapped. I have a strange tangled dream that seems to be endless.

_If there is one thing in my life I know I have no control over, it is that I will never ever, ever be able to control my unruly hair, ever. Fuck, I sound like that Taylor Swift chick. So as I pace the small waiting room, running my fingers through my unruly hair again. The small room itself is a generic office with a desk and computer, credenza, a sofa, and random religious statues and pictures. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't say fuck in the waiting room of a church . . . "Oh, oh yeah, I. . . I. . . I do." With those few stuttered words, there is a sudden inexplicable shift in my universe. Drunk or not, I can feel that something has gone horribly awry. Several things happen simultaneously as a noise catches my attention. I look around the church but I don't know what I'm looking for as I hear the words, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." I'm still confounded by this sudden shift but bring my attention back to my bride as I slowly lift her veil. Tanya!_

My heart is racing as my eyes pop open. I look into the darkness of my room wiping away a thin layer of sweat from my forehead. I don't know how long I've been asleep but after that nightmare I don't know if I want to go back to sleep. Why would I have a dream I married Tanya? It must be the guilt of telling Bella maybe I will move on with Tanya. I wait until my heartbeat slows before I get out of bed.

Making my way to the kitchen, I see the dim glow of the morning light peak through the curtains. The time on the coffee maker reads 4:59 a.m. Coffee sounds good right about now. I search the cupboards and, luckily, I find half a container. As I wait for the coffee to brew, I lean against the edge of the sink and stare out the kitchen window. The silence is deafening. It's too early to start thinking so I turn on the small CD player attached to one of the cupboards. Dad's still sleeping so I lower the volume.

"Grrrrrr, you have got to be kidding me." I grumble. Fantastic! Just what I need first thing in the morning . . . damn Rick Astley and damn his soulful love songs . . . I don't need this right now. This has got to belong to mom. I can't handle it right now, please not right now I plead as I continue to stare out the kitchen window. I desperately try to ignore the tune gritting my teeth squeezing my eyes shut. I can't bear the sound of his voice right now but his words tunnel through my ears and invade my thoughts.

_My heart starts breaking, When I think of making, A plan to let you go, I keep thinking maybe tomorrow, I'm gonna let you know . . . But when I think about leaving, I think about losing, The only love I ever knew, Every time I think of you . . ._

_My heart starts aching, my hands keep shaking, and you know, you know, you know . . . _

_It would take a strong, strong man to ever let you go (To ever let you go) (To ever let you go) . . ._

_My heart's been hurting, when I see you flirting, Every night out on the floor, I keep thinking maybe tomorrow, You'll grow to love me more, But whenever we're together, I could leave you never, Even though you treat me cruel, Every time I look at you . . ._

_My heart starts aching, My hands keep shaking, And you know, you know, you know . . ._

_It would take a strong, strong man to ever let you go (To ever let you go) (To ever let you go) . . ._

_I tried to resist you, when you're gone, All I ever do is miss you, Anyone in love would know_

_Anyone with half a heart, Could never let you go, But I when I think about leaving, I think about losing The only girl I ever loved, Can't you tell me why do you hurt me, I guess some people never see especially a fool like me . . . _

_My heart starts aching, My hands keep shaking, And you know, you know, you know . . ._

_It would take a strong, strong man, To ever let you go, To ever let you go (To ever let you go)…_

_I'll never let you go (To ever let you go) (To ever let you go) (To ever let you go) (To ever let you go)_

Despite my reluctance, I can't help but heed the words of Mr. Astley. Mom's right. A person can live their life taking advice from his songs. I must admit that man's words have never been truer. I am a strong man _and_ I am not going to let Bella go no matter what she does or says. My thoughts are distracted by the sound of an approaching siren. Suddenly, the piercing sound stops as a repeated banging on the front door begins.

I'm startled at the unexpected intrusion. I peek out one of the curtains and spy a police cruiser parked out front. The blue lights still swirling atop the roof of the car. confused as to why a police car is at the front door I slowly open it . . .

"Bella," I gasp.

**A/N:** Please review if you liked what you read . . . or didn't like what you read. Reviews make me happy and when I'm happy I write faster (wink wink). My goal is 500 reviews; please make it happen people. "It Would Take A Strong, Strong Man" sung by favorite ginger Mr. Rick Astley and written by Matthew Aitken, James Waterman, Peter Alan and Michael Stock. I promise next chapter will be a Bella and Edward reunion for those of you who are frustrated with the slow burn.


	39. Chapter 39 When You Love Someone

**A/N:** LOL! I'm watching The X Factor UK as I'm working on this chapter and Stevie sang "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Mr. Rick Astley! I love the Brits . . . even Simon Cowell. Remember, this is not beta'd so all mistakes are mine. I don't mind if you tell me that way I can go back and revise. Please send me a review and let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer: **Twilight by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad. I don't own anything related to The Big Bang Theory either and I didn't sing or write any of the songs by Mr. Rick Astley.

**Chapter 39 "When You Love Someone"**

_**BPoV**_

Trying to get comfortable, I fluff my pillow over and over but nothing seems to work. Frustrated, I smoother my face into the deflated pillow and scream . . . _urgh_. I can't sleep to save my life. After my mini-meltdown, I lay on my back staring into the darkness waiting for the first light of day, waiting for the start of my new life. Ever since Esme mentioned that Edward was staying overnight at their cabin, I haven't been able to think of anything but him and what I put him through . . . and I'll be lucky if he ever speaks to me again. Sleep eludes me; my body and mind is a whirlwind of energy. I've woken up more times than I can count waiting for morning, waiting to see Edward and plead, no beg, for his forgiveness.

Seriously, how does she expect me to go back to sleep knowing that we are separated by only a few miles? I glance at the clock; it's 4:27. Grrrrrr, I pound both my fist into the mattress this time. That's it, I'm getting up. I take a quick shower and dress warmly making sure to slip on _our_ hoodie. I know it's early but I make a quick call to the night nurse on duty to check on Charlie. The night nurse reassures me that he slept comfortably through the night; I tell her I will be there later today. I grab the keys to the cruiser and lock up the house. I sit in the car as it warms while double checking the directions to the cabin.

Between the scattered clouds, I spy the twinkling a few remaining stars. The deep blue early morning sky lightens as I follow Esme's directions toward the cabin. I'll wait in the car until dawn breaks. "Oh, to hell with breaking dawn," I scream to myself. "As soon as I get there, I'm going to bang on that door down and plead with Edward to forgive me. If I have to, I will crawl on my hands and knees to get _my_ man back. And, once I get him back, I'm going to do everything I can to show him how much I love him . . . and how important he is to me. I'm a fucking idiot to ever think I could live without him."

I know it's not that far away but I feel like I can't get to the cabin fast enough. Edward's presence pulls me toward him. _I was a fool to ever deny our instantaneous crazy cosmic electric connection and even a bigger idiot to try and break that connection._ The roads are fairly dry this morning so I speed up a bit. It's bad enough I'm driving the police cruiser without permission but now because I'm speeding I flip on the siren. What the hell, there is only one car ahead of me and it needs to get out of my way _now_. I leave the siren running as I pull up in front of the Cullen's cabin until I realize Edward and Carlisle must still be sleeping. _How can Edward be asleep at a time like this? _I hit but miss the siren switch as I jet out the car and run up the stairs. _Bang . . . . bang . . . bang . . . bang . . . bang . . . bang . . ._

**EPoV**

I'm startled at the much too early unexpected morning intrusion. I peek out one of the curtains and spy a police cruiser parked out front. The blue lights still swirl atop the roof of the car. I open the door . . .

"Bella," I gasp in shock seeing her on the other side of the door.

Mid bang, I open the door wider as she stumbles forward and nearly falling to her knees. I stoop down just in time for her to fall straight into my welcoming arms. _She smells of freesia and strawberry and wisteria . . . and I've missed her scent._ I lift her up but she immediately pulls her arms away as if I shocked her. We stand toe to toe, heartache to heartache staring into each other's confused anxious eyes until Bella's eyes suddenly pop wide open. Inexplicably, she smacks her hand over her mouth. Frantically, her head moves side to side in search of something but, of what, I don't know.

"Bathroom," she mumbles through her hand as her face pales.

I point in the direction of the nearest bathroom and she takes off sprinting. With long strides, I follow close behind just in time to see her body tremble as she heaves into the toilet. I kneel down next to her pulling her loose hair away from her face as she continues to dry heave. A thin layer of sweat blanket her pasty face as her body shivers. I rub soothing circles on her back.

With a sore croaky voice, Bella orders me out as she tries to push me away with a weak shove. "Edward . . . get out . . . you don't need . . . to see this . . . please leave."

"You're obviously sick Bella. I'm not leaving you alone so stop pushing me away. I'm a doctor remember."

And then the heaves return in full force. Grabbing hold of the toilet's sides, Bella groans as she continues to vomit in between jumbled commands for me to leave the room.

I, on the other hand, continue to ignore her pleas holding her hair away from her face and rubbing soothing circles on her back. The dry heaves finally subside but she is still quite pale and shaky. She rests her forehead on her arm and takes several slow cleansing breaths before. I help Bella stand on wobbly legs leading her to the sink. She grabs hold of the edge for support.

From down the hall I hear dad's voice grow louder as he approaches the bathroom. "Edward? Edward what's wrong son? Are you sick? What's the matter? I heard . . . hear a siren out front. Did you call . . ." There's a pause in his concerned voice as he spies Bella. "Bella, Bella what's wrong?"

Bella rests her forehead on her arm again swaying it back and forth. "Oh God, kill me now, just kill me now," she groans.

I turn to my anxious dad. "Dad, would you mind giving us a moment please?" I tilt my head toward the direction of the door.

"Oh yeah, sure son," an embarrassed dad looks to Bella and then back to me. "I'll just go out and . . . um check on that siren."

With her forehead still resting on her arm, Bella moans, "Edward, please I've got this. You don't have to stay with me."

"Bella I am not leaving you. You're obviously weak. I'm not leaving you here alone. What if you passed out and hit your head. No, I'm not leaving your side. Now stop trying to push me away like you always do." I rinse out a small washcloth with cool water and wipe away the sweat from her forehead.

Bella's places her shaky hand atop mine and, despite our current relationship troubles, we both feel that cosmic electrical connection. I slip my hand away as she continues to wipe her face.

"Thanks," Bella meekly whispers.

Standing behind Bella, my eyes fix on her every move through the mirror's reflection but _she_ refuses to meet _my_ eyes. Instead, her downcast gaze remains focused on the sink and her shaky hands and the soap dish and anything but my eyes. She rinses her mouth still avoiding my gaze.

"Edward, I'm feeling better now. If you can give me a minute, I'd like to use the umm . . ." Bella eyes the toilet.

My voice full of worry, "Are you sure?"

She nods weakly. "I'll be fine."

I step just outside the bathroom door. "I'll be right here just in case. Don't lock the door," I warn. Standing just outside the door, I look around at nothing in particular and I realize the police siren has stopped.

Dad walks back in the cabin rubbing his arms together. "Is she okay?"

"She stopped vomiting."

"I'll go see if there's any tea in the kitchen. It might help to settle her stomach."

It's only been a minute or so but seems like an eternity waiting for the door to reopen. When Bella finally opens the door she appears pale and weak. All I want to do is take her in my arms, care for her and . . . never let her go.

"Are you feeling better? You look pale Bella." I place my hand to her cheek. "You don't feel like you have a fever. That's a good sign."

"I'm sorry about that. I'm fine . . . nerves I guess." She stutters.

And, until dad calls out that he's found some tea, we stand inches apart in an inexplicably unwelcoming awkward silence. _God I've missed touching her . . . holding her in my arms. _ I lead Bella to the kitchen lightly resting my hand on the low of her back savoring the slightest of connections.

I pull a kitchen chair out for Bella. The room is silently unnerving as the sound of the leg sliding along the floor shatters the silence like one of those screeching horror movie sounds. Dad turns in our direction and I notice a strange look passing between Bella and him. Bella suddenly finds something fascinating about the kitchen table top as Dad looks to me then, just as hastily, is occupied with preparing the tea. Something strange is definitely afoot.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and take a seat opposite Bella who still hasn't uttered a single sound. Instead, she remains fixed and fascinated by the kitchen table top. Dad places the tea cup in front of Bella and clears his throat.

"Um, this should settle your stomach Bella. I'm just going to um," dad pauses looking to me obviously uncomfortable at the present moment, "um, I'm just going back to my room. It's still pretty early," he takes a peak out the kitchen window, "I'm going back to sleep for an hour or so. Let me know if the tea doesn't help . . . um," he clears his throat again. "Um okay, good night . . . I mean good morning . . . or whatever. I'll see you both later," dad mumbles as he anxiously makes his way back to his room leaving Bella and me all alone.

Weakly, Bella calls out, "Thank you Carlisle," as she wraps her hands around the steaming tea cup.

And, just like that the awkward silence returns.

_**EsPoV**_

"Alice," I call out, "this is the last time I'm telling you. I'm leaving as soon as my coffee finishes brewing and then I'm outta here . . . with or without you woman," I warn for the last time.

"For goodness sakes mother, what time is it?" Alice's voice is husky with sleep as she rubs her eyes. "It's the middle of the night."

"No it's not; it's nearly five. I'm so late. I wanted to be on the road a half an hour ago." I glance at the brewing coffee. "You have ten minutes young lady and then I'm outta here. I don't want to hit the morning commuter traffic."

Alice knows I'm dead serous by the way she charges back up the stairs. I hear her shower instantly turn on and, in a matter of moments, turn off. It's a world record for Alice. She's dressed in a comfortable pair of flannel pajama bottoms, her college hoodie and a pair of fuzzy Christmas slippers.

Examining her attire, I arch my left brow as she shrugs her shoulders.

"I'm not missing this for the world. I'll change later," she laughs as she prepares two tumblers of coffee. "Besides I'm sleeping on the way up there. Oh, I forgot my pillow. I'll be right back." She runs up the stairs in lighting speed.

And, as I warned, we are out the door in ten minutes flat and on the road.

_**BPoV**_

I feel Edward's glare but I can't look up into his confused . . . or pained . . . enraged eyes, at least, not after everything I said to him yesterday. And after my barf-fest, I've got to get my bearings first. _Smack to forehead . . . Fan-fucking-tastic. I might as well have worn a sign reading 'I'm pregnant.' _ I stare into the warm tea cup Carlisle hastily placed in front of me before he retreated back to his room to escape the more than touchy situation.

With this awkward silence between us, I wonder if Edward hears the pounding of my heart or notices how rapidly my chest rises and lowers. _What the heck happened . . . I was all gung ho with getting my man back and now that he's in front of me I can't seem to find my words or my courage . . . I'm such a coward._ I groan involuntarily and break the silence but it is Edward who speaks first.

"What are you doing Bella?" Edward asks.

It's a simple rational question but I'm more taken by the cold monotone sound of his voice until the unsettling image of Edward in his Armani tuxedo and Tanya in her picture perfect wedding dress pops in and out of my head. And, all rational thought is gone.

"Do you love her?" I whisper as tears fill my eyes. _Yup, definitely irrational hormonal pregnancy tears._

"Love who?" Edward whispers back.

And the craziness begins. "Tanya," I scream whisper but still not look into his eyes. "How could you marry her Edward? I was there!" My voice rises as I finally look into his eyes his forehead creased with confusion. "You knew I was there and . . . _tearful_ _hiccup . . . _and you married her anyway," I shout as I wipe away my treacherous tear. _I was going to be so forceful . . . so strong and instead I'm blubbering like a little girl._ "You could sense that I was at the church and you still married someone else . . . you married . . . you married . . . you marriedTanya," I cry. "And Esme and Alice was there too. How could momma bear let you marry Tanya? . . . _hiccup and tears_ . . . oh my god, she must really hate me too now." _Let the waterworks begin. _My face falls into my hands as I cry uncontrollably.

"What do you care who I marry?" Edward's voice is cold, angry. "You don't want me. You make that abundantly clear yesterday remember?" he shouts. "You said you want to live your own life. You said you had so many other important things you still wanted to do with your life. You told me to go on with my mine . . . _you_ told me to call Tanya," Edward spits out her name as he points a finger in my direction, "since she fits so perfectly with _my_ plans so well . . . well that's what I did but . . ." He pauses as his chest mimics mine rapidly rising up and down. "Wait a minute. What are _you_ talking . . . what are _we_ talking about. I didn't marry Tanya but I did have a dream . . ." Edward's voice drifts off.

I whimper as I wipe away my tears with my sleeve in an effort to explain my irrational outburst. "Last night I had a dream . . . no a nightmare you married Tanya. It was so real." I hiccup. "It broke my heart seeing you marrying anyone but me," I weep. _I'm such a cry baby these days._

"I had a strange dream last night too. I dreamt I married Tanya even though I knew you were watching me. I think I married her out of spite . . . more to get even with you for pushing me away without any explanation. Isn't it strange that even when you try to push my away, we still share this unexplainable connection?" Edward chortles. "We even share the same dreams . . . nightmare. Doesn't that tell you something about us Bella?"

I burst into tears all over again but this time I also felt the urge to heave. I try to ignore the imminent urge but fail. Once again, my eyes pop open; I smack my hand over my mouth, leap from my chair and return to my new best friend, Mr. Toilet, for round two. And, just like the first time, Edward follows close behind. This time isn't as bad, but after rinsing my mouth, I look into the eyes of a worried Edward.

"Bella, what's going on? Please enough of the crazy . . . talk to me. I'm so worried about you. I know something is wrong. Talk to me please."

We return to the kitchen table. I sip on my tea as he sips on his coffee; our eyes meet. _This is it, honesty no matter what . . . honesty, I think as I gaze longingly into his worried eyes. _My hands shake as I place the tea cup back on the table. Edward unwearyingly waits as I take a long encouraging breath.

This is it; it's now or never. And, with a humbling determination, I bite the bullet; swallow what little pride I have left before looking directly into his soulful emerald green eyes. _Oh how I've missed your beautiful eyes._ Worried, Edward returns my gaze. And, after all the lies I've told, I pray he will understand my words are true and honest and sincere. Before I speak, I clear my throat. "First, let me say that I am so, so sorry for the way I've treated you the last couple of days." I feel my tears return but I fight them back; I need to be strong. "I'm a liar and a fraud . . . and I am such coward. I tried to be strong for everyone but . . ." I pause as I rise from my chair, walk around the table to Edward and fall to my knees making the grand gesture. "I am begging you Edward, on bended knees, to please forgive me for the unforgiveable inexcusable way I treated you and the way I deceived you. I never _ever, ever_ meant to hurt you . . . I love you Edward so much . . . I love you so much. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. Please believe me." I cry.

Edward gasps at my actions. "Bella get off your knees." His long fingers wrap around each of my arms pulling me up and onto his lap. _Oh, how I've missed his long skillful fingers . . . most definitely pregnancy hormones._ He wraps his strong forgiving arms around me as I instinctively lay my head against his chest. I feel his rapid heartbeat against my face. I am surrounded by his scent; I breathe him in. So naturally, I mold my body to his. _I am home._

I don't deserve his act of kindness but I promised to be honest. "My father's sick Edward . . ."

He pulls away from me in shock then holds on to me even tighter. "Bella, I knew something was wrong! Why didn't you . . ."

"Please," I interrupt, "let me get this all out, please." I continue, "My father had a stroke; he's in intensive care right now. It's bad, really bad. He's going to need around the clock care once he's released from the hospital," I take a deep breath as Edward silently listens. "I can't go back to Seattle. I can't leave my father here alone. I'm all he has," I cry. "I've got to stay here and take care of him."

"Oh Bella you should have told me as soon as it happened. You shouldn't have gone through this all alone. I would have dropped everything to be here with you. You must know that."

I sniffle, "Don't you see. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen. I can't . . . I won't ask you to give up everything you have worked your entire life for me. You're just starting your residency . . . you still have a long way to go. You can't just drop everything to help me. Your career is too important to you; you've worked so hard."

"Bella, you silly woman, you are the most important thing in world to me. Don't you know that by now? No matter how hard you tried to cut me out of your life, you were never going to get rid of me. I'll never give you up. I love you so, so much my Bella. _You_ are my everything, you are my world."

I'm a blubbering fool at his declaration. "Momma bear warned me that, if I kept pushing you away, you might do something stupid like marry Tanya," I cry, "because she said that men sometimes do stupid things when it comes to love and . . . and Tanya fits so perfectly into your plans and I don't and . . . maybe that's way I had that awful horrible nightmare. And, then I called you and you wouldn't answer your phone . . . I thought I had lost you for good . . . that's when I called momma bear. I told her how sorry I was for everything and . . . . _hiccup _ . . . and that's when she told me you were still here and she gave me the directions and that's why I'm here," I ramble.

Edward chuckles as he tells me to slow down and breathe. "You called my mom?"

I silently nod against his chest taking comfort in his beating heart. Now we sit in comforting silence as Edward rest his head on mine and I snuggle closer. He holds on to me tighter as I wrap my arms around him. "I was an idiot to ever think of letting you go," I whisper. "I would never survive without my other half . . . without you."

"I've missed you so much these past few weeks my Bella." Edward tugs a few strands of my hair, "I even miss your deep violet highlights. I wouldn't be opposed to you coloring your hair again," he playfully suggests.

_Honesty, always honesty from now on no matter what I had promised myself so here goes nothing. _"Um speaking of hair coloring, is it true pregnant women aren't supposed to dye their hair?" I stutter.

"Well that's a strange question Bella and not really my field of study but, from what I understand, some studies have suggested an association between the use of hair dye during pregnancy and the development of the childhood cancer neuroblastoma while other studies have contradicted the results . . ." midsentence, Edward pauses.

Bingo! And, there it is. In between his medical explanation of hair coloring and pregnancy, he's figured out the real meaning behind my off topic question. _My Dr. Cullen is one smart cookie . . . maybe even smarter than Sheldon Cooper smarter._

"Bella?"

My eyes fill with tears as I look into _his_ questioning eyes. I blink and the tears fall down my cheeks. I smile a watery sealed lip smile and shrug my shoulders before I speak. "Honestly, I don't know for sure. Between the stress of dealing with my father's stroke and the thought of never seeing you again" I take a deep breath, ". . . I haven't been feeling very well. I'm exhausted all the time from the stress . . . and I haven't been able to keep my food down when I do feel like eating. If it's true, I'm so sorry Edward," I sob. "I know this isn't part of your plan. I've messed up everything . . . I'm so sorry." I weep into his chest. "And I cry all the time now. I've never been much of a crier but now . . ." I cry even more.

Edward carries me to the living room. We lay together. I rest my head on his chest tucking one hand under my chin and grab hold of his shirt with the other. Edward rubs my back as he whispers words of love and assuring me everything is going to be fine. I nod in agreement. _This has been one hell of a morning and it's not even six yet. I'm exhausted._ For a long time, we take comfort wrapped in each other's arms until we both fall asleep. 

My slumber is interrupted, I think I hear Carlisle say he's going to the hospital to see Dr. Gerandy and then to pick up some groceries. He tells Edward that Esme called and is on her way. She and Alice should be here in a couple of hours. I feel a blanket drape over my back as I snuggle deeper into Edward's chest. I think I hear a door close.

"Bella," Edward whispers with a sleepy voice.

"Hmm."

"Bella, I love you," he whispers into my hair.

"I love you too," I whisper into his chest before lifting my face and capture his lips. _Morning breath be damned._

I suck in Edward's luscious lower lip as he takes my upper lip. Our tongues dance at their reunion until I greedily dominate and suck his. All thoughts of sleep are gone. Lying side to side now, our hands roam and savor every missed touch. I hitch my leg over his hip pulling him closer to where I need him the most. _I've missed this so much. How could I have ever thought I could live without him . . . without this? _From the feel of his long steel cock resting against my heated core, I know he's missed me too . . . needs this too. My hips push into his as I begin to place more pressure against his hot hard cock. Edward hisses in pleasure praying my name; my mouth waters. He flips me onto my back as I desperately try to free him of his flannel bottoms. One of Edward's hands makes its way under my hoodie massaging my aching breast. He pushes my hoodie up to free my breasts, licks his way up to my pebbled nub. He licks then bites down on my sensitive nipple before hungrily suck it deeper into his mouth. I can't breathe from the pleasure he is giving me. One of his long skillful fingers enters my wet core. I'm more than ready for him; I hiss as he enters a second finger. My breathing escalates as I beg for more . . . as I beg for what I need . . . _we_ need.

"Edward, please I need you now," I beg. "It's been too long."

"This is going to be fast and hard . . . it _has_ been too long," he hisses.

"Less talking more fucking," I order. I open my legs wider before wrapping them around his waist. I need him to be in me as deep as humanly possible.

"Your wish is my command." Edward slams into me then stills for a moment. We relish the sensation of our reconnection . . . hot and hard and wet and silky smooth steel and pure heaven. Then Edward pulls almost all the way out before slamming into me again and finding his rhythm.

"Harder Edward," I demand through gasps of raw pleasure. "I've missed you so much Edward." I moan as he pounds into me.

"Come with me baby." Edward's thumb rubs my engorged nub.

I see flashes of white stars as my body quivers in pure unadulterated pleasure as Edward pounds a few more sporadic thrusts. He drops his head on my chest resting his ear to my heart. I rest my chin on his head wrapping my arms around his back.

"Heaven," Edward prays.

"Heaven," I agree.

**A/N:** I thought I'd leave you with a little lemony goodness before Esme and Alice arrive and the craziness begins all over again. There's still a lot the Edward and Bella have to discuss but that can wait until later. I didn't think any of you would mind (wink wink). I got the information about dyeing hair during pregnancy from the internet because I'm no doctor. I even through in the title of one of Rick Astley's most famous 80s songs in the mix. Did you catch it? If you enjoyed this chapter, please send me a review. As always, reviews make me happy.


	40. Chapter 40 Nature's Gift

**A/N: **Another small surprise (pun intended). This isn't a full chapter and, with a brief appearance from Carlisle, the entire chapter is only Edward and Bella. I thought this part of the story needed to be only the two of them. **A huge thank you to sujari6, , acw1, alc1002, Vivi H88, guest, cctwilight, snoopylover60, cullenmeadow and Edward's Baby Bella for your support and reviews. **Edward's baby Bella, this chapter should answer why he didn't (wink wink). "Nature's Gift" is sung by Rick Astley and written by Andy Morris, Ian Owen Devaney, Lisa Stansfield and Rick Astley. Hopefully, the next full chapter will be up by Friday fingers crossed.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad. I don't own anything related to The Big Bang Theory either and I didn't sing or write any of the songs by Mr. Rick Astley.

**Chapter 40 "Nature's Gift"**

**EPoV**

Finally, Bella's breathing is even. I feel her chest slowly rise up and down. She smiles against my chest dreaming a sweet dream. She's out for the count. _Yup, she's either pregnant or stressed or I wore her out with our quickie reunion or all three._ A lopsided grin spreads across my face thinking about the fact that she may be carrying my child. My heart races a bit faster at the thought. Carefully, I slide my arms around her limp body and lift her into my arms carrying her to my room. I place her on the bed molding my body to hers gently placing one hand just below her bellybutton . . . over _our_ growing baby. This is the first time in weeks my body and mind has been able to really relax. I cover our molded bodies with the warm blankets and fall back to sleep.

I awake to a light tapping on the bedroom door. "Come in," I whisper leaning up on one elbow.

"Sorry to bother you son," dad whispers looking to a still sleeping Bella. He carefully waves then drops a small plastic bag near the bed. "Mom will be here soon. You and Bella might want to get up and um . . . um take care of that," he looks to the bag, "before mom gets here." He closes the door. I reach over Bella and pick up the bag. I look inside to see a home pregnancy test actually there are a couple of boxes. Bella stirs from her sleep as I dip her side of the bed.

Bella stretches as she mumbles, "How did I get here?" And, for the third time this morning, Bella smacks her hand over her mouth barely making it to the bathroom before she vomits into the toilet.

I smile triumphantly; I knocked up _my _Bella. We're going to have a little baby Cullen. _She's definitely pregnant but I better confirm my diagnosis just to be on the safe side. _ I grab the bag waiting at the doorway. The bag swings precariously on my finger as I wait for Bella to rinse her mouth and wash the sweat from her face. She gives me a weak acquiescent smile and shrug. "Edward, give me a minute. I need to use the toilet."

"No, you need to do this first." I stretch my arm out swinging the plastic bag in front of her face.

A confused look spreads across her face; her forehead wrinkles. "What? What's in the bag?"

I remove the pregnancy test and smile. Like a game show model, I place the box on the palm of my hand and wave my other across the front of the package.

"Really?" Bella's eye pop open but not to vomit this time.

"Really." I open the box pulling out the midstream urine stick. "You need to urinate on the stick and then we wait three minutes. Two lines display a positive result, a single line is negative." I hand the stick to Bella.

She giggles at the seriousness of my instructions as she carefully takes the stick from my hand. "So doc, what you're telling me is that I gotta pee on the stick and wait three minutes to see if you knocked me up. Got it," she laughs. "Um Edward, do you mind." She raises her eyebrows and waves me out of the room.

I move my head side to side. "Nope, we're in this together remember . . . together forever. I'm not leaving your side, never again."

"Edward! I can't pee with you standing here," she giggles. "You're being silly."

"Nope, I'm not leaving this room. I'll turn around and stand over here in the corner; it's called a compromise."

"You're serious aren't you?"

"Yup" I smirk before turning my back to her and positioning myself in the farthest corner of the bathroom. _In reality, it's not that far away from the toilet._

"Well, at least, cover your ears." Bella jokes. "God this is so embarrassing. I've never peed in front of someone before."

Without saying a word, I place my hands over my ears as she begins to uncomfortably urinate.

She taps me on my shoulder, "All done," waving the stick in front of my face before placing the stick on the bathroom counter top.

We walk back to the bedroom and check the clock on the nightstand. "Okay, three minutes," we say in unison. Together we sit on the edge of the bed. Our nervous fingers tangle together as we wait impatiently for the three longest minutes of our lives to pass.

Bella clears her throat. "Are you scared?"

I smirk, "Nope. Are you?"

"Yup," she slowly nods her head.

"Don't be. Everything will be fine." I pat my free hand on out entangled hands as she rests her head on my shoulder letting out a deep breath.

Even though I can't see the control lines on the stick, I keep my eyes on it. Bella peeks over her should and announces times up.

"Dun, dun, dun," she jokes as she swipes her finger across her throat.

We rise and walk back to the bathroom hand in hand. Bella picks up the stick but turns it over before either of us has a chance to look at the results.

"Together okay . . . let's close our eyes and, on the count of three, we look at the exact same time."

I nod in agreement. We count, "One . . . two . . . three," and simultaneously open our eyes.

Bella's eyes remain fixed on the double lines as it is _now_ my turn to slowly drop to _my_ knees. I place my shaky hand just below Bella's navel and gently kiss _our_ baby for the first time. Bella's hands weave into my hair as her body shakes with tears of happiness. Slowly, she falls to her knees as she wipes her tears away. She looks deep into my eyes before she speaks.

"Hi daddy," her voice filled with love.

"Hi mommy," I whisper back before we kiss with all the love we have to give.

**A/N: Please let me know what you think. Reviews make me about as happy as Edward and Bella's news. My new goal is 500 reviews. I'd love for you to help me to reach my goal.**


	41. Chapter 41 Enough Love

**A/N: **Sorry, I was hoping to have this chapter up by Halloween but big fail on my part. Please forgive me. I thank all of those who left me a review. My goal is to 500 reviews for this chapter. Help a gal out! As always, this is not beta'd so all mistakes are mine.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad. I don't own anything related to The Big Bang Theory either and I didn't sing or write any of the songs by Mr. Rick Astley.

**Chapter 41 "Enough Love" **

**EPoV**

Bella's eyes remain fixed on the double lines as it is now my turn to slowly drop to my knees. I place my shaky hand just below Bella's navel and gently kiss our baby for the first time. Bella's hands weave into my hair as her body shakes with tears of happiness. A moment later, she slowly drops to her knees as she wipes her tears away. She looks deep into my eyes before she speaks.

"Hi daddy," her voice filled with love.

"Hi mommy," I whisper back before we kiss with all the love we have to give.

I feel tears squeeze between our faces as Bella breaks our kiss. I smile and she smiles a trembling smile until her happy smile morphs into a face of utter pain. Her contorted face drops into her hands as her shoulders shake and the sounds of painful sobs escape.

"Baby, what's the matter?" I envelope her in my arms, slide onto the edge of the bed while I attempt to console an uncontrollably sobbing Bella in my arms. "This is happy news Bella. Are you not happy about this pregnancy?"

Her sobs grow louder as she cries into my chest. "What . . . _sob_ . . . what am I . . . _hysterical sob_ . . . what am I going to do Edward . . . _hysterical sob_ . . . I don't even a have a real job." She grabs onto my shirt as she shakes. "How am I . . . _hiccup_ . . . how am I going to take care of a baby . . . _hysterical sob_ . . . and my father. What am I going to do? Oh my God, what am I going to do? . . . _gasps for air_ . . . _gasps for more_ air . . . Edward . . . I can't breathe . . ."

Bella's breathing becomes erratic; she's nearing a panic attack. This is not healthy for her or _our_ baby. I need to get her to relax and her breathing under control stat. She tries to pull away from me as I cup her face into my hands forcing her to look at me. "Look at me baby," I softly command. "Look at me. Stop crying . . . now, slowly breathe in some deep cleansing breaths . . . in and out like this," I demonstrate by inhaling slowly through my nose and exhaling slowly. "Come on Bella . . . just like this," I repeat the demonstration. After several attempts at controlling her breathing, Bella's breathing is finally regulated and calm.

I sit Bella on my lap rubbing small calming circles on her back, she snuggles into my chest. Sporadically, she takes deep breathes causing her body to shudder. "Bella, you need to understand something right here, right now." I use a soothing but commanding voice as I lift her chin gazing directly into her eyes. "You are not in this alone. Do you understand me? _We,"_ I stress waving a finger between the two of us, "_we _are going to have a baby not just you . . . me _and_ you. _I_ will be with you during the entire pregnancy," I pause. "After all, I was there at the conception," chuckling as I try to lighten the mood.

Bella smiles weakly and nods. Her voice is barely audible as she slowly speaks, "I know Edward. It's . . . it's . . . all of this is too overwhelming . . . I've always done everything on my own. I've always been the one to handle everything . . . take care of my dad . . . I just don't feel comfortable asking other people for help or for people to do things for me. It's not in my nature."

I let out a hearty chuckle. "Baby, don't you know by now, I'm not just some stranger . . . I love you, we're having a baby . . . you _are_ my family . . . you are my life now . . . and, whether you like it or not, I'm going to take care of you and _our_ baby from here on out . . . forever. Got it?"

"And what about my dad Edward," she whimpers. "I can't leave him here all alone; he needs me _now_ more than ever." Bella nervously wrings her hands in worry.

Dragging our bodies toward the head of the bed, I lay on my back as Bella instinctively lays her head on my chest. Our legs tangle, protectively, my arms wrap around her fretful body as she snuggles up closer to me; I feel our hearts beating in unison. For some time, we do not speak; we simply take comfort in each other's arms. I worry about Bella's emotional state of mind until one of my hands rest protectively over our child. My thoughts morph from worry to utter happiness. I am beyond happy; I am ecstatic . . . no, I am euphoric at the thought of _our_ child growing in the womb of this magnificent and silly and beautiful woman that I love more than words can say. _But what if Bella doesn't share my joy? What if what she had told me about not being ready to settle down was true? My heart aches at the very thought. I need to know if she is as happy as I am about our child so I break the silence._ "What are you thinking about?" I murmur in a uneasy tone.

Bella speaks in a subdued tone. "I was thinking about my dad in the hospital and then," she sighs, ". . . and then I was thinking I hope _our_ baby has your eyes and hair color," Bella stifles a few giggles, "but then I was thinking as soon as our baby is born momma bear is going to kidnap her . . . or um him. Edward, you _do_ realize that once our baby is born we'll never see her . . . or him ever again."

At Bella's last comment, our laughter reverberates throughout the room. She _is_ as happy as I am about _our_ baby. "Unfortunately, I think you're right babe. Maybe we just won't tell her about the baby," I joke through my chuckles.

"I'd love to have a girl," she sighs. "I don't think I was ever a girly girl but, for some reason, I'd love to have a little girl and maybe," she giggles, "one day show her how to dye her hair violet. Oh, can you just see it! Violet hair and green eyes," she laughs until her laugh turns into a sigh. "But you probably want a boy huh?

"To be honest, I'm just happy that _we_ are having a baby. This is too new . . . I haven't had enough time to think about the sex of our baby yet."

With a surprised expression on her face, Bella leans up onto my chest. "Hey! Where did you get the pregnancy test from anyway?"

I clear my throat knowing she's not going to like my answer. "I guess my dad thought we might need one after all your vomiting. He bought it this morning."

Bella drops her head back on my chest and groans in embarrassment. "Really, oh God, kill me now . . . again."

"Bella, he's a doctor. You vomited twice this morning. I'm fairly sure he figured pregnancy might be one of the possibilities."

Bella simply nods resting her head back on my chest; we snuggle closer. We don't speak; words aren't necessary. Without a doubt, I know everything is going to work out for my little family and a silly lopsided grin spreads across my face as I squeeze Bella closer to me.

"Edward," Bella whispers into my chest, "I love you so much." She takes a deep cleansing breath before she continues, ". . . I know this baby wasn't part of your plan but . . ."

I don't give her a chance to finish her sentence. I lift her face to mine; her searching eyes gaze directly into mine. Silently, I plead . . . no urge her to look deep into my heart and my soul. She must understand, without any doubt, that what I am about to say I say with my entire being. Momentarily, I pause to gather my thoughts anxious that my words will truly express all that I am feeling. "Bella, what you don't understand is that the moment our fingers touched and ignited that crazy cosmic electric connection between us all my plans vanished into a puff of smoke. Bella, I love you. I love you more than my own life. Don't you know by now? You own me, all of me . . . my body . . . my heart and my soul? I'm yours and you're mine . . . _forever_." I place our hands over _our_ baby. ". . . and _this, this _is proof of our love. I know that sounds so cliché but it is true. I don't ever want you to think that you or our baby has ruined any plans. Before you, I had nothing . . . with you, I have everything." Softly, I place a gentle kiss to her lips. "I love you my Penny," I smile.

With teary eyes and a watery voice, Bella cries, "I love you too my Sheldon."

Bella stretches forward crashing her lips to mine. We breathe each other in as our tongues tangle. I pull our bodies closer together urgent to be one. Feeling her heart pound against my chest, our kisses grow more intense. I can't catch my breath as she inhales me in. Slowly, we remove the last of our clothing. When our eyes meet, our urgency slows. There are no words during our lovemaking. She looks deep into my soul seeing the full intensity of my love. We take pleasure in each electric touch . . . each kiss . . . each word of love. My body quivers as my aching cock enters her tight warm heaven. Time stills; our eyes remain locked as I pull out and in. I thrust in deep and slow. _I don't think I will ever get enough of her._ Bella locks her legs around my back meeting digging her heels into my ass as she meet each thrust with her own. The sound of our slick bodies slapping together fills the room. My thrusts become more frantic as my thumb circles Bella's clit. She lets out a silent cry of pleasure as my last erratic thrusts brings us to orgasm. We stay connected as our hearts slow and breathing calms. Slowly, I pull out of my heaven and place kisses down Bella's body. As before, I worship the spot just below Bella's bellybutton. She cries as her fingers weave in my hair. When I look up to my Bella, glistening tears slide down the sides of her face.

"Thank you for not giving up on me my love," Bella cries.

"Thank you for giving me _this_, my love," I cry as I rest my head on our child.

I feel Bella's body shake I look up to see her sobbing. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Oh Edward I'm so sorry I hurt you. I can't forgive myself for the things I said to you. You don't know how much it killed me to say the things I said. I will never ever forgive myself for hurting you like that. You do know I never meant anything I said don't you? I was so confused and worried about my dad I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so, so sorry." Her words heave between her uncontrollable sobs.

I pull her into my arms as she rests her head on my chest. "Bella not for one minute did I believe you didn't love me . . . not one single minute. I knew that something was wrong . . . that something was making you say the things that you did. I'm not going to lie . . . I was angry that you wouldn't talk to me," I chortle, "but I knew you were lying . . . keeping something from me. I knew it. You're not a very good liar Miss Swan. No matter how hard you tried to convince me you didn't want me in your life, I knew you were lying . . . you do know that don't you." I feel her head nod against my chest. "And when you tried to use that poor Jacob Black guy to make me jealous," I laugh, "poor guy he couldn't leave fast enough."

"Oh come on Edward, admit it. You were a little jealous. Admit it," Bella giggles. "And, to be quite honest, your reaction was sexy as hell. I had to force myself not to drag you into my house and have my wicked way with you."

"You did?"

She nods, "but admit it you _were_ jealous."

I concede. "Fine, I was more than a little jealous seeing you walk out of your house with another man. If you must know, I wanted to rip him apart limb by limb," I growl. "Satisfied? But from now on, truth and honesty . . . and we'll be just fine." I feel her head nod as she repeats our oath then tightens her grip on me.

We are quiet until I rise and place a chaste kiss to her lips, "Come on, we better get up. Let's hop into the shower then let's go make some breakfast and talk. We've got lots to talk about . . . to work out _together_," I emphasize, "and we need to feed _our_ little Penny or little Sheldon . . ."

Bella chortles, "Really Edward? Little Penny or little Sheldon? I don't think so."

In the shower, she continues to lecture me on the fact that our child is not going to be named after Penny or Sheldon as we quickly wash each other. Every so often she giggles and slaps my wicked hand away. I know she is distracting me from taking her in the shower. _I've really missed my girl . . . nothing wrong with making up for lost time especially in the shower._

While toweling off and redress, I notice she rinses the pregnancy stick before slipping it into the hoodie's pouch. I spy her looking into the mirror and she smiles her really silly happy _gonna be a mommy_ smile. Capturing my eyes in the mirror, she shakes her head reiterating, "You're not naming _my_ baby girl Penny." Her eyes sparkle with laughter.

"What," I whine. "What if we have a little girl and she has my hair color. Penny would be a perfect name for her you know like a copper penny Penny." I smile encouragingly.

"Yeah I know Edward but we are not naming our daughter after a character from The Big Bang Theory. No and that's final."

"Well, can we at least talk about it," I whine, "we've got plenty of time to pick out a name," and then I pause, "Hey, how far along do you think you are?"

Bella's eyes pop open. "Huh, I have no idea. Let's go make breakfast and try to figure it out. I'm starving and I need to go to the hospital to check on my father after I eat."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go with you. I know it's an awkward time but I'd really like to meet him. Maybe I can consult with his doctor . . . see if I can help in anyway."

Mid-step, Bella turns to me smashing her lips to mine again. As she pulls away breaking our kiss, my lips follow her for more lip loving. "I love you Dr. Cullen. I don't think you realize just how perfect you are."

"I love you too future mother of our baby Penny," I smirk as Bella narrows her eyes and mouths a resounding_ no_.

Bella cups my face in her hands slightly rubbing her palms on my overnight facial stubble. She whispers a soft sweet kiss on my lips. I breathe her in. "By the way, I'm kinda loving this whole outdoorsy look you got going here doc," she winks before holding on tightly to my hand.

I give her hand a reassuring squeeze as we make our way down the hall stopping mid-step when we hear the sound slamming car doors. I open the front door amused as we watch and listen to Alice complain that her slippers are going to be ruined by the rough gravel of the driveway.

"Mom, what are you going here," I call out.

Both Alice and mom look pass me, targeting an apprehensive looking Bella. Mom drops her purse and suitcase making a beeline to Bella. She traps Bella in the mother of all momma bear hugs as she weeps, "Oh my baby girl. I've missed you so much. I was so worried about you." Bella wraps her arms around mom as Alice joins the huddle. The three women sob at their reunion. Dad appears giving me a guilty grin. I shrug my shoulders. Into mom's shoulder, I hear Bella cry more apologetic cries.

Mom pulls away taking Bella's face in her tender hands, "Oh my sweet baby girl, there's nothing to apologize. I'm here for you and I am going to take care of everything okay. After all, what are mother's for if not for taking care of her children." Momma bear gives Bella one more bear hug before releasing her. Bella and mom wipe away reunion tears.

"I've missed you Bella. Don't ever leave us again," Alice warns as she wipes her tears.

"I've missed both of you so much." Her eyes sparkle with happy tears this time.

Dad walks over to me and whispers, "Is everything okay son?"

I understand his vague question. I don't want to give anything away until Bella and I discuss when and how to tell the rest of the family so I am evasive at best . . . for now. "Everything is perfect."

Mom interrupts our side conversation sliding up to dad placing a hello kiss to his lips. I clear my throat and walk away.

"Umm, Bella can I speak with you for just a moment?" I tilt my head and eyes in the direction of the living room.

Bella's brow furrows and follows me down the hall. "Is something wrong Edward?"

"No, no, no. Nothing is wrong. I need to ask you something in private; that's all . . . so ummm, dad didn't come right out and ask if you are pregnant but he did ask if everything is okay so I'm assuming he meant are you pregnant." I inhale and exhale then continue. "So are we going to announce that you're . . . I mean _we_ are pregnant or do you want to wait . . . you know keep it a secret for a bit?"

"Well since your dad bought the pregnancy test I really don't see how we can keep it a secret. More than likely he has already told momma bear of his suspicions _or_ will be telling her soon enough. So, let's just beat him to the punch." Bella shrugs her shoulders, "it's time to put on the big girl panties and face the music," she giggles, "or should I say face momma bear. Follow my lead okay."

"Okay boss."

Already in the kitchen, mom and Alice begin preparing food for lunch. I hear dad complaining about the music that plays in the background as mom ignores his grumbling. I pour Bella and myself a glass of orange juice. _My girl's gotta start taking care of herself now that she is carrying our baby._ A goofy lopsided grin spreads across my face . . . _our baby. _ I place the two glasses of juice on the table, take Bella's hand leading her to sit on my lap again. _I'm never gonna let her go ever again. _Bella rests her head against my chest and sighs.

I softly sing the song along to one of mom's favorite songs by her favorite ginger haired man . . . _Not so long ago my life was oh so easy, I did what I want, said what I want, I did what I want, said what I want, Not so long ago my life was oh so easy, I did what I want, said what I want, I did what I want, and then you came, Once in my life I found a joy like this, One special moment captured in a kiss, For the rest of my life I may never feel like this again, again . . ._

_I don't know if I'm ready, I hope I'm strong enough, To be a man that someone can depend on_

_I don't know if I'm ready, but I know I've got enough love . . ._

_As the days go by, I see that it's so easy, To do what I want, say what I want, Do what I want, say what I want, As the days go by, yeah I feel that it's so easy, To do what I want, say what I want, do what I want, And only once in my life I may find a joy like this, One special moment captured by a kiss, For the rest of my life I may never feel like this again, again . . . _

"I think I'm learning to appreciate why momma bear loves that redheaded soul man. He really knows what he's talking about." Bella wipes away random tears as she discreetly rests our hands over our baby.

"Eat up everyone," mom orders as she and Alice serves the plated food. At first, we eat in silence; the only sound being the clinking of the utensils against our plates. As we eat, I worry Bella's morning sickness might return before we make our announcement. I whisper for her eat to take small bites and chew slowly just to be on the safe side. She smiles and nods. I give a wink and she blushes. _She blushed_. I don't ever recall her blushing; she's glowing.

Bella finally breaks the silence. "I know we have a lot to talk about but first I want to apologize to Edward . . . and to all of you," she pauses looking to everyone at the table, "I am so, so sorry for my unforgiveable behavior these last few days. I honestly believed I was doing what was best for Edward." Bella places a wisp of a kiss to my lips, "I love you baby."

Mom attempts to interrupt her apology but Bella shakes her head no.

"Please momma bear, please let me finish. I need to say this. It's important. Clearly, I haven't been thinking logically. I've been under a lot of stress . . . and between the awful morning sickness," she gives me a sly wink, ". . . and the thought of never seeing Edward again . . ."

And, there it is; the high pitch scream of a momma bear registering that she is going to be a grandma bear.

Under the kitchen table, Bella slips the pregnancy stick into my hand and winks at me to take over. I wave the stick in front of my face. Mom and Alice are overcome with joy unsure what to do first. "I'm going to be a grandma bear," mom cries pulling Bella from my arms.

Bella turns to me as mom drags her away, "I was wrong Edward. She's going to steal our baby even before she's born." She giggles before returning mom's embrace.

"I can't wait to start shopping for my niece or nephew," screams Alice. Mom and Alice jump up and down as a cautious Bella looks to me to save her from the crazies.

I gently tug Bella back onto my lap. "Okay ladies, there will be no jumping up on down for my baby momma. She needs to eat. After all, she is eat for two now," I joke as momma bear and her cub roar louder.

A smug smile spreads across Dad's face.

After mom and Alice sit down to eat, the discussion of Bella's pregnancy is the main topic of discussion. To say that mom is more than disappointed to learn that dad suspected the pregnancy before her would be an understatement.

We laugh as mom harrumphs that she should have known first because she is going to be the baby's grandma bear. Logically, what she said made absolutely no sense but Bella appeases a sulking grandma bear _to be_ by requesting that mom get started on a special baby quilt for her fist born grandchild. That request does the trick. Mom is now transfixed on the quilt's design.

_**BPoV**_

I rest my fork on my plate, passing poppa bear a knowing glance before I begin to speak. "I guess it's time for me to explain my unforgiveable behavior." I draw in everyone's attention at my words. Edward takes my hand in his as I begin to speak. "My father suffered a stroke, a rather serious stroke. I don't really understand the medical lingo but currently the prognosis doesn't look good," I pause looking to poppa bear. "Poppa bear, perhaps you would like to take the floor." Bella arches a brow and grins.

Dad nearly spits out his juice.

"What? What are you talking about Bella? How would dad know about your father's condition? You just told me about your father s stroke this morning," Edward exclaims.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that poppa bear already consulted with Dr. Gerandy about my father's condition yesterday morning," Bella looks up to my dad, "didn't you poppa bear?"

Dad's still choking on his juice when Bella turns to mom. "And since poppa bear's all choked up right now perhaps you would like to explain my dad's condition momma bear."

Now it's momma bear's turn to choke on her water. "I umm, ummm . . ."

"Isn't there something about doctor/patient confidentiality Dr. Cullen," I joke and wink to poppa bear.

"Oh Bella don't you know by now there are no secrets in the Cullen family," Alice chimes in with a grin.

I send her wicked wink as momma and poppa bear recover.

Poppa bear clears his throat before he speaks. "Son, I was going to tell you about Chief Swan's condition last night but you were exhausted. I was worried about you; you passed out in the car."

I gasp at hearing that I had caused Edward so much stress. He whispers that he's fine now. I squeeze his comforting hand.

Carlisle continues, "last night was not an appropriate time to discuss his case . . . beside there _is_ the thing about doctor/patient confidentiality." He sends me a wink before continues with the details of my dad's condition. We listen as Carlisle discusses my father's condition. Edward asks questions and agrees with Carlisle's prognosis. They both reassure me that if I follow Dr. Gerandy's recommendations, dad's condition should improve with time. Carlisle continues, "This isn't going to be an overnight recovery Bella. He is going to need extensive PT and he will need to be looked after around the clock. _We_ need to figure out how to proceed to ensure your father receives the best medical care available. _We_ not just _you_," he underscores.

"Edward and I are going to the hospital now. If you don't mind poppa bear, I'd feel so much better if you would join us. I know Dr. Gerandy would appreciate your input. It would make me feel so much better too. "

"I'd be happy to Bella." Carlisle turns to Esme, "Honey, are the bags still in the car. I'd like to change into some clean clothes before we leave."

"I'll go get the suitcases dad . . . be right back," Edward offers.

When Edward returns with the suitcases, he says he needs to call the hospital to try and get a few more days off. "I'm not leaving here until I know Bella's father is out of danger."

"Edward, your father and I are here. We're not going anywhere," Esme scolds. "You need to get back to the hospital. How are you going to support my grandbaby if you're out of a job?"

Dad clears his throat, "Um son that won't be necessary. I called the hospital earlier this morning and got you three more days off. Of course, when you return you'll be work straight through the week to make up for lost time. To be honest, I felt a little guilty using nepotism but sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do for his family," he smirks.

As we wait for Carlisle to change, Esme takes me into her arms talking nonstop all things baby. When she pauses for a breath Alice dominates over the conversation.

"Yup, she is so going to steal our baby," Edward jokes nodding his head up and down.

"I know right," I concur with a wink and a nod.

**A/N:** "Enough Love" is sung by Mr. Astley and written by Rick Astley, Lisa Stansfield, Ian Devaney and Andy Morris. So I'm anticipating two more chapters and then, sadly, that will be the end of _my_ Edward and Bella _and_ momma bear's story.


	42. Chapter 42 I'll Never Let You Down

**A/N: **This chapter Bella and Edward spend quality time with the Chief. Enjoy. Remember I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine. **Kindly** let me know if you find any mistakes that need fixing. P.S. I am not in any way a doctor. All information about stroke victims was researched on the internet. After my research, I have great regard to those who care and support stroke victims.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad. I don't own anything related to The Big Bang Theory either and I didn't sing or write any of the songs by Mr. Rick Astley.

**Chapter 42 "I'll Never Let You Down"**

_**BPoV**_

It takes some doing but eventually Edward is able to pull me out of the clutches of Alice and momma bear's arms reminding them we need to leave for the hospital soon. Before we make it to the door, momma bear politely asks if she can rub my tummy.

I gasp in horror. I emphatically state, "Momma bear I do not have a tummy yet thank you very much," I harrumph as her hands gently rubs circles around her grandbaby cub.

On the way to the hospital, I ask Edward to stop at my house. I want my dad to be as comfortable as possible during his stay in the hospital. I grab his pillow and the quilt Esme had given him. Just before I'm out the door, I spot Edward's folded love letter; the letter Edward had angrily forced me to read. I pick it up tucking it in my back pocket. My words were honest and true when I wrote them . . . even more honest and true now especially after all I put him through and now that _we_ are expecting a baby. I hope . . . no, I know he will accept my words again. _Sheesh, this romance stuff is a lot tougher than I realized . . . but my Edward is so worth it. _I sigh and grin as I make my way out the door.

"Why the silly grin?" Edward asks as I buckle my seatbelt. An equally lopsided quizzical smile spreads across his face.

I guess smiles are contagious. "Just happy that's all. I'm happy you're here with me and going to help me look after my dad." I lean over placing a light kiss to his cheek. "I love you Edward." After all, I gotta keep it clean with poppa bear sitting in the back seat.

We stop for some fresh flowers to cheer up dad's room hoping to make the drab hospital room a bit cozier. Arriving at the hospital, we part ways. Carlisle and Edward head to Dr. Gerandy's office while I make my way to dad's room. Dad's sleeping while I find Billy and Jacob watching some gosh awful daytime television program.

Billy stands taking the vase of flowers from me adding my vase to a growing collection of assorted flowers and cards on a side table. My heart warms knowing that so many people are pulling for the chief to get better. I cover dad with his quilt and lay his pillow on the edge of his bed. He's resting so peacefully, I don't want to disturb his slumber by moving him. His pillow can wait until he's awak. "Hey dad I'm sorry I'm so late. Dr. Gerandy sent me home for some rest and, well, um . . . don't worry I'm fine . . . I'm actually more than fine . . . and I need you to get better . . . we have so much to talk about . . . I love you chief . . . I'm not going anywhere . . . I'm right here for you dad," I softly speak as I place a feather light kiss to his forehead. A wipe away a few of my tears. _He has to get better. Who else is going to show my kid how to fish?_

Full of emotion, I turn and hug Billy. "Thank you so much for being here with him last night _and_ this morning. I can't tell you how grateful I am that he has a loyal friend like you."

Embarrassed, Billy pulls out of my hug. "No need to thank me Bella. I know he'd do the same for me if it was me sleeping in that bed." Billy looks in dad's direction.

Sitting next to dad, I ever so lightly run my hand up and down his arm afraid of waking him. I watch as his chest gently rises and lowers. Billy fills me in on dad's morning. I listen intently relieved to hear he had a restful night and an equally restful morning so far. Billy says a couple of the guys from the station stopped by earlier. He tells me the guys from the station are praying and pulling for the chief.

I've yet to speak to Jacob. I glance at him; his eyes remain fixed on the bad daytime television program.

"Billy, would you mind if I talk to Jacob," I look toward the door, "out in the hall for a few minutes. There are some things I'd like to say to him . . . um in private." I notice Jacob stiffens at my request.

"Sure Bella, take your time. Your pops and me will be right here," he jokes.

I murmur, "Jacob, could I speak to you for a minute?" I tilt my head in the direction of the door.

And, for the first time, since my arrival, Jacob takes his eyes off the television and speaks. "Um . . . sure Bella . . . I'll be right back dad." He rises from the chair following me out the door.

For a bit more privacy, I walk farther down the hall. When I stop and turn Jacob nearly slams into me. I grab hold of his shirt for balance before taking a step back. My jumpy stomach begins to flutter; I hope I don't vomit on him. I inhale deeply and clear my nervous threat before I speak. "Listen it seems like all I've been doing the past couple of days is apologizing to everyone for all my bad decisions." I look deep into Jacob's uneasy eyes. "So, um . . . I guess now it's your turn. Jacob I am so very sorry for putting you in that awkward position between Edward and me. It was wrong of me. I should never have put you in that position," I pause, "I should never have done that to _you_ . . . or him. Instead of telling him the truth, I played childish games making matters even worse. I tried to use you to make him jealous and . . . that was wrong of me. I hope you will forgive me. The only thing I only succeeded in doing is to makeg him angry. I thought if he believed we were together he would leave . . . go home . . . but he didn't."

As I speak, Jacob's eyes grow larger darting back and forth. I hear footsteps approach and feel warm arms wrap around my waist. Instinctively, I know it is Edward as I melt against his chest.

"No, I didn't leave," Edward hums in my ear as he extends his hand to Jacob, "Let's start over. Hello, I'm Edward Cullen, Bella's boyfriend. It's nice to meet you."

Relaxing just a bit, Jacob reciprocates as he extends his hand, "Jacob Black, _just_ Bella's friend," he weakly jokes, "nice to meet you too."

"It's good to know that Bella had someone she could rely on in my absence. Thank you Jacob for taking care of her when I couldn't."

"Charlie's my friend too. I'd do anything for the chief," Jacob proudly proclaims.

I lunge forward crying 'thank you' and giving Jacob a huge bear hug. Jacob awkwardly pats my back before quickly escaping my embrace. "No need to thank me Bella," he nervously coughs keeping his eyes on Edward.

"So am I forgiven?" I plead.

"Forgiven," smiles Jacob.

We return to dad's room; I find Dr. Gerandy and Dr. Cullen quietly talking to Billy; Edward joins the conversation. Dad is still sleeping comfortably.

"Bella, I think Jacob and I are going to take off for a while . . . give you folks some privacy. I'll be back later tonight."

"Thank you Billy." I give him another hug. "Please you and Jacob," I look toward Jacob, "Please, stay home tonight. I know you're worried about the chief too but you were kind enough to let me get some rest last night it's only fair that I return the favor. Please go home . . . have a home cooked meal and a good night's sleep in your own bed. I promise if there is any change in his condition I'll give you call. Now go home," I order. "Honestly, I'm feeling much better today. Edward will be staying with me to look after the chief." I look to Edward.

"We'll stay tonight," Edward adds to reassure dad's worried best friend.

"See, we will both be staying with dad tonight . . . Oh Billy . . . Edward, I'm sorry. Billy, this is my boyfriend Edward."

They exchange greetings.

I reiterate, "If there's an emergency, I promise to call. Now, go home and get some rest before I give you another hug," I tease.

Before Billy has a chance to object, I sneak one last kiss on his cheek. Shocked by my behavior, Billy reddens with embarrassment as he and Jacob make a hastily exit from the room. I hear their goodbyes echo down the hall.

I take a seat beside dad. Edward stands behind me as he, Dr. Gerandy and Carlisle continue to discuss dad's prognosis with me. Edward rests his supportive hand on my shoulder reassuring me that moving dad to Seattle would be in dad's best interest. He insists that my dad will benefit from the rehab program the center in Seattle can offer. The center can provide dad a much more intensive program than local facility.

Immediately, I begin to worry gnawing on my lower lip. _I know dad has health insurance but moving him to Seattle may not be covered . . . I worry about the additional costs . . . my funds are limited and now I scold myself for foolishly spending my small inheritance grandma left me to travel. I should have saved that money for a rainy day because right about now it's pouring. On the bright side, if I do move dad to the Seattle facility, I will get a real job to help with the costs. Dad was right about making me go to college. Hopefully, I'll be able to quickly find a job in my field. Now is the time to put on my big girl panties because, at the moment, all I know is that between dad and my baby, I've got lots to figure out._

Carlisle must sense some of my concerns. A usually subdued man, Carlisle says he is going to pull some strings and call in some favors to make sure that my father receives the best possible medical care. I cry leaping up and hugging poppa bear profusely thanking him for all his help.

"Esme isn't the only one who will do anything for his kids," he proudly jokes but then whispers for me, "don't worry Bella everything will work out."

"Thank you," I murmur.

As I continue to take some comfort in poppa bear's hug, I hear a cough. I blink away my tears as I watch dad struggle to open his eyes. Slowly he blinks his eyes open. I rush to his side taking his hand in mine. Dr. Gerandy asks that I wait outside so he can examine his patient. Edward and poppa bear agree. I take comfort knowing that Edward and Carlisle will be with dad.

When the examination is over, Dr. Gerandy provides me with a brief overview of dad's condition and leaves. "If any questions should arise, I'm positive either Carlisle or Edward will be more than able to answer any of your concerns."

I thank Dr. Gerandy as he exits the room. I reposition my chair near the head of dad's bed. Ever so gently, as not to cause him any discomfort, I carefully cradle dad's head in my hand as I slip his pillow under his head. Dad can't speak but I see something in his eyes; something that gives me spark of hope.

Now that the chief is awake, I place a firm kiss to his forehead making sure he knows I'm here for him. "I'm glad you're awake dad. It's not like you to sleep all day." I refuse to cry; I don't want to worry the chief . . . don't want to add any stress and, despite his serious condition, I know he wouldn't want me to make a fuss so I try to keep it light.

"Um dad there's someone . . . actually two people I'd like you to meet." I motion for Edward and Carlisle to join me. I join dad's and Edward's hand with mine. "Dad, this is my boyfriend Edward. Edward this is my dad Chief Swan."

"It's an honor to meet you chief . . . and this is my dad Dr. Carlisle Cullen." Edward motions for Carlisle to join our huddle.

"Chief Swan, it's good to finely meet you. Bella speak very highly of you," Carlisle politely adds.

Dad appears to struggle to speak. Sensing his distress, Edward and I attempt to calm dad.

"Please dad don't . . . just relax. Edward and Dr. Cullen are here to help you get better. Please just relax now," I urge.

"Don't worry about Bella Chief Swan. I want you to know that I love your daughter very much. I'm going to be here for her . . . to help her take care of you."

"So dad _your_ only job," I stress, "is to get better okay old man." I joke again trying to lighten the mood.

"Um Bella, I'm going to head out now. I'll be back later this evening with Esme and dinner for the two of you." Carlisle turns to Edward, "call me if you need anything."

Looking to dad, Carlisle says a heartfelt goodbye and warning to follow doctor's orders.

"Thanks again for all your help poppa bear." I surprise him with a kiss on the cheek and like Billy Carlisle reddens as he quickly exits the room.

When we are finally alone with dad, Edward places the extra chair near mine. He lays a supportive hand on my thigh giving it a tight squeeze.

In a hushed tone, Edward murmurs, "Talk to him Bella. In his current condition, he may not be able to verbally respond but _hopefully_ he is still capable of processing and understanding what you are saying. Many stroke victims maintain the ability to process information. It's just many times their ability to verbally respond is limited."

_I love Edward use his doctor voice._ I nod wanting to say so much but not sure where to begin or what to say. I lay my head near dad's ear. In hushed voice, I reassure him that I am here for him; I'm not leaving him no matter what. I tell him not to worry about anything but getting better. I let him know I am going to do everything in my power to make sure he gets the best medical care possible. "You have to get better dad. You know you're the only person Billy can stand fishing with." I'm unsure whether to tell him about the baby right now. I don't want to cause any undue stress. My voice trembles as I utter, "Dad, I have a big surprise for you . . . I promise you're going to love it." I squeeze his hand. "Now get better Chief and that's an order or no surprise for you."

I hold onto dad's hand until he falls back asleep. As soon as he is sound asleep, I break down allowing my tears to fall. Edward wraps me in his arms reassuring me that everything is going to be okay.

When my cry is over Edward talks about how we should proceed. "Bella, from the test Dr. Gerandy has run so far, I recommend, _if_ you are going to move your dad to Seattle, you do it as soon as possible. He needs to begin PT _now_, the sooner the better. He suffered the stroke on the left side of the brain which means he will experience neurological complications to the right side of his body. He's already demonstrated paralysis on the right side of his body . . . to what extent, we still don't quite know. He may show some signs of memory loss but again more extensive tests will need to be conducted. I'm also concerned about the communication challenges he will experience. He needs to be tested for both speech and language."

"What will the test show?" I ask into Edward's chest as his hand glides up and down my back.

"We'll be able to see if he can process and understand what other people are saying . . . to what extent his verbal skills have been affected by the stroke. He should also be tested to evaluate how the stroke has affected his reading and writing skills. Most stroke victims are diagnosed with Aphasia."

"What's Aphasia?"

"It's a language disorder caused by strokes. His words may be jumbled, fragmented . . . he may be unable to understand but mentally he may be fully alert. He may understand what's going on around him. He may be mentally alert but unable to verbally communicate. The faster he begins intensive verbal therapy the faster he will improve. After about year, his progress will slow. That's why it's vital that we get him started now." Edward pauses taking a deep breath. "Bella the other symptom we need to watch carefully is his emotional state. Many stroke victims become depressed, they feel isolated . . . even cautious about life. You said your dad's life was his job . . . if that is true, it may be difficult for him to accept that he will need to give up his life's work . . . and even the move to Seattle may be emotionally difficult for him to accept." Edward kisses the top of my head hugging my tightly. "So how are you feeling momma bear? I know it's a lot to take in but remember I'm not leaving your side." Edward whispers into my hair. "Are you hungry? I could go down to the cafeteria and get you something to eat . . . or maybe something to drink."

And like clockwork, my stomach growls. "I guess I . . . I mean _we_ could eat," I groan.

While dad continues to rest and I wait for Edward to return, I stare up at the muted television. Not wanting to disturb dad's sleep I don't turn the sound up. Edward returns with two small salads and waters for us.

"Well, it's official. All hospitals have terrible cafeteria food," he jokes. "These salads will have to hold us over until mom brings dinner."

We eat in comfortable silence. Edward is right. Even the salad isn't very good. After we eat, I toss out our empty plates as Edward reviews dad's monitors.

When we both return to our seats Edward speaks first. "So what's the plan Bella?"

I take a deep breath. "Well, I suppose the plan is to move dad to Seattle as soon as possible," _I make the decision as I speak. _"But I need to look into dad's medical coverage. I need to figure out the logistics," I sigh. "Be honest with me Edward, do you think dad will have a full recovery? I've seen people who have suffered strokes . . . what's his prognosis? My dad is a very proud man. I'm not sure how he will react having to depend on someone to help him with even the simplest of things." I pause, "Dad's job is his life. He's never going to be able to return to his job is he?" It's a statement not really a question.

"I'm not going to lie to you Bella. No, with the severity of your father's stroke, he will probably never work again, at least not in law enforcement. I'm sure Dr. Gerandy has told you about the tests your father will need to be put through. Once he has completed those tests, we'll know more about what to expect. But, no I don't see him ever returning to his job."

I don't cry, instead I think about what needs to be done. I think about what is best for my dad. Seattle _is_ what is best for him. Sometime later, I fall asleep.

**EPoV**

As Bella sleeps, I worry. All of this stress is not good for our baby. I know it will be useless to ask her not to worry about her father so I will do everything I can to ease her worry. Her head hangs lopsided as she sleeps. That can't be comfortable; she's going to wake with a stiff neck.

So first things first, I walk to the nurse's station and ask for a small cot, pillow and blanket. Proudly, I explain Bella is pregnant and would probably sleep better on a cot. _Yeah, I didn't have to include the pregnancy comment but I'm just so excited about our baby I'm going to tell anyone who will listen._ The nurse provides me with the small cot and the hospital bedding. As quietly as possible, I set up the cot before carefully lifting then placing Bella on the makeshift bed. She is so exhausted she doesn't wake as I transfer her from the chair to the cot. While Bella sleeps, I keep an eye on her dad.

Slowly stretching, Bella hums as she wakes. She sits up giving me a quizzical look. "Did you do this?"

"Guilty, you fell asleep. I asked one of the nurses if she could get you a cot. You were out cold . . . being pregnant will do that to you." He smiles proudly.

"Thanks poppa bear." Bella says as she peeks at her sleeping dad.

"No problem momma bear. I called dad. He said they will be here soon with our dinner and change of clothes for later tonight."

"How long was I asleep?" Bella asks as she makes her way to the bathroom.

"A couple of hours," I call out.

"A couple of hours! Edward you should have woken me up," Bella shouts.

Charlie's eyes blink open. I ring for the nurse informing her that her patient is awake. Again, Bella waits just outside the door as the nurse and I care for her dad. I raise the head of his bed to ready him for his meal.

"Watching the nurse feed your dad will give you some insight as to why it's vital he get immediate around the clock medical care."

Bella and I watch as the nurse slowly and methodically feeds a small serving of puréed vegetables and fruit to her dad. I narrate that the nurse is watching for any indication that her father is unable to swallow the food. "Many stroke victims choke on food . . . some can't feel the food on one or both sides of the mouth and may have difficulty swallowing."

Bella's eyes are fixed on her dad. She whispers that the food looks like baby food. She notices that the chief, at times, appears to be having some difficulty swallowing. "Come on dad you got this. You're not going to let that green mush get the upper hand on Chief Swan," she cheers and winks at her dad.

Charlie's eyes look to Bella. That's a very encouraging sign.

Bella offers to wipe Charlie's face as the nurse takes away the tray. With his quilt, she covers his chest tightly tucking him in for the night.

"Edward, can you check to see if there's a basketball game is on the television. I think he might enjoy the distraction."

We sit near Charlie as his eyes travel from the television to us and back to the television.

"He sounds asleep," Bella whispers.

Carefully, I lower his head slightly and Bella turns off the light. It is early twilight; the room glows with the early evening light and the television. There's a light knock on the door.

Mom, dad and Alice quietly sneak into the room. Mom is carrying a bag, food most likely, as dad carries a small suitcase. Alice takes mom's bag as mom takes Bella into her arms.

My heart aches as I see Bella sigh into mom's arms. "Don't worry kid," mom murmurs, "Everything is going to be fine. I promise. Carlisle and Edward are going to see to it that your dad gets the best care possible okay. You've got two of the best doctors in the world looking after your dad. Now, you and Edward take that bag of food to the cafeteria and eat some dinner. We'll stay here and look after the chief." Mom cups Bella's face, "I know you're worried about your dad but you also have to take care of _my_ grandbaby. So go eat . . . and eat all your vegetables."

Bella nods in agreement and follows me out the door taking a look at her sleeping dad. Although the cafeteria is relatively empty, we make our way to a corner table for privacy. We empty the contents of the bag and I smirk when I hear Bella's stomach growl.

"_My_ baby is hungry," I proclaim proudly.

Bella rolls her eyes shaking her head side to side. "Which baby? Me or the cub? And, it is _my_ baby too!" Bella smells the food I've plated. "I have a feeling _our_ baby is going to make me fat," she teases as she inhales a fork full of food. She hums in satisfaction.

"So here's the plan. I was thinking . . ."

**A/N: **We are nearing the end. Please let me know what you think. I'm also taking bets if there is going to be a baby girl or baby boy cub for grandma bear.


	43. Chapter 43 And I Love You So

**A/N: **Sadly, after two more chapters I still haven't reached 500 reviews. Show this gal some lovin' with a review . . . pretty please. There now I'm begging . . . maybe an early Christmas present.

**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL ~ ~ ~ ~**

**Disclaimer: **Twilight by Ms. Meyer is not and never will be mine in any way, shape, or form and for that I'm extremely sad. I don't own anything related to The Big Bang Theory either and I didn't sing or write any of the songs by Mr. Rick Astley.

**Chapter 43 "And I Love You So"**

**EPoV**

"So here's the plan. I was thinking tomorrow, since we _are_ in a hospital, we make an appointment for you to get a pregnancy test. We can find out how far along you are, have a sonogram done and get you started on some prenatal vitamins."

Bella blushed nodding in agreement. _This blushing is something new and I hope never ends._

"In the next few days, I recommend transferring your dad to the Seattle facility so he can begin rehab. I talked to my dad. He is gonna pull some strings to get him admitted so moving your dad won't be an issue." I shake my head and chuckle, "in all the years dad's worked at the hospital, I don't think he has ever asked for a favor. It'll be a first for him." I take a breath from all my rambling. "Next, I know we talked about getting a place of our own when you got back from your trip but . . . but obviously things have changed considerably. So, here's what's going to happen," I point to Bella, "you will move in with me until your dad is strong enough to leave the rehab center. Given his current condition, he may be there for a while. You'll be closer to the center . . . I know you'll want to be there every day . . . you'll also need to attend some classes to learn how to care for him and what to expect once he's home. Then," I pause immediately knowing what Bella's reaction will be but here goes nothing, "then once your dad is released we will permanently move to Forks."

Bella almost spits out her food. Her eyes bulge out as she adamantly shakes her head side to side. "No. No, Edward absolutely not." She is angry; her voice is filled with conviction. "You are not moving to Forks! Absolutely not. You see," she angrily points her finger to my chest. "You see, I knew it. I knew if you knew about my father's stroke you would do something foolish like this," she shouts. "I will not allow you to give up your career." She enunciates every word to make her point. _God, she so sexy when she angry._ "No, I won't let you do that. Come up with a different plan doc." She challenges me as she defiantly folds her arms over her chest. She huffs. She sits back against her chair seething as she stares me down. Her chest angrily heaves up and down. I see the smoke steaming from her nostrils.

"Are you finished with your tantrum?" I calmly ask but get no response. _This must be the silent treatment. Hum, interesting._ "I am not going to give up my career Bella so calm down. As I was saying, when your dad is healthy enough to be released from rehab _we will_ move to Forks." I arch my brow challenging her to contradict me. "As soon as we get back to Seattle, I'm going to request a transfer at the end of my next rotation to _this_ hospital."

"This hospital? No, Edward. I won't let you give up the opportunities and advantages you are getting at UDub Medical Center. NO! Does this hospital even offer a Neurological Surgery Residency? No, no, no. NO, I won't let you do it." Bella's face fall into her hands as she sobs. "Everything is such a mess." She sobs harder.

As she sobs, I place her on my lap and she sobs harder against my chest. "Baby, listen to me. I want to ask you a question," I whisper into her hair. Her sobs soften to whimpers as she listens. "Tell me why you stopped to pick up your dad's pillow and quilt?"

Through her hiccups, she answers, "Because I wanted him to feel at home. I wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. He must be so scared right now."

"Exactly my point. You wanted him to be comfortable. You wanted him to be happy. He's happy at _his_ home. One day he may be physically able to leave the rehab center, but emotionally . . . ," I shake my head against hers. "Depression can be a serious side effect for a stroke victim. I think he needs to be in his _own_ home, surrounded by familiar things, at least for a while, so he feels safe . . . in a comfortable environment . . . in familiar surroundings. Think about how he may feel living in Seattle . . . in an unfamiliar home . . . without his friends, his friends like Billy and Jacob and all the guys down at the station . . . those people _are_ his family too Bella," I urge.

Bella is quiet. She seems to be searching for words. Softly, she speaks, "Edward, you have no idea how much more I love you at this very moment." Surprisingly, Bella wraps her arms around my waist burying her face in my neck. "You'd be willing to give up everything, everything you worked so hard for your entire life . . . for my father . . . for me. I . . . I can't . . . I don't have the words." Passion surges from Bella's lips to mine. "I love you Edward so, so much," she says murmurs against my heated lips.

I begin to reciprocate her kiss until I hear a gruff voice abruptly clear their throat and I remember we are sitting in a hospital cafeteria. "Um, Bella . . . baby stop." I try to pull away but fail. "I love you too but we're in a hospital cafeteria," I say breathlessly into her mouth.

An older man in a white doctor's smocks walks passed us shaking his head side to side in abhorrence.

Bella blushes as she begrudgingly pulls away from my lips. "Oh my God, I got carried away didn't I? Can I blame my inappropriate behavior on pregnancy hormones?" She giggles.

"You never have to make up excuses for wanting to kiss me baby. And, that old man who cleared his throat is just jealous he doesn't have a woman as beautiful as you sitting on his lap." I place a playful kiss on the tip of her nose.

Bella composes herself returning to her own seat. From under her eyelashes, she looks up at me, "Edward, I really appreciate that you've already given this matter some thought but," she giggles again, "but ever since we've met well your plans haven't quite panned out." She places her hand atop mine then on _our_ child. "I'm sure you didn't plan on meeting someone like me and I'm pretty sure you didn't plan this either." We pat her tummy. "So, no offense Sheldon but your planning skills suck balls right about now."

I begin to argue but Bella puts her hand up.

"Now, while _I_ talk, you listen . . . and eat okay," she orders. "First off, I agree my dad needs to be transferred to the Seattle facility as soon as possible. That's a given. _Dad's medical insurance will cover some of the cost. I'll figure out the rest later._ As soon as Carlisle can make the arrangements . . . no arguments from me but as far as _you_ moving here _permanently_," she spits out the last word, ". . . transferring here . . . I think we need to discuss it further . . . there are a lot of factors we _both_ need to consider. This decision isn't just about my dad and you and me. There are other people to consider. What about your parents Edward? Momma bear will be crushed if we moved here. I can't . . . won't do that to her, at least, not without talking to her about it first." She inhales, "Yes, I know this is _our_ lives we're discussing but I don't believe it's our right to make the final decision about my dad's future. When the time comes, if he is able, I think we need to discuss his future with him . . . we need to wait and see what _he_ wants, what _he_ needs. Think about how _you_ would feel," she points to me, "if someone was making all the decisions about _your_ life and _you_ had absolutely no say in the matter." Bella takes another deep breath. "My father is a proud man Edward. I won't take away his dignity; I can't do that to him. However, I _do_ agree that having some familiar things around him _will_ make him feel more at home . . . more comfortable. Once we know where he'll be situated, perhaps we can bring some of his personal belongings from home to make his room cozier, more like home."

I want to interrupt but she does make some valid points. Silently, I take in all she has said before I speak, "Okay, so we agree that your dad needs to be transferred right away. And, you are right; we _do_ have time to figure out the rest. When the time comes, we will talk to your dad and ask what he wants to do. Now finish eating so we can get back to your dad." I laugh out loud causing Bella to smile a quizzical smile. "You're definitely right about one thing though. My mom would have my behind if she knew I was even considering moving away with her first grandchild. If we plan on having any more kids, please don't _ever_ mention it to her." I laugh louder. "Man, I don't know what I was thinking. This is going to be some tricky business. I think I need a strong drink." I grumble.

"Hey! If I can't have a strong drink right now neither can you," Bella playfully scolds. "Come on, let's go. We've been away too long."

_**BPoV**_

The next two days are a flurry of activity as we ready for dad's transfer dad to Seattle. With everything that needs to be taken care of for dad's transfer, I suggest that the pregnancy test wait until we're back in Seattle. Always the doctor, poppa bear _to be_ worries that I should start my prenatal vitamins today. To appease my worry wart, Dr. Gerandy nabs a sample bottle of vitamins and iron supplements for me to take until we get home. I try to hide my bouts of morning sickness for dad. I nonchalantly excuse myself when I feel the urge to heave. Once out the door, I cover my mouth making a mad dash for the nearest restroom.

Not only has Carlisle been able to arrange for dad's transfer but he has also finessed his way into getting dad a prime room. While Carlisle continues to consult with Dr. Gerandy, Alice and Esme make dad's hospital stay as comfortable as possible. They take turns helping the nurse feed him, watching bad day time television with him and, using her Ipod to softly play Rick Astley music as dad sleeps.

"His voice can make anybody feel better," Esme reassures me. _I gotta admit he's secretly kinda growing on me but I ain't telling grandma bear that!_

Knowing dad will be leaving soon, Billy and Jacob visit as often as possible. The Cullens leave to give the best friends their privacy. Along with Billy and Jacob, some of the guys from the station trickle in and out during the day to wish dad a quick recovery. I take a seat in the corner giving them their time with dad as they talk about how the station is falling apart without the chief. I'm not sure how much dad understands. They all encourage dad to get better soon and that his job will be waiting for him when he's feeling better. They add for him no to take too long and it saddens to know that dad will never be able to work at the job that is his life. Tears well up knowing he will never be the _Chief_ again. Inconspicuously, I wipe away my tears. I don't want to cry in front of dad.

Dad falls asleep again as the last of the visitors exit, I suggest . . . no, I take that back, I demand that _all_ the Cullens including Edward take off early . . . have a home cooked meal and get a good night sleep. We will be leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. We have a long drive ahead of us and they need their rest too. All of them, momma bear . . . I mean grandma bear, _still can't get use to that_, grandpa bear, Alice and Edward have done so much for dad and me.

As expected, Edward begins to argue with my demand. "Oh no, no arguments from you Edward." I sternly point my finger at him. "You have to report back to the hospital tomorrow night. If you stayed tonight, sleeping on that uncomfortable chair," I sternly point to the stiff chair, "and the long drive ahead of us tomorrow you are going to be exhausted. I don't want to have to worry about you too," I scold.

"Son, unfortunately, I'm siding with Bella on this one. You're scheduled for the next few nights in a row to make up for your time off. You need a good night sleep," Carlisle interjects.

"What about you Bella," Edward counters. "You need your rest more than any of us."

"I agree but I need to spend some time alone with the chief before he starts his intensive therapy." I step into Edward's supportive arms. "I promise I'll sit and talk to dad for a bit . . . I want to help the nurse feed him dinner and then I'll get to sleep." I lean up and place a whisper of a kiss on his lips. "I promise I'll be fine. I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to _our_ cubby bear." _With the traffic of visitors, I worry that all the well-wishers haven't caused dad any undue stress or overwhelmed him._ He needs to be well rested for the long four hour drive to Seattle.

Reluctantly, Edward agrees but is clearly not happy about leaving. Unwrapping myself from Edward's arms, I hug Esme for all her help.

"Bella, there is no need for thanks. We are family now." Esme scolds, "And family takes care of family." She cups my face forcing me to look into her eyes, "And don't you ever forget that young lady. The only reason you are forgiven for your recent behavior is that you're carrying my grandbaby and, obviously, you weren't thinking straight," she jokes before pulling me into another tight bear hug. "I love you my girl. Everything is going to fine. I promise." I give her an extra- tight hug.

Alice gives me a goodbye hug. I apologize that I've kept her away from Jasper for so long. In a hushed voice, she teases that she'll have to think of some way of making it up to him. She sends me a wicked wink and grin as she walks out the door.

Not wanting to embarrass Carlisle too much, I step on my tiptoes giving him a quick kiss on the cheek to thank him. "Like Esme said, no need for thanks. I'm glad to help in any way I can. Don't worry sweetheart. He's going to get the best care possible. I'll see to it." Carlisle looks to Edward, "I'm going to talk to Gerandy before we leave. I want to go over the details for the transfer one last time. Meet us there when you're ready. We'll see you bright and early tomorrow Bella. Get a good night's rest you understand," he orders.

Having returned to Edward's supportive arms, I nod as he runs his arms up and down my back. I stay wrapped in Edward's supportive arms as he whispers words of love. I hug him back rubbing my arms up and down his back.

"Thank you poppa bear for everything . . . I love you so much," I utter into his chest. "Now go on, they're waiting for you." I pull out of his arms when I suddenly remember something. "Oh before I forget, I have something for you." I grab something out of my bag. I'm nervous to return my love letter hoping he'll take it. "You dropped this the other day." I try to steady my shaky hand as I present the folded paper.

"Oh thanks," Edward's voice is whimsical, "I was looking all over for that." He takes the folded paper and pulls me back into his arms. "I love you Bella."

"I love you Edward . . . forever."

We take comfort in each other's arms. I could stay like this forever until a nurse enters the room break. "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt," she apologizes.

"No, no sorry I was just leaving," Edward says. He gives me a quick kiss on the lips, "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning. Call me if you need _anything_. I mean it."

I salute, "Yes sir."

"And take care this." He rubs my abdomen.

"I will. Now go." I walk him to the door forcing him out. I watch as he walks down the hall turning back to me before disappearing into an elevator.

I sit near dad as he naps as the nurse checks the monitors and IV connections noting her observations. "Everything looks good. Let me know when or if he wakes up. Let's try to get some food into his system if we can."

I nod and thank her as dad and I are finally alone. With the exception of the beeping monitors, the room is quiet. I watch dad as his chest rises up and down. I spy Esme's Ipod docked on a small radio on the nightstand. Reaching over, I lower the volume to a low hum, hit shuffle and hit play. The quiet room is filled with soft soothing music. I lay my head on the edge of the bed holding dad's hand in mine as I wish . . . and hop . . . pray for dad to get better.

I feel my eyes begin to droop. I try to fight my sleep but I know my baby is telling me it's time for a nap. I close my eyes letting the music carry me to sleep.

_And I love you so, The people ask me how, How I've lived 'til now, I tell them I don't know, _

_I guess they understand, How lonely life has been, But life began again, The day you took my hand . . . And yes, I know how lonely life can be, The shadows follow me and the night won't set me free, But I don't let the evening get me down, Now that you're around me_

_And you love me too, Your thoughts are just for me, You set my spirit free, I'm happy that you do _

_The book of life is brief, And once a page is read, All but love is dead, That is my belief_

_And yes, I know how loveless life can be, The shadows follow me and the night won't set me free_

_But I don't let the evening bring me down, Now that you're around me, And I love you so, The people ask me how, How I've lived till now, I tell them I don't know . . . _

Sometime later, I hear my phone chimes with a text. I wake slowly stretching my sore muscles. I rub my stiff neck peeking at dad who is still sleeping. He snores slightly and I giggle. Some things never change. I fish my phone out of my bag.

_Mom brought my charger! It's alive. . . alive! I miss you babe text me if you need ANYTHING_

_I love you 3 forever- Edward_

_**I miss you to too See u in the morning – Bella Make sure you get a good night sleep ):**_

_**Bella**_

_You already got that whole mom thing going on You're so bossy ; ) Edward P.S. you get some sleep too_

_**I will I promise see you in the morning- Sheldon**_

_See you in the morning- Penny___

Dad finally wakes from his long nap; he blinks a few times. "Hey old man, it's about time you woke up." I make my words light but continue to hold his hand reassuring him I'm here for him. With my free hand, I ring for the nurse. "He's finally awake," I whisper. "I'd like to try to feed him. He hasn't eaten too much today," I worry.

The nurse agrees and so for the next hour or so I carefully feed dad. I follow the nurse's instructions watching that he doesn't struggle to swallow his food. I carry on a one-sided conversation as I continue to feed him. I let him know what's going to happen tomorrow. "Not going to lie chief, it's going to be tough for a while but you got this. I know you're not going to let this kick your butt. You're a fighter . . . you're the chief . . . show 'em who's boss."

Dad blinks at my words. I don't know if he is responding to my pep talk or he's just blinking. I take it that he understands what I'm saying. I have to be positive.

I turn on the television. There's a basketball game on. As we watch the game, I provide commentary. I feel myself begin to nod off. Dad's asleep again. I turn off the game and head to the restroom to change my clothes. I place a good night kiss on his forehead, tuck his quilt against his body and switch off the light.

"Wake up sleepyhead. Time to get up." Edward's lips tickle my ear.

"I don't want to," I grumble. "It's too early . . . going back to sleep." I burrow into my pillow when I hear soft giggles coming from Alice and Esme remembering where I am. My eyes pop open and, as is my new morning routine, I slap my hand over my mouth stumbling to the restroom. I sense Edward following me as I barely make it in time. As usual, he holds my hair back rubbing soothing circles on my back as I hurl. _Aint' motherhood grand._

An hour later, Billy and Jacob arrive for a final goodbye. I leave Billy, Jacob and dad alone for their farewells. I go sign the release forms. Returning to the room, I pull Billy into a tight hug letting him know how much dad and I appreciate all he has done. He's not as embarrassed as before. Next, it's Jacob's turn. With Edward standing near me, Jacob is reluctantly but I only pull him closer to me. "I'll text or call you and your dad with all the details as soon as he's settled." I give Billy one last hug before he leaves.

Edward and I argue as to who will ride along with dad. I emphatically state I'm going with dad as Edward emphatically puts his foot down.

"Bella, it's not a very comfortable ride. I'll go with your dad. Logically, it makes more sense for me to go. I _am_ a doctor after all," he smirks as if he has the upper hand. "You can't argue with that kind of logic."

"He is _my_ father. You can't argue with that." I counter argue.

Carlisle clears his throat to get our attention. "You both can go. Bella, you sit up in the passenger's seat and Edward can sit in the cabin with your dad. He can keep an eye on him."

"That works for me," I agree as Edward mumbles something under his breath. He doesn't look to happy. "Make sure you tell me if you feel nauseous during the ride so the driver can pull over."

Carefully, dad's gurney is loaded into the waiting ambulance. Esme hand Edward a bag of food and drinks for the ride before giving me a goodbye hug.

"Thanks mom. See you guys back in Seattle. Drive carefully," he calls out as he climbs into the cabin with dad. The doors are closed behind as the ambulance driver climbs into the driver's seat.

I turn back to dad, "Okay, chief let's do this."

**A/N:** Next chapter is going to jump in time. "And I Love You So" sung by Rick Astley written by Don Mclean. Not beta'd so all mistakes are mine. **Kindly**, let me know if you catch something I may have overlooked.


	44. Chapter 44 Together Forever House of

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting, please forgive me. I got caught up with the Thanksgiving holiday and now Christmas and finally busy with end of semester papers. I'm pooped. A big hug and thank you to jadeEyre, sas, savannavansmutsmut, sujari6, snoopylover60, Bc, acw1, manjuice, mannco, AliceJazzy, cullenmeadow, Vivi H88, queen cullen0527, dazzleglo, esmie, frostedglaze, Lotus11, lvk1978, MK543, Guest(s), , cctwilight and anyone I may have missed for your constant support and reviews. With my story nearing the end, I want to make sure I acknowledge those who have supported my first ever story from the beginning. This is a scary process and reading all your kind words have encouraged me to go on. So thanks again. **

**Disclaimer:** **Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 44 "Together Forever" [House of Love Mix] **

**EPoV**

Walking through the staff lounge, I let out another unexpected yawn. Between working my night shift rotation, visiting Charlie after my shift and, as always, spending every free moment with _my_ Bella exhaustion has finally caught up with me. I crave a Bella-filled bed and sleep. Even after being back in Seattle for over a month, Bella still hasn't moved into my apartment. I don't pressure her to make the move either; she's got so much to deal with right now. I don't want to cause her any additional undue stress. So some days I sleep in my apartment and others days I trudge up the stairs to Bella's room. As long as she is waiting for me, I don't care in what bed I sleep.

At the end of every shift, I drop by the UWMC Rehabilitation Center to check on Charlie. Originally, dad hoped to have him admitted into the Stroke Rehabilitation Clinic at Harborview but found a room readily available at UWMC, an equally qualified facility. Charlie's tests prove he had in deed suffered a left brain stroke so, in addition to PT, he will need to be observed for memory loss, difficulty with his speech, language problems and, eventually, any changes in his behavior.

Bella worries about the chief's health and lack of progress while it is my job to worry about Bella's health and _our_ developing baby bear. No matter what my father or the other doctors at the rehab center tell Bella she only truly ever listens to my daily updates. She trusts my words and takes comfort in hearing _my_ prognosis of her dad's condition and progress. I think it has something to do with how I report his condition to her.

I wrap her in my arms repeatedly whispering that he's adjusting to his physical therapy and speech therapy schedule as best as can be expected. She nods against my chest hearing my reassurances allowing only a few tears to escape. She insists on being strong for Charlie and will only allow her tears to fall when she's safe in my arms. To the outside world, she is a rock especially in front of her father. During the day, Bella stays with the chief at the rehab center then she's off to her waitressing job. _I don't even want to think about the drag out fights we've had about her working. I'm too tired right now. It's been a hectic month but I wouldn't have it any other way. _This has become my, no_ our_ routine.

As usual, I meet up with Riley, Charlie's physical therapist, to assist with his daily PT session.

"Hey Dr. Cullen, good to see you," Riley calls out as he wheels the chief in my direction.

"Hey Riley good to see." I shake his hand before greeting the chief. "Good morning Chief Swan. How are you doing this morning?" Placing my hand on my chest, I greet him. "Remember me? Edward . . . Edward Cullen . . . Bella's boyfriend." Gently placing one hand on Charlie's shoulder, I take his left hand in mind. I firmly hold his left hand assessing his weak handshake. I look him directly in his eyes hoping he remembers me. In his eyes, I'm still a stranger even though I visit him almost every day. I understand his reaction to me is a symptom of his condition. "I hope you don't mind if I hang around for a bit. I'm going to help Riley out today." _In fact,_ _I help Riley almost every day with the chief's PT._ The first half of the session I watch as Riley begins a series of passive range of motion exercises to the right side of his body, the paralyzed side.

"Help me out here chief. Don't make me do _all_ the work," jokes Riley. He encourages Charlie to work his muscles; I take note of his efforts. Occasionally, the chief lets out grunts and groans. I take his grumbling as a good sign that he's working hard. With Riley's guidance, I take over the second half of the session to exercise the left side of his body. I explain every movement and the purpose of each exercise as I do during every session. "Okay, so this exercise works your leg muscles. We want to avoid atrophy so we gotta keep your muscle moving . . . keep 'em active and strong." When I begin to rotate his ankle I explain, "You have to keep your blood flowing too. This imitates the walking motion." And like Riley, I provide words of encouragement sometimes joking that Bella is going to kick some butt if he doesn't try a little harder. I'm encouraged when he reacts to hearing Bella's name. That's another healthy welcoming sign. I simply smile.

At the end of the session, Riley and I wheel the chief back to his room. On the way, I talk to him. "Well that was a good workout chief. Bella's going to be happy to hear how hard you worked today." I help Riley transfer the chief from his chair to his bed covering him with his quilt.

"Thanks for the help Dr. Cullen . . . see you guys tomorrow," Riley calls out as he leaves the room.

Knowing her dad is a huge fan of sixties and seventies music, Bella loads her Ipod with some of his favorite tunes. On one of her recent visits, Bella snorts and rolls her eyes hearing a Rick Astley song in the mix. "No doubt the obviously sneaky work of Esme," she grumbles. Bella decides not to reprimand grandma bear for her mischievous behavior since she did volunteers to buy the Ipod dock now playing in Charlie's room.

I hit shuffle and play as the sounds of Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" fill the room. _I think of my brown-eyed girl with her twinkling golden honey eyes. _"Bella should be here in an hour or so . . ." an unexpected yawn escapes as I speak indicating it's time for me to leave. "Excuse me chief," I place a hand over my mouth, "but I think it's time for me to go. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget Bella will be here soon."

"Morning mom," I mumble placing a light kiss to her cheek. "Hey dad."

"Oh my baby boy you look exhausted. Are you hungry? You want me to make you something to eat?"

"No thanks mom, I'm not hungry . . . sleep, all I need is sleep." I yawn again as I traipse up the stairs.

A tired smile crosses my face when I spy Bella still in bed but my smile quickly morphs to pain. She looks more than a bit green around the gills. "Oh babe, you don't look to good. How are you feeling this morning?" I lean down placing a gentle kiss to her forehead rubbing soothing circles on her abdomen. "Listen baby bear," I playfully scold, "I already love you so much but you have got to stop making momma bear sick understand."

Bella attempts to laugh at my teasing. "I thought this morning sickness stuff would be over by now. I felt like I was coughing up a lung, she groans snuggling deep into the blankets. "Hurry, go jump in the shower, I missed you last night. I can't seem to get to sleep without you."

Grabbing my flannel bottoms and a clean undershirt, I saunter towards the bathroom and into a warm shower. My quick warm shower only succeeds in making me sleepier. I slip into bed snuggling up behind my girl placing one hand over our ever so slight bump of a tummy. Bella places her hand atop mine as we cuddle. In unison, we contently sigh as our bodies relax into each other's tangled limbs. Ah, finally I'm home in the arms of the woman I love. In a half sleepy voice, I talk about my visit with her dad. She pulls my hand to her lips gently kissing our locked hands. "Thank you for taking such good care of my dad Edward. I love you. Now go to sleep doc," she whispers as I fall asleep with her in my arms.

In my dreams, I see Bella's warm chocolate eyes splashed with hints of twinkling golden honey. I inhale her intoxicatingly scent of freesia and strawberry and wisteria or a combination of all three which tantalizes all my senses. And, then I hear Bella's cries. Not even in my dreams do I like to hear her cry. I feel my brow furrow as I begin to stir from my sleep. _Am I dreaming? The cries are too real for a dream. _Through my drowsy narrowed eyes, I see a blurry Bella standing in front of her dresser. She has one hand around her stomach and the other over her mouth. I see her shoulders stutter up and down.

"Sweetheart . . . baby," I sit up on my elbows. "What's the matter Bella?"

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep. I'm fine . . . just pregnancy hormones . . . _hiccup_ . . . I guess . . . _sob_ . . . ," she badly lies wiping her tears away.

I reach a hand out to her. She practically leaps into my arms and sobs into my t-shirt.

"Those aren't pregnancy hormones tears baby. I'm a doctor remember. You can't fool me . . . now what's the matter." I urge.

Her words are muffled as she speaks into my chest. "Your ring Edward," she sobs, "I can't believe the jeweler lost your ring . . . _hiccup . . . _it was your graduation ring . . . _hiccup . . . _you worked so hard . . . and I _just_ can't believe momma bear isn't more upset about it . . . she bought that ring especially for you . . . I remember the look on her face when you opened the box . . . _sobs . . ._ didn't the ring mean _anything_ to her . . . or _you_ . . . _sobs_ . . . I just don't understand," she rambles on and on.

"Sweetheart, don't worry. I told you the jeweler is going to replace it . . . good as new. I promise. Mom said it should ready any day now," I reassure her.

She defiantly nods her head back and forth, "it won't be the same," she pouts as I tug her into my side.

Guiltily, I cringe recalling the little white lie, _okay, okay the big white lie_, I told Bella about the missing ring. _If things had gone as originally planned, I wouldn't be in this pickle. I wouldn't have had to lie to Bella but, as usual these days, all my plans are bollocks to quote the Brits. I'm as comfortable telling a lie as my Big Bang Theory counterpart, Sheldon Cooper. _

"_Edward?" she questioningly calls out my name, "Edward, where's my ring? Did you take it when you took my letter . . . when you came up to Forks?" She looks around the room. "It's not here. I left it right here," she points to the exact spot where she had left her ring and letter. "Do you have it?"_

"_Oh your ring," I run my hands through my unmanageable hair. "ummm, Bella, about your ring . . . come here baby," I nervously pat the empty space of bed next to me. She glares into my eyes with a hard questioning look as she sits near me. "Okay," I stutter, "promise me you won't get mad okay. After all, it's not good for our little baby when you're upset." Yeah, I feel guilty using my unborn child as a means of deceiving Bella but I am certain she will forgive me . . . eventually . . . someday . . . I hope when she learns the truth about the ring. I swallow hard my nervous lying eyes fix on her hardening eyes. _

_She folds her arms across her chest. "I'm listening but I am not making any promises Edward Cullen. Anytime a person starts a sentence with 'promise you won't get mad' that said person inevitably gets mad . . . now speak."_

_I gulp, "Well, when you first left for Alaska, I asked mom to take the ring to the jeweler to have it cleaned as a surprise for you and . . . um . . . well . . ."_

"_Um . . . and . . . well what Edward?" Bella coldly interrupts. _

"_Well, the jeweler kinda . . . sorta," I stumble through my lying words, "sorta lost . . . no, no let me rephrase that . . . he misplaced the ring," I lie._

_Bella gasps and jumps off the bed. "The jeweler lost my ring?" She shouts in shock; her arms erratically flailing up and down. "How could he have lost it? Didn't he know that that ring is your graduation gift? That ring is the ring your mother bought you as a surprise for all your hard work. That ring has sentimental value! How could he have lost it," she rambles as she plops back on the bed. Suddenly, her eyes pop open wide. "Oh Edward, does momma bear know? She's probably heartbroken." She begins to cry into her hands._

_My heart aches knowing my lies are making my Bella cry. I feel like proverbial scum of the earth making her cry. That's it! This little white lie isn't worth seeing her in pain. "Oh baby, don't cry. It kills me when you cry." I pull her into my side. "Mom knows the ring was misplaced."_

"_You mean lost," she cries._

"_The jeweler assured her it will be replaced at absolutely no cost. Believe me, mom's fine. She understands that it was an accident. As long as he is willing to replace it, she fine." I fib as Bella continues to cry. My lies are like her morning vomit; I can't control the words that spew from my mouth. "Babe, look at me." I lift her chin so she can look into my lying eyes; her eyes welled with fresh tears. I wipe the tears away. "Come on, stop crying. We'll get the new ring soon . . . everything will be fine. I promise." I rest my forehead to hers as her tears rain down her cheeks. She gives me a weak reassuring smile. Looking into her said eyes I feel like the scum of the earth right now. _

Bella's sobs soften as she jerks away from me. Her hand flies over her mouth as she darts for the bathroom. _I repeat I am the scum of the earth_. Because of my lies, I've made the woman I love more than life itself sick to her stomach. With my head hung low and fully ashamed of myself, I follow her into the bathroom holding her hair and rubbing soothing circles to her back as she dry heaves. As usual, embarrassed by her uncontrollable vomiting, she pushes me away. With her weak voice, she croaks, "Go away Edward. You don't have to see this." She pushes me again. "I'll be fine . . ." she barely has time to utter another word before a new wave of nausea passes.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. I'm a doctor, remember? I've seen a lot worse."

Struggling to get to her feet, I carefully help her up. She holds onto the edge of the sink as she rinses and gargles before I lead her back to bed. We cuddle under a pile of blankets and her quilt becoming a mass of tangled arms and feet.

"I'm sorry I'm a crying mess of hormones these days," she speaks into our joined hands. "I'm just so sad that your ring was lost and, between that and these crazy hormones, I can't seem to stop crying these days. Believe it or not, I've never been much of a crier. These pregnancy hormones are knocking me on my ass. On top of worrying about my dad . . . I'm just so sorry Edward . . . you're exhausted and I woke you up over a silly crying fit." She places a gentle kiss to our hands, "go back to sleep poppa bear. Don't mind me . . . I'm a bit out of sorts these days. I love you babe, now come on, let's go back to sleep."

Already half asleep again, I pull her tighter to me as _I_ exhale silently praying that that damn jeweler hurries with Bella's engagement ring. I can't take lying to her and worrying that my plans for the most romantic proposal ever will be ruined. After all, this proposal will be my one and only proposing so it has got to be perfect for my perfect Bella . . . just the way I planned.

_**BPoV**_

I feel Edward's breathing even out and giggle as I hear a light snores. My poor tired poppa bear has so much on his plate right now. With everything else, he shouldn't have to deal with a hyped up on pregnancy hormones crying woman. I peek at the alarm clock. Wow, I need to get going. Dad will be wondering why I'm late. I try to slip out of Edward's arms but he holds onto me mumbling for me to stay. I am still for a few minutes before trying to free myself again. My silly pregnancy hormone induced heart flutters at the thought of Edward wanting to hold onto me _even_ in his sleep. I cover my mouth to stifle a silly giggle at how happy he makes me feel.

After a couple more unsuccessful attempts, I'm finally successful in slipping out of Edward's embrace without waking him as he frowns and grumbles in his sleep. I slip my pillow between his empty arms and, again try not to giggle, as he snuggles deep into my fluffy replacement. Looking down at the father of my child, the man who cares for my father _and_ who loves me unconditionally, how could I have ever thought of living without him? I am so, so grateful he never gave up on me even when I did.

Walking down the stairs I hear the soft sounds of Esme's favorite singer. Grandma bear, as _Esme_ now insists on being called, sits on one end of the sofa diligently working on the baby's quilt. She hums to the song as one of her feet taps the floor. On my favorite comfy chair, grandpa bear, as _Carlisle_ now insists on being called, reads a medical journal; he's not humming to the music. That makes me smirk. I am mesmerized by this simple scene of two people so deeply in love with each other as sense of peace flows through me. I adore these two people . . . these polar opposites that so absolutely complete one another. After all their time together, they are still so deeply . . . and so passionately . . . and so utterly in love with each other.

In a blink of an eye, Esme and Carlisle fade away as different image unfolds . . . an image of Edward and I sitting in our family room. I spy a content smile, no a smirk, on my face while Edward's emerald green eyes sparkle with desire as he gazes over his magazine in my direct. And just as quickly, with another blink of an eye, grandma and papa bear reappear.

In that moment of crystal white clarity, I have an epiphany. But it's not really an epiphany. I've known it since the moment our finger tips set off our cosmic electric connection. I've just been too stubborn and to cowardly to say it out loud . . . but not anymore. I want their kind of forever kind of love . . . and I want that forever kind of love with my Edward.

I have one of those V8 moments. One of those 'smack the palm of my hand to my forehead' moments because I know I no longer need to try to recapture my lost youth . . . be afraid to settle down like my long lost mother . . . be afraid to plant roots . . . to be part of a loving family . . . constantly in search of some new electrifying adventure that I think I've missed. Edward _is_ my cosmic electric adventure. My beautifully perfect Edward slash Sheldon who is upstairs right now exhausted from working a long shift but who unselfishly stops to care for my father to make me happy. I have been a complete idiot. Why did I hesitant to move into his apartment? What was I waiting for . . . what was I thinking? Without a single doubt in my mind, I know exactly what I want for the rest of my life . . . I want that Esme and Carlisle forever kind of love and I am going right upstairs to get it.

I turn on my heels and march back up the stairs. A goofy lopsided smirk spreads across my face at my life changing epiphany. My euphoric heart races knowing our forever will officially begin in a matter of minutes. I need to capture it on film. I haven't touched my camera since dad's stroke but I feel like everything is going to work out. I quietly snap a few pictures of my peacefully sleeping man. _Gosh, he makes my toes curl just looking at him. _I normally despise selfies but I take a couple of myself for the occasion. I want show Edward our before and after faces as we begin our forever. _Yup, I'm definitely turning into a girly girl. _ Facing Edward, I slip into our bed placing my head on the pillow so when he opens his gorgeous green eyes our eyes will meet.

Some unintelligible words escape Edward's mouth as we naturally snuggle into each other's arms. Even in his sleep, his arms wrap around me. My arms are trapped between both our chests as I tap his chest with the tip of my finger whispering his name. I feel a little guilty for waking him _again_ but our forever can't wait any longer. _I know he won't mind._

"Edward," I softly murmur. "Baby please wake up. I have to ask you something really important," I continue to whisper until I feel him stir. I place three gentle kisses to his pouty lips.

"Babe," he croaks, "you know I love you but I'm so tired. I'm sorry . . ."

"Oh baby," I stifle a laugh knowing he thinks I want sex. _Well, I always want sex with my hot doc but right now is not the time . . . maybe later. _"I'm glad you love me because I love you too but I need to talk to you right _now_. It's extremely important."

In a start, I feel his heart jolt as he pushes away from me. His sleepy eyes are wide open searching. "What's the matter Bella? Is everything okay? It's not the baby is it?"

"No, no . . . relax, lay down. I'm fine, the baby is fine. As a matter of fact, everything is perfect, more than perfect really." I take a deep breath before continuing. "You're perfect. You're perfect for me Edward."

Giving me a quizzical look, he lies on his back. He folds his arm resting his head on his hand. He gives me a sexy sleepy smile. "Bella, you're perfect. You're perfect for me too."

I rest my head on his chest, his heartbeat slightly racing, as his warm arms again naturally envelope me and I feel with every fiber of my being that this is right . . . I am home and he _is_ my forever.

"Edward?" I pat the spot over his heart to get his attention. A small smile spreads across my face as my fingers tingle from our cosmic electric connection. I love that that hasn't changed.

"Hmmmmm." His voice fills with sleep.

"Edward Cullen," I begin but he interrupts.

"Bella Swan," he mimics me.

"Edward Cullen I love you so much."

"Bella Swan, I love you so much too," he repeats with his sexy sleepy voice.

I lift myself up on his chest allowing me to deeply gaze into his loving eyes, deep into his perfect soul and speak, "Edward, do you promise to love me and to hold me from this day on," I momentarily pause as his heartbeat begins to race, his eyes widen. "For better or for worse . . . for richer, for poorer . . . in sickness and in health . . . to love and to cherish . . . until death do us part," I ask.

Without skipping a beat, Edward declares, "I do." He searches deep into my eyes into the depth of _my_ soul and repeats _my_ words, "Bella, do you promise to love me and to _behold_ me from this day on . . . for better or for worse . . . for richer, for poorer . . . in sickness and in health . . . to love and to cherish . . . until death do us part."

"I do," I declare with all my heart and all my soul to _my_ forever. "But what's all that _beholding_ business? Isn't it just to have and to hold?"

Edward takes a deep breath as the most glorious smile spreads across his face. "Bella, I am nothing but an old fashion traditional kind of man so when we say our vows I'm saying beholding."

"Well, I'm saying holding . . . hey wait a minute," I stutter.

Edward cups my face in his hands as my searching eyes look deep into his questioning eyes. In this moment, our moment time seems to stand still. With his velvet smooth voice, he prays, "Bella Swan, will you marry me and be my forever?"

Hoping he hears how much I truly love him, I cry, "Yes, Edward I'll marry you," before crash my lips to his.

My elated tears fall freely as they mingle with Edward's tears. We allow our kisses to speak the words we are feeling. We hold onto each other desperate to be as close as possible in each other's arms. I suck his upper pouty lips as he takes my lower. The tips of our tongues touch sending a shockwave through my body as they begin to their sweet dance. Reluctant to break our hold, I inhale. Unfortunately, the need for oxygen forces us to break our forever kiss. Our foreheads meet, our eyes sparkle as silly grins spread across our faces. We don't speak. We simply share silly grins until Edward pulls me into his arms.

"So I guess we're getting married," I tease as I catch my breath and my heartbeat races.

"I guess we are." Edward grins.

"Hey, I just realized something. I was going to propose to _you_. That's why I woke you up."

"Yeah, well _I_ was going to propose to _you. _I was just waiting for your engagement ring . . ."

"My engagement ring?"

"Yes, your engagement ring.

A silly grin spread across my face. "You got me an engagement ring? When?"

**EPoV**

Suddenly, a sense of panic spreads across my face as I move away from Bella. "Okay, Bella promise me you won't get mad," I stutter as my nervous eyes search the room for nothing in particular.

"We're back to that again?" Bella looks at me with a skeptical eye. "I promise I won't get mad," she drones, "now speak."

"Well ummm . . . remember when I told you the jeweler lost your ring?"

"Yes, I remember. How could I forget? Continue."

_She doesn't sound happy even though this should one of the happiest moments of our lives. _"Well, the jeweler didn't really misplace the ring and I didn't have it sent out to be cleaned. I lied to you." _There I said it. The weight has been lifted._

"Edward, you've never lied to me."

It hurts me to hear hurt in her voice. Cowardly, I look down to my hands as I twist them nervously. "I promise I will never lie to you again, I promise. It was just this one time. I won't do it ever again . . . and it really wasn't a big lie. It was more like a little white lie," I gulp. "I sent the ring to the jeweler. That part is true but . . . but I sent it to the jeweler so he could redesign it for you. I explained what I want your ring to look like . . . he's turning _our_ ring into your engagement ring and our wedding bands."

Hearing her gasp, I look up into her eyes . . . her eyes filled with tears. "Oh baby, don't cry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I planned for it to be a surprise but, well, we both know how my plans have been going lately." I laugh half-heartedly.

She blinks and her tears fall down her cheeks. She wipes them away before speaking. Bella's voice quivers, "I don't think it is possible to love you more than I love you right at this very moment Edward Cullen." Her eyes well up again. "You _are_ my forever." She places a whisper of a kiss to my lips before resting her head to my heart.

I wrap my arms around her placing one hand over our child. "And, you're my forever."

In comfortable silence, we sit wrapped in each other's arms until Bella breaks the silence. "Now that that's settle, go back to sleep poppa bear. You're exhausted . . ."

I attempt to interrupt but she will have none of it emphatically shaking her head side to side.

"No, you're exhausted and you need your sleep. I didn't sleep well last night without you, so I'm going to take a nap before I go see dad. I need to tell him I'm getting married and . . . and about the baby."

"Don't tell him today. I want us to tell him together."

Bella nods in agreement, "Now go to sleep. I'll be right here, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me Edward slash Sheldon. And, I promise you, once you are well rested, we _will_ celebrate our engagement and _you are_ going to need all your strength." She devilishly wags her eyebrows and smirks. "These pregnancy hormones are doing wonders for my sexual urges," she giggles before placing one last kiss to my lips. "Now, sleep my love."

With the excitement of our engagement, I don't think I _can_ sleep but a moment later I release a whopper of a yawn. Bella reaches over hitting play on the Ipod. She groans, "Seriously, this is the first song we hear after the most perfect proposal ever? Every time we hear this song, we will think of this moment . . . I guess this is our song. Oh, grandma bear is gonna _love_ this," she moans.

I pull her closer to my chest releasing a sleepy chuckle as the familiar words fill my ears _. . . If there's anything you need All you have to do is say, You know you satisfy everything in me, We shouldn't waste a single day . . . So don't stop me falling, It's destiny calling, A power I just can't deny, It's never changing, Can't you hear me, I'm saying, I want you for the rest of my life . . . Together forever and never to part, Together forever we two, And don't you know, I would move heaven and earth, To be together forever with you . . . If they ever get you down, There's always something I can do, Because I wouldn't ever wanna see you frown, I'll always do what's best for you . . . There ain't no mistaking, It's true love we're making, Something to last for all time, It's never changing, Can't you hear me, I'm saying, I want you for the rest of my life . . . So don't stop me falling, It's destiny calling, A power I just can't deny, It's never changing, Can't you hear me, I'm saying I want you for the rest of my life . . . together forever . . . _

**A/N: **Come on people you know you sang the lyrics. LOL! Once again, so sorry for the delay. I revised this chapter about five different times and still not sure. Let me know what you think. Thanks to those who let me reach 500 reviews. I'm getting greedy because now I want 600. So, if you read this chapter, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT.


	45. Chapter 45 Take Me to Your Heart

**A/N: Happy New Year to all! I'm so sorry for the long delay but, like everyone else, the holidays got in the way. I also got to spend a week in Seattle and watched the fireworks at the Space Needle on New Year's Eve. Let me know what you think snoopylover60. And, as always, this chapter is not beta'd so, if you find any mistakes, kindly let me know.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR anything connected to the Big Bang Theory but I do love Sheldon Cooper. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 45 "Take Me to Your Heart"**

_**BPoV**_

'_So don't stop me falling,' _I hum along to our song, '_It's destiny calling, A power I just can't deny It's never changing, Can't you hear me, I'm saying I want you for the rest of my life . . . together forever . . . _I quietly hum to _our_ silly little love song as I snap a few more post engagement pictures of my sleeping fiancé. His face has the most gorgeous grin. '_He must be dreaming of me,' _I giggle. Feeling more than a bit giddy, I take a couple of silly face selfies to commemorate the moment. _Yup, I'm officially a knocked up, pregnancy hormone infused engaged giddy girl. Boy, that's a mouthful. _Reviewing the slideshow on my camera, I notice a definite twinkle in my eyes. It's the twinkle Edward talks about but I also see . . . a twinkle of hope . . . or contentment . . . maybe it's my pregnancy glow . . . a definite spark of love . . . or maybe all of the above . . . yup, I go with all of the above. I'm just so happy I can't think straight. I never truly thought I could or would ever be this happy . . . ever.

Careful not to wake _my_ fiancé . . . _snicker, snicker I love saying fiancé _. . . I tuck the blankets over _my_ fiancé's shoulders, place a soft kiss atop his unruly hair and place an _I love you_ kiss to his ear. His grin widens at my declaration and his sleepy grin is my downfall. Without a second thought, I slip off my clothes and slip back into the warm bed and into the welcoming arms of my awakening fiancé.

**EPoV**

"I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come back to bed." My sleepy voice hitches as the tip of Bella's hot tongue outlines the curves of my ear; she whispers words of love and affection as my body begins to react to her every word and electric touch. Her hands inch up my chest forcing us to break our connection so I can pull off my t-shirt. Haphazardly, I toss it across the room as her lips return to my heated skin. Obligingly, I lift my head allowing her to place soft wet kisses along my jawline to my pulsating pressure point. It's hard to catch my breath as she runs her tongue along my neck and sucks causing my entire body to quiver. My hands greedily explore the soft curves of her body. I sigh at the slightest of bumps just below her bellybutton . . . _our_ baby bear.

"I couldn't leave . . . _kiss_ . . . without letting you . . . _kiss_ . . . know how happy . . . _kiss_ . . . you make me . . . _kiss_ . . . so happy . . . _mmm_ . . . and thanks for agreeing . . . _kiss_ . . . to um marrying me . . . oh you're so hot . . . _kiss . . . _when you have . . . _kiss_ . . . _mmmm_ . . . this sexy man stubble . . . _kiss_ . . . I especially enjoy how it . . . _mmm_ . . . feels against my thighs," she whimpers as two of my fingers enter her already quivering core. She hitches a leg over my hip giving me easy access to her welcoming heat. I curl my fingers in as my thumb pleasures her throbbing swollen clit. Her breathing escalates as her warm walls begin to tighten around my fingers. She's close to her _first_ orgasm as I quickly flip her onto her back eliciting a surprised giggle. I need to touch every inch of her skin. Wanting to show her how much she means to me, I take command of our lovemaking leaving wet kisses between her breasts before my tongue twirls one of her hardened nipples. I smirk as she quivers at the attention I lavish on her body . . . _mine to worship forever_. Urgently, I bite down on the pebbled peak sucking and twirling my tongue around her sensitive nipple. She arches her back as she struggles to catch her breath. Her heated chest rises up and down at the sensation. Sucking on her other breast I feel her body . . . her walls begin to tremble before she calls out my name. Her hands weave into my hair tugging at the roots as she begs for more. She lets out a whimper as I release her nipple only to moan as I attack her lips.

She welcomes my tongue into her mouth as her velvet tongue slides over mine. With just as much urgency, she takes control of the kiss; our tongues fighting to dominate to satisfy our insatiable need to be as close as humanly possible to each other. The need for air forces us to break our kiss. As she gasps for air, I fix a trail of hot wet kisses down her chest. Her legs tremble in anticipation knowing where my kisses are heading. Hooking her legs over my shoulders, I rub my chin against her inner thighs as she mumbles some incoherent words of passion. She grabs onto the sheets as I lick and suck her clit. I will give her anything she wants . . . anything she needs. Her legs tense as her back arches off the bed as my tongue licks her entrance.

"Please Edward . . . I can't wait any longer . . . _ummm_ . . . please, I need you so badly now," she barely manages to utter.

I give her clit one last lick as her body shivers in appreciation. As I make my way back to her parted lips, she wraps her legs around my waist. We pause as we look into each other's eyes knowing we both see more than sheer lust; we see the pure and simple love we feel for each other and our child. Our kiss is a declaration of our pure and true love. No words are needed. When the kiss ends, I place the tip of my rock hard cock at her entrance feeling her lips quiver in anticipation. She is warm and wet and welcoming; she is _my_ home.

Slowly, we move together as our electric connection shoots through our bodies. As my thrust quicken, she digs her heels into my ass clawing my back trying to get as close as possible. Needing more I change positions. I guide her legs up and around my neck enabling me to give her more, harder deeper. She looks down at our connection watching me move in and out of her as she cries out.

Releasing her legs, it's now her turn to flip me on my back. Fixing her eyes on mine, she places one hand on my chest as she takes my cock in the other centering my tip at her entrance. Giving me a wicked grin, she slides down my cock shuttering at the depths of our connection. We gasp at the sensation of this new position; I fill her as her slick walls coat me. As she begins to move, I sit up to capture a hardened nipple in my mouth. Moans of pleasure and lust and always love escape filling the room. Her body shivers at the unbelievable friction her hip movements send to her clit. She pounds up and down and back and forth desperate to feel every sensation her movements offer. Without breaking our connection, she's on her back again as I take control pounding deeper and faster until I feel her walls squeeze my cock as my balls tighten. Our movements become erratic as together we orgasm with flashes of brilliant and electric sparks. In unison, we proclaim our forever love as we calm to catch our breath and slow our palpitating hearts. We are hot and sweaty and sticky and a tangled mess of arm and legs and I couldn't be more satisfied or happier.

_BPoV_

More than satisfied I inhale, "Well, if that's what you can do on an hour of sleep, I can hardly wait until you have a full night's sleep. But as satisfied as I am right now, I am sorry for waking you. I know how tired you were . . . are."

"If you hadn't gotten back into bed, I would have grabbed you before you had a chance to walk out the door. Falling asleep is no way to celebrate our engagement. I don't know what either of us was thinking."

I giggle, "Obviously, we weren't thinking at all. Good thing _I_ came to my senses and remedied the situation."

Edward yawns, "Hey, I said I was going to grab you . . . _yawn_ . . . before you had a chance to leave." He yawns for the third time.

"Okay, okay big boy, this is our first fight as an engaged couple and we can duke it out later, even though _I_ did get back into bed first," I quickly add, "_but_ right now you are even more exhausted than before and need to get some sleep doc."

With another yawn, Edward agrees, "You did kind of tire me out."

"I sure did, didn't I? Now go to sleep. That's an order." I agree as I give my fiancé one last kiss and an 'I love you' for good measure before slipping out of bed. I toss Edward his shirt before heading to the shower. Inhaling Edward's scent, I frown at the thought of washing his scent off my body but I can't go see my dad smelling of Edward _or_ sex. That would be so wrong in so many ways so I scrub away. Returning to my room to dress, Edward is fast asleep. Before leaving the room, I can't resist running my finger through my fiancé's hair just once more. _I just love saying that word fiancé . . . fiancé, fiancé, fiancé. I think it's the best sounding word in the world? I declare fiancé might be my new favorite word. Yup, I was definitely an idiot to think I could ever live without this man._

Tiptoeing down the stairs, I am practically walking on air my feet barely touching the ground. It's as if I'm floating on a cloud of pink and blue cotton candy . . . with a cotton candy sweet smelling aroma filling the air. I smell the sappy sweet fragrance as my heart sighs thinking about Edward's proposal and our delayed celebration. A silly lopsided lovesick grin spreads across my face. Yup, these pregnancy hormones are doing a number on me but seriously I don't care that I'm acting like a seventeen year old school girl in love for the first time. I am just so ecstatically, euphorically, over the moon happy right now because _my_ fiancé is sleeping right upstairs. I laugh out loud at my giddiness.

Passing the family room, I peek in but no longer see Esme sitting on the sofa. I spy Carlisle napping so I head in the direction of the kitchen. To my utter surprise, I find Esme softly weeping at the kitchen table. Her tears cause my cotton candy cloud to dissolve into globs of sugary mess. Her tears erase my giddy smile as my heart nearly breaks. Discreetly, she wipes away a few of her tears before sipping from her tea cup.

"Momma bear, what's the matter?" I drop to my knees looking up into her watery eyes. "Why are you crying?" I wipe away a fresh set of tears from her cheeks. "Are you sick? Do you want me to call Carlisle?"

At the sound of Carlisle's name, she turns her back to me and huffs. "Don't say that man's name in front of me," she cries with a voice full of disgust.

"What are you talking about? You love grandpa bear more than your own life. What's happened? Did you have an argument about something? Why are you crying?"

Wiping away a few more tears, Esme turns to me grumbling, "I simply can't believe he knew about _my_ first grandchild before me," she pouts pointing to her chest. "_You_ know how badly I've wanted a grandbaby. How could_ he_ have found out before me? Oh, and he is so smug about it," her voice seeping with indignation. "He keeps rubbing it in . . . and rubbing it in that he knew about _my_ first grandchild before me," she seethes.

A relieved smile begins to spread across my face at Carlisle's obvious teasing but I force back the smile. I don't want Esme to think I'm laughing at her misery. I love this woman about half an inch less than I love Edward. "Oh grandma bear don't be too hard on Carlisle." Again, she huffs at the sound of his name like a pouty child. "If it is any consolation to you, he knew about the pregnancy before Edward _or_ me and I'm the one pregnant." I try to lighten the mood. "He sort of has the upper hand on us simple folk . . . after all he is a highly qualified and respected doctor. He just recognized the signs before anyone else."

I move a chair next to her wrapping one arm over her shoulder. Defeated, she plops her head on my shoulder. I'm heartbroken that she is truly wounded; my earlier giddiness and afterglow is all but gone now.

As her head rest on my shoulder, my thoughts search for the perfect words to ease her pain, make her stop crying _and, _at the same time, help her forgive her husband. And then, to quote the great and powerful Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Bazinga! Confidently, I speak, "How about this, you forgive your wonderfully loving husband for being too smart for his own good _and_ I'll tell you a secret I am one hundred and ten percent positive he doesn't know."

Esme's head pops up as her eyes widen; her teary emerald green eyes soften at my words. She seems to be shaking off her blues. "Oh sweetie, don't mind me. I'm not really that upset with my husband . . . and you're right, I am crazy about that old geezer. I'm just being a silly old woman. I think I'm just menopausal. I catch myself crying _all_ the time now for no good reason. That's not like me at all . . . and, lately I think I'm a bit more irrational than usual even for me." She lets out a weak laugh, inhales the aroma of her tea and takes a soothing sip.

"Well aren't we a couple of crybabies." I chime in. "Welcome to the club grandma bear, these pregnancy hormones have me crying at a drop of a hat these days too."

"Between your raging pregnancy and my menopausal hormones, I guess there's no more going down to the dock to pick up sailors," Esme jokes as she wipes all her tears away.

"I guess not," I concur with a wink before dropping my head on her shoulder. "We'll just have to leave the picking up of sailors to Alice and Rosalie."

"Yeah right," Esme grumbles, "since Edward spends most of his time up in _your_ bedroom," she wiggles her eyebrows as the sparkle in her eyes return, "my daughter has been missing in action. I haven't seen Alice in who knows how long. I suspect she's just waiting for you and Edward to decide when you are going to find a place of your own so she can move in with Jasper. And, as for Rosalie, she's MIA too. I'm assuming my nephew is keeping her rather busy these days too," she giggles, "ah, young lust." Esme offers, "Hey, you want some herbal tea?"

"Thanks, that'd be great but I do have to get going soon to see my dad soon. I'm so, so late as it is."

We sit in comfortable silence quietly sipping our tea as my mind replays Edward's proposal over and over and over again. I feel a silly grin begin to spread across my face. _I'm getting married_. Finally, grandma bear clears her throat nudging me with her shoulder. "So what's the secret that Carlisle doesn't know anything about?" She whispers through a smirk.

I smirk back relieved that she's feeling much more like grandma bear again.

"Well," I drag out the word as I search the empty kitchen for any hidden spies. At my strange behavior, Esme curiously looks at me. After all, this is top secret, at least until Edward speaks to my dad but what the hell. I'm going for it. "Well, a few hours ago, Edward proposed."

A beaming satisfied smile spreads across Esme's face as she fist pumps before enveloping me into her arms, "Yes! . . . wait," she stretches away from me searching my eyes, "you did say _yes_ right?" she hesitates.

"Of course I said yes silly woman." I return her motherly embrace. "I love him so, so much. He is perfect . . . he is perfect for me. After my foolish irrational behavior in Forks . . . believing I was doing the right thing by breaking up with him . . . and Edward never giving up on me," I shake the thought from my head, "I knew . . . know, without a doubt in my mind and my heart and my soul, that I _couldn't_ live my life without him. He _is_ my life." I proclaim as happy tears well up. _And, the pregnancy hormones are back with a vengeance._

Esme takes my face in her hands. Her emerald eyes sparkle with tears of love and honesty as she speaks, "You, young lady, are perfect for my baby boy . . . my son. You _are_ his life and I . . . I couldn't have asked for a better future daughter-in-law . . . and Alice . . . oh, Alice is going to be so happy to have you as a sister-in-law . . . as a sister." She gives me a mother of all bear hugs taking my breath away until she suddenly pulls away from me again. "But I thought his plan was to wait until your ring was ready? What happened?"

"Wait, you knew he was going to propose?"

Esme rolls her eyes "Duh."

I return the eye roll. "Of course you knew. I forgot there are no secrets in the Cullen family. Anyway, after coming to the realization that I'm a dope for not moving in with Edward when we first got back I decided to propose to Edward _but_ he interrupted me and, and well, we're engaged," I whisper shout. I am glowing as my eyes twinkle in delight and my love sick smile spreads across my face.

"My poor baby boy, none of his plans are working these days. He wouldn't tell me any of the details. He said that was between the two of you but I know he did have something special planned . . . oh, my poor son I'm sure he's so disappointed," Esme sighs.

"Oh, I don't think he's _too_ disappointed if you get my meaning," I wiggle my eyebrows and blush at my insinuation. "Now remember no one knows about the engagement but you," I wink. "Edward wants to talk to my dad and then we will tell everyone. So for now," I place one finger to my lips, "mums the word. Don't even tell Edward that you know. It's _our_ little secret okay. Take that Carlisle," I snap my fingers in the air.

With a devious sparkle in her eyes, Esme agrees, "Yeah, take that Carlisle," she concurs as we both giggle in silence.

I give Esme one last hug and kiss before heading to see my dad. I'm so late but I'm sure once he hears why he'll forgive me. I grab Edward's car keys and head out the door.

Even from this distance, I recognize her. My heart skips a beat when I realize she is walking directly towards me. I can't ignore her; I've seen her and she's seen me. Our paths are going to pass cross. There's no avoiding this so I take a deep breath and smile as we meet. I stop and greet her, "Hello, Tanya right? How are you?" I'm shocked when she nods and smiles at me.

"Yes, that's right. Bella, hello, I'm fine thanks. How are you? Are you here to see Edward?" She asks as she removes her sunglasses. Her eyes shine as she continues to smile. Here voice is calm, casual friendly. There is no sound of sadness no hint of hurt.

A sense of relief washes through me. "No, Edward's at home sleeping." I cringe saying the word _home_ but she shows no reaction to my response. "I'm here to visit my father. He had a stroke and is a patient at the rehab center."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope he's doing better. Are Dr. Cullen and Edward on his case?" She asks with true concern.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen consulted with his original physician and has now taken over as his primary physician . . . and, of course, Edward helps with his PT. I'm so lucky for all their help. I don't know what I would have done without them."

"Your father is so lucky to have them on his team." Tanya places a reassuring hand on mine. Her smile morphs into a look of nervous concern. "Um, Bella . . ." her nervous eyes search from side to side. "I just wanted to say . . . I just wanted to say how sorry I am for my recent behavior . . . you know . . . at the Cullen's on Christmas," she gulps, "and when I bumped into you and Edward on New Year's Eve."

"Tanya . . ."

"No, please, let me say this. I need to say this. I'm so sorry for making you feel uncomfortable in my presence. My recent behavior was unforgiveable and inexcusable. Someone," she clears her throat, "someone made me see that what I _thought_ I felt for Edward wasn't real. He . . . um he made me see that I made our dates more than what they actually were. I had had a silly school girl crush on Edward for so many years but he never really showed any interest in me. And when he asked me out I thought he had finally come around but, looking back, our dates were never really anything more than two friends going out to dinner or a movie, nothing more, nothing serious. I read far too much into it. That was all me." She cringes, "heck, he never even tried to kiss me other than a goodnight kiss on the cheek. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for the way I acted. Can you forgive me?"

"Oh Tanya, there is nothing to forgive. I'm sorry too. I honestly didn't know you and he were dating when I first went out with him . . ."

"No, no, no. Like I said, we were never really ever dating. He was never dishonest about his feelings or intentions towards me. That was all on me. I made it into something it wasn't but now . . ." a radiant smile spreads across her face.

"But now you have Alistair," I finish her sentence. Her eyes widen in surprise and just as quickly soften.

"Yes, now I have Alistair but how did you know?" She says his name reverently, lovingly.

"Oh Tanya, on New Year's Eve you were looking at Edward the way Alistair was looking at you. I felt so sorry for him. He looked so hurt when you got upset that Edward and I were together but I'm glad that everything has worked out."

"I am too! He's amazing," she gushes, "he forced me to see what was right in front of me all the time. I was such an idiot but I'm so happy now and I never get tired of listening to him talk. I just love his British accent."

"I'm happy for you Tanya. I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude but I really need to be going. I'm so late . . ."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're right; I'm holding you up. Your father's probably wondering what's holding you up . . . but I'm glad we talked." Surprisingly, she wraps me in her arms. "I will pray for your father Bella."

I wrap my arms around her, "Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you for the apology too even though it really wasn't necessary. I hope you and Alistair will be happy together."

As we pull away, I place my hand out to her, "friends?"

Tanya takes my hand in hers, "friends."

"Bye Tanya."

"Bye Bella."

When I finally walk into dad's room the attendant is feeding dad. His eyes move in my direction and guilt immediately washes over me for being so late. His eyes tell me he has been waiting for me. I lean over placing a kiss to his cheek and, as always, he lets out an embarrassed grunt at my display of public affection. I giggle.

"Hey dad, I'm so sorry I'm late. I sort of had a busy morning." I look to Bree, "If it's okay, I'd like to take over feeding him." She reviews how to correctly feed him and what to watch out for as he eats. I reassure her I'll call if I have any problems.

As I feed dad, I talk about my encounter with Tanya. I tell him that Edward and I will be here together in a day or two for a very serious talk. He grunts at my seriousness. I assure him it's a very good kind of serious talk.

After his meal, he sleeps for a bit. I replay the events of the morning as I stare blankly at the television. My memories are interrupted when the speech therapist comes in. Slowly, I wake Charlie for his session.

"Okay Charlie and Bella, are you ready for today's session?"

I nod and dad grunts. Grunting is a good sign. I smile.

**A/N: Once again, sorry for the long delay. Show me some New Year love by posting a review. That would be such a great way of starting the New Year with a bang! I'm thinking two more chapters and epilogue before we say goodbye. **


	46. Chapter 46 No More Looking for Love

**A/N: So this is the second to last chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR anything connected to the Big Bang Theory but I do love Sheldon Cooper. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 46 "No More Looking for Love" **

**EPoV**

"Hyperhidrosis, check . . . Tachycardia, check . . . throbbing in temporal region, check . . . pulsatile tinnitus, check . . . Blepharospasm, check . . . it is official, I'm dying. Despite his medical condition, I am one hundred percent certain that Chief Swan is going to murder me." I mumble to myself. _I don' know why I am so nervous about? This is a good thing. Bella and I are getting married and having a baby; we are going to be a family. Okay, so maybe it's not quite the way I had planned my life but . . . _ I glance over at my glowing Bella and am certain I wouldn't have had it any other way. _So why am I so nervous? _ From my peripheral, I notice Bella now giving me a questioning look.

"What are mumbling about Sheldon?" She slides an arm around my waist pulling me closer to her. "Stop worrying so much. You look like you're about to pass out. Good thing we're in front of a medical facility," she smirks. "I promise everything is going to fine."

Doubt spreads across my face; I let out a weak laugh. "Easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to tell your father that I knocked you up and we're getting married . . . in _that_ order."

Shaking her head side to side, she groans at my words. Even before she speaks, I know I will hear irritation in her voice. "For the last time Edward, you did not knock me up," she waves her index finger between the two of us. "_We_ got pregnant. No, it wasn't a planned pregnancy . . . things happen . . . but, correct me, if I'm wrong, we are both over-the-moon ecstatic about this baby." Bella rubs her small. "Am I right?" She huffs, "I repeat, am I right?"

I nod mumbling, "Yes, you're right but. . ."

"No buts Edward." She releases another frustrated breath. "Granted, we have a lot to think about . . . where we're going to live . . . and you know no matter where we decide to live I . . . _we_ need to carefully consider my dad's needs too . . . I won't leave him on his own . . . and the fact that you are taking such wonderful care of him . . . by the way, have I told you how much I love you for everything you've done . . . are doing for him . . . anyway," she shakes her head, "I just can't leave him alone in rehab center. I don't care how hard it's going to be caring for my dad and a newborn. I just won't . . . and, this whole marriage thing . . . are we going to get married before or after the baby is born?" The confidence in her voice begins to waver.

But now it's my turn to interrupt _her_ dwindling tirade, "_we_ are getting married as soon as humanly possible. That, Ms. Swan soon-to-be Mrs. Cullen, is non-negotiable." Now I wrap my arm around her waist pulling her closer to me. "I thought I made that point crystal clear during our last fight . . . I mean discussion." I clear my throat. "I told you I'm an old fashion traditional guy and _we will_ be married long before my baby is born. Besides the fact that I am unconditionally, irrevocably, hopelessly, insanely, crazy in love with you . . . and our little baby . . . and the simple logistics . . . I need to get you on my medical insurance ASAP."

"Um excuse me bossy . . . I think you mean before _our_ baby is born . . . and I want to get married as soon as possible too 'cause I'm unconditionally, irrevocably, hopelessly, insanely, crazy in love with you too Dr. Cullen." She lets out another ragged breath as a new batch of hormone- induce tears begin to fall.

"Oh baby, come here," I look around spotting a wooden bench near a bare red maple tree. I lead her toward the bench. I sit pulling her onto my lap. Instinctively, she rests her head against my chest grabbing onto my shirt. I hold her in my arms as she cries. I murmur into her hair, "Oh babe, don't cry. I know everything is going to work out. What happened to my strong confident woman?" And then I simply hold onto her letting her know how much I love her and our baby. We sit together until her cries soften.

When her cries subside she hiccups for air. She wipes away the remnants of her little outburst. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me these days. One minute I'm fine and the next I turn into a puddle of tears. I can't seem to control myself." She takes a soothing breath. "Please tell me these crying fits aren't going to last my entire pregnancy. I can't handle this emotional rollercoaster," a tiny smile finally reappearing.

"Medically speaking, every woman is different. I can't tell you if crying is going to be an ongoing occurrence or not. Either way, it doesn't matter. Anytime you feel like crying, cry right here." I pat my leg. "I love you and I love that you are having _our_ baby, tears or no tears." I kiss her the top of her head. "All better?" I check as she nods against my chest. "Come on. Let's go face the firing squad . . . I mean let's go talk to your dad," I tease.

She lifts her face and captures my lips pulling me into her. I forget we are sitting on a bench in front of the rehab center . . . in front of strangers . . . I forget about everything when her hands grab hold of my hair and her breathing becomes labored. We finally pull away resting forehead to forehead eyes sparkling, hearts pounding. "Yup, much better," I breathe and she sighs.

I lead Bella to a waiting room near the chief's room, "Now, let me go in first and talk to him as we agreed. There are some things I would like to say to him . . . you know . . . man to man. Then, you will talk to him before we join forces so to speak. And Bella," I caution, "remember I don't know how much, of what we tell him, he will understand or even be able to process or remember. Yes, he is demonstrating some improvement but he still has a very long recovery ahead of him. Don't expect too much of a reaction. I don't want you to be hurt or disappointed if he doesn't show signs or acknowledge what we are telling him."

Anxiously, Bella takes a chair in the waiting room. I give her a quick kiss on the lips before facing the chief. She offers me words of encouragement, "Go get 'em tiger." I turn back giving her two weak thumbs up as she winks back at me shaking her head side to side.

"Good morning Chief Swan. It's me Dr. Cullen . . . um Edward, Bella's boyfriend." Making sure I sit on his unaffected side, I grab a nearby chair positioning it so we are face to face . . . man to man. I take his hand in mine before speaking in hopes of getting some type of response confirming he is aware of my presence, aware of what I am about to say. I give his hand a slight squeeze and wait but get no response, disappointed but not surprised. Physically, he has shown some minor improvement but, other than some indecipherable sounds, his speech has not returned yet. Never letting go of his hand, I take a deep nervous breathe not sure where to begin. So I begin with what is most important in the world to me.

"Chief Swan, I am in love with your daughter," and suddenly the words are easy, "I love her more than my own life . . . she is my heart . . . she is my soul," my heart races acknowledging what she truly means to me . . . saying these words aloud . . . acknowledging them to her father, "she is my other half. I'm not complete without her." Inexplicably, I recall a story from an undergraduate English course. "Did you know in Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces? Anyway, Zeus was afraid of the power these creatures possessed so he decided to split them in half condemning them to spend the rest of their lives in search of their other half." I search his eyes praying he hears my words, understands them. "Well, I don't need to search any longer. I've found my other half. I knew the first time our fingers touched she . . . _Bella_ was my other half. We complete each other." Without hesitation, I continue, "I've asked Bella to be my wife and she has accepted. I promise to love her and take care of her every single day of our lives . . . forever." All my nervous jitters are gone and, for the first time, a glorious smile spreads across my face. "I had planned to talk to sooner but," I pause, ". . . but rest assured _you_ are the first to know of our engagement. I needed you to know of my intentions."

We sit in silence; our hands still connected. I allow him time to process my declaration . . . my words. Startled, I gasp breaking our silence as I feel the slightest of movement in his hand. As quickly as it moves, just as quickly it seizes _but_ I am filled with hope that he has understood my words and intentions. My eyes glisten with tears. _I must have caught something from Bella._ I blink and they escape down my face. Before continuing, I wipe away my tears. No matter the circumstances, this is the scary part. My heart races with fear. Loudly, I clear my throat.

"Bella and I have agree to marry as soon as possible . . . because . . . well, um because we love each other and . . . I'm basically an old fashion traditional sort of man and . . . um, well you see Chief Swan," I rub my neck for no good reason at all, "well Bella and I are going to have a baby." _There,_ I said it. But I still stutter my next words, "Please, please believe that I had every intention of asking Bella to marry me long before we found out she was pregnant. I don't want you to think that I'm only marrying Bella because she's pregnant. That's the furthest from the truth. I am in love with Bella and she is in love with me. Our baby is just an added bonus," I proudly smile thinking of our child. "As soon as Bella left for Alaskan trip, I had a jeweler begin work on her engagement ring. He has assured me that the ring will _finally_ be ready in a couple of days." I add as proof that this wasn't a shotgun wedding before pausing again allowing _this_ new bit of news to be processed.

Once more, I am greeted with the slightest of movement in his hand. I take that movement as acknowledgement of my words and, once more, am hopeful. I place my other hand over our connected hands, "I promise with all my heart everything is going to be fine. I promise and I am a man of my word. So, um Bella's waiting in the other room. She wants to talk to you alone for a few minutes. I'll just go get her."

At my appearance at the doorway, Bella's eyes widen. "How'd it go?"

"I think it went as well as can be expected. Go on, he's waiting for you." I tilt my head in the direction of the chief's room.

_**BPoV**_

The chief's eyes meet mine the moment I enter the room. I kiss him on the forehead before taking a seat near his bed. Despite the fact that I am an adult, a college graduate, and have been caring for myself almost my entire life, I suddenly feel like the proverbial child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I take his hand in mine giving it two tight squeezes before talking. _Come on Bella, ju_st_ rip off the band aid with one quick tug. _"So yeah, um Edward and I are planning on getting married and we're going to have a baby but I guess you already know that part of it." There, I said it relieved no bolts of lightning struck me down. There was really nothing to be afraid of and now that I have opened the floodgates, I can't stop. "You know me dad. I never thought about settling down and getting married _or_ having a baby," I snort. "All I ever talked about was traveling and seeing the world and going from one new adventure to another. No settling down for this girl, no sir. In high school, boys never interested me. Hell, I never even dated until I got to college and, even then, it was only an occasional date now and then. No one captured my heart and soul until I met Edward. I think I fell in love with him." I pause inhaling a breath of air. "No, I know I fell in love with him the moment our fingers touched. I felt this crazy electric cosmic connection . . . I can't explain it . . . but that touch . . . that connection it brought me to life . . . I knew instantly that that man was . . . _is_ my other half . . . my soul mate. Edward _is_ my adventure . . . I can't live without him and _our_ baby," my eyes well up as I fight back my tears, "our baby is going to be one of my greatest adventures _ever_. And you better hurry up and get better." My tears fall and, this time, I don't fight them back. "You better hurry up and get better because Edward doesn't know a thing about fishing. You are going to have to teach my kid how to fish . . ." I leap out of my chair and rest my head against my father's chest. "Please dad," I whisper, "please get better. I don't think I could bare it if you aren't a part of your grandbaby's life. Please dad."

With my head resting against his chest, I feel my dad's heartbeat begin to race and I know he understands what I am saying. Not wanting to cause him any unnecessary stress, I stand, grab a tissue from the box on the side table and wipe my tears away. "Um, yeah this whole pregnancy thing has turned me into such crybaby. I seem to cry at the drop of hat these days."

Sometime later, Edward lightly taps on the door, "knock, knock . . . can I come in?"

I reach out for him and together we talk to the chief about everything. I help feed him as we continue to talk. When he falls asleep, I motion to Edward it's time to leave. I kiss him goodbye, tuck in his blanket and quilt, and turn off the light before slipping out. I look over my shoulder and smile content confident that everything is going to work out . . . going to be perfect actually.

Edward tangles his fingers with mine as we silently walk to the car. "What are you smiling about Bella?" Edward asks after about his third questioning glance at me.

"Mmmmm . . . I'm smiling because I know my dad is going to be fine . . . I know he understood what we talked about . . . I even think he is happy about the baby . . . I could tell by the way his heart beat faster and don't even try to example that with any of your medical mumbo jumbo," I scold. "Let me have this okay. I just know it. Everything is going to perfect." I inhale deeply and smile as I enjoy the passing Seattle scenery until another thought pops into my head. I turn and face my fiancé, "_and_ I didn't have morning sickness today." I lift my hand, "high five."

Pulling into the driveway, Edward releases a long drawn out yawn. "If you don't mind, I think I'm going go up and take a nap. My adrenal has finally dropped, I'm exhausted."

I giggle knowing he was so anxious about his looming talk with the chief.

Wrapped in one of her quilts and holding a cup of coffee, Esme eyes Edward as he trudges up the stairs as I follow behind him. "So how did it go kids?"

I pat Edward on the back and lay big fat wet kiss on his cheek. "It went fine, perfect actually. Everything is perfect. Now go take your nap baby boy. You've had a rough day."

A sleepy Edward mumbles something incoherent as he heads up the stairs to crash while I head for the kitchen. I must have jinxed myself because suddenly my stomach is doing somersaults so I boil some water for a cup of tea and grab a few crackers.

Once my tea is ready, I join Esme outside on the bench. She opens her quilt to me as her motherly warmth welcomes me. _I treasure how her simplest of acts makes me feel so loved. _"You look so pensive sitting out here all alone. Aren't you cold? It's freezing today." I sip my tea.

"No matter the weather, well, of course, not when it's raining, I love sitting out here . . . I do some of my best thinking sitting right in this exact spot. For some inexplicable reason, the cold air seems to clear my head. Besides I'm wearing my Christmas slippers with double knee socks, so I'm good." Esme stretches her feet out from under the blanket to show off her fuzzy slippers. "See?"

I look down at the wide eyes on her slippers. "So, what are you thinking about?" I look back into her serious eyes.

She sighs, "I've been thinking about this house and my husband and _all_ my children," she nudges my shoulder, "and _your_ father and, of course, the most important person in the world, _my_ grandbaby."

"Well, that sure is a lot to think about . . . care to be more specific," I urge.

She seems to look beyond her front yard . . . beyond the present. Sipping her coffee, she speaks. I hear the seriousness of her thoughts in her voice. "I'm thinking everything is changing." I want to interrupt but she continues, "Everything is changing _but_ in a good way, don't worry. With the birth of _my_ first grandbaby, The Cullen family will be welcoming a new generation. Carlisle and I are going to be grandparents. Oh, I can't wait to get my hands on my grandbaby." In anticipation of holding, her first grandchild, she shivers. "Alice is going to be an aunt . . . and you and Edward . . . well, you will be the parents now. _Get it?_ All of our roles are shifting. Everything is going to be different." She takes another sip of her coffee. "So, have you and Edward come to any definitive decisions as far as where you are going to live?" She pauses looking around, "and you know, when you are going to get married."

"No, other than no matter what we decide it will include my father."

Esme nods, "Of course, that's a given sweetie. How's he doing today?"

"He was very responsive given his condition. I _know_ he understood us. I know he is happy for us. I have to believe it . . . I just have to," my voice fades.

"You know, with some minor remodeling we could convert my workroom into a rather comfortable bedroom. It has easy access to the bathroom. And, it would be so easy to add a ramp . . ."

"Wait, what are you talking about? I can't let you . . ."

Esme holds up her hand, "Let me explain. I told you I've been doing a lot of thinking. There _is_ a brain under all this ageless beauty," she chuckles. "I'm thinking of giving you and Edward this house. It's just too big for Carlisle and me."

"No! Wait, what about Alice?"

"_What about Alice?_ Oh, don't worry about her. Pish, posh_ . . . _if you haven't noticed yet she's more the Escala type. And yes, I've been reading Edward's book when you're not here," Esme gives me a wicked wink, "_and_ when Alice is ready to settle down, of course, we will help her too." She looks around, "but this house . . . this house has you and Edward written all over it. The three of you will make this a home, the kind of home you have always wanted. Besides, I have an ulterior motive. There _are_ quite a few rooms in this house and I expect them _all_ to be filled," she demands.

I gasp then let out a snort, "Please grandma bear one kid at a time." I rub my growing baby pouch. "And, _if _Edward and I accept your kind offer, we will buy the house from you."

Esme harrumphs dismissing my offer with a wave of her hand, "We'll see about that," she sings.

For the next few hours, we talk about _her_ grandbaby. _Apparently, she doesn't care if the baby is a boy or girl since I am expected to fill all the rooms with babies._ We semi-plan a couple of possible wedding scenarios, and cry happy tears about the future until Esme brings up the topic of Renee. "So when was the last time you spoke to your mother?"

Childishly, I cringe rolling my eyes at her question.

"Don't make that face young lady. Whether you like it or not she _is_ your mother," she momentarily hesitates, "Look around. You have everything you have ever dreamed of here. You have an amazingly wonderful _man_ who loves you more than anything in the world . . . who has proven he will do anything for you. _You've_ stopped searching for your adventure but, for whatever reason, she hasn't, maybe she never will. Who knows?" She shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know _but_ I would like to think that, by this time in her life, she knows she's made some mistakes in her life _one_ being that she may not have been the best mother to you."

My tears flow freely as I listen to Esme's wise advice.

"Like I said, I'm not all beauty." She taps her temple, "Where do you think my baby boy got his smart," she laughs out loud wrapping her arm around my shoulder pulling me into her warmth.

A few minutes later, Alice's pulls into the driveway and Esme gives me a knowing nudge. "Watch this." She calls out to her daughter, "I'm glad you're here sweetie. Your dad and I are thinking of moving to a smaller place when he retires and are thinking of giving . . ."

"Stop right there woman," Alice commands. "You know I love this house and love to _visit_ but don't you dare try to pawn this off on me. Mother, really, I am offended. I thought you knew me better than that. Once I get my business going and become fabulously wealthy, I'm buying an apartment in the middle of downtown Seattle." She lets out a dreamy sigh, "maybe the penthouse at Escala." Coming out of her Escala daydream, Alice scolds, "really, mother I'm offended."

Once Alice is out of earshot, we break out into loud snorts of laughter. With a smug smile on her face, Esme winks, "Told you so."

A/N: So one more chapter and an epilogue. I may also do a short New Year's Eve outtake with Tanya and Alistair to see how they got together. If the feeling moves you, let me know what you think.


	47. Chapter 47 Thinking Out Loud

**A/N: I decided to break up the last official chapter into two shorter parts focusing on specific events. And huge thanks to snoopylover60, jule2, Vivi H88, Guest, cullemeadow, Mireads, manjuice, sujari6, JXB Addicted, blk3660, savannavansmutsmut, Edward's Baby Bella, dazzleglo, & mannco. I hope I didn't leave anyone out, please forgive me if I skipped anyone. Your comments encouraged me to see this story through to the end. In all honesty, I was feeling a bit down trodden with the lack of interest and reviews BUT your continual support helped me so, so much. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR anything connected to the Big Bang Theory but I do love Sheldon Cooper. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 47 "Thinking Out Loud"**

**EPoV**

"Babe, you awake?" I hear a slight confirmation hum despite her closed eyes. "I have to go to Dartmouth for a one day medical conference. I'm leaving the afternoon before the conference and will be back the morning after the meeting. I'd love for you to come with me. I've been worried about you. You're not getting enough rest these days. A short vacation will do you good even if all you do is stay at the bed and breakfast to catch up on your sleep."

Bella eyes shoot open, "Me! Edward don't be ridiculous. You are the one who works 12 hour shifts. If anyone needs to catch up on their sleep, it's _you_ not me. Anyway, I can't go with you. What about my dad?"

"Ha, or in the words of the infamous Sheldon Cooper, bazinga. I knew you were going to say that that is why yesterday I asked my dad and mom to look after him for a few days. You can't deny there's no one more suited to look after the chief than the eminent Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Besides, I already booked the flight. _You're_ _going_ so pack a bag. We leave tomorrow afternoon."

"Mmmmm, Dr. Cullen you're so bossy. I think _that_ book is giving you some ideas. I like it," she whispers against my neck as her lips make their way across my jawline before crashing to my lips, "morning breath be damned, I love you doc," all thoughts, of the conference, forgotten.

Despite the Seattle traffic, we make it to the airport in record time. As I grab the luggage from the trunk, dad calls out, "Have fun kids. See you in a few days. And, don't worry Bella, Esme and I will take excellent care of your father."

Bella was right about one thing. I did indeed need to catch up on my sleep; we both did. After stowing our carry-on luggage and Bella's camera, we relax into our seats. The moment our seatbelts are buckled we cuddle under a blanket and a moment later we are both sound asleep.

I feel a soft tap to my shoulder. "Sir, we'll be landing soon."

"Thanks," I respond through a croaky voice. "Babe, wake up. We're going to land soon."

"No, I don't want to," Bella complains into side.

Once settled into our room at the bed and breakfast, we head over to Mi Piace for dinner. "God, I've missed this pizza. Jasper and I use to enjoy coming to this place to relax."

Bella looked around the restaurant but didn't recognize any of the waitresses or workers. "I don't even see Mrs. Kelley. I wonder if she sold her business and retired."

From behind Bella and older woman speaks, "Well, of course, I didn't sell the business. I was in the back office buried under a pile of paper work. Come here girl. Give me hug. It's so good to see you again."

Bella jumps into her arms. "Charlotte! It's so good to see you too. How are you . . . and Peter?"

"Oh, we're both alive and kicking. Sit, sit." Mrs. Kelley eyes me, "Now my, oh my, who is this fine looking young man?"

Proudly, Bella takes my hand, "This fine looking you man is_ my_ fiancé Dr. Edward Cullen."

Always the gentleman, I stand to formally meet Mrs. Kelley. We chat about how we met and I remind her of the phone call I had made all those months ago in an attempt to locate Bella.

"I'm so sorry I stood in the way of true love but, for all I know, you could have been a stalker." She looks across the table, into our smiling eyes, "But from the looks on your faces, it appears everything worked out in the end, no harm, no foul." The waitress places our salad and pizza on the table. "I'll leave you kids to enjoy your dinner. When you're done please come by and say goodbye before you leave . . . and this is on me."

During dinner, Bella and I reminisce about our time in Dartmouth. We both admit we were brokenhearted believing we would never see each other again and, after saying goodbye to Charlotte and Peter, we reenacted our goodbye kiss in the exact spot we kissed each other last year. To make sure we got the kiss just right, we try it again walking back to our rental car and then once more in the rental car and, finally, all night long for good measure.

"So what are you going to do today while I'm at the conference? I really wish you would take advantage of your free time and just rest."

"I don't want to be stuck in the room all day. I think I'll just go out and wander the campus . . . maybe stop by the bookstore and pick up a Dartmouth hoodie for the baby. Wouldn't that be so adorable? Oh God, I _am_ turning into such a girl aren't I."

I crash my lips to hers, "I'm glad you're such a girl." My kiss leaves her breathless.

Panting, Bella tries to speak, "Um maybe I'll take some pictures. I haven't done that in such a long time, I'm out of practice and I promise Edward, I won't overdue. Maybe we could meet for your lunch break."

"That's a great idea. Lunch is usually fairly early at these things so don't wander too far off campus. I'll text you the time and place as soon as I know . . . and then you can come back to here and rest, doctor's orders."

Bella salutes as I kiss her goodbye and I smirk as she melts in my arms. "I wish you didn't have to leave. You know you could always do some medical research on me if you want," she winks.

An hour after leaving Bella breathless, I send her a text.

_**B-would you mind picking up a **_**new hoodie for me since u have officially taken ownership of what is supposed to be **_**our**_** hoodie – E xoxoxoxoxo 3**

_I'm going to buy three matching hoodies. Our first family outfit. Don't you think that's so adorable : ) I am such a girl – B xoxoxo 3 3_

_**Yes my love that is so adorable. Spend as much money as you want on our family. I'll meet you in front of the bookstore at 11:30 sharp my girly girl – E xoxoxo3 3 3**_

_**BPoV**_

Walking into the bookstore, goose bumps cover my body. I shudder at the thought of never had wandering into this store, I would never have met _my_ fiancé and I would not be carrying _our_ baby. I pat my little cub, "Hey baby, momma bear loves you so much. This is where it all started. This store is one of my favorite places in the world. Now, let's go shopping."

I take my time browsing up and down the souvenir isles making my way toward the hoodie section. I spot a tiny hooded green zippered sweatshirt. I hold it up examining just how adorable it is. Then my eyes catch sight of a green and white _my first Dartmouth t-shirt _and a white Dartmouth onesie. Looking around, I realize I'm standing smack dab in the center of the infant and toddler section. Funny, I hadn't notice this section of the store the first time I was here. I shrug my shoulders. Oh well, since I'm here, I might as well do a little shopping. So I grab a knit cap to go along with the other infant clothes. I know Edward won't be too upset that I'm spending his money for _our_ baby.

Satisfied with my baby selections, I head over to the adult section. I browse up and down notice a few new designs but search for the more traditional tried and true designs. I run my finger up and down the stack of hoodies in search for Edward's size. Perusing the hoodies, my ears are greeted with the sounds of one of my favorite songs flowing from the store's speaker. My eyebrows knit together. That's weird, I hadn't notice music player earlier but I love this song so I quietly sing along. I'm relieved no one else is around to hear my off key singing. "_When your legs don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep you off of your feet, Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love, Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks, And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70, And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23, And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, Maybe just the touch of a hand"_

Inexplicably, a cosmic electric shock travels down to my toes as _he_ takes my hand. My eyes close, trembling at the shockwave of his touch. Without looking, I know it is Edward. No one else in this world can make me feel what I feel when he touches me. But before I can say a word, he places a finger to my lips. Silently, Edward takes the baby clothes from my arm placing them on the counter. He wraps one arm around my waist; I run my free hand along his back . . . our joined hands positioned at his lips. Our eyes lock as we begin to sway to the music. I shiver in his arms as his warm breath whispers in my ear, _"Oh me I fall in love with you every single day, And I just wanna tell you I am, So honey now, Take me into your loving arms, Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars." _I melt in his arms.

At that exact moment, the store goes dark as white twinkling lights glow above our heads, _"place your head on my beating heart, I'm thinking out loud, Maybe we found love right where we are, When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades, And the crowds don't remember my name, When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm, I know you will still love me the same. 'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen, Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory, I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, Maybe it's all part of a plan, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes, Hoping that you'll understand, But baby now, Take me into your loving arms, Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars, Place your head on my beating heart,"_ My heart races nearly bursting with the love I feel for this man. I rest my head on his chest feeling Edward's beating heart, knowing he feels the same.

"_I'm thinking out loud, That maybe we found love right where we are, oh Ah la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la, So baby now, Take me into your loving arms, Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars, Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart, I'm thinking out loud, That maybe we found love right where we are, Oh maybe we found love right where we are, And we found love right where we are, When your legs don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep you off of your feet, Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love, Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks."_

When the song ends, Edward lifts my chin and our teary eyes meet. He wipes away my tears before cupping my face. "_That_, my sweet Bella, is _our_ song. I love you Bella Swan."

"I love you Edward Cullen."

Before realizing what is happening, Edward drops to one knee. Between two offering fingers, he presents an old fashion delicate filigree emerald green ring. The stone sparkle matches the sparkle of Edward's emerald green eyes. Embedded within the delicate filigree are scattered tiny diamonds that sparkle against the twinkling lights. "Bella Swan, I will love you forever. Will you please do me the great honor of being my wife and mother of my children?"

I am speechless; I can't speak. I have no words. My mind reels trying to find the perfect words I need to express what I am feeling at this very moment. Blinking, I break our connection as my tears fall. I nod a heartfelt yes. It's all I can do. Finally, my words return, "Edward Cullen, I will love you forever. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I will marry you. No get up here and kiss me Edward," I shout. Our kiss starts slow as we savor the simple pleasure of our connection. Little by little, Edward pulls me in tighter as the urgency of our kiss escalates . . . needing to be closer . . . needing to be one. Our kiss leaves us breathless. Forced to break our connection, Edward cups my face again placing feather like kisses to my lips, cheeks, the tip of my nose, eyes and back to one last whisper of a kiss to my lips. Each tender kiss sends tingles through my body. When he finishes our eyes lock reflecting the love and happiness we are feeling.

The lights go back on as the store's customers erupt in applause and whistles. We pull away and scan the shoppers applauding and whistling. I spy a few female shoppers discreetly wiping tears away.

Pulling me tightly against his chest, he worries, "Did I surprise you?"

"Did you surprise me? I can't believe this. This is the most romantic thing that has ever . . . I can't . . . I can't believe you did this. You are the most amazingly wonderful man Edward. But when did you plan all of this? Did Esme help you? Wait did everyone know about this but me?"

A smug pleased smile spreads across Edward's face. Proudly, he declares, "No. Nobody knew about this. I wanted this to be about _you_ and me . . . and no one else. I planned it _all_ alone. Mom and dad think we're at a medical conference. I had to trade some days with another resident so I'll be working a week and half straight but I don't care. That glorious look on your face . . . I'll remember it for as long as I live . . . that look was everything, working a few extra days was well worth it," he smiles wider. "I was so worried something was going to go horribly wrong. The way my plans have been going these days," he snorts, "but I thought it would be romantic to officially propose where we met. So . . . how did I do?"

"How did you do? How did you do?" I begin to cry again, "You did perfect. I love you so much. Thank you . . . thank you so much for this. I will remember this moment for the rest of my life too."

Edward's chest puffs out in pride, "Oh, um, I hope you don't mind that _we_ have a new song. I figure if we are going to have a song by a ginger it, at least, be from this century," he smirks.

"Esme is going to be so disappointed."

"Oh well, she has her ginger, _we_ have ours. Besides, this is about _us_ not my mother," he clears his throat. "So, Miss Swan, since you already agreed to marry me, wouldn't you like to see your ring?" He opens his palm and there sits the most exquisite ring I have ever seen. With the store lights shining on the ring, I see the simple beauty in the intricate detail of the filigree, the tiny diamonds sprinkled within the filigree and the embedded round emerald green stone in the center. Edward lifts the ring reading the engraved words, "_with love . . . forever . . . Bella and Edward._ And, I do mean forever._" _With a revered touch, he takes my left hand slipping the ring on my finger. He places a kiss to the ring sealing the deal.

I stretch my hand out examining the ring on my finger. I move my hand in various directions to examine it in different angles. Satisfied, Edward watches as I fawn over the ring. In a sudden realization, I stutter, "This is your Dartmouth ring."

Edward smiles and nods, "Yes, that is _our_ Dartmouth ring," he smirks, "with a few modifications of course. I designed it to represent both of us. The filigree is the traditional old fashion _me_ and the emerald is the colorful modern _you_. I hope you approve. I know a diamond is traditional for an engagement ring so if you,"

"Don't you dare think of making any changes to _my_ ring, it is perfect. You are perfect. Thank you," I cry leaping into his arms. "Thank you so much. I knew every day with you was going to be an adventure."

"Come on, let's get out of here and go celebrate." He gathers up the baby clothes.

"So, there's no medical conference?"

"No, no medical conference," he answers as he examines the baby clothes. "I like these. By the way, when we get home we need to look into opening a college fund . . . the sooner the better."

"You're so silly Edward . . . always planning."

Hand in hand, we head to the cashier to pay for our baby's clothes. As we walk, we are greeted with well wishes and congratulations. A few of the female customers ask to see my ring as they _oh_ and _ah_ as I tell them how lucky I am.

When it is our turn to pay Edward turns to me, "You got enough money this time Penny," he jokes.

"Ha, the jokes on you Sheldon, I'm using _your_ credit card. Bazinga!"

**EPoV**

For some reason, I'm nervous. Bella and I have made love over and over but this time it's different. I can't explain it. I want, no, I need to show her how much she means to me. I want to worship every inch of her. The door to the bathroom opens. Bella poses wearing nothing but our hoodie looking like an angel . . . and all my nervousness fades away.

She melts into my welcoming arms resting her head on my chest. We sway side to side as I hum _our_ song. "Your heart is beating so fast," she sighs.

"It beats for you . . . always only you." I lift her face to mine and kiss my fiancé. We make love all afternoon and into the night just as I had planned.

**A/N:** First and foremost, absolute no offense was meant when using the term ginger. Gingers are some of my favorite people in the world, Ed Sheeran and Rick Astley being top of the list. Oh yeah, the lyrics for "Thinking Out Loud" By Ed Sheeran and Amy Wadge. **A review or comment would be heaven.**


	48. Chapter 48 Be With You

**A/N: I'm so, so sorry for the long delay. This **_**was**_** supposed to be the last official chapter but it sort of took a life of its own. So I'm looking at a separate chapter for the wedding and honeymoon and then an epilogue. When I started this chapter I had an extremely difficult time thus the delay in posting. I want to send a special thank all who took the time to let me know their thoughts after each chapter. You touched my heart. Thank you! And, a very special thank you to savannavansmutsmut for her kind words of encouragement that help push me through to finish the last chapter. **

**Lastly, I want to ask every one of you that reads these last few chapters to please leave a review or comment. It would mean the world to me. I feel like I have been in the dark as far as what the reader's reactions and thoughts. Pretty, pretty please. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR anything connected to the Big Bang Theory but I do love Sheldon Cooper. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 48 "Be With You"**

**EPoV**

In a blink of an eye I'm jump out of bed stark naked nearly tripping over our scatter discarded clothes, "Babe, hurry, we overslept!" Past out drunk from a night of celebratory sex, I try to nudge her awake. "We're going to miss our plane if we don't leave like five minutes ago." I shake her shoulder finally getting a response.

Stretching arms and legs escape from under the blankets as she moans a groggy, "good morning my gorgeous fiancé." Looking in the direction of the alarm clock on the nightstand, she blinks a few times to focus; her eyes pop open. "Oh shit, _Edward_, we're going to miss our plane. We overslept! I can't believe we over slept." Bella's voice raises a few octaves in alarm until her hand flies over her mouth. Her eyes target the bathroom door as she darts up making it to the toilet just in time to empty her contents.

Despite our lateness, I follow Bella to the bathroom. As usual, she pushes me away and, only because of our lateness, this time I retreat back to the bedroom. Chaotically, I throw our clothes into our carryon luggage. I hear the shower running. "I'm jumping in with you but, believe me, we have absolutely no time for shower sex this morning so keep your hands to yourself," I tease as I step under the warm running water.

Bella shrugs her shoulders, "Your loss sailor," she winks as her fingers accidently intentionally ghost over my hardening cock immediately making me want to retract my earlier warning about no shower sex.

Averting my eyes from my temptation, I quickly wash as I scold, "You do realize this is _your_ fault . . . you do know that don't you?" I emphasize. "If _you_ hadn't kept me up all night," I send my sexy wet Bella a devilish grin and wink, "we wouldn't be about to miss our flight. . . . _you_ and your raging pregnancy sex hormones."

Bella stops washing and looks up into my scolding eyes, her lower lips pouts as her eyelids flutter up and down. "I'm sorry doctor. Maybe you should spank me for being a bad, bad girl."

Dumbfounded, I nearly drop my soap, my mouth hangs open and my eyes are the size of saucers.

With the tip of her finger, Bella closes my mouth. She lets out a wicked laugh, "Don't worry doc, I was only teasing." She tiptoes placing a kiss to the tip of my nose and then a tap with her finger. "Come on, we're late," sending me a wink over her shoulder. Exiting the shower, she wraps a towel around her dripping wet body.

"_Mmmmm wet body,"_ I moan like Homer Simpson drooling over a donut.

Remembering them wrapped around my waist last night, I ogle her long shapely legs that disappear into the towel scarcely covering her mouth watery ass. I definitely wish I could retract my previous words. I bang my head against the shower tile a few times to clear my head.

Breathless, I call out, "Hurry . . . hurry, that's us," upon hearing our names over the loudspeaker for a final boarding call. We make a mad dash toward the boarding gate. Out of breath, we plop down on our seats buckling in just as the airplane doors are about to close. "I can't believe we made it . . . barely, but we made it." I look over at Bella who has a silly grin on her face, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "What's so funny?"

"I just knew life with you would be an adventure. That taxi ride was scary as hell fun. I'm so glad you're my fiancé." She unbuckles her belt, leans over and places a feather light kiss to my lip. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too and I'm glad you're my gorgeous fiancée now buckle up."

Once safe to use personal electronics, I turn on my phone setting it to airplane mode. As I wait for the screen to fill with apps, I glance over at my Bella who swears she is not sleeping but just resting her eyes. Shaking my head I draw my attention back to my phone scanning through my pictures and creating a new photo album. I murmur into Bella's ear, "Are you still resting your eyes?" 

She groans, "I said I'm not sleeping; I'm resting my eyes."

Reverently, I place my hand on her slight baby bump. "How are you feeling? No queasiness or nausea?"

"No, I'm good now, thank you." She answers as she continues to rest her eyes. She places her left hand on mine and begins to playing with her engagement ring.

"Well when you're done _resting your eyes_ I have a surprise for you."

Her eyes pop open. "Edward, _that_ proposal," she sighs, "and my ring is more than enough. I don't need anything else . . . but whatcha get me," she playful laughs.

I hand her my cellphone. Curiously, she looks at the phone's screen as the wrinkles of her questioning face relax. I watch as she intently studies each picture. She enlarges the screen letting out an '_oh_ or _ah.'_ Every so often, she glances up at me and, with each new slide, her eyes fill with happy tears. She blinks a few times causing her tears to cascade down her cheeks. After going through the pictures several more times, Bella returns my phone resting her head and hand on my chest. "I love your kind heart," she inhales deeply, "I'm so lucky I have you in my life. Thank you for the pictures, they're perfect."

"I know how much you love to take pictures of your adventures so I arranged for the manager to take some pictures of us. I think he did an excellent job considering it was a bit dark once the twinkle lights went on." I wrap in my arms pulling her as close to me as possible. She snuggles deeper into my chest.

"I love them. When we get home I'm going to create _our_ first family album with these. Thank you, they're beautiful and doesn't my fiancé look absolutely handsome," she breathes. "Thank goodness you had the foresight to have some pictures taken because _we both know_ that when grandma bear hears about this she is going to be _none too happy. _ She is going to be one angry grizzle bear," Bella snorts. "I'm so glad I'm pregnant because I know she won't hurt me . . . but you . . . _you_, on the other hand, better watch your back baby boy."

I squeeze my fiancée, "You'll protect me wont' you?" I feign fright.

"I'll protect you forever my love," pulling me closer to her and pausing, ". . . um, Edward, since you put a ring on it, when do you want to tell everyone we're _officially_ officially engaged and getting married?

"Well, since I'd like to be married to you as soon as possible, I think we should tell everyone as soon as we get home. I'll give everyone a call inviting them for lunch tomorrow. We'll make the official announcement then," I pause momentarily, "Until tomorrow, let's keep it to ourselves okay . . . just you and me."

"Just you and me . . . I like that," she hums playing with her ring.

I interrupt our comfortable silence, "So um what kind of wedding would you like? We really haven't had a chance to talk much about the actual wedding ceremony."

Bella lets out a deep frustrated sigh, "In all honesty, I haven't given it much thought. I mean I _do_ want to marry you but, as far as the ceremony, I have no idea. I never really thought about ever getting married . . . or having a baby for that matter," she snorts.

I lift Bella's chin so she looks deep into my eyes, "I'm serious Bella. I want to get married ASAP but with my schedule at the hospital . . . I'm not sure how involved I'll be in the actual planning _but_ the sooner the better, okay," I declare in all sincerity.

"Okay," she nods, "the sooner the better sounds good to me too. I'm sure I won't have any trouble trying to persuade Esme and Alice to help me plan this shindig," she lets out a small yawn. "Now let's get some sleep. I didn't get much sleep last night." Covering her mouth, she lets out a louder yawn.

I follow her yawn with my own loud yawn as I drop my head atop hers shutting my eyes but my thoughts of our upcoming wedding collide.

Mumbling into Bella's hair, "You do know that once we tell everyone, I mean _officially_, Esme and Alice _aren't_ going to help you _they're_ going to take over this wedding don't you?"

She nods her head in acknowledgement. "Honestly, I have just a couple of stipulations that I will insist upon . . . one being my father's attendance and comfort during the ceremony. He has to be there . . . and I have final approval on the dress . . . other than that, they can have free reign."

"You don't know what you're saying," I yawn again, ". . . giving my mother and Alice free reign Bella. I'm warning you things might get ugly." The tone of my voice turns serious with another unsettling thought, "Bella, what about your mother. I know the two of you don't have the best of relationship but she _is_ your mother after all. Don't you think you should invite her?" I feel her body slightly stiffen at my words.

Quietly, Bella contemplates my question. She takes a deep breath as she appears to steady her words, "Edward, I don'_t_ _hate_ my mother," she laments, "I just don't understand her. I just don't but . . . but I'll invite her if you want me to . . . I just don't want to be disappointed if she forgets or something else more exciting than attend her only daughter's wedding catches her attention. I know I don't talk about her much but . . ." Bella's voice fades as she grabs on to my shirt, "I just don't want to be disappointed on the most important day of our lives . . . I won't let her do that to me, I just won't."

I comfort Bella snuggling her deep against my chest kissing her hair once more, "I promise I will never disappoint you. You'll never feel _that_ ever again. I promise you my love."

_**BPoV**_

Exhausted from our whirlwind engagement adventure, _one of many adventures to come_, Edward and I trudge up the front stairs. The entire flight home I thought of nothing but the idea of the dreaded call to my mom _but_ Edward's right. For the rest of my life, I would feel guilty if I didn't at least make an effort to invite her to my _one_ _and only_ wedding. So, that is exactly what I'm going to do as soon as I get home . . . and that is that.

"I have to be at the hospital later tonight. I hope you don't mind if I jump in the shower and catch a few winks. I'd like to go in early to review some of my cases too."

"Don't be silly Edward, of course, I don't mind. Besides, I want to go visit the chief . . . you'll have the bed all to yourself."

I lean into Edward's side rubbing his back with my free hand. "Have a good rest my _official_ fiancé. I'll unpack the bags later." I take his carryon before placing a feather light kiss to his lips. "You make me so happy . . . thank you for everything, your proposal . . . it was perfect . . . I'll always treasure that moment for as long as I live . . . I'll love you forever Edward. I promise." I give him one final feather light kiss before ordering my fiancé to bed.

Hearing voices float from the family room, Edward lazily calls out, "We're home," before continuing his trudge up the stairs.

Leaning the luggage against the wall, I follow the sound of the high pitched battling voices. Mesmerized by an image on the laptop screen, Esme and Alice continue to argue back and forth oblivious to the fact that I'm even in the room. Remembering my ring, I take the opportunity to conceal it by turning it around and stuffing my hands into my pockets. They won't get a glimpse of the rock before tomorrow's lunch. "Well this is a fine how-do-you-do," I sing. "I come home expecting a warm welcome and instead walk into world war three. What the heck are the two of you arguing about and . . . what is so fascinating on . . ." I walk around the table to see what has them so captivated just as Esme snaps the laptop shut and Alice clams up. _Okay, that's odd._

Esme leaps off her chair practically knocking a wide-eyed Alice to the floor. "Oh sweetie, you scared me. I didn't hear you come in . . . where's Edward?" Her eyes dart about the room, ". . . how was the conference? . . . Did you have fun?" She looks and sounds like a kid who just got caught looking at a porn magazine under the blankets.

I spy them suspiciously through narrowed eyes. "The two of you are up to something. Oh my gosh! Did you download porn?" I whisper. "Move over, I want to see too."

Esme scrambles for the laptop yanking it close to her chest. "No . . . no, of course not, we didn't download porn you silly girl." She attempts to calm her voice, "you just surprised me . . . me, um, I . . . we didn't hear you come in that's all."

"Yeah, we didn't hear you come in . . . that's all," Alice parrots.

I spy them conspicuously, "I don't believe you . . . either one of you." I wave a pointed finger back and forth between the two liars.

Before I know what's happening, Alice shrieks an earth shattering shriek, leaps to her feet and grabs my hand. She twists it palm up, pulls my finger open and shouts, "Is that an engagement ring?" Lightening quick, Esme's at Alice's side holding onto my wrist too.

"I . . . I . . . I," resigned, I groan, "Yes, it's an engagement ring." I find the strength to pull out of their clutches, turn my hand and ring around to put it on full proper display. Radiantly, I smile down at my ring as I take in their admiring smiles; Esme and Alice eyes well with tears as they gush over the ring. "Edward proposed," I state as I glance at Esme but her guilty eyes don't meet mine. "We were going to announce it tomorrow but, as usual, poor Edward's plans are shot to hell."

Suddenly, I'm dragged onto the sofa jailed on both sides by the two gushing women. "So tells us how he proposed," Alice demands, "and don't skimp on the details. I want to hear _all_ about it."

I extended my ring hand out tilting my head to the side admiring my ring before speaking. Knowing they aren't going to release me until they've heard every last wonderfully perfect detail, I recount our entire trip from start to finish leaving out our celebratory sex-fest that caused us to almost miss our flight. When I finish regaling every last romantic detail of Edward's proposal, I end reiterating how disappointed Edward is going to be, once again, that his plans didn't work.

"My baby boy done good," weeps Esme, "_that_ is the most romantic proposal I have ever heard."

"Yeah, it was kinda perfect," I grin in agreement as a slight blush spreads across my cheeks.

Alice nods her head as she wipes away the remnants of few tears away, "Jasper has his work cut out for him if he plans to top that proposal."

"Oh and, by the way, Edward and I have a new song . . . sorry about that grandma bear . . . ah, I almost forgot I have pictures," I remember, "I'll be right back." I climb two steps at a time pausing at the doorway, peeking into the bedroom. Edward is sound asleep so I tiptoe in and grab his cell phone. I run my fingers through his damp hair place a soft sweet kiss to his cheek and whisper an 'I love you' before bouncing down the stairs. I open my carryon grabbing the bag of Dartmouth baby clothes.

As Esme and Alice peruse the pictures and gush over the Dartmouth baby clothes, I nonchalantly lift the laptop screen gasping at the website on the screen. My gasp pulls Esme out of her revelry.

Guiltily, she cries out, "She forced it out of me . . . I'm so sorry sweetie. I know I promised but I was weak . . . it was . . . it was the menopause . . . I was hormonal," she cries. "She forced it out of me."

"Oh no you don't, don't even try to use the 'I was hormonal' defense on me woman. You promised to keep our engagement a secret until Edward announced it, you promised me. I only confided in you because you were so sad about the pregnancy thing."

"Oh Bella, please don't be angry with mom. I sorta snuck up on her while she was looking at a something on her laptop. Curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know why she was browsing a wedding website . . . and, well, I did force it out of her. To be quite honest, she put up quite a good fight but I was relentless . . . please don't be too upset." Alice takes the laptop from me, "Look, _we_ have found some amazing things to show you." She opens a folder titled 'Bella and Edward's Wedding' and begins to explain in great detail each picture and every picture.

A remorseful Esme finally speaks. "I did find some wonderful things for you and my baby boy. I want your wedding to be perfect."

I listen but don't speak as I examine the pictures. _I'm not really angry with Esme. After all, I did tell Edward that these two hooligans could have full reign on the planning of our wedding . . . with a few minor stipulations that is. I know it is evil making her think I'm angry with her but she deserves to stew in her own juices just a little for giving our secret away. _My eyes well, _these damn pregnancy hormones_, as I hug Esme. "Oh mom, these are beautiful, simply beautiful," I cry realizing I just called her 'mom.'

Esme doesn't say a word but returns my hug. "Enough of this crying nonsense, we've got important work to do."

I inform Esme and Alice and, now, Rosalie they have full control over the wedding plans which launches a full on scream fest but I do stress they are to adhere to my strict stipulations and simple elegance or they are fired. And, with that, I leave them to visit my dad.

Later that night, alone in my room, I pull on my big girl panties and call Renee. Nervously, my heart pounds like a kid being called into the principal's office for doing something wrong. When she answers the phone I rip the band aid off. _Ouch._ I tell her about the wedding and the baby and am not surprised by the sound of disappointment in her voice. I then tell her about Charlie and his current condition. I'm surprised when I hear a few sincere sobs. "I've got to go but I'll call you with the exact date as soon as possible. Bye Renee." I hit end and take a deep breath. It's up to her now.

**EPoV**

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of wedding activity for Bella but she has kept to her word not once complaining. Mom, Alice and Rosalie have been bombarding her with wedding plans and caterers and menus and silly swatches and color scheme and flowers and cake. Well, she did admit to enjoying the cake tasting trip. She had even managed to sweet talk the baker into giving her a few extra slices to take home to _her fiancé _to taste. "I didn't realize simple elegance was so much work," Bella quietly laughs.

Where Bella has given mom, Alice and Rosalie free reign on the wedding, _I_ have given them honeymoon instructions that must be strictly followed. We only have two days for our honeymoon and I want it to be perfect for her despite her protests and reassurances.

"Edward, I don't need a honeymoon. Once you have vacation time from the hospital and the baby is born, we can go anywhere you want. I'm sure grandma bear wouldn't mind babysitting. Besides, as long as we're married and I'm Mrs. Edward Cullen, wife of the utterly gorgeous highly regarded neurosurgeon Dr. Edward Cullen, I'll be happy. So, please stop worrying about it." She leans up on one elbow and looks into my sleepy eyes confused, "Wait, so is my new name going to be Mrs. Cullen or Dr. Mrs. Cullen," Bella teases. "I never could get that straight," she laughs as she snuggles back into my arms.

Each morning, Bella waits for me in our tiny bed. I lay my head on her chest snuggling into her warm welcoming arms. In hushed voices, we talk about her day and my night, the wedding plans, her father's progress and _our_ baby, always our baby as she smoothes away my sore tired muscles. Sometimes Bella reads a chapter or two from my mommy porn book as I nod off to sleep. We take one day at a time; we're in no hurry, no need for unnecessary planning. Things will get done when they get done. That is my new mantra thanks to my beautiful Bella.

"We've got all the time in the world . . . we are going to be together forever so one day at a time . . . no hurries, no worries. Everything will work out fine. Dad's improving day by day and this little baby bear is perfect so all is well with the world," she reassures me as she weaves her fingers into my hair massaging deep into my scalp. My body shivers unable to keep my eyes open when she does this to me.

And, some mornings, there are no words only soft desperate demanding kisses and smooth dancing tongues and electric touches and tangled limbs and unbreakable looks and silent cries of pleasure and beating hearts and breathless gasps and love, always love.

Once I'm sound asleep, Bella climbs out of our bed and, even in my sleep, my body misses her absence. She leaves for her daily visit with her father but always returns to me in the late afternoon. When I awake she is once again wrapped in my arms. I love waking up with her in my arms. She says now that the morning sickness is ending she has to have a nap in the afternoon and what better way to nap than to sleep in the arms of her handsome fiancé. I don't mind one single bit.

I love being a doctor; I can't see myself ever doing anything else but I can't wait until my night rotation is over.

One of the other residents pulls me out of my reverie informing me that I'm wanted in the senior resident's office. Walking down the hall, I'm curious as to why the senior resident has called me into her office.

I knock on the door to get her attention, "You wanted to see me?"

Without looking up, she nods, "I understand you're getting married tomorrow."

"Um, yes, I am," is all I can say unsure where she's going with this.

"Well then, I suggest you take off now."

"Are you serious?"

"Hurry up and get out of here before I change my mind," she scowls.

"Thank you, I appreciate it . . ."

"Get out now," she huffs as she angrily types something on her laptop.

I look in on one last patient before taking off for the day. As tradition calls, I've been banished to my apartment until the wedding by the Cullen women. Bella pouts but mom has her on a technicality. The banishment wasn't part of Bella's stipulations so it's to my apartment for me. I don't complain too much because I am nothing but a traditional guy. Jasper is more than surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here? I never thought I'd see you again man," he jokes.

Before I finish telling my story, Jasper interrupts me with a brilliant idea. "You can't get married without a bachelor party. How about you give a couple of your friends a call . . . pizza, beer and poker . . . nothing too crazy? I'll go make a beer run and order the pizza."

I hadn't given much thought about a bachelor party; with work and everything else going on, I didn't have the time but a party did sound like fun. "Sure why not but not too late okay. I don't want to be hung over on wedding day."

Jasper is out the door as I call Emmett, Garrett, Ben, and a few of the guys for a last minute bachelor party. I call Bella; I need to hear her voice.

"Hello, the future Dr. Mrs. Edward Cullen baby momma speaking," she answers.

She's so adorable. I love her so much. "Well hello there the future Dr. Mrs. Edward Cullen _my_ baby momma. What are you up to this fine evening," I sing.

"Grrrr, you're so lucky you're at the hospital right now. I'm exhausted. It has been nonstop wedding madness. There have been people traipsing in and out of the house and backyard with tons of lighting and satin and chairs and tables," she stops for a breath of air. "I thought the bride was supposed to be the bridezilla but, seriously, your mom and Alice have those brides on television beat by a mile . . . maybe even two miles," she yells. "They're scary Edward, really scary. Save me."

I snort, "I hate to say 'I told you so' but . . ."

"Yeah, yeah you're a genius," she drones as I hear mom and Alice yelling as to why Bella was wasting time talking on the phone. "I gotta go Edward," she panics in a whisper, "before they don't let me be the bride tomorrow. I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"Wait, wait Bella." I shout, "I called to _one_ tell you I love you, _two_ I miss you and _three_, Jasper is throwing me an impromptu bachelor party later."

"What do you mean later? Aren't you at the hospital right now?"

"No, I'm at my apartment. Long story short, my senior resident let me off early and sent me home. Jasper didn't want me to miss out on a bachelor party so . . ."

Bella cries, "Is there going to be sexy naked strippers at this bachelor party."

"Oh baby, don't cry. I can't take it when you cry and, no, there are _not_ going to be strippers at said bachelor party. Just some of the guys, pizza, beer and poker . . . maybe some porn, Emmett's coming, enough said . . . that's it, I promise."

"You promise no strippers," she pouts.

"You know the only woman I ever need to see naked is my radiantly beautiful soon to be wife that I promise to love forever."

"Oh, Edward I love you too," she sighs. "Now go and enjoy your last night of freedom. After tomorrow, you are mine."

"And, you are mine forever."

**A/N: Once again, sorry for the long delay. This chapter sets up the wedding and honeymoon. I'm begging if you read this chapter please let me know what you think. Without some type of comment, I feel like I'm going through this in the dark. **


	49. Chapter 49 Never Gonna Give You Up p1

**A/N: Well, we've come full circle. We began with a young married couple with their baby and end with a young married couple and a baby such is life. Although this is Edward's story, the first part of the chapter begins with Bella because, as we all know, a wedding is all about the bride. I promised this was to be the final chapter BUT weddings are way more work than I thought and Bella is taking forever to get ready so I'm splitting it into BPoV and next chapter will be EPoV.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR Ed Sheeran's "Think Out Loud" songs. Also, I don't own Frozen although there is a slight reference to Princess Ana. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 49 "Never Gonna Give You Up" Part I**

_**BPoV**_

"I don't understand why Edward gets to sleep late on _his_ wedding day and _I_ have to be up at the crack of dawn." I peek out from under my warm cozy blankets and in the direction of my bedroom window; there is no sign of light seeping through said window, therefore, it must still be night time. 'I'm going back to sleep' I tell myself knowing full well that's not going to happen with bridezilla one and bridezilla two in charge of this shindig. "It's not even the crack of dawn, it's still night time," I croak, "can't I sleep a few more hours . . . look," my hand slides out from under the blankets in direction of the dark window, "it's still dark outside," I whine pulling my blankets back over my head hoping bridezilla two is simply an unwelcome nightmare but, unfortunately, not a nightmare but scary all the same.

Alice tugs at my blankets and orders me out of bed. She stomps her furry cover foot to emphasize her point. "Bella, we have tables outsides waiting to be decorated . . . wedding gift bags that still need to be assembled . . . and then we'll need at least a good four to five hours to get you picture perfect for Edward. So get your ass out of that bed right this instant or else," she demands.

"Or else what," I call her bluff.

"Or else, I'm going back downstairs and tell grandma bear - who just happened to get up extra early this morning to slave over a hot stove to make _you_ a special wedding day breakfast – that you're _too_ sleepy to get up and eat your favorite breakfast of extra thick and crispy brown sugar coated bacon strips and a pile of scrumptious cinnamon roll pancakes drizzled with icing _and_ decaf coffee with hazelnut creamer. After all, _she_ hasn't done much for you but call in a few _thousand_ favors so she could put this _perfectly simple yet elegant wedding_ together in just two short weeks for _you_ and her baby boy . . . but I'll just go back downstairs now . . . you go ahead and have a few more hours of sleep," sarcasm seeps from her voice.

Damn that Alice. I think I hate her. She's got me and she knows it . . . check mate. Guilt, I feel so much guilt right now . . . and my lousy stomach takes this exact moment to betray me with two loud growls hearing the words cinnamon roll pancakes and crispy bacon. I hear Alice snicker. In one quick motion, I throw my blankets off grumbling, "You do understand I hate you don't you."

"No you don't," she sings in triumph as I make my way to the bathroom as I slip on _my_ fury slippers.

While grandma bear plates my wedding breakfast, I nearly fall back to sleep. Feeling like Princess Ana on the morning of coronation day, I nod off balancing my head on my shoulders to keep if from banging on the kitchen table.

"Look at you," Alice growls. "What time did you go to sleep last night? I thought I told you get a good night sleep. How am I supposed to work my magic when you can't even keep your eyes open?"

With my eyes sealed shut, I croak, "I couldn't sleep last night. I missed Edward . . . he keeps me warm and cozy." I yawn as Alice huffs in aggitation. "I don't see why he had to go back to his apartment." I whine just as Esme sets my plate in front of me. The delightful aroma of decaf coffee and cinnamon roll pancakes assault my sleepy senses. Peeking down at my plate, I am finally wide awake as I dig in to the pile of icy pancakes. "Thanks grandma bear."

"Don't swallow your food whole Bella," admonishes Esme. "I don't want you sick to your stomach on your wedding day."

"Have I told you how much I love you right now grandma bear," I say with a mouth full of cinnamon roll pancakes. "Delicious . . . so worth getting up for in the middle of the night."

"Of for goodness sake, you did _not_ get up in the middle of the night. It's nearly six," Alice mumbles into her coffee cup. I bat my eyes at her and she sticks her tongue out at me in retaliation as she attempts to swipe a piece of bacon off my plate. I swat her hand away as the bacon drops back on my plate. "This is _my_ wedding day breakfast . . . hands off."

"Very grown up Bella," Alice chastises with a grin.

Alice and I both stop our banter hearing Esme weeping.

"Mom"

"Grandma Bear" we cry in unison. "What's wrong?"

She wipes a few tears away with a napkin. "Oh, don't mind me. I'm just being a silly old woman . . . hormones I guess but I loving seeing _my_ girls acting like _real_ sisters. I'm just so happy. Now, Bella finishing eating or you're going to be late for your own wedding."

"I can't be late to my own wedding . . . it can't start without me," I snort as bridezilla two growls again.

After breakfast, Alice leads me to the backyard where wedding preparations are in full swing. Carlisle is instructing some of the workers where to set up tables and chairs. Alice explains how the table settings _must be_ arranged. _Bridezilla is in full force. _ I salute as we start on the first table. We work in perfect unison setting table after table. We're in our zone finishing just minutes after the last table is positioned in place. We stop to admire our work. "It _is_ beautiful . . . simple elegance. Thank you Alice, I'm sorry I doubted your mad skills."

"It is perfect," Alice sighs, "just perfect."

"Oh, I'll be right back," I call out as I run back into the house. Returning with my camera, I snap a few photos to document the before and after results. I take a few candid shots of grandpa bear shouting orders and Alice as she admires her work.

"Delete those pictures of me right now woman! My hair's a mess . . . I don't even have on any makeup. Come on," she huffs, "wedding gift bags next."

We waved a quick goodbye to Carlisle heading back into the house. "Don't forget to delete those pictures Bella. I mean it," Alice warns.

While Alice and I work outside, Esme sets up an assembly line of wedding favors to be packaged in glossy off white bags. In an elegant emerald green metallic embossed ink, one side of the bag reads _Bella and Edward _in an Edwardian script while the other side reads_ . . . forever _and _now_ I want to cry. Esme instructs us to start at this end and work our way down the line where she will tie an emerald green satin ribbon around each of the bags. She demonstrates packaging one bag as Alice and I follow closely behind.

We work like a well-oiled machine placing white and emerald green tissue paper inside the bag followed by an upside down Mason jar tied with another emerald green ribbon in the center of the bag. The jar houses a spring flower decorated cupcake that looks like a miniature of our wedding cake. Along with the cupcake, we bag a hotel door sign that reads 'Please do not disturb! I partied all night at the wedding of Bella & Edward,' a small bottle of bubbles, a Dartmouth keychain, small bag of pastel colored mints, a ring pop, and a music gift card to download "Think Out Loud" and "Never Gonna Give You Up."

"These are adorable . . . I want one," I pout as I snap a picture of a completed bag.

Esme smiles with satisfaction as she explains the significance of each item. "Well, obviously, who doesn't like a cupcake . . . the door sign is to remind your guest the good time they had celebrating your wedding . . . the bubbles are eco-friendly . . . the Dartmouth key represents where you and my baby boy met . . . the mints match the color of Alice and Rosalie's lavender, peach and green bouquets . . . the ring pop symbolizes your ring and, last but not least, the music card is to download the song you and Edward will first dance to as man and wife."

"But what about the other song," I ask.

"Oh silly Bella, who wouldn't want to download 'Never Gonna Give You Up'," looking confused at my obviously ridiculous question.

Alice and I smirk rolling our eyes. I snap a few pictures of Esme as she ties the last bag. I survey the bags, "I'm serious; I want a bag as a keepsake especially now that I know what each gift means. Please grandma bear." I bat my eyes at her victorious as a wedding bag balances on the tip of her finger.

"Good thing we made a few extras," she drones.

"Thanks!"

"Looks like you ladies have everything under control here. The back yard is all set up. I'm going to jump in the shower then I'm off to Edward's. We'll probably grab and early lunch before we head over to the rehab center to get your dad ready Bella," Carlisle looks in my direction. "Edward said Billy and Jacob Black are going to meet us at the center and follow us back here."

I give Carlisle a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much for inviting Billy and Jacob and setting them up at a hotel near the center. I know it will mean so much to dad having his friends here for a few days visit . . . the chief despises being the center of attention . . . and given his condition, well, I just don't want him to feel uncomfortable. Having Billy and Jacob here with him . . . it's going to mean the world to him. Thank you so, so much." I give him one more kiss for good measure.

Esme calls out, "Remember, keep Edward away from Bella until the wedding ceremony. Lock him in our room if you have to but keep him away."

I pout folding my arms in front of me.

With a smirk, Esme lectures, "Bella, Edward is nothing but traditional. Tradition states you don't see the bride before the ceremony therefore, you will not see Edward until then. We are sticking to tradition."

As Carlisle exits, Rosalie enters with an oversized carrying case filled to the brim with scary looking torture devices. "I've got everything we need to turn Bella into a wedding day masterpiece. Let's get working." She checks her watch, "we've got four hours and twelve minute . . . ohhhh, and I picked up the most amazing nail polish colors. My Emmie loves," she accents the word loves, "when I wear nail polish. He says it's hot," she giggles.

Alice and I roll our eyes and fake gag as Rosalie sighs dreamily talking about her Emmie.

I shower using my freeshia, strawberry and wisteria toiletries, my fiancé's favorite scents. I cringe as Alice shouts through the door to make sure I shave. Shivering, I ignore her. After a quick shower, the torture begins.

Returning to my bedroom, I see that is has now been turned into a red room of pain. The girls are loud with excitement as they sing along to some pop song sugar coating the air. In the background, Esme complains why she can't listen to Rick Astley.

Alice drags me into the room. "Finally, now let's get started . . . and remember," she points her finger at me, "no complaining. We are in charge of the shindig you're just the bride," she laughs aloud.

"I promise no more complaining."

Alice and Rosalie's excitement is infectious and, before long, I join in the wedding fun.

Esme does my nails and toenails. Rosalie bought me a new spring color nail polish called Sheer White and something called Electric Lilac on the tips.

"The electric lilac symbolizes the first time Edward saw you and your crazy purple hair."

"Hey, I resent that. Edward loved my crazy purple hair," I retort.

"Thus the electric lilac tips," smiles Rosalie.

_Okay, that is sweet. Rosalie knows her stuff. _

We take turns doing each other's nails as Rosalie begins to set and style my hair. Esme selects a nail polish called Subdued Sage while Alice and Rosalie agree to wear something called Stunning Silver to complement their dresses. They begin to sip champagne causing them to laugh a bit louder. I smirk at their silliness a bit jealous I can't have a drink too. We take turns telling dirty jokes and laughing hysterically.

_She is definitely one smart cookie. All the colors perfectly match our dresses. _

As the girls start on their hair, I surprise them with a simple double strand crystal comb. "I want us to have at least one thing that matches."

I had insisted that Alice and Rosalie not have traditional matching bridesmaid dresses. I wanted their dresses to represent their own unique style but still adhere to my stipulations. So, one afternoon, we trekked our way down to Pioneer Square visiting some of the retro dress shops to find our perfect dresses.

"_So this is what I'm thinking. I want a retro 1950s vibe but not Marilyn Monroe . . . more like Grace Kelly . . . remember, I want simple but elegant."_

_After a long tiring day of dress shopping, Rosalie finally decides on a goddess draped emerald green silk chiffon cocktail party dress. The form fitting bodice and skirt accentuates her long lean voluptuous body. "Do you mind that it's more a cocktail dress than a bridesmaid dress," Rosalie worried. _

"_Not at all Rosalie it's perfect . . . and perfect on you. Buy it," I wink. "Emmet won't be able to keep his hands off of you when he sees you in this get up." That seals the deal as she heads to the cashier._

_Alice finds a sleeveless emerald green silk chiffon and taffeta cocktail dress with a plunging v-neckline and back, very Audrey Hepburn. The wide waistband compliments her tiny waist. "I love the feel of the petticoats under this skirt. I feel like a princess," she laughs as she twirls around in the store. "But I'm going to have to get it shortened just a bit. Sometimes it sucks being short." _

_The next day I go alone to buy my wedding dress and shoes. Researching several websites beforehand, I know exactly what I want and I'm on a mission. I won't stop until I find it._

Alice slips on her shoes and, as she looks up at me, I instantly know I was right. She looks just like Audrey Hepburn. Her hair is pulled back in a stunningly sleek dramatic French twist held up by her crystal comb. She is wearing simple make up accentuating her lips.

I tear up, "Oh Alice, you look absolutely stunning."

"Thank you Bella but no crying. You're ruining my masterpiece," she scolds as she dabs away my tears.

The left side of Rosalie's hair is pinned back with her comb as the right side nearly covers her face with long loose side curls. She flings her hair over her shoulder then back again. "I can't decide whether to leave my hair behind my shoulder over draped across the front."

"Either way, you look absolutely gorgeous Rosie," Esme calls out, "but hurry and decide because the men just arrived."

The butterflies in my stomach flutter knowing my fiancé is here. I glance at the clock, "Oh my goodness, look at the time. I can't believe it took us over four hours to get ready. Good thing I'm only getting married once 'cause I'll never go through this again as long as I live," I huff as Alice finishes the last button on my dress. "_Now_, can I look in the mirror?"

"Not quite yet but I promise soon." To distract me, Alice dangles my camera in front of me. "How about taking a few pictures of Rosalie and me and mom because, although you do look stunningly beautiful . . . simple elegance just like you requested, I must say we look a-maz-ing."

"We sure do sister," Rosalie concurs, "amen to that."

"Hey, what about me," Esme whines as we burst into laughter.

I take a few group pictures and then individual shots of each of my bridesmaids and my very soon to be mother-in-law as they pose like 1950's Vogue models.

In the middle of our merriment, I suddenly feel a small tinge of melancholy knowing my own mother missed seeing me get ready for my wedding, knowing she couldn't take the time _or_ wouldn't take the time to be here for me on one of the most important days of my life. And, at that exact moment in time, I know Esme _is_ and always will be my one and only true mother.

I set my camera on the bed, "Do you mind if I speak to Esme for a moment, alone," my voice suddenly sullen and sad.

Hearing the change in my voice all the playfulness gone, they quietly leave.

"I'll go get the bouquets," whispers Rosalie.

Wordlessly, I sit on the edge of the bed extending my hand to a worried Esme. She takes my hand in hers, as any worried mother would, but doesn't speak a word.

Looking into her emerald green eyes, I find my weak voice, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you, that's all . . . and, if it's all right with you . . . I mean if you don't mind, I'd like to call you mom," I pause trying to steady my voice, "you have shown me the unconditional love of a true and loving mother . . . thank you for loving me even when I didn't deserve it. I love you Esme."

Esme is silent as her eyes well with tears her body slightly trembling with emotion. "I love you too _my_ baby girl and I would be proud if you called me mom," she weeps. Wiping a few of her tears away, she adds, "and, no matter what, _she_ will always be your mother. Right now, I think," she shakes her head, "I think she is just a sad lost soul but, someday, someday I pray that she will find her way back to you. And, if that day even comes, _you will_ welcome her back with open arms because you have a loving heart."

"I tried not to let myself _hope_ she'd be here today that way I wouldn't be hurt when she didn't show up."

"I know you did. I've seen it in your eyes." Esme wraps her arm around my shoulder pulling me close to her. "I'm here for you kid. This is a happy day. You are marrying my baby boy and carrying my first grandchild so no more tears sweetie unless they are happy tears. That's an order."

I nod, "No more tears." I take a deep breath, wipe away the remnants of my sadness and smile a true happy smile because I'm getting married.

"Now, do I need to explain the birds and bees to you," jokes Esme to lighten the somber mood as she reopens the bedroom door motioning for Alice to return.

I simply shake my head and smirk. "Nope, it's kinda too late for that talk."

For a moment, Alice stands in uncomfortable silent.

"I ruined your masterpiece Alice. Would you mind applying a second coat?"

Quickly, Alice works her wonders. "Voila, oh my God, you look amazing Bella. _Now_ you can look but don't you dare shed a tear."

Apprehensively, I stand and walk in front of the full length mirror avoiding my reflection. I take a deep steadying breath and, starting with my matching off white shoes, I inch up my reflection before looking at my entire reflection for the first time as a bride . . . in my wedding dress. My heart beats wildly. I like what I see. It's exactly what I had hoped. I smile in self-satisfaction, "Simply elegant, thank you Alice, it's exactly what I wanted."

My off white dress is not the traditional floor length gown. Instead, I opt for a backless, Sabrina illusion neckline, tea length organza and lace dress with a form fitting bodice, ¾ lace sleeves and a very, very full skirt. The dress is everything I dreamed. Most importantly, the slightly raised waist strategically hides my growing baby bump.

My crystal combs loosely pin my hair away from my face while the rest of my hair falls in waves of soft long curls on my back. My makeup looks flawlessly natural and, for the first time ever, I look like I'm glowing. "Do you think Edward will like it?"

Esme scoffs, "Oh sweetie, Edward won't be able to keep his eyes off of you. You look simply stunning." The she adds, "If you weren't already pregnant, you would be by tonight."

Alice and I groan, "Mom."

Rosalie returns with the bouquets. My wedding bouquets consist of lush off white roses with white alstroemeria, miniature lavender carnations, hint of lilacs, white chrysanthemums and waxflower, accented with fresh pittosporum and lemon leaf tied with an emerald green satin ribbon. The wildflowers look as if they were freshly picked from a meadow. I love it. The bridezillas did good.

Alice and Rosalie's bridesmaid bouquets match mine with the exception of the lush white roses. "The roses are for the bride; we get the carnations," explains Alice. 

I squeak as realization sets in, "Oh my God, I'm the bride. I'm getting married!"

At my outburst, the room fills with laughter.

My stomach takes this opportunity to growl. While my morning sickness has finally subsided my appetite has increased. "I don't know about any of you but all this wedding hubbub has me hungry. I could really go for a mushroom pizza right about now."

That stopped the laughing. "Oh, no you don't!" Alice glares at me. "You are not going to eat a pizza and take the chance of getting something on your dress. Ladies," Alice barks, "Rosalie, grab two large bath towels and mom, if you don't mind, would you make Bella a sandwich to tied her over and nothing that can stain her dress." She shakes her head in disgust, "Really, pizza?"

I gobble my sandwich just as Alice announces that the wedding photographer has arrived. Rosalie says the coast is clear, "there are no men in sight. We can head down to the back yard."

I am in awe. The yard has now been transformed into a simple but elegant wedding wonderland.

The photographer tells me to stare off into the distant as he snaps a few pictures. Then I am ordered to look deeply into my bouquet, then serene, now angelic and finally virginal. That's when I finally lose it and break out into laughter. "I think it's a bit late for the virginal shot being that I'm knocked up."

"Bella," scolds Alice.

"Okay, okay. I can do virginal."

"Better."

I take more pictures with the girls and Esme. "Um, I'd like to take a few pictures with my dad before any of the guests arrive. He may feel a bit uncomfortable later. "

"That's a wonderful idea. I'll have Carlisle bring him out."

As Esme heads toward the house, I ask the girls if I can have some private time with Charlie. Without a second thought, they smile and follow Esme.

"I'd like a few minutes alone with my father. Would you mind waiting in the house for a few minutes," I ask the photographer. "You don't want some father/daughter shots? I usually take those with a longer lens for your privacy."

"No thank you."

The photographer gathers his equipment as Carlisle wheels dad out. I walk to meet them. "Well chief, don't you clean up good. You look handsome."

Carlisle wheels dad just under one of the tents before heading back to the house. I grab a chair setting it face to face with dad's chair. Leaning forward, I take his hand in mine. "You really do look handsome dad," I begin. "Um, I'm nervous. I don't know why but I am. There so much I want to say to you right now. I don't know where to start." I look deep into his eyes searching for a sign that he understands my words. "I love you dad. We were never much on showing our emotions but meeting Edward and the Cullen's has changed all that for me. I just want you to know that I love you and I'm going to take care of you . . . always. Today is going to be a busy day and I needed to have some time alone . . . just you and me before all the craziness. Carlisle said we can't keep you out too long so when they take you back know that I will be wishing you were here with me and Edward. I feel a bit selfish wanting you here when you're still not strong enough but I needed you here. You have to be with me when I get married. Anyway, we are going to be gone for two days so Esme and Carlisle will be taking care of you. Billy and Jacob are staying for a few more days too. I wanted to make sure you weren't alone while I'm on my honeymoon. Oh God, I never thought I'd be going on a honeymoon," I laugh.

That's when I notice the slightest of smirk on the left side of dad's face. And, then a faint squeeze of his hand. My laughter stops as I look into his eyes.

Dad looks into my eyes as he murmurs, "hap . . . py."

Leaping off my chair, I burst into tears wrapping my arms around my dad. "Oh dad, that is the best wedding present ever. I'm happy too."

We stay like this for a few minutes until my happy tears stop.

"Bella, I'm sorry to interrupt but we need to get started soon." Carlisle whispers.

I nod pulling away from my dad. I cup his face and kiss his cheek, "I love you chief. See you in a bit." Wiping the last of my tears away, I realize my makeup must be a horror and now I am frightened. I look to Carlisle, "Alice is going to murder me isn't she?"

He simply smiles and nods, "I'm afraid so."

I take a deep breath, straighten my shoulders and march toward the house to face the firing squad.

A/N: Okay, so part two should be up very soon. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AS A WEDDING GIFT TO BELLA AND EDWARD. I also posted the website to see Alice and Rosalie's dresses.


	50. Chapter 50 Never Gonna Give You Up P2

**A/N: Working on this chapter during the Oscar's preshow and Kelly Osbourne's black dress is so similar to Bella's wedding dress in part one. I was so excited! Okay, so here is part two of the wedding chapter. Enjoy Edward's point of view of their wedding. I promised this would be the last chapter but you know how weddings go on forever and the guests just won't leave. I couldn't stop it so I see the honeymoon, epilogue and a Tanya outtake and, I promise, THAT should be the end of the story. Sincerely sorry for the long delay so I'm giving you a longer chapter as retribution. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR Ed Sheeran's "Think Out Loud" songs. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 50 "Never Gonna Give You Up" Part two**

**EPoV**

"I mean it guys, don't try to get me drunk the night before my wedding. I've only got two days off for my honeymoon and I don't plan on spending it nursing a major hangover," I insist hoping to make my point crystal clear.

"That's okay son. I got your back." Dad pats me on the back, "Now somebody hand _me_ a beer."

The guys roar with laughter.

The rest of the night is spent playing drinking games, dealing bad hands at poker, pizza and, after dad leaves for the night, dirty jokes and some porn. And, of course, Jasper smokes a bit to quote 'soothe his nerves.'

"Why do you need to soothe your nerves? I'm the one getting married."

"Because, for the last two weeks, I have been living with Bridezilla Alice," Jasper exhales, "and it was not pretty man. I hid out at the hospital man. She was scary." Jasper shivers.

I stare at the television but the porn blurs. My thoughts drift to my beautiful Bella wondering what she's doing tonight. God, I miss her so much. Being banished to my apartment sucks. I've decided I don't want to be a traditional man anymore if it means I can't sleep with my gorgeous fiancé. "This sucks," I grumble to myself.

I wake to someone nudging my shoulder.

"Edward, wake up. We have to get going soon."

"Hmmmm?" I feel another slightly stronger nudge and I inhale deeply, "I'm up," before nodding off again.

"Son, get up. You're going to be late for your own wedding," dad chuckles.

_My wedding, I'm getting married today. _I stretch my limbs out yawning, "I'm awake."

Dad places a glass of water and two aspirin on the nightstand winking at me.

"Thanks dad but, honestly, I didn't drink that much last night."

"Take them anyway, doctor's orders. Now hurry up son, shower and shave and, for heaven's sake, try to do something with that hair of yours. Those are direct orders from your mother. Now where are your suit and shoes . . . and your overnight bag? I'll go put them in the car while you shower."

Pointing in direction of the closet, I trudge to the bathroom. I let the water warm before stepping into the steamy shower. Dropping my head, the water soaks the back of my head and neck before running down my back. Shutting my eyes, I look up letting the hot water hit my face and run down my chest. With my eyes shut, I am greeted with the image of Bella darkened eyes filled with desire. Instantly, my breathing escalates as my cock hardens.

_Bella smirks as she reaches for my body wash. "Let me do that for you." She squeezes the body wash into her hands . . . she rubs smooth circles on my chest. Our eyes are fixed as my breathing races. I'm silent as her hands make their way down my chest. She licks her lips as her fingers trace down my V. "I think V is my favorite letter," she grins. My stomach tightens in want the lower her hands reach. She smirks as her soft hand wraps around my shaft. Her thumb swipes the tip of my head making me hiss. She tightens her hold on me slowly moving her hand up and down making me breathless. Her movements quicken making me close. "Babe, I want to come in you." _

"_Then come in me now," she commands, arching her eyebrow, as she hitches her leg over my hip._

_I lift her as she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. She bites my lower lip sucking._

_I center the tip at her wet opening and with one quick thrust, I am home. Bella moves her hips encouraging me to move faster._

"_Make me come, Edward . . . now," she breathes into my ear._

_I'm throbbing as I pound deeper into her give all that I have . . . I grab onto her round ass. "More . . . deeper . . . I love you Edward." She meets my thrusts arching her back moving her hips causing the friction she craves. "Harder babe . . . harder . . . don't stop." She gasps for air as her walls tighten around me._

_I'm close as I feel her body quiver giving her two more erratic hard thrust as she melts against me breathless. She lifts her head kissing my lips our tongues tangle._

_Bella smirks, "that was yummy."_

"Edward, did you fall asleep in there," my dad calls out. "Hurry up we have to get going."

Breathless, I answer, "Yeah, I'm almost done."

Dad's obvious fake cough tells me I'm not fooling him.

Bella had insisted I wear a black dress suit instead of a more traditional tuxedo. She had gotten no argument from me on that count. Looking in the full length mirror, I adjust my tie noticing the suit style had a retro look to it. I would wear anything Bella told me to wear to our wedding if it meant she would be my wife.

I knock on Jasper's bedroom door a few times, "Jasper, we're leaving now. See you later okay? Don't be late and don't forget the rings or you are a dead man," I warn.

"Don't be late . . . don't forget the rings . . . got it. Now get out of here so I can go back to sleep," he groans.

"Let's stop for an early lunch before we go pick up the Chief."

"Sounds good, I'm hungry . . . don't want my stomach grumbling during the ceremony."

We sit outside eating a sub sandwich enjoying an usually warm spring day for Seattle.

Dad breaks the silence, "How are you holding up son, nervous get to you yet?"

"I'm good dad . . . but, yeah, I am really nervous. I didn't think I would be this nervous. I don't know why though I can't wait to marry Bella."

Dad snorts, "I know what you mean son. I was on edge the entire day your mom and I got married. Believe me looking back on my wedding day," he shakes his head and sighs, "it wasn't the idea of getting married that had me on edge, it was the _actual_ wedding that made me have second thoughts. All the hoopla and the people . . . having to dance in front of all those people . . . and talking to all these people I hardly knew . . . it was one of the most terrifying days of my life."

I stare at my dad in disbelief. "Gee thanks dad. I feel so much better now," I drone.

Dad chuckles realizing his blunder, "That came out wrong. I just meant there really isn't any reason to be anxious. Everything will be fine if you focus solely on Bella. Ignore all the other crazy wedding stuff . . . keep your eyes on your bride. She'll get you through this with hardly a scratch."

As we eat our lunch, dad tries to keep my mind off all the wedding nonsense by talking about his forthcoming retirement, Bella and I taking over the house once he and mom find a smaller place to live, Charlie's progress and, of course, his first grandchild. Talk of the baby brings a huge smile to his face. "One more thing son, go easy on your mom today. With all this wedding business, I don't think she really has had a chance to think about the fact that you are no longer going to be _her_ baby boy. You're going to be Bella's husband and a father. Just remember, when it does hit her be kind."

"You have my word dad. Now, let's go get the chief. We have a wedding to get to."

As we walk into the Chief's room, Billy and Jacob are watching a rerun of last night's Mariner's game; Charlie appears to have dozed off.

Billy gets up extending his hand to me. "Good to see you again Edward. Thank you for inviting us to your wedding," he whispers careful not to wake the Chief.

"Bella wouldn't have it any other way. She knows how close you and the chief are and how much it will mean to him to have you here. So, _thank you_ for coming. I know it's a long drive." I extend my hand to welcome Jacob too. "Good to see you Jacob."

"Congratulations Edward. You're a lucky man."

Charlie begins to stir from his sleep I sit next to him until he is fully awake. I help Charlie ready for the wedding as dad talks to Billy and Jacob about the Chief's progress. They're relieved knowing that day by day he is pushing himself to improve. We explain everything that will be taking place later today. Billy and Jacob offers to transport the chief back to the center when he tires.

"I hope you and Bella won't be too offended but I'd like to spend as much time as possible with this old geyser," Billy tilts his head in Charlie's direction. "Weddings, well weddings aren't . . ."

"Don't feel bad Billy. Weddings are scary. If I wasn't the groom, I'd be trying to duck out too." We all laugh at my honesty. "But, please don't tell my bride I said that."

On the drive to the house, dad reminds me over and over not to try to see Bella under penalty of death. I am to remain in the family room with the other outcast men.

Without a ramp, the four of us carry the chief's wheelchair up the stairs. I am reminded that I need to get started on the house modifications as soon as possible.

Hearing laughter seep down from Bella's room, I am itching to escape to her room to hell with all that under penalty of death crap. I need to kiss my fiancé.

"Don't even think about it Edward." Jacob warns with a knowing smirk.

"I'm on guard patrol. I've been given strict orders to watch your every move and sound the alarm if you make a move in Bella's direction."

"I was just going to the kitchen for um . . ." I momentarily panic, "for a soda."

"Right," he draws out. "Sure you were. Now sit down and relax."

From the family room, I spy a sullen looking Alice and Rosalie walking to the kitchen. Worried by the expression on their faces, I follow them into the kitchen sending a glaring look back to my watchdog Jacob.

"What's wrong with Bella?"

"I don't know," whispers Alice. "One minute we were laughing and the next Bella asks us to leave the room."

"She's up there talking to Esme," adds Rosalie.

"I better go up there and see what's bothering her." I turn to leave the room but Alice catches me by my elbow.

"No, Edward. Whatever it is she only wants to talk to mom. Give her some space. She will be fine. I promise. I'm going back up; Rosalie, go get the flowers."

Alice leaves the room promising to let me know if she is okay.

I pace the kitchen battling whether to damn tradition all to hell and to comfort my Bella. Comforting Bella wins. Alice looks back at me, "Edward, relax. I promise everything will be fine. The photographer will be here soon. And, please go fix that God awful hair of yours. She's just having pre-wedding jitters."

Returning to the family room after attempting to fix my hair, I finally relax knowing Bella is in the excellent hands of my mom. The men relax enjoying a ballgame but I can't get my mind off of Bella. The sports chatter fades into the background as I reminisce about our first meeting.

Alice finally returns to reassure me that Bella is perfectly fine.

"Are you positive?"

She nods, "As a matter of fact, your fiancé soon-to-be-wife is ready and she is going to knock you out of your socks. She looks breathtakingly stunning if I do say so myself." Alice polishes her fingernails against her dress in a self-congratulatory nod. "We're taking her outside for pre-wedding pictures." She waves her finger at all the men. "If he gets a peek at Bella in her wedding dress, you are all dead. Understood?"

In unison, the men look up from the television and answer, "understood boss."

"The white rose boutonniere is Edward's," Alice points to the plastic box on the counter, ". . . the others are for Emmet, Jasper, Chief Swan and dad. Dad, please make sure that they don't mutilate them before the ceremony . . . and don't forget they go on the left side."

After pinning a boutonniere to Charlie's lapel, dad wheels the chief out to take pictures with Bella. I'm tempted to peek outside but all eyes are on my every move.

Sometime later, Alice finally gives dad the 'all clear' to go outside and start greeting the wedding guests.

"Before we go outside," he waves a bottle of chilled champagne in the air, "Let's toast to your bride Edward."

Dad pops the cork pouring the champagne into the glasses. With a filled glass, dad stands in between Charlie and me lifting his glass. "A toast to my son Edward and his gorgeous bride Bella, I wish a lifetime of happiness and lots of grandchildren for Charlie and me . . . to Bella and Edward."

"To Bella and Edward," everyone repeats.

The small group of friends and family begins to arrive. Dad relays mom and Alice's firm instructions, "Stay out of the house until the bride is ready to come down. Keep calm and make sure Jasper has the rings."

Jasper complains, "I have the rings. Why does everyone think I'm going to forget the rings? They are right here in my pocket." Jasper pats his pocket for good measure. "Yup right here."

Though it is late afternoon, the warm twinkling lights wrapped around every tree begin to transform our backyard into the perfect wedding setting. From the branches, hang clear dripping icicle lights that sparkle between the leaves. The twinkling lights will illuminate the night. I smirk recalling the sparkling lights above us as I proposed. _I must admit mom and Alice did good, real good. I don't know what I was so worried about._

Small white glowing lanterns create a pathway from the house to where I stand waiting for my bride. My heart races in anticipation of watching Bella walk down the aisle. Looking over the dining area, I notice matching off- white lanterns are the centerpiece of each table. Everything is accentuated with lavender, peach and emerald green and, somehow, the array of colors reminds me of my Bella.

"Dude, have you seen the wedding cake?" Emmet interrupts my introspection. "It's not a cake. It's hundreds of cupcakes," his mouth waters. "There's like five layers of cupcakes decorated with flowers . . . all different flavors and colors. I can't wait for you to cut the cake. I'm eating one of each flavor," he chuckles.

I roll my eyes at his juvenile antics.

Dad leans into me announcing that the bride is ready to take the plunge. My heart practically leaps out of my chest. _This is it._ In a few minutes _my_ Bella, the woman who, with one cosmic electric touch, changed all my plans and life forever, will become _my_ wife.

Jasper and Emmet stand to my side as dad asks our guest to take their seats. The seats are arranged in a semi-circle with the bride's lantern path leading to the center.

Dad returns with mom on his arm. Her eyes are fixed on mine as she blows me a kiss and mouths 'I love you my baby boy.'

I return her sentiments as I mouth 'I love you too mom.'

She is seated in the first row between my dad and Bella's dad. Jacob and Billy are seated just behind the chief.

Emmet leans over and whispers, "Hey, Rosie's flowers look like the cupcakes. Do you think they did that on purpose?"

I roll my eyes at Emmet's obsession with the cupcakes. _I hope he doesn't eat all the cupcakes._

To announce the bride, the trio of musicians plays a few bars of "Here Comes the Bride." The guests stand looking in the direction of the lantern lit lane. Dressed in classic 1950's style dresses and carrying colorful matching bouquets, Rosaline and Alice appear at the start of the path. I hear Emmet groan and Jasper gasp their approvals. My heart races as I await my first glimpse of my bride-to-be. Rosalie winks at Emmet as she passes him; he waves back causing her to giggle. A more subdued Alice follows behind Rosalie until she nears Jasper. She arches her brow while Jasper smirks a lopsided smirk knowing he's a goner. Alice returns his smirks knowing she's a goner too.

The music stops and, at the end of the bridal path, _my _Bella awaits. I stop breathing. She is breathtakingly heart achingly beautiful. My eyes glisten with tears at her artless beauty. At this moment, everyone and everything else fades away into the background no one else exists in this world but the two of us. Spellbound, I only see _my_ Bella as her eyes search for mine and, when our eyes finally do meet, she smiles a shy smile, a slight blush spreads across her checks. _I love seeing her blush._ She nods her head as I nod mine wordlessly saying 'I love you' and 'let's do this.' An instrumental version of "Think Out Loud" wafts through our bubble, as _my_ Bella takes her first step toward our forever.

After what feels like an eternity, she walks pass me mouthing 'I'll be right back' continuing in the direction of her father. She bends down whispering something meant only for his ears. He nods as she places a kiss on his check. She returns to my side, "Okay, let's do this Sheldon."

Grinning, I agree, "Let's do this Penny."

In a very traditional ceremony, our voices quiver with deep emotion as we repeat the vows we spoke to each other the night Bella proposed to me.

I turn to Jasper for our bands. In panic, he pretends to search his pockets for the rings.

"If you know what's good for you, you better not have forgotten those rings Jasper," Alice lowly growls.

Miraculously, Jasper quickly presents our bands in his hand as some of the guests snicker.

With a trembling hand, I take the delicately inscribed _Bella and Edward . . . forever_ band and slip it onto her left ring finger promising with all my heart and all my soul . . . my entire being to be her forever.

Slightly breaking tradition, Jasper hands my band to Alice who, in turn, places it in Bella's palm. She mouths the inscription before slipping the band on my left ring finger promising with all her heart and all her soul . . . her entire being to be my forever.

_And we are married. _

I hear a few sniffles coming from the direction of my mother.

"These damn hormones," mom mumbles into dad's chest as he wraps his comforting arm around her shoulder. "Oh _my_ baby boy is a married man," she openly weeps.

Before the minister can finish saying 'you may now kiss your bride,' I cup my wife's face, declare my eternal love and crash my lips to hers. _I have waited all day to kiss her_. Her fingers weave into my hair pulling at roots. I moan enjoying the sensation of her hands tangles in my hair as my hands drop to her waist pulling her as close as possible to me. _I'm never letting her go_. Once again, the world disappears as we breathe in each other's love forgetting everyone and everything.

All too soon the sounds of claps, catcalls and shouts of congratulations eventually burst our bubble. Reluctantly, we break our kiss as husband and wife. I give her one last gentle whisper of a kiss to her swollen lips before turning to our guests. Having forgotten we weren't alone, Bella blushes burying her head into my chest. I proudly wrap my arms around _my_ wife kissing her hair.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to introduce Dr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," proclaims the minister.

Our guests clap as I take the minister's introduction as an excuse to kiss my bride all over again until I am pulled away by my tearful mother.

"Oh, my baby boy I am so happy," she cries into my chest before reaching out to my wife. "You both look so . . . you're both glowing with happiness."

Back in bridezilla mode, Alice instructs us to follow the photographer while our guests are greeted with champagne and appetizers. The trio's background music is drowned out by the boisterous revelry of the guests.

Hand in hand, we grin as we follow the photographer to a tree in the far end of the yard. Hanging from one of the larger branches is a slightly off balanced distressed off white frame. At the bottom of the frame, in what appears to be emerald green metallic paint, reads _Edward and Bella . . . forever_.

"This is amazing," cries Bella as the photographer positions us in the center of the large frame.

"Yes, you are amazing . . . you took my breath away walking down the aisle." I begin to kiss my wife as the photographer shamelessly snaps shot after shot.

Clearing his throat, he interrupts our celebration. "Um, I don't mean to interrupt but could we get a few shots to show the kiddies someday," he jokes.

Blushing, Bella breaks away, "Sorry . . . sorry of course," she mumbles as she nervously wipes away some imaginary wrinkles in her dress.

Bridezilla Alice rejoins us directing the photographer for the next hour or so until the sun begins to disappear. The photographer returns to the wedding party as we follow far behind Alice. Bella entwines her fingers with mine promising never to let go.

Met with cheers, we make our way to the bride and groom's table. Bella proudly smirks as a plate of perfectly cooked medium rare roast beef, garlic mashed potatoes, and glazed carrots are set in front of me.

"Have I told you how much I love you," I smirk. "You know exactly what makes me happy."

"Um, I did hear something about a way to a man's heart is through his stomach," she snorts. "Now let's eat. I haven't eaten since early this morning . . . me and baby bear are famished."

Bella turns to help Charlie with his meal as he grumbles trying to shoo her away. 

"This is my wedding Chief and I can do anything I want _and_ I want to help my dad with his meal."

In defeat, Charlie grumbles his displeasure as Bella kisses his cheek causing him to grumble again.

As dinner winds down, the obligatory speeches begin. Alice welcomes her new sister to the family while Emmet teases about not getting much sleeping the next couple of days. I hear Charlie grumble at Emmet's words. "Oh, and I call dibs on the chocolate cupcakes," he quickly adds.

Dad speaks next. "On behalf Chief Swan," he looks in Charlie's direction who slightly nods, "I want to welcome Edward into the Swan family _and_ Bella into the Cullen family." He pauses as the guests applaud. "And, speaking for the both of us," again looking in the Chief's direction, "we would like every single one of those bedrooms," he points in the direction of the house, "filled with grandbabies as soon as possible."

Surprisingly, Bella laughs, "One at a time if you don't mind _but_ I'll see what I can do." She winks at me and, this time, I blush.

Mom, who has handled herself fairly well considering dad's warning, is next to speak. "Well _my_ baby boy . . . I guess I can't call you _my_ baby boy anymore." She looks tenderly into my eyes, "You are a married man now . . ." as her tears begin as realization has finally hit her.

I walk over to mom, take her in my arms and let her cry. "I will always be your baby boy mom. I love you so much . . . thank you for everything you have done for Bella and me . . . and for giving us the most perfect wedding ever."

She shakes her head. "I love you too Edward. No mother could more proud of her son than I am of you . . . and your beautiful wife, you couldn't have planned that any better. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You both deserve it." She inhales deeply finding the strength to break free from me. "Now go on . . . go give your bride a kiss."

It's the groom's turn to speak. I stand next to my bride our fingers entwined again. Filled with an array of emotions, there are things that must be said but - this being a wedding - I feel the need to keep my words light . . . happy . . . joyous. I stand, lift my glass and clear my throat. "First, my wife Bella . . . I love saying that . . . my wife Bella and I want to thank everyone for celebrating our wedding with us especially considering the short notice." Some guests laugh and clap. "Second, _we_," I look into Bella's eyes for confirmation as she nods her head, "we cannot thank my mother, also known as Bridezilla one, and Alice, Bridezilla two, for organizing this absolutely amazing wedding in just two weeks. I don't know how the two of you did all this but," I shake my head in wonder, "but I will never forget what you have done for us. We love you both." Bella blows a kiss in mom and then Alice's direction as mom weeps. "And lastly, I want to thank Bella for agreeing to be my wife. I know she worried . . . had some apprehension that our life together wouldn't be what _I_ had planned but," I place my glass on the table before looking deep into her glistening eyes. Slowly, I come face to face with her, take her face into my hands and promise her ". . . I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Penny."

My emotional wife shakes her head, "I love you too Sheldon. Thank you for this wonderful adventure."

We share a tender kiss as our guests raise their glasses in a toast to 'Bella and Edward.'

"My dad was right." I whisper in Bella's ear.

She hums, "Right about what?"

Gazing passionately into her eyes I confess, "I was so nervous earlier . . . dad told me to just focus on my beautiful bride," I grin, "and I would be fine . . . and when I looked into your eyes . . . or touched your hand … I knew I had nothing to be nervous about . . ."

Bella crashes her lips to mine desperately sucking my lower lip as her tongue dances with mine . . . all nervousness now forgotten.

"Save it for the honeymoon," shouts Emmet. "I'm waiting for my chocolate cupcakes."

Our wedding guests roar with laughter as I squint in the direction of tiers of overflowing sugary wildflower cover cakes.

"And don't you _dare_ ruin my masterpiece by smashing frosting on Bella's face," glares Bridezilla Alice.

Heeding Alice's warning, we cautiously feed each other some mouthwatering wedding cupcakes before Alice leads us to the center of the dance floor. Having replaced the trio, the DJ invites all the single ladies onto the floor to catch Bella's bouquet. The girls jockey for the best position to catch the Holy Grail of weddings . . . the bride's bouquet. Being the tallest of the zealous group, Tanya and Rosalie size up their competition.

"That bouquet is mine," hisses Rosalie through tightened lips.

"We'll just see about that," Tanya counters as Bella counts _one . . . two . . . three._ Tanya's gracefully long arm reaches into the air easily catching the bridal bouquet signaling, by tradition, she is the next to marry.

Rosalie pouts into Emmet's comforting arms. "Oh don't worry Rosy. You know I'm gonna marry you even though you didn't catch the bouquet."

Rosalie squeals in delight, "Oh Emmie!"

Unlike the females, the single male guests straggle onto the floor to catch Bella's emerald green garter, no traditional _something blue_ for her. My hands slide up her silky smooth leg. My nostrils flare, my heart races as my cock twitches in the direction of home.

Bella slaps my hand away, "Edward, my dad is watching. Stop looking like you're about to have your way with me right in front of our guest," she scolds through her tight luscious lips while trying to keep a smile on her face.

A matching set, Tanya's date, Alistair catches the garter all but sealing the deal for the new couple.

Alice nods to the DJ, who has replaced the trio of musician, as she asks the guests to clear the floor. Locked in each other's embrace, we look up at the warm cascading lights illuminating the floor. The DJ hands Alice a microphone as she announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's first dance as husband and wife."

Our own ginger Ed Sheeran's "Think Out Loud" begins to play and as Bella's eyes fix on mine a brilliant smile spreads across her face. _"When your legs don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep you off of your feet, Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love, Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks, And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70, And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23, And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, Maybe just the touch of a hand" _ Neither of us are very good dancers so we sway to _our_ song murmuring words of promises and forever love . . . lost in our own world.

"You know, when I'm seventy, I probably won't remember every detail of today but I will always remember how heart achingly beautiful you look today."

"And _I_ will always remember how breathtakingly handsome you look today too. You look rather dashing in your suit Dr. Cullen . . . I love what you did with your hair." She tilts her head up as our lips meet.

"_Oh me I fall in love with you every single day, And I just wanna tell you I am, So honey now, Take me into your loving arms, Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars."_ The passion of our kisses becomes desperate as I take my wife into my loving arms and she takes me in hers.

"I missed you last night," Bella breathes.

I feel her racing heartbeat against my chest. "I missed you last night too. I never want to sleep without you in my arms ever again woman." I hug her tighter feeling our electric connection with every touch.

"_Woman?_ . . . Oh, Edward you're such a caveman now that we're married."

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?"

Bella giggles, "Are you getting forgetful already? You just told me a second ago."

"And I'm going to keep on telling you because _you are_ beautiful." I place my hand on my wife's baby bump. "So how's junior doing today? Did he miss me last night?"

Bella arches a brow, "Hmmmm, junior huh? Is that your subtle way of telling me you're hoping for a boy?"

Clearing my throat at my obvious slip, I nervously attempt to retract my words stuttering, "I mean baby bear . . . yeah, how's _our_ baby bear doing today?"

"Nice save Dr. Cullen and . . . she's doing fine," she counters.

I hate to change the happy subject but the white elephant needs to be addressed. I clear my throat. "She didn't show did she?"

Bella minutely nods a no. "No, she didn't show," she inhales deeply, "and I'm not going to allow her to ruin my wonderful wedding. I'm happy . . . so no more talk about she who will not be named."

"No more talk about she who will not be named." I kiss my wife's trembling lip that soon quivers with desire.

I feel slight tap on my shoulder as our kiss is interrupted. _What is it with all these people interrupting me when I'm kissing my wife? Our_ song morphs into one of mom's favorite songs by _her_ ginger Rick Astley as Alice announces the traditional dance with the parents.

A pained expression spreads across Bella's face as she quickly looks in the direction of her father. With his strong hand, the Chief gives Bella a thumbs-up as my mom and dad walk onto the dance floor.

Dad extends his hand to Bella, "I would never presume to take the place of your father but, if it's alright with you, I'd be honored to stand in for him just this one time."

Bella runs to her dad, kisses his cheek and proclaims, "I love you Chief," before returning to the dance floor. Through teary eyes she answers with a watery smile, "I would be honored to dance with you dad."

Half of the guests are in tears as the other half are clapping as I dance with my weeping mom and dad sways with a weeping Bella. "_When I fall in love if will be forever Or I'll never fall in lovein a restless world like this is Love is ended before it's begun And too many moonlight kisses Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun . . ." _Half way through the song, dad kisses Bella's hand before trading partners. Mom melts into dad as he sings. Bella melts into me as I follow suit gazing down into my wife's teary eyes. "_When I give my heart it will be completely Or I'll never give my heart And the moment I can feel That you feel that way too Is when I fall in love with you . . ." _ We crush our lips together as, once again, Bella's longing hands weaving into my hair. My desperation obvious as I suck on her swollen lower lip until Bella is dragged out of my arms. "I can't catch a break," I complain as Rosalie leads me to a chair forcing me to sit.

Confused, I look to Bella who is fixing her kiss smeared lips. My incandescently beautiful wife gazes into my eyes and winks. Alice hands the microphone to Bella as Alice, Rosalie and my mother stand closely behind. "This is for you Sheldon . . . I love you." She looks to the DJ, "Hit it."

I know the song on the first note. I grew up singing this song but this time _my_ Bella sings into the microphone as her backup singers join in. _"We're no strangers to love, You know the rules and so do I, A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, You wouldn't get this from any other guy, I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, Gotta make you understand, Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you" _She dances in sync with the other women mimicking the 80s video and my heart aches at how much I love my wife. "_. . . Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it, Inside we both know what's been going on, We know the game and we're gonna play it, And if you ask me how I'm feeling, Don't tell me you're too blind to see . . . Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. . . Ooh give you up . . . Ooh give you up . . . Ooh Never gonna give, never gonna give give you up . . . Ooh Never gonna give, never gonna give give you up . . . We've known each other for so long, Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it, Inside we both know what's been going on, We know the game and we're gonna play it, I just want to tell you how I'm feeling, Gotta make you understand, Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. . ."_

She leaps onto my laps as the songs ends. I'm never gonna give her up.

**A/N:** I tried really hard to make the wedding as real as possible. I hope I succeeded. I know it's been a long time BUT please show some love with comments or reviews. Both songs sung by my favorite ginger Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up" is written by Peter Alan Waterman, Matthew James Aitken, and Mike Stock. "When I Fall in Love" is by Donnelly, McPartlin, Stannard and Davis.


	51. Chapter 51 Wonderful You

**A/N: Well, it looks like this is the end of the regular chapters. I want to thank some of my very loyal viewers and reviewers. Your encouragement gave me the support to finish this story when I did think of abandoning my Edward and Bella. So thank you to jule2, cullenmeadow, alc1002, dazzleglo, mannco, sujari6, smiley guest, lotus11, cctwilight, .1257, snoopylover60, banned2010, jxb addicted, and any one I may have overlooked please forgive me but THANK YOU. PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT! I'll be so over the moon if you do : )**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs OR Ed Sheeran's "Think Out Loud" songs. I also do not own or operate the Inn at the Market but would love to go there someday. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 51 "Wonderful You" **

**EPoV**

"Baby, don't cry. It breaks my heart to see you cry. I promise, from the bottom of my heart, the Chief's in good hands." With the tip of my finger, I lift her chin urging my weeping wife to look into my anxious eyes. "He is fine okay." Searching, I look for a glimmer of hope in her beautiful sparkling golden honey brown eyes. "Billy and Jacob gave me their word that they will look after him while we are away. I know leaving him for even _two_ days is going to be hard on you but he has dad and Billy and Jacob and a slew of doctors, nurses, physical therapists and, above all, he has momma bear . . . hell, she could take care of the Chief all by herself if we let her," I chuckle. "So, please don't worry . . . too much okay."

"Are you sure," she whimpers as she wipes her tears away resting her head and hand on my chest as I pull her tighter into the warmth of my arms. I draw small soothing circles on her back hoping to calm her.

"I'm positive. He'll be so busy visiting with the Blacks he won't have time to miss you." Silently, I comfort my Bella until her tears subside. "Are you feeling any better?"

Bella minutely nods her head up and down as one of her fingers traces my heart.

"Okay then let's get back to our reception . . . unless you'd rather sneak out right now," I suggest with a devilish gleam in my eye.

Pulling away from me as if electrified she shouts, "Are you crazy! If we sneak out one second before Bridezilla one _or_ two are finished with us, they may come hunting for us." All signs of tears now gone as Bella stands on her tiptoes kissing my lips, "and I don't want any interruption later." Her voice laced with promises.

Bella's kiss morphs into a smirk as I plunge my tongue into her heated mouth. She moves her hips making me hiss as she rubs against my hardening cock. I pull her into me as she moan; our hearts frantically beat as one.

"Let's get out of here now," I plead just as I hear Alice, Bridezilla two, calling our names. "I'm going to kill her." _I just can't catch a break._

Bella growls, "I'll help you hide the body . . . oh, no . . . how's my make up?"

"You look beautiful," I whisper.

"Bella what happened to my masterpiece?" Alice taps her foot. "Follow me," she scowls ordering Bella to the house for some touch ups.

Like a repentant child and head hung low, Bella follows Bridezilla to the house.

I wait for Bella near the aisle of glowing lanterns watching some of our guests dance; others chat and drink at the now cleared dinner tables while still others pose behind the hanging frame commemorating our wedding. So entranced by the beauty of the celebration, I don't notice when my mother places her arm around my back resting her head on my shoulder.

"Are you having a good Edward?"

"Yes, mom I'm having a wonderful time." I place a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Thank you for _all_ of this . . . Bella and I will remember this day for the rest of our lives. I love you mom."

Mom pats my back. "You know you don't have to thank me. I loved every minute of it. I would do anything for my children . . . _all_ my children and I love you too Edward. Oh look, there's your bride. Go on . . . enough of this mushy stuff. Your bride's looking for you."

Before I can reach _my_ bride, Bella is whisked away into the arms of Garrett. _And I thought Garrett was my friend._

With a knowing smirk, Kate offers her hand and, being the gentleman that my mom raised, I graciously escort her onto the dance floor. We chat about the wedding reception until Irina cuts in for a dance.

I dance . . . and smile . . . and thank all the wedding well-wishers but enough is enough. That's it! _I_ want to dance with _my_ wife . . . no, I ache to have her in my arms, to be with _my_ wife and not on the dance floor. Scanning the guests on the dance floor, I search for _my_ bride. Her scent, that inimitable mix of freesia, strawberry and wisteria, assaults all my senses leading me directly to _my_ Bella, _my_ wife in the arms of Alistair, Tanya's date. I huff in frustration at Alistair _and_ his British accent that women can't resist. "Enough already," I shout over the music. "No one else is allowed to dance with _my_ bride but me." I storm in the direction of _that_ smooth talking Brit clearing my throat as I tap his British shoulder, "Now, if I am correct, did you not came with a date?" I seethe as I separate that smooth talking Brit and his British accent from _my_ beautiful wife.

"I . . . I . . . I beg your pardon Edward. I didn't mean to . . . um . . . Bella . . . again best wishes," the Brit stutters in his British accent as he steps away from _my_ beaming bride, "Congratulations Edward." He nods as he slivers away to _his_ date.

"Oh Sheldon, you're so hot when you jealous. I love it when you go all caveman on me," _my_ Bella teases once completely back in my arms.

"Damn right I'm going all caveman . . . you're _mine_ and only mine," I decree.

"Only yours," she whispers against my lips. "Now let's get the hell out of here and I'll show you I'm only yours."

Infuriatingly, it takes us another long agonizing hour before we are actually on our way. Before the girls help Bella change out of her wedding dress, I call out to Bella. She pauses and turns to me smiling; she is simply radiant. The surrounding warm twinkling lights create a heavenly aura transforming her into my angelic creature. Taking one last look at my bride, my breath hitches as I etch the exquisite image of my wife in her wedding dress to memory. "I love you," I mouth.

"I love you," she mouths back before being dragged away by Bridezilla two. She rolls her eyes.

With our overnight bags safely tucked away in the trunk of the town car, I'm ready to leave but, wrapped in each other's arms, grandma bear and Bella cry 'how happy they are that they are now officially family'. All signs of Bridezilla two are gone as Alice joins in on the cry-fest declaring she can't wait to start planning the baby shower.

"Oh, I want to help with the baby shower too," cries Rosalie as the trio of weeping women becomes a quartet.

In chorus, Emmet and Jasper groan at the notion of their women planning another soiree and sulk away leaving me with the weeping women.

"Bella we really need to get going," I urge as I attempt to pull her from momma bear's grip but she has her in the bear hug of all bear hugs.

"Mom, I promise I'll bring Bella back in two days if you let me have her for now," I half-joke. _I'm never letting her go._

In my peripheral, I see Emmet and Jasper smirking as I read 'Just Married & already knocked up' splashed across the back window of our car.

"This is perfect; I love it," cries Bella running in the direction of the car. "Let's take some selfies baby," she squeals.

The guests take picture after picture as we pose near the car's 'Just Married' window. Bella shouts to the guest to forward their pictures to her as she takes a few selfies. There are even a few photo bombs thanks to the guys before I stealthily lead her into the back seat. Our driver closes the door shutting out the goodbyes and we are _finally_ on our way.

I don't give my bride time to say a word before I crash my lips to hers. If she was going to say anything, it is all but forgotten as the soft swirl of our tongues become desperate battling for dominance and submission both capturing and surrendering.

Our drive is short . . . and thank goodness because I am about to explode.

Breathless, I promise, "Someday I am going to take you on a honeymoon adventure of a life time . . ."

Bella's lips whisper, "You are _all_ the adventure I will ever want or need Edward . . . I love you so much sometimes it hurts," she cries. "I can't believe I ever thought of living without you . . . _kiss _. . . you are _my_ life now . . . you and our baby."

Before I can respond, the car stops; a slight tap on the smoky black partition window interrupts us.

"We're here," I breathe excitedly exiting the car and offering a gentleman's hand to Bella.

She looks around looking confused at the neon sign, "Pike's Place?"

As Bella continues to survey her surroundings, our driver removes our overnight bags setting them down on the sidewalk. I thank our driver before hanging one bag over my shoulder and grab hold of the other bag. With my free hand, I take Bella's hand in mine. "No, not quite Pike's Place but close. Come on." I tilt my head to the left strolling down the street in the direction of Post Alley. Bella quietly looks around at the nearby shops and restaurants as she follows my lead.

Pausing at the door, I drop the overnight bags and, without warning, whisk Bella into my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck placing soft kisses just below my ear before tugging at my lobe the tip of her tongue teases my ear. Impatient, I quickly turn the doorknob carrying my wife across the threshold bridal style. Once indoors, I kiss my bride slowly unwrapping her from arms. Her fingers weave into my hair as I envelope her in my arms. Our kisses simmer with want and desire.

Bella breaks away as she pants for air, her cheeks flushed as she tries to regulate her breathing. She begins to survey our surroundings. Standing in silent wonder; her eyes explore the loft. She gasps at the sites just passed the floor to ceiling windows. To one side of the window the Seattle Great Wheel slowly revolves while the red neon Public Market sign illuminates the dark sky of the Puget Sound.

"What is this Edward," she murmurs.

"This is our own private paradise for the next two days and two nights my love. Do you approve?"

Nodding, she wipes away a tear traveling down her cheek. "This is absolutely amazing."

Taking Bella by the hand, I lead her out onto the private balcony of our paradise; instantaneously, our bodies react to the cold Puget Sound night air. Standing close behind Bella, I wrap her in the warmth of my arms as she melts into me.

I rub a small circle above _our_ baby's bump. "Sorry baby, daddy loves you so very much, but for the next two days _and_ nights it's just going to be momma and daddy okay."

I feel Bella's body shake as she giggles, "Just you and me," Bella agrees placing her hand over mine. We shiver as electricity flows between our bodies.

"Come on, let's go inside. It's too cold out here besides I want to give you the grand tour."

"Now stand right here." Taking Bella by her shoulders, I position her smack dab in the center of the loft to allow her a panoramic view as I begin the tour of our own private paradise. "This, my dear, is Beecher's Loft. It's a private loft adjacent to the Inn at the Market and rests right above Market Place . . . yet very secluded for its inhabitants. As you can see, we have a wonderful view afforded us by the floor to ceiling windows . . . but no one can see in, perfect for honeymoon couples," I explain sounding like a hotel concierge repeating the loft's description from the hotel's website. Like a game show hostess, I extend my arm out, "as you can see this room is a harmonious blend of exposed beams, iron rusted counters, and warm wood floors which balance the custom furnishings, hand-tufted rugs, and original artwork." I take Bella's hand leading her pass the full-size kitchen and sitting room to the most important room in the loft. "This," gazing deep into Bella's eyes, "is _my_ personal favorite." I wink, "it has a king size Hypnos bed . . . with more than enough room for two people to sleep comfortably or . . . whatever" I wiggle my eyebrows as Bella giggles.

_**BPoV**_

"I'm speechless Edward. This place is unbelievable."

"I'm glad you approve." Edward stretches his arms and lets out a very obvious fake yawn. "Well I'm beat. Why don't we hit the hay," he smirks, "it's been a long day."

Playing along, I imitate his fake stretch and yawn but add my own spin by arching my back and giving Edward a glimpse of my cleavage and growing breast as my blouse hugs my body. I snicker as Edward's eyes widen. "Yup, I'm beat too. I think . . . I um . . . I think I'll just go change into something more comfortable." _Suddenly, I'm nervous and giddy and horny as hell all at once._ "Can you bring me my bag please?"

Edward takes three long strides taking me into his embrace. He breathes into my ear, "Do you need any help?"

"I think I do remember how to undress myself," I quiver in anticipation at Edward's offer.

"Oh, but I do it so much better," he insist as his hand inches up my blouse.

With much difficulty, I pull myself away from his arms looking into his disappointed eyes. "I have a surprise for you," a mischievous grin spreads across my face. "Now go get my bag so we can get ready for _bed_." I point in the direction of the living room.

I hardly have a chance to slip off my shoes before Edward is back with my overnight bag. "Thanks handsome." My sultry voice suggests things to come. "I'll be back in a minute. Now, while I'm gone go make yourself comfortable." I smirk fully aware the obvious effect I am having on my husband. _If I thought saying my fiancé was fun, saying husband is a thousand times better._

Edward's eyes lock with mine as I sashay into the bathroom. Teasingly, I throw him a kiss before closing the door. As soon as the door closes, I hear the hurried footsteps of my husband patter back and forth; I wonder what he is up to in the bedroom. My stomach tightly coils in anticipation of things to come.

In a flash, I tear off my clothes, wash off Alice's retouched masterpiece, finally feeling like myself again, brush my teeth, gargle and quickly, but carefully, re-shave my legs. All the while, my heart is racing hoping Edward will like my bridal lingerie. I apply Edward's favorite scented lotion to my entire body before brushing my hair and pulling it into a loose messy bun on the top of my head which ultimately falls to one side. I smile at the mess, "perfect." Next, I pull out an old pair of knee high sock that reach just pass my knees. And, now, for the pièce de résistance, I slip on my top that ends mid-thigh. I pause examining myself in the mirror. I smile hearing soft music seeping through the door. "Oh, I nearly forgot. I slip on one last accessory before looking into the mirror. "I _am_ one fierce femme fatal if I do say so myself . . . now let get this show on the road."

Hoping to make a grand entrance, I quietly open the door using it as a frame leaning against one side waiting for my husband to look up. And, he does.

**EPoV**

The instant the bathroom door closes I race around the room to set up the chilled Champaign and flutes, _one sip to celebrate our marriage won't harm our baby,_ cheeses and fruits, and two grey soft silk scarfs. I place my Ipod on the dock shuffling my wedding night playlist and adjust the volume to a whisper. I light a few of the candles scattered about the room before _I_ freshen up and change in the other bathroom. Returning to the bedroom, I spy the door to the bathroom still closed. I nervously pace back and forth awaiting _my_ wife. To calm my nerves, I turn to pour the Champaign when I hear a slight click of the bathroom lock. Placing the second glass down, I turn and, like a masterpiece framed in the doorway, my heart skips a beat at the vision standing before me . . . _my_ wife.

My entire being takes in her angelic body . . . I inhale her intoxicating scent that beacons me to her. My eyes worship the image of her long mahogany waves now pulled up into a hot messy bun, the thick black framed glasses perched on the tip of her nose, the long playfully patterned socks settling just passed her knees and . . . _our_ Dartmouth hoodie covering her soft growing curves. Her honey golden brown eyes sparkle as she bites her lower lip. _She is my fantasy personified._

"Do you like?" Bella teases with a hint of desire in her sultry voice.

Frozen in time, I know without a single doubt, nothing I could have ever planned for my life will ever surpass this moment in time. This vision . . . no, this Venus standing before me brings tears to my eyes. I thought her an angelic vision in her wedding dress but, now, standing before me is _my_ temptress, my downfall . . . my surrender. I am hers _and_ she is mine.

Bella smiles a lopsided grin; I blink breaking my trance.

"Well, do you like what you see my husband?"

In two long strides, my wife is in my arms her legs wrapped around my waist, her arms locked around my neck. "What do you think?" I groan pressing her back against the door grinding my rock hard cock against her hot core.

"Take me to bed," she whispers in my ear before biting my earlobe.

Entangled in each other's arms, I stop at the foot of the bed carefully placing my love in the center of the bed. She lies down her eyes inviting me to join her. The tip of her sock-covered toe trails down my leg beaconing me to come closer. Playfully, I grab her ankle pulling off one sock then the other tossing it across the room. Still holding her leg, I kiss her toe; she giggles her eyes hooded. Kneeling on the edge of the bed, my lips leave a trail of wet kisses up her leg. She quivers as I near her inner thigh drunk from her intoxicating scent.

Bella grabs the ends of my hair pulling me closer to her glistening core. My nostrils flare with desire as my tongue swirls her swollen nub. She hisses at the pleasure locking my head with her legs. My hands spread them open as my tongue greedily licks up her luscious lips. Her moans entice me to pleasure her again before slipping into her folds. She yanks at my hair urging me deeper as I oblige. _I will give her anything she wants._

Her legs relax welcoming me deeper into her. As my tongue flattens hard against her clit; her body reacts to my every touch . . . every lick . . . and every kiss traveling up her body . . . _mine_. Honoring the slight bump, I leave one soft kiss before my hands slip under our hoodie exposing more of her radiantly translucent skin. Bella stretches her arms above her head enabling me to remove her top.

I pause momentarily to take one last look at my wife wearing her thick black framed glasses. "As much as I love the way you look wearing these," I dangle the frames on tip of my finger before also tossing them across the room to join her discarded socks, "they are a bit of a distraction."

With the last of Bella's bridal lingerie strewn across the floor, she lies before me her heaving breasts flushed with want. "You're so beautiful," I whisper before taking a pebbled nipple into my mouth while my hand worships the other erect nub.

Capturing my waist between her legs, Bella digs her heels into my ass; her body desperately shivers as she digs her fingers into my back aching to be as close as possible.

I trail kisses across her chest lavishing her other breast with my greedy tongue before crashing my lips to hers. Consumed with want . . . our tongues tangle in a heated dance . . . lips suck . . . lick . . . bite . . . we live breathing in each other's soul . . . melting together as one.

She whines when I break our needy kisses and pull away from her. She pouts furrowing her brow; I smirk at her adorably sexy pout. Cupping her heaving breasts in my hands, I let them slowly roam over her nipples until they settle under her arms. I feel her racing heart.

Wordlessly, I look into her searching eyes as my hands lead her arms above her head. She begins to move but my hands softly hold her in place.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

Keeping her trapped with my eyes, I reach for the grey silk scarfs carefully tying one around her wrist. Simultaneously, her eyes widen and become hooded with deep desire. I lean down gently kissing her lips, "trust me," I command.

She closes her eyes and nods.

I carefully lift her head in my hand kissing one eye and then the other before placing the other silk scarf over her trusting eyes. Taking in her erratic breathing, I murmur to her lips, "no matter what, keep your hands above your head until I take off this scarf understand."

"I understand."

Lovingly, I place one soft whisper of a kiss on her lips before worshipping every inch of her body with wet heated kisses. My hands knead her soft round ass allowing one finger to tease far pass her folds. Shocked at my boldness, she gasps at the possibilities. I kiss the underside of her breast hearing her heart begging for release. I lick from her waist up circling her breast with my tongue blowing warm air causing her nipples to harden even more. Noticing her fingers itching to touch me, I place kisses from her finger tips to her underarm, "tisk . . . tisk . . . tisk . . . no moving _my_ love."

"You're killing me _my_ love," she whimpers. "Please, I need you to be in me now."

"Not yet," I tease as my lips suck at her pleasure point below her ear my finger entering her wet folds. She gasps for air as I pull away.

I enter a second curved finger as my thumb circles her clit. Her legs quiver . . . her moans fill the room.

"No please," she cries out. "Please don't stop," she cries as I pull my hand away from her dripping warmth.

I place my coated finger to her lips as she sucks it in. This time it is my turn to hiss at the sensation but I pull my finger out just before she finishes licking me off. She groans in frustration her arms aching to move.

I kiss my way down her body before spreading her legs licking up and down her folds again before teasing her clit with my tongue.

She cries out in agony, "Please . . . please baby . . . I need to touch you . . . I need you inside me now . . . oh god, please."

I take the tip of my rock hard cock teasing her clit with the tip. She shivers in unadulterated pleasure but I don't enter her. She moves her hips forward and I smirk at her urgency. Sliding my tip up and down her folds, I tease, "Is this what you want?"

"Yes, I want your hard cock now," she growls.

Without warning, I thrust into heaven. We cry out in unison. I pull all the way out before slamming back into her. Together we move matching thrust to thrust . . . faster . . . harder . . . deeper. Her legs travel up my chest and lock behind my neck. I thrust even faster and harder and deeper hitting places that make her cry out in pleasure. _This is all about her tonight._

Obeying my command, her arms remain above her withering body as she cries out my name. I twist her around, pulling her to her knees with the rest of her body stretching out along the bed. Entering her from the back, we moan at the new position. I pound into her again and again, a thin sheet of perspiration covers our bodies. Feeling the tightening of my stomach and my impending orgasm, I play with Bella's clit ensuring she comes with me.

I feel her body quiver as she calls out Edward as I call out Bella. With a few more hard thrust, we breathlessly fall to the bed. Unsure of her reaction to my silk scarfs, I untie her wrist and then her blindfold with anxious hands.

She cups my anxious face, lovingly kissing my lips, "That was perfect. We are definitely doing that again."

Sated and satisfied, I fall on my back as my wife rests her ear on my racing heart. She kisses the spot as my arms pull her close as she holds on to me. Whispering words of forever love, we fight our sleep and, as it should be, are lulled to sleep with the sound of Rick Astley's voice _"When I come home a little late at night And I crawl into my bed I think of you and where you are tonight And I wish you were here instead . . . I really want you to know That I'm the one, I'm never lettin' go I swear I'll do the best I can to be Your one and only man 'cause . . . You light up my night and day You bring on the sunshine You make me feel good today Yeah you, wonderful you . . . When times are hard and nothing goes my way . . . And I wonder what to do I think of you and all the things you say You're the one that pulls me through I really want you to know That I'm the one, I'm never lettin' go I swear I'll do the best I can to be Your true and only man 'cause . . . You light up my night and day You bring on the sunshine You make me feel good today Yeah you, wonderful you . . ."_

"Good morning _my_ husband, now, it's my turn," she whispers in my ear; her delicate hand slides down my torso to awaken my semi-hard cock. Crawling down my body, a mischievous gleam plays in her golden honey brown eyes, my eyes fix on hers as she licks her lips. Holding my hardness in her hands, she runs her warm tongue up my shaft circling the tip of my head with the tip of her tongue.

With great urgency, my hands find purchase in her hair as I pull her closer as my head drops back relishing every stimulating sensation of her warm mouth.

She repeats the motion again licking up and down my cock; teasing me as she swirls her tongue around my head.

"Please," I beg with a groan.

"Please what," she smirks before taking me deeper into her hot greedy mouth. Her hands wraps around my length pleasuring every part of me. She sucks me in until my tip hits the back of her throat.

With each suck and lick of her tongue, my stomach coils; I am ready to explode. Attempting to speak, to warn her of my impending orgasm, my voice is overpowered by my raw nerve endings. Without warning, my body quakes as I cum. I fill her as she willingly swallows every drop.

As if she had just eaten a delicious meal, she wipes her mouth and licks her lips. Her lips melt with mine, slow at first and then crescendo into maddening desire. As the need for oxygen overpowers us, we break away as Bella straddles me. Breathlessly, she positions my tip at her opening and, without warning, slides down on me. She stills for a moment before leading my hands to her breasts. We kiss as she takes control rotating her hips hitting her clit with the right amount of pressure.

My mouth latches onto one of hardened nipples. I bite down enough to send a shiver down her back before sucking hard playing with the tip. I release on breast only to take pleasure in the other.

Placing her hands on my chest, I lie down as her movements become erratic. I slide my hand between us giving her clit just enough pleasure to send Bella over the edge. She cries out my name, "Edward," as her head falls back, her chest heaving.

We make love again and again with all thoughts of breakfast . . . and then lunch forgotten. We christen the living room several times before moving to the dining room and then the kitchen when I attempt to make a pot of coffee. Discreetly, we even make love on the balcony.

Draped in a blanket, we stare out at the Puget Sound talking about the amazing scenery. Bella gushes how this is the best honeymoon ever as I counter this will be her only honeymoon. _She is mine forever._ We turn into each other's arms beginning round two on the balcony when Bella's stomach growls rather loudly.

"Come on," I lead her back into the loft, "we need to eat . . . gotta keep our strength up for tonight." Bella stays wrapped in my arms as I call the hotel's front desk asking them to deliver an early dinner.

"Dinner will be here in an hour. Let's go take a shower," I wiggle my eyebrows. We come just in time for me to dress and answer the door. While Bella dries her hair, I set the food on the small table in the living room rather than the twelve seat dining table. I light the candles and dim the lights. The neon lights of the Market Place add to the ambience.

This time Bella wears a rather seductive emerald green silk negligee that floats with every step.

My hooded eyes tell her she won't be wearing it for very long.

"It's a gift from Alice. I promised I would wear it. I thought I better wear it at least once," she shyly confesses.

During dinner, I nervously bring up the topic of the grey silk scarfs and how my Christmas gift taught me a few new tricks. Bella reassures me we will be doing that again but with me blindfolded. My cock twitches at her suggestion. I compliment her on her choice of sexy wedding night lingerie which leads to reminiscing our first encounter and then our goodbye kiss at the pizzeria. We admit that it was love at first sight for each of us and how heartbroken we each were at the thought of never seeing each other again. At our admission, we make out like a couple of teenagers. We make plans to be real Seattle tourist the next day but we _don't_ leave the loft until checkout time. Before we leave, Bella takes a few pictures of the loft, the scenery and the two of us to show grandma bear, Alice and Rosalie.

As we climb into the town car, Bella whines, "I'm so tired. Wake me up when we get there. You wore me out Dr. Cullen." Although I warn that the ride is short, Bella still nestles into my chest quickly falling asleep in my comforting arms. As she naps, I rest my head atop hers whispering promises of forever love, for her and _our_ babies _because there will be more_ . . . and, how someday, despite her objections, she and I _will_ go on an adventure. As if listening in her sleep, she snuggles deeper into my chest; I squeeze her tighter.

The car slows then finally stops in front of the house. I hear the driver remove the overnight bags. He opens the door. Slowly, I rub Bella's pack urging her awake. "Baby, wake up. We're here." Her soft sleepy eyes look up into mine. She smiles a sleepy smile.

"Come on Mrs. Cullen, _we're_ home."

**A/N:** **Well, that's about it for the regular chapters of my first story. There will be an epilogue and an outtake for Tanya and Alistair fans soon. As one last favor, I am begging (yes begging) you to please leave a comment if you read this chapter. The past chapters have had many readers/viewers but very few reviews. I would really love to know what you think about my characters and, more importantly, my writing. I have another story in mind but really need to know if I have an audience out there for my stories. **


	52. Chapter 52 Miracle

**A/N: Okay, so I am a BIG fat liar. As I began writing the epilogue, it mysteriously morphed into a baby shower planning chapter versus a "happy ever after" chapter I had set out to write. No R.S.V.P. needed for Bella's baby shower. Instead of a gift, I'd love a REVIEW. Lastly, THANK YOU FOR ADDING MY STORY TO THE LOVE BITES COMMUNITY!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own 80 pop icon Rick Astley or any of his songs. I also do not have any rights to American Horror Story. No beta so all mistakes are mine. Kindly, let me know if you find any. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. **

**Chapter 52 "Miracle"**

_**BPoV**_

All bundled up nice and cozy in my well warn quilt, I feign sleep on the sofa attempting to ignore grandma bear and Alice's whispered knock down drag out fight about the appropriate color scheme for the impending baby shower. Alice is opting for a very trendy gold and mint combo while Esme demands the tried and true traditional pink and baby blue color scheme. I have other ideas.

"If _she_," Alice hisses in the direction of the sofa, "would stop being so stubborn and just tell us the sex of the baby, we wouldn't be having this problem right now. I don't know why you can't get _your_ baby boy to tell you the sex. I thought the two of you were thick as thieves."

Esme lets out a long sorrowful sigh. "He won't budge. Believe me I have tried every trick in the book. He's growing as stubborn as Bella these days. He keeps giving me some cock and bull story, and I quote, 'I don't know the sex of the baby'."

"I can hear the two of you," I murmur sitting up and stretching. _There's no point in trying to nap in the middle of world war three._ "And, no, Edward _isn't_ going to divulge the sex because he doesn't know the sex of our baby. And even if he _did_ find out, I made _my_ husband swear not to disclose the sex of our baby to anyone including me under penalty of no sex for daddy if he does." I grin victoriously, "Honestly, he isn't telling some cock and bull story. He really doesn't know the sex and neither do I. So I'm guessing I win this one," I wink in Esme's direction; she winks back at me.

Through narrowed eyes I look in Alice's direction to reiterate, "And I know tradition holds that I'm not supposed to be involved in the planning of my own baby's shower but, _for the last time_, I want a vibrant lavender and teal green color scheme."

Esme shudders at my suggestion while Alice huffs in frustration turning her back to me.

"Yes, we know . . . teal for Edward's green eyes and lavender for the color of your hair when you first met." Alice sticks her finger in her mouth pretending to gag. "Blah . . . blah . . . blah . . . We let you get away with those colors for your wedding . . . because, after all, it was _your_ wedding, but no more. Mom and I are running _this_ show and, I say no lavender and teal."

Still wrapped in my quilt, I walk over to my laptop pounding out something on the keyboard as I speak. "Want to make a bet," I threaten. "It's teal green and lavender or," I draw out, ". . . or no baby shower." I arch my brow lifting my eyes from the screen targeting Alice's seething eyes; her nostrils flaring.

"She's bluffing," Alice counters with confidence.

"Try me," I snarl with a menacing voice. "I will text _my_ husband right this second. I will tell him it's more romantic to go shopping together for baby things than have a baby shower." A wicked grin spreads across my face, "I'll ask him to take me shopping right after his shift . . . to buy every single last thing our baby will need . . ."

"That's it," Esme screams, "the baby shower colors are teal green and lavender," Esme concedes pleading for Alice to back down. "You know your brother Alice," she pleads, "He'll jump at the chance to spend money on his wife and baby. She," dramatically pointing in my direction, "she never asks for anything . . . he'll buy out every baby store in Seattle if Bella gives him the opportunity. The colors are teal and lavender Bella. You win."

"You are so weak mother. Can't you tell she's bluffing?" Alice's voice wavers slightly.

Triumphantly, I stand. "Alice come take a look at this."

Feeling slightly defeated and outnumbered, Alice trudges in my directions and plops herself on the chair. "What am I supposed to . . . ," Alice's eyes bug out as she squeals, ". . . oh my goodness, this is so adorable. Mom, come see this."

I huff on my nails polishing them on my shoulder and inspect the shine, "Was I right or was I right. I guess I won't be texting Edward after all. I'll just leave you ladies to your baby shower business . . . me and baby cub are hungry for some grub," I say more to myself as my threat is all but forgotten. Alice and Esme _oh_ and _ah_ over the teal and lavender baby shower images on the Pinterest page. _Gotta_ _love Pinterest._

Sitting at the kitchen table my mind silences the excited voices floating from the other room. I savor my warm cup of tea and the quiet as I reminisce about exactly how this entire baby shower color scheme fiasco first began.

_Babe, text me when you leave for your appointment. I'll meet you there – 3E xoxoxoxo _

_I flip through the maternity magazine not really looking at the magazine pages. Anxiously, I wait as mommy-to-be after mommy-to-be is called in for their appointment fully aware my name will be called soon. "I can't believe he is going to miss this," I mumble to myself. "He is going to be so disappointed . . . so heartbroken."_

"_Mrs. Cullen," the nurse calls from the door._

_I take one more disappointed look at the entrance before following the nurse to the examining room. She weighs me, takes my temperature and blood pressure then hands me a paper gown, "If you wouldn't mind changing and hopping up on the bed Mrs. Cullens. The doctor will be here in a moment." Drawing the curtains, she leaves the room. _

_Quickly undressing, I slip on a rough sleeve of the paper gown, when I notice the curtain flows from the force of the opening door. The curtain is yanked across its rail. Half naked, I gasp as my frantic husband shouts, "Did I miss it? Is it all over?" _

_I exhale relieved he didn't miss the appointment. "No sweetie, you didn't miss it." I slip on the rest of my gown before I slip him a calming kiss. "Go sit down and catch your breath."_

_Even as he sits, Edward feels the need to explain his lateness. "There was a three car fender- bender . . . the traffic was stalled . . . the police finally opened a single lane. You should have seen me babe. I was pulling my hair out thinking I wasn't going to get here in time." _

_I sit on my flustered husband's lap soothing his hair down whispering calming words to his lips. "Hush, you're here now . . . everything is fine."_

_The three car fender-bender all but forgotten, "You look mighty sexy in this mommy bear," he smirks running his hands along my exposed back._

_Our lips meet just as the doctor knocks and opens the door. "Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she smirks. "Hello Dr. Cullen, it's good to see you again. Now Bella if you don't mind hopping onto the bed we'll get started. So how have you been feeling?"_

"_She perfect," Edward answers as I make my way atop the examining bed. Edward pulls his chair setting it near my shoulders as the doctor begins her examination._

"_I'm good . . . a little tired now and then but otherwise I'm fine."_

"_You're not overdoing are you? . . . I mean between taking care of your dad and fixing up the house . . . you're not taking on too much I hope . . . . by the way, how's your dad doing these days?" _

"_No, I'm fine. I promise I'm not exerting myself . . . and, thanks, dad's doing great. He's taking a few steps at a time and he's been working with a speech therapist. He's still struggling with his speech but he'll get there." I look to Edward who nods in agreement. "His goal is to hold and feed the baby all by himself."_

"_Holding his precious grandchild is an amazing incentive for your father. I understand how important it is for you to take full charge of your dad but make sure you're getting help with him. Are you taking your prenatal vitamins and iron supplements?"_

_Before I can respond, my husband slash doctor, "I promise doctor she is being well taken care of. She is eating healthy and she goes for a walk in the evening. She's perfect."_

_There is a knock on the door. A technician wheels in an ultrasound machine even though there is already one in the room. _

"_Oh, what's this?" I worry. "Is the baby okay? Edward what is that . . . what's going on doctor?" My eyes fill with worried tears. "What's wrong with my baby?" I cry._

_Before I know what is happening, I am wrapped in Edward's comforting arms. "Hush baby, please don't cry . . . there's nothing wrong with our baby. I promise. Please stop crying. You know my heart cant' take it when you cry. Look at me." Edward tilts my head up. I look into his teary emerald green eyes. With his thumb, he wipes away my tears. "That is a 3D sonogram machine. I asked Dr. Santiago if she would have it available for us today. I thought you might like having some 3D images of our little cub. I wanted to surprise you. I am so sorry you were frightened." He wipes away a few more of my tears hugging me closer to him. "I promise with all my heart and soul our baby is perfectly fine."_

_Feeling a bit silly and embarrassed by my hysterics, I feel my face turn crimson red. "I am so sorry for my outburst doctor. I'm so embarrassed."_

"_Don't worry about Mrs. Cullen. Perhaps I should have warned you first but I knew your husband wanted this to be a surprise for you. I'm sorry you were upset but be assured that your baby is perfectly healthy. Now, what do you say . . . let's take a few pictures of the Cullen cub."_

_I recline back on the bed as the technician sets up the machine. Edward holds my hand as I attempt to calm my racing heart._

"_So, with these images, we can get a very clear look at the sex. Have you changed your mind about knowing the sex of your baby?"_

_In unison, Edward and I answer a resounding, "No."_

"_Edward denies he wants a boy but I know my husband . . . he can't lie to me no matter how hard he tries." _

"_And my wife," Edward interjects, "denies she wants a girl yet every time she refers to our baby 'she' slips from Bella's lips," he smirks. "So we have agreed to a compromise . . . we've decided to let the sex of the baby be a surprise . . . whether our baby is a boy or girl really doesn't matter to us as long as he is healthy."_

"_See what I mean doctor," I chuckle rolling my eyes at Edward's slip of the tongue._

"_What? What did I say?" _

"_Nothing sweetheart," I patronize patting him on the back. _

"_That's fine then. I'll just move the screen away from your view for a moment." Dr. Santiago examines the screen before returning the screen in our direction. _

_On the screen is an image of a baby . . . our baby sucking her thumb. I gasp as my tears return, "she is so beautiful." My heart aches at her beauty. _

_Edward kisses me, "You are doing such an amazing job momma bear. He looks perfect."_

_We wait as the technician prints our images. Edward keeps one for his locker at the hospital while I take the copies home to show the family._

Carlisle places a soft kiss to my head bringing me out of my daydream. "How are you feeling momma bear? Those two escapees from the American Horror Story insane asylum aren't bothering you are they?"

I giggle, "No I'm fine. Don't worry about me I can handle those two any day of the week. Do you want some tea? I don't mind making you a cup."

"Tea sounds good, thank you."

As I busy preparing Carlisle's cup of tea, he asks, "Did I ever tell the story of our flight home after Edward's graduation?"

I nod, "No, what story?"

Carlisle turns in his chair to look at me before beginning his story. "Well, Alice and Esme gave Edward such a hard time about _you_, poor boy."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because _we_ all knew the moment we saw you and Edward together at the diner that _you_ were it for him . . . and we simply could not understand why he had not asked you for your phone number to keep in touch with you." Carlisle chortled, "Oh, you should have seen poor Edward the moment we drove away from the restaurant. Alice and Esme were relentless. Anyway, the plane we booked for our flight home was filled to capacity so we weren't all able to sit together. Edward quickly offered to sit with me while Alice and my wife sat together gossiping about the two of you."

"Oh poor Edward," I laugh, "I can just imagine."

"Edward was so exhausted after the long graduation weekend. He knocked out soon after take-off. I quite enjoyed the flight; Edward was very entertaining. As the plane was about to land, a stewardess walked by informing the passengers that the plane would be arriving in Seattle soon; this caused Edward to stir. I leaned toward Edward whispering that is was probably a good idea that we had sat together. Edward was confused at my comment. His voice was thick with sleep as he asked why."

"So why was it a good idea that he sat with you?" I ask curiously.

Carlisle lets out a loud guffaw, "Let's just say I never knew he talked so much in his sleep."

My face began to redden thinking what Edward might have said in his sleep. "Wh . . . what did he say?"

"Now, this is between me and you my daughter. I've never even told Edward what he said. I told him that I was going to keep that little bit of interesting information to myself. You never know when I might need him to do something for me. It's called leverage."

"Um no Grandpa Bear, that's called blackmail. Let's call a spade a spade," I laugh as I place his cup of tea on the table.

Carlisle gives me a stern look before continuing with his story. "As I was saying, Edward spoke very highly of you in his sleep. He may have mentioned Bella slash Penny . . . twinkling golden honey warm chocolate eyes . . . um something about long mahogany brown hair with glistening deep violet highlights. . . freesia . . . strawberry . . . hoodies . . . pizza and beer . . . goodbye kisses . . . babies and _his_ wife." Carlisle pats my hand and smiles.

My tears flow freely as Carlisle lists the things Edward always said he loves about me. I always knew that I had loved Edward even before I knew him and cry hearing that he felt the same way.

Carlisle hands me a napkin as I blow my nose and wipe my tears away. "I'm so glad you and Edward were able to find your way back into each other's lives."

I stand giving him a thank you kiss on the cheek. I pass the two escapees arguing about some new crisis as I head up to my room. Knowing Edward is in the middle of his shift, I text my husband all the same. This needs to be said now. _**There was never anyone before you and never will be anyone after you – you are my forever Edward I love you – Bella xoxoxoxo **_

_**You know you are my only past, present and future I love you too – Edward xoxoxoxo p.s. give my baby a kiss from his dad.**_

I sigh as I read his reply. I kiss the tip of my fingers placing my fingers on my baby bump. "That's from daddy little one. Now let's take a nap." I shuffle my Ipod lowering the volume. I fall asleep humming along to '_Many roads I've traveled And faces I've seen Each tells a story Of what might have been A missed golden moment But life still remains A search for the innocence Somehow we lost on the way And we all need a miracle That I truly believe, Ya we all need a miracle, I believe my miracle is you, Now the silence that follows, The last curtain call, I don't know anyone, Who has come through it all, But you gave me direction, A part in your cast, No longer make believe, Now that I know it will last, And we all need a miracle, That I truly believe, Ya we all need a miracle, and I believe my miracle, Ya I believe my miracle, Ya I believe my miracle is you, And we all need a miracle, And I believe my miracle is you, It's you, My miracle is you."_

A/N: Don't forget please leave a review and whether you vote for a girl or a boy, last chance. "Miracle" written by Rick Astley and Andrew Frampton


	53. Chapter 53 Miracle part 2

A/N: Once again, please forgive me for telling yet another fib. I promised this would be the epilogue but, as you will see, Bella took forever to give birth. So, I am done lying. Next chapter will, in fact, be the epilogue.

Disclaimer: I give homage to Ms. Meyer and _Breaking Dawn. _ Unfortunately, I don't own any word of the story and, for that, I am horribly downcast.

**Chapter 53 "Miracle" part 2**

_**BPoV**_

I carefully weave my fingers through Edward's hair thinking he needs a haircut but then I think how I would miss his long uncontrollable hair. So I decide against mentioning it. A smirk crosses my face as he hums with every touch of my fingertips. I finally understand why Esme always loved getting up before dawn; it's the serenity, the quiet of the morning, the time of day to think without any distractions, to just be but most importantly it's the perfect time to watch my sleeping husband. I could sit and watch him sleep all morning long stifling my giggles when he mumbles my name and smiles . . . but then, I do think.

"Babe, I'm not comfortable," I whisper in his ear.

"What's wrong?" Edward bolts up in a panic from his sleep. "Is it time?"

"No, no it's not time," I giggle patting his racing heart.

He lets out a deep breath. "Do you need me to rub your lower back . . . tell me what's bothering you," Edward worries as he scurries to the center of the bed assessing my body.

"No, no, that's _not_ what I mean, I'm sorry for upsetting you . . . I'm fine, well, as fine as an eight and a half month pregnant whale can be . . . but that's not what I'm talking about." I struggle to sit up positioning my pillows to support my lower back and grin as Edward rushes to help me.

"Here, let me do that," he offers as he adjusts my pillows.

I cup Edward's face before he has a chance to move locking his worried eyes with mine. "When you do little things like that for me," I inhale shaking my head, "I can't tell you . . . Edward, I love you so much sometimes it hurts." Tears run down my face. "That didn't come out right. It's just that you mean the world to me . . . oh, don't pay attention to me. I'm just being silly, emotional." I lean forward kissing his cheek.

Reciprocating my gesture, Edward cups my face wiping my tears away with his thumb, "You _are_ not being silly or emotional Bella because I know exactly what you mean. It hurts me to think of ever being without you too. And, I love you so much too." He tenderly crashes his lips to mine; his kisses soft and hard and driving me wild. When he breaks the kiss, Edward returns to the center of the bed placing a kiss to my basketball size baby bump before resting one of my swollen legs on his lap while slipping off my sock. His hands slowly knead up and down my leg and back up again a bit too high this time.

"Mmmmmm . . . don't stop babe. That feels so good." My eyes roll back as I release a groan of pleasure all but forgetting what I was saying as his firm hands slid back down to my ankle. My hooded eyes lock with his twinkling emerald eyes as he licks then kisses the tip of my big toe. I close my eyes releasing another moan. _Focus Bella._

"You always say that."

Even with my eyes closed, I can tell from the sound of his playful tone he is taking a sort of smug satisfaction at the sounds his touches elicit.

"Now, tell me what's bothering you Penny?"

Nervously, I open my eyes and begin to play with the corner of my quilt, I fumble with my words. "Okay, don't get upset . . . I know we agreed to keep this a secret . . . a surprise, I get it, but I really think we need to tell them before they're born. I've been thinking about it and, I don't know," I shake my head trying to come to terms with my decision, "I just think your mom is going to be so hurt that we kept it a secret from her." I look into his attentive eyes. "I think we should tell them," I worry.

"I thought you wanted it to be a surprise? I thought we agreed."

"I did . . . I do. I'm just worried your mother will be hurt knowing we kept this from her. I love her so much Edward; she means the world to me. She has done so much for me and my dad . . . it's killing me keeping _this_ from her." I rub my enormous baby belly. "At first, I thought it would be fun but now . . . you don't know how many times I almost let it slip." Emotional pregnancy tears fill my eyes. "I hated deceiving her about my extra baby weight . . . and her worrying that I might develop gestational diabetes or preeclampsia especially with these fat kankles." I twist my swollen ankles.

Before I can finish my tirade, Edward lifts me into his arms settling me on his lap. I rest my head on his chest listening to one of my favorite sounds, the beat of his heart.

"Bella, I know how much you love my mother," he chuckles, "believe I know. I used to be her favorite but if you asked her to choose between me and you I think I would come in second."

I hit Edward on his chest. "Don't be ridiculous. You're her baby. You know damn well you are her favorite."

"I _was_ her favorite. _You_, my love, now hold that title . . . and giving her two grandchildren at the same time . . . I'm never getting it back," Edward chortles. "Believe me baby, _if," _he emphasizes, "if mom does get upset, it will be for about a nanosecond after she hears she is getting two baby for the price of one."

"Are you _sure_ Edward?"

"I'm positive. And, if she does get upset, I promise I will take full responsibility . . . you and our babies won't be harmed in the making of this family but, I'm not worried, _I know_ it's not going to happen so relax." Unexpectedly, Edward lets out a loud hardy laugh. "I bet by the time you're released from the hospital she, Alice and Rosalie will have the nursery set up for two."

I laugh knowing my wise husband is probably right.

_Three months previous ~_

"I feel like I've thrown you out of your house," I cry into Esme's neck clinging to her like a child on the first day of kindergarten.

"Oh honey," she sobs, "for the last time, this is Edward's and your house now. It's simply too big for Carlisle and me. We've been talking about this move since Edward and Alice left for college so stop worrying; it's not good for my grandchild."

My body stiffens at the mention of more grandchildren knowing the secret I am keeping from Esme . . . the entire family for that matter.

"And, like we've said before, Carlisle and I expect you and my son to fill each and every last one of those bedrooms with a grandchild . . . well except Charlie's bedroom of course." She lightly pats me on my backside. "Besides, we are five minutes away and I still have my key." She pulls out of my clinging arms cupping my face, "It's your turn to make this house a home for you and Edward and my grandbaby. Now, I have to get going. Carlisle is taking me furniture shopping." She wiggles her eyebrows before placing one last kiss to my forehead.

Edward stands near me wrapping a strong arm around my shoulder, as we wave, watching Carlisle and Esme drive away.

Just as Esme and Carlisle are out of sight, Alice comes darting out the front door with the last of her garment bags one flung over each shoulder. "Well that's it. I'm off. Call me if I've missed anything."

Always the gentleman, Edward takes the heavy bags from Alice carrying the bags to her car.

Alice and I hug and I begin to cry all over again.

"Buck up woman. I'll be back in a few days. Remember you promised to help me with my website. I gotta get going. Jasper and I are going to christen every single room in the apartment."

"Alice," I scream, "way too much information for my delicate ears."

And just like that, with a laugh, Alice is gone too.

Edward takes a few long strides and, without warning, whisks me into his arms. I squeal in surprise. Just like the first night of our honeymoon, we kiss as he carries me over the threshold bridal style.

Still in his arms, our kisses turn heated until I squirm in his arms giggling, "Edward put me down. I'm too heavy for you . . . you're going to hurt your back."

"Then let's take this to the bedroom," he breathes.

_One week after the due date ~_

"I'm a week overdue . . . sigh . . . I'm as big as a house . . . _sob . . ._ my back is killing me . . . _hiccup _. . . I can't even see my feet unless I stretch them out . . . and my stretch marks, my stomach looks like a purple roadmap . . . _another sob_ . . . my comfy slippers don't even fit me anymore . . . _cry_ . . . get th . . . this out of me."

"You, my dear, are on the verge of a pregnancy fit. Come on, let's get you to the sofa." Esme helps me from the uncomfortable kitchen chair to the family room. She supports my back as I rest on the sofa adjusting the overstuffed pillows under my legs. It's mid-September but this pregnancy has my blood heated. If I wasn't pregnant, I would swear I was experiencing menopause.

"I'm sorry dad but can you please lower the television. I have a terrible headache," I sob.

"Sure Bella."

Despite my condition, I smile at the clearness in his voice. I am so proud of him. He has been working so hard with his speech therapist and I hear all that hard work in every word he struggles to utter.

Esme places a cool cloth on my forehead before sitting at the other end of the sofa. She massages my feet rotating my swollen kankles. She hums one of her favorite tunes by her red-headed ginger.

Silent tears slip out the corners of my eyes damping my ears and hair. I can't help but smile a watery smile when I hear dad hum along to Esme's song.

"I'm sorry I'm being so difficult Grandma Bear," I whisper through my tears.

"Shhhhhh . . . it's almost over sweetie . . . there's nothing to be sorry about. It's all part of this whole baby making game and when it's over you are going to have a beautiful copper-haired green-eyed adorable baby boy."

Giggling, I wipe my tears. "What if the baby has mahogany hair and brown eyes and it's a girl?"

"Nonsense woman, the Cullen men always have a boy the first go around. It is tradition _and_ you know how Edward is about tradition."

"At this point, I wouldn't care if it had green hair and purple eyes I just this over . . . and I'm sorry to inform you, but I'm not going through this ever again. If you want more grandchildren, you better go talk to your daughter Alice." I scream clutching my protruding stomach. "Oh, that was a strong one."

Esme stops massaging my feet looking up at me in horror. "Bella," she cries, "What do you mean that was a strong one?"

"Oh, I've been having some muscle spasms . . . mostly my lower back but every so often right here." I draw small soothing circles on my lower belly.

"Bella, how often have _you_ been having these spasms?"

I cover my eyes with the cool side of the cloth. "Oh, I don't know . . . an hour or so. If you don't mind, I'm going to try to take a nap."

"Okay baby, just relax. I'll be right back." She pats my feet as she stands.

As I try to rest, I hear Esme's urgent voice. "Carlisle, whatever you are doing drop it and come over right now. I think Bella just went into labor. She's been have contraction for the last hour or so. I need you to stay with Charlie so I can take her to the hospital." She is silent for a moment. "Okay, okay. Just hurry up."

I'm sitting up, my eyes wide with fear. "What do you mean I'm in labor?"

"Honey, those back spasms weren't spasms they were . . . are contractions. As soon as Carlisle gets here, I am taking you to the hospital."

"I thought contractions are supposed to come in equal intervals . . . these spasms are irregular."

"It's your first baby . . . every pregnancy is different. Believe me you're not experiencing spasms. You're in labor." Esme hands me my cell phone. "Now, text your husband and tell him to meet us at the hospital."

_Edward - 911 This is it! Your babies and I are on the way to the hospital! I love you Edward. _

He must have had his phone in his hand. A moment later he responds. _**Meet all of u there I love you too Bella – forever!**_

"Bella, where are the overnight bags for you and the baby?"

"I think Edward put them in our bedroom closet." I call out experiencing another spasm.

Esme darts about the house grabbing the overnight bags. I secretly grin knowing the baby bag is filled with two sets of clothes. _Edward was right; she isn't going to be upset . . . I hope. _ Hearing Carlisle's car door slamming shut, I waddle over to dad, my flattened hands supporting my lower back, bend down and kiss dad goodbye as he gives me a thumbs up. "Love you."

I thank the gods above for dad's wheelchair and ramp as Carlisle wheels me to Esme's car. All the way down the ramp they argue who should take me to the hospital. I pause as another contraction hits me as I am transferred to the car.

"Fine," Esme huffs conceding to Carlisle's rationale, "but Charlie and I will be right behind you. I'm not missing the birth of _my_ grandchild."

On the ride to the hospital, Carlisle asks me to text Edward to take care of admitting. "He'll be a nervous wreck. Taking care of all the paperwork will keep him busy until we get to there." While Carlisle calmly drives, he dishes out words of advice of how to make the delivery as painless as possible. "But then again, I've never given birth so what do I know," he chuckles.

As I'm wheeled passed the double doors, Edward is pacing back and forth. His knuckles are white with worry as they pull at the roots of his wild hair.

"Edward," I call out to him.

In a flash, he is on his knees before me. "Baby, how are you feeling? Well, I know how you're feeling but . . ."

Always the voice of calm and reason, Carlisle asks, "Edward, we need to get her upstairs. Did you take care of all the paperwork like I asked?"

"Yes, I have her room ready and waiting. Let's go. The doctor is on her way."

Edward holds my hand as Carlisle wheels us to the elevator.

_Some hours later ~_

"Edward, if you're not going to rub my back the right way, go get your mother so she can do it," Bella seethes before letting out another gut wrenching scream. With superhuman strength, she clutches hold of my hand waiting for the pain to subside.

"Um Bella, you're stopping the blood circulation in my hand."

"Oh, I'm sorry Edward. Am I hurting you?" My voice fills with sarcasm and contempt, "Maybe we can trade places. You hop up here for God knows how many more hours of utter agony and I'll let you squeeze my hand. How does that sound?" I seethe in pain and mockery.

"I'm so sorry baby . . ."

"Don't _baby_ me. Just go get Esme. I need her," I scream; my scream morphing into uncontrollable sobs.

With a defeated look, Edward rises from my side as he flexes his white fingers. "What a big baby," I grumble then cry.

I cry even more seeing that I've hurt my love. "I'm so sorry baby . . . _sob_ . . . I'm just so tired . . . _sob_ . . . and it hurts so much . . . _sob_ . . . I love you . . . please forgive . . . oh, it hurts . . ."

"Edward, please wait outside for just a minute," Esme begs as she adjusts my pillows.

"I'm not leaving Bella," Edward argues.

"No, you're not leaving Bella. You're just giving us a few moments alone. I promise. Now, go."

Edward looks at me, pain in his eyes, before exiting the room but I sense him just outside the door.

"He hates me," I burst into more tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me . . . the horrible things I said to him."

Esme pulls me into her arms resting my head on her chest and rubbing soothing circles to my back. "Hush sweetie, Edward does not hate you and you do not hate Edward. Believe me once your baby is born this will all be forgotten. Now, do what you need to do to get through this . . . take deep cleansing breathes, talk to Edward about the day you met and fell in love, or what you are going to name my grandchild. Don't focus on the pain . . . . don't let it overpower you . . . every time you think you can't take anymore, look into Edward's eyes . . . you _can_ do this. You are my strong girl."

I rest against the pillows as Esme kisses my forehead. She whispers, "I'm going to get Edward now, okay."

"Okay, thank you."

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry," my face writhers in pain but I refuse to give into the pain as Esme adviced.

"No, I'm sorry for upsetting you. You can scream and yell and dig your nails into me if it will make you feel better. I want you to give me all your pain. It hurts me to see you in so much pain."

A half an hour later Dr. Santiago returns with unsettling news, "I'm sorry Bella . . . Edward . . . I know you had your heart set on natural delivery but, at this point, Bella is experiencing a non-progressive labor. Her contractions are too irregular and her cervix isn't dilating as it should. Her blood pressure is elevated. She needs to be prepped her for an emergency cesarean section stat before there is fetal distress."

"Edward?" In panic, Bella squeezes my hand. "Edward, what is she talking about? What's wrong with our babies?" Bella's heart monitor spikes at her words.

"You're experiencing dystocia sweetheart. Your cervix isn't dilating even though you are having contractions.

**EPoV**

"Doctor, I'm going into the operating room with her," Edward dictates.

"Edward, we don't have time for this. Bella will be given a general anesthesia; she will be unconscious."

"I'm going. I'm not leaving her side." Edward vows.

"Fine, we don't have time to argue. Go tell your family what's happening and then go prep but _you are not_ to interfere no matter what. Do you understand or _I will_ have you thrown out of the operating room?"

Bella's bed is wheeled out of the room and past our waiting family.

Mom leaps to her feet in terror, "Edward, what's going on," she cries. In tears, Alice is at her side for support.

"I don't have time to explain." I look to my dad. "She is experiencing dystocia. Dad you can explain it to them. I've got to go."

Before leaving, I take Charlie's strong hand looking deep into his eyes. "I promise I won't let anything happen to your girl."

Charlie's eyes well with heavy tears simply nodding.

My eyes lock with Bella's as I swear to her everything will be perfect. I promise that when she awakes she will be the mother of two very healthy babies. Attempting to ease her anxiety, I tease, "At this point, I won't mind if they are both girls."

"And I won't mind if they are both boys," she counters with a weak grin. "I love Edward."

"I love you Bella. Remember, I will be right here when you wake up."

As we talk, I watch as a catheter is inserted into her bladder, an IV line is inserted into her arm, and she is attached to various monitors. I step back as the general anesthetic puts Bella to sleep freeing my wife from her pain. A surgical drape covers her body as I sit adjacent to her head. My fingers traced hearts to her cheek as she sleeps.

As the first incision is made, I talk about the time we first met and how she changed my life forever. I tell her I will never forget how simply beautiful she looked on our wedding day and night." I murmur that more closely to her ear. Those memories meant only for her. I tease apologizing for my jealous behavior at our wedding when I saw her dancing with Alistair.

I hear the flow of the amniotic fluid as my first child is delivered. Momentarily, my world stills as I wait for the cry of my child and with that first cry my entire world changes. I kiss Bella's cheek.

"You have a healthy baby boy Edward," Dr. Santiago announces.

"We have a son Bella. You didn't it baby . . . you did it."

And a few minutes later, my world stills for a second time as I wait for another cry . . . and, there it is.

"Well, it looks like your son has a brother Edward." Dr. Santiago jokes.

"Two boys Bella, two healthy boys, baby." I give her two soft kisses.

I watch memorizing every detail of our boys first few moments of life to retell my wife, their mother. Every fiber of my being is anxious to hold my sons but I will wait. I inform the attending nurse that my wife and I will see our twins for the first time together.

"Ah, that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

I follow Bella as she is wheeled into the recovery room. I hold her hand waiting for her to wake. Not quite half an hour later, she finally wakes; she's groggy but awake.

Her shaky hand roams over her now flattened abdomen as she reaches for me. "Edward, our babies?"

I kiss our connected hands, "our babies are perfect. How are you feeling?"

"I'm a bit groggy but . . . okay."

"Are you ready to meet your sons?" A proud, slightly smug, smile spreads across my face.

"Sons? We have two boys . . . two handsome baby boys just like their father." My wife begins to cry.

"Bella don't cry. I know you had your heart set on a girl . . ."

"I'm not crying because I wanted a girl. I'm crying because I bet they look just like you."

"Well, actually, I don't know what they look like. I haven't seen them yet. I've been waiting for you to wake up so we can see them for the first time together."

My wife weeps again. "Oh Edward, see what I mean. You're killing me. Just when I think I can't love you anymore than I do, you go and do something like this . . . I love you. I simply love you. Now, call the nurse so we can meet our boys."

A few minutes later, two attendants wheel in a bassinet each holding one of our sons. They are swaddled in pale blue blankets topped off with soft pale blue caps. The first bassinet is labeled Cullen boy one while the other reads Cullen boy two.

I slightly adjust the recovery bed so Bella can comfortably hold one of her sons then set a chair at the head of the bed for me. I pick up my first born son and reverently place him in his mother's waiting arms. I pick up our second born take a seat on the chair.

In reverential silence, we admire our newborns.

"They're identical," Bella laughs.

"They're only identical if they have the same color eyes and hair too." I remove the cap to find a head of fine wild cooper strands.

Bella follows suite laughing to discover the exact same cooper color hair.

"Like I said 'they're identical'."

"It would appear so. You do realize, once my mother gets her hands these two, we are never getting them back."

"Mrs. Cullen we're ready to take you up to your room," interrupts the nurse.

We kiss our sons goodbye as Bella is wheeled to her room. Knowing she is out of danger, I head down to the family waiting room.

I'm riddled with guilt when I see the anxious look on my mother's face obvious that she has been crying. She rushes me crying, "Edward how's Bella?"

Comforting my mom, I look to an equally worried Charlie. "Bella's perfect. She was a little groggy but she is fine now. They are taking her up to her room. Give us about an half hour to have her settled in and you come up. The new Cullen family will be waiting for you."

Mom's tense body eases at my reassuring words and Charlie smiles. "She is in room 709 . . . see you in a bit."

"Edward wait," Alice calls to me. "The baby . . . is it a boy or a girl."

I don't answer but simply smirk, "room 709 . . . half hour." I leave before they can bombard me with more questions and I ruin the surprise.

"They should be here any minute. So you agree?"

"Yes, I agree."

I kiss my wife's forehead and groan hearing the excited chatter of Esme and Alice and Rosalie and Emmet and even Jasper.

"Remember Dr. Cullen," a nurse warns my dad, "only two at a time. Mrs. Cullen has just come out of surgery. No stressful . . . she needs to rest."

"You and Charlie go first," I hear dad offer before there is a soft knock on the door.

I snap a few pictures with my cell phone before I call out, "Come in mom." I open the door knowing she will be wheeling Charlie through the door.

Bella is holding Cullen baby two as I hold Cullen baby one in my arms.

Leaving the Chief at the foot of the bed, mom walks right pass me ignoring my little bundle of joy.

"Oh Bella, how are you sweetie. Let me see my grandchild. Is it a boy or girl," she rambles.

"Grandma Bear, I'd like you to meet your grandson Masen Carlisle Cullen," Bella proudly announces her second born son lifting her elbow slightly to give mom a better view.

As expected, mom cries and laughs declaring, "I told you Edward wouldn't have it any other way. I knew the baby was going to be a boy."

Invisible to my mother, _I_ announce, "And Charlie, I'd like to introduce you to your grandson Anthony Charles Cullen."

Stunned by my announcement, my mother turns in my direction. "What," she screams causing the twins to stir. "Twins?"

"Identical twins," Bella gleams with pride. "Two mini Edwards."

In unison, we shout, "Surprise!"

Using his wheelchair for support, Charlie rises from his chair and walks to Bella. Supporting his body with the bed railing, he leans down kissing her forehead.

"You better work hard old man. These two are going to keep you busy."

Mom still hasn't spoken a word as her watery eyes bounce from baby to baby.

"Mom please say something."

"Alice and I need to go shopping. You're not prepared for twins . . . and, if then next one is a girl, I may forgive you for not telling me,"

"The next one," Bella moans. "Are you insane? After what I just went through, I'm never having sex again let alone have another baby."

Charlie cringes at Bella's declaration.

"Sorry dad."

There's a knock at the door as Alice's head peeks through the opening. "We're not waiting any longer. We're coming in hospital rules or no hospital rules."

Dad relents despite his objections that it's against hospital rules. He is overruled as the rest of the family pile into the private maternity room.

I stand behind Bella as the family is stunned into silence when they see the twins. We introduce our twins again. I notice a tiny grin escape as dad hears Masen's middle name.

The family takes turns carefully holding the babies and taking selfies with our twins. Our family celebration is interrupted by an extremely angry head nurse. "Dr. Cullen . . . _and_ Dr. Cullen," she shakes her head, "the two of you know better than this. Everyone out," she points in the direction of the door. "Mrs. Cullen needs to feed the babies and then she needs to sleep. Now go." Before she leaves, she looks at dad, "shame on you doctor."

We roar with laughter as dad reddens from embarrassment.

It takes mom another fifteen more minutes before dad is able to pull her away from her grandsons. He finally ushers her out of the room.

"We will be back bright and early tomorrow," she promises or warns.

As hospital policy, the twins are returned to the nursery. Due to the C-section, Bella's recovery time will take a bit longer. I rest on my side one arm under Bella's neck as we cuddle together both exhausted from the day's events.

While Bella sleeps, I create a photo album of our baby's first pictures dating it September 13th.

A/N: In celebration of the twin's birth, please let me know what you think by leaving a brief congratulatory review. Until next time.


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